cchapter 17chaphapter 17 marriage, parenthood, and...

CHAPTER 17CHAPTER 17CHAPTER 17

Marriage,Parenthood,and Families



408

K N OW L E D G E

Which of the statements below are true, and whichare false? Check your answers on p. 642.

1. In healthy marriages, the spouses try to meeteach other’s needs.

2. The serious emotional consequences of divorceare felt only by the couple divorcing.

3. A spouse should depend on his or her partnerto solve all conflict in the marriage.

4. A parent’s behavior affects how his or her children feel about themselves.

5. An increasing number of single fathers areraising their children.

Copyright © by Holt, Rinehart and Winston. All rights reserved.

409

SECTION 1

Marriage

SECTION 2

Parenthood

SECTION 3

Families

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T wo halves of one whole. The resting place for deep friendship.The blending of souls. All of these phrases have been used todescribe marriage. But marriages do not form easily.

Marriages are created by the strength of loving actions, commitment,compromise, and emotional intimacy.

Healthy Marriages: Working TogetherYou have probably observed many married couples. Have younoticed how the interactions of each couple differ? A is alifelong union between a husband and a wife, who develop an intimate relationship. Deciding whether to marry is one of the most serious decisions a person can make. Marriage can provide greatrewards for both partners, such as deep friendship, emotional intimacy, and children. Knowing the responsibilities of a healthymarriage can help you prepare for this decision.

marriage

Marriage

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OBJECTIVESDescribe the responsibilities of married partners.

List five things couples should discuss if they are considering marriage.

Name three difficulties that teenagers who are married may face.

Identify four ways in which a teen can cope with a divorce orremarriage in the family.

KEY TERMSKEY TERMS

marriage a lifelong union between a husbandand a wife, who develop an intimate relationshipemotional intimacy the state of being emotion-ally connected to another personemotional maturity the ability to assess a rela-tionship or situation and to act according to whatis best for oneself and for the other person in therelationshipdivorce the legal end to a marriage

Mature love takes time to develop. Todevelop a serious relationship, thepartners must be willing to learn abouteach other.


SECTION 1 Marriage 411

Responsibilities of Marriage A healthy marriage requires thatboth partners work together to meet each other’s needs. Other responsi-bilities for each partner include the following:

> Love In a healthy marriage, spouses show their love for eachother through actions and do not depend solely on feelings oflove. Feelings of love change over time. Sometimes, couplesmay not feel the same intensity of love they felt when theywere first married. However, if the spouses are patient andwork together, they can regain feelings of love and support.Often, a couple’s love grows deeper and stronger after the cou-ple has worked through a hard time.

> Commitment A commitment is an agreement or pledge to dosomething. In a healthy marriage, spouses make a commitmentto work through their differences, remain faithful to oneanother, and to make their relationship work. Commitment inmarriage requires that both partners be willing to change them-selves for the good of the couple. A person cannot change his orher spouse’s habits; the person can change only his or her own.

> Compromise Compromise is essential in a healthy marriage.Compromise in marriage means not always getting your wayand sometimes giving up what you want. Each partner mustprioritize needs and desires and then discuss these prioritieswith his or her spouse. Although compromise requires sacri-fice, both partners benefit from the stronger relationship thatcompromise brings.

> Emotional intimacy Intimacy, or familiarity with each other, isimportant in a healthy marriage. is thestate of being emotionally connected to another person. Themost common way for a couple to develop emotional inti-macy is through good communication. Each partner is respon-sible for expressing feelings in a truthful, loving way if therelationship is to grow.

A person can have a healthy marriage even if he or she has not seenan example of one. Those who have not seen a healthy marriage need toknow that a healthy marriage is possible for them through lovingactions, commitment, compromise, and emotional intimacy.

Engagement: Developing Your RelationshipsDeveloping emotional maturity is an important part of the engage-ment period. is the ability to assess a relationshipor situation and to act according to what is best for oneself and for theother person in the relationship. It is important for the couple tomake sure that the relationship is built on mature love, not on in-fatuation, or exaggerated feelings of passion. In mature love, each part-ner tolerates and accepts the other person’s flaws. With emotionalmaturity you can better determine what is needed to improve a rela-tionship and to allow it to grow.

Emotional maturity

Emotional intimacy

Benefits of Marriage

> Emotional and physical intimacy

> Companionship and deep friendship

> Financial support system

> Greater emotional stability


412 CHAPTER 17 Marriage, Parenthood, and Families

Discussing Important Issues Using the engagement period totalk about the commitment ahead is essential to building a strongrelationship. Talking seriously can be difficult because each personfeels intense love and is eager to marry. Each partner must ask someimportant questions and gain advice from others to make the bestdecisions possible. During the engagement period, couples shoulddiscuss issues such as the following:

> What are our values and beliefs?> Should we have children?> How will we handle conflict between family members? > Should both of us work outside of the home?> Where should we live?> What are our economic expectations?

Couples should come to agreement on these issues to clearly under-stand each person’s desires and goals.

Premarital Education Classes Premarital education classescan help couples openly discuss their goals and expectations of mar-riage. Major differences may surface, and a counselor can help thecouple decide if those differences can or cannot be resolved. If theycannot be resolved, couples may decide to break the engagement.Other good reasons to break an engagement include physical or emo-tional abuse or alcohol and drug abuse.

Teen MarriagesThe teen years are a time of dramatic changes. As a teen, you leavebehind old ways of thinking and behaving and emerge as a moregrown up person. Your interests and concerns will be different fromthose you had when you were younger.

When teens marry, changes in thinking and behavior are not yetcomplete. Thus, the spouse a teenager chooses may be different fromthe spouse the teen would choose later in life.

When teens marry, they must cope with many stresses in additionto their physical and emotional changes. The stresses of teen mar-riages include

> independence from parents and family> financial worries > changes in relationships with close friends > interaction with in-laws> concern for a spouse’s emotional and physical well-being> possible parenthoodMany married teens also put education plans on hold. They are

financially unable to meet the expenses of marriage and tuition.Delaying education can cause resentment and can keep a personfrom reaching his or her potential.

Some teenagers are unable to mentally, physically, and intellectu-ally mature into adulthood while married. Those who can success-fully mature into adulthood while married have a lot of help fromparents or other adults.

For more information aboutrelationships, see Chapter 19.link

TOPICTOPIC

“We never thoughtbeing married could be

so hard.”


Divorce and RemarriageUnfortunately, not all marriages are successful. When a marriage hastrouble, sometimes the couple tries separating, or living apart forawhile. If one or both partners decide that the marriage is over, theymay seek a divorce. A is a legal end to a marriage. Goingthrough a divorce is often difficult not only for the adults, but also forthe other family members. Everyone in the family must adjust to thenew situation.

Reasons for Divorce Many times, divorce seems like the bestsolution to an unhappy marriage. Problems such as abuse and addic-tion are often grounds for divorce. But marriages end in divorce formany other reasons including emotional immaturity, maritalunfaithfulness, conflicts with family, and selfishness. Additional rea-sons for divorce include the following:

> Communication problems Breakdown in good communicationis a common cause of divorce. If a couple fails to communicatewell, anger may accumulate over the years. The spouses may thenturn away from each other emotionally and refuse to openlycommunicate.

> Unfulfilled expectations Lack of fulfilled expecta-tions accounts for other divorces. One partnermay enter marriage hoping that life will becomedifferent or that his or her spouse can be changedas time passes. These expectations are unrealistic.Partners should enter marriage with the under-standing that marriage will not solve life’s prob-lems and that one person cannot change thehabits of another.

> Different financial habits and goals Differences infinancial habits can also lead spouses to divorce.Before and during marriage, it is important todiscuss finances, to make a budget, and to figureout how each partner will stay within the budget.

Impact of Divorce on Teens Numerous lossesoccur in a teen’s life after divorce. Some teens experi-ence a change in the relationship with their parents.Others feel the financial stress of a divorce. Many teensface other emotional stresses. For example, some teensmay experience feelings of abandonment. Others mayfeel angry at themselves for not having been able tochange the situation.

Many of these feelings are hard to identify whenexperiencing them. Counseling can help a teen under-stand these feelings better. The tips listed in Figure 1 canhelp teens cope with divorce.

divorce

DoSeparate yourself fromyour parents’ problems.

Recognize that beingmad at parents andloving them at thesame time is normal.

Realize that you arenot alone—many teensare going throughsimilar situations.

Ask for help.

Don’tDon’t feel responsiblefor the divorce.

Don’t isolate yourselffrom loved ones andfriends.

Don’t think you arealone. Others havehad similar feelings.

Don’t refuse help fromadults around you.

A divorce or remarriage in the familycan be difficult. A few tips for copingwith these situations appear below.

1Figure

SECTION 1 Marriage 413Copyright © by Holt, Rinehart and Winston. All rights reserved.


Impact of Parents’ Remarriage on Teens If a par-ent chooses to remarry, new problems may confront ateen. The teen may not have begun healing from his or herparent’s divorce. Teens often feel resentment toward theremarrying parent, the step-parent, and any step-siblings.Teens may want their mother and father to remarry eachother and see this new family as a threat to that happen-ing. They may blame the remarrying parent for the distressof the other parent.

Coping with Divorce or Remarriage Teens will findthe transitions involved in a divorce or remarriage easier ifthey keep a few things in mind.

> Your parents are doing their best to make their waythrough a difficult time. Even though you may beangry with them, it’s normal to also love them.

> Although you may be angry with one or both ofyour parents, don’t take your anger out on others.

> Find a way to constructively deal with your feelings.For example, write or talk out your feelings withfriends or a close relative.

> Don’t blame yourself for your parents’ divorce. It isnot your fault.

Accept the fact that you can’t change your parents’ decisions.Make the best of your situation. Patience and a positive attitude canhelp teens get through the difficult times of divorce and remarriage.

REV I EW Answer the following questions on a separate piece of paper.


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Using Key Terms1. Define the term marriage.

2. Identify the term for “the state of being emotion-ally connected to another person.”a. emotional maturity c. emotional intimacyb. custody d. None of the above

3. Identify the term for “a legal end to a marriage.”

Understanding Key Ideas4. Name four responsibilities of married partners.

5. Describe characteristics that you would expect tosee in an emotionally mature person.

6. List five things couples should discuss if they areconsidering marriage.

7. Name three difficulties that two teens who aremarried might face.

8. Identify which of the following are healthy waysteens can cope with a divorce.a. Don’t blame yourself. c. Be patient.b. Express your feelings. d. all of the above

9. Describe three things that teens should avoiddoing or feeling if their parents divorce. (Hint: SeeFigure 1.)

Critical Thinking10. List three difficulties a teen may face if his or her

parents divorce. Then, discuss how you could helpthe teen. Support your answers.

When Carlos was 8, hismom and dad divorced.

Carlos and his brother, Enrique, were devasted.They remember how sad and hard it was tocope after that. Enrique is 26 now and is considering getting married, but he is afraid. Hedoesn’t want to go through a divorce. How willhe know if he is making the right decision aboutmarriage?

Write on a separate piece of paper the advice you could give Enrique. Remember to use thedecision-making steps.

Give thought to the problem.

Review your choices.

Evaluate the consequences of each choice.

Assess and choose the best choice.

Think it over afterward.

MAKING

DECISIONSDECISIONSGREAT

MAKING


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Parenthood

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L eon could not remember feeling such joy. He looked downand saw his baby smiling for the first time. As he saw hisbaby’s beautiful smile and tiny hands, he realized how special

having a child is.

Responsibilities of Parents Nothing in life is as joyful, meaningful, or exhausting as being a par-ent. Raising children can be one of the richest experiences an adultcan have. The decision to have a child is not to be taken lightly, how-ever. Children require a lifetime of commitment, love, and support.

Parenting can seem like a frightening task—the moment a childis born, the child is completely dependent on the parents. Themother and father become the most important influences on theirchild’s well-being and must take on many parental responsibilities.

is the duty of a parent to provide for the physical,financial, mental and emotional needs of a child. Being a parentmeans caring and providing completely for another human being.

Responsibilities Before Birth Parental responsibilities do notbegin at their child’s birth, though. Parenting begins at pregnancy. Amother’s and father’s habits before and during pregnancy directlyaffect the health of the baby. Smoking, drinking alcohol, and takingdrugs can have serious effects on a developing baby. For example,alcohol consumed by a mother during pregnancy can cause fetalalcohol syndrome. Fetal alcohol syndrome is a set of physical and men-tal problems that affect a fetus because of the mother’s consumptionof alcohol during her pregnancy.

Emotional Responsibilities The early years of a child’s life arevery demanding on parents. Children look to parents to have theiremotional needs met. Children need to be assured that they areloved. Children also need time with parents. Nothing can replacespending time alone with parents. Secure and healthy parents make certain that they meet the emotional needs of their children.

Parental responsibility

OBJECTIVES Name three responsibilities of parenthood.

Identify how a parent’s behaviors can affect his or her children.

Describe three traits you would like to develop before becoming aparent. LIFE LIFE SKILL

KEY TERMSKEY TERMS

parental responsibility the duty of a parent toprovide for the physical, financial, mental, andemotional needs of a childdiscipline the act of teaching a child throughcorrection, direction, rules, and reinforcement

Parenting requires time, patience, love,responsibility, and a great deal ofemotional maturity.



Safety Responsibilities Parents must always make sure thattheir child is safe. The number one cause of death in toddlers andyoung children is accidents. Most of these accidents happen in thehome while a parent is present. Keeping watch over a child can be agreat strain on the parents. If you have ever been a babysitter, youprobably know how stressful ensuring a child’s safety can be.

Financial Responsibilities Children also need basic items suchas food, clothes, and medicines, all of which cost money. So, parentshave to make sure that they have enough income to take care of theirchild’s needs.

Disciplinary Responsibilities Healthy parenting requires disci-pline as well as love. is the act of teaching a child throughcorrection, direction, rules, and reinforcement. Beginning disciplinein a child’s toddler years is necessary for the child to mature into ahappy and secure person. Proper discipline can be difficult for par-ents because children naturally resist discipline. But when disciplineis given with realistic expectations and support, the child will feelmore secure, loved, and safe.

As children enter the early elementary years, parents must teachtheir children to show respect for themselves and for other people.Children learn from their parents’ actions, so parents need to be goodrole models for their children.

Parents and Teens Parenting can be especially challenging as chil-dren move into the teen years. As children grow, parents’ care-takingresponsibilities—such as expenses and safety concerns—change tomatch the children’s changing needs. As teens mature, their relation-ship with their parents may change. This change can be hard on boththe teens and the parents. It is important both for parents to be sup-portive of their teens and for teens to try to understand their parents’point of view. Effective communication, trust, and understandingallow a relationship to grow.

Discipline

ZITS reprinted with special permission of King Features Syndicate, Inc.

www.scilinks.org/healthTopic: ParentingHealthLinks code: HH4112


SECTION 2 Parenthood 417

Effects of Parental BehaviorBefore people become parents, they need to know that their behav-ior affects the children they raise. Children develop understandingabout their worth from their relationship with their parents. Parentswho communicate their love for their children from the momentthe children are born give the children a secure emotional basefrom which to grow into confident adults.

Children learn to read their parents’ behavior and speech. Whenparents are happy, children can feel secure about themselves. If a par-ent is unhappy, children can feel anxious and uncertain. The childrenmay wonder if they are loved. When parents are emotionally or phys-ically unavailable to children for extended periods, children may feelflawed and abandoned.

Parents must realize that children are highly attentive to parents’behavior. The security of their children’s world depends on the par-ents’ behavior. Parental behavior affects how children feel aboutthemselves, life, and the future. Common parental behaviors thatbuild healthy self-esteem in children include

> giving children time, attention, and physical intimacy> establishing clear rules and limits> taking the time to listen and communicate with children > praising positive behaviors and good choices

Sometimes parents have trouble emotionally connecting withtheir children. This lack of connection is not related to anything thechild did. Instead, the parents lack the skills to connect emotionally.Regardless of how parents behave, it is possible for their children tolater develop positive parental behaviors. Parenting classes, mentors,support groups, and books can help people learn to be good parents.


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Using Key Terms1. Define the term parental responsibility.

2. Identify the term for “teaching a child throughcorrection, direction, rules, and reinforcement.”

Understanding Key Ideas3. Name the major influences in a child’s life.

4. Describe one way that a parent’s behaviors beforebirth can affect his or her child.

5. Identify which of the following is the responsibil-ity of a parent to a child.a. safety c. financesb. discipline d. all of the above

6. Summarize why disciplining a child is important.

7. Describe the effects that a parent’s behavior canhave on a child.

8. Identify four ways that a parent can help toincrease a child’s self-esteem.

Critical Thinking9. Why do you think that a parent modeling good

behavior is more effective for teaching childrenabout good behavior than telling them what to do is?

10. Setting Goals What are three character traits you would like to build before you become a parent?

LIFE LIFE SKILL

It is important for parents to modelpositive behaviors for their children,such as showing affection, communi-cating, and listening.


Families

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Have you ever noticed how many different types of familiesthere are? Although families may have different structures,the relationships between family members are the most

important part of all families.

Family Relationships Are ImportantFor most people, the relationships they have with their mother,father, sister, brother, aunts, grandparents, or other family membersare sources of much joy and love. Family relationships teach us howto love and what being loved is like. They teach us who we are, whowe want to be, and what feeling accepted or rejected is like.

Family relationships are powerful because they influence our emo-tions and help shape our character, either positively or negatively.Think about your own experiences with your family. Families providefor the emotional and physical needs of their members. Families helpfamily members develop their individual identities. Families alsoinstill moral values.

Families Need Time Because our families are soimportant, it makes sense for us to put energy into ourfamily relationships. Unfortunately, not all of us do so.We sometimes spend more time concentrating on friend-ships, schoolwork, or athletic pursuits because doingthese things is easier. As you mature, it is important to refocus on family relationships and take responsibility forworking harder on them. This is particularly true if yourfamily relationships are troubled or strained.

OBJECTIVES Discuss why family relationships are important.

Describe different types of families

Name the characteristics of healthy families.

State four ways to cope with family problems. List three ways that you could help make your family healthier. LIFE LIFE SKILL

KEY TERMSKEY TERMS

sibling a brother or sister related to anotherbrother or sister by blood, the marriage of theindividuals’ parents, or adoptionnuclear family a family in which a mother, afather, and one or more biological or adopted children live togetherextended family the people who are outside thenuclear family but are related to the nuclear fami-ly, such as aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousinsfamily counseling counseling discussions thatare led by a third party to resolve conflict amongfamily members

Regardless of the makeup of a family,the relationships between family mem-bers are the most important part of thefamily.


SECTION 3 Families 419

Types of FamiliesThe members that make up a family of today may be different fromthose of families in years past. Children in a family are referred to as

or brothers or sisters related to another brother or sister byblood, the marriage of the individual’s parents, or adoption. Today,there are many different types of families.

Nuclear Families The traditional family structure is the nuclearfamily. A consists of a family in which a mother, afather, and one or more biological or adopted children live together.Traditionally, the parents in a nuclear family have clearly-definedroles, such as providing for the family’s needs and raising the children.

Blended Families Over the past few decades, family structureshave changed for many reasons, including an increase in the numberof divorces. A blended family may result if a divorced or widowedparent chooses to remarry. Blended families are made up of the bio-logical mother or father, a step-parent, and the children of one orboth parents. The parents may decide to have children together. Theparent who is not a child’s biological parent is known as a step-parent.

Single-Parent Families Some families consist of a single motherand her children or a single father and his children. This type offamily is a single-parent family. Single-parent families can occur if theparent was divorced, never married, or widowed. Most single-parentfamilies are headed by a mother. But, in recent years, an increasingnumber of single fathers are raising their children.

nuclear family

siblings,

19.8 million

16,396

27.2 million

statistically speaking. . .

Number of children living in single-parentfamilies in 1999:

Number of children adopted from othercountries by U.S. families in 1999:

Number of people living alone in 2000:

HH04PE_C17_S03 1/9/04 10:44 AM Page 419


Extended Families Occasionally, nuclear families are joined byother relatives to form extended families. are thepeople who are outside the nuclear family but are related to the nuclearfamily, such as aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. Extendedfamilies can offer great emotional support to all members because theresponsibilities of the family can be shared among the members.

Adoptive Families In some instances, parents are unable to con-tinue parenting for a variety of reasons. They may decide that in theinterest of providing the best for their child, the child should beoffered up for adoption. Adoption is a legal process through whichadults are given permanent guardianship of children who are nottheir biological children. When a child is adopted, he or she is placedwith adoptive parents and a new nuclear family is formed.

Foster Families Children sometimes live in foster families whentheir own parents are unable to care for them. In foster families, a person or a married couple who is not related to the children agreesto house and raise the children for a period of time. Foster familiesare arranged through government agencies.

Characteristics of Healthy FamiliesParents usually set the tone for the family; therefore, much of a fam-ily’s health depends on the parents. Healthy families are ones inwhich the family members learn to cope with difficulties and grow

stronger because of them. Regardless of the type of family, allhealthy families share some basic characteristics: effectivecommunication, respect, commitment, and love.

Effective communication The purpose of effective com-munication is to prevent misunderstanding, build healthyrelationships, and to express yourself. When families com-municate in a positive manner, the family strengthens as aunit.

Effective communication should be taught by parents.Unfortunately, many parents were not taught good commu-nication skills when they were young. As a result, parents mayhave problems communicating with their children or witheach other. Thus, the children become frustrated and occa-sionally discouraged. Mature communication means express-ing feelings in a positive, truthful manner.

Respect As healthy families grow, the members learn toshow respect for each other. Respect means refraining fromverbally or physically hurting another person. Respect alsomeans honoring each other’s privacy and treating eachother’s possessions with care. Showing respect to a sibling orparent is particularly difficult when you are angry. Respectdemands self-control and discipline.

Extended families

Healthy families depend on goodcommunication, respect, commitment,and love.ACTIVITY What is one activity thatyou could do to improve communicationin your family?

2Figure


SECTION 3 Families 421

Commitment Commitment in healthy family relationshipsmeans being dedicated to recognizing and achieving what is best forfamily members. Part of our commitment to siblings and parentscomes naturally, but much of it comes from hard work. Members ofhealthy families learn to accept one another in spite of each other’sdifferences.

Love Love is the feeling we receive when others in the familyexpress affection and unconditional support to us. Love is also theeffort we expend to build better relationships with our siblings andparents. Healthy family members encourage, strengthen, and showcompassion toward each other and are accountable to each other.

Unfortunately, many families do not express love in a healthymanner. For instance, a father may believe that he is expressing loveto his children by buying them many gifts. He may not realize thatthe children would rather spend time with him than receive giftsfrom him. Family members should set their priorities together.Expressing love may require great effort and sacrifice, but love withina family is one of the greatest experiences in life.

Building Healthy Family Relationships Although everyonewould love to have positive, rewarding family relationships, suchrelationships require much work from all members of the family.How can you improve how you behave in your family? How can youshow your family love, compassion, and respect? When you behavein a mature and healthy manner toward parents and siblings, theyoften behave that way in return.

Growing up under the authority of parents commonly makeschildren feel that they are helpless to change anything. In particular,sometimes being told what to do causes teens to feel that their par-ents are too controlling. If you feel frustrated in your relationshipwith your family members, you can be sure that they hurt too. So, itbenefits all of you when you all begin working on the relationship.

Coping with Family ProblemsYour family has probably had problems. All families experienceproblems from time to time. Since family relationships are impor-tant, though, each member will benefit if the problems are resolvedas soon as possible.

Problems in family relationships can occur because of manystresses. Financial problems, difficulty controlling anger, depression,and grief cause many family conflicts. When a family experiences oneof these stresses, everyone can be affected. Thus, it is important foreach member in a family to participate in solving the problem.

More serious family problems include cases of abuse. For exam-ple, one parent may abuse the other parent or the children. Familymembers should never find acts of verbal, sexual, or physical violenceacceptable. Family members should seek help from a trusted adult.

Tips for Coping with Family Problems

> Confront the problem. Ignoringthe problem may make it worse.

> Evaluate the problem as best youcan. Figure out what needs tochange for the problem to besolved.

> Take action. Determine what canand cannot be changed, and workto change what you can.

> Don’t give up. Decide that you will keep working toward resolvingthe problem despite the difficultyof doing so.

For more information aboutcommunicating with familymembers, see Chapter 3.

linkTOPICTOPIC



While the strategy for coping with each family prob-lem may differ according to the problem, some methodsare better than others. One good way to deal with youremotions is to communicate them to people you trust. Ina situation like divorce, you might want to spend timetalking with your friends, especially those who have alsohad a divorce in their family. Also, trusted adults, such asa grandparent, aunt, uncle, school guidance counselor,teacher, or religious leader, can sometimes give you someof the emotional support that you may be missing.

Another thing you could do is get involved in a newhobby or sport. Find something that absorbs your inter-est and takes your mind off problems that you cannotsolve.

Family Counseling Family counseling is sometimes necessary tohelp a family improve its relationships. involvescounseling discussions that are led by a third party to resolve conflictamong family members.

Family counselors can give another perspective, help family mem-bers see each other’s point of view in a positive way, and help to eval-uate the family’s problems. But the real work comes from the familymembers themselves. If a family needs counseling, it is more helpful ifthe entire family receives counseling. But if that is not possible, onefamily member should not hesitate to go by himself or herself.

Good family relationships are important to your emotional andphysical well-being. Although it is often difficult to confront familyproblems and take action, by staying encouraged and not giving upyou can be a part of the solution to the problem. The rewards areworth the effort!

Family counseling


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Using Key Terms1. Define the term nuclear family .

2. Identify the term for “the people who are outsidethe nuclear family but related to the nuclear family,such as aunts, uncles, grandparents and, cousins.”

3. Define the term family counseling.

Understanding Key Ideas 4. Identify two reasons that family relationships are

important.

5. Compare three types of families.

6. Identify which one of the following is not a charac-teristic of a healthy family.a. commitment c. loveb. selfishness d. good communication

7. Coping List four ways you can copewith problems in your family.

Critical Thinking8. How would you help your family if a parent was

recently diagnosed with cancer?

9. Coping Identify a problem a familymight face and outline how a teen might work toresolve the problem.

LIFE LIFE SKILL

LIFE LIFE SKILL

If your family is experiencing problems,help can be found. Find someone youtrust who is willing and available tolisten.


CHAPTER 17 Highlights 423

CHAPTER 17CHAPTER 17CHAPTER 17Highlights

Key Terms The Big Picture

✔ Families provide guidance and support, help develop family mem-bers’ identities, and instill moral values.

✔ As family structures have changed over the past few decades,many more children now live in different types of families including blended, single-parent, extended, adoptive, and fosterfamilies.

✔ Healthy family relationships are developed through effective com-munication, respect, commitment, and love.

✔ It is important that all family members try to work together tosolve family problems.

SECTION 3

sibling (419)nuclear family (419)extended family (420)family counseling (422)

✔ Love, commitment, compromise, and communication areessential to developing a healthy marriage.

✔ Couples should use the engagement period to ask questions andmake decisions about the commitment of marriage.

✔ Teen marriages are often extremely difficult because the teenyears involve many dramatic changes.

✔ Lack of communication, unfulfilled expectations, and differentfinancial goals are common causes of divorce.

✔ Although parental divorce and remarriage affect many teens, it isimportant for teens to accept the situation, avoid blaming them-selves, and to use healthy strategies to cope with their feelings.

SECTION 1

marriage (410)emotional intimacy (411)emotional maturity (411)divorce (413)

✔ Parenting requires commitment, love, discipline, and support.✔ Parents are responsible for the physical and emotional needs of

their children from before birth through the teen years.

✔ Discipline provides guidance for children.

✔ It is important for parents to be supportive of their children, especially during the teen years.

✔ Because children learn from their parents, parents’ behavior greatly affects children.

SECTION 2

parental responsibility (415)discipline (416)


424 CHAPTER 17 Review

CHAPTER 17CHAPTER 17CHAPTER 17Review

Understanding Key Termsdiscipline (416)divorce (413)emotional intimacy (411)emotional maturity (411)extended family (420)family counseling (422)marriage (410)nuclear family (419)parental responsibility (415)sibling (419)

1. For each definition below, choose the key termthat best matches the definition.a. the people who are outside the nuclear family

but are related to the nuclear family, such asaunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins

b. counseling discussions that are led by a third party to resolve conflict among familymembers

c. a brother or sister related to another brother orsister by biology, marriage, or adoption

d. teaching a child through correction, direction,rules, and reinforcement

e. the duty of a parent to provide for the physical,financial, mental, and emotional needs of achild

2. Explain the relationship between the key terms ineach of the following pairs.a. divorce and marriageb. emotional maturity and emotional intimacy

Understanding Key IdeasSection 1

3. Name two responsibilities of partners in ahealthy marriage.

4. The benefits of marriage includea. deep friendship. c. emotional intimacy.b. financial stability. d. All of the above

5. What is the purpose of premarital educationclasses?

6. Why is it important for individuals in a relation-ship to have realistic expectations of each other?

7. Explain why it is difficult for teen marriages tosucceed.

8. Many marriages fail because ofa. poor communication.b. lack of commitment.c. emotional immaturity.d. All of the above

9. Name four ways in which a teen can cope with adivorce or remarriage in the family.

10. CRITICAL THINKING Write one paragraphexplaining why you think compromise plays such an important role in the success of a marriage.

Section 211. Describe what is meant by the term parental

responsibility.

12. The responsibilities of parents begina. before their child’s birth.b. when their child can walk.c. after their child is born.d. during their child’s teen years.

13. Describe the responsibilities of a parent.

14. CRITICAL THINKING Describe traits a personshould work on before becoming a parent.

15. CRITICAL THINKING Write two paragraphs onwhy you think parents’ behaviors have such a great effect on their children throughout the children’s lives.

Section 316. What are two important things that family rela-

tionships teach us?

17. Compare two different family structures.

18. List qualities that are necessary for a healthyfamily.

19. Explain how family counseling might help fami-lies experiencing conflict.

20. CRITICAL THINKING List three ways you couldhelp make your family relationships healthier.LIFE LIFE SKILL

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CHAPTER 17 Review 425

Interpreting GraphicsStudy the figure below to answer the questions that follow.

21. What percentage of households are made up ofmarried couples who have children and in whichboth parents work outside the home?

22. CRITICAL THINKING Why do you think thehouseholds made up of married couples whohave children and in which only the husbandworks outside the home is the smallest category?

Activities 23. Health and Your Community Imagine you are a

counselor advising a man and a woman who are engaged to be married in 3 months. Write three questions that you feel willhelp them decide if their marriage will be healthy.State why these questions are important.

24. Health and Your Community Choose a televisionprogram that portrays a marriage, and watch theprogram. Answer the following questions aboutthe program: How is marriage portrayed? Do youagree or disagree with the show’s portrayal ofmarriage? Support your answers.

25. Health and You Write five positive character traitsthat you possess and that you believe willmake you a good parent. Then, explain why each trait is important to good parenting.

Action Plan26. Coping It is important for families to

develop problem-solving skills. Devise a plan fora family to work out its problems.

LIFE LIFE SKILL

27. In this passage, the word relent means toA resist.B state your desires clearly.C give way under pressure.D insist on something.

28. What can you infer from reading this passage?E Marriage requires that spouses consider

each other’s needs.F Marriage always interferes with your career

plans.G Parenthood reduces one’s chances of

promotion.H The reason that most couples stay married is

that they live close to their families.

29. Write a paragraph that compares the benefits ofworking through difficulties in marriage.

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Read the passage below, and then answer thequestions that follow.

Since Anne and Collin were married, Annehas wanted to move back to her home state.When they had a son, Anne went back towork to help pay bills. She loved her job, butCollin wanted her to stay home with thebaby. One day, Collin told Anne that he hadreceived a promotion. Anne knew the pro-motion meant they wouldn’t move and thatCollin might want her to quit her job. BothAnne and Collin told each other what theywanted. Then, each decided to relent. Collintook his promotion. They did not move backto Anne’s home state. However, Annerequested a flexible work schedule and wasable to keep her job.

31%

31%

25%

13%

Married couple with children, both parentswork outside the homeOther (ex: single-parent families, households headed by older adults)Married couple withoutchildren, both partnerswork outside the home

Married couple with children, husband worksoutside the home

Households by Type of Family

Source: U.S Census Bureau.

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