caregiving: from mystery to meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · now is the time to …prepare for death,...

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Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning Sara Honn Qualls, Ph.D. UCCS Aging and Gerontology Centers and Lane Center for Academic Health Sciences © Sara Qualls

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Page 1: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Caregiving: From Mystery to

MeaningSara Honn Qualls, Ph.D.

UCCS Aging and Gerontology Centers and Lane Center for Academic Health Sciences

© Sara Qualls

Page 2: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

“There are only four kinds of people in this world…Those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, those who will need caregivers.” Former First Lady Rosalyn Carter

Page 3: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Mystery #1: What is happening?

Page 4: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Care Recipient’s Problem

• Illness

•Functional Challenges

Page 5: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Caregiver’s Experience

•Your Current Concern

•Level of Distress

•Meaning and Purpose

Page 6: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Changes in Contexts of Care

•Your Life

•Broader family context

•Care service structures

Page 7: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Metaphors: Career or Journey

• Caregiving has a temporal dimension that varies with the illness/disability

• Caregiving career has key transition points (e.g., onset of direct care, institutionalization)

• Lifespan context for caregiving - a continuum of care

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Page 8: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Mystery #2: What do I need to do now?

It depends….

Page 9: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

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Family CG Stages

Patient Death

Post-CG Structure

Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure

Transition to CG

CG Period Early CG Structure

Middle CG Structure

Late CG Structure

Page 10: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Pre-Caregiving

• Uncertainty about observed changes

• No specific problem has been named

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Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure

Page 11: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Transition to Caregiving

• Common reference to the “problem”

• Problem may be given a name

• Adjustments in family have not generated any significant role change; operations as usual with more work

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Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure Transition to CG

Page 12: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Career Phase I

Now is the time to • Get evaluation

• Start monitoring and investigating

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Page 13: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Care Management

Respite Care

Financial Assistance

Senior Housing

Telephone Reassurance

Home Delivered Meals

Transportation

Caregiver Services

Information & Assistance

Leisure Services

Page 14: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Services Options

• Housing

• Social services

• Legal services

• Family supports

• Health care

Page 15: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

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CG Career Phase II

Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure

Transition to CG

CG Period

Early CG Structure

Middle CG Structure

Page 16: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

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Caregiving is neither linear nor universal

Page 17: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Early CG Structure

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CG Period Early CG Structure

Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure

Transition to CG

Page 18: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Hands on care

IADLsTransportation

Medication monitoring

Shopping

Appointments

Food preparation

Finances

ADLsBathing

Dressing

Toileting

Transferring

Ambulating

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Page 19: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

When is it time for…more services?

• How do I know whether he really needs help with

• cleaning the house?

• managing appointments?

• transportation?

• taking medications?

• What do I do if she refuses help but ends up sick because she doesn’t take her medicine properly?

• How do I know if she is vulnerable to

• fraud?

• financial coercion?

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Page 20: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

When is it time to …restrict her independence?

• When does she become a dangerous driver?

• She’s never had an accident.

• She gets lost all of the time and asks strangers for directions even to familiar places.

• When is it too risky to let him live alone?

• What if he falls?

• His neighbors are worried about him, should I be?

• He won’t even discuss moving out of the home even though I find cigarette burns on the furniture and sheets.

• How can I keep her from sending checks to every appeal on TV or in the mail?

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Page 21: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

NOW is the time to…Consciously care for self

• CG well-being is critical to both CG and CR

• Exercise, nutrition, nurturance

• Use choice to stay free from feeling trapped

• Ask for help

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Page 22: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Middle CG Structure

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CG Period Early CG Structure Middle CG

Structure

Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure

Transition to CG

Page 23: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

NOW is the time to…Start Partnering

• Learn about specific elder care services

• Identify financial resources and entitlements

• Make a care plan (short-term, long-term)• Use formal as well as informal help

• Play to your strengths

• Communicate with other family members23

Page 24: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

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Driving

Finances

Housing

Informal Decisions require

•Repeated conversations among the key players

•Up-to-Date data on capacity

•Clearly negotiated structures for decision-making

•Clear values

Page 25: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

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CG Career Phase III

Patient Death

Post-CG Structure

Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure

Transition to CG

CG Period

Early CG Structure

Middle CG Structure

Late CG Structure

Page 26: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Late CG Structure

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Patient Death

Post-CG StructureLate CG

Structure

Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure

Transition to CG

CG Period

Early CG Structure

Middle CG Structure

Page 27: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

When is it time for…hospice or palliative care?

• Hospice – start within 6 months of death• Focus is on choice about how to live and how to die

• Available to nursing home residents, at home, or in a residence

• Benefit – extra staff assistance, family support/guidance, expertise in pain management

• People wait too long and only get a few days of help

Palliative care or Comfort care• Focus on quality of life rather than length of life

• Helps craft a dying process that fits your values

• Can reduce medicalization of end of life care and death, if you want

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Page 28: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

NOW is the time to…prepare for death, dying, and

bereavement• Reflect on how you want him/her to die

-> Who, what, when, where, how

-> How do today’s choices shape the dying process?

-> How do you communicate with him/her about dying?

• Focus on quality of life as it is experienced by CR

• Anticipate death rituals – what do you value/need?

• Consider the CG’s future life after CR death

-> If possible, build bridges to the future28

Page 29: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Post-CG Structure

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Patient Death Post-CG

StructureLate CG Structure

Illness Onset

Pre-CG Family Structure

Transition to CG

CG Period

Early CG Structure

Middle CG Structure

Page 30: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Family Tasks

• Create closure after death: estate, family dynamics, care arrangements

• Re-create a life structure without formal providers, caregiver-imposed life activities, and emotional demands

• Grieve

• Re-connect with other relationships, rebalancing after imbalance of CG period

Page 31: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

NOW is the time to…reconnect with my “on hold” self

• Inventory my core self – what is depleted, missing, injured, starved?

• Grieve for what has been lost in the relationship and other aspects of life

• Identify sources of joy that can be renewed

• Value the gift of giving care

• Begin to look forward again…

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Page 32: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Mystery #3: What gives the journey meaning?

Page 33: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,
Page 34: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,
Page 35: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Connections and Inter-Dependence

Page 36: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Mindfulness

•Engagement in health … and life

•Support maximal functioning

•Establish benchmarks/milestones that measure facets of life you value

•Anticipate next transitions

Page 37: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

Same as at any other point in the lifespan…we garner hope from -

• Meaning

• Presence

• Connection

• Inter-Dependence

Page 38: Caregiving: From Mystery to Meaning · 2018. 4. 17. · NOW is the time to …prepare for death, dying, and bereavement • Reflect on how you want him/her to die -> Who, what, when,

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