Cappuccino Coaching

Module 14Self Esteem

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Welcome & Introduction(Give a few lines of introduction about yourself)

• “In my coaching I help …” (e.g - people with relationship issues or struggling with overwhelm)

• “Through questioning & coaching skills I help people …” (e.g– determine what their life purpose is, to set boundaries, set action plans & take action in their lives)

• “I’m a bit like a plumber – I help people unblock their problems!”

©Ruby McGuire 2015

What are Cappuccino Coaching Sessions?

©Ruby McGuire 2015

• A way of learning what coaching is

• A starting point for taking action and making some small changes in your life

• Safe environment – get involved as little or as much as you choose

• In business? A way of meeting like minded people, bring your business cards & share

• Not in business? Just mingle, make new friends

What We Will Cover Today

• What is self-esteem?

• Difference between self-esteem and confidence

• How low self-esteem can affect us

• Inner gremlins

• 8 Strategies to build self-esteem

• 2 Exercises to help gain perspective

• Mini action plan

©Ruby McGuire 2015

What is Self-Esteem?

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Group brainstorm or individual work

Oxford Dictionary Definition

“Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect”

Difference Between Self-Esteem & Confidence

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Group brainstorm

Self esteem is how you ‘esteem’ or value yourself. It’s your perception of whether you’re a worthwhile person

or not

Confidence can be related to action and ability, a belief that you’re able to do something

How Low Self-Esteem Can Affect Us

• Self-doubt• People pleasing• Find decision making difficult• Lack assertive skills• Think everything is their fault• Worry about everything, past and future• Defensive when challenged – hits a

nerve of imperfection• Avoid conflict – peacemaker• Don’t take credit or ‘own’

accomplishments, strengths• Can affect health – depression, fatigue,

insomnia

WkBk

• Over achievers• Perfectionists – nothing quite up to their

expectations• Inner critic• Small things become big dramas – over

analysing• Don’t speak up• Think everyone is better, more clever,

talented than them• Say sorry – a lot!• Brush off compliments• Social withdraw

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Inner Gremlin (Game)

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Group work or individual

Draw a character to symbolise what a self-esteem inner gremlin might be like

Not great with images, that’s ok – do speech bubbles and put words in for what you might hear them say or how they might

make you feel

Strategies To Build Self-Esteem(WkBk)

©Ruby McGuire 2015

1.Notice negative self-talk – change it to the positive find evidence to the contrary

2.Set mini goals and achieve them3.Recognise what’s within your control (circle of influence)4.Challenge your doubts – worst case scenario5.Give yourself permission – to say no, to6.Choose to choose the positive7. Rubber band technique – negative snap8.Mirror exercise

Ps. Write a list of your strengths, achievements & compliments

8 Strategies To Build Self-Esteem(WkBk)

©Ruby McGuire 2015

1.Notice negative self-talk – change it to the positive find evidence to the contrary

2.Set mini goals and achieve them3.Recognise what’s within your control (circle of

influence)4.Challenge your doubts – worst case scenario5.Give yourself permission to say no, then say no6.Choose to choose the positive7. Rubber band technique – negative snap8.Mirror exercise

Johari’s Window (WkBk)

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Open/free area

Blind area

Hidden area

Unknown area

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3 4

A Journalling Exercise

• What’s happening right now?

• What am I telling myself about this situation?

• What ‘stories’ am I creating to make this worse than it is?

• Write down any feelings that come up around that

• What would be a more realistic or more useful way to view this?

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Mini Action Plan (WkBk)

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Are you willing to commit to building your self- esteem?

What’s important to you?

What do you really want to achieve?

Rocking chair (regret strategy) Write in your book

What We Have Covered Today

• What is self-esteem?

• Difference between self-esteem and confidence

• How low self-esteem can affect us

• Inner gremlins

• 8 Strategies to build self-esteem

• 2 Exercises to help gain perspective

• Mini action plan

©Ruby McGuire 2015

Enjoyed Today’s Session?

• What was the best thing about this session?

• Come back next month for our topic on ….

• Tell your friends, follow on facebook, twitter etc.. (give business card if you have one)

• Want to work with me 1-2-1 (here’s how…)

• If you’ve left your name will add it to my mailing list – latest topics, hints/tips etc..

• I will leave you with some words of wisdom

©Ruby McGuire 2015