call her dove for purity

8/3/2019 Call Her Dove for Purity

1/128

For Halli

Poems By Ezra Vancil

2005-2007


2/128

The Softest Part

The softest part of a woman

Is not where you may think

Behind the ears

in the mouth

or lips of petal pink

inside the knee

inner thigh

you still have not to findthe tender place

its not her face

or curve against the spine

her finger tips

bloom of hips

the nipple, or the eyes

beneath the breast

just a test

to know you really tried


3/128

a trick you say!

if not the cradled

skin between the toes

a game to play

who finds the way?

who can really know?

The softest part of a woman though

is nowhere you can touch

with fingertips

or open lips

its nothing of the such

Emotion

you might say above

is everything she lives

but not just love

and then it is her willingness to give


4/128

like a fool

I want to love you like a fool

Where reason wouldnt play

count up all my precious things

and throw them all away

I want to love you like a war

where soldier meets the grave

fighting for the breath thats left

and dying to be saved

I want to love you like a king

a brave and noble knight

laying down his crown and sword

to offer you his rite

I want to love you like the sea

angry waves of white

crashing on the sailors stern

with all of waters might


5/128

I want to love you like a drug

coursing in the vein

selling all I could become

to loose myself again

I want to love you like Im mad

driven to insane

howling at the hollow moon

naked in the rain

I want to love you like a fire

devouring the night

burning like the devil's den

and pure as angel light

I want to love you like the wolf

crouching out of site

hungry like an empty field

and thirsty for the fight


6/128

I want to love you like a drunk

whose mouth he cannot tame

spilling all his thoughtless thoughts

with ever more to say

I want to love you like a storm

break the weather vane

flatten trees on mountain tops

drown you in the rain

I want to love you like a fool

not - embarrassed or ashamed

trading every reasons doubt

for all I cant contain


7/128

Mysterious

Mysterious, I have to taste

that simple fruit bellow the waste

simple? Yes

complexity

to odds at end

an irony

sweet as wine is said too much

Id rather say the perfect lunch

the salt

the sweet

a recipe

for where they meet, the end of me

Mysterious, I rest my face

between two pillars lightly grace

the inner crevice

valley

hills

I quench my thirst, but hunger still


8/128

from where we came,

each man no doubt

the going in

the coming out

for eyes to peer

from legs embrace

across the hips

breast and face

Mysterious, it is indeed

when fingers plot, trace with greed

the soft

the fine

the peek the line

two arms that reach, two breast they find.

I plot a course and learn the way

from bowing back and peaceful stay


9/128

with inner thigh

breath in cry

her hand, my hair we keep in time

Mysterious, Ill look again

and never hope to find the end


10/128

tangled little hearts

My hope for old

when floors are cold

we lay with no regret

like blowing trees

arms and knees

tangled tide of sweat

when all would think

the sun has drank

all passion from the breast

our secret soul

still sexual

put weary bones to test

grandchildren laugh

we take a bath

and tell them not to listen


11/128

theyll roll their eyes

and act surprised

when wrinkled folks are kissn

youll tease my lips

with naughty nips

and tell me to be slow

my heart would blast

could be the last

what better way to go

to meet the end

two old friends

that know each hidden part

whove loved a life

man and wife with tangled little hearts


12/128

The Seed

How strange indeed, I wonder

This weight of dreams Im under

lost on paths of planted seed

I bare the wrath of fruitless trees

In fear of Lies, Life and truthI find you there, beyond my youth

Further than, my heart could go

you lay you down, like a road

That ever was, and still will lead

to the root, of barren seed

and ask me now, how could it grow?

The waters deep but never flow

without Centrific energy

going out and back to me

through the failings of a man

and a womans grasping hand


13/128

with tears a flood, our cheeks a stain

but bring us life, like summer rain

for thirsty tongues that yearned to say,

the flood of years, all tucked away

for flower spring, where lovers kiss

and dig the earth in cautiousness

to find the seed, that couldnt grow

become the love, theyll ever know


14/128

Train for two

I caught reflections

on a train

staring back from window panes

I was therelooking too

on a train

Me and you

A man in front

We had to laugh

We made a short, Illicit Rap

On a train

They fell in love

He the Mexican

her the dove

Their only touch

a shoulder space

so light the bond of skinless taste


15/128

His wife is ill

he feels alone

on this train

he finds a home

No names or speak

no kissing deep

No Holidays or candy sweet

Just on a train

Just enough

Traveling quiet -

tracks of love

No proof of shame

No lovers game

no come or go or lonely pain

I saw reflections

me and you

we had to laugh our train for two


16/128

to shame the loneliness

I drink a bitter coffee

black, the way I wish

two days old, I drink it cold


I eat a pickled sausage

not even on a dish

in a robe, no one to scold


I watch the television

blank, and pictureless

I sit and stare, who would care


I sleep like in a coffin

dreaming of a kiss

in my clothes, shoes and soles



17/128

Pictures, Photographs

Pictures, Photographs

what do they tell?

Stories maybe

they seem so far

theres your baby

my first car

Flat and shinny, old and square

Photograph a past affair

so familiar, not the truth

that wasnt me!

Thats not my youth!

funeral wake, the past and gone

their body there

but who can say

a lonely room

a hollow grave

cold and empty, white and pale

photograph it, just as well


18/128


19/128

the panting wolf

in desert heat

who sees a ghost

he tries to meet

But moving forward

disappears

the moving water

only tears

the corn and wheat

the croppers share

birds they feed

in summer air

and dust that travels

aimlessly

without the glue

the earth to flee

in clouds that tear

the eyes and strain

I miss you like I miss the rain


20/128

the moment I woke

I Lay in bedcoffee

smoke

My dreams didnt start

till the moment I woke

Ive been awake

wash

eat

I dressed for work

but just couldnt leave

you brush a hand across my chest

unaware of my restlessness

fluttering eyesdream

lay

your ears are uncovered

do you hear what I say

whisper love

touch

purra kiss to your breast

a naked stir




21/128

covers removed

deep

arcI trace the spine

to the back of your heart

close my eyes

tongue

lips

I make a line

to curve of your hips



stir and stretch

stretch

yawn

you open your eyesto find I was gone

you Lay in bed

coffee

smoke

your dreams didnt start

till the moment I woke


22/128

Nameless, Unknown

My heart is a building, naked and plain

built from old lumber, Left in the rain

The eaves, the trim, Knobs and shades

barring the rust, dust of the days

The windows they breath through planks on the wall

sparing one space, for sunlight to fall

on floors untouched, except for the rays

in rooms where I once, traveled the maze

My heart is a building, vacant, but one

section of floor, where I lay undone

No furnishings slumber in corners, on walls

the doors are all closed to frighten the halls

dark, and sense lonely, long forgotten

for lack of my feet, know not where they end


23/128

My footage, as square, conforms to my waist

for nothing to move, except for my face

To look at the sunlight, cutting the void

where once was the bed, I lay as a boy

My heart is a building, once called a home

now its just me, nameless, unknown


24/128

heart you deceive

1.

I never believed in magic

never did,

life is hard

thats all it is

Its tragic, but only to some

that try to imagine their kingdom come

the hidden rabbit breaths hard in the sleeve

with roses,

dead pedals

still we believe

in fairy and dust,

sneeze if you must

get out of the vacuum,

sweep up the lust

for what you deceive, those dreams that will come

you're starting a race refusing to run

at least in your mind, clouding the line

projecting

in transit

never define

what is this race?

Why did I go?who is this face?


25/128


26/128

betray my conviction, to die in the fight

dilute my addiction to think I am right

I never believed

but never knew

the magic I need

inside of you

but not really magic, I dressed it in greed

bluffing this tragic heart I deceive

for

Anger

bitter

hypocrisy

casting my spell refusing to cede

3.

I never believed in magic

never will,

life is hard

and willing to kill

its tragic, but only to some

refusing to see their kingdom come


27/128

I'm stuffed!

I wanna spread you thin,creamy, on a bagel

toasted

fresh

hot

savor each bite

lick you off -

my fingers

the corner of my mouth

Ill leave a bit to make you laugh.

Save it for later

Ill say its a snack

if I get hungry before I get back

I wanna saut you in garlic

with peppers - hotsalt..

cheese..

the flavor in oil

infuse with your leaves

over a salad.. inside a soup

tomatoes

red onions

brown rice.. a scoopnot to dilute

or over power

the taste of your skin

lightly dusted in flour

sizzle and pop

drizzle a dop

Id make you a doughnut

if I were a copor better yet


28/128

I think an clair

cream in the middle

squeeze you right therein a coffee cup

some on my chin

lick it off

and squeeze you again

I wanna bake you in broth

400 degrees

winesauce

caper goat cheese

stuff you with seafood

potatoes

brie

serve you with scallops

fresh from the sea.

reduce you to thickened,

sauce made with cream

jiggle your gravy

poach you and steam

fry you in butter

sugar your spleen!

Im stuffed...your love feast for a king


29/128

call her DOVE: for purity

I call her dove

for purity,

she thinks its cute

she likes the thought

that she could be

purity,

by love,

and sought

through corridors,

halls,

pushing doors

in captured time

rousing slumbers impatient mind

she thinks its cute

I think she climbs

moving walls

undefined

I call her dove

for purity

she wonders why


30/128

but likes the thought

impunity

by love

the questions brought

threw corridors,

halls,

and tears

of waterfalls

locked in time

frozen fears

thaw

prehistoric crime

purity,

by love

she takes it slight

I call her dove

an angel's light

but too close

above

her strings

of youth forgot

not for the weak the root weve wrought


31/128

-- I call her dove

for purity

for when I look

its what I find

I like the thought,

she,

pure,

defined, not in her eyes but in mine


32/128

I once was a king

I once was a king,crown,

coat of armor

purple robe,

chamber,

honor

goblet with stones

drank of the fine

foods

at a table

longer than time

the virgin

queen

royal

esteem

invisible kingdomI once was a king

The jester in magic

fools fire

burned for the city

my royal attire

a joke

laughedcover my skin

queen

she laughed

royal virgin

invisible crown

jest through and through

I once was a king loyal

true


33/128

My mind

My mind

I think

or maybe myself

my soul

a friend

that sits on the shelf

He talks to me

quiet

in small simple terms

I listen sometimes

but never do learn

he seems so wise

with years

time

I listen to flavor the wandering mind

he thinks, yes no stop


34/128

he counts up my blessings

winds up a clock

he seems so wise

but fool to such things

as longing

pain

sex

strings

so much beyond

not touched by the lies

he talks to me angry

bitter

and kind

plunders my fortune

enables my spine

drinks of the fruit

drunken in wine

sees to the future

truth

shine

darkens my door

sees when Im blind


35/128

encourages sin

then torches my soul

with

shadrack

meshack

and abendego

lures me in

arouses my deep

seeded lust

to bite in my teeth

Look what youve done!

you naked shame

the life be damned

that gave us our name!

burn burn

you innocent fellow!

your week in your age

soft

mellow

He shows me a sky

sunset on field

nudges my breast

slow


36/128

yield

wanting it all

sin and taste

curses the God

that built me this place

Chained

maybe

from innocent crimes

my self my love my hate my mind


37/128

Have you seen the movie

Have you seen the movie

you know the one

Woody Allen,

the call girl, son

Thats my favorite

Mango

sauce,

sushi

sashimi

land of the lost

bad Santa, Will Farrell

Italian singers,

Bach,

Beethoven

your little fingers

Try this salad

Thai and sweet

Im getting fat

what shall we eat


38/128

Chianti is good

neath these lights

sangria, and chili

lets cook tonight

have you read this book

War and Peace

I wanted to, someday

but wait for me

well read each chapter

a verse in our bed

have you read

Gabriel Marquez

Im feeling depressed

in one of my moods

coffee is best when laying with you

Blender

high speed

look at it go

garlic


39/128

oil

oregano

make me a drink

the one that I like

Mexican food sounds good tonight

I love the feel

the look of this bar

shadows

light

particular charm

tell me that joke

tell it to him the Scottish one

my Scottish friend

Lets get a boat

fly a kite

go to new york

stay up all night


40/128

God is agape

do you know what that means

real Chili, you know

doesnt have beans

I had a dream

It made me so angry

I dont like Tabasco

on chicken fried gravy

Damn thats hot,

Im starting to cry

quit rubbn your chin

without you Id die

after we kiss

how far do we go

your driving is crazy, stay on the road

I think I have loved you

all of my life

my mother was his

birth midwife


41/128

chop up the garlic

pour me some wine

I think vinyl siding,

a capitol crime

wood

floors solid doors a big back yard

a book case of course

cant answer my phone

Im quiet today

you know how I get

all there or away

buffalo burgers

tuaca and fries

the best in the world

ya right, thats a lie!

But I do like these chips

take a picture with one

cashews from India

or Vietnam


42/128

drink your water

I swear that I will

you never told me that water can kill!!

tomatoes, fresh

Ill pay with my cash

I love you so much I could (censord) !


43/128

she

Shell hurt you when the day is donenothing's gained and nothing won

In a life of constant need

a hunger, void, can never feed

bring you empty to the end

stooped on knees to sore to bend

emotions feed the great facade

insanity from perfect god

break your will, scatter far

The Man you were the boy you are

nothing lasts from chemistry

lovers law of entropy

Shell say its true, the best of lies

drown you in her alibis

sleep in peace while war is waged

between the sheets passion aged

plan the future for her own

dig up all the seeds youve sownturn the fault for public eye

in your direction, make m cry

say she wants to know your all

For evidential court to call

Judge and jury justice law

for the witness, alcohol!


44/128

tie your rope too tight to bare

make boys flirt, and men to stare

with painted eyes, slips from Freudtell you that your paranoid

hide a life she promised you

blame you that you never knew

manipulate the fat from gravy

with her breast and bouncing baby

Shell buy a stone when you're deceasedcry in black for all to see

carve your name, then engrave

here lies, my helpless, little slave


45/128

Passions ghost

Passions ghost in 4th dimension5am, candle light

electric drought for spirit found

intentions sleeps

while shadows drown

in jukebox, bar,

youve fallen down

to come so far

from Aphrodite, Hera, Circe

She gave you peace, but freedoms curse

Seven points Chakras, Chi

Futile search for energy

To know beyond all spirit plane

indifference, passion, hurt & shame

secret dreads in secret beds

Bibles Rod, and guilty deathsthis leads you to the interpass

of passion's ghost, in 4th dimension

Circles straight, forth and side

5am, candle light

miss a plane or miss a life

miss a chain, miss a wife

question thoughts, Ideas, beliefs

once upon a time in Greece


46/128

The rain today

God, father,peace in space

how far will you let me go

the rain today

in graceful wind

touched my side like lustful skin

I remembered then

a thought,

long since past

An afterthought

of how I see

your unseen face

In every vessel

you create

trees, rainhills

enzyme

I could never

search, refine

your place, your throne

above

all smoky clouds

in life, in loveyou hypnotize

what do you want,

why did you bring us

why do you taunt

my heart

A prison, arcane

I dont remember I dont know


47/128

a time in life

when even-flow

through my in'casedplace

rest

Ive known no peace

at best

you tease

say you dont

I couldnt tell

with gamesI blow on sails

to treat you like

your own creation

I have my lies

my bribes

fascination

in life

timeto death

i dane

soft as skin, was the rain

you're beautiful

why would you bring

the sage of youth

and winsome truth

to futile

rich

soil to breed

without the option to succeed


48/128

black Hurse

Mission

I had a mission,

I could have been great

God gave me tools,

I no longer lie

for his divine

plan,

grace

I was to be

invincible, in time

space

claw,

gouging skintearing wide open

truth

within

flawed, mandate,

a story to tell

God gave me tools,

tragic mindlike no other,

(of course its true)

Only I know

the things I could bring

In other dimensions

what worth I choose

invincible tensionswalked with Augustine


49/128

the Beatles

black Hurse

I spread like an eaglethe wings

of the curse

the width

the span

the depth

the fold

of all that I was

lies cajoled

I could have been great

the size of a thought,

dripping in voids

in needs of us all

from seeds

of timepassing

sought I could have been great but now

i am not


50/128

her friend, her husband

I like to think I do not hate hera Christian man,

heart so bound

in Galatians, John, St. Augustine

was on his knees, an artful proof

begging grace,

cursing youth

I like to think she will remain

in hands, Gods,

road to zion

travels though, alone, unearthed

she digs a grave

steep

like mountains

point to peak

A son, husband, job,friendshe will deceive

believe her eyes

for now, in sex, muscles

drown,

deep sweat

a wager's soul

wager's debt

I like to think she will be foundout, that is

For her sake and

her son, that bent at breast

now the toy of restless

throbs

and wet, used skin

I like to think shell love again


51/128

when love is youth

What slithering deseption

Lies he told

steel your youth, hes drunk

unfold

with bitter

sweet need

animosity

I want to hate

loves complexity

an adolescent after effect

insecurity, smudged

mystery

I want anger

burn,

growl

but human nature

for death is vowed

to love

the point,

that is our truth

Love is lies when love is youth


52/128

think like human

I thinkshe thinks

like a human

I think like a human

we

think shrink-wrapped

in air tight we think alone alike


53/128

Halli, work of art

Halli, said

what a amazing day

on text

it's hailing

gray

the pressure of the atmosphere

I picture her

in a frame

Looking from windows,

reading a book

a slight chill from

thunder,

Starting at the lower

Arc of her spine

bringing forth

Peace, from weather

wine

atmosphere

biometric air compressed

effecting chemistry

reads Plato


54/128

I imagine,

or a hundred years

What pain endured

What truth we fear

for perfect days

windows reveal

the hidden plan

The skill

Of man's

Father, maker

proven hand

undertaker

Halli, as we walk,

a house

peeks inside, I stare

She sees

the books, on shelves

De-constructs

dreams, We tell

Try to listen

look - See She, the makers art in me


55/128

pure

She makes me think

observe, dissect

interwoven mesh, of belief

so tied

To youth

insecure she makes me think Im new

pure


56/128

We walked in oak cliff

We walked in oak cliffDown a street, Rosemount I believe

a house, a dream

we released this home

It breathes,now

underneath

plastic, siding

we conceive

a life, a child

Thats her room

she could play

My studio

With windows

build

a entry way

windowsthe kind that stick

and resist Your fist on the frame

But life exists

In wood floors

A scratch, on buffet

what stories they tell

what treasures in age


57/128

Always afraidIm always scared,

Im always at guardmy heart, from pain

skin from scar

shes always in arms,

but given to such

Need to love

passion to clutch

true, unchained

naked, ashamed

were both afraid

we count up the gain

the loss, the fuel

To carry us there

in creations direction

distance, fare

We drag on the castlestilts on wheels, slaved

afraid

dreading the kill

always scared,

bandaging scars

always afraid always so far


58/128

Skin

Skin,light from the window of west

God give patience,

for what I endure

her sex is the window

light, that pours

for and from

the light of south, her naked

Sworn,

purity in dress

sweet, curious,

ethereal

caress - The light,

how it turns

Shadows

EmbraceThe deep and curve

The intricate space

Light

in the valley, Shadow,

mid-tones

grasping the skin

Hiding the bones

of youWhere you began

Inside from out

Outside, in

- We are but machines

spirit, contains Organic in nature

From west window pane


59/128

on Painful throne

We make plans, conspiracies

To capture, Lovers lies

we want a stand, seal proof

escape pricking tongues of youth

Lies, invincible dread

surly we all agree,

ten commandments

truth concede

in swallowed regions

we confirm

Most in love

we discern

making plans, then tear to shreds

innocent

Hopeful, bless

the soul, who dressed in stone

sets the truth on painful throne


60/128

Adam's Apple

What were you thinking,

that night

Do you not remember,

have no sight

Of kindness

youth,

sensitivities

dark rooms where you became of me

To joke of things,

under sheets

As if the years,

void, complete

wrapped up in,

a iron shield

have you no heart to yield

For other men,

theyre atmosphere

You thought,

Id laugh, or would I fear


61/128

Equate

Size

Width

Strength

Was that the proof of years? You think?

To finally come to flesh,

the end

of insecure

defense of sin

I thought of what you said that night

No shame,

in your

passage right

then Adam took fruit from tree

unpure he felt alive and free


62/128

This Empty page

This Empty page - Empty for you

call forth the text,

declare the muse

the flowing,

blossom,

our life on page

neighborhood quest,

or passion's rage

Shape, mine, hew, define

my work a life for you: design!


63/128

I will be the one

I will be the one, silver hair

I brush from

cheek,

I pull it back

behind,

and bind

when fragile bones

decline

request from muscles nerve

I will be the one to serve

to wash between, rinse

shoulder

blades

pour warm water

dress

and bless

your humble

- ness


64/128

from root of waters source

I will be the cleansing force

To bring, (breath) life

to yellowed

page

in poetry

your verse

converse

when vision finds

the curse

when you've seen, too much

I will be the guiding touch

I will be the one, when stories

you tell

again

I listen in first

ears

fresh tears

and smiles refined

by years


65/128

constructing new theory still

I will be the one to heal

I will be the one, the end

sight

you see

while leaving this

bed

Time fed

blood of the soul

red

coursing through maze complete

I will be the one

- at your feet


66/128

a wager

If she,

a wager

odds are mine

a chance worthy bet

that love may not be lifes regret


67/128

We're Manic

Were Manic.

Depression?

Still in question

Not for me

My mother knows, I sleep, in shoes

dirty clotheswith lithium

bottles

strewn

I chain myself

in workingpanic

Shes Manic

She talks at speed

too fast forGods

Prayer to read

Excited, beyond

the force - Indeed

were manic compulsively free


68/128

Funnier

Shes Funnier than me

her witis cleaver cutting sly Shes funnier

seriously she must die!


69/128

A woman's breast

Her breast they weigh

on thin blouse - flush

no restraintagainst the shoulder - brush

a gentlemans heart, breath

(thus)

a womans breast were born to Trust


70/128

too much wine

I drink

way too much wine

today

I woke up

with,

a cork - in my mouthI pulled it out

smelt the end too young corked it again


71/128

Math: we are three

We are

Two

But whole, in

Three

trusting

One

mathematically

fractionof

Percent of time

Divided by

subtracted

lies

Truth, fate

we

calculatethe root the square and compensate


72/128


73/128

Pointers point: jokes on me

I laughed with balls yesterday

Im not sure why, or what it

was

That was, to cause convulsive

chuckles, I think my eyes

tear-ed

was queer, about toe nails Im

Sure, but she said something

sharp

from dark she throws, the subtle

wit, moves swift from forest for

kill

I will, write it down next time

on a matchbook, or dial it in

Texton insect's back, or my hand

Its prime material, rivals TV


74/128

But see, she has no control

when her jest will spring on

jest

Ill test her memory tomorrow

See if she knows, this mystery

slam

I am - sure it was a pointy tongue

shes at her best turning point to

pointer

wanting her, to do it again, from

scripted jousting with cuts and

rubs

in of, its self, her bearish fun

would not exists, not alone, she

depends

again, on pointers point, aimed

at her, she has a motive, stealing

your inertia

Cinderellas shoes fit nice, her feet

when shes pointing the point;

jokes on me


75/128

I do escape

Creation

way of creativity

Some how - strange

I feel

Destroys In me

surrounding

Peace

Those, strong hold (friends)

when

I feel creative - fear

The end

First:

let me explain

of Time

my Time

Relation to

the object and the turn

Return (trade)

My youth

truth is;

I do escape


76/128

from this dimension

indulge (hate)

Fantasy

Love, but real

Love,

has a number

ticket, stub

still, to the point

creative sparks

must retain

the lonely

dark Spark known - (seen)

contrasting

only shown when darkness known


77/128

Elixir : revisited

elixir

bend to kiss her

- wine goblet, skin elixir medicine


78/128

in private space

The things

little things

I can adore

keep me wanting

to

reach a shore

of you,

a ending place

beginning door

through

a key hole

climb

see you traced in life in private space


79/128

green

The light was green

I sat, clutching gear

the cars impatient

the color unclear

Ive know such sad

thought, and fear

this is different

real and severe

When sadness evolves

alone, without haste

you no longer hidetears without taste

proof that its come

Plateau to new ground

Sadness requires

no face and no crown

No person to knowsee quivering chin

sadness matures

to sadness within

finally blossoms

reveals hidden space

colors uncertain tears without taste


80/128

Father's son

Im a father

A fathers son

A fathers father Fathers son


81/128

my poetry defined

Poetry

more than verse

It seems to me

a shape

reversed, on white

pulp, inversed

tight on loose form use - torn

from subject, tobalance

In

a Visual truth

youth

connect

the lines

erect

refinesooth poetry

a powerless rage

projected on a empty page


82/128

unknowing

unknowing she knows me

unraveling slowly

Bandages binding

constricting the wind

cooling the sun fall

red orange and royal

fields that Ive dreamt

but never within

unknowing she greets me

a bow and curtsy

with king purple robe

and crown for my head

in lavender oil

washes the toiled

brow and in honor lays in my bed


83/128

unknowing she holds me

closer than earthly

skin drapes the structure

of bones in a man

rending the fable

holding me stable

knowing she loves the fool that I am


84/128

cardboard castles

Ive looked for you all of my life

from sights first wonder, newness of light

in secret meetings of shadow time

beneath a dreams painful decline

To decades loss, needless stain

I sought you in each drop of rain

In suns descent for dimming shade

life at harbor, hearts at rage

in cardboard castles, child escape

kingdom chairs, blankets drape

in lust release, vice contained

in fire a guilty soul sustains

I looked for you there, and would I still

If ours, a order fate couldnt fill

Id peer from death - grip of the slave -

look for you there, even the grave


85/128

without walls

we are a fortress without walls

worn stones of weather round

gates from hinge torn down

solders bend to love's resolve

we are a fortress without walls


86/128

My precious idol

My precious Idol

I hold you closer than skin

in the dark

this night

I could have revealed you in time

but would I, I wish you were

revealed, that is

youve brought me to knees

slaved me to sin

each breath and each prayer

each morning

leaving

returning,

how slow your soft touch across my chest

the speed of a decade

crossing my breast

and then I am

as u are

master to slave

slave to will my hideous crime


87/128

My hunger, filled

to hide

dissolve

blur and cave

those places of truth

where precious God made

I dream-t you engrave-n

rounding my neck

feeling the weight

constricting loop

in ocean of sleep

descending the wake

through blue waters falling

to dark waters deep


88/128

Time is a sausage

Time is a sausage

That's what he said

Im quit fond of sausage,

He wasnt joking

time is a sausage

Drinking wine

smoking

outside

the frogs, the damn frogs

are they in the sausage

bulging at ends

connected and held by motion of skin

forced up ,

tight from the link

That's where Christ shines

defines

a moment I think

creating and ending the pressure of years

centuries past motherless tears

sexual perversions

marital bliss


89/128

snowflakes on windows dissolve in a kiss

That is the sausage

-I ponder a drink -

but separate in wonders

glorious link!

Holding to gather

but, dividing the shore

this one from that

beginning and more

Im quiet fond of sausage

the frogs and the wine

the place of my chair

its place in this time

carbon base life

a table for two

bursting with atoms

following you

until the end

-another drink-

puff

smoke


90/128

when God of creation

great words he spoke

will close up the book

time to a end

of sausage, frogs wine with a friend.


91/128

Cupid's Grudge

I feel sorry for you

cupid had a grudge

and gave your love to me

he must have had a bad day

too many broken hearts

on the Richter scale

he woke up tired (hung over)

and sailed to Dallas

Oak cliff, to a little house

-top floor

snuck in quietly

disturbing the door

He heard your prayers

in empty rooms

he had a grudge

and made a chore of your love

soon he convinced and prodded you - to

my place of negative space

empty and void, but charming

my face, kind

Its a defensive smile


92/128


93/128

He had a grudge

the evil fairy

but no one can stop the arrows thrust

when we love we simply must


94/128

science of skin

Come lay here beside me

let me feel the unfathomed complexity

of Gods creation,

under weight of my arms,

the heat and cool dexterity

of flesh,

let me gently abate

fear within,

entwine in healing

science of skin


close as bodies of mass combine

in small quarters,


displace particle's time

in motion,

re-think and debate

theory of space,

confine me a endless

pallet to taste


95/128


Let me marvel at artful objects

in creators hand,


the vein that constricts

to expand,

the eyes that dilate

for night,

blood beating heart

for passion of sight


dust of the earth in the gardens

of man,


molecules move for the pardon

of mass,

lungs forming shape

deep within, breathing Gods grace

the science of skin


96/128

love of war

My love is a ancient raw blood of war

man's scull crushing under hammer, sword

for your honor, purity, unblemished flesh

stained, brutality, pain and death

to prove, and claim your heart, and soul,

on battle field, steel blade cold

My dream as modern man (concealed)

to give no mercy, no life i yield

in animal roar, of masculine speed

bring forth the weapon, split forth the seam

with no fear, but age, blood on cage

animal beating heart of rage

on fields where man meets face of manripping flesh and daring stand

ancient, historic, primal, core

My love is a ancient raw blood of war


97/128

Edens grave

Have I lived so long in Edens grave

and never felt the ocean's wave

or touched the silken butterfly

who dances for the childrens eye

Colors more than sight allows

have I embraced those burning clouds

ending days in appetite

for stars in heaven's pride of night

did I live so long and never taste

snow - so shyly kissing the faceaimless, white melodies

clothes for barren naked trees

do I listen what the rivers say

theyre wisdom of a thousand days

winding from a mountains height

against the stone's endless fight

A scissor tail, robin's nest

did I hear the song so curious

Have I lived at all - have I lived a day

Have I lived so long in Edens grave


98/128

This world

I'd offer this world

if worlds I could hold

Build you a fortress

with immortal gold

rid the sun

of power and ageorbit the stars

around you, engage

opposite poles

gravitie's might

to float on a cloud

of endless delight

tame the lion

beast of field

bow him before

your knees, he would yield

as your protector

of heart and of smile

walking beside your

every mile

I'd chart 7 oceans and gather to one

a island of plenty


99/128

to bask in the sun

where berries so sweet

grow forth everyday

after a meal

the eagles would play

I'd dress them as generals

four stars on they're chest

and after a laughyou'd lay for a rest

Robins would carry you

without a sound

to squirrels that burry

your dreams in the ground

planting the seed

stretching, a vine

breaking the earth

with fruit of your mind

and under the shade

I'd fashion a ring

from silvery fish

born of the stream

then humble my pride

bough on my knee

offer this world you've given to me


100/128

a possession of stars

so cherished you are

a possession of stars

the galaxy's mass

confined in my heart

so cherished the pride

a sky open wide

folds in a pocket

soft in my side

So cherished the bliss

a ocean's abyss

weight of the deep

contained in a kiss

so cherished the night

all mountains of height

bend over trees

witness the sight

so cherished you are

possession of stars

the galaxy's vast space in my heart


101/128

part 1: Celebration of the wedding bed!

I sit this night

glorious night

one a.m.

ponder, turn

look , your bed

my bed

our bed - to be

sheets, pillow

I dream

red

stand by the angels

protecting the dresser

with a glass

red wine

my last night

confess there

in roomsmy heart

holding (past)

in arms

alone no more

your bed

our bed


102/128

much more

though.

some may say

a mans desire

mortal - flesh

but not so

your bed - our beda kingdom

my castle, flowing.

to know - that is desire;

its center

known

and found.

as we glance, peculiar

in Edens crown

naked, trace

the thread of passion

from dust to rib

to other halves

in pain

we live for love what greater deed sacrifice


103/128

fight canes seed

Abels right

the blind escaping

un righteous night

consumed we are

in rooms will be

and are

newly clothed

HE celebrates

sees not past

nor secret place

but Christ and spirit O God of grace


104/128

Crest and Trough

Love was the wind upon the ocean

The crest high and trough low

we the wave in lovers tow


105/128

I disappear

I loose my self

in myself

and fear

often times

I disappear

not always soas youth

as man

young the heart

i still could stand

outside gates

in every core

but weak

I hide now

close the door

peer out through

the looming night

see the man

who sits outside

empty of

his other part

hiding in


106/128

the lonely heart

I loose my self

and then I fear

you've lost a part

of me

in tears

one drop containing

each a piece

of what you thought

your love would be

I fail

I will, be lost sometimes

gone in fancies

of my crime

penance for

and from the slave

I am now, lost

in other days

I fear

too often

worry much

ten million thoughts

I can not clutch


107/128

like a fighter

seeing three

head shot punch

witch one is me

I loose myself

myself I fear

will loose you when I disappear


108/128

eternal ocean

my heart - in pieces

Over your place

Of refuge

- No more

shame

I know what its like

You never will

It is my art

A youthful skill

To dredge the suet under weight

Of water

(fate)

God - death

sin, father

Its pain, But still

Were charged

Naked - from God

remembered will

Impressions

on clay, We are


109/128

Remember

Birth, grave and scare

Cold like Decembers Taste

on feet

on floor

O warmth - skin

dream no more

I know loneliness

more than you must

Like freedoms curse

and poison lust

I know the dark room

The wish for arms

brushing my breast

doing no harm

in synchronized wars

of will

together separate thoughtful, still

Of -

the intriguing

space (someone dreaming of your face)


110/128

for nights of passion

All is told,

secret rations

slow, unfold

in arms that will

not hope for more

than fill,

endurestand Eternal Ocean - shifting shore


111/128

oath

An oath I have made that I can not keep

as Christ loved the church

{you lay asleep}

I ponder grace, mercys grand

Weight of sacrificial lamb

emptied glory, servant poor

for riches reaching every shore

an oath I made, thus, covenant

to rip the purse, completely spent

all of me, the known and dreamed

he gave his life, and lived for me

though he was rich becoming poor

I ponder this (for this once more)

glory restrained, for malice, pain,

Humility for sinners gain

loving un-lovely, making true

even the grave he humbled to

baring all, curse and stain, the wrath

for man and womans shame

becomes the bull on alters red

he had no place to lay his head

bending low, with every blow

he took on flesh, so they may know


112/128

By his will, he walks in love

divinity - the cross above

on his shoulders, the oceans weight

of drowning mans wicked fate

this by mercy, not forced unto

to show the world what love will do

an oath I have made (before his face)

I can not keep - God give me grace


113/128

suffer me

tired, so tired, no rest I gain

from mornings, nights, teasing rain

grey cool skys. dirt and sea

tired of life, it's tired of me

she - (nature), mothers land

feed me stones from ivory hands

she grieves my breath, my hungry sigh

the day of birth, the day we die

tired i sleep, sleep I wake

drunk'n fools for blessed fatememories - (the torche's flame)

burning up our Christan name

tired and low, beneath i am

the youthful hope to understand

yesterday's, future glimpse

history's, present tense

today, tomorrow, now, then

we build the gallows - noose we're in

tired, so tired, in unbelief

waking life, why suffer me?


114/128

I Perish

I perish

not by sword or steel

I perish

each moment that I feel

I perish

damn unyielding flood

I perish wounding crutch of love


115/128

medicine medicine

grant me gracewalking through

this ghost of faith

burn the edge

of my desire

numb the burn

red of fire

medicine

my dullest friend

let me wake

and sleep again

blur my fate

bring me low

humble quiet

liquid soul

medicine

dream no more

search not of

look not for


116/128

passion's gate

deep within

dreams will float

a lake of sin

medicine

oh life unsure blurring days

a quiet cure

yes I thought

more in youth

now a lie

blessed truth

medicine

your will is mine

live between

space of time bring me forth heaven's gate

lacking love's

forgiven hate


117/128

Judgment

Judgment ,

this I fear

God's hand,

wrath of years

a thought,

whisper,

turn of fate

Karma ends,

but God will wait

This I fear,

and tremble through

God is love,

but hatred too

last night,

the other,

a thousand more

how long O Grace,

will you endure?

shake the temple

rattle gates

God is love


118/128

and perfect hate

I have no blame

blame is mine

judgment day

naked shrine

I fear,

alone and dustjudgment come

for judgment must

let the weight

on shoulders hang

not on my back

not in my vein

I can not pay

just deserve

the longest day

i can not hurt

enough

no pain

no shackles strong,

can hold me for my sin, too long


119/128

all I had

She's all I had

I called her twice

all I knew, my only vice

this night was cold

but still to come

frosty mist

melting sun

butterflies

flower's bud

winter days

white as mud

She's all I had

I watched a bird

panic flying

where? (I shrug)

a feast of loss

I drink to love

she's all I had here and above


120/128

This too I Recall

This too I recall, glancing behind

selfish I drank a good part of wine

our zucchini was big, it ate all the rest

a joke, the tomatoes bulging flesh

this to I remember, angry the day

christ was born, or so we say

I took a guitar, rusty the strings

sang like a squirrel, fell on my knees

I remember it well, moist of eyes

ladybug dancing, bathing your thighs

in milk and salt, blood of grape

quenched my thirst intwining fate

the job, the girl - talking machine

the quiet of angels, porcelain queens

set all around me, praying as such

why they pray, having so much

This too I recall, glancing behind

selfish I came, in haste did we dinein haste, great forcers. passion, love

fate predestined like noah, his dove

this too I recall, glancing behind

love is a moment, fighting in time

great is your flesh, but more is your kind

heart and in this, I rest and recline


121/128

Let them sleep

So then Death what will you offer?

Life what profit give to me?

Profit? soul! you selfish scoffer

Riches share you here to be?

Glass of eye, seek your answer

by the breath I give and share

grip your wisdom pose and dance her

questions me with sound of air?

Death engage this vital storm

will in silence thus behave?

sting the tongue, you jagged thorn

Lift your chalice from the grave!

Laughter, oh , I love it so

comedy by tears is much

truth in secret, precious gold

what men venture forth to touch


122/128

Ask me fool, require my time

beat your chest and pull your hair

bring it forth, all that is mine

give it me, that which I spare

Death, my void of conscious will

what sword of blood will you deploy

be you brave or be you still?

fainting weak, and then destroy?

Yield! you son of memory

release your shoulder from the weight

ask the blade why do you bleed?

inquire of providence your fate?

Yield, I yield, my quite soul

leave me to this thin despair

there I find you death so old

Life the youth that didn't care


123/128

Predictable! you do agree?

Life: surprise, I long to touch

Death: to think he questioned me!

man: I thought I knew so much

Yield my soul! Spirt flee!

Escape by holes of hollow sight!

Where my master? I believe

The flesh is shallow for it's height

I do not care why question now

escape the night, we haven't time

but night is full, completely round

without a star or spark or shine

Life: I know they need so much

frail the skin that holds the soul

Death: I long the warm to touch

let them sleep and never know


124/128

My daughter, my Queen

My daughter, my Queen

as Solomon said, you are above

the crown on my head

from rubble and stone

gates for a throneQueen, daughter, Queen

mysterious home

of pride and lust

forgive me intrust

not what man will give

but take what you must

Power you wield

no doubt in my vein

the blood that is cold

in warmth you will claim

what is your position

with faith as a seed

man whose fruition

is boasting to bleed

my Queen my throne

thorn in my head

blessed of water

ancient we shed


125/128

blackened cough

scares in the skin

Queen have you paid

too much for a sin

remember the garden

fruit of the sun

you offered me there

a kingdom undonenaked your breast

no temple of shame

I took of your fruit

gave you my name

Queen prophetic

knowing us so

Why you embrace

our invisible soul

sure, God willed

or something the same

man of the dust

woman the rain

Queen of a temple

so Godless, until

Queen, oh my daughter your blossom would heal


126/128

My Comfortable Fear

welcome my son I've known you so long

your bright morning peace theology song

I've know you in birth, in hope of a year

i held you a child and old in your fear

welcome, invite your innocent painlet me seduce the love of your vein

my child my son no earth could reduce

your peace, it from, untangle youth

I've know you so long, in this i have pride

always mine, your invincible side

for me it was food when you were so weak

my words were the years waiting to speak

breath my child, breath, let me taste

the spirit of life, and life of the haste

welcome, endure what i will contain

a meaningful birth and thoughts of the rain

my son, my heart, i knew you so well

death is my name and life is the spell

welcome my pardon, sleep in the dead

peaceful the night we lay in my bed

when all that is thought, pondered upon


127/128

becomes what you are, solid a song

to sing for a moment, it must be so right

darkness of morning, morning of night

then, my son, you limited breath

your ripe and conceive the flower of death

my name and soul, i wish you the same

cold in your flesh , peace, i contain

no skin, though a point, famous in name

for passion witch I live and will claim

regard me as not, elusive, a dream

I am a truth, as hope is a scheme

touch me and feel the power of day

skates and school, red marmalade

I'm life, death, all in the same

I bring you forth, in memory's fame

so resist, fuss, turn in your grave

deny me the fuel to jest and behave

as I must, my son, my dear

simply entrust, my comfortable fear.


128/128

Ocean : Preview

This a ocean

restless waves

we both shall roll

up the curve

down in motion

turn about

before we cave

call her dove for purity

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