c2c:workplace communication and influence -...

C2C:Workplace Communication and Influence

O H D C C T e a c h e r s C o l l e g e , C o l u m b i a U n i v e r s i t y

What is this session about?

YOU

ME

Getting your message across

What do effective communicators do? How do they keep your attention?

Effective vs. Ineffective Communicators – Part I

Effective vs. Ineffective Communicators – Part II

What do ineffective communicators do? How do they lose your attention?

The Three Elements of Communication

You

Credibility Self-confidence

Presence


You Message

Content and benefits of

the message


Presence


You Your Audience

Message

Content and benefits of

the message

Your ability to diagnose others, empathize and

adjust


Presence

Not Known To You

Public Life

Secrets

Blind Spots

Unconscious

Known To You

Unknown By Others

Known to Others

Johari Window

We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.

Culture

Socio-economic Status Gender

Education

Life Experience

Thinking Preferences

Worldview

Our Worldview

Culture

Socio-economic Status Gender

Education

Life Experience

Thinking Preferences

Worldview

Let’s consider one of these lenses….

Lef t Hemisphere Sequential Analytical

Verbal Logical

Looks at Parts

Preferences: Counting / Measuring

Present and Past Grammar

R ight Hemisphere Simultaneous

Holistic Imagistic Intuitive

Looks at Wholes

Preferences: Shapes / Motion

Present and Future Intonation / Emphasis

Left Side vs. Right Side

What are Brain Preferences?

Brain Preferences reflect the extent to which an individual prefers certain types of thinking / mental processes over other types of thinking / mental preferences.

Brain Preferences do not equal skills. We might have highly developed skills outside our brain preferences.

Curious Imaginative Visionary

Risk Taker Creative Intuitive

Simultaneous Challenges Status Quo Big Picture

Empathizer & Socializer

Strategist & Imaginer

Organizer & Preserver

Realist & Analyst

Clear Realistic Logical

Performance Goals Bottom-line

Concrete Rational Objective

Orderly Reliable Neat

Organized Systematic Methodical

Punctual Detail-Oriented Habitual

Sociable Approachable Perceptive

Expressive Relational Supportive

Harmony Affectionate Loyal

Brain Preferences – The Model

R2 L2

R1







Realist & Analyst










Brain Preferences – Qualities that Define Each Quadrant

Properties of L1

What is the point?

What does this mean?

What is the objective?

In accordance with planned objectives/ goals

Based upon accurate information and data

Definitively

Performance

Sensible rationale

Succinct information (data/ facts)

Liking to be right

Liking things to be clear

Drawing conclusions

Clear / Sensible / Accurate

Coherent / Calculating / Probing

Goals

Performance

Bottom-line

Usually Asks Values Oriented Towards

Decision Preference Known For Communication Preference

R2 L2







Realist & Analyst











Properties of R1



Why not?

What if?

Can we try?

Freedom to experiment

Ability to take risks

Challenging the status-quo

Future

Ideas

Big picture

Challenging / Visionary / Imaginative

Filled with metaphors/images

Synthesizing ideas

Being unconventional

Experimenting

Taking risks

Imagination

According to future possibilities

At the conceptual level

Instinctively







Realist & Analyst











Properties of L2



How should we do it?

What is the plan?

What should be done first?

Consistency & Efficiency

Punctuality

Quality & Thoroughness

On time

An excellent implementer

Well organized

Focused on the process

Correct / Prepared

Detailed / Planned / Systematic

Process

Details

Routine

Relevant information and data

Structured process

Thoroughly and when well-informed







Realist & Analyst











Properties of R2



How does everyone feel about that?

Who will be involved?

Who will be effected?

Quality of relationships

Interpersonal connections

Mood and sentiment

Loyalty / Harmony

Relationships

People

Feelings

Encouraging / Understanding

Emotionally Expressive / Meaningful / Frequent

Understanding others’ perspective

Comfortable with multiple realities

Connecting with others

After considering the best interests of those

involved

Based on what feels right

With consensus

Self Assessment Activity

Self Assessment Activity

Read the descriptions on ‘Brain Preferences’ in the handout. Which brain preference is most descriptive of you?

You may also rank the others in terms of which are more / less descriptive of you.

Group Activity

Flip Chart Activity

Spend 15 minutes creating a flip chart that includes:

!  Some strengths of your preference & a few pitfalls

!  Some ways in which you could be misunderstood or stereotyped

!  Define how you like and dislike people to communicate with you

The Million Dollar Question

How can you determine which “preferences” someone has when you haven’t had much contact with them?

The Million Dollar Question

What should you do if you haven’t ever communicated with them before?

Reactive Proactive

Who?

Why?

How?

What?

Questions Defining Each Quadrant

Application

Case

Skills Practice

Who?

Why?

How?

What?

Tips – How to communicate with each style

Communication Style: Short and to the point – what’s the

bottom line?

Logic, facts, figures (but not too much detail)

Communication Style: Just the facts.

Present data in an organized way.

Make sure that you have all of the data and details that they need.

Communication Style: They want to know the “big picture”.

Why?

Like to talk about, and hear, possibilities and long term impact.

Communication Style: Address the relationship before the

task. “Hi Joe”

Like to consider the impact decisions have on people.

Skills Practice

In your preference groups:

!  Read the scenarios individually !  In groups of 2 or 3, prepare for the role of

Kelly. Strategize as to how you will approach the conversation with Pat – what you will say and how you will say it – in order to match the Pat’s style.

!  Pat’s style will be the opposite of your own. !  Role play instructions…

Influencing

Interests and Positions

Ice Breaker

Push vs Pull

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Warm Up Exercise

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Instructions

Form Pairs, stand opposite each other. Pen between

Goal !  Get the other person on your side of the line

Rules !  No body contact !  You will have 60 seconds !  Talking permitted

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Relationship !  Long-term vs. Short-term !  Role of Trust

Mindset and Assumptions !  Collaborative vs. Competitive !  Proactive vs. Reactive !  “Fixed Pie” vs. “Expandable Pie”

Exercise Lessons

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Group Exercise Debrief

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What does it mean to Influence?

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Harvard Negotiation Project

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Substance/Relationship Tension

Sub

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Relationship

Strategic Influence

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Dual Concerns Model

Con

cern

for S

elf

Concern for Others

Avoiding

Compromising

Accommodating

Collaborating Competing

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Review the Kelly/Pat scenario

In groups of 2/3, Prepare for the role of Kelly

Prepare together for the role of Pat

Have the Conversation !  Kelly: do your best

!  Pat: be realistically difficult

Deadline Dilemma

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Definition

!  What parties really care about (desires, concerns)

!  Underlying factors motivating each party

!  Positions are the “what” (often demands) Interests are the “why” (reasons for Positions)

Interests and Positions

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Reframe: Positions and Interests

Position A Position B

Reframe: How can we meet your needs

for X while at the same time meet my needs

for Y?

SOLUTIONS

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PUSH: Tell people what we think, and try to persuade them by giving reasons and information which are convincing.

PULL: Seek and emphasize areas of common ground and agreement. This requires first understanding the other’s position/interests and talking to those interests.

Communication Tactics - Push and Pull

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•  Talking about facts and targets

•  Giving opinions and judgements

•  Promoting a point of view •  Going against the other’s

perceptions

Push Pull •  Asking about priorities and

needs •  Sharing a perspective which

links to the other’s interests •  Interest in the other’s

perceptions and emotions •  Empathy •  Transparency •  Asking the other to explain

themselves and/or give examples

•  Inviting new ideas

Push and Pull – The Skills

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PUSH and PULL - Pitfalls

•  Push styles can be effective in achieving compliance but may not achieve commitment.

•  Not everyone likes being told what to do.

•  People can become dependent and unimaginative or they may fight back (sometimes covertly).

•  Requires credibility. Fails if there is a conflict of interest.

Push •  Insincere pull styles can be

seen as manipulative and dishonest.

•  Must lead to a “reframe” that expresses shared values to be effective.

•  Can be more time consuming and uses more emotional and physical energy.

Pull

Push and Pull - Pitfalls

Video Activity Diagnosis

Watch the following video clips.

1.  What are the characters’ NBI types?

2.  Are they Pushing, Pulling or both?

Discuss in small groups. Explain why you diagnosed them the way you did.

Video Activity Diagnosis

Question and Answers

JD Lanigan

More at http://www.performanceconsultinginternational.com

J.D is a global master trainer and senior partner at Performance Consulting International.

He is a motivational speaker who specializes in coaching individuals to communicate clearly and effectively and deliver strong & memorable presentations.

He holds a masters degree in organizational psychology from Columbia University and is certified to administer various coaching assessment instruments, including ECI (emotional intelligence) 360, PDI's Profilor 360, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and FIRO-B.

Areas of Expertise: Coaching, Communication and Presentation Skills training, Team Development and Group Dynamics

c2c:workplace communication and influence -...

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