Born with a spiritual thirstleft unquenched by therigid, legalistic dogma ofthe Catholic Church of

his childhood; left spirituallystarved by a manipulative, atten-tion-seeking Indian guru; andscarred by the dissolution of a 34-year marriage, Carlos Santana’s turbulent search for God nearly

ended in suicide. Seven times. Itwas only through acceptance ofGod’s grace that his life was sparedand his spiritual hunger finally satiated.

Santana came to the realizationthat his life was in the hands of God,not his own. But in order to over-come the stranglehold of his past, hehad to swim through a cesspool of

horror—his father’s aban-donment of his family, thefriend’s father who molest-ed him and the guilt fromhis Catholic upbringing.Santana truly understoodthat “you have to go throughthe darkest night of the soulto get to the brightest light of the day.”

6 THE PLAIN TRUTH

Mexican-American rock guitarist Carlos Santana has won ten Grammy Awards—and was named number15 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time. He was inducted into the HollywoodWalk of Fame in 1997, receiving a star on Hollywood Blvd. In 1998 he was inducted into the Rock and RollHall of Fame. Patrick Durek, in an exclusive for Plain Truth, reveals the critically important spiritualdimension in Santana’s life.

—the Editors

by Patrick Durek

A Childhood of Demons

Born in Autlán de Navarro,a seaside village in thesouthwestern Mexican stateof Jalisco, Carlos Santanawas swathed in the soundsof music from birth. His father, a mariachi violinist,fed his family with incomeearned as a musician. Butin the early 1950s, San-tana’s father deserted hisfamily, movingwith his newgirlfriend to themetropolis ofTijuana, fewerthan

twenty miles from San Diego, Cali-fornia. Though he had sent hisabandoned wife support money,the children hadn’t seen their fa-ther in a while, and Santana’smother decided that it was time toreunite. In 1955, she put the kidsin the car and droveto the address that

she had thought was her hus-band’s. Upon knocking on thedoor, the family was screamed atand chased away by the girlfriend.Santana’s mother, in despair, stoodon the street weeping.

Santana described what fol-lowed: “There was this guy on the

Carlos Santana’s turbulent search forGod nearly ended in suicide. Seven

times. It was only through acceptance ofGod’s grace that his life was spared and

his spiritual hunger finally satiated.

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corner, this wino, who said, ‘Whatare you looking for?’ She said shewas looking for her husband, andshowed him a picture, and he said,‘Oh yeah, he’s in there.’ This is howGod works, you know, through thiswino, who told her to go backthere. She knocked again, and thislady comes out screaming again,but this time woke my dad up fromhis siesta.

“He stuck his head out, saw me, my six brothers and sisters,crammed into the station wagon,and his face turned like the NBCpeacock, all the colors, anger andjoy and fear and doubt. It was thetypical Mexican story….”

The father set his family up in alocal hotel, where the children andmother resided for several months.Although the estranged spousesdid not speak to each other, San-tana’s father bought them groceriesand paid the lodging costs. He alsotaught his young son how to play

violin, and he was soon earningmoney as a street musician. ButSantana hated the violin. Mean-while, his father had moved to SanFrancisco, followed shortly after byhis mother and the children. By agefifteen, Santana had transitioned toelectric guitar (made possible by agift from his father) and supportedhis family with income earned as aclub musician. Things were look-ing bright.

But during the time in Tijuana,something ominous happened. At

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From 1972 to 1981Santana and

Deborah followedthe Indian guru Sri

Chinmoy. Like manycultists, Chinmoy,who died in 2007,

would not permit aneasy exit, and he

used all his might toruin Santana.

Bob Dylan, Joan Baez,Carlos Santana, 1984

—Hamburg, Germany

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age ten, Santana was repeatedlymolested by a friend’s father, whosilenced him through bribes ofcandy and trinkets. The pe-dophile’s perpetrations of utterevil instilled grave fear and guiltin the boy; it would take God’sgrace to unburden his shoulders.Before he could see the light,however, he would enter evengreater darkness. Ironically, spiri-tual dusk descended as the dawnof his fame ascended.

FameIn an interview for CBS’s 60 Min-utes in 2002, Santana described hisexperience at Woodstock in 1969,where he was the surprise star ofthe legendary rock festival. San-tana recalls that he was so drug-addled that he was barely con-scious of the historic event: “Myguitar is like—like [an] electricsnake. So that’s why you see myface, you know, like making allthese ugly faces.… Intuitively I justsaid, ‘God, please help me. I’llnever do this again.’” He stressedthe horror of his hallucinations as

being “a very, very frightening ex-perience. I don’t recommend it toanybody.”

Santana, the Afro-Latin rockband was born, and numerous hitsingles, albums and world toursensued. In 1972, he married his

new love, Deborah. Fame and for-tune abounded, but he felt spiritu-ally parched. In search of answers,he found a man all-too-willing toprovide them: Sri Chinmoy.

Grip of the Guru From 1972 to 1981 Santana andDeborah followed the Indian guruSri Chinmoy. The New Age charla-tan Chinmoy renamed Santanaand his wife, and forced them to“prove” their devotion to him.Deborah told Chris Heath, in aMarch 16, 2000 issue of Rolling

Stone, that the guru devised con-tests to see which members couldsleep the least. He also pressuredher and Santana to run a 47-milerace. She did, but Santana refused.When Chinmoy devoted a meetingto bashing the purported lesbian-ism of tennis player Billie JeanKing, Santana had had enough,thinking, “Mind your own spiritualbusiness and leave her alone.” Hewalked out and never returned.

After leaving, Santana told

Rolling Stone about Chinmoy’s vin-dictiveness: “He told all my friendsnot to call me ever again, because Iwas to drown in the dark sea of ig-norance for leaving him.” Likemany cultists, Chinmoy, who diedin 2007, would not permit an easyexit, and he used all his might toruin Santana. But Santana was lib-erated from the guru’s tentacles,and Chinmoy rapidly sunk amidstreports that he sexually exploitedseveral female followers, and usedhis famous followers to generatefunds that he unethically harvest-ed for his personal financial gain.

Free from the guru, following thelead of his wife, Santana was bap-tized in Santa Cruz, California.Aaron Gallegos, in a January 1994article he wrote for Sojourners, at-tended Santana’s baptism, describ-ing his statement as “a heartful,soulful expression of deep devotion

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“I have crystallized all my religion intono religion—into spirituality. Religion is

designed to divide and separate;spirituality brings unity and forgiveness

and compassion.”

As Santana came to comprehend Christ,seeing his true teachings, not the

clouded distortions of the legalisticchurch, he came to appreciate the

uniqueness of grace.

“There were seven times,”Santana related in an October

16, 2008 interview withRolling Stone, “seven times

when suicide wasknocking. It got to the

point where I reallythought that death would be

sweeter than pain.

to Christ…rarely broached withinthe institutional church.”

Shattered Marriage and Near-SuicideBut the ceremony of baptism doesnot necessarily equal grace. BeforeSantana received grace, even dark-er clouds would enshroud him.Blessed with a strong, loving wifeand healthy children, Santana,

who spent a great deal of timeaway from home touring the worldwith his band, gave in to tempta-tions of the flesh. Female fansthrew themselves at him, and hisfidelity to his wife was broken.They separated, they reunited.Then, after 34 years of marriage,Deborah and Santana divorced.Both were crushed by the pain ofmarital dissolution.

“There were seven times,” San-tana related in an October 16, 2008interview with Rolling Stone, “seventimes when suicide was knocking.It got to the point where I reallythought that death would be sweet-er than pain. But each time I wouldgo light up a candle, and I’m stillhearing all this inner stuff, a thou-sand voices screaming at you, accusing you, like, ‘You’re the low-est, you’re not worthy of anythingor anyone around you.’ But then Iwould look at a picture of Jesus andsay, ‘Help me,’ and then, very clear-ly, inwardly, I would hear this onevoice that’s softer and louder thanall the others, and it would say, ‘I

Santana clawed his way out of a wretchedchildhood filled with abandonment, guilt

and even abuse—finding fortune andfame, adoration and accolades.

“Evil Ways“ is from Santana’s 1969 album. It was released as a singlein late 1969 — it became the band’s first top forty and top ten hit in

the U.S., peaking at #9 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart.

“Oye Como Va“ was popularized bySantana’s cover of the song in 1970 on

their album, Abraxas, helping to catapultSantana into stardom with the songreaching #13 on the Billboard Top 100.The song also reached #11 on Billboard’sEasy Listening survey and #32 on theirR&B chart. The first sentence is “Oye comova mi ritmo,” which literally means inSpanish, “Listen to how my rhythm goes.”

But the phrase “Oye como va” is interpreted colloquially as “Hey,how’s it going?”

“Black Magic Woman” became a classic hit in 1970, reaching #4on the Billboard Hot 100 in the U.S. and Canadian charts, after

appearing on their Abraxas album, which stayed at #1 for sixweeks. To date, this Grammy Hall of Fame album has sold morethan 5 million copies in the U.S.

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GREATEST HITSSANTANA’S

am sitting next to you. Isn’t thatenough?’ Once I heard that voice,something would shift, and I’d beable to find joy again….”

Through the “Darkest Night” intothe LightSantana opened his arms to divinegrace. The grace of God allowedhim to transcend his current painby releasing his childhood pain.For the first time in his life, hecontemplated the horrors of hisabuse, then forgave his molester.“My God is a God of kindness andcompassion, but we as people havefree will, including the man who

molested me,” he said in the sameRolling Stone interview. “I was ableto remove the anger by forgiving

that man…. Forgiveness, man, for-giveness is extremely liberating.And I’m here to tell you, with allmy heart and spirit, that it can bedone. You can be freed.” And thus

Santana cut the power that themolester had over him.

Santana has little use for legalis-tic religion. He has described theindoctrination of the CatholicChurch he grew up with as being“like branding a cow with guilt,shame, judgment, condemnation,and fear.…” He added, “I havecrystallized all my religion into noreligion—into spirituality. Religionis designed to divide and separate;

spirituality brings unity and for-giveness and compassion.”

Acceptance of God’s GraceAs Santana came to comprehend

But as his career climbed into thestratosphere, his spiritual health rapidly

declined into the pits of desolation.Neither money nor guru nor superficial

praise could quench his thirst.

The grace of God allowed him totranscend his current pain by releasinghis childhood pain. For the first time inhis life, he contemplated the horrors of

his abuse, then forgave his molester.

“Smooth,“ from Santana’s album Supernatural, is a collaborationbetween Santana and Rob Thomas (of the rock group Matchbox

Twenty). “Smooth” became a massive hit in 1999, spending twelveweeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 beginning October 12, 1999.The song won three Grammy Awards, including Record of the Year,Song of the Year and Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals. Accordingto Billboard’s Hottest Hot 100 Hits by Fred Bronson, this is thenumber-one song of The Nineties (2003).

“Guitar Heaven—The GreatestGuitar Classics of All Time” is

Santana’s latest recording project.The album features guestappearances by Chris Cornell, PatMonahan, Rob Thomas, ChrisDaughtry and Joe Cocker, to namea few.

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Christ, seeing his true teachings, notthe clouded distor-tions of the legalisticchurch, he came toappreciate the unique-ness of grace. “Godm a d e m e w o r t hsomething,” he oncesaid.

“But we’re not pro-grammed to thinklike this. Most peoplesquirm or interruptyou when you givethem a complimentbecause they think,‘I’m not worthy’ or‘It will go to myhead.’ Man, suck itup; be gracious andsay, ‘Thank you. I’mglad you enjoyed it.’Because when wewake up to the full-ness of the world, thefoundation beingspiritual principles,then we can see whatJesus wanted….”

Before concerts,Santana and his bandpray for fifteen min-utes, which he likensto a doctor washinghis hands before per-forming surgery. “Iwant to play musicthat’s kind of like celestial hymns.”

“Duke Ellington, before he died, hadthe B ib l e on onehand and shee tmusic on another,and he was doing sacred concerts.I’m just following the script that isgiven to me, and after a while youcan only do what you do. Then,God calls you to do somethingelse….”

Santana has talked of his plansto retire from music in 2015 to be-come a minister, using his God-given communication skills to helppeople “get unstuck” with difficultparts of the Bible.

But the future is in God’s hands.In the 2008 Rolling Stone interview,he articulated his humble accep-

tance of God’s plans: “But rightnow, I’m still with the dark nightof the soul. I’m still with the 40days and 40 nights. And I don’tknow how it’s going to unfold.There is no clock, no script. Whathappens happens on God’s time.But who am I to myself? That’s thequestion. I am a child of God, andGod is not done with me.”

For it is by grace you have beensaved, through faith—and this is notfrom yourselves, it is the gift of God(Ephesians 2:8).

Santana clawed his way out of a

wretched childhoodfilled with abandon-ment, guilt and evenabuse ; finding for-tune and fame, ado-ration and accolades.

But as his careercl imbed into thestratosphere, his spir-itual health rapidlydeclined into the pitsof desolation. Nei-ther money nor gurunor superficial praisecould quench histhirst. His spiritualdehydration nearlyled him to suicide—seven times. As herecognized, it wasonly God’s gracethrough Jesus Christtha t s aved h im.“Nothing is impossi-ble at this point,”Santana said in a2009 interview withBeat Week. “The onlything that we need todo is first accept thatthe only reality isGod’s love. Every-thing else is an illusion.” ❑

BIBLIOGRAPHY:Gallegos, Aaron. “When

Spirits Dance and Angels Fly:Carlos Santana weaves a mu-sician’s tale.” Sojourners(January, 1994).

Hamilton, Craig and Jessi-ca Roemischer. “The Uncom-promising Spiritual Passionand Positivity Of Carlos San-tana.” What Is Enlighten-ment (March-May, 2005).

Heath, Chris. “The EpicLife of Carlos Santana.”Rolling Stone (March 16,

2000).Hedegaard, Erik. “Carlos’ Cosmic Bummer.”

Rolling Stone (October 16, 2008).Kayceman. “Spirit Talk With Carlos San-

tana.” Jambase.com (November 8, 2007).Palmer, Bill. “Carlos Santana: Interview.”

Beat Week (April 7, 2009).“Santana’s Dramatic Comeback.” CBS 60

Minutes. (September 06, 2002).

Patrick S. Durek is a musician andmusic journalist who has written arti-cles for a variety of publications, including Classical Guitar Maga-zine, The Home News Tribune,IAWM Journal and Sequenza21. Hehas a keen interest in topics relatingto the overlap and cross pollination ofmusic, religion and culture.

12 THE PLAIN TRUTH

“The only thing that we needto do is first accept that the

only reality is God’s love.Everything else is an illusion.”