By JAY MORIARTY

© Copyright 1997, by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc.

PeRfORMAnCe LICenSe

The amateur acting rights to this play are controlled exclusively by PIOneeR DRAMA SeRVICe, InC., P.O. Box 4267, englewood, Colorado 80155, without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind may be given. On all programs and advertising this notice must appear: “Produced by special arrangement with PIOneeR DRAMA SeRVICe, InC., englewood, Colorado.”

copying or reproducing all or any part of this book in any manner is strictly forbidden by law.

All other rights in this play, including those of professional production, radio broadcasting and motion picture rights, are controlled by PIOneeR DRAMA SeRVICe, InC., to whom all inquiries should be addressed.

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Jingle bells JuryBy JAY MORIARTY

SYnOPSISThe action takes place in Candy Cane Court, located in the town of Candy Cane which is just south of Toyland.

The time is the present.

CAST Of CHARACTeRS (In Order of Speaking)

CAROLeR #1CAROLeR #2CAROLeR #3BAILIffJUDGe PfeffeRnUeSSeCLeRKPROSeCUTInG ATTORneYCITIZen #1CITIZen #2JIM DAnDYBAD KID #1BAD KID #2ROBeRTA eGGnOGMAGIC Of CHRISTMAS LeTTeR WRITeR #1LeTTeR WRITeR #2ReInDeeR-In-TRAInInGMOTHeRfATHeRSnOWTOY MAKeRAnGeLMRS. BOB CRATCHITTInY TIM

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WISe MAn #1WISe MAn #2WISe MAn #3SHePHeRDInnKeePeR’S WIfeSAnTA CLAUSOptional eXTRAS can be utilized as additional COURT SPeCTATORS, CAROLeRS, LeTTeR WRITeRS, ReInDeeR, and/or SHePHeRDS.

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Jingle bells Jury

PRIOR TO LIGHTS UP: We hear CHRISTMAS CAROLeRS (#1, #2, #3) singing in the darkness. Any well-known selection will do. for example, “Away in a Manger,” “We Three Kings of Orient Are,” “It Came upon a Midnight Clear,” etc.

CAROLeRS: (Singing.) Dashing through the snowIn a one-horse open sleigh,O’er the fields we go,Laughing all the way.Bells on bobtail ring,Making spirits bright.What fun it is to ride and singA sleighing song tonight!Jingle bells! Jingle bells!Jingle all the way!Oh, what fun it is to rideIn a one-horse open sleigh!Jingle bells! Jingle bells!Jingle all the way!Oh, what fun it is to rideIn a one-horse open sleigh!(At end of song the STAGE LIGHTS COME UP, we realize we’re in a courtroom. The CAROLERS stand DOWNSTAGE CENTER dressed for winter: caps, scarves, mittens, etc... They hold open songbooks. The CAROLING continues as long as it takes for various CHARACTERS to ENTER the courtroom and take positions. UP CENTER is a table and chair for the JUDGE. Witness chair is to the LEFT of the JUDGE’S table. RIGHT CENTER is a table with two chairs behind it, one for the COURT CLERK and the other for the PROSECUTING ATTORNEY. There’s another table with chair LEFT CENTER. STAGE RIGHT and STAGE LEFT, behind the tables, are chairs and/or benches for SPECTATORS. A couple of large, optional painted candy canes are somewhere in view, and perhaps a decorated Christmas tree. ENTRANCES are STAGE RIGHT for SPECTATORS and witnesses and STAGE LEFT for the official members of the court. During the caroling, BAD KID #1 and BAD KID #2 ENTER STAGE RIGHT, cross and sit STAGE LEFT. CITIZEN #1, CITIZEN #2 and SPECTATORS ENTER RIGHT and fill in the rest of the seats for SPECTATORS, except for two seats left empty in the RIGHT section. They’re in an excited mood. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY ENTERS LEFT and goes to his/her table. He carries a briefcase, sets it atop the table

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and takes out various papers and legal briefs. Sits. COURT CLERK also ENTERS LEFT and crosses to table, sits. He or she carries a large ledger and quill pen. The BAILIFF, a large badge on his shirt to denote he’s a court officer of sorts, ENTERS LEFT and stands DOWN LEFT. Handcuffs dangle from his belt. )

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) Candy Cane has never had a case like this.Shocking, that’s what it is.A scandal.Who would have thought it?Wherever did Jim Dandy get such an idea? (COURT CLERK produces a small bottle of ink and sets it by the ledger, in which he occasionally writes something as the trial progresses. BAILIFF checks his pocket watch, nods to himself signifying it’s time for the trial to commence. He calls out in a booming voice.)

BAILIff: Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! (CAROLERS scurry for seats, sit.) Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!

OTHeRS: Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!

BAILIff: The Candy Cane Court is now in session. Honorable Judge Pfeffernuesse presiding. All rise. (ALL rise. Pause. JUDGE PFEFFERNUESSE ENTERS from UP LEFT, steps behind his table. He wears a choir robe and might, for a comic touch, wear a judge’s white wig. He surveys the courtroom. He has a gavel and bangs it on the table or a wooden block. He sits.) All sit! (ALL except BAILIFF sit.)

JUDGe: (Indicates audience.) The jury has already been sworn in. The clerk will call the first case.

CLeRK: (Stands.) Docket number 3-0-3. Young Jim Dandy. (Sits.)

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) Young Jim Dandy. Wow!What a confused boy!Causing all this trouble.At Christmastime, too.He ought to be ashamed of himself.Whatever happened to such a good kid?Could he be a grinch?(BAD KID #1 and BAD KID #2 only pretend to agree with the CROWD and are having a good time doing so.)

JUDGE: (Picks up the gavel and bangs it.) Order in the court, order in the court.

OTHeRS: Order in the court!

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BAILIff: Order in the court.

JUDGe: for the boy to have a fair and just trial, we must have order in the court. If there is any more of that, I must have the bailiff clear the court. Is that understood?

OTHeRS: Yes, Judge Pfeffernuesse.

JUDGe: Will the defendant come forward and stand before the clerk? (CLERK stands. Pause. No one comes forward. Hubbub of VOICES.)

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) Where is he?Where’s Jim Dandy?He’s not here.Just like him.Tsk, tsk.

BAILIff: He doesn’t seem to be here, Your Honor.

JUDGe: Has he been notified?

CLeRK: Yes, Your Honor.

JUDGe: Where is young Jim Dandy’s attorney?

CLeRK: He doesn’t have one, Your Honor.

JUDGe: no attorney? Then the court will appoint one.

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: (Stands.) He chooses to defend himself, Your Honor.

JUDGe: Defend himself? In that case, he may be taking on a terrible client. (Laughter from OTHERS. He bangs the gavel.) now, where is he? (PROSECUTING ATTORNEY sits.)

CITIZen #1: (Stands.) I saw Jim Dandy outside in the hallway, Judge Pfeffernuesse. (Sits.)

JUDGe: He’s supposed to be in here. What’s he doing in the hallway?

CITIZen #2: (Stands.) Probably too scared to come in.

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) That’s it!He’s too scared to come in!He’s chicken!Chicken Dandy!(CITIZEN #2 sits.)

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) Order!

OTHeRS: Yes, Judge Pfeffernuesse.

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CITIZen #1: (Stands.) He’s not too scared to come in. He’s too stubborn to come in. (Sits.)

JUDGe: Stubborn? In what way?

CAROLeR #1: (Stands.) Refusing to send Christmas cards. (Sits.)

OTHeRS: (Horrified.) not sending?!

CAROLeR #2: (Stands.) Refusing to sing Christmas carols.

OTHeRS: (More horrified.) not singing? (CAROLER #2 sits.)

CAROLeR #3: (Stands.) Telling everyone that there is no Santa Claus.

JUDGe: (Extremely horrified.) no Santa Claus?!

ALL: Oh, no. (They frantically talk among themselves. CAROLER #3 sits.)

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) Cards, carols, Claus? This is worse than I thought! Bailiff.

BAILIff: Yes, Judge?

JUDGe: I want him in here. If he gives you any trouble, put him in handcuffs. (SPECTATORS gasp.)

BAILIff: Yes, Your Honor. (He EXITS LEFT.)

CITIZen #2: Jim Dandy used to be such a nice boy.

JUDGe: That was then, this is now. (Scattered nods of agreement.)

CITIZen #1: There’s nothing so sad as a child gone bad.

CITIZen #2: How true, how true.

CAROLeR #1: He used to decorate Christmas trees with us.

CAROLeR #2: He even made his own decorations.

CAROLeR #3: He always brought along his teddy bear. He loved that teddy bear.

CITIZen #1: What did he call it?

CAROLeRS: Teddy. (We hear the VOICES of JIM and BAILIFF.)

JIM’S VOICe: (From OFF LEFT.) Hands off, hands off. Who do you think you’re pushing?

BAILIff’S VOICe: (From OFF LEFT.) I know who I’m pushing.

JIM’S VOICe: (From OFF LEFT.) Who?

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BAILIff’S VOICe: (From OFF LEFT.) You. (JIM DANDY is pushed ON LEFT. He’s a young boy dressed in rough street clothes. He’s doing his best to appear tough. The BAILIFF follows him ON.)

JIM: I got rights.

BAILIff: Tell it to the judge. (BAILIFF stands DOWN LEFT, hands behind his back.)

JUDGe: Is your name Jim Dandy?

JIM: Of course it’s Jim Dandy. You know me, Judge Pfeffernuesse. I shovel out your driveway when there’s been a snowstorm.

JUDGe: I have to ask certain questions. Court formality. Didn’t anyone ever tell you how important it is to sign your Christmas cards, Jim? How could anyone know who they were from? Your friends like to know you share the Christmas spirit with them.

JIM: I can handle it. (SPECTATORS sigh and tsk-tsk.)

JUDGe: I’m very disappointed to see you here. The clerk will swear you in. (Gestures to table RIGHT.)

JIM: Which one is the clerk? (Points to PROSECUTING ATTORNEY.) Him? (Points to CLERK.) Or him?

CLeRK: (Stands.) Raise your right hand. (JIM crosses and raises his left hand.) no, your other right hand. (Subdued laughter from SPECTATORS.) You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but—

JIM: Yeah, yeah. Whatever it takes to get me out of here.

JUDGe: Is it true you wish to represent yourself in this case, Jim?

JIM: You betcha. I can defend myself better than anyone. I know the score. I’m tough.

JUDGe: It’s a very serious charge. I strongly urge you to get an attorney.

JIM: Phooey. (OTHERS react.)

JUDGe: Are you trying to show contempt for this court?

JIM: naw. I’m trying to hide it. Ha, ha, ha.

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) He’s gone too far!Outrageous!What’s gotten into him?Tsk-tsk.

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JUDGe: It’s your choice. You may be seated, Jim.

JIM: Where?

JUDGe: (Indicates table LEFT.) There.

JIM: Gotcha, Judge. (He sits.)

JUDGe: (Stares out to audience. Clears his throat. His words are solemn.) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of the jury. Young Jim Dandy has been charged with a grievous offense. As you know, each December the town of Candy Cane happily embraces the Christmas spirit. However, Young Jim Dandy has been telling everyone in town that Christmas spirit is a lot of, uh, uh—

JIM: nonsense. That’s what it is. nonsense.

JUDGe: He has publicly stated that anyone who believes in Christmas spirit is a fool. (To PROSECUTING ATTORNEY.) I will ask the Prosecuting Attorney if the town of Candy Cane has any witnesses to refute Jim’s position.

JIM: (Looks to SPECTATORS, waves.) Hi, guys. You’ll agree with me. Just you wait and see.

BAD KID #1: (Jumps up.) We’re with you, Jim.

BAD KID #2: (Jumps up.) Tough kids don’t need no Christmas spirit.

BAD KID #1: naw. That’s for babies.

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) Sit down!

BAD KID #1: While we’re at it, let’s get rid of Santa Claus. Who needs him? Only softies believe in Ol’ White Whiskers.

BAD KID #2: Phooey on Ol’ nick. Ha, ha, ha.

BAD KID #1: Ha, ha, ha.

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) We’ll have no more of that!

BAD KID #1: Sorry, Judge.

BAD KID #2: Me, too.

JUDGe: Sit down and behave yourselves.

BAD KIDS: Sure, sure. Whatever you say. We’re solid citizens. (BAD KIDS shake hands as if the whole thing is a joke, sit.)

JUDGe: Call your first witness.

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PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: (Stands.) for my first witness I should like to call the well-known santalogist, Roberta eggnog.

CLeRK: (Stands, calls out.) Roberta eggnog! Come into the courtroom! (Sits. ROBERTA EGGNOG ENTERS RIGHT. She is distinguished looking. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY steps to witness chair and indicates that EGGNOG should sit there. She does.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: All the witnesses have been sworn in previously, Your Honor.

JUDGe: Proceed.

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Miss eggnog, you are a graduate of the College of the north Pole.

eGGnOG: That is correct.

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Will you tell the court exactly what it is you do?

eGGnOG: As a practicing santalogist, it’s my job to help children realize that, although Santa Claus may no longer be real to them, he is, nonetheless, part and parcel of Christmas spirit.

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: In that sense, he “lives on.”

eGGnOG: Most certainly.

JIM: That’s a lot of bunk.

JUDGe: (Slams gavel.) Careful, Jim. Any more of that and I’m sure you’ll regret it.

JIM: Mum’s the word. (Pretends to “zip” his lips.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Would you say the defendant is misguided?

eGGnOG: I would say he’s going through the “rebellious” stage. It’s quite common at his young age.

JIM: (Stands.) Your Honor, what’s the big deal? I say Christmas spirit is nonsense. So what?

JUDGe: You’ll have your opportunity to speak, Jim. (JIM sits.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: I should like to call my next witness. Thank you, Miss eggnog. I may have to call you again.

eGGnOG: That’s what I’m here for. (She leaves the witness chair and finds a seat in the courtroom.)

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PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: for my next witness I call... Magic of Christmas!

ALL: (Amazed, hushed tone.) The Magic of Christmas?

CITIZen #1: That’ll be a first.

CITIZen #2: Imagine.

CLeRK: (Stands, calls out.) Magic of Christmas! Come into the courtroom! (Sits. In a moment MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS ENTERS from RIGHT. He’s a gentleman [or lady] wearing a long robe and a holly wreath for a hat. Glittering Christmas decorations cover the robe. The SPECTATORS are enthralled.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: (Gestures to witness chair.) If you wouldn’t mind taking the witness chair.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Why should I mind? I’m here to help in any way I can. I consider it a civic duty. (Applause. JUDGE bangs gavel. Rather majestically, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS takes the witness chair.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Would you tell us, please, what exactly is the magic of Christmas?

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Simply put, it’s all those things that get us in the spirit.

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: The spirit of Christmas, you mean.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: exactly. The music. The good feelings. The warmth of a fireplace. A family gathering. A wrapped present. The shining brightness of a single star overhead. (He points upward as if the star was visible. OTHERS look.) The clip-clop of flying reindeer landing on a rooftop. May I illustrate some Christmas spirit?

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: By all means. (MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS steps in front of the JUDGE’S table. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY remains by witness chair.)

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Observe. (If possible, the STAGE LIGHTS DIM DOWN somewhat. LETTER WRITER #1 and LETTER WRITER #2 ENTER DOWN RIGHT and DOWN LEFT, each in a CIRCLE OF LIGHT. Each holds three sheets of paper. [NOTE: Only LETTER WRITER #1 and #2 are indicated, but you might wish to use a different actor for each letter, meaning LETTER WRITER #3, LETTER WRITER #4, #5, #6.])

LeTTeR WRITeR #1: “Dear Santa, I would like a family photo so I can send it to my grandma who lives in a rest home. And I would like a teddy bear for myself.”

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LeTTeR WRITeR #2: “Dear Santa, Could you come to my house one day? Last Christmas eve I fell asleep by the fireplace, so I didn’t get to meet you. I live at 6-2-1 evergreen Avenue in Candy Cane. But I suppose you already know that.”

LeTTeR WRITeR #1: (New sheet of paper.) “Dear Santa, I almost forgot. Would you see that the homeless have food and shelter and all the lost puppies and kittens find their way home?”

LeTTeR WRITeR #2: (New sheet of paper.) “Dear Santa, Please bring a pair of glasses for the lady next door. She’s a nice lady but doesn’t have much money and she needs to see good.”

LeTTeR WRITeR #1: (New sheet.) “Dear Santa, If it isn’t too much to ask, would you bring peace on earth so there’s no more fighting? If you do this, it’ll be the best present I ever had. Honest.”

LeTTeR WRITeR #2: (New sheet.) “Dear Santa, What kind of sandwiches do reindeer like?” (LETTER WRITERS EXIT or find seats as STAGE LIGHTS COME UP FULL.)

JIM: (Stands.) What kind of sandwiches do reindeer like? I never heard anything so stupid. everybody knows reindeer don’t eat sandwiches.

JUDGe: Jim...

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: (Interrupting.) Your Honor, if I may... (JUDGE nods.) Ah, but you’re wrong, Jim. When Christmas spirit is casting its spell, reindeer can do anything.

JIM: Phooey. (He sits. MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS gestures RIGHT and REINDEER-IN-TRAINING ENTERS. To suggest antlers he or she wears some tree branches that are tied to his head. Bells are tied around REINDEER’S ankles and wrists. MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS motions him DOWN CENTER. [NOTE: Additional REINDEER-IN-TRAINING can be added, if desired.])

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: This is a Reindeer-In-Training. I suspect he can tell us something about Christmas spirit. (NOTE: If you’re using more than one REINDEER, divide up the lines.)

ReInDeeR: (Paws the ground.) Oh, sure. no trouble. none at all. Happy to. (Steps to audience.) By the way, we like vegetable sandwiches. Christmas eve is about the only real exercise reindeer get. Most of the time we sit around, feed and build up body fat. I’m pretty good when it comes to agility drills. But no reindeer feels complete ’til he rides with Santa on a cold and wintry night. Christmas eve. (FATHER and MOTHER, dressed for cold weather, ENTER RIGHT. They carry brightly-wrapped Christmas presents.)

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MOTHeR: This is really no time to stop. We haven’t gotten all the gifts on our list yet.

fATHeR: Leave these packages with me, dear. It will give me a chance to rest my feet. Besides, I heard on the news that this would be an extremely fascinating case.

MOTHeR: Well, there’s only a few more stores to go. But I do need to get to them before they close. And besides, we have some very special gifts to get.

fATHeR: The boys will love them.

MOTHeR: It shouldn’t take long. Why don’t you watch the case and rest your feet. I’ll be back soon.

fATHeR: Thank you. I’ll be right here. (MOTHER EXITS STAGE RIGHT as FATHER sits in spectator section, STAGE RIGHT.)

ReInDeeR: Late shoppers?

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Yes. As usual, some people put off Christmas shopping until the last minute. The fact that they always get their gifts for others before the stores close also is a part of Christmas. now, you were telling the jury what you know of Christmas spirit.

ReInDeeR: It’s exciting to get a running start with Santa in the back of the sleigh. Want me to demonstrate?

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: You’ll need snow for that.

ReInDeeR: But naturally. What’s a reindeer without snow? That’s worse than a camel without a desert. (Again, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS gestures and a young girl representing SNOW ENTERS from RIGHT. She looks lovely, dressed in flowing white, with a sparkling tiara. She carries a basket.)

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: There you are, Snow. Always about when I need you.

SnOW: What can I do to help, Magic of Christmas?

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Reindeer-In-Training was just about to demonstrate to the jury how he rides with Santa Claus on Christmas eve. Or how he will, once his training is complete.

ReInDeeR: I’ll need some snow to get me in the proper mood.

SnOW: Snow you shall have. ([NOTE: If you have the resources, a BLUE LIGHT is thrown on the scene to suggest a wintry Christmas Eve.]

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SNOW moves about MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS and REINDEER-IN-TRAINING, taking white confetti from the basket and tossing it into the air to suggest falling snowflakes. REINDEER-IN-TRAINING continues to paw at the ground, making grunting sounds, preparing for his flight. SNOW recites in musical fashion.)Snow, snow, lovely snow, Snow, snow, what a sight,Snow, snow, soft as down, Snow, snow, twice as white.Snow, snow, cold to touch, Snow, snow, fun to see, Snow, snow, please do stay, Snow, snow, don’t melt away. Snow, snow, lovely snow.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: (Steps to edge of STAGE.) everybody out there in the darkness, Reindeer-In-Training needs some help. You, too, in the courtroom. Shout after me: On DASHeR! On DAnCeR! On PRAnCeR AnD VIXen! On COMeT! On CUPID! On DOnDeR AnD BLITZen! (Hopefully, the audience will respond.) I know you can do better than that. Again. On DASHeR! On DAnCeR! On PRAnCeR AnD VIXen! On COMeT! On CUPID! On DOnDeR AnD BLITZen! (Response.) That’s better. (SNOW tosses more confetti.)

SnOW: (Musically.) Snow, snow, lovely snow...

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Are you ready, Reindeer-In-Training?

ReInDeeR-In-TRAInInG: Ready.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Over rooftops and chimneys. Over cities and towns. Over valley and dale. (He pretends to crack a whip over reindeer heads.) On DASHeR! On DAnCeR! On PRAnCeR AnD VIXen! On COMeT! On CUPID! On DOnDeR AnD BLITZen!

ReInDeeR-In-TRAInInG: Away we go! (He makes an animal sound. He circles MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS several times, head high, bells a- jingling. Naturally, if you’re using EXTRA REINDEER, they follow right along. Round and round. SPECTATORS sing “Jingle Bells.” TOY MAKER storms IN from RIGHT. He wears a leather apron, spectacles on the bridge of his nose. He holds a whittling knife in one hand and a wooden nutcracker soldier in the other. He’s terribly upset.)

TOY MAKeR: What’s this I hear about young Jim Dandy?

SnOW: Hello, Toy Maker. (REINDEER-IN-TRAINING stops.)

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TOY MAKeR: Hello, Snow.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: What did you hear?

TOY MAKeR: That he said the Christmas spirit was a lot of nonsense.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: I’m afraid that’s true. Who told you? (ANGEL ENTERS from RIGHT. She has tiny wings attached to her back, and, like SNOW, she wears a flowing white gown.)

AnGeL: I did.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: (To audience.) Ah, the angel that sits atop the Christmas tree. (To REINDEER-IN-TRAINING.) You’d better run along now and check your flight plan.

ReInDeeR-In-TRAInInG: Good idea. (REINDEER-IN-TRAINING EXITS RIGHT, bells a-jingling.)

AnGeL: everyone in town has been talking about it.

TOY MAKeR: I, for one, don’t believe it. Jim Dandy is a good lad. He’d never put down Christmas spirit. It’s not in his nature.

AnGeL: Toy Maker made Jim’s teddy bear.

TOY MAKeR: And his first toy soldier and his first spinning top.

AnGeL: He once loved the Christmas season. What could have happened?

TOY MAKeR: Jim Dandy, where are you, lad?

AnGeL: There he is. (Points to him. TOY MAKER crosses.)

TOY MAKeR: What’s all this about, Jim?

JIM: I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Leave me alone.

AnGeL: Doesn’t sound like you, Jim.

TOY MAKeR: no, it doesn’t.

AnGeL: He used to be so friendly at Christmas time.

JUDGe: Are these people witnesses for the prosecution?

AnGeL: We haven’t come to speak against Jim, if that’s what you mean.

JUDGe: Then I must ask you to leave the courtroom or take seats. All this is most irregular. Reindeer. Snow. Angels.

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Ah, there you have it, Your Honor. All part of the Christmas spirit.

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JUDGe: I’m concerned about the melting snow in this courtroom. This could result in a health hazard.

SnOW: Oh, don’t worry, Your Honor. The Christmas spirit will keep me from melting.

JUDGe: Christmas spirit or no Christmas spirit, I want these people to either leave or be seated.

CLeRK: (Stands.) Make room for Toy Maker, Snow and Angel. (Space is made on the benches and SNOW and ANGEL take seats. CLERK sits. TOY MAKER remains standing.)

SnOW: Something’s gone wrong with Jim.

AnGeL: He’s not acting like himself.

eGGnOG: (Stands.) As a santalogist, I can assure you it’s only a phase he’s going through. (Sits.)

JIM: It is not.

BAD KID #1: (Jumps up.) Atta boy, Jim!

BAD KID #2: (Jumps up.) You tell ’em, Jim!

JUDGe: You two are on the verge of getting time-outs. (They sit.)

fATHeR: Oh, my gosh. It’s the boys! My two sons are being scolded by a judge!

TOY MAKeR: Jim Dandy, there’s something funny going on here. fess up.

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) You must take a seat or leave the courtroom.

TOY MAKeR: I wish to stay, Your Honor.

JUDGe: Then you must sit down.

TOY MAKeR: Consider me sat. (He finds room near ANGEL, sits. Mumbles.) I’ll get to the bottom of this.

AnGeL: Try not to upset yourself, Toy Maker.

TOY MAKeR: I’m already upset.

MOTHeR: (ENTERS RIGHT with more packages and joins FATHER in spectator section STAGE RIGHT.) It’s quite a frenzy out there.

fATHeR: frenzy. You haven’t seen “frenzy” yet.

MOTHeR: Well, you said it would be quite a case.

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fATHeR: (Points to BAD KIDS.) Look. The boys... they’re here!

MOTHeR: Oh, my gosh! I wonder why.

fATHeR: I don’t know. But they really haven’t been themselves. In fact, they almost got time-outs from the judge.

MOTHeR: Time-outs?!

fATHeR: Where have we gone wrong with them?

JUDGe: Are you through with your witness?

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: for the time being, Your Honor.

JUDGe: (To MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS.) You may leave the courtroom if you wish, but stay in the building in case you’re needed.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Oh, but I haven’t finished my testimony. (Without waiting for a response, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS orders CLERK...) Call Mrs. Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim.

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) Mrs. Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim?!Wow!This is quite a case!The first of its kind!I hope the last!

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: from Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.”

CITIZenS #1 & #2: Dickens?

CAROLeR #1: “A Christmas Carol”?

CAROLeR #2: My favorite Christmas story.

CAROLeR #3: Mine, too.

CLeRK: (Stands, bellows.) Mrs. Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim! Come into the courtroom.

MRS. CRATCHIT’S VOICe: (From OFF RIGHT.) We’re coming. fast as we can. (She ENTERS RIGHT. She’s a motherly type, wearing an apron and holding a large plum pudding in an uncovered dish. Her son, TINY TIM, using a crutch to support his bad leg, follows.)

MRS. CRATCHIT: Tiny Tim and I have been so busy. Preparing Christmas dinner takes a long time. I’ve cooked a lovely bird. (Holds up the plum pudding.) Isn’t this a pleasant plum pudding? We’ll all get a good portion for once.

TInY TIM: even Mister Scrooge is coming.

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MRS. CRATCHIT: That’s right, dear. even ebeneezer Scrooge. I used to think he was such a wicked man.

TInY TIM: Making father work long hours in a cold office without so much as a burning coal to warm his fingers.

MRS. CRATCHIT: But wonder of wonders, ebeneezer Scrooge is a changed man.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: Why is that, Mrs. Cratchit?

MRS. CRATCHIT: All I know is that he’s changed... and for the better. He could hardly change for the worse.

TInY TIM: He’s even giving father a shilling raise and a week’s holiday.

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) Amazing.Incredible.Who could believe such a thing?

MRS. CRATCHIT: And he’s promised to see what he can do for Tiny Tim. I’ve always said the Christmas spirit works wonders. Of course, we haven’t much to give one another in the way of presents, but Mister Cratchit always says presents don’t matter if there’s love in a home and the family’s together. (Smells the pudding.) It’s a lovely pudding, if I do say so myself. What do you say, Tiny Tim? (With his crutch he hobbles a few steps DOWNSTAGE and speaks to audience.)

TInY TIM: What do I say, Mother?

MRS. CRATCHIT: Yes, dear.

TInY TIM: I say... God bless us, everyone. (He smiles. Soft applause from SPECTATORS.)

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) Please, order in the court. (MRS. CRATCHIT and TINY TIM EXIT the courtroom or find seats.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Have you anything else to contribute, Magic of Christmas?

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: I could go on forever.

JIM: Give me a break.

MAGIC Of CHRISTMAS: One last moment, and then I am through.

JIM: Good.

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) no more of that. (MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS waves

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his hand RIGHT. He steps close to the SPECTATORS so the audience’s view is not blocked. In a moment, WISE MAN #1 ENTERS RIGHT. He holds a small box in his grip. [NOTE: If you wish, MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS can assume the role of WISE MAN #1. Two OTHER WISE MEN ENTER, each with a small box or jar. Or two SPECTATORS can stand and step behind WISE MAN #1 to assume the roles. The gifts are taken from the floor, having been placed there PRIOR TO LIGHTS UP.] STAGE LIGHTING DIMS and, if possible, a BLUISH GLOW FILLS THE STAGE to suggest a clear desert night. The WISE MEN take a few measured steps, stop. WISE MAN #1 points into the night sky. Underscoring very softly so as not to interfere with the dialogue, the CAROLERS begin to sing or hum.)

CAROLeRS: We three Kings of Orient are,Bearing gifts we traverse afar,field and fountain, moor and mountain,following yonder star.O star of wonder, star of night,Star with royal beauty bright.Westward leading, still proceeding,Guide us to thy perfect light... (NOTE: “Away in a Manger” or “Silent Night” may be substituted.)

WISe MAn #1: It’s still there. In the sky.

WISe MAn #2: Shining brighter than ever.

WISe MAn #3: Like the rarest of diamonds.

WISe MAn #1: Surely, this is the place. (SHEPHERD ENTERS from RIGHT. Or this role can be assumed by a SPECTATOR. He carries a staff which he picks up from the floor. He moves to the WISE MAN. If more than one SHEPHERD is used, divide up the lines.)

SHePHeRD: Good evening, good sirs.

WISe Men: Good evening.

WISe MAn #1: Shepherd, we have followed that star.

WISe MAn #2: We are three wise men who seek a newborn child. It has been foretold.

WISe MAn #3: We have brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.

SHePHeRD: I know of no such child. (INNKEEPER’S WIFE ENTERS RIGHT. Or, again, a SPECTATOR can assume this role.)

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InnKeePeR’S WIfe: What is it, what is it? Who are you talking to, shepherd? We have no rooms, no rooms. (Sees WISE MEN.) Oh, good sirs, forgive me. I am the innkeeper’s wife. It is so seldom highborn gentlefolk come to this village.

SHePHeRD: They seek a newborn child.

InnKeePeR’S WIfe: Child? Child? Hmmmmm. How odd. There was a child born this evening. A boy.

WISe MAn #3: The prophecy did not lie.

WISe MAn #1: Will you take us to the room? We wish to see him.

InnKeePeR’S WIfe: Room? He wasn’t born in a room. All the rooms were taken. He was born in the manger.

WISe MAn #2: Manger?

InnKeePeR’S WIfe: Wrapped in swaddling clothes. He had a sheep and a donkey for company.

WISe MAn #3: I wonder if this is the child we seek?

WISe MAn #1: It must be.

InnKeePeR’S WIfe: But the parents are poor. They have almost no money. They’re not worth your attention.

SHePHeRD: It must be another child you seek.

WISe MAn #2: (Indicates.) That is the star we’ve been following.

WISe MAn #1: It would not lie.

WISe MAn #3: Where is the manger?

InnKeePeR’S WIfe: I’ll show you. (Gestures RIGHT. The WISE MEN cross OUT.)

SHePHeRD: They’ve brought gifts for this child.

InnKeePeR’S WIfe: There must be some mistake. (She EXITS after WISE MEN. SHEPHERD follows. MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS follows. SNOW and ANGEL rise and follow. CAROLERS’ VOICES FADE.)

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) Prosecuting Attorney. (LIGHTS RETURN TO NORMAL.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Yes, Your Honor?

JUDGe: If you have no further witnesses—

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eGGnOG: (Stands.) I feel I should be called back to the witness stand. After all, Santa Claus hasn’t been called.

JIM: (Stands.) Look at that, Your Honor, a grown woman and she still believes in Santa Claus.

eGGnOG: I was speaking in a figurative sense.

JIM: Speak english.

BAD KIDS: Ha, ha, ha!

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) Do you wish to recall the witness?

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: not at this time, Your Honor.

JUDGe: (To EGGNOG.) You may be seated.

eGGnOG: (Disappointed.) If you insist. (Sits. So does JIM.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: At this time, Your Honor, I wish to call a hostile witness. (This causes a murmur of surprise to run through the SPECTATORS.)

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) Hostile witness?I wonder who it could be?What’s a hostile witness?This is going to be a rabbit out of a hat.I bet I know who it is.Hostile witness, hostile witness.

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) Order in the court.

OTHeRS: Order in the court.

JUDGe: Who is this hostile witness?

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Young Jim Dandy. (JIM reacts. This comes as quite a shock.)

JIM: Huh?!

SPeCTATORS: (Ad lib.) I knew it.Jim Dandy. This ought to be interesting.

JIM: (Stands.) But I don’t want to be a witness.

JUDGe: You don’t have to Jim. Anything you say could be used against you. Are you afraid?

JIM: (Though reluctant, he STANDS.) nothing scares me. I’m all yours.

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PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: If you’ll take the witness stand. (JIM crosses to the witness chair, sits.)

BAD KID #1: (Stands.) Don’t be afraid, Jim.

BAD KID #2: (Stands.) You’re tough. Like us.

JUDGe: Bailiff.

BAILIff: Yes, Your Honor.

JUDGe: If those bad kids make any more trouble, toss them out of this courtroom.

BAILIff: Yes, Your Honor.

BAD KID #1: Aw, someone’s always picking on us.

BAD KID #2: It ain’t fair. (Pouting, they sit.)

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: After all you’ve seen, Jim, you still insist Christmas spirit is nonsense?

JIM: Uh, uh...

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Do you or don’t you?

JIM: Uh, uh...

PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY: Answer the question.

TOY MAKeR: Please, it’s as if you are bullying the boy. (Stands, crosses to witness chair.) Jim, you know me well. I made your teddy bear.

JIM: I don’t have it anymore, Toy Maker. I threw it away. (ALL gasp.)

TOY MAKeR: (Shocked.) Threw it away? Why?

JIM: Uh, uh... I didn’t want the other kids laughing at me.

TOY MAKeR: You’ll have to do better than that.

JIM: Uh, uh... It happened one day in October.

TOY MAKeR: What did? (If possible, there’s a LIGHTING SHIFT to suggest another time, another place. JIM steps CENTER. BAD KID #1 and BAD KID #2 stand and move to him.)

BAD KID #1: naw, naw, I’m tougher than you.

BAD KID #2: naw, naw.

BAD KID #1: (Makes fists.) Wanna fight?

JIM: Why should I?

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BAD KID #2: You’re a softie.

JIM: How do you know?

BAD KID #2: (Makes fists.) ’Cuz I saw you with a teddy bear. Wanna fight?

JIM: (Makes fists.) I’m just as tough as you.

BAD KID #1: Prove it.

JIM: I’m so tough, uh, uh—

BAD KID #1: Uh, uh, what?

JIM: Uh, uh. (Thinking hard.) I’m so tough I say—

BAD KID #2: You say what?

JIM: Uh, uh, I say Christmas spirit is a lot of nonsense. (BAD KIDS are struck dumb for a moment. They can hardly believe their ears.)

BAD KIDS: Wow! That is tough.

BAD KID #1: ’Specially in Candy Cane.

BAD KID #2: We’d better not mess with him.

BAD KID #1: Saying that, he has to be the toughest kid in town!

BAD KID #2: Let’s get out of here.

BAD KID #1: You said it. (They SIT DOWN. TOY MAKER steps to JIM. LIGHTS return to normal.)

TOY MAKeR: So that’s why you said what you did. You wanted the other children to think you were tougher than they were.

JIM: It was either that or get beat up.

TOY MAKeR: Did you really throw away your teddy bear?

JIM: Yes. I wish I had it back.

TOY MAKeR: Let me tell you something, Jim. I happen to know those bad kids love the Christmas spirit. But after what you said, they have to act as tough as you. Otherwise, you’ll think they’re softies. If only people would be honest with each other.

eGGnOG: It would save a lot of trouble.

JUDGe: (Bangs gavel.) Take your seat, Toy Maker.

TOY MAKeR: Yes, Your Honor. (Takes his seat.)

fATHeR: (Standing with MOTHER.) Your Honor.

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JUDGe: My goodness! Are you a part of this case?

MOTHeR: I’m afraid we are. (FATHER and MOTHER cross to BAD KID #1 and BAD KID #2. The BOYS gasp.) These are our children.

fATHeR: I think we have learned just as much today as Jim.

JUDGe: And what is that?

MOTHeR: We have not instilled the spirit of Christmas in the boys.

fATHeR: But we do know that it is never too late. (To BOYS.) You acted like bullies and owe Jim an apology.

BAD KID #1: (Crosses with BAD KID #2 to Jim. Sheepish.) Sorry, Jim.

BAD KID #2: I’m sorry, too. (Offers hand to JIM, who shakes it. JIM then offers his hand to BAD KID #1 and they shake.)

fATHeR: Boys, let’s head on home. We still have more to talk about.

MOTHeR: Thank you for your time and patience, Your Honor.

JUDGe: I am sure you will bring the spirit of Christmas to your house. Just remember, it takes more than presents to create that spirit.

CAROLeR #1: Like decorating a tree.

CAROLeR #2: And singing carols.

CAROLeR #3: And spending time as a family.

MOTHeR: We can bake some Christmas cookies for our neighbors and friends.

fATHeR: Thank you to all of you and have a merry Christmas. (They EXIT RIGHT.)

JUDGe: Well, Jim, a most peculiar case. If the jury agrees that Christmas spirit lives on after all you’ve said, the Candy Cane Court will drop the charges.

JIM: Thank you, Your Honor.

JUDGe: It’s up to the jury. (JIM runs from one end of the STAGE to the other, calling out to the jury [audience].)

JIM: I know you folks believe. Don’t ever lose that belief. The world needs it. I need it. You need it. We all need it. I was wrong to say what I did. (He stops, and then, with great sincerity, he says...) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of the jury, I’m going to count to five and, if you believe in Christmas spirit, shout out: YeS! (Dramatic pause.) One... TWO... THRee... fOUR... fIVe!

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SPeCTATORS/AUDIenCe: YeS!

JIM: Oh, thank you. Thank you! (SPECTATORS applaud. From the BACK of the hall/auditorium, we hear a familiar character...)

SAnTA CLAUS: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to one and all. (He runs down the aisle, ad libbing: “Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!” Those OFFSTAGE, except for FATHER, MOTHER and BAD KIDS, return. ALL look to the approaching SANTA, applauding, waving. He climbs ON STAGE with the gift sack over his shoulder.) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to one and all.

OTHeRS: Merry Christmas, Santa! (He puts the sack on the floor and from it takes a battered teddy bear.)

SAnTA CLAUS: Here, Jim. I heard you say you wanted it back. I’ve been keeping it for you.

JIM: (Takes teddy bear.) Wow! This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had!

SAnTA CLAUS: (Waving to SPECTATORS, and then to audience.) Have a wonderful holiday, everybody. Merry Christmas!

ALL: (Waving to audience.) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! (FATHER, MOTHER and BAD KIDS return. Smiling, KIDS hold up teddy bears, and point at them.)

SAnTA CLAUS: (Motioning audience to join in.) Come on, everybody. Join our Christmas spirit. Let’s sing! (ENTIRE CAST and AUDIENCE sing “Jingle Bells.”)

enD Of PLAY

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playwright’s note

JInGLe BeLLS JURY is designed for simple production. If there’s a special costume requirement, it’s done with minimal effort. A “suggestion” is all that’s required.

Although the script refers to many roles as male, these roles, with the possible exception of JIM, BAD KID #1, MOTHeR, fATHeR, SHePHeRD, InnKeePeR’S WIfe, SnOW, AnGeL, MRS. CRATCHIT, TInY TIM and SAnTA CLAUS can be played by either female or male cast members.

We’re not in the land of realism. We’re in the land of imagination.

production notes

On STAGe: JUDGe’S table and chair. Witness chair. PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY’S table with two chairs. Another table and chair. Benches or chairs for spectators. Optional Christmas tree and large candy canes.

BROUGHT On: Winter caps, scarves, mittens, songbooks (CAROLeRS); briefcase with legal papers (PROSeCUTInG ATTORneY); ledger, quill pen, bottle of ink (CLeRK); badge, handcuffs, pocket watch (BAILIff); choir robe, gavel (JUDGe); letters to Santa Claus (LeTTeR WRITeRS); antlers, jingle bells (ReInDeeR-In-TRAInInG); Christmas presents (fATHeR, MOTHeR); basket with white confetti (SnOW); leather apron, pocket knife, nutcracker soldier, eyeglasses (TOY MAKeR); wings (AnGeL); large dish with plum pudding (MRS. CRATCHIT); crutch (TInY TIM); small boxes or jars (WISe Men); staff (SHePHeRD); sack of presents to include old teddy bear (SAnTA); teddy bears (BAD KIDS).

fOR A SMALLeR CAST: no extras. CAROLeRS can be combined with CITIZenS. CITIZenS could assume the roles of LeTTeR WRITeRS. eGGnOG could play WISe MAn #2 or #3. SHePHeRD could be portrayed by a CITIZen. InnKeePeR’S WIfe could be played by CITIZen or CAROLeR, etc...

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