Bullying: Information for Parents

Toni McDaniel, School CounselorHuntsville Elementary

Presented by Kristy Ellison and Toni McDanielTitle 1 Parent Meeting

March 15, 2012

What is bullying?

“Bullying is unfair and one-sided.It happens whensomeone keeps hurting, frightening, threatening, or leavingsomeone out on

purpose.”*Repetitve and Intentional*

As of June 2009, all forms of bullying are punishable by law in the State of North Carolina.

NC School Violence PreventionGeneral Statute

Article 29C §115C-407.15

Bullying and harassing behavior:

As used in this Article, "bullying or harassing behavior" is any

pattern of gestures or written, electronic, or verbal communications, or any

physical act or any threatening communication, that takes place on school

property, at any school-sponsored function, or on a school bus.

http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/PDF/ByArticle/Chapter_115C/Article_29C.pdf

Who does the bullying and why?

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes…big or small, old or young, rich or poor, boy or girl.

They want to have power and control over others. They do this by making others feel bad about themselves.

What do bullies look for and why?

Differences: Bullies look for someone who is different in some way—hair or skin color, accent, disability, religion, gender, academics, physical appearance….any difference.

What do bullies look for and why?

Helplessness: Bullies need a target that will feel scared or upset and maybe even cry. They want their target to feel helpless because it makes them feel powerful and in control.

What do bullies look for and why?

Isolation: Bullies want their target to be alone. It may keep them out of trouble and make them feel more intimidating.

How does bullying make children feel?

When a child is bullied at school they may:

Make up excuses for not going to schoolDevelop sleeping or eating problemsHave unexplained bruises or torn clothesContinually lose things or need extra money for school suppliesBe unusually quiet or isolate themselves as soon as they get home

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you

are."

~ Theodore Roosevelt

So……….. What can parents do?

If you suspect a problem…..

Talk with your child about school every dayAsk specific questions, such as “Is there someone in your class, at recess, or on the bus that picks on others?” Let the school know your concernsDo not advise your child to ignore the problem Do not advise your child to physically handle the problem

Listen by HEARing:

Helpfulness *listen first and get all the details; don’t rush

Empathy *try to understand and

not criticize

Attentiveness *don’t get distracted

Responsiveness *show interest and concern; if needed, report incident to school officials

Help your child build positive social skills….

Encourage friendshipsArrange weekend play dates to promote friendshipsTeach your child self-respect and the importance of “standing tall”If your child is shy, role play situations that have occurred previouslyTeach your child to share, compromise, and apologize to help avoid conflicts

Teach your child to handle bullying situations by:

Staying with others: bullies are usually more aggressive with kids who are aloneControlling their reactions: a bully feels “big” if the target gets upsetLearning to respond with humor and assertiveness: the bully may not know what to say or do nextKnowing who to report to when bullied: a situation may arise that requires adult intervention

What is a bystander?

An innocent person that sees bullying happen.

Bystanders have the responsibility of intervening by…

Standing up to the bully: “Stop it!”, “That’s not funny!”, “How would you feel if someone said/did that to you?”

Getting the help of an adult immediately

What can students do?

What to do if you find out that your child bullies others

Evaluate whether the behavior is a problem at home. Do parents model bullying behavior? Does child exhibit bullying behavior toward younger sibling(s)? Family therapy may be needed.

Provide as much parental supervision as possible.

Put an immediate stop to any bullying behavior you observe.

Avoid physical punishment as discipline; this may encourage your child to hurt others. Instead, take away privileges or add extra jobs around the house.

Always reward your child with lots of praise and positive feedback when caring and appropriate behaviors are exhibited.

Huntsville’s Action Plan

This school year: Character Education LessonsAnti-bullying Week April 10-13

Next school year:Character Education LessonsAnti-bullying Month—OctoberInclude Bully Prevention in PBIS

Program.

Questions?

Sources/Parent Resources for Bullying Information

http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/PDF/ByArticle/Chapter_115C/Article_29C.pdf

http://www.pbis.org/common/pbisresources/publications/bullyprevention_ES.pdf

http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/

http://www.bam.gov/sub_yourlife/yourlife_bullyroundup.html

http://www.kidpower.org/resources/articles/prevent-bullying.html?gclid=CNb3sPSqxKcCFQXu7QodgESaDg

Bullyproofing Your School: a Comprehensive Approach for Elementary Schools, published by Sopris West, Longmont, CO copyright 2000 (second edition)