brooke’s teaching journals · web viewa. universally-designed lesson plan day s 6-7:...

Brooke’s Teaching JournalsLLED 7320

Lessons 6-7 1:05-2:09 x 2

A. Universally-Designed Lesson Plan

Days 6-7: Getting really personal (raw emotion is ok) Question(s) to consider: Do you want your reader to feel something when they read your

piece? Do you want to bring out an emotion (joy, sorrow, empathy, etc.)

Mentor Text 1: Read “Yes, I still remember” (my memoir poem about the night my brother passed away).

o Prepare students beforehand for content in poem.o Reflect with students on how my wording & the structuring of my stanzas

generate different emotions.

Follow-up with Mentor Text 2: Read excerpts from Locomotion by Jacqueline Woodson.o Mini-lesson: Author Jacqueline Woodson expertly crafts a character capable of

engaging the reader while exemplifying poetry’s appeals. How? Lonnie’s poems—specifically his willingness to be vulnerable through them— move the reader. Choosing this outlet for story-telling allows Jacqueline to showcase certain advantages to poetry writing: poems are not restricted to length requirements; their form is flexible; they begin as—and sometimes remain as— works-in-progress; they can speak to what can’t be said aloud; and perhaps most importantly, they make you remember. [Addendum: I emphasized the highlighted parts during my mini-lesson.]

Why write poetry: Evidence/support from Locomotion:

Poems can be short. Poem Book intro: “So this whole book’s a poem because poetry’s short” (Woodson, 2003, p. 1).

Their form is flexible. Lonnie experiments with various types of poems:

Haiku— pgs. 14, 34, 40, 59, 78

Sonnet Poem— p. 20 Epistle Poem (letter) —

pgs. 24, 93 List Poem— p. 33 Epitaph poem— p. 84

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They begin as—and sometimes remain as— works-in-progress.

Describe Somebody: “Now I gotta write a whole new poem/ ‘cause Eric would be real mad if I told the class/ about his angel voice” (Woodson, 2003, p. 23).

Occasional Poem: “I was gonna write about Mama’s funeral/ but Lamont and Ms. Marcus going back and forth/ zapped all the ideas from my head” (Woodson, 2003, p. 58).

Poetry Poem: “You gotta write it over and over and over/ until it feels real good to you/ And sometimes it does/ And sometime it doesn’t” (Woodson, 2003, p. 62).

Poems can speak to what shouldn’t or can’t be said aloud.

Just Nothing Poem: “I want to yell today./ Get real mad at somebody./ I want to punch something. Hard./ Maybe punch somebody./ Me? I want to yell/ What family?!” (Woodson, 2003, p. 50).

Me, Eric, Lamont, & Angel: “In my head I see a fire. I see black windows./ I hear people hollering. I smell smoke./ I hear a man’s voice saying I’m so sorry./ I hear myself screaming./ Never seen nothing, I say” (Woodson, 2003, p. 27).

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Writing poetry makes you remember.

The act of remembering is illustrated in many of Lonnie’s poems. Below are a few of my favorite examples:

Mama: “And for those few seconds, Mama’s alive/ again./ And I’m remembering/ all the good things about her” (Woodson, 2003, p. 7).

Parents Poem: “That stupid fire couldn’t take all of them./ Nothing could do that./ Nothing” (Woodson, 2003, p. 19).

Tuesday: “Writing makes me remember./ It’s like my whole family comes back again/ when I write. All of them right/ here like somebody pushed the Rewind button” (Woodson, 2003, p. 42).

Add to memoir noticings chart. Writer’s Notebook: Does any of your writing so far lend itself to poetry? Experiment

with turning some of your work into a stanza or two…

B. What actually happened…? What did you change and why?

On day six, in honor of Veteran’s Day, my school ran an activity schedule, and classes were 10 minutes shorter. I postponed the second mentor text (Locomotion) for day seven. No other changes were made.

C. Documentation/analysis of student engagement, struggles, and learning:

PART 1:Students are immediately attentive; they know that today I am sharing my poem. I decide

to pass out copies of my memoir, so that they can reference back to it for inspiration. Students are respectful and wait for me to begin reading. J.C. complains that his asthma is acting up and requests to see the nurse.

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I ask students to think of these questions while listening to/reading my memoir: “Do you want your reader to feel something when they read your piece? Do you want to bring out an emotion (joy, sorrow, or empathy)?” I take a moment to remind students that some memoirs like Knucklehead are humorous and joyful (as will also be shown through M.B.’s memoir, which recaps his baseball championship); however, mine takes on a more serious, reflective tone. Before reading, I ask, “Does anyone know what raw emotion is?” Students piece together the following response: Raw emotion is unedited—something you don’t normally say out loud but think about. I am impressed with their collective response.

I transition into reading my poem (telling them that some of my words carry raw emotion). They have been prepared for the content. The memoir starts off with me describing a phone ringing in the middle of the night; students grow absolutely silent. Not a sound. Midway through, tears start falling, but my students know that I am ok. They are patient with me and do not interrupt. At the end, they clap loudly. This group loves to clap when they are moved. I am touched.

Students have a flood of questions, which I answer as best I can. I then refocus students’ attention on reviewing the poem as a writer (to practice reading like a writer). M.B. likes how I bring in other perspectives/reactions (the perspective of my mother, father, the nurses and doctors are discussed). Another student observes my purposeful repetition of the first stanza at the end. [Several students end up modeling this technique in their final memoirs]. We add this strategy to their Noticings Chart.

I ask a follow-up question, “What pictures came to mind while I was reading?” K.G. contributes an answer, “I sense your emotion when you are holding his hand for the last time. It was also easy to imagine your mom.” E.B. can picture the customers at Cracker Barrel. He says, “Everyone was happy, but your family was not.”

We end our interaction with this text by identifying what techniques I used most effectively. The consensus seems to be: imagery, powerful action verbs, and repetition. I’m impressed at their ability to assess my piece.

Students are instructed to return to their interactive notebooks and to continue writing. I encourage my students to be brave and to experiment with poetry today [several do]. They have established a routine at this point of getting comfortable and moving around the room. Some sit on the floor with their notebooks.

K.G. is first to conference. She asks, “Does my introduction drag on?” Turns out that her opening paragraph lacks some clarity, so we brainstorm ways to fix this. She allows me to read beyond her introduction, and I’m very impressed with her descriptive language (ex: “I see boxes wrapped in patterned paper. I scavenged round…there’s movement! I pop the lid open, hoping beyond all hope...when a brown fur ball hops out. Hazel eyes. Milk chocolate fur. Already he grabs onto my heart.”) She returns to her seat.

Next, K.W. takes a seat in the conferencing chair. She wants to know where to go with her story. I am immediately impressed by her first two sentences, which grab the reader’s attention: “For several years, I thought I had only one father. I thought the man my mom married was my father.” I ask her if I can share these lines with the class, and she agrees. After reading more, I see opportunities for K.W. to insert elaboration and details into her story. I try not to tell K.W. what to write but guide her by annotating a brief list of possibilities. She decides to include a Facebook conversation between the two of them.

K.M. walk up shortly after K.W. leaves. She is writing about her grandpa but feels uncertain about what to focus on. M.B. (who sits close by) interjects, “I’m thinking of my

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memoir as a main event that zooms into a moment. It needs to focus in on something worth enlarging, like a camera lens zooms in.” I am speechless and have to pause to write this down. I love his analogy. Together, we brainstorm about what she and her grandpa enjoyed doing (what made their bond special). She shares some sweet memories, and I see her wheels start turning.

The bell rings all too soon. Before leaving class, J.M. asks if he can leave his notebook with me for more feedback—I agree to this. Upon reading it, I notice that his story has gotten more personal and raw: “But I go on with my life ’cause I know I’m safe from all that goes on. My friends are more of a family than them. Have you ever thought that your life was worthless? I did ’cause I got abused…left out from what I liked doing most…” I realize that he has a lot to say.

PART 2:Today marks my last mini-lesson (based on Locomotion). I assure students that the next

two days—as much as possible—will be protected for conferencing and final revisions. I alert them that their memoirs are due on Friday, November 15. Students know that this day will serve as a culminating celebration of their writing; many display an eagerness to share. Mrs. J. offers to bring in cookies. Anticipation and excitement are high. J.E. informs me that he has an orthodontist appointment Friday afternoon but does not want to miss class. [He actually begs his mom to reschedule it, and she relents.]

M.B. has already approached me before the start of class to read over his writing. I notice his experimentation with incorporating poetry into his memoir, and I’m impressed. We decide to take his first stanza and make it a choral refrain throughout the memoir. I have never seen him so excited about writing. I share his stanza with the class, and they seem impressed, too.

After wrapping up housekeeping, we transition into listening to/analyzing poems from Locomotion. I explain that the boy in this book finds it easier to write about serious (and not so serious) emotions through poetry. I read aloud the following excerpts: “Mama,” “Parents Poem,” “Tuesday,” “Just Nothing,” and “Me, Eric, Lamont, and Angel.” Students notice Lonnie’s specific language. Many appreciate the following line: “That stupid fire could not take all of them.” We pause to discuss the significance of this statement. E.X. offers his own interpretation by saying, “The fire could not take their souls.” Two students ask to go to the library and check the book out (J.M and E.X.).

My class is starting to understand that poetry allows the writer to say more with less. They seem intrigued, and many are willing to transform their own writing into stanzas. I begin conferencing by asking for a show of hands of which students need conferencing; I record their names on the board: J.E., B.S., K.H., K.M., and J.Y. After each conference, students cross their names off.

J.E. informs me that he wants to change topics. I ask him to elaborate. He says he wants to write about something more serious: losing his grandmother. I give him permission to go for it.

B.S. is next on the list. I prod her to tell me what kind of feedback she prefers. B.S. wants her paper to be pressed (BEAP). I acknowledge that her writing is well-developed; however, it needs to reflect the unexpected nature of both welcoming and saying goodbye to her first niece.

Today, I only make it to K.M. before time runs out. She has made noticeable progress with her piece; in fact she has reworked her original brainstorming into a poem. I bless her writing and assist her with formatting; see work below:

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Original brainstorming: I slowly walk out of my room, groggy with loss of sleep. My mom and dad were at the hospital with my grandfather all night. I walk into the kitchen and my brothers are sitting at the table, eating with red, watery eyes. My mom has tears running down her face. She walks up to me and says, “He died last night.” I stand there in shock…I burst into tears. As me and my heartbroken mom stand in the middle of the kitchen bawling our eyes out, my sister is confused. She is only 2 and has no idea what is happening. My grandfather died on my nana’s birthday. His daughter’s birthday. Last night was the night my whole life changed. The next day is his memorial service. Me and my family walk into the church and it is quiet yet full of people. My parents talk to some people I don’t know and my cousin Brian came up to us and says, “Do y’all still want to see the casket?” My parents both agree to see it, but I don’t want to. I’ve kept strong so far, and I’m afraid I’ll start crying. I follow any way into a room full of people crying. They go towards a crowd of people, and right away I know that’s where his lifeless body lays in a casket…I finally get the guts to go see him. There he lies in a white casket, beautiful flowers everywhere around it. I automatically think of how every Halloween we would go to his house and get more candy than you can ever imagine…not last year though…last year we visited him on Halloween at the hospital. Now we will never get to hear his joyful laugh again. We won’t get to see his electric blue eyes light up every time he sees us.

Poem version (after revisions—notice how she uses repetition)A Saturday night:The night one of my beloved died:

My grandfather.

His laugh,His contagious smile,His electric blue eyes…

I will always remember.

I hadn’t seen him in months,I was dying to see him,But I never dreamed of seeing him

In a casket.

At the sight of him this way,My heart skips a beat,Time stops,

I am petrified.

There his lifeless body lies,In a casket:Snow white on the outside,Red velvet on the inside.

Hundreds of flowers around it.

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The sight of him dead is too overwhelming.I tried to be strong,But I couldn’t take it.

Quietly I cry.

The next day was the burial,He was lowered into the dirt,I could hear faint whispering

A man of his word, a man of God.

There was the end,I will never see him again,But I will always have his memories.

His laugh,His smile,His electric blue eyes,

I will always remember.

Saturday, March 23, 2013.The day my grandfather went to heaven.

[I feel it important to note that she wrote these stanzas completely by herself; I only assisted her with formatting.]

She is eager to make the suggested changes (specifically indentions for emphasis as seen above).

Before class dismisses, I notify students that if I did not get to them today, I will start with them FIRST tomorrow. More students ask to add their names to my list. I keep a running record, visible on the board.

D. Thoughtful Reflection

o What went well? For whom? (specific examples from your documentation)?

Students connected positively with my personal memoir. They also appreciated how we tailored conferences to solve their questions and/or concerns. Through thoughtful prodding, I was able to guide most in their efforts. Other students, like M.B., even contributed and offered up recommendations. As much as possible, I took opportunities to brag on student writing. [More specific examples appear above.].

o Who struggled, why, and what did you do?

At this point, I am worried about those students who have not yet conferenced with me for an extended time. I hope to hear from them over the course of the next two days.

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o What would you do differently if you taught this lesson again? How will this reflection inform your next lesson?

In the future, I want to be more proactive about giving students a checklist of possible points to conference on. I have a handout already created; however, I forgot to incorporate it into this unit. I also want to build in more purposeful conferencing time with peers. I overlooked what powerful resources my students can be to each other (especially if they are waiting on me).

Tomorrow, I need to make sure that I pick up my conferencing with J.Y.

Lessons 8-9 1:05-2:09 x 2


Days 8-9: Extended Writing Time

Have mentor texts of exemplary memoirs available for further study (accessible to all students).

Conference with students on progress. Brainstorm options for final products; show DLP video (made using MovieMaker) as an

out-of-the-box exemplar.

B. What actually happened…? What did you change and why?

I pulled mentor texts from Lessons that Change Writers by Nancie Atwell at the last minute. I also made copies of student work from last year. Multiple duplicates were stored at the front of the room and made accessible to everyone. Several students asked to bring their iPods to class during these two days (after seeing their peers take advantage of this option on earlier writing days).

On a side note, it seemed like every time we got into a groove with conferencing, class was interrupted by a phone call or an intercom announcement. We persevered though!


Class begins with me pushing “play” to my video, which showcases my grandmother and her influence on my life. Students are impressed with my delivery and want to know if they can make movies like this in the future. Thankfully, this is exactly the type of reaction I want. For now though, I encourage them to work on writing or typing their final drafts.

Another common response to my video is the desire from students to include more pictures in their final memoir. I encourage this, while reminding them that photographs can be equally powerful meaning-makers.

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I waste no time transitioning into conferencing, and I alert students that copies of exemplary memoir writing haven been placed on the front table. I nudge a few students (whose content matches that of the pre-selected mentor texts) to take a look.

Below appears an overview of my record-keeping sheet for the last two days:

J.Y. is first in line (as she was not met with yesterday). She is normally quiet, so I am eager to hear from her and to read her writing. J.Y. wants me to read her rough draft and to offer feedback. She wants to know if she is “done.”

I know from previous check-ins that she is writing about losing her mom. Her story starts with a reflection of her 9th birthday. She remembers her mom buying her a special toy. I ask her, “What toy?” J.Y. replies, “A penguin toy.” I know that J.Y. loves all things penguin; therefore, I follow-up with, “Is that why you love penguins so much?”

We have made a breakthrough, it seems. She is eager to go back to her desk and to continue writing.

After conferencing with J.Y., I stop to let students know that they can interrupt me if they have a quick question. I don’t want students sitting there for long periods of time if I can address their issue easily.

Next K.H. sits to conference. Kayla says, “I want some help making mine better. Maybe I should vary my word choice.”

I note that her intro is wonderful (it uses five senses and dialogue). At one point, she starts listing all of the names of the guests who attended her party. I suggest that the reader may not connect with all of these people. I encourage her to focus on the two names that reemerge throughout her story.

One of these two friends is described as annoying and self-centered. I ask K.H. to “show me.” K.H. seems to grasp what I’m asking of her and returns to her seat.

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C.H is next. His memoir is about his cat. He wants to know if he needs to add any elaboration. After reading his memoir, I challenge C.H. to provide more background on how he found the cat. I also want to know more about his relationship with the cat, specifically what led to them bonding.

N.V. approaches me and asks, “Does my piece show happiness?” “Good question!” I say. I ask her to add specific examples of what was going through her mind on confirmation day. She does a good job of providing background on the process leading up to this milestone in her life.

I call E.B. up to conference, knowing that we have not discussed his writing in a while. I learn that he has changed gears from describing an injury to talking about his pit bull. I reference a mentor text taken from Atwell’s book called, “Sarah.”

He seems inspired by it and carries it back to his seat as a model.

H.H. is next. I have not conferenced with her recently. I am excited to discover that she is writing a poem about her dad (originally her focus was on her brothers). I assist H.H. in deciding where to add some examples.

She decides to describe “cooking with him” as an activity that demonstrates the closeness of their relationship.

L.B. briefly shows me her writing before going out the door; I can tell that she took some of my recommendations from previous days to heart.

K.W. lingers for one more conference after the final bell. She is clearly interested in writing more memoirs. I quickly help her with her ending.

D. Thoughtful Reflection


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My students appreciated and truly valued the extended writing time. They left my room on day nine feeling successful and enthusiastic about sharing their writing with their peers and me. I took a poll and asked how many students wanted to share (since I’m not making presenting mandatory). 16 people raised their hands!!


I noticed that a few students were reluctant to conference with me; I called them up individually to check-in. I don’t believe they resented me doing this.

I’m worried about M.N. finishing by tomorrow. He struggles with turning his work in on-time. I make a point to encourage him individually, announcing, “I can’t wait to read your memoir tomorrow!”

o What would you do differently if you taught this lesson again?

My answer here mirrors what I mentioned in my last journal: In the future, I want to be more proactive about giving students a checklist to assess their own papers prior to conferencing. I believe doing this invites even more student-ownership and empowerment.

Lesson 10

1:05-2:09


Days 10: Celebrating our writing

Today, students will write a self-reflection on what they have learned during this two week writing workshop unit.

o Did you enjoy writing your memoir? o What did you learn from this unit/from conferencing with me? o Do you want to do more writing like this? o How have you grown as a writer?

Celebrate student writing with sharing time. o Give students the choice to share due to the personal content/nature of their

memoirs.

B. What actually happened?

Students smiled at me in the hall all morning; it was obvious that they were looking forward to my class. Upon entering the room, I asked them to get seated and to answer a few self-reflection questions posted on the SMARTboard. As they finished, students turned in their responses. We quickly passed around cookies, and I began calling on students to share. To establish order, I went in ABC order. Everyone had their paper except for M.N. (I was let down

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by this; however, he worked on his writing over the weekend and brought it in on Monday.) 20 students ended up sharing!


Below appears a comprehensive sampling of my students’ responses to the self-reflection:

Did you enjoy writing your memoir? -Yes, I have enjoyed writing my memoir.-No, because it brought back hard memories.-I did enjoy writing my memoir because it taught me how to express my feelings and thoughts through writing. It brought out emotions and expressions that I normally wouldn’t share with anybody.-I enjoyed writing my memoir.-I enjoyed writing my memoir a lot. It was very fun writing about things I love.-I enjoyed writing my memoir because it gave me a way to let my actual feelings out and to show others how I really feel.-Yes, I love when I get to choose what I write about.-Yes, I learned that writing does not have to be boring; it can be full of emotion.Yes, especially when we get to choose what we want to write about.-Yes, very much.-No, it was a lot more complicated than I thought.-Yes, writing about my memories makes me relive them.-Yes, but there were some things that were hard for me to write about.-This writing really helped me to release the past and to get more comfortable with myself.-Not at first…but then you told me I could use humor and sarcasm to tell my story.-Yes, a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-I did not enjoy the memoir writing, only because I LOVED it!

What did you learn from this unit/from conferencing with me? -I learned that writing a memoir can be a very emotional journey. Happy, sad, whatever it takes to get that emotion out.-I learned more about you.-I learned that I write better at night. I’m glad we got to take our notebooks home to do more writing if we wanted.-Conferencing with you really helped me decide what I wanted to write about. It also helped me to consider other possibilities.-I learned more about my past from talking to my family.-I learned how to use words on purpose to express my feelings. I also learned that a poem can bring out more emotions than a normal story.-I’ve learned that I invest more into my writing when I care.-I learned that through writing, we can express those feelings that we don’t want to say out loud.-I learned that the deepest writing comes from what means something to you.-You taught me that writing is not a thing, it’s a who. It has its own personality.-I learned that it’s easier to write more about something that’s important to you.

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-I learned how to take a story and turn it into a poem. I felt like I was able to perfect my writing during conferencing.-I learned a lot from this unit. I learned that you can write about your feelings and not have them in just diary form.-I learned more about Ms. Williams, and I learned that you can turn your memories into a great story.-I learned how to be more open about the sad subjects; my writing doesn’t always have to be upbeat.-I learned that when you have a story and turn it into a poem, it can be more powerful and interesting. From conferencing with you, I now understand what it means to “revise.” You helped me see where I was repeating.-I have learned that you can talk about your feelings in your writing, not just verbally.-I learned that I can do so much more than I thought I could. -I learned that there is always a better way to write something and that memoires can express raw emotion.-I learned how to write a great poem that made my step-mom cry because she was so proud of it.

Do you want to do more writing like this? -I really hope that we can write something similar to this in the future.-No.-I would like to do more writing like this; it was fun.-Yes, I want to share more.-Yes, I want more writing like this where we get to write most of the class period.-Yes!-I do want to do more writing like this where I can show how much I’ve grown.-Yes, it was fun.-I would love to do more writing like this, like I said, I love writing about things that I want to—it just interests me more.-Yes.-No, too hard.-Yes. I really enjoyed writing about my life instead of about a random topic.-I sure hope we get to do more writing like this in the future.-Yes, I’m already looking forward to our next genre study.-YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!!-Yes. -I would love to do more writing like this.-Yes, I felt free with this assignment.-I would very much enjoy more writing like this.

How have you grown as a writer?-Ever since I’ve been in your class, I feel like I’ve grown as a writer; all the descriptive writing techniques have strengthened my stories.-I have grown as a writer because now I feel like my stories are more alive and I know how to have fun with writing.-I feel like I am writing more now than at the beginning of the year.

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-I’ve grown as a writer from the “show, not tell” strategies. They help make my writing more descriptive.-I have grown A LOT.-I never thought I could write poetry. Now I can. About baseball!-Thank you for your help and patience Ms. Williams. You really helped me through the whole process. -Yes, I have more strategies to use now.-Yes, I have experimented with more writing techniques.-At the beginning of the year, I didn’t even like writing. Now I love it!-I understand what it means to engage my reader now.-I’ve grown as a writer with my poems.-I realized that you never stop growing as a writer.

**I’m attaching a few samples of final drafts, too. ENJOY! D. Thoughtful Reflection


I think my students’ responses (above) validate that this unit was a success. Overall, they maintained a high level of engagement. They LOVED being given student choice and ownership of their topic selections; receiving extended writing time; and seeing my own vulnerability and wiliness to take-risks in writing.


Based on the responses above, the main drawback to this unit for some students was that writing memoirs can be hard (especially if the memory is hard). Otherwise, struggles seemed circumstantial and were addressed head-on.

o What would you do differently if you taught this lesson again?

Next year, I may turn this memoir unit into a digital literacy project based on my kids’ reactions to my video. From here out, I want to deliver more writing instruction through the workshop framework. Students truly enjoyed having uninterrupted writing and conferencing time. Personally, I liked being able to keep the flow of writing going. In the past, I’ve only given classes two to three days a week of workshop time; completing this unit allowed me to see how that approach limited both my students’ and my full teaching potential.

From here, I need to assess my students’ writing and to assign a score to their memoirs. I’m attaching the rubric I plan to use in my email to you. My primary focus will be on ideas (whether or not students “showed” with their words, captured an emotion, and brought their memory to life).

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brooke’s teaching journals · web viewa. universally-designed lesson plan day s 6-7:...

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