bring out the best in people and in business with …...• what coaching really is • why and how...

Copyright © 2019 Jean-Francois Cousin All rights reserved www.greatness.coach

This presentation is for information purpose only and no representation or warranty is given in respect of

its accuracy, completeness or fairness. This presentation may not be copied, redistributed or published

(in whole or in part) without prior written consent of Jean-Francois Cousin

Bring out the best in people and in business

with coaching skills

23rd November 2019Jean-Francois Cousin, MCC

http://www.greatness.coach/


A facilitation by Jean-François Cousin,Executive Coach, in Thailand since 1998,

with 12 years of management experience in Asia

Highest coaching credentials Successful Clients+

• One of 7 Master Certified Coach in South Asia accredited by the “International Coach Federation1”

• Delivered over 9,000 hours of coaching and team facilitation since Oct ’06

• Former Managing Director of a Fortune-500Company in Thailand (1998-2004)

1 www.coachfederation.org


http://www.coachfederation.org/


Our workshop agenda

• What builds strong motivation and loyalty in employees

• Benefits of “questioning” vs “telling”

• What coaching really is

• Why and how coaching brings out the best in people

• Foundational skills for effective coaching

• Practice, skill by skill

• How coaching skills help you to negotiate successfully in business

• 10 Golden rules for effective coaching

• How to integrate coaching in management style, to boost the performance and autonomy of subordinates

• How coaching helps the success of the world’s most admired companies

• How ICF coaching competencies will help you become a great coach and bring out the best in people and in business



Your body-posture of confidence

• Adopt it to get your confidence (back)

and inspire others to trust you!



What is motivating people?(consistently)



Maslow’s hierarchy of needs& Herzberg’s motivation-hygiene theory

7 needs which account for most of our behaviors

Help Others

Learning Realize our own potential

Beauty / Harmony

Self-esteem, achievement Achieve, be competent, gain status

Relationships / Belonging Love, family, friends, affection

Safety / Security (=job-security @ work) Protection, stability

Physiological needs(= material rewards @ work)

“Hygiene”

factors

(‘must-have’)

Motivation

drivers



What impacts most on people’s emotions (+/-)

(De) Motivating factors (neuro-science)

Source: “Quiet Leadership” from David Rock

Self-esteem, achievement

Security

Autonomy / Freedom

Belonging to a group

Fairness / Justice



Remember one-time in your Life where you felt happiest, most energized / passionate / motivated …



Helping others

What was your main Motivation-Driverat that “time in your Life where you felt happiest

& most energized / passionate / motivated”…?

Status / Self-esteem

Certainty / Security

Autonomy / Freedom

Relationships / Belonging Fairness / Justice

Learning

Beauty / Harmony

Purpose

Watch “Motivation: simple actions with highest boost”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZZjW4G2X68


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZZjW4G2X68


10 simplest daily-management actions with highest pull on employees’ motivation

• Care (and show it!)

• Listen really

• Let go (empower)

• (Help to) Go for a ‘Dream’

• Create a Learning environment

• Support & Stretch

• Offer choices

• Acknowledge Significance

• Nurture Togetherness

• Love

• Build Pride in what is achieved

Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZZjW4G2X68&t=498s


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZZjW4G2X68&t=498s


Think of the best boss you ever had…What made him/her so great?



How much of his time wasJack Welsh coaching his people?

10% 100%80%50%

“Success is all about growing others”


http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0060753943/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-8464907-4910369


The simplest leadership model: « 3 C »

Challenge

CoachBuild Confidence

3 C

A LEADER...

• Makes key-choices

• Provides vision

• Aligns everyone

• Creates opportunities

• Inspires and motivates

• Builds Confidence

• Challenges and

• Coaches people

Source: Paul B. Thornton, 1999



To fly higher…help your people fly higher



How to you learn best?

… a useful initial question to coachees!



What’s the most effective and motivating way to learn?



Neurosciences explain the effectiveness of Coaching



Telling vs. questioning: the power of not knowing (better!)

Telling puts distance between people

Questioning brings people together

Fundamentally...



Mentoring = transfer of knowledge and experience to a colleague,to support her/him to embrace new opportunities,

succeed and develop self-confidence in her/his position.

The mentor usually belongs to the same organization as the ‘mentee’ / ‘mentoree’ / ‘protégé’

What is Mentoring?

Mentoring is usually conducted face-to-face and during a sustained period of time (typically one year), between a person who is perceived to have greater relevant knowledge, wisdom, or experience (the mentor) and a person who is perceived to have less (the “protégé”or the “mentee”) or the “mentoree”). Bozeman, Feeney, 2007



What is Coaching?

A real story from Dr. Bill Gould,

HR Director, Wall Street Institute



Coaching helps set-up an “achievement-attitude”

Fear, threat, control

Motivation, coaching

lead to

lead to

Avoidance

Achievementfocus

facto

rs



What is Coaching? … and what it is not

Coaching, to enhance job-performance=

helping people enhance (self) awareness, set their goals, think-through their issues and find their own solutions,

take action, perform better at work…and then… shift towards continuous progress

Focus on: behaviour, performance & satisfaction

Coaching is not transfer of knowledge / on-the-job training

Coaching is targeted on a particular aspect

A coach can belong to the organization or be external



What “is/is not” Coaching?

Coaching is… Coaching is not …• Effective Performance and

Development

• One time annual discussion to

appraise performance

• Continuous improvement • Disciplinary problems or issues

• Facilitating discovery • Directing someone to do

something to meet goals

• Creating a sense of responsibility

and awareness

• Being the expert and solving

problems for the others

• Building an atmosphere of trust,

honesty and respect for the

coachee

• Addressing personal issues



Impact of support vs challenge on subordinate’s development

Support

Challe

nge

High

HighLow

Low

GROWTH

ConfirmationStagnation

Retreat



What would you like to explore today?How is this important to you?

What would you like to walk away with?

•Adopt these questions when you start a coaching session



What does it take, to create a safe space for ourselves?



Becoming fully present



Let’s create a safer space for ourselves

• Absolute confidentiality

• Unconditional respect

• No judgment

• Partnership vs. dominance

• Create a safe space that way in

your coaching sessions



Mentee Mentor

Mentor’s posture



Coach Coachee

Most helpful coach’s posture: learner from the coachee



Rescuer(solves, self-sacrifices)

Victim(blames, complains)

Aggressor(imposes,

doesn’t cooperate)

Adult observer(questions, does not judge)

Move out of the “Victim – Aggressor – Rescuer” triangle


Copyright © 2019 Jean-Francois Cousin All rights reserved www.greatness.coach11/18/2019

Child

Parent

Adult

Child

Parent

Adult

Adopt an adult-to-adult posture



•Start of a session:• What would you like to explore today?• How is this important to you?• What would you like to walk away with?

•Build a safe space:• Absolute confidentiality • Unconditional respect• No judgment • Partnership vs. dominance

•Be fully present

•Exude healthy confidence

In summary: what makes a successful (internal) coach



Coaching fundamentals: build Awareness, Responsibility + help to take Actions

Enhance

AWARENESS

Encourage RESPONSIBILITY

forProgress

EnsureACTION

are taken



Coaching subordinates increases their

▪ Status

▪ Certainty

▪ Autonomy

▪ Relatedness (relationship)

▪ Fairness

… and makes them THINK!

Neuroscience now explains the effectiveness of Coaching and its motivating impact on coachees



What Coaching can do for you as a manager: enhance autonomy of your subordinates

Autonomy

Delegate more

Focus on priorities

Get more loyalty

WIN-WIN

Set goals Coach



Silence… is your Friend. Let it do the heavy work!It enhances coachee’s accountability



Ask for more Thinking

• ‘Tell me more’

• ‘What else?’

• ‘Anything else?’



Who really listens to you? How?



1. Keep silent -3 seconds minimum- after the speaker finishes his/her sentence,

and never interrupt!

2. Focus totally (on eyes, tone, words, body-language, emotions) & match/mirror

3. Stay neutral (do not express your views)

4. Ask clarifying, open-ended questions (e.g. “tell me more… Anything else?...”)

5. Paraphrase (= repeat what was said with your own words, to prove you listen)

Basics of ‘facilitative’ listening

Watch: video of a coaching session with facilitative listening

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8QaakmZK2M&feature=related


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8QaakmZK2M&feature=related


1. Keep silent -3 seconds minimum- after the speaker finishes his/her sentence, and never interrupt!





Exercise with your neighbor / ‘facilitative’ listening

Ask your neighbor:

“how do you feel when someone listens to you very well?”

… and practice facilitative listening ☺



Facilitative listening:

• improves your working relationships

• brings more insight to conversations

• helps people build-up clarity in their thinking

• role-models respect

• generates ownership for ideas, therefore motivation

DO

listen for emotionsDON’T

judge

‘Facilitative’ listening



‘Levels of thinking’



Use ‘levels of thinking’ / “hierarchy of ideas”

Explore the issue from different levels of thinking

“Chunking up” examples of up-lifting questions:• What is this an example of?• For what purpose…?• What is your intention?• Why?

“Chunking down”examples of specific questions:• What are examples of this?• What specifically…?• How exactly…?



Coaching is also coming-up with the right questions!

%

10 %

20 %

30 %

50 %

Read Hear See See &

hear

What weremember…

… fromwhat we …

80 %

Say

90 %

Say

& do



Do you want to have

fun?



Can we experiment

together?



What is your mindset now?



How can you adjust your mindset

to grow even more today?



How much thinking did it take?

1. Do you want to have

fun?

2. Can we experiment

together?

3. What’s your name?

4. How are you feeling

today?

5. Why are you here?

6. Who are you?

7. What is your mindset

now?

8. How can you adjust



Listening at deep level

Listen totally (eyes, tone, words choice, body-language, emotions, what is not said)



1. Keep silent -3 seconds minimum- after the speaker finishes his/her sentence, and never interrupt!





Listening at deep level



A B

What is the best* question

someone ever asked you?

1

Answers ☺2

Write the question

on a flipchart

What impact did it

have on your life?

How did it transform

you, as a person?

4

3

6

5

* = question thatlead to new thinkingand new insight



Let’s dissect…

anatomy of

your powerful

questions

Let’s play and

make questions

more powerful!

Let’s play and make questions more powerful!



More Powerful

Less Powerful

From less to more powerful questions…

WHY?

HOW?

WHAT?

WHO, WHEN, WHERE?

WHICH?

CLOSED QUESTIONS(=answer with 1 word)

YES/NO



More Powerful

Less Powerful

WHY,

HOW,

WHAT,

WHO,WHEN, WHERE,

WHICH, YES/NO QUESTIONS

• What is it about our working relationship that you find most satisfying?

• Why has our working relationshiphas had its ups and downs?

• Are you satisfied with our workingrelationship?

• When have you been most satisfied with our working relationship?

From less to more powerful questions…



Examples of (more or less) powerful questions(list to be adjusted / expanded)

• What’s important to you about (your specific situation) and why do you care?

• What draws you/us to this question?

• What is your intention here?

• What’s the deeper purpose (the big “why”) that is really worthy of your best effort?

• What opportunities can you see in (your specific situation)?

• What do you know so far/still need to learn about (your specific situation)?

• What are the dilemmas/opportunities in (your specific situation)?

• What assumptions do we need to test or challenge here in thinking about (your specific situation)?

• What would someone who had a very different set of beliefs than we do say about (your specific situation)?

• …



Examples of (more or less) powerful questions(list to be adjusted / expanded)

• What is the purpose? What is at stake? What is the bigger picture?

• What are the specific expectations you have from me / my team?

• What resources are available? What help will you provide?

• Which risks / threats / constraints can impact the project?

• What help can you bring to others? What support are you committing to deliver?

• What can you change in your behavior, so others adjust theirs?

• Who are you being that others react to what you do the way they do?

• What are the most important deliverables, in order of priority?

• What realistic dead-lines can we fix for each deliverables?

• How will we hold each other accountable for delivery?

• …



• ‘Coachee’ chooses one difficult friend/family member to relate with

• ‘Coachee’ tells the coach ‘I’d like to reflect and find out how I could relate with ‘(name)’ better’

• ‘Coach’ starts to listen and question the coachee

Let’s coach each other



Further-development needs for my coaching skills

“Which coaching skills do I most need to develop in my role

as a manager / father / mother / friend…?”

Coaching skillsPriority for

improvement



An effective framework for Coaching: A.G.O2.W.A.L.

GGoal-setting

WWay-forward

AActions!

LLessons learnt

AAwareness

O2

Obstacles &

Opportunities



10 Golden Rules for a Coach

2

Question, don’t tell, don’t judge4

Listen & use Silence5

6 Challenge, to get Best Ideas

1 Build Trust, Ensure Confidentiality

3

Establish Awareness

8

9

10

7 Request Actions

Follow-up on Actions

Hold Coachee Accountable

Motivate for Change

Anchor Lessons Learnt



How to integrate coaching in your management-style, to boost the performance and autonomy of your colleagues?



Ask coaching-style questionsin 1-on-1 business-review meetings

• Can you please summarize what’s going on?

• What are your priorities at the moment?

• What is going well?

• What do you want to improve?

• How can I help you?

• What feedback do you have for me?

Executive summary

Priorities

Lessons from successes

Problem solving

Support needed

Other opportunities

EXAMPLE

Source: Marshall Goldsmith ‘What got you here won’t get you there’



1. Ask a subordinate to list important tasks/objectives he/she has to work on

2. Ask him/her to rate his/her ability to deliver (on a scale from = very poor, to =excellent)

3. Ask him/her to rate his/her motivation to deliver (on a scale from =very low, to =very strong)

4. Discuss what tasks/objectives it makes best sense to focus coaching on

(for example: high ability + low motivation)

A simple tool to develop your people in 1-on-1 meetings

1

2

3

4

5

Tasks / Objectives

Task / objective 1

Task / objective 2

Task / objective 3

Task / objective 4

Task / objective 5

Ability Motivation

Ability

Motivation

12

3

3

5

NB: a possible refinement of this tool: dimension the diameter of tasks/objectives on the chart in proportion to their importance



How coaching helps younegotiate successfully in business?



How do you influence senior people?



• Build Trust with Authenticity and Listening

• Understand beliefs, needs, interests and fears

(through facilitative listening & powerful questioning)

• Generate a desire for change, through asking (not telling)

• Co-create solutions (as in a coaching session)

• Reach Clear Agreement (as in a coaching session)

• Follow through (as in coaching sessions)

Influencing skills



How ICF Coaching Competencies will help you become a great coach and bring out the best in people and in business

https://coachfederation.org/app/uploads/2017/12/CoreCompetencies.pdf





Story-telling together

‘Something important I learnt today is…’‘Yes, and…’‘Yes, and…’

Go 2 rounds!



Jean-Francois Cousin, MCCHanoi, 23rd November 2019

Why and how Coaching boosts the success of

tech companies the Silicon Valley’s



Group-sharing: what did you learn?What did you find the most interesting / important?



Greatness Leadership Coaching

Jean-Francois Cousin

@JF_Cousin

Website: www.greatness.coach


https://www.facebook.com/greatness.coach/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/greatnesscoach/

https://twitter.com/JF_Cousin



This presentation is for information purpose only and no representation or warranty is given in respect of

its accuracy, completeness or fairness. This presentation may not be copied, redistributed or published

(in whole or in part) without prior written consent of Jean-Francois Cousin

Bring out the best in people and in business

with coaching skills

23rd November 2019Jean-Francois Cousin, MCC



Gre

atn

ess L

ead

ers

hip

Co

ach

ing


https://www.facebook.com/greatness.coach




Resource(click on picture for access)

http://www.greatness.coach/book

On Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Game-Changers-Circus-Greatness-

Organizations/dp/981095655X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1446086545&sr=1-1


http://www.greatness.coach/book/


https://www.amazon.com/Game-Changers-Circus-Greatness-Organizations/dp/981095655X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1446086545&sr=1-1


Resource(click on picture for a preview)

Available on Amazon (paperback and ebook)


https://www.amazon.com/Game-Changers-Circus-Greatness-Organizations/dp/981095655X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

bring out the best in people and in business with …...• what coaching really is • why and how...

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