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7/27/2019 Brilliant Reviews

1/3

Can you handle another Phantom Menace review? Probably not, buthaving seen this again recently I thought I'd add my view on such a

widely discussed film.

The film is regarded by just about anyone who has seen it as a

disappointment. However there are some who say it's onlydisappointing merely because the hype was so huge that nothing could

possibly live up to the expectation. Apart from that, some say, it was agreat movie.

This is not a good movie.

I am not really a Star Wars fan, although I don't dislike it either. I sawthe original 3 in the years when they came out, and enjoyed them

from a childs perspective. (BTW if you wonder of the original Star Wars

really did make a cultural impact, you bet, it was huge at the time.) Sothis is not the view of a disappointed fanboy, just the view of someone

who found the film lacking.

Firstly I'll get one thing right out of the way, right here. You knowwhat I'm talking about. Him. Jar Jar Binks. Hype can cut both ways I

think, positive hype can lead to disappointment, yet negative hype can

have the same result. When people refer to Mr Binks as "a mistake ofApocalyptic proportions" and there are websites devoted to finding

inventive ways of killing him, I was expecting something so insanelyannoying that I feared I might destroy my TV. He walks stupidly, talks

stupidly, gets too much screen time, but I never found him asaggravating as I expected. I would still much preferred if he wasn't inthe movie though!

No, the real problem is not with Jar Jar Binks. The real problem I found

is that even after having seen this film 3 times, I'm still not sure what

it was all about. The plot is so weak and meandering that boredominevitably sets in. I know there's something about a blockade and a

trade war, but the political shenanigans of Senator Palpatine andQueen Amidala are just so vague that it's hard to know what's going

on. Only the presence of sudden ominous music will wake you fromtorpor and make you think "Whu? Oh he must be the bad guy then?Hmmm, yeah whatever" There is no real defined point to what's

happening to the characters. With, say, Jaws, we know that the sharkis going to have to be killed. In Lord Of The Rings we know The Ring

must be destroyed. In The Phantom Menace we know.....weknow...um....Well I don't know really.


2/3

Apart from that all the flaws that have been mentioned about this filmare unfortunately true;

Wooden acting. There's no real interaction between characters, they

just seem like reading grocery lists to each other. When Liam Neesons

character says "Be careful, I feel a disturbance in The Force" itwouldn't sound out of place if he added "If they have any

decaffeinated coffee left, get some, thanks" It's not the actors fault, Iknow they're better than this. In contrast with the antagonism

displayed between most of the "good" characters in the original films

(sarcastic wisecracks aplenty) everyone here seems largely bored ineach others company. Obi Wan is relegated to largely a mild mannered

yes man to...uh....forgot his name, the one with the fake beard. I can'toffhand remember any lines from this movie apart from the derided

"I've got a bad feeling about this" Oh and "Yippee!" too. Jake Lloyd

just seems too out of place with his bland "Mom are we out ofCheerios?" approach to acting. There are some terrible cast choices

too, mostly with Samuel L Jackson. I like the guy, and he's a greatactor, but he just isn't a Jedi Knight. He was just too well known at the

time to play such an out of character role. Only Jason Robards dressedin a toga playing Brutus springs to mind as a better

example of bad casting.

The aliens are all either silly like Jar Jar Binks and Pod race announcer,

or grating racial stereotypes. I don't believe that Lucas consciouslydecided to make them so, but how can anyone not see that the evil

Trade guys are Oriental caricatures? And just look at that goofy, happylooking egg headed alien at the pod race. *That* was the exactmoment when I thought "This movie is bombing"

No real tension. Yes it's a common fault with prequels, we know Obi

Wan survives, we know Anakin survives, we know wholesome George

won't kill off the "comic relief" character in case the kiddies get upset.The battle droids are there to shoot holes in walls and get cut down by

the Jedis.

The midi chlorians. I understand many Star Wars fans *hate* thisidea, that it demystifies The Force. Well, I'm not such a fan as to reallyhate it, but it does seem pretty nonsensical. How do organisms in the

blood make you able to move things around, or do mind tricks?

The immaculate conception of Anakin. I'm not religious so I take nooffence, except for what a monumentally pretentious bit of twaddle

this is.


3/3

Anakin destroying the ship by pure fluke was a really lazy and

disappointing finale.

And there are just too many inconsistencies in character and

believability. Best example of course that Anakin built C3-PO. Prettyimpressive for a 9 year old kid who's a slave. Where did he get the

money? I guess George loves his soap operas and what's to throw allthese unexpected plot twists to the audience. I was half expecting Han

Solo to be revealed as Luke's uncle.

In general just about every ham fisted directorial mistake that can be

made, is made by Lucas here. This film should become a textbook caseof the danger of letting just one person have too much control over

the final outcome of a(highly anticipated) film.

It's not all bad. Visually, it's quite pleasing actually. Many say that this

is where Lucas abandoned storyline for CGI toys. Well, the CGI ain'tbad, but it's not really much beyond Jurassic Park. But CGI looks

unnatural most of the time too no matter how well done. When yousee a silvery CGI spaceship you don't see a futuristic space vehicle,

you wonder "I wonder how long it took the computer graphics team to

add the reflection mapping on?" For me the meagre enjoyment I gotfrom this film was the sets and backdrops. Yeah, George probably only

nudged the graphics designers in the right direction and they tookover, but a lot of it is aesthetically pleasing. And the pod race of

course is the standard Star Wars obstacle course race. It's engagingfor a while, but actually the PC racing game was more entertaining.And the battle with Darth Maul complete with John Williams score, is, if

you're forgiving, quite good.

Overall I can't recommend this movie much. Most Star Wars fans will

be disappointed to various degrees (some have such a strong aversionto this, that they disown it) The feeling of Star Wars is largely absent

here, it unfortunately comes across a Disney movie in space. (Hey, I'msure even Disney's The Black Hole was a lot more serious than this.)

The average viewer like me will be largely bored at the aimlessness ofit.

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