Braveheart Writers

Braveheart Writers10 secrets to quality writing

Words of WisdomNothing is more dangerous than an idea

If it is the onlyone you have

Family Quilt

Tell the story ofA time you could have been killedA pet story- ie the birth/death of a pet, favourite memoryWhen the weather had an impact on youThe first time you did something (school appropriate)A time you moved somewhereA memory, good or bad, connected to a specific foodSomething you found that was wonderful or a bargain you gotA time when you were treated unfairlyA birthstory- yours, or someone elsesSelect a time I could have been killedYou can write about 40 words per minuteWrite for 5 minutesPut your name on the topBe sure it is not so private that it cant be shared (you may have to read it out loud or someone else may be reading it)Secret #1Start in the Middle of the Action

Jurassic ParkDont start with the details- Here is DNA, in blood of mosquito, trapped in amber, cloned, put into a park

Instead: Show some action like the Tyrannosaurus Rex chasing someone or eating something we can only partially see

Air Force OneNot- The president has been in Europe and is on his way home in Airforce OneBut- Night raid on a place where there are hostages

Grade 6 Birth StoryMy Mom and Dad were off to the hospital that I was born in called Lutheran Medical Centre. It was December 5th, 1996. The hospital was in Denver, Colorado. My parents entered the hospital at 3 in the afternoon and I was born shortly before midnight.During the birth there were many complications. The first problem with me was that the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck.Final Grade 6 story Get a clamp. Dr. Hill shouted frantically, the cord has broken and I cant stop the bleeding! The nurses moved about nervously trying to save the babys life. The cord was finally clamped and the baby was passed to the mother for her to hold for a minute before being whisked away.When I was born my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck.

Authors Club SuggestionsWhat we really liked about your piece was...Our suggested opening is...Our suggested places for 3 quotations are...

Authors Club StepsStudents sit in groups of 4. The piece they look at is NOT from their group.Teach a mini lessonEach group reads from their assigned piece, following directions from the lesson they actually write changes.The authors join the group and listen to feedback. They do NOT have to use it.Authors share what they learned with others.

Angelo Le Frogs Plot OutlineAngelo has been born with short back legs; he cant jump 20 times his length.

Consequences: vulnerable to predators, unattractive to girls

Tries several things, including pogo sticks, stretchers, power thrusters, and finally has surgery The StatisticStart your story with a statistic that will interest your reader (when this is fictional you can make it up)

Eight out of 10 frogs never make it from the tadpole stage to the mating stage, and for a while it looked like I would be one of them.

The QuestionA question gets the reader thinking about the problem your story might have.Have you ever had the feeling that life was passing you by? That no matter how hard you tried you just couldnt keep up? My name is Angelo LeFrog and that had been my feeling ever since, as a tadpole, I grew hind legs that were just too small.

The HookA statement about the possible future consequences of the characters actions hooks the interest of the reader.I knew that when I turned on the power thrusters I might be sorry for the rest of my life- and that it might be a rather short one.The QuotationA quotation starts your story in a lively way.

Look out, move back, I think hes going to crash into something, was the last thing I heard as I turned on my power thrusters. My name is Angelo LeFrog...

The CharacterIntroduce an interesting character and your reader wants to know more.

If Angelo LeFrog had only been smooth skinned, deep green, witty, smart and as handsome as a frog can be, it might not have mattered that his back legs were only a little bit bigger than his front legs.

Words of WisdomPlay the writing game with fear and arrogance. If you want to:-get high marks- please your teacher

-Be an award winning writer- please yourself

-Be a GREAT writer-please your reader!Secret #2Characters Live in a SettingDont write a descriptionHave your characters walk around in it, touch it, use it

Bringing a setting to lifeNOT- the heavy marble table dominated the room

BUT- Angela edged carefully around the huge marble table in the centre of the room, and as she leaned up against it she felt a chill run down her spine from the cold surface.

Stay with what the character knowsThe age, experience, and knowledge of your characters will affect how they respond to a space

A fishermans son on the beachJon trudged across the sand, naturally seeking the hard packed area. Shading his eyes to scan the waves, he stepped over a half-buried piece of driftwood, automatically avoiding the ridge of rotting kelp washed ashore. The sky was turning grey, and the wind, straight off the water, meant there would be a storm tonight. He was relieved to see the dot of his fathers boat heading in. The terns and petrels wheeled overhead, screaming their quarrels.

A city kid on the same beachAndrew clutched his ars about him as the freezing wind blew off the water in the late afternoon. Head down, he tripped(again) over a half-buried piece of driftwood and almost stumbled into a pile of stinking seaweed. Those birds overhead sounded like they might let loose on him. His new Doc Martens were soaked through. So much for the romance of the sea.

Reflect the character in the settingHow the character feels will influence how he or she responds to the environmentSpunky Jesse in Scotland on the moorsAcross the yellow blossoming gorse, and up the rolling hill, Jess could see a tumble of stones on the next tor as her guidebook called it. Flicking dandelions with her walking stick, Jesse headed up the hill towards the ruins. She admired the lichen-covered granite boulders and the mushrooms clustered in fairy circles near rotting logs. The shrill falcons cry was a long way from Mrs. Crunchleys grade 5 class.

Lost frightened Lynne in Scotland on the moorsLynnes ankles were sore where they had been rubbed raw by her new hiking boots and the rocks that had looked so much like a cottage were just rocks-from some kind of collapsed tower. The granite boulders covered with lichen looked like leaning gravestones. Mushrooms, possibly poisonous, clustered on a rotting stump. It was deathly quiet except for the sudden shrill cry of a bird. Close to tears, Lynne imagined it was a vulture waiting to pick at her dead white bones.

We think differentlyFind some pictures in National Geographic to give your students. Give them a copy to inspire them.Put your two characters in the scene to walk around.Provide your characters with a problemHave your characters respond two entirely different ways to the same problem

LostWere lost, he said. Its hopeless. Well never make it.We can do anything. she responded. Were champions. Champions never say its hopeless.OK, its not hopeless. Its completely ghastly, critically dangerous, not to say desperate.Buck up, she said. Champions dont whine.

Assign one setting, make me see two characters: Cloakroom poemSlipping into the cloakroom, eyes downcastClutching her denim backpack against her thin chest,Glancing up from under long brown fringes,Jostled by other students arriving,Slipped one arm unobtrusively out of the faded blue parka.Turned, Sorry, as ginger freckles bumped her arm Slides her other arm freeSilently reaching up to place the parka securely on the hookAnd silently, gently, head down, enters the classroom

Assign one setting make me see 2 characters-Cloakroom poemInto the cloakroom, head turned to laugh at friends behind,Bumping, Oops, and giggling againHead back, curls bouncing, eyes shining with delightShrugging shoulders out of her suede green anorakDropped to the ground, Oops, clumsy me, laughing againDropping to her knee,Look out! Look out! with gleeAnd rising, smile in place, drops the parka on the hookAnd happily, Lets see whats happening, enters the classroom.

Assign one setting, make me see two characters in that setting-ideasTwo children learning to ride a bike

Two students in the library

Two schoolyard lunches

Words of Wisdom: You get good at what you do a lot of.People always told me that my natural ability and good eyesight were the reasons for my success. They never talked about the practice, practice, practice.

Secret #3- Slam Dunk Echo creates a powerful endingCreate a lineThe tigers danced.Try to create a metaphorical feeling.The sinuous tigers danced the dance of whispering grass, the murmuring stream, and the rumbling thunder.At the end, repeat the imagery with a variationThe grass still whispers. The stream murmurs still, and deep in the mountains the thunder rumbles-but the sinuous tigers, they no longer dance.

A second sampleLine: Jesse was spunky and would bounce back from problems.Metaphor- Jesse was a basketball, curvy, strong and ready to bounce back.Close: Jesse was happy. She like being curvy. She loved being strong. And problems were something to bounce back from.I am the Mummy Heb-NefertI am the mummy Heb Nefert black as night, stretched as tight as leather on a drum... Once I was the daughter of a nomarch, favored, beautiful, but all things change.

I am the Mummy-EndingI am the mummy Heb-Nefert, black as night, stretched as tight as leather on a drum. Once I was beautiful.

Chicken Sunday-openingShe had a voice like slow thunder and sweet rain. (paragraph 2)

Chicken Sunday-CloseSometimes, when we are especially quiet inside, we can hear singing. A voice that sounds like slow thunder and sweet rain. (last paragraph)

Words of WisdomThe creative geniuses of art, writing, and science work obsessively.

They do not lounge under apple trees waiting for an apple to fall or for lightning to strike.

Secret #4Generalize to a life lessonCinderellas RatOpening....I was born a rat. I expected to be a rat all my days. But life is full of surprises.Closing... Life is full of surprises, so you might as well get used to it.

Secret #5Let your characters duel.The character duelsHe lightly balanced on his feet, still strong, barely feeling the pain of the slash to his left arm. The hot blood dripped slowly. Squinting into the sun he gritted his teeth and once again raised his rapier. He swallowed hard and felt his hand, slippery with sweat on the leather hilt behind the guard, but with no other option he touched his opponents blade and resolutely began again.

Shy Old fashioned woman vs middle aged bikerDescribe them arriving at a wedding and going up the steps of the church (use all five senses-taste, touch, smell, sight, sound)

Secret #6Let em rantSailor with ExplorerI should have taken a different job. We havent seen land for days, just endless waves. Birds dont even fly out this far from land. Our drinking water is disgusting-we have to push the scum aside. The food is down to salted fish and hard tack-and my teeth are already feeling loose. And the worst thing is, we dont know if it will ever end. Were going to Asia? Every sailor knows its the other way.

Fairy Godmother RantSometimes I dont know why I even try. There I was, just sitting around in the clouds, planning on having a bagel with some Philadelphia cream cheese, when I heard my godchild Cinderella sobbing in the cinders. One of the things I have always wondered about her is, Why does she sit in the cinders? Its messy and dirty. Anyways, even though I had been looking forward to my bagel, I popped right on down.

Fairy Godmother cont.So I understood the problem right away. The stepsisters have ruined her dress and she cant go to the ball, blah, blah, blah. Well my wand wasnt really charged up for this much work, but if I do say so myself, I conjured up an amazing dress. The problem was that the magic would expire at midnight.I warned her, and I dont want to complain, but I think she is quite vain. She was smiling at her reflection in the glass slippers and I was pretty sure she wasnt paying attention to my warning.

Fairy Godmother EndWhen I think back on it, I should have zapped her to the ball, but no. I had to go showing off and creating a coach, a coachman, and a footman from a pumpkin, a rat and some mice.Of course, they were REALLY annoyed, and I am scheduled for a hearing before the Rat and Mice Rodents Union, so, what I mean is, you always end up paying for it later when you do something too quickly.Sometimes I dont know why I even try.

Try theseThe disgruntled tooth fairyThe young bee (or ant or butterfly or salmon) complainsThe dwarf mentions that their house has been taken over by Sleeping Beauty

Secret #7Vary your sentencesVarying sentencesRound octopus eyes stared blankly. Like a sagging belly, the body expanded and contracted with each breath. Undulating arms curled and uncurled lazily. Beckoning delicately, the little white suckers flashed as each arm rolled.

How to...Take one paragraphCount the number of words in each sentence. Make some longer and some shorter.Underline all the subjects and verbs. Change the sentence so that sometimes the subject and verb is near the beginning and other times later in the sentence.Create subordinate clauses to join sentences together as needed.Although the octopus was 10 feet long from tip of arm to the head, it could squeeze itself under a rock.

Words of WisdomIn Composing, as a general rule, run your pen through every second word- you have no idea how much it will improve your style.Sydney Smith-authorSecret #8The metaphor is more powerful than the simile

My bird hands peck across the piano keys, delicately stepping sideways, now scampering, now pausing to dig out a wormy note, back and forth across the piano lawn, then, released at last, soaring out to the baseball field.ComparisonThe Proficient Teacher uses metaphor to help students understand concepts and encourages students to do so as well.Charlotte Danielson, Enhancing Professional Practice

ComparisonIdentifying SIMILARITIES and DIFFERENCES can result in a 45% gain in student achievement.Robert Marzano, Classroom Instruction that Works

Simple SampleAs spikey as a pineapple Rough as a Stone Wall Bumpy like the road Pointed like a spike A cone spiralling up and up Stripey as toothpaste It is like an ice cream cone at the seaside.Grade 3, Private Eye

Metaphor conversionMy shell is pineapple spikyStone wall roughRoad BumpySpike pointedAn up up spiral coneToothpaste stripeyA delicious seashore Ice Cream cone

Benjamin FranklinThe body of B. Franklin, printer an old book cover Its contents torn out And stripped of its lettering and gilding Lies here, food for worms. But the work shall not be lost For it will (as he believd) appear once more In a new and more elegant edition Revised and corrected, By the author

Martin Luther KingWe have a powerGreater than gunsGreater than ammunitionGreater than hand grenadesWe have a power.

Secret to Comparison-fastStep 1Open with your two things you will be comparingStep 2Similarities (2-3 sentences)Step 3Differences (2-3 sentences)Step 4Conclude- more similar or more differentStep 5Rewrite the opening and closing to grab the reader

Explorers vs AstronautsThink categories

FoodShipFundingDanger

Words of WisdomWriting quality is like water glass. A so-so piece is like a jam jar-hit it with your fingernail and you get an uninspiring tung soundA good piece of writing-like a well blown piece of glass, produces a pleasing tangBut a beautiful Waterford Crystal piece of writing, beautifully created, when all the molecules march in step, and the stars align, gives you an unmistakable awe inspiring ting

Secret #9If you used an adverb, you needed a stronger verb

Stronger verbsWalk slowly or...AmbleStrollMeanderDawdleRambleRun quickly or...

-Charge-Fly-Scamper-GallopRunning around ABCInteresting verbs describing motion of the feet-such as run or walkABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Running around ABCInteresting verbs describing motion of the feet- such as run or walkA- amble, ambulate, ascendB-bound, bounce, boogie, bobC-creep, crawl, climb, careen, clamber, canter, cruise, cavort, caperD-dance, drag, dash, dart, descendE-elude, evade, enterEating ABCInteresting verbs describing eating-such as chew or swallowA-attackB-bite, browse, break (bread)C-chew, chomp, champ, crunch, crush, consume, cram, chow(down)D-devour, dine, digest, dig (in), drinkE-eat, envelop

Secret #10Blank Mind- Try reversingReversing

The Salmon and the Environment orHow to Destroy the SalmonA Modest ProposalI have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child, well nursed, is at a year old, a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked or broiled...

Jonathan Swift, 1729, Gullivers Travels- For preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from being a burden to their parents or their country, and for making them beneficial to the public

How to destroy the SalmonFrom time before time, the Haida seemed to instinctively recognize the evil that is the salmon- you can see it in their carvings. The important thing in our modern times is to identify the best ways to wipe out this ancient scourge.

More Salmon1. Chop down the trees so that spawning beds silt over.2. Allow chemical and fertilizer runoff into the streams to upset the water balance. Repeat with the effluent of untreated sewage.3. Place dams on the river. With them build few and inadequate fish ladders.4. Allow extensive legal and illegal fisheries in the rivers, particularly in the eddy where fish rest before they proceed.

More Salmon5. Put fish farms with lice at the entrance to the rivers in order to infect the fingerlings who do make it to the sea6. Send deep sea boats to run giant fish nets out at sea to scoop up anything passing byWhile we have been implementing these 6 steps for some time, the salmon still survive, although weakened. We must redouble our efforts.

Other possibilities10 reasons not to go with Columbus10 reasons to kill the first white people you saw land10 ways to get killed at the Fraser River gold rushEliminating the scourge of the bee... (frog, mosquito etc)The return of the hunter gatherer: 10 ways to avoid developing a civilization8 ways Spartans are better than Athenians

The End