With the 5 Key Nutrients

Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!With the 5 Key Nutrients

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Doom Cycle

Bloom Cycle

Vs.

Whether you are fully aware of it or not, you are in one cycle or the other

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Cycle CycleVs.

WHY WE DOOM

Finances

“ONENESS BROKEN”

Health

Passions/Hobbies

Family

3

Friends Culture

Kids Career

Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you…through painful toil…all the days… Gen. 3

AddictionsLoss

HOW WE BLOOM

Finances

“ONENESS SUSTAINED”

Kids

Health

Passions/Hobbies

Family

4

Friends Culture

KidsCareer

…they will become one flesh Gen. 2:24Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph. 5:21

Addictions

Loss

WHY WE MUST BLOOM

5

God patterned them after Himself. Gen. 1:27…so that we can be mirrors that reflect His glory 2Cor. 3:18

What it takes to BLOOM!What it takes to BLOOM!The 5 key nutrients:The 5 key nutrients:

••Commit to LoveCommit to Love••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect

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••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect••Be Gracious & ForgiveBe Gracious & Forgive••Choose the Right WordsChoose the Right Words••Seek a Greater PurposeSeek a Greater Purpose

Signs you are lacking the 5th nutrient

� You experience a lack of spiritual integration as a couple

� You are struggling to pray together as a couple� You feel like you are being held back by the other

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� You feel like you are being held back by the other from living into your passion

� You feel you lack a greater purpose for your marriage and or family

� You and your spouse have yet to clarify values and goals for you marriage and family

N1: N1: COMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVECOMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVEHOW FULL IS YOUR LOVE TANK?

AGAPE

Love LanguagesWordsQuality TimeGiftsActs of Service

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EROS

FILOActs of ServicePhysical Touch

with cherish

she responds

he responds without

“DOOM”“DOOM”

N2: CHERISH & RESPECT N2: CHERISH & RESPECT “LL=CR”“LL=CR”

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with respect

respondsresponds

she reacts

he reacts

without respect

without cherish

“BLOOM”“BLOOM”

Without G&F Without G&F With G&F With G&F

N3: BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVEN3: BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVE

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“oneness lost”“oneness lost” attitude + rec. process attitude + rec. process “oneness gained”“oneness gained”

N4: N4: CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS

REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”

RESPONDING

Listen

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REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”

Listen

Clarify Thoughts

Identify Feelings

Right Tone, Time, Words

Pray, Compromise, Forgive

DOOMING Myth #5: God’s purposes for your marriage will naturally evolve

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BLOOMING Truth #5:God purposes for your marriage must be sought and intentionally lived into

What you will gain from this 5th nutrient� How to more naturally integrate God into your life/marriage

� Identify the road blocks to praying?� Opportunity to identify your what you are truly passionate about?

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passionate � How to identify God’s marriage purpose statement and values for your relationship or family ?

� Opportunity to regain oneness by identifying short and long term goals as individuals and couples?

� Opportunity to identify the passion and holy discontent God has placed on your heart?

N5: N5: SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSEThe Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. Psalm 138:8

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N5: N5: SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSE

Each have a two-fold purpose on earth

Character = BEING And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him, reflecting him like a mirror.

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more and more like him, reflecting him like a mirror. 2Cor. 3:18

Accomplishment = DOINGFor we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Eph. 2:10

Here’s a story of a Doom Cycle

�Jim and Jan exhibit signs that they really need Nutrient #5….

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Nutrient #5….

Here’s a story of a Bloom Cycle

�Wayne and Casey really found oneness through integrating

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integrating nutrient #5 into their marriage

“People seldom hit

what they

do not aim at.”

Thoreau

“If you aim at nothing you’re

sure to hit it every time.”

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“

The place God calls you is the place where your deep joy

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deep joymeets the world’s deep need.

Fredrick Buechner

N5: N5: SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSE

By prayerfully & intentionally clarifying:

-Marriage/Family Purpose Statement-Marriage/Family Passage-Values (3-7)

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-Values (3-7)-Passions (holy discontent/life giving)-Dreams-Goals (short term/long term)

N5: N5: SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSE

PRAYER: reveals His purposes

WHY WE DON’TBelief issues Pride

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The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you .” Psalm 32:8

PrideLack the skillLack a plan Tired/Other Urgencies

HOMEWORK: HOMEWORK:

SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESpend time praying together and then discuss and list the following:

-Marriage/Family Purpose Statement

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-Marriage/Family Purpose Statement-Marriage/Family Passage-Values (3-7)-Passions (holy discontent/life giving)-Dreams-Goals (short term/long term)

Bonus: In the next 6 weeks, write a note of recommitment