bloom check-up-slides11911-pdf
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This is the slide that has been updated for our 1-19-11 webinar.TRANSCRIPT
How to Escape the Doom Cycle and Start to Bloom
BLOOM!BLOOM!How to Escape the Doom Cycle and Start to Bloom
© Mass Ignition1
There is Good News and there is Bad News
© Mass Ignition2
there is Bad News for All Marriages
Bad News
Marriages were built to Fail
© Mass Ignition3
Marriages were built to Fail
Good NewsMarriages were designed for
© Mass Ignition4
Marriages were designed for your fullness of life and for
God’s glory
Doom Cycle
Bloom Cycle
Vs.
Whether you are fully aware of it or not, you are in one cycle or the other
© Mass Ignition5
Cycle CycleVs.
The Challenge:Most people don’t know how to
© Mass Ignition6
Most people don’t know how to effectively assess whether they are in Doom or Bloom….why?
Trusts in the LORDDelights in the law of the LORDOn his law meditates day and night
Leaves are always greenNever fails to bear fruitDoes not wither in the heat
Does not walk in the counsel of the wickedHeart is deceitful above all things
© Mass Ignition7
Question: How do youknow the health of your marriage?
© Mass Ignition8
marriage?
Brian Brian RhenRhen::•• Pastor• Marriage Coach• Married• Kids
© Mass Ignition9
• Kids
5 Myths That 5 Myths That May Doom May Doom
Your Marriage!Your Marriage!
© Mass Ignition10
Your Marriage!Your Marriage!
Myth #1: Wedding vows are the most important commitment you
© Mass Ignition11
most important commitment you make
Myth #2: Most spouses know the other’s needs
© Mass Ignition12
other’s needs
Myth #3: Certain things cannot be forgiven
© Mass Ignition13
be forgiven
Myth #4: Communication gets better over time
© Mass Ignition14
better over time
Myth #5: God’s purposes will naturally evolve
© Mass Ignition15
naturally evolve
Myth #1: Wedding vows are the most important commitment you
© Mass Ignition16
most important commitment you make (The Uncertain Couple)
COMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVECOMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVE
DAILY
This is my command: Love (agape) each other. John 15:17
© Mass Ignition17
YEARLY
SEASONALLY
COMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVECOMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVE
-WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT -QUALITY TIME -GIFTS
5 Love Languages
© Mass Ignition18
-GIFTS-ACTS OF SERVICE -PHYSICAL TOUCH
CHECKUP QUESTION #1
How often do you re-commit to sacrificially loving?
© Mass Ignition19
sacrificially loving?
Committed to love?wife
complete
© Mass Ignition20
Committed to love?
husband
completeroom to improve
room
to im
prove
Myth #2: Most spouses know the other’s needs (The Card Carrying
© Mass Ignition21
other’s needs (The Card Carrying Couple)
CHERISH & RESPECT CHERISH & RESPECT However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33
with cherish
she he
© Mass Ignition22
with respect
she responds
he responds
she reacts
he reacts
without respect
without cherish
CHECKUP QUESTION #2
What is the degree you are currently cherishing (your
© Mass Ignition23
currently cherishing (your wife) and respecting (your husband?)
Cherished and Respected?
wife
respectin
g
© Mass Ignition24
Respected?
husband
cherishingroom to improve
room
to im
prove
Myth #3: Certain things cannot be forgiven (The Startup Couple)
© Mass Ignition25
be forgiven (The Startup Couple)
BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVEBE GRACIOUS & FORGIVEBear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you
may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
Grace leaves space for
Forgivenessreleases
© Mass Ignition26
space for error
“an attitude”
releases
“a process”
CHECKUP QUESTION #3
How capable are you of being gracious and of forgiving?
© Mass Ignition27
gracious and of forgiving?
Gracious and Forgiving?
wife
complete
© Mass Ignition28
husband
completeroom to improve
room
to im
prove
Myth #4: Communication gets better over time (The Yelling
© Mass Ignition29
better over time (The Yelling Couple)
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSEveryone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
Argument REACTING the other
Destructive offensive, names, sarcasm, violent = scarring
© Mass Ignition30
Disagreement REACTING issue
Harsh defensive, personalities arise = separating
Normal dialogue RESPONDING each other
Kind attentive, encouraging = supporting
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCIRCUMSTANCE
EMOTIONS Hurt, Fear, Want, Joy
THOUGHTS
© Mass Ignition31
Hurt, Fear, Want, Joy
3 sec.
with self REACT“FLESH”
with GodRESPOND “SPIRIT”
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”
RESPOND
“GRACE
© Mass Ignition32
REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”
“GRACE
&
TRUTH”
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”
Listen
Clarify Thoughts
© Mass Ignition33
REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”
Clarify Thoughts
Identify Feelings
Right Tone, Time, Words
Find Compromise
CHECKUP QUESTION #4
Are you using the right words in your communication?
© Mass Ignition34
in your communication?
Myth #5: God’s purposes will naturally evolve (The Chaotic
© Mass Ignition35
naturally evolve (The Chaotic Churchgoing Couple)
SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSEThe LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8
People
seldom hit
what they
do not
© Mass Ignition36
do not
aim at.”
Thoreau
SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSE
•Marriage Purpose Statement•Marriage Verse•Values (being)
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8
© Mass Ignition37
•Values (being)•Goals (doing)•Dreams•Prayer
CHECKUP QUESTION #5
How purposeful is your marriage?
© Mass Ignition38
your marriage?
BLOOM!
Where are you?
© Mass Ignition39
Where are you?
FINAL CHECKUP FINAL CHECKUP Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) -- 5(strong)5(strong)
______Commit to Love______Cherish & Respect
© Mass Ignition40
______Cherish & Respect______Be Gracious & Forgive______Choose the Right Words______Seek a Greater Purpose
Do you want to grow in Do you want to grow in any of these five areas?any of these five areas?
© Mass Ignition41
A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE
Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE
© Mass Ignition42
•• 55--weeksweeks of live webinars of live webinars (1 per week)•• 11--yearyear of group of group teletele--coaching coaching (1 per month)•• LifetimeLifetime access to recorded materials access to recorded materials (including updated materials)•• 55--weeks weeks of follow-up e-course (1 per •• 55--weeks weeks of follow-up e-course (1 per week)
© Mass Ignition43
•• ConvenientConvenient –– take from home
•• RepeatableRepeatable –– review anytime
•• Normally Normally $625 for 5-weeks
•• Only $249 for signing up today
•• < $50 < $50 per session per couple
•• 30-day money-back guarantee
© Mass Ignition44
•• 15% 15% of proceeds donated
••Wings of Hope Wings of Hope –– radio-based marriage
ministry in Malawi
© Mass Ignition45
When is Bloom?When is Bloom?
5 Wednesdays
Time: 7:30 PM – 9:00 PST
Starts February 2, 2011Starts February 2, 2011
February 9, February 16
March 2, March 9
© Mass Ignition46
Sign up todaySign up today
© Mass Ignition47
http://bit.ly/blkYPM