blitz weekly
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New Year's IssueTRANSCRIPT
Dec. 23, 2009 - Jan. 5, 2010blit
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BLITZ News Shorts 3Hollywood Profile / Movie Reviews 4Blitz Music: Rock’n New Year’s Venues 5Mavs and Stars Previews 6 UNT / SMU / TCU Previews 7Dallas Cowboys Week 16 Preview 8COVER STORY: Guide to New Year’s Midnight Kiss 9 Where to Party this Year 10-11 ‘09 Recap/‘10 Predictions 10-11BLITZ BABE: Tracy 12UFC 108 Preview 13Restaurant Review: El Guapo’s 14Blitz Toys 15The Fan Top 10 with Sybil 16Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17Last Call: Xmas Presents... 18
PUBLISHER / EDITORKelly G. Reed
CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGNDamien William Mayfield
COVER:Photographer: Darryl Briggs Model: Amanda Moore
Graphic Designer: Damien William Mayfield
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERSGregg Case, Manny Flores
PHOTOGRAPHERSRonnie Baker, Darryl Briggs, Steven Hendrix,
Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan
CONTRIBUTING WRITERSJoe Avezzano, Baby Xtina, Brian Beard, Jack Bishop,
Johnny Blaze, Geoff Case, Fred Faour, Vivian Fullerlove,Robin George, Andrew J. Hewett, Peggy Kilpatrick,
Frank LaCosta, Jayson Larson, Peggy Kilpatrick, Pat Moran, Tunde Obazee, Richard S. Pollak, Craig Smith, Eddie Stephens,
Joe Stumpo, Sybil Summers, Jennifer Wayne and Jesse Whitman
ADVERTISING SALES MANAGERKelly G. Reed
SALES REPRESENTATIVESJohnny Horton, Patrick Marshall
CONTACT USMAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618
[email protected] Weekly
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Copyright 2009 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced inwhole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www.blitzweekly.com.
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QUOTE OF
THE WEEK
“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This
drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve when you get so drunk, you kiss
the person you’re married to.”– P.J. O’Rourke
Andrew J. Hewettwww.chewednews.com
IS THIS WHY IN ENGLISHWE GET “PIST”? Before luxury car manufacturer Rolls Royce began production in 1965, its original name of Silver Mist was changed to Silver Cloud. This change was necessary after designers learned the German word “Miststück” (English sounding, “Mist Stick”) was slang, proclaiming a woman to be a bitch or slut. (In some cases, this word could also meaning rubbish, dirt or even manure.)
PROBABLY JUST NEEDED HIS NIGHTLY 100 STROKES? August 2, 1992, The Omaha World Herald told of Redmond McGee, 25, who had an unusual fetish, one which caused Baton Rouge, Louisiana police to arrest him. What Mr. McGee got arrested for was breaking into a woman’s bedroom and ... forcibly brushing her hair.
AN UNUSUAL FORMOF SELF ABUSE The act of self-enucleation, the ripping-out of one’s own eyeball(s) is rare, and even this small number is found almost exclusively in Christian cultures. Virtually no recorded occurrences have been found in China, Hong Kong, India, Japan, Australia, or Papua New Guinea. (Perhaps, because, according to the King James Bible’s chapter Mark verse 9:47: if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire)
Flashing Teen Found Guilty After BeingHit by Car A New Zealand teen who was flashing her breasts at passing cars has been found guilty of disorderly behavior for the prank, which ended with her in a hospital after a distracted driver ran into her. Cherelle May Dudfield, 18, pleaded guilty to the charge when she appeared in Invercargill District Court, the Southland Times newspaper re-ported Wednesday. Dudfield, egged on by her friends, was flashing passing motorists from a traffic is-land in the middle of a four-lane road in the southern city of Invercargill on September 27. The alcohol-fueled prank went awry when one of the vehicles crashed into her as she tried to run to the side of the road, police Inspector Olaf Jensen said.
“She was extremely lucky as the vehicle had slowed because of her behavior,” he told The Associated Press. “She rolled up onto the bonnet (hood) and cracked the windscreen before she came down with some minor injuries and was taken to hos-pital.” The prank occurred in the city center, where a ban on alcohol use is in force, he noted. Dudfield was fined $198.
A couple were charged in fed-eral court in Sioux Falls
with faking the husband’s death to collect life in-surance. A woman, 39, and her 45-year-old husband
pleaded not guilty to conspiracy to commit mail fraud. The wife was free on bond while the husband was being held without bond. Authorities said the woman claimed that her husband had died after eating bad oys-ters during a family vacation in Malaysia in 2003. She eventually settled the insurance case with two insurance companies for $2 million. FBI agents informed Sioux Falls-based Midland National Life about a year ago that the husband walked into the U.S. Em-
bassy in Jakarta, Indonesia, and asked to renew his passport. The man was arrested in Guam last month.
Authorities in South Florida are searching for a man who held up a Fort Lauderdale bank shirtless then fled with a woman who sported a belt made of handcuffs. Accord-ing to a news release from the Fort Lauder-dale Police Department, the man demanded money from a teller at a Bank of America
branch on Friday afternoon and implied he had a weapon. The teller gave the man an unspecified amount of cash, and he then fled on foot with the woman. The man was wearing blue jeans, while the woman wore a blue hat, black shirt and jeans.
Shirtless Man, Woman in Handcuffs Belt Rob Bank
Pair Accused of Faking Deathfrom Bad Oysters
Dec. 23, 2009 - Jan. 5, 2010blit
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Vivian Fullerlove“Entertainment’s Real Critic”
BLITZREVIEWS W a s t i n g o u r m o n e ys o y o u d o n ’ t h a v e t o !
PICK OF THE WEEK
“Dr. Watson, I presume?” Jude Law plays one of the world’s most famous sidekicks in the new movie Sherlock Holmes. Along with co-star Robert Downey Jr., the two play London’s dynamic duo of the 1800’s. They engage in a battle of wits and brawn with a nemesis whose plot is a threat to all of England. We caught up with Law to discuss how they put a new twist on an old tale and what it was like working with Downey Jr.
You play Dr. Watson, the faithful sidekick of Sherlock Holmes. Tell me a little about your character in this new adaptation of their adventures. What’s been one of the most enjoyable revelations, I suppose, is going back and reading the books and realizing that, in fact, there was so much uncovered and unexplored [territory] in the character, including his strict military training and background; and the fact that he dives head first into these very physical and dangerous scenarios with his partner in fighting crime very willingly. So, we’ve really explored the idea that whilst Holmes is very much a superman with a great mind and great skills, Watson is far from being his inferior. He’s got a brain on him, too, and he’s an important component in Holmes’ process of working out these crimes. I really wanted him to be very straight-laced and really representative of sort of a buttoned up, polished professional.
You mentioned the partnership between the two characters, was it difficult developing a relationship with Robert Downey Jr. that would make that partnership seem authentic? Truly the two of us hit it off very quickly. We’re very honest with each other. We tended to really push each other and make it work and sometimes that is magic and sometimes it ain’t, and I was very fortunate that I was playing opposite someone that is nothing short of genius.
What do you think is the secret to the enduring relationshipbetween the two men? In so many ways they are perfectly compatible, but also exhaustingly incompatible. I suppose there’s quite a strong theme in our film that they can’t live with or without each other. Watson is trying to get away to live a normal life, to marry, to carry on a healthy medical practice without his neighbor blowing things up or shooting through the walls or setting himself on fire. Of course, he knows what he’ll miss is his world of adventure and of the macabre which Holmes offers.
This film is being touted as a “new” Sherlock Holmes. Do you think fans of classic Sherlock Holmes’ adventures could be turned off by the movie? I think what will surprise people the most is how faithful it is. A lot of the talk and attention is on how we are bringing a new Sherlock Holmes, and they’re highlighting all the stuff that is going to be different, and it will be different, the physicality, the addition of the brawling and the fighting which you don’t get listed in the novel or see in movies of that period, but I think people will be surprised at how faithful we’ve been [to the original] while injecting it with life that hasn’t yet been thrown into it. We’ve gone back and maintained all the cerebral intrigue, the science, the suspense and menace of the fantastic stories and twists in the stories that were created originally while energizing it with the modern world around us.
Sherlock Holmes opens nationwide this week. The film is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, some startling images and a scene of suggestive material. For all of this week’s new movies, check out my show Reel Critics on Time Warner Cable Video on Demand under the North Texas Programming Tab!
Star Trek: The Original Series (1966-1969): The Blu-ray release of the third and final season of the original Star Trek series that spawned four television series and 11 big screen movies to date, is particularly special in that Trekkies literally get the best of both worlds all in one box set. If they don’t care to see the digitally remastered episodes revamped with better visual effects done the way George Lucas chose to redo shots of the classic Star Wars trilogy (1977-1983), they can just flip the discs and watch the original episodes from the ‘60s.
Invictus: Seeing the melting pot of South Africans putting their negative feelings on race aside and coming together as one to root for their rugby team at the ‘95 World Cup Championship match reminded me of how people here in America celebrate when their favorite team wins the World Series or the Super Bowl. Of course, there was more at stake in South Africa back in the ‘90s when President Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) took over. With his country torn apart by apartheid, Mandela asks South African rugby team captain, Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon), to win the world cup in hopes of uniting his country through sports. Director Clint Eastwood’s chronicle is just one chapter of Mandela’s life as president. I am certain the definitive film biography on Mandela has yet to be made.
HOLLYWOOD PROFILEwith Jude Law By: Joe Stumpo - www.darthstumpo.com
EXAM &X-RAY
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Dec. 23, 2009 - Jan. 5, 2010blit
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Not sure what to do this New Year’s Eve? If you plan on sticking around the area this year, below are a couple of local spots you should definitely check out: Stop by the Barley House located on 5612 SMU Blvd, Dallas. Everybody’s favor-ite Beatles tribute band, A Hard Nights Day, will be performing 4 sets. Here is a break-down of how the evening will play out.
1st set: Ed Sullivan Show suits-all early Beatles ‘63-’64 2nd set: Shea Stadium suits-years ‘65-’66 3rd set: Sgt Peppers Costumes-en-tire album front to back 4th set: Vintage 60’s Rock-The Who, Rolling Stones, Kinks, and more
Make sure to stick around as there will be a free champagne toast at midnight. The event will also include party favors and food units. For more information on the NYE Barley house shindig, call 214-824-0306 or go online at www.barley-house.com. The Barley House’s sister bar, Bryan Street Tavern, located on 4315 Bryan Street is also hosting some festivities of it’s own. Bryan Street has put together a great lineup of Texas musi-cians to bring in the New Year. First to perform at 10:30 p.m. is Buttercup, a San Antonio-based band. Their sound is described as having breezy melodies ex-perimenting with psy-chedelic pop. Up next, Salim Nourallah and the Dufilhos at 11:30 p.m. If you haven’t had the pleasure of experi-encing Salim’s intricate melodies, then definitely listen up. This will be his first NYE show since 1995. Taking the stage after Mr. Nourallah is local music sta-
ple, The Deathray Davies. A free pizza buf-fet will be provided at midnight along with a champagne toast and party favors. For more information, call 214-821-4447 or go online at www.bryanstreettavern.com. If neither of the above events do the trick for ya, roll on over to Dallas’ finest music venue, The Granada Theater, and check out Dallas’ own Jonathan Tyler & The Northern Lights. The Granada says they go good with The Rolling Stones and The Black Crowes and that definitely does not suck. This mix of Southern Rock and Blues will surely help you bring in the New Year. The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets are $12-20. For more information go to www.granadatheater.com. If you’re a P1 like me, you might want to head on over to The House of Blues to check out Rhyner’s band (who’s dead, we know), Petty Theft, a Tom Petty tribute band. They will be performing in the Pontiac/Cambridge Room starting at 9 p.m. Tickets are $35. If
that isn’t your flavor, the main room will host Cross Canadian Ragweed, Wade Bow-en and Mickey & the Motor cars starting at 8pm. The cost of that event is $75.50 and you can go to www.houseofblues.com for more information on tickets. Lastly, The Toadies have reunited again and added a second show for New Year’s Eve perform-ing at Trees located on 2709 Elm St., Dallas. Also included in the line up are The Boom Boom Box and Dove Hunter. This show is sure to be full of a lot of energy. Tickets are $45 and can be pur-chased through www.frontgatetickets.com. Whatever you decide on, be sure to exercise good judgment and stay off the roads if you
plan on partaking in some adult beverages. Let’s all send 2009 out with a bang in a ma-jor way.
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MUSIC: The Beatles1. Can’t Buy Me Love TheBeatles–AHardDay’sNight
2. Eight Days a Week TheBeatles–BeatlesforSale
3. Yesterday TheBeatles–Help!
4. Drive My Car TheBeatles–RubberSoul
5. We Can Work It Out TheBeatles–YesterdayandToday
6. Eleanor Rigby TheBeatles–Revolver
7. A Day in the Life TheBeatles–Sgt.Pepper’s...
8. I Am the Walrus TheBeatles–MagicalMysteryTour
9. Helter Skelter TheBeatles–TheWhiteAlbum
10.Come Together TheBeatles–AbbeyRoad
by: Johnny Blaze& Baby Xtina
Rock'nNew Year’sVenues
Dec. 23, 2009 - Jan. 5, 2010blit
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Santa, before I leave for a holiday hockey scouting trip to the Bahamas with the V.P. of Fun, Brett Hull, I have only one request--let the Stars win the last six games of 2009! We need to gain momentum to rise in the standings in the New Year. Stars Coach Marc Crawford found a niche for Mike Modano on the power play and as a third line defensive center against the opponent’s top-scoring line. While this hasn’t resulted in many scoring opportunities (except for his left winger, Steve Ott), it has given Modano sufficient playing time to contribute to the team effort without burning him out. We all want to see Modano play in the Winter Olympic game in Vancouver (I’m still on the media waiting list with only 67 spots to move up before making the final cut), but we know he needs time to rest, too. Coming into the last weeks of 2009, the Stars face a challenging group of opponents. The Ken Hitchcock-coached Columbus Blue Jackets make their second appearance this season at the AAC, after drumming the Stars 4-1 back in November. Plus, two major battles are to be fought with the two most-improved teams in the West Conference, the Colorado Avalanche and the Chicago
Blackhawks. The Avalanche have turned around a disastrous year with the addition of a new, aggressive goaltender, while the Blackhawks are cashing in on 3 years of top draft picks maturing. The New Year’s Eve game, now a hockey tradition in Dallas, will bring the Anaheim Ducks to town. With the Ducks in ownership turmoil, they will probably be the first team in the Western Division to change coaches. Our New Year starts out with the Stars facing the NHL’s winningest Goaltender, Martin Brodeur, and the New Jersey Devils.
by: Richard S. Pollak – “That Hockey Guy”STARS:NewsAll I Want for Christmas is ...
The Dallas Mavericks may be without their superstar Dirk Nowitzki after he had Carl Landry’s teeth fragments unwillingly im-planted into his elbow tissue. The Mavs are going to have to just give him spot duty or shut him down completely to fully heal. The laceration on his shooting elbow is so deep that every motion could reopen the wound. It’s an injury that could seriously hamper a precision shooter. It’s better to give him a few games off and make sure the stitches do their job rather than have a nagging injury the rest of the season.
Upcoming Opponents: Dec. 26: vs. Memphis Grizzles – The Mavs don’t match up well with Zac Randolph and Marc Gasol banging in the post. The 98-82 drubbing during their last meeting should provide some motivation. Dec. 27: at Denver Nuggets – Chauncey Bil-lups is out with a groin injury, but should be back for this match-up. Let’s see if the Mavs really got more “athletic” this year. Dec. 31: at Houston Rockets – They are slowly bringing back T-Mac, but are still a feisty bunch that always play hard. Jan 2: at Sacramento Kings – The Kings have a rising star in Tyreke Evans, but aren’t considered a real threat...yet. Evans is quick and relentlessly drives to the basket which has been a problem for the Mavs defense. Jan. 3: at Los Angeles Lakers – The most talented team in the NBA hasn’t forgotten about the last time the Mavs visited. Can the Mavs sweep the Lakers in LA? Jan. 5: vs. Detroit Pistons – The Pistons present the same problem as the Kings: the super quick Rodney Stuckey driving the lane. They need to get Tayshaun Prince healthy before they start to really scare anybody. My prediction for this stretch: 4-2
by: Geoff Case – “Mavericks Analyst”MAVS:NewsDirk Gets a Toothache
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WEEK 16 LINESThurs., Dec. 25 LINE UNDERDOG TIMEAt Tennessee -3 San Diego 7:20pm
Sun., Dec. 27 LINE UNDERDOG TIMEAt Green Bay -14 Seattle NoonAt Cleveland -3 Oakland NoonAt Cincinnati -13.5 Kansas City NoonAt Atlanta -8 Buffalo NoonAt Miami -3 Houston NoonAt NY Giants -5* Carolina NoonAt New Orleans -14.5 Tampa Bay NoonAt New England -7.5 Jacksonville NoonAt Pittsburgh -2.5 Baltimore NoonAt Arizona -14 St. Louis 3:05pmAt San Francisco -11.5 Detroit 3:05pm At Philadelphia -7 Denver 3:15pmAt Indianapolis -7 NY Jets 3:15pmDallas -4 At Washington 7:20pm
Mon., Dec. 28 LINE UNDERDOG TIMEMinnesota -7 At Chicago 7:35pm
Baltimore vs Pittsburgh Sunday, Dec 27 – noon – Heinz Field – CBS The NFL wouldn’t be the NFL without a meaningful December match up between these two teams. The winner of this game will be a step closer to the playoffs and the loser will probably be planning for next year. The Steelers won on the last second against Green Bay. The Ravens dominated the Bears.
Boise State(6) vs TCU(4) Monday, Jan 4 – 7pm – Cardinals Stadium – FOX The “other” match up between two undefeated teams. Since the BCS was afraid to see how the teams would fare against BCS schools, they face each other. TCU’s nationally ranked #1 defense will have its hands full against the high-powered Boise State offense.
Last Sunday, North Texas lost a heart-breaker in overtime to Florida International 80-70. Josh White hit a three-pointer to send it into overtime with .04 seconds left in regulation. They trailed at the half by 15. Josh White, who is usually automatic from the line, was 5-10. He had only missed seven all year coming into the game. The team shot 60% from the free-throw line, which killed them in the game. They came out flat, scoring a season low 23 points for a half in the first half. North Texas shot a poor 36.2% from the field for the game. Tristan Thompson came to play with a career high in points with 27 and three-pointers made in a game with 6. On Monday, they play at home against Texas Southern, who can only claim four wins this season. On New Years Eve, they travel to Arkansas-Little Rock for a conference game, which should be an easy win since the Trojans have rarely found the win column this season. Next up is a Saturday conference match-up at Arkansas State, coached by John Brady. The Mean Green need to win this tough one to stay on top in the conference
SMU is starting to come alive as they killed Occidental 77-49 this past week. Rodney Clinkscales made 4 three-pointers and scored 15 points in the win. Mike Walker also scored 14 points to help the Mustangs in the victory. The Mustangs are scoring points and playing team ball. They will take on UNLV this week in the Hawaiian Airlines Diamond Head Classic. As mentioned previously, guards Tre’Von Willis and Oscar Bellfield average 27 points per game between them. After the trip to Hawaii, they return home to play Army on the 30th. Army is led by Cleveland Richard and Julian Simmons, both are guards, as well. The Mustangs start the new year by going on the road to play Texas State. Currently, the Bobcats sport a 3-8 record with no wins over any big name schools. Their forwards are their main scorers. Watch for John Ryback and Cameron Johnson to do most of the damage. If the Mustangs continue to play like they have been, there will only be good things to say about them. This team is now 4-3 and getting better. Look for the Mustangs to get even better after every game.
To get excited about TCU basketball look no further than Zvonko Buljan and Ronnie Moss. Buljan became the first player in program history to earn Preseason First Team All-Mountain West Conference accolades (voted on by the coaches and media). In addition, Buljan was selected as a Preseason First Team All-Mountain West Conference award winner by CBS Sportsline and Blue Ribbon Basketball Yearbook. Through 10 games this season, Buljan is the only player in the MWC averaging a double-double at 15.9 points and 10 rebounds per game. Moss is averaging 16.5 points per game and has posted a double-digit scoring in nine of ten games this season. In addition, Moss has recorded three 20-plus scoring performances and ranks fifth in the MWC. Moss is also tied for third in the country in assists per game (6.8 A-G) with Larry Drew II from North Carolina. Up next for TCU is Aubrey Coleman (averaging 26.7 points per game) and the Houston Cougars on Dec. 23. Then they return home to host Northern Colorado on Dec. 30 and Rice on Jan. 2. Both home contests begin at 8:00pm.
- Craig Smith - Eddie Stephens - Jayson Larson
Christmas Day 2009 will soon be here. This year, we have seen our economy struggle and many of us have found it hard to make ends meet.
Millions of kids will not even have a present to open on what is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.” There is hope for less fortunate kids across the country, though, thanks to Shaq-A-Claus, a.k.a. Shaquille O’Neal, one of the biggest kids in America with an
even bigger heart. He’s been buying Christmas gifts for kids in need since he was a rookie in Orlando in 1992 (with no help from foundations or donations). Every year, he heads to Toys ‘R Us with credit card in hand to purchase tons of toys to make sure kids have at least one present to open. Shaq is saddened by the fact that some won’t have anything. He puts on his Santa Claus hat and enjoys mingling with other customers. He signs autographs and takes pictures as he fills many carts with toy to load onto a big
truck. “About 15 years ago, my mother and father ordered me to go to a Toys ‘R Us and buy toys and give them out to kids,” he said. “I got a call from my mother and she said, ‘Boy, get your butt up, go down to the store and buy some gifts for the kids.’ He saw kids faces overcome with joy and he liked the way that made him feel. He grew up in the inner city and spent lots of time at the Boy and Girls Club, which gave him the supervision and guidance he needed. He gives a lot of the presents back to those clubs
because he enjoyed the time he spent there as a youth. He personally delivers the presents, too. This year he has partnered with Toys ‘R Us to help raise as much money as possible in the giving season. He is asking people to join his efforts in “Shaq Gives Back” to help the store and Toys for Tots provide toys to millions of needy children. “I realize we are living in a tough economy, but if you can, a dollar is all we are asking for,” he said. You can drop by a local store to help. You and I know it is better to give than receive.
SportsologistCraig Smith – [email protected] Attacks The Tough Economy
Dec. 23, 2009 - Jan. 5, 2010blit
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TheCoach- Joe Avezzano
The Dallas Cowboys were not expected to beat the undefeated New Orleans Saints Sat-urday night. I was one of those who thought the Cowboys were just up against a superior team. I know what it’s like to be on teams that accomplish feats others think you can’t, but when you are asked to give an opinion of who will win etc., you try to find reasons for or against and give a forecast. The real joy in sports and competi-tion is a group of people getting together, making a plan, executing that plan and do-ing something that only your small circle of coaches and players believe you can do. The 24-17 victory may have saved a season, may springboard them to great heights and may be remembered as one of the greatest victories in Cowboy history. All that will be decided in the future, but for right now Tony Romo is playing outstanding QB. DeMarcus Ware showed just how valu-able he is to this team by not only playing but making a huge difference. Austin Miles is the go-to receiver on this team that can make a real difference. The offense was very productive, the Defense held New Orleans to half their normal point production and the thrill of victory spread through out Cowboy-land. The doubters became believers again and will remain so until the next loss but for that group of men in the locker room, they got to enjoy the Joy of Sports. It’s a special
feeling that is only achieved by a few and desired by many. After a few days of enjoyment, they will get ready for Washington in DC. There are few greater pleasures for Washington than to spoil a Cowboy season. Washington does not have a good team overall, but on their turf versus the Cowboys, it will be a difficult task for the Boys. As if any of this is easy. The keys to a Cowboy victory will start with how they handle the New Orleans win. Enjoy and move on. The rest of the puzzle will be best put together just like the New Orleans game. Pressure the QB, take care of the football, have a solid kicking game and respond to the up and down flow of the game. If the Cowboys are truly making a seri-ous run at the post season, and we know they are, then they should exercise all options to give the team the best chance. Making a change will at least make an attempt at fixing the problem. Saturday night in Dallas was alive with fun and renewed hope but for the team, they’re the ones who truly enjoyed the Joy of Sports.
Coach Joe can be heard on KHYI 95.3 on Tuesday nights 7-9pm and on ESPN radio. Come by and say hello at Hat Tricks Sports Bar and Grill in Lewisville. Your home to great sports and great music.
THE JOY OF SPORTS
Poinsetta Bowl: Utah (plus 3 1/2) over Cal. The Bears were inconsistent all year.
Hawaii Bowl: SMU (plus 15) over Nevada. Nevada is a better team, but June Jones knows how to win in Hawaii, and SMU is better than people think, especially on de-fense.
Little Caeser’s Pizza Bowl: Ohio (minus 3) over Marshall. The Herd made a bowl and fired its coach. Can’t expect much of an ef-fort here.
Meineke Car Care Bowl: North Carolina (plus 3 1/2) over Pitt. The Panthers can’t be too thrilled about being here and the Heels are not a bad team.
Emerald Bowl: USC (minus 9) over Boston College. USC has been terrible, but Boston College is pathetic. USC should cover, but don’t bet the farm.
Music City Bowl: Kentucky (plus 7) over Clemson. The Tigers are a better team, but it was a long fall from potential BCS ap-pearance to this.
Independence Bowl: Georgia (plus 7) over Texas A&M. The Aggies have a nice of-fense, but Georgia will riddle their defense.
Eagle Bank Bowl: UCLA (minus 4) over Temple. This one is a toss-up against the number.
Champs Sports Bowl: Miami (minus 3) over Wisconsin. The U might be in the title hunt next year. This is a big first step.
Humanitarian Bowl: Idaho (plus 2) over Bowling Green. This is essentially a home game for the Vandals.
Holiday Bowl: Nebraska (plus 1 1/2) over Arizona. I have this one as a coin flip, so might as well take the point and a half.
Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: Hous-ton (minus 4) over Air Force. The Cougars wanted better than this; and they have a lot to prove.
Sun Bowl: Oklahoma (minus 8) over Stan-ford. We expect Oklahoma to come out fir-ing and stomp a hole in The Cardinal.
Texas Bowl: Navy (plus 6 1/2) over Mis-souri. Navy is a tough, disciplined football team that plays a style of offense Missouri hasn’t seen. This one will go down to the wire.
Insight Bowl: Minnesota (minus 3) over Iowa State. Worst bowl game of the year?
Chick-Fil-A Bowl: Tennessee (plus 4 1/2) over Virginia Tech. The annoying Lane Kif-fin will try to make a statement.
Outback Bowl: Auburn (minus 7 1/2) over Northwestern. Tigers have too many ath-letes.
Gator Bowl: Florida State (plus 3) over West Virginia. The Seminoles win one for the old man.
Capital One Bowl: LSU (plus 3) over Penn State. Best bowl matchup other than the title game. Also best bet of the bowls. LSU should roll Penn State.
Rose Bowl: Ohio State (plus 3 1/2) over Or-egon. Buckeyes should keep this one close and pull off a mild upset.
Sugar Bowl: Florida (minus 11) over Cin-cinnati. The Gators will be looking to send Tim Tebow out in style. Look for a big win from Florida.
International Bowl: South Florida (minus 7) over Northern Illinois. We take it back. This is the worst bowl game.
Papa John’s Bowl: South Carolina (minus 4 1/2) over UCONN. Carolina has one of the most underrated defenses in college football.
Cotton Bowl: Oklahoma State (plus 3) over Mississippi. Another good match up and a toss-up. In that case, take the points.
Liberty Bowl: Arkansas (minus 8) over East Carolina. The Pirates can’t score enough to keep up with Arkansas.
Alamo Bowl: Texas Tech (minus 8) over Michigan State. This is the kind of team Mike Leach’s squads have for breakfast. Watch for Tech to roll it up.
Fiesta Bowl: Boise State (plus 7) over TCU. The Frogs probably win this, but Boise is damned good, too. This one should be close.
Orange Bowl: Georgia Tech (minus 5) over Iowa. Yuck. This is a BCS game? Georgia Tech stomps them.
GMAC Bowl: Central Michigan (minus 3) over Troy. We take it back again. This is the worst bowl.
BCS title game: Texas (plus 5) over Ala-bama. We’ll take Texas to cover the num-ber.
Guide for Betting on the Remaining Bowl Games by: Fred Faour
Phot
o C
ourte
sy: R
onni
e B
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Do not stare down the hottie you want to kiss.If you stare intensely, she’ll be creeped out. You don’t want to start 2010 with a restraining order. Girls go for a-holes. Act like you don’t see her and then wink at her after a few subtle glances. She’s hooked.
Make sure your breath is appealing at all times.If a honey decides to initiate a conversation with you and you are workin’ with raunchy breath, she’s not going to want to put her mouth on yours. Mints, mints, mints!
Chapstick it.I don’t care if you have an aversion to it, for this one night, put some Chapstick on. Girls do notice “lip quality.” If you have facial hair, make sure it’s trimmed and out of the way. The kiss won’t last long if your partner feels like she’s kissing a pine tree.
Relax.If you do get a gal to kiss you, chill out and let her take con-trol. Nobody likes forced entry with the tongue. If she’s dig-ging you, she will start to open her mouth a bit. Remember, too, that girls like you to touch their hair and cheeks (on her face, that is), too. Make her feel beautiful and you might be lucky for a whole year!
by: Jennifer Wayne“Foxie Chick”
If you’re attached, you
already have your New
Year’s kiss locked down.
If you’re single, it’ s
time to panic. I want
you to have good luck
next year (especially if
you are Wade Phillips,
Dirk or Jamie Benn), so
I am going to help you
get a kiss at midnight.
Follow these rules and
I can almost guarantee
it will happen for you.
Don’t follow them? You
can kiss that Ferrari or
Super Bowl ring goodbye
(oh and you might end up
dating an ex-con).
Rule 1:
Rule 2:
Rule 3:
Rule 4:
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JANUARY Jan. 15:US Airlines pilot lands plane in Hudson River, saving all lives onboard. Jan. 20:Barack Obama inaugurated as the 44th president of the US. Jan. 22:Barack Obama signs an order to close Guantanamo Bay prison camp in Cuba within the year.
FEBRUARY Cardinals make the Super Bowl XLIII for the first time ever. Steelers win the championship title 27-23. Chris Brown beats girlfriend Rihanna.
MARCH Mar. 18:English actress, Natasha Richardson, passes away suddenly due to a head injury from a skiing accident.
APRIL Apr. 25:Americanactress BeaArthur passes
away.
MAY May 2:Manny Pacquiao brutally defeats Ricky Hatton in the 2nd round.
JUNE Jun. 11:H1N1, or Swine Flu, is classified as a global pandemic. Jun. 25:Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett pass away. Jun 30:Yemenia Flight 626 crashes off coast of Moroni, Comoros killing 153 on board
with one survivor.
JULY Jul. 7:Michael Jackson’s funeral sells out and is aired live on television. Jul. 17:American journalist, Walter Cronkite, passes away after a long battle with cancer. Jul. 22:Longest solar eclipse of the 21st century can be seen from Asia, lasting 6 minutes and 38 seconds.
AUGUST Aug. 6:American film director and writer, John Hughes, passes away suddenly. Aug. 11:Eunice Kennedy Shriver, American founder of the Special Olympics,passes away. Aug. 25:Ted Kennedy,American politician, passes away.
SEPTEMBER Sep. 14:American actor, Patrick Swayze, passes away after an aggressive battle with pancreatic cancer. Sept. 20:Dallas Cowboys play first season game in new stadium, drawing an NFL record regular season crowd of 105,000.
OCTOBER Oct. 15: Balloon Boy proves you can’t be in two places at once and is found in his parents back yard
NOVEMBER Nov. 20:Twilight sequel,“New Moon” opens big at box offices making $140 million.
DECEMBER AmericanIdol runner-up, Adam Lambert, gives a controversial performance at the AMA’s. Oprah Winfrey announces retirement from Oprah Winfrey Show, ending in 2011. Tiger Woods’ car crash opens up scandal of his alleged affairs with 15+ different women.
Jan. 7, 2010 Texas defeats Alabama 12-10 in the BCS National Championship as Alabama QB Greg McElroy throws a pass out of bounds and the referee refuses to put time back on the clock. Alabama was in field goal range and is outraged that they will end the season ranked behind Florida.
Feb. 7, 2010 SUPER BOWL XLIVin Miami: The San Diego Chargers defeat the Philadelphia Eagles 44-38 in the highest scoring Super Bowl in history. LaDainian Tomlinson is named MVP. In other news from Super Bowl week, the Dallas Desire wins the Lingerie Bowl over the Los Angeles Temptation.
Mar. 7 Sandra Bullock wins Best Actress for “The Blind Side.” Kanye West storms the stage and says “Sandra, I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyonce’s performance in ‘Obsessed’ is one of the greatest of-” when he is interrupted by Quinton Aaron (the actor who played Michael Oher in “The Blind Side”) and escorted out of the building. After grossing $277 million at the box office, “The Hangover” is the surprise winner of Best Picture.
Apr. 8-11, 2010 THE MASTERSAugusta National Fred Couples magically wins with a score of -13 as CBS Sports’ Jim Nantz cries on the air while presenting his college roommate the green jacket.
May 6, 2010Tom Hick’s Bobblehead Night deemed a success as only 10 fans take one home!
June 3, 2010NBA FINALS Dallas Mavericks vs. Cleveland Cavaliers: After being acquired in a mid-season trade, Chris Bosh joins Dirk Nowitzki , Shawn Marion, and Jason Kidd as they defeat LeBron James, Shaq and the Cleveland Cavaliers in seven games to win the NBA Finals. The Mavericks’ home games in the NBA Finals are played at Cowboys Stadium, each one outdrawing the previous game and setting a new attendance record.
Jul. 27, 2010DALLAS COWBOYS TRAINING CAMP BEGINS New head coach and general manager Jon Gruden fills every hole on the roster with the top free agents as the Dallas Cowboys do their best New York Yankees impersonation with no salary cap in place as Jerry Jones vows to win Super Bowl XLV played at Cowboys Stadium.
Aug. 20, 2010 The Expendables starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and Mickey Rourke is released. That’s right, Rocky & Drago in a movie together!
Sept. 26, 2010 No longer making personnel moves, Jerry Jones goes to work on adding to the Ring of Honor. His first inductee is the architect of the 90s dynasty team, Jimmy Johnson.
Oct. 2, 2010 Jerry Jones announces plans to build a Five-Diamond hotel known as the Dallas Cowboys Four Seasons Hotel & Residences (on the property that is currently Wal Mart) across from Cowboys Stadium in Arlington. There will be a private tunnel and skyway access to the stadium. It will be completed before Super Bowl XLV.
Nov. 25, 2010 Dallas Cowboys defeat New England Patriots 35-3 as they remain undefeated. Britney Spears performs at the Salvation Army Halftime Show. Entire halftime show is presented in 3-D at stadium and on FOX Network (in the process confusing people at bars across the country.)
Dec. 3, 2010 New York KnicksLeBron James and Dwyane Wade are named Sports Illustrated Sportsmen of the Year.
While many of the party people in DFW will be scrambling to get inside the velvet ropes of the hottest trendy nightclubs in the 214 area code, the more laid back side of the metroplex is
hosting a wide variety of parties, as well. From night-clubs to bars to concerts and comedy clubs, anything a New Year’s Eve party-goer would want can be found in Ft. Worth. THE POUR HOUSE: Back and open on West 7th Street, they are hosting “Naughty or Nice New Year’s Eve.” Costumes are welcome at this themed event featuring live music by Turning Trixie. The $20 gen-eral admission includes door cover, balloon drop and a champagne toast at midnight. An additional $25 guarantees a seat. Info: 817-335-2575 or www.pour-housefw.com. 8.0: This joint will be open all day on New Year’s Eve with their party kicking off at 8:00pm. Cover is $15 and includes party favors and a champagne toast. If you want to reserve a table, it is $25 per seat and that
includes a private bottle of champagne on ice. www.eightobar.com FLYING SAUCER: The Sundance Square staple will have live music, party favors and a champagne toast at midnight. Admission is just $10 and table reservations are available with prices ranging from $100-$150. www.beerknurd.com. VICE: The subterranean venue, located in the Tower condos in Sundance Square, is the place to go for the socially elite that do not want to deal with the hassle of New Year’s Eve in Dallas. This club always has beautiful ladies and will no doubt be a hot ticket on this evening. $40 per person or $70 per couple. Bottle service and table reservations $1500-$2300. www.vicefw.com. HYENA’S COMEDY CLUB: They are featuring the comedian Tommy Blaze. You may recognize him from “Friends” where he played Jennifer Aniston’s date. To purchase New Year’s Eve packages, call 817-877-5233.
To me, Dallas is made up of three types of people: people who appreciate food, people who like to spend money and people who are frugal. Pick your party accordingly.
The Foodie Option: Five Sixty by Wolfgang Puck in Reunion Tower will offer a five-course prix fixe menu for $145 per person starting at 8 p.m. At 10 p.m., a DJ will get the ball-droppin’ festivities under-way. There’s also a buffet option in Reunion Tower’s private event room starting at 8:30 p.m. It’s a little less pricey at $95 for the buffet, a champagne toast and a cash bar. For reservations for these events, call 214-741-5561 or go to www.wolfgangpuck.com.
The High Roller Option: The Viva Las Vegas Party at newbie club Thrive is for those of us who wish we were in Sin City for the big night. The party in-cludes Poker, Blackjack and Craps and showgirls (minus the chick from Saved By The Bell). Resident DJs will be spinning dance and hip-hop. If you want the celebrity treatment for you and your friends, you can rent the VIP room for $2,500. That includes 20
cover charges, four bottles of Ed Hardy vodka, two bottles of Moet and two bottles of Dom. Thrive is in the Crowne Plaza in downtown Dallas, so you can get a room to avoid all the crazies on the road. For a res, go to www.thrivenightclub.com.
The Cheap Bastard Option: LIFT says they will be hosting “the most highly sought after new years party.” At the time this issue went to print, 14 of 14 tables and 150 of 150 single reservations were avail-able for purchase at this “reservation only” party. My guess is, they’ll probably give away reservations to get some people in the door. For more info on the Cedar Springs club, call 469-261-7829.
by: Jayson Larson“Dude with a Plan”
by: J
ayso
n Lar
son
by: P
eggy
Kilp
atrick
2009 Recap
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JANUARY Jan. 15:US Airlines pilot lands plane in Hudson River, saving all lives onboard. Jan. 20:Barack Obama inaugurated as the 44th president of the US. Jan. 22:Barack Obama signs an order to close Guantanamo Bay prison camp in Cuba within the year.
FEBRUARY Cardinals make the Super Bowl XLIII for the first time ever. Steelers win the championship title 27-23. Chris Brown beats girlfriend Rihanna.
MARCH Mar. 18:English actress, Natasha Richardson, passes away suddenly due to a head injury from a skiing accident.
APRIL Apr. 25:Americanactress BeaArthur passes
away.
MAY May 2:Manny Pacquiao brutally defeats Ricky Hatton in the 2nd round.
JUNE Jun. 11:H1N1, or Swine Flu, is classified as a global pandemic. Jun. 25:Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett pass away. Jun 30:Yemenia Flight 626 crashes off coast of Moroni, Comoros killing 153 on board
with one survivor.
JULY Jul. 7:Michael Jackson’s funeral sells out and is aired live on television. Jul. 17:American journalist, Walter Cronkite, passes away after a long battle with cancer. Jul. 22:Longest solar eclipse of the 21st century can be seen from Asia, lasting 6 minutes and 38 seconds.
AUGUST Aug. 6:American film director and writer, John Hughes, passes away suddenly. Aug. 11:Eunice Kennedy Shriver, American founder of the Special Olympics,passes away. Aug. 25:Ted Kennedy,American politician, passes away.
SEPTEMBER Sep. 14:American actor, Patrick Swayze, passes away after an aggressive battle with pancreatic cancer. Sept. 20:Dallas Cowboys play first season game in new stadium, drawing an NFL record regular season crowd of 105,000.
OCTOBER Oct. 15: Balloon Boy proves you can’t be in two places at once and is found in his parents back yard
NOVEMBER Nov. 20:Twilight sequel,“New Moon” opens big at box offices making $140 million.
DECEMBER AmericanIdol runner-up, Adam Lambert, gives a controversial performance at the AMA’s. Oprah Winfrey announces retirement from Oprah Winfrey Show, ending in 2011. Tiger Woods’ car crash opens up scandal of his alleged affairs with 15+ different women.
Jan. 7, 2010 Texas defeats Alabama 12-10 in the BCS National Championship as Alabama QB Greg McElroy throws a pass out of bounds and the referee refuses to put time back on the clock. Alabama was in field goal range and is outraged that they will end the season ranked behind Florida.
Feb. 7, 2010 SUPER BOWL XLIVin Miami: The San Diego Chargers defeat the Philadelphia Eagles 44-38 in the highest scoring Super Bowl in history. LaDainian Tomlinson is named MVP. In other news from Super Bowl week, the Dallas Desire wins the Lingerie Bowl over the Los Angeles Temptation.
Mar. 7 Sandra Bullock wins Best Actress for “The Blind Side.” Kanye West storms the stage and says “Sandra, I’m gonna let you finish, but Beyonce’s performance in ‘Obsessed’ is one of the greatest of-” when he is interrupted by Quinton Aaron (the actor who played Michael Oher in “The Blind Side”) and escorted out of the building. After grossing $277 million at the box office, “The Hangover” is the surprise winner of Best Picture.
Apr. 8-11, 2010 THE MASTERSAugusta National Fred Couples magically wins with a score of -13 as CBS Sports’ Jim Nantz cries on the air while presenting his college roommate the green jacket.
May 6, 2010Tom Hick’s Bobblehead Night deemed a success as only 10 fans take one home!
June 3, 2010NBA FINALS Dallas Mavericks vs. Cleveland Cavaliers: After being acquired in a mid-season trade, Chris Bosh joins Dirk Nowitzki , Shawn Marion, and Jason Kidd as they defeat LeBron James, Shaq and the Cleveland Cavaliers in seven games to win the NBA Finals. The Mavericks’ home games in the NBA Finals are played at Cowboys Stadium, each one outdrawing the previous game and setting a new attendance record.
Jul. 27, 2010DALLAS COWBOYS TRAINING CAMP BEGINS New head coach and general manager Jon Gruden fills every hole on the roster with the top free agents as the Dallas Cowboys do their best New York Yankees impersonation with no salary cap in place as Jerry Jones vows to win Super Bowl XLV played at Cowboys Stadium.
Aug. 20, 2010 The Expendables starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and Mickey Rourke is released. That’s right, Rocky & Drago in a movie together!
Sept. 26, 2010 No longer making personnel moves, Jerry Jones goes to work on adding to the Ring of Honor. His first inductee is the architect of the 90s dynasty team, Jimmy Johnson.
Oct. 2, 2010 Jerry Jones announces plans to build a Five-Diamond hotel known as the Dallas Cowboys Four Seasons Hotel & Residences (on the property that is currently Wal Mart) across from Cowboys Stadium in Arlington. There will be a private tunnel and skyway access to the stadium. It will be completed before Super Bowl XLV.
Nov. 25, 2010 Dallas Cowboys defeat New England Patriots 35-3 as they remain undefeated. Britney Spears performs at the Salvation Army Halftime Show. Entire halftime show is presented in 3-D at stadium and on FOX Network (in the process confusing people at bars across the country.)
Dec. 3, 2010 New York KnicksLeBron James and Dwyane Wade are named Sports Illustrated Sportsmen of the Year.
–and
lost!!!
To me, Dallas is made up of three types of people: people who appreciate food, people who like to spend money and people who are frugal. Pick your party accordingly.
The Foodie Option: Five Sixty by Wolfgang Puck in Reunion Tower will offer a five-course prix fixe menu for $145 per person starting at 8 p.m. At 10 p.m., a DJ will get the ball-droppin’ festivities under-way. There’s also a buffet option in Reunion Tower’s private event room starting at 8:30 p.m. It’s a little less pricey at $95 for the buffet, a champagne toast and a cash bar. For reservations for these events, call 214-741-5561 or go to www.wolfgangpuck.com.
The High Roller Option: The Viva Las Vegas Party at newbie club Thrive is for those of us who wish we were in Sin City for the big night. The party in-cludes Poker, Blackjack and Craps and showgirls (minus the chick from Saved By The Bell). Resident DJs will be spinning dance and hip-hop. If you want the celebrity treatment for you and your friends, you can rent the VIP room for $2,500. That includes 20
cover charges, four bottles of Ed Hardy vodka, two bottles of Moet and two bottles of Dom. Thrive is in the Crowne Plaza in downtown Dallas, so you can get a room to avoid all the crazies on the road. For a res, go to www.thrivenightclub.com.
The Cheap Bastard Option: LIFT says they will be hosting “the most highly sought after new years party.” At the time this issue went to print, 14 of 14 tables and 150 of 150 single reservations were avail-able for purchase at this “reservation only” party. My guess is, they’ll probably give away reservations to get some people in the door. For more info on the Cedar Springs club, call 469-261-7829.
by: Jennifer Wayne“Foxie Chick”
2010 Predictions
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Rashad Evans(18-1-1) vs. Thiago Silva(14-1-0): Both fighters need this one to stay at the top of the list for a title shot. Both men are good strikers, but Thiago should have the edge on the standup. Both are also excellent on the ground, however they have contrasting styles. Rashad is a bad ass wrestler while Silva is BJJ black belt. Silva has shown great power and a lot of aggressiveness. He also has vicious ground and pound, but you have to put a fighter on his back to implement this technique. No way in hell does Silva put Evans on his back. In fact, Evans’ overall athleticism and quickness will be the difference in this fight. He will catch Silva late in the 2nd with a TKO.
The Gym • 921 West Mayfield #112 • Arlington, Texas817-652-1555 • www.thegym.org
Joe Lauzon (17-4-0)vs. Sam Stout (15-5-1):
Classic striker versus grappler match up. Stout has had some great fights in the UFC and has lost some close ones. He has great hands and throws them with bad intentions. Lauzon has great Jiu Jitsu and very good wrestling. I see this one being a good battle and potentially fight of the night, as Stout always brings it. Lauzon will outclass him, though, and catch a submission in the 3rd.
Junior Dos Santos (9-1-0)vs. Gilber Yvel (36-13-1):
Yvel has fought a list of who’s who throughout his long career and brings a ton of experience into the cage on this one. Dos Santos is a relative newcomer that has been on a roll. He has great hands and is very aggressive. Not to mention this won’t be his first fight against a more experienced fighter. He recently submitted Mirko Cro Cop. His youth and explosiveness will be the difference here. He will finish Yvel early in this one. Dos Santos by submission in the 1st.
Presented By:
What the heck? As if I don’t have enough problems, Facebook comes along, touted as the next big thing in social computing. Yep, even though Facebook is so 2007, new people are joining all the time and experiencing the joys of Facebook paranoia. What do I mean by this? Were you socially awkward with few friends in high school? Then why in the world would you think that all of the sudden people with whom you haven’t spoken to since high school would care about being friends with you? Go ahead and test this out if you don’t believe me, you big loser. What follows are the top ten ways to tell if you are completely lame on Facebook (just like in real life).
1. Your birthday comes along and the only person who bothers to write happy birthday on your wall is your mom. Yes, you are that lame – your own mother is your friend on Facebook.
2. That brings us to number two. You are friends with your mom on Facebook? And uncle Al keeps posting about his bingo nights?
3. You have to call people ahead of time before you post some big news – like graduating from the community college – otherwise nobody comments on your big news.
4. You think you are some kind of philosopher with your dumb quotes. Yes, that is so inspirational to misquote Albert Einstein.
5. Better yet, you make up your own quotes. An actual quote from someone’s Facebook page: “The key to happiness is balancing joy and pain.” Yep, took a real genius to come up with that one.
6. Nobody cares about what flavor of muffin you got this morning. Seriously.
7. You really, really need to go through and delete some of those god-awful photos of yourself. No human needs to see that face up close.
8. Sure, you have 500 friends – but one look at your wall and it is obvious you have no idea who 90% of them are.
9. You are bored? Uh, yeah, we pretty much already figured out that one.
10. Why are you commenting on someone else’s conversation that has nothing to do with you? Thanks for the input from the peanut gallery.
Now, lest you think that I am just mindlessly complaining about the vast majority of Facebook users, it does have some benefits. If you are as lame as you seem, you probably don’t have that many actual friends. Yet, Facebook allows you intimate glimpses into the private lives of hundreds of almost complete strangers. Creepy? Yes. But perhaps entertaining, as well. Yes, you can look at an old ex-friends’ ex-girlfriend’s bikini photos. Nobody will be the wiser. So let’s face it – you are a lame, creepy, stalker – enjoy Facebook for what it’s worth! Go ahead and construct a profile and pretend like it means something. Post random photos of garden gnomes in skimpy outfits. Create a trademark annoying status update. Pretty soon you will become a Facebook hero!
by: Jesse Whitman“A Woman’s Perspective”
Just How Lame Are You?
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FOOD REVIEWThe Pick of the Week: by: Peggy Kilpatrick
“Girl with Good Taste”
When you open the doors to El Guapo’s Mexican restaurant in Denton, you may get a little confused. A long, wide ramp leads you down to the hostess stand but before you get there your eyes will be distracted by the bright colors painted on the surrounding walls, along with
colorful flowers and black and white pictures of 1950’s celebrities signed with faux autographs. The restaurant itself is huge. With at least three spacious dining areas and a separate room for the neon-lit bar, this is the perfect place to go if you have a big group. The tables, all donned with bright table covers, are far enough away from each other, yet you don’t feel isolated from society while eating. There is no carpet or nicely laid out wood floors at El Guapo’s. Instead, the floor is concrete that looks like it has seen better days. In one of the dining areas, you can actually see white lines that look like they were painted decades ago on a parking lot. I realized this place had to have been some sort of auto shop back in the day, so I asked the manager who confirmed that the place has a lot of history behind it and at one point in time, it was an auto shop. El Guapo’s is family-friendly, but don’t be taken aback by all of the young college students who flood through the doors on weekends since it’s blocks away from UNT. The food at El Guapo’s will definitely cure your Mexican food craving for a cheap price. They provide a big menu, but with the usual items you can find any-where. You can get any appetizer for less than $10 and any dip for less than $5. Two chicken chimichanga dinners with drinks is only $20. For the kiddies, you can actu-ally watch the cooks make their own tortillas, which they bring out to you hot and fresh. One thing about the menu, which makes them different, is you can make your own personal platter, lunch or dinner, for no more than $10. Also, the complimentary chips and salsa is probably the best around town. The food is good and the servers are always friendly, but it won’t be the best Mexican food you will ever taste. Mexican food is not the only thing served here; sandwiches, ribs, and burgers are also a choice on the menu. If you are looking for a place where you can let loose and get a good buzz from a margarita, El Guapo’s may not be the right place. Although tasty, their margaritas are not very strong. Even after two, a lightweight may not feel anything except for a waste of $12 leaving their wallet. All in all, El Guapo’s restaurant is a great place to go if you want the sit-down restaurant feel, but don’t want to spend a fortune and want a quick bite to cure your Mexican food craving.
E l G u a p o ’ s • 4 1 9 S o u t h E l m , D e n t o n9 4 0 - 5 6 6 - 5 5 7 5 • w w w . e l g u a p o s . c o m
Tex-Mex Denton Style NIGHTLY SPECIALS!
DINE-IN ONLY
MONDAYSENCHILADA
PLATE
TUESDAYSMEXICAN BEERS
ALL DAY
WEDNESDAYSXTENDED HAPPY HOUR
4PM TO CLOSE
THURSDAYSFAJITA SPECIAL
BREAKFAST, LUNCH& DINNER
SERVED DAILY FROM 9AM
MARGARITAS& MEXICAN FOOD
6434 E.MOCKINGBIRD DALLAS, TX 75214 214-826-5564
Solʼs NietoMexican Grill isa fun friendlyplace with a
jukeboxatmosphere,
neighborhoodfeel, amazing
food and greatmargaritas.FREE
3636 Frankford Rd. Ste. 390214-483-5225
Dec. 23, 2009 - Jan. 5, 2010blit
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Lehr Eco Trimmer & Blower As anyone who’s operated one knows, traditional gas-powered lawn tools are far from being “green.” The Lehr Eco Trimmer & Blower tackle this problem by running off 16.4 oz. Twist ‘n Go propane canisters allow for zero evaporative emission operation and zero-mess refueling. Other features of these eco-friendly lawn tools include a four-stroke engine with a no choke/no priming start-up, a two-hour run time off a single canister, no need for winterizing and more cost-effective use and maintenance than your average tool. Well played.Price - $180-$210
Courtesy: www.www.uncrate.com
by: Tunde A. Obazee – www.rationalradio.org
McIntosh MXA60Integrated Audio System The McIntosh 60th Anniversary MXA60 Integrated Audio System, the company’s first-ever standalone setup, gives you audiophile-quality sound in a beautifully compact design. And while its price tag might seem high, you’ve got to recognize that this thing was designed and built by the same team responsible for the $250,000 McIntosh Reference System. The tabletop system features a high-performance 75-watt-per-channel amplifier, a CD/SACD/MP3 player, vacuum tube preamplifier, an AM/FM/RBDS Tuner and 2-way bass reflex custom loudspeakers. All that is housed in metal casing with anodized aluminum accents and backlit glass faceplates with Peak Reading Watt meters. Price - $7,500
Canon PowerShot S90 Looking for SLR-like control on a pocket-friendly cam? Check out the Canon PowerShot S90. Packing a high sensitivity 10-megapixel sensor, the DIGIC 4 image processor and a customizable control ring, the S90 segues nicely from a beginner-level auto mode to full manual control, complete with aperture and shutter priority modes. A bright f/2.0, 3.8x optical zoom lens, RAW + JPEG support, and a 3-inch LCD round out the spec sheet, make the S90 a good compromise between size and image quality for advanced amateur shooters, and a great secondary cam for dSLR owners.Price - $600
It was exactly thirty years ago that I first set my foot on this soil in Dallas. As a student from Nigeria, I had one goal in mind and that was to complete my engineering degree and return to Africa to join the struggle against poverty. The only football I knew is what you call “soccer” and had never seen the pumpkin you call football here. I was
introduced to the Dallas Cowboys by my cousins who dressed up in full Dallas Cowboys outfits every Sunday to watch the games. I found it fascinating that both of my relatives from the motherland had been seriously indoctrinated into the Dallas Cowboys Hall of Fans. Watch-ing their excitement and what I considered then as silly, unusual be-haviors made me question the state of their mental health. I watched both of them with the same intensity that they watched the game. I vowed that I would return to Africa if I ever became too fanatical like my cousins. What happened between now and then is still a mystery to me. While I still think that soccer is still my religion, I have somehow allowed myself to become too involved with the Dallas Cowboys. Game day is a restless one for me. I often pace around the house in anticipation of the games with the hope of the Cowboys roping and slaughtering their opponents. A win for the Dallas Cowboys made my day but a loss left my family avoiding me until I cooled off. I cannot enumerate the effects of America’s team on me. I have since tried out twice as a kicker for the Cowboys. When I drove a taxicab, I gave Cowboy fans discounted rates while on the other hand, I made Eagle and Redskin fans raise their right hand to swear allegiance to the Dallas Cowboys as we drove past Texas Stadium. Some passen-
gers found it funny while others took offence but I had a job to do as a Dallas Cowboy fan. It was most troubling this past weekend when all in the sports world condemned the Dallas Cowboys to be slaughtered at the Su-perdome in New Orleans against the almighty New Orleans Saints.
Even the most dedicated fan like me, was hoping for not a win but just a good game. The whole nonsense about the winless month of December, Mr. Tony Romo cannot win the big one. On and on was the hopeless comments about our Cowboys. Then came the moment of truth. The big question of that day was W.W.B.D. (What Would Breesus Do). I thought that was the height of arrogance. I have been to New Orleans. I love it for its sinful entertainment and my heart is with New Orleans due to the tragedy of hurricane Katrina, but there are no Saints there. Reverend Romo and the Dal-las Cowboys marched into New Orleans Saturday with their ropes, rounded up the so-called Saints and branded the entire Superdome. Mr. Ware performed exorcism on Drew Brees while Rev. Romo per-formed baptism and forgave their sins. The Dallas Cowboys made a believer out of the congregation at the Superdome. They began to sing, “Oh, when the Cowboys go marchin’ in…I want to be in that number…” The question now is W.W.C.D.? How ‘Bout Them Cow-boys?
Listen to Tunde Obazee on the Point Blank Show on Rational Radio 1360am 7PM-8PM, Monday - Friday. “The Talk You’ve Been Missing” www.rationalradio.org
NO SAINTS IN SIN CITY ONLY BAPTISM BY REV. ROMO
By: Sybil Summers – sybilsummers.com
Wackiest Global NeW YeaR tRaditioNs
10. Latin - The day before the new year, women bathe themselves in a concoction of orange, cinnamon and rose petals. Later, it can be used to baste the turkey.
9. American - The legend is a top-hat-donning baby ushers in the new year and twelve months later, he has morphed into a 90-something man named Father Time. Only in America.
8. Dutch - In the Netherlands, people burn Christmas trees in the streets as a way of driving out spirits of the year past. Then they go halfsies on a bottle of booze to ring in the new year.
7. Danish - NYE in Denmark is celebrated by throwing dishes at your friends house. Sorta like confetti...but deadlier.
6. Spanish - Spaniards eat 12 grapes leading up to midnight on December 31st. The grapes represent the 12 months of the year and a wish is made before each bite.
5. British - The first visitor to the house after midnight sets the tone for the year. The person cannot be blonde, red-headed, female or Terrell Owens, as these people are supposedly bad luck.
4. Japanese - Paper lobsters are used as decorations in many Japanese houses at New Year. They are often placed next to the paper sushi and paper robots.
3. Ecuadorian - Legend has it, if you stand on a chair with luggage (for travel) and money (for good fortune) as the clock strikes midnight, your wishes will be granted. Tried and true.
2. Celtic - Irish people beat their houses with loaves of bread to drive away misfortune. Factor in a couple bottles of whiskey and some sheep and we’ve got a party!
1. Thai - People celebrate by chasing each other down the streets with buckets of water. Later, it can be used to baste the turkey.
Dec. 23, 2009 - Jan. 5, 2010blit
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ACROSS1.Loamydeposit6.Impactsound11.Musicwith jazzlikeriffs14.Usetoone’s advantage15.Crown16.Conclusion17.Relatingtothe stateofmarriage19. Prefix meaning “New”20.Becomenarrower21.Pertainingto theMoon23.Nothingatall27.Wearaway28.Fearful expectation32.Eyeshade33.Tastelesslyshowy34.Wisconsin (abbrev.)37.Onceagain38.Bellyache39.Sediment40.Permit41.Strainer42.Audio transmission43.Underground45.Flash48.Bureau49. A conical fishnet50.Intheair53.Long,longtime54.Sterility60.Carpet61.Wallpainting62.Film63.Frenchfor “Summer”64.Black65.Countryofthe pharaohs
DOWN1.Escape2.Eggcells3.Dine4.Whataknight iscalled5.Move unobtrusively6.Cease7.Aconiferoustree8.Den9.Thegenusof macaws10.Atallchestof drawers11.Ringwormbush12.Workdough13.Loveintensely18.Arithmetic22.Ashesholder 23.Pertainingto shipsatsea24. Express a thought25.Tipover26.Cultivate27.Assistant29.Evergladesbird30.Unsophisticated31.Ultra34.Broaden35.Pelvic36. Expressionless38.Taunt39.Rational41.Inspiringawe 42.Musicwitha syncopatedmelody43.Scatter44.Logsortimbers fastenedtogether45.Cubicmeter46. A freshwater fish47.Cooktop50.Atypeofhair style51.Notfat52.Parisianairport55.Essence56.Captain’sjournal57.OldWorldvine58.Gratuity59.Nevertheless
Blitz Weekly Funnies for the WeekQ: What do you give the blonde who has everything for Christmas? A: Penicillin. Q: What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? A: Santa only has three ho’s! Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. Q: Why can’t Santa have children? A: He only comes once a year.
The Office Party John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife putsome coffee in front of him. “Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened lastnight. Was it as bad as I think?” “Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.” “He’s an a$$hole,” John said. “Piss on him.” “You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.” “Well, screw him,” said John. “I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Whenyouwakeup,youwilldiscoverthat your daughter’s ugly spouse hasstolen all of your money, that yourabilitytowashyourclothesisgoneandthatdinnerisburning.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
You’reacommunist.Youwill realizethatyouhaven’tshoweredinwellover3 months, and it suddenly dawns onyouwhyyou’ve lostyour touchwiththeladies.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)
This week you’ll be mostly pitied.New opportunities arise as you arekidnapped and sold into sexual slavery in Azerbaijan. Don’t forget yourpassport!
Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)
Your great- great- grandchildren willcome back from the future and visityou on Tuesday or Thursday. Makesureyoustayhomealldaysoyoudonotmissthem.
Taurus (Apr. 20 - May 20)
This weekend is an excellent opportunitytogetdrunkandhumiliateyourself - unaware that your friendshave bugged your coat and arebroadcastingeverywordonline.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun. 21)
Paranoiahasoftengottenthebetterofyouinthepast.There’sasmallholeinthebottomofyourhead.Yourbrainsare starting to leak out and you arelosingyourmindquickly.
Cancer (Jun. 22 – Jul. 22)
Your identity will be stolen in the next 7days.Theidentitythiefwillquicklyrealizethatyouridentityissomiserablethat he will immediately return it toyou.
Leo (Jul. 23 - Aug. 22)
Your day will go from crap to totalcrap. Your so-called friends will bedisappointed with your glazed ham.You consider yourself a born leader.Othersthinkyouarepushy.
HorrorscopesVirgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
Impetuousness is your main faultthese days and you don’t even seemtorealizeit.Howoftendoyouputoffuntiltomorrowwhatyoushouldhavehaddonelastweek?!
Sagittarius(Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
You are inclined to be careless andimpractical,whichcausesyoutomakethesamemistakeoverandoveragain.You are sympathetic but others thinkyouareasucker.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
You become consumed with thecategoricalimperativetoeatthebrainsoftheinnocent,whichoddlyenoughisamoralactionthatcanbeuniversalized.Everyonearoundyouhatesyou.
Conservativeandafraidoftakingrisks.But that’s none of your concern asyoubecomeacquaintedwiththeSTDtreatment business, something whichwilllasttherestofyourisolatedlife.
Dec. 23, 2009 - Jan. 5, 2010blit
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Crossword Solutionby: Pat Moran“Man On His Throne”
Christmas Presents ThatMake A Difference
We here at the Last Call are aware of the hardships in the world. We know how hard life has been for the past few years. So being humble and all philanthropic, I have decided to give back... Please, save the applause ‘til later. These are the presents that I would give, if I had the opportunity. So without further delay, I will begin my “Christmas Miracles”: To Tiger Woods – I would give him a second cell phone and a new rear window for his SUV. To the BCS – I would give the BCS one large wrapped slab of dog crap to symbolize their effect on the season. Also to show how the committee is respected. To Brett Favre – A lifetime supply of cortisone shots and rogaine. To the Titans – I would give them the gift of removing the feet out of every NFL analysts mouths. Worst to First? Well, lets not get ahead of ourselves. To Every Television Political Analyst – To the joy of everyone with a half brain, the
Pundits would each receive a comically large pacifier, which I would encourage they use the moment they get the notion to speak. To Mark Mangino, the former Kansas coach – One of those 6 foot long party subs from Subway. That man is so incredibly obese, even his double chin has a double chin. To Alex Rodriguez – A Brand New Whizzanator, so that he can keep getting away with it. To Cincinnati and TCU – I would make them honorary “Ghosts of Pretty Great Arguments for a BCS Playoff,” two new characters in “A Christmas Carol” that are sure to make an appearance in the debate for years to come. To Elizabeth Lambert, New Mexico Soccer Enforcer and Youtube Star – Under her tree would be a contract for a MMA team, where she can show off her cutthroat fighting moves without getting in trouble. And to fans of BLITZ WEEKLY and LAST CALL - Have a freaking Merry Christmas.
