Beyond the principle of love and hateBeyond the principle of love and hate The wish to make this presentation was born out of the collaboration between The wish to make this presentation was born out of the collaboration between

the “Al. Obregia” Psychiatry Hospital and the Complex for Communitarian the “Al. Obregia” Psychiatry Hospital and the Complex for Communitarian Services Găieşti, collaboration which has initiated from the necessity of a few Services Găieşti, collaboration which has initiated from the necessity of a few teenagers living in the center, to receive specialized psychiatric assistance. teenagers living in the center, to receive specialized psychiatric assistance.

By means of this paper we intend to express the specific problems of an By means of this paper we intend to express the specific problems of an institutionalized center, created for teenagers arriving from families with severe institutionalized center, created for teenagers arriving from families with severe relationing disabilities, for whom the Social Assistance Service has decided that it relationing disabilities, for whom the Social Assistance Service has decided that it was impossible to continue living in the family was impossible to continue living in the family

It’s a center operating since 2002, in which there are permanently 47 young It’s a center operating since 2002, in which there are permanently 47 young people with ages from 16 to 25 years – who live in apartments; there are other people with ages from 16 to 25 years – who live in apartments; there are other 25 places for teenagers with disabilities, 15 places for household violence 25 places for teenagers with disabilities, 15 places for household violence (couples mother-child – in cases of emotional abuse, either verbal or physical by (couples mother-child – in cases of emotional abuse, either verbal or physical by the husband) and 5 places for neglected and exploited children – with disabilitiesthe husband) and 5 places for neglected and exploited children – with disabilities

The title “The title “Violence – beyond the love – hate alternativeViolence – beyond the love – hate alternative” represents a ” represents a metaphor for what we have considered to be the relational metaphor for what we have considered to be the relational quintessence of these teenagers– acting-outs, abuse, suicide attempts, quintessence of these teenagers– acting-outs, abuse, suicide attempts, rapes, fast and brutal transitions from idealization to devaluationrapes, fast and brutal transitions from idealization to devaluation

The team working with these teenagers is formed by psychologists, social The team working with these teenagers is formed by psychologists, social assistants and young referents, occasionally by the psychiatrist physician who assistants and young referents, occasionally by the psychiatrist physician who has been addressed in the cases of decompensation, and that’s the reason why has been addressed in the cases of decompensation, and that’s the reason why the paper includes also peculiarities of some psychological counseling or psycho-the paper includes also peculiarities of some psychological counseling or psycho-pedagogical attempts, stressing the difficulties resulted from the disharmonic pedagogical attempts, stressing the difficulties resulted from the disharmonic structuring of personality of the affected teenagers. structuring of personality of the affected teenagers.

The environment of origin and the degree of culture of such teenagers play a The environment of origin and the degree of culture of such teenagers play a very important role, beyond which a series of fears, complexes and failures very important role, beyond which a series of fears, complexes and failures persistpersist. .

Institutionalized Teenagers– Institutionalized Teenagers– an overviewan overview

A large extent of such teenagers have a significant I.Q. over the average; A large extent of such teenagers have a significant I.Q. over the average; normally, they have an elder brother or sister who is a student or who works in normally, they have an elder brother or sister who is a student or who works in the education fieldthe education field

Very few of them keep in touch with the parents; generally the relationing Very few of them keep in touch with the parents; generally the relationing problems have been with the fatherproblems have been with the father

No disturbances related to alcohol, drugs addiction or to mendicancy have No disturbances related to alcohol, drugs addiction or to mendicancy have been reported at the center, the most frequent claims regarding school been reported at the center, the most frequent claims regarding school abandon. There have been cases when the social assistant or the referent abandon. There have been cases when the social assistant or the referent went with them and attended the classes. The fact that they derive from this went with them and attended the classes. The fact that they derive from this protected system grants to them priority in being re-integrated in the active protected system grants to them priority in being re-integrated in the active school circuit – school circuit – for instance, there are 18 years old teenagers who attend now for instance, there are 18 years old teenagers who attend now the IX-th grade. the IX-th grade. They reject any natural person or institutionalized teacher, They reject any natural person or institutionalized teacher, fact which may be regarded as fact which may be regarded as an attempt to build a Super-Egoan attempt to build a Super-Ego

The tendency of the classmates and of the surrounding persons is to regard The tendency of the classmates and of the surrounding persons is to regard them according to what they say, not to sympathize with them, but their them according to what they say, not to sympathize with them, but their persisting wish is persisting wish is to hideto hide and and to hide themselvesto hide themselves. .

They generally do not have adapting-related problems upon their arrival at the They generally do not have adapting-related problems upon their arrival at the center, especially since many of them arrive from orphan asylums and center, especially since many of them arrive from orphan asylums and consider the environment here much more favorable. Many of them are consider the environment here much more favorable. Many of them are abused children abused children and they use among them and they use among them a specific language a specific language to which they to which they pretend that the social assistant and the referent should be acquainted pretend that the social assistant and the referent should be acquainted a a priori, priori, without the need for themselves to make any effort in this sense; upon without the need for themselves to make any effort in this sense; upon the failure to comply with this wish, they hardly tolerate frustration and they the failure to comply with this wish, they hardly tolerate frustration and they manifest fury and verbal violence fury. manifest fury and verbal violence fury.

The Presentation of the Problems from The Presentation of the Problems from

a Psycho-social Perspectivea Psycho-social Perspective Barriers in communication Barriers in communication The longing for affectivityThe longing for affectivity The lack of confidence in themselves The lack of confidence in themselves The need for stimulation in any kind of activityThe need for stimulation in any kind of activity Behavior disturbances such as: escape, lie, theftBehavior disturbances such as: escape, lie, theft Incapacity to receive what they are offered – Incapacity to receive what they are offered – they sell or they they sell or they

even offer for free the received food and clotheseven offer for free the received food and clothes Failure to assume the personal responsibility- they demand Failure to assume the personal responsibility- they demand

everything everything from the social assistant – from the social assistant – „you must go with me „you must go with me wherever I need, that’s why you get paid!”wherever I need, that’s why you get paid!”

The need to be in the center of attention – either by creating The need to be in the center of attention – either by creating problems, or by conversive persistent symptoms – problems, or by conversive persistent symptoms – the the example of the little girl who managed to convince to be example of the little girl who managed to convince to be bought a hearing aid, although the otoacoustic examinations bought a hearing aid, although the otoacoustic examinations have proven that it was unnecessary. have proven that it was unnecessary.

The failure to observe the internal regulation, which co-exists The failure to observe the internal regulation, which co-exists with a huge fear of being excluded form the system; it must with a huge fear of being excluded form the system; it must be mentioned that this fear exists mostly with the ones with be mentioned that this fear exists mostly with the ones with high intellectual levelhigh intellectual level

Peculiarities in expressing intentions and Peculiarities in expressing intentions and emotions at institutionalized teenagers (I)emotions at institutionalized teenagers (I)

They do not manage to overcome They do not manage to overcome the conviction that they are known the conviction that they are known and treated and treated „as objects„as objects”, there ”, there being no time left for them to be being no time left for them to be known known as personsas persons

The respond aggressively to what The respond aggressively to what they are offered and they are they are offered and they are considered „considered „children whom one has children whom one has to keep canningto keep canning” because they do ” because they do not know another way to receivenot know another way to receive

They act as if they only had rights, They act as if they only had rights, but no liabilities towards this but no liabilities towards this system – „system – „the state must provide the state must provide for me”for me”

They sometimes awake in the They sometimes awake in the auxiliary staff reactions of the type: auxiliary staff reactions of the type: ““give anything to them, just for us give anything to them, just for us to get rid of themto get rid of them!” – !” – receiving by receiving by force + rejectionforce + rejection

They escape from a good place and They escape from a good place and go in unknowngo in unknown

They do not have the feeling of They do not have the feeling of HOME and they are disturbed if HOME and they are disturbed if they feel that the assistance staff they feel that the assistance staff would like this from them would like this from them

Desideratums: - bidirectionalDesideratums: - bidirectional communication would be the princeps communication would be the princeps factor factor

Counseling leads to the overcoming of Counseling leads to the overcoming of the crisis by means of its anxiolitical the crisis by means of its anxiolitical effect effect

importantimportant: talking at the same level of : talking at the same level of affective integrity affective integrity

The raising of The raising of empathyempathy to the level of to the level of “key” factor in gestures and dialogue “key” factor in gestures and dialogue

The stress should also be put not only The stress should also be put not only on the on the crystallization of an equilibrated crystallization of an equilibrated personality, but also on the peculiar personality, but also on the peculiar employment of the psychologist’s employment of the psychologist’s reaction as a trigger of the wish for reaction as a trigger of the wish for change of such teenagers change of such teenagers

In the work with such children, the other In the work with such children, the other becomes that „quick-witted” being, who becomes that „quick-witted” being, who offers feed-back for the teenagers’ offers feed-back for the teenagers’ “endeavour” “endeavour”

A genuine counseling with them A genuine counseling with them involves the overcoming of the explicit involves the overcoming of the explicit and implicit messages many times and implicit messages many times through through suggestionsuggestion – the role of – the role of imperative communicationimperative communication

Peculiarities in expressing intents and Peculiarities in expressing intents and emotions at institutionalized teenagers (IIemotions at institutionalized teenagers (II))

The label of membership of an institutionalized center The label of membership of an institutionalized center involves a strong adherence to this involves a strong adherence to this statute, statute, fact which fact which renders relationing much more difficult, and, at last, also renders relationing much more difficult, and, at last, also the ego-syntony of the feelings. the ego-syntony of the feelings.

The reaction is induced by the frustrations which generate The reaction is induced by the frustrations which generate interest and need for affectioninterest and need for affection

These teenagers often have the feeling of being These teenagers often have the feeling of being abandoned, do not perceive the dimensions of counseling, abandoned, do not perceive the dimensions of counseling, which renders them claiming, which leads to a rejection which renders them claiming, which leads to a rejection behavior response by the qualified staffbehavior response by the qualified staff

The ones deeply affected, although they long for a genuine The ones deeply affected, although they long for a genuine relationship, perceive in another manner the duration of the relationship, perceive in another manner the duration of the meetings also during the sittings, meetings also during the sittings, finding refuge in the finding refuge in the protection granted by their statusprotection granted by their status

Pathology and pathogeny in the Pathology and pathogeny in the behavior of these teenagersbehavior of these teenagers

Prostitution–Prostitution– in particular at the Romany in particular at the Romany teenagers, in the cases when it has been teenagers, in the cases when it has been acknowledged that the natural mother acknowledged that the natural mother has been the one who has led her has been the one who has led her daughter to prostitute; there is a daughter to prostitute; there is a contract of collaboration with the police contract of collaboration with the police of the town in which they attempt to of the town in which they attempt to break the chainbreak the chain

Physical violencePhysical violence– is the most intense in – is the most intense in the same fratry and in particular in the the same fratry and in particular in the case of the ones of Romany ethnics; it case of the ones of Romany ethnics; it represents an acting-out which adopts represents an acting-out which adopts the form of a primitive behavior in which the form of a primitive behavior in which the disputes initiate from food, some few the disputes initiate from food, some few from moneyfrom money

Verbal violenceVerbal violence– even against the – even against the psychologist, the social assistant or the psychologist, the social assistant or the referent assisting themreferent assisting them

Behaviors of divisionBehaviors of division of the staff in of the staff in „good” and „bad„good” and „bad” concomitant with ” concomitant with subsequent transitions subsequent transitions from idealization from idealization to devaluationto devaluation, which involves also other , which involves also other state institutions and which produce state institutions and which produce massive conflicts between them and the massive conflicts between them and the ones care who attend them, between the ones care who attend them, between the staff of the Center and the upper forums– staff of the Center and the upper forums– the example of the group of teenagers the example of the group of teenagers who have complaint at the church that who have complaint at the church that they were not well attended.they were not well attended.

The structuring of a disharmonic The structuring of a disharmonic personality, predominant of B cluster, personality, predominant of B cluster, basically borderline and antisocial, basically borderline and antisocial, the the starting point being the chronic starting point being the chronic emotional deficiency, which involves a emotional deficiency, which involves a mechanism of the type: however much mechanism of the type: however much were these teenagers offered, there is were these teenagers offered, there is insufficient left, since they lack the insufficient left, since they lack the pattern to be able to pattern to be able to receivereceive. They . They arrive to feel dissatisfaction, to the arrive to feel dissatisfaction, to the devaluated of the others, and when devaluated of the others, and when they become aware of the mechanism they become aware of the mechanism which they have activated – occurs the which they have activated – occurs the escape escape

Major psychiatric symptomsMajor psychiatric symptoms – they are – they are accused of accused of mythomaniamythomania, they address , they address dissociate defenses, to major dissociate defenses, to major converies, to converies, to projection and even to projection and even to undissimulated suicidal attemptsundissimulated suicidal attempts, , since the mechanisms are mostly since the mechanisms are mostly unconsciousunconscious

Depressive episodesDepressive episodes when they do when they do exist, they overlap the hereinbefore exist, they overlap the hereinbefore detailed personality structures and detailed personality structures and they are caused less by a per se they are caused less by a per se endogeny. endogeny.

Expressing - understandingExpressing - understanding

RapesRapes– there is an – there is an abuseabuse in the history of in the history of many of these teenagers. It is hard to many of these teenagers. It is hard to investigate the extent to which we deal with investigate the extent to which we deal with a case when the beginning of the sexual life a case when the beginning of the sexual life occurred through a rape (there have been occurred through a rape (there have been cases when the police investigations have cases when the police investigations have established this), to which extent the established this), to which extent the victim’s behaviorvictim’s behavior may be incriminated as may be incriminated as trigger (there being here trigger (there being here money miragemoney mirage and and the pressure of the group of the pressure of the group of belongingnessbelongingness when such events have when such events have occurred in the history of the other girls) or occurred in the history of the other girls) or if it is only a if it is only a phantasmagoric traumaphantasmagoric trauma

The psychologist often communicates to The psychologist often communicates to them cognitive or sensorial messages them cognitive or sensorial messages relying on his/her own experience, which relying on his/her own experience, which makes such teenagers feel trustless, since makes such teenagers feel trustless, since they they knowknow that that they do not reveal they do not reveal themselves to somebody similar to themselves to somebody similar to themselvesthemselves

The teenager receives the messages The teenager receives the messages filtering them from the perspective of filtering them from the perspective of his/her knowledge, employing a maximal his/her knowledge, employing a maximal deformation of the information, since deformation of the information, since

Communication occurs much in the Communication occurs much in the blind blind window panewindow pane, the unconscious functioning , the unconscious functioning revealing unexpected, negative behaviors. revealing unexpected, negative behaviors.

They lose a huge quantity of energy in the, They lose a huge quantity of energy in the, hide gamehide game

To emit To perceive

Emitter Receiver

To express To understand

Emitter

Receiver

Approaches by the psychologist or by the social Approaches by the psychologist or by the social assistant which have been proven to operate as assistant which have been proven to operate as

barriers in the relationing with such teenagers (I)barriers in the relationing with such teenagers (I)

Reactions of the type Reactions of the type ““control yourselfcontrol yourself”, ”, message which message which paradoxically paradoxically consolidates the consolidates the dysfunctional behavior dysfunctional behavior patterns, which provide patterns, which provide reasons for disharmonic reasons for disharmonic personality features and personality features and lead them to externalize lead them to externalize more and more more and more symptoms from the symptoms from the psychiatric spherepsychiatric sphere

““the stoic acceptance of the stoic acceptance of the realitythe reality” ”

The huge gap between the advice The huge gap between the advice which they need and their which they need and their inability to inability to apply such adviceapply such advice

The contradictionThe contradiction of the received of the received messages messages with the needs of the personwith the needs of the person Advice presented much too brutally or Advice presented much too brutally or without convictionwithout conviction

The inobservance a of the teenager’s The inobservance a of the teenager’s wisheswishes

the blaming, be it even unexpressed, the blaming, be it even unexpressed, but felt, of the cultural environment of but felt, of the cultural environment of origin of the sameorigin of the same

The attempts of the staff to The attempts of the staff to askask themthem are immediately are immediately interpreted as an interpreted as an inobservance of the privacyinobservance of the privacy; they ; they always prefer the model of a always prefer the model of a relationship basically relying on relationship basically relying on being being listenedlistened

A therapeutic relation relying on trustA therapeutic relation relying on trust is often insufficient, since they want is often insufficient, since they want everything everything from the other, and if the from the other, and if the psychologist or the social assistant psychologist or the social assistant missed the proper moment, there missed the proper moment, there comes the consciousness or the comes the consciousness or the unaware refusal by the teenager to unaware refusal by the teenager to apply in practice the receivedapply in practice the received solutions.solutions.

Approaches by the psychologist or by the social Approaches by the psychologist or by the social assistant which have been proven to operate as assistant which have been proven to operate as

barriers in the relationing with such teenagers (II)barriers in the relationing with such teenagers (II)

External “barriers”:External “barriers”:

The cultural matrixThe cultural matrix– – when it it when it it characterized by specific curtoms with deep characterized by specific curtoms with deep signification signification (such as in the case of Romany (such as in the case of Romany people)people) or by parents with antecedents de or by parents with antecedents de proxenetism, jail, alcohol addiction, proxenetism, jail, alcohol addiction, the the option to succeed in redeeming oneself option to succeed in redeeming oneself or not is much distant from the or not is much distant from the voluntary control voluntary control

The duration of the sittingThe duration of the sitting– from – from insufficient to redundant messages insufficient to redundant messages (there is a capacity of such teenagers (there is a capacity of such teenagers to receive the messages)to receive the messages)

A significant risk consists in the A significant risk consists in the dependency upon the status of sick or dependency upon the status of sick or of hospitalof hospital – it’s about those teenagers – it’s about those teenagers who have been hard to convince at the who have been hard to convince at the beginning to accept a psychiatric visit or a beginning to accept a psychiatric visit or a recovery when there is the fear of a recovery when there is the fear of a decompensation, following which they decompensation, following which they regard recovery as a regard recovery as a labelinglabeling, fact which , fact which leads to a leads to a progressive diminishing of the progressive diminishing of the volitional effort to keep one’s own volitional effort to keep one’s own pulsions under control, they pulsions under control, they externalize in short-circuited reactions externalize in short-circuited reactions of fury and in iclastic crisis, compelling of fury and in iclastic crisis, compelling practically the physician to plus the practically the physician to plus the diagnosticdiagnostic and later on, they will enter in and later on, they will enter in the psychiatric circuit, eventually requestingthe psychiatric circuit, eventually requesting further on handicap certificatesfurther on handicap certificates

Inner “barriers”:Inner “barriers”:

The psychologist’s too deep The psychologist’s too deep involvement in the content of involvement in the content of the teenagers’ messages – the teenagers’ messages – significance of his/her own significance of his/her own fantasiesfantasies

The fear, paired more or less The fear, paired more or less with the teenager’s shamewith the teenager’s shame

The therapist’s fear of The therapist’s fear of acknowledging and of acknowledging and of admitting the lack of feeling in admitting the lack of feeling in a specific relationa specific relation

The embarrassment in asking The embarrassment in asking specific questions specific questions

Subjective assumptions Subjective assumptions relying on an older experience relying on an older experience

The unconscious wish to The unconscious wish to control the life of these control the life of these teenagersteenagers

A too much big wish to help A too much big wish to help themthem

The disclosure of their secrets The disclosure of their secrets the emotional connotation of the emotional connotation of

specific words specific words

Psychological counseling elements Psychological counseling elements employed for overcoming the barriersemployed for overcoming the barriers

THE ROLE OF COUNSELING - To understanding - To discover something exceeding the instituţional

THE PURPOSE OF COUNSELING - To gain confidence and willingness - To fight stigma - Seeing beyond "here and now"

COUNSELLING RESULT - teen gets information, Mental and autonomy - Highlights are: • Willingness • will • to make

ESPECTED BEHAVIOR: - to create the feeling of holding teen more power to take care of the own I at the maximum of his opportunities - to create a new behavior or change "not good" - resistance to the challenge - to maintain acquired beliefs in that environment

Information – as a first need of the Information – as a first need of the

institutionalized teenagerinstitutionalized teenager

These teenagers have many preconceptions resulted from the painful These teenagers have many preconceptions resulted from the painful experiences or from the fear of being stigmatized and come to discuss experiences or from the fear of being stigmatized and come to discuss with the psychologist or with the social assistant to the with the psychologist or with the social assistant to the sole purpose sole purpose of of checking or perhaps even validating checking or perhaps even validating their own thinkingtheir own thinking

Their counseling involves Their counseling involves relationing, communication relationing, communication and and helphelp Advising Advising is a basic need of these teenagers, since at difference from is a basic need of these teenagers, since at difference from

the others of the same age, they are characterized by: limited the others of the same age, they are characterized by: limited resources and knowledge, improper individual reactions and strategies, resources and knowledge, improper individual reactions and strategies, disabilities and forged existencedisabilities and forged existence

In the Center we In the Center we do not do not establish establish extensive psycho-therapy extensive psycho-therapy targets, but targets, but rather a process of maturing, of affective progress in rather a process of maturing, of affective progress in order to increase the ability to adopt decisions, in order to solve special order to increase the ability to adopt decisions, in order to solve special problems, the „fight” against the emotional crisis, the processing of problems, the „fight” against the emotional crisis, the processing of inner conflicts, the improvement of the relations inner conflicts, the improvement of the relations between between them and them and the the othersothers

The attempts of each and every teenager should be stimulated in part The attempts of each and every teenager should be stimulated in part and his/her personal values respectedand his/her personal values respected

Important elements on which the Important elements on which the relation with these teenagers is relation with these teenagers is

groundedgrounded

The precise delineation of some purposes relied The precise delineation of some purposes relied on one’s on one’s own conviction on world and lifeown conviction on world and life

Positive examplesPositive examples motivation- trust, commitmentmotivation- trust, commitment powerpower fear of negative consequences– with regard to fear of negative consequences– with regard to

their surrounding examplestheir surrounding examples wishwish resources- support by the staff resources- support by the staff skillsskills

Methods of „intervention” in Methods of „intervention” in cases of emotional crisis cases of emotional crisis

The intervention in crisis The intervention in crisis involves first of all helping the involves first of all helping the teenager talkteenager talk

The employed “instruments” are:The employed “instruments” are:Open questionsOpen questions““Tricks” - Tricks” - “What’s your opinion about?”“What’s your opinion about?” reflectionreflection reformulationreformulationexpression in complex but simple terms expression in complex but simple terms the ability to encourage – the ability to encourage – close examples close examples non-verbal messages – in order to express the non-verbal messages – in order to express the

interestinterest

Advice stylesAdvice styles

The directive The directive style:style:

The weak point would be The weak point would be that that one may reach to a one may reach to a coercive persuasion with coercive persuasion with punitive valencespunitive valences

These teenagers, taking These teenagers, taking into account their special into account their special condition and social status, condition and social status,

require such anrequire such an attitude, in attitude, in which which responsibility responsibility belongs belongs less to oneself and less to oneself and moreover, moreover, to be able to to be able to think extra-punitivelythink extra-punitively

The non-directive The non-directive style:style:

Involves a facilitating attitude, of Involves a facilitating attitude, of support and of neutralitysupport and of neutrality

Is a cathartic method, in which the Is a cathartic method, in which the other accepts the emotional reliefs, other accepts the emotional reliefs, remaining supportiveremaining supportive

The risk which might occur is that The risk which might occur is that the teenager delegated the the teenager delegated the authority – authority – „you tell me what to do!” „you tell me what to do!” – – trap in which one may easily fall, trap in which one may easily fall, because the „maneuver” is because the „maneuver” is flatteringflattering

what counts most are the what counts most are the peculiarities of the personality of peculiarities of the personality of the affected one, since the advice the affected one, since the advice must be „dropped”, discouraging a must be „dropped”, discouraging a much too active a role of the much too active a role of the psychologist (imposing the opinion psychologist (imposing the opinion of the same is sometimes of the same is sometimes experienced as an aggressiveness)experienced as an aggressiveness)

the importance of that self - the importance of that self - awareness – for the therapist to awareness – for the therapist to control his/her own words, emotions, control his/her own words, emotions, to to keep them „under control”keep them „under control”

there is still the problem regarding there is still the problem regarding involvement – from involvement – from „entering with „entering with emotional support” emotional support” to to offering offering advice, advice, internal dependant internal dependant oscillations and of sudden oscillations and of sudden transitions of such teenagers from transitions of such teenagers from idealization to devaluation.idealization to devaluation.

The counseling desideratums of The counseling desideratums of such teenagers (I)such teenagers (I)

The hope for the things to get better in the futureThe hope for the things to get better in the future – creates to the ones who are demoralized, restless, – creates to the ones who are demoralized, restless, powerless and helpless, the feeling of self-efficiency. It powerless and helpless, the feeling of self-efficiency. It may be considered an element of suggestion. may be considered an element of suggestion.

A new view upon him/her and upon the lived A new view upon him/her and upon the lived situation – situation – by offering information on emotional by offering information on emotional perturbations and on the alternatives to overcome the perturbations and on the alternatives to overcome the deadlocks. Here comes the likeliness of a new deadlocks. Here comes the likeliness of a new perception. It’s about perception. It’s about another another explicative system which explicative system which should be apprehended. should be apprehended.

A friendly assistance relationA friendly assistance relation – the attentive – the attentive listening, the sympathy and a doses of optimism gain listening, the sympathy and a doses of optimism gain their trusttheir trust

The building-up a good social network of The building-up a good social network of emotional supportemotional support – the resilience (protective) factors – the resilience (protective) factors necessary for support and assistancenecessary for support and assistance

The counseling desideratums The counseling desideratums of such teenagers (II)of such teenagers (II)

One should not forget their wish to be supplied an One should not forget their wish to be supplied an internal regulation policy, internal regulation policy, since we deal with since we deal with emotionally disintegrated persons, with insurmountable emotionally disintegrated persons, with insurmountable tensions created by confused visions upon life. tensions created by confused visions upon life.

One should find One should find compensations compensations and build-up the and build-up the individual responsibilityindividual responsibility in order to fight against in order to fight against passivity and resignation, especially since the values-passivity and resignation, especially since the values-related issue is currently, a macro-social issue. related issue is currently, a macro-social issue.

It becomes more and more important the It becomes more and more important the content, the content, the processing and the rendering operational the life processing and the rendering operational the life situation situation which the teenager brings into discussion. which the teenager brings into discussion. The decision remains at his discretion, but the therapist The decision remains at his discretion, but the therapist is involved in is involved in the clearing-out of the things the clearing-out of the things by means of by means of his/her fundamental position on world and life. his/her fundamental position on world and life.

The essence continues to consist in The essence continues to consist in preserving an preserving an attitudinal continuityattitudinal continuity

The counseling desideratums of such

teenagers (III) One should stress the quality of the relationship – One should stress the quality of the relationship – un-un-

possessive warmth, genuineness and comprehension of possessive warmth, genuineness and comprehension of the feelingsthe feelings

The other becomes an advisor, an The other becomes an advisor, an ImagoImago – person of – person of reference to whom the teenager adheresreference to whom the teenager adheres

His/her fantasies operate mostly during the periods His/her fantasies operate mostly during the periods between between meetings, leading to an meetings, leading to an impact, to a impact, to a variation of the perceptionvariation of the perception

Although the scope depends on the life issue effectively Although the scope depends on the life issue effectively presented and by the teenager’s conceptual system, we presented and by the teenager’s conceptual system, we should omit from consideration the should omit from consideration the „local”, „local”, „ad-hoc” „ad-hoc” settlement settlement – which depends on habits and on culture. – which depends on habits and on culture. In case the offered therapeutic solution was in total In case the offered therapeutic solution was in total disagreement with the teenager’s previous educational disagreement with the teenager’s previous educational patterns, or „a priories” (in the meaning of patterns, or „a priories” (in the meaning of unconsciously built-up), it appears a break, a unconsciously built-up), it appears a break, a discontinuity, on which discontinuity, on which the equilibriumthe equilibrium, , the equilibration the equilibration or the re-equilibration seem flimsy. or the re-equilibration seem flimsy.

Transfer and counter-Transfer and counter-transfertransfer

In working with such teenagers, the transfer of problematic and of In working with such teenagers, the transfer of problematic and of aggressiveness is extensive, and this is the reason why when the aggressiveness is extensive, and this is the reason why when the communication breakdown occurs, the other is perceived on a hostility position. communication breakdown occurs, the other is perceived on a hostility position.

The transfer The transfer belongs to a pattern expectation of the respective teenager, of a belongs to a pattern expectation of the respective teenager, of a preformed image on authority and on an ideal Ego related to knowledge, on the preformed image on authority and on an ideal Ego related to knowledge, on the power to change the course of one’s life, on the social position and on the power to change the course of one’s life, on the social position and on the affectivity source.affectivity source.

In case his expectations were deceived there comes rejection and defamationIn case his expectations were deceived there comes rejection and defamation In the particular case to which we refer there is a higher risk of negative In the particular case to which we refer there is a higher risk of negative

counter-transfer, since we deal with claiming, unpleasant teenagers, who counter-transfer, since we deal with claiming, unpleasant teenagers, who demand a lot from us and to whom we perceive as demand a lot from us and to whom we perceive as therapeutic failurestherapeutic failures

Especially since many times, they actually get in contact with a negative Especially since many times, they actually get in contact with a negative experience related to their affective-relational attempts, reason why their experience related to their affective-relational attempts, reason why their relation relation must be well-defined, the competition should be avoid and the must be well-defined, the competition should be avoid and the sympathy and comprehension must be offered, in order to make them more sympathy and comprehension must be offered, in order to make them more „forgiving”„forgiving”

Nevertheless, any relations should limit itself to offering Nevertheless, any relations should limit itself to offering as much as much encouragement as the real support of their life situation allowsencouragement as the real support of their life situation allows

The extreme risks would be represented by The extreme risks would be represented by alexitimyalexitimy or by a deformed and or by a deformed and defective para-communication by means of the suffering bodydefective para-communication by means of the suffering body