beloved benefactor by yvonne whittal
TRANSCRIPT
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BELOVED
BENEFACTOR
Yvonne Whittal
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Although she had never met him, Toni felt through his letters that
she knew the unknown benefactor who had been so kind and
generous to her ever since she was a ten-year-old orphan, and she
relied on him heavily. So it was a sad blow when he wrote to say he
thought it best that their correspondence should come to an end. It
was fortunate that at just this' time Toni should have met TarquinRadloff, a man she knew she could love and who could perhaps take
the place of her benefactor. But Tarquin persisted in treating her as a
child and keeping himself at a distance. Could Toni put up with this
situation for long?
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Ross and Dulcie for foster-parents, and two more charming people I
have yet to meet..Then there's this unknown benefactor of yours
who appears to lavish money on you, and he can thank his lucky
stars that you're such an unassuming person, or he might have found
himself saddled with a little money- grabber who was a perfect little
snob. If I'd been in your position, I think I would have become themost horrible creature.'
'Fay, you're a dear friend,' Toni laughed off her embarrassment as
she grabbed her clothes and a sponge bag, 'but if I don't make a dash
for the bathroom, I might find myself at the end of a long queue, and
then I shall miss my train to Pretoria.'
Some minutes later, as Toni allowed herself the brief luxury of
soaking in the hot bath, she thought of the past ten years, and the
almost fairy-tale existence she had led since that dreadful day when
a car accident had robbed her of both her parents.
With no immediate family willing, or able, to take her into their
home, she was placed in the care of an orphanage, where the food
was nourishing but dreadful, and the sombre green walls had given
her the shivers. After a month of acute unhappiness in those
cheerless surroundings, she was called to the matron's office one
dreary afternoon early in December when the long summer holiday
loomed ahead like a nightmare. And it was there, in the austere
atmosphere of the matron's office with its filing cabinets andphotographs of committees past and present, that Toni met Ross
Evans for the first time.
Tall, authoritative, and greying, swiftly he seated himself on the
straight-backed wooden chair, and drew Toni to his side. He
explained that she had been placed in his custody, and that an
unknown benefactor had undertaken the task of paying for hereducation, and whatever else she might require in the future.
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None of this had made any sense to Toni as a ten- year-old, but,
with her meagre belongings packed in one small suitcase, she was
whisked through the rain to a waiting car, and her time in the
orphanage seemed no more than a bad dream which she had luckily
escaped from.
Ross and Dulcie Evans, with no children of their own, took Toni
into their exquisite home in Waterkloof on the outskirts of Pretoria.
She was eventually sent to the most expensive boarding school, but
her holidays were spent with Ross and Dulcie. Their home became
her own, and their love and kindness soon kindled a warm response
in Toni which, even now, made her think of them with deep
affection and gratitude.
It was at the age of fourteen that she became curious for the first
time about her unknown benefactor, and the reasons for his
generosity. Ross, an influential lawyer, had parried her queries for
some time before he finally admitted that it was a man who, for
personal reasons, wished .to remain anonymous. He could not revealthe reason for her benefactor's generosity, but, at Toni's insistence,
he had eventually arranged that she could correspond with this man,
and that he would personally act as go-between.
That was how the unusual correspondence had begun between Toni
and her benefactor. Now, almost six years later, they still wrote to
each other, and Toni derived such pleasure from his letters that shewas quite frequently distraught with concern when his replies were
delayed for some reason. He had become her anchor, her
knowledgeable adviser, and someone she could confide in without
the fear of being considered childish. He knew her hopes and
desires, and understood the loneliness that often overwhelmed her
on the oddest occasions. Her birthdays were never forgotten, and a
beautifully wrapped gift would always arrive with a card attached in
which he had written a few words in his strong, bold handwriting.
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'Yes.' His dark brown hair was evenly flecked with grey, she noticed
as she approached him warily. 'I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.'
'I'm Tarquin Radloff,' he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as
he held out his hand, and her own was engulfed in a warm clasp.
'You have perhaps heard Ross and Dulcie mention my name?'
'Oh, yes, often,' she recalled suddenly, her glance anxious. 'There
isn't anything the matter with them, is there, Mr Radloff?'
'No, you can relax on that score,' he smiled again, displaying strong
white teeth against the tan of his rugged features. 'I'm driving out to
Pretoria to see Ross, so he suggested that I give you a lift to saveyou the uncomfortable train journey.'
'It was kind of Ross to think of me, and of you to agree. I do so hate
these train journeys.' She hesitated briefly, aware that he was
observing her rather closely. 'When did you want to leave?'
'At once, if you're ready.'
She thought of her suitcase which was packed, except for a few last-
minute things, and smiled. 'Would you give me five minutes to get
my things together?'
'Certainly, if I shan't be committing an offence by smoking here?' he
said, slipping his hand into his jacket pocket and hauling out a
straight-stemmed pipe.
'Of course not,' she said quickly, finding an ashtray and placing it on
the table beside a comfortable chair. 'I shan't be long.'
'Well?' Fay demanded, swinging her feet off the bed as Toni enteredtheir bedroom.
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'His name is Tarquin Radloff. He's a friend of Ross and Dulcie's,
and he's giving me a lift to Pretoria,' Toni replied hurriedly as she
packed the remainder of her belongings and closed the lid of the
suitcase.
'Lucky you!'
'Why lucky me?'
'He's awfully good-looking, in a distinguished sort of way,' Fay
remarked with a hint of amusement. 'Didn't you notice?'
'Yes, I did, as a matter of fact,' Toni replied as she threw her jacketover her arm. 'He has a nice smile.'
Fay's expression sobered. 'Are you sure he is who he says he is, and
that he isn't planning to abduct you, or something equally nasty?'
Toni's eyes widened with dismay. 'Really, Fay! What reason would
he have for doing something like that?'
'You're very trusting, you know, and you do have a wealthy
benefactor who's concerned about your welfare.'
'Don't be silly!'
'It may sound silly, but it's happened before, and I would hate it tohappen to you.'
'Are you trying to frighten me, by any chance?'
Fay sighed exasperatedly and rose to her feet to grasp Toni by the
shoulders. 'I'm very fond of you, Toni, and I'm merely issuing a
word of warning.'
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'But he doesn't look like the kind of person who could do something
dreadful.'
'People like that seldom look the part,' Fay said knowingly.
'Oh, heavens!' Toni exclaimed anxiously as she sank down on to thefoot of her bed and faced her friend. 'What am I going to do?'
'Ask him to identify himself in some way. He should be carrying his
identity documents with him anyway.'
'And what do you suppose he'll think of me?' Toni asked in a
shocked voice.
'He'll think you're a careful and sensible young woman.'
'I hope so,' Toni replied with a worried frown. 'I would hate to
offend him.'
Taking Fay's advice, she went downstairs and, placing her suitcaseon the floor beside her, she ventured no further than just inside the
doorway of the lounge.
'Mr Radloff ...' She hesitated, biting her lip nervously as he rose to
his feet and pocketed his pipe. 'Forgive me for asking this, but ... do
you have any identification papers on you?'
His heavy eyebrows rose sharply and she felt herself go hot with
embarrassment.
'Yes, I do,' he said at length, taking his identity book from the inner
pocket of his jacket and extending it towards her. The features in the
photograph were unmistakably his, and so also the name, Tarquin
Alexis Radloff. 'Satisfied?'
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'Well, not all at once, I suppose,' she acknowledged. 'Jobs like that
aren't so easy to find these days, but we hope to work our way up to
such a position one day.'
'When do you do your finals, Antoinette?'
'Next month,' she smiled at him. 'And my friends call me Toni: No
on? calls me Antoinette except..
'Except?' he prompted, glancing at her swiftly.
'My benefactor.' She turned slightly in her seat, her glance taking in
the broad forehead, the straight, high-bridged nose, and the squarechin. The mouth was firm, she noticed, except for the slightly
sensuous lower lip. 'I suppose Ross has told you about him?'
Tarquin hesitated briefly. 'Yes, he has, I think.'
'It's strange, really, that someone such as he should have taken an
interest in me,' she said as they turned on to the Ml and headedtowards Pretoria.
'What's so strange about it?'
'Well, he didn't know me at all. At least... I don't thinkhe knew me
before my parents died, and yet he selected to pay for my education,
and everything else I 'possess.'
A flicker of amusement crossed his face. 'Perhaps he's an eccentric
old man with money to burn.'
'Oh, I don't think that at all,' she contradicted, a little shocked at his
suggestion. 'He's wonderfully kind and understanding, and I think
that at times he's just as lonely as I am.'
'What makes you so certain of that?'
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'We write to each other, and, although he never mentions being
lonely, I occasionally get that impression. I wish sometimes that he
would allow me to telephone him,' she added thoughtfully.
'The telephone is not the best instrument for communication, Toni.
You often end up with nothing at all to say, and too embarrassed tosay the things that are of real importance. It's usually easier to write
about your problems, and to get matters into perspective by putting
it down on paper.'
Toni's expression was grave as she turned towards her companion.
'You're right, of course, Mr Radloff. My benefactor would have said
the same, and he always gives me such good advice.'
He glanced at her briefly, and she glimpsed a hint of amusement in
the depths of his eyes. 'Please call me Tarquin.'
'Thank you, I would like to,' she returned with a smile and a look of
wonder in her eyes. 'You know, Tarquin, I don't know why I'm
talking to you like this. I hardly know you, and yet...'
'You feel as though you've known me for some time,' he finished for
her in that warm, pleasantly deep voice of his.
'Yes,' she laughed with a touch of embarrassment. 'Does that sound
silly to you?'
'No, because I feel exactly the same way as you do.'
'Do you really?'
'Yes, I do.' He kept his eyes on the road, but his lips curved
humorously. 'Perhaps it's because you're such an unassuming child.'
A little shock went through her. 'You're the second person to say
that of me within less than two hours.'
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'Who was the first?'
'Fay,' she replied, quite relaxed now in his company. 'She said my
benefactor could thank his lucky stars that I was so unassuming, or
he might have found that he had a money-grabber on his hands who
was a perfect snob.'
Tarquin laughed for the first time, and it was a deep, throaty sound
that was infectious. 'There are people who consider wealth a very
important factor in their lives.'
Toni wrinkled her nose with distaste. 'Well, I don't, and I feel
terribly guilty about accepting so much from someone who reallyhas no obligation to me at all.'
Tarquin appeared shocked at that. 'Why should you feel guilty about
it?'
'I don't know. Perhaps it's because, when Ross first hauled me out of
that terrible orphanage, I was too young to understand what washappening, and took it all for granted. Then, when I was older, it
troubled me that I should take so much without giving anything in
return.' She gestured expressively with her hands. 'That's when I
managed to persuade Ross to allow me to correspond with my
benefactor.'
'Has it helped to alleviate your guilt?'
She was thoughtful for a moment. 'Not entirely, but I do think he
enjoys my letters as much as I enjoy his. At least, I hope he does.'
He touched her hand briefly, much as Ross would have done. 'I'm
certain he finds your letters very refreshing, and very rewarding.'
'It's very nice of you to say so, Tarquin,' she smiled up at him. 'Now,
we've talked enough about myself, so let's talk about you for a
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change. I think I heard Ross mention once that you're managing
director to one of the large engineering firms. Am I correct?'
'Yes, that's right.'
'Is it your own business?'
'It is now.'
'Are you married?'
'No, I'm a bachelor by choice.'
'Anyone special?' she asked, stealing a mischievous glance in his
direction.
'No.',
'Oh, come now, Tarquin,' she laughed merrily. 'Be a little more
forthcoming.'
'I'm thirty-eight, and a very dull, staid old bachelor.'
'You could never be dull and staid,' she announced firmly. 'I just
won't believe that.'
'You will believe it when you know me better,' he replied withtolerant amusement.
'Am I going to have the opportunity to get to know you better?' she
could not help asking on a slightly breathless note.
'I hope so,' he said, his cool glance meeting hers for a fraction of a
second. 'I've been a friend of Ross and Dulcie's for years, and I hopeyou and I will become friends as well.'
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'I hope so too, Tarquin,' she sighed, finding pleasure in the thought.
'Why have we never met before?'
'You were away at boarding school most of the time, remember?'
'But I've been living in Johannesburg almost two years now. Whydidn't you ever drop in and introduce yourself before?'
They were approaching Pretoria swiftly as he said: 'If I'd known that
you were such a charming young lady, then I wouldn't have
hesitated to make your acquaintance sooner.'
'You do say the nicest things, Tarquin,' she laughed softly. 'Thankyou.'
'How old are you, Toni?' he asked after a brief silence.
'I was twenty last monthwhy?'
'You must have plenty of boy-friends.'
'No, I haven't, and we are supposed to be discussing you,' she
protested. 'Have you forgotten?'
'My dear child, you're a far more interesting subject than I am.
There's absolutely nothing about an elderly man like myself that
could interest you.'
'You don't seem very elderly, and besides, I'm interested to know all
there is to know about you.'
'You're persistent, aren't you?' he said as they passed the university
buildings and finally turned off to the right. 'Very well. I have a flat
in the city where I spend most evenings working, reading, or just
listening to records. When I get the opportunity I do a bit of angling
over the week-ends because I find it relaxing.'
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Toni allowed her glance to dwell on the broad shoulders and the
strong hands resting on the steering wheel. 'You must do more than
that, because you have the appearance of someone who is extremely
fit.'
'I go for a regular work-out in the gym, but, other than that, nothingmore strenuous than relaxing beside the river-bank with a fishing-
rod in my hands.' His expression was somehow mocking. 'Anything
else?'
Slightly taken aback, she asked: 'Has my prying offended you?'
'Not in the least,' he replied candidly.
'I'm so glad,' she sighed, her eyes alight at the sight of the jacaranda
tree flowers paving the street in a carpet of mauve. 'You mentioned
listening to records. What kind of music do you enjoy most?'
'The heavy stuff, I'm afraid. Bach, Tchaikovsky, Beethoven.'
'But how wonderful, so do I!' she exclaimed with delight.
'In that case, you must allow me to take you to the Beethoven
Festival next week,' he offered.
Toni could think of nothing more delightful than going to a music
festival with someone who appreciated good music as much as shedid. 'That would be absolutely lovely, Tarquin, and I shall look
forward to it.'
It was dusk when Tarquin drove through the gates of 'Solitude', and
up the long drive to the large house that stood nestled among the
trees. Ross and Dulcie had heard the car, for the lights on the terracewere switched on suddenly, illuminating the carved pillars, and a
section of the garden that led to the tennis court and swimming pool.
The heavy oak door swung open, and Toni literally fell into their
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arms with a display of affection that was so characteristic of her
spontaneous, warm-hearted nature. Their suitcases were taken up to
their rooms, and Ross opened a bottle of wine before dinner, a habit
he had continued from the days of his youth which had been spent in
the wine-producing valleys of the Cape.
They had changed very little, Toni thought as she observed her
foster-parents during dinner with a warmth in her golden-brown
eyes that was clearly visible to their guest. .The ten years had
whitened Ross's hair to a silvery sheen, but hardly a wrinkle had
been added to his features, while Dulcie had acquired merely a
smattering of grey in her chestnut-coloured hair. Other than these
noticeable changes, they appeared the same to Toni as the day shehad walked into their home for the first time, a: bewildered,
unhappy child who had been instantly warmed by the tenderness
and compassion in Dulcie's green eyes, for that was the kind of
person her foster-mother was.
Ross excused himself after dinner, announcing that he had to make atelephone call, and, after a momentary hesitation, Toni followed him
into his study.
'I know I'm disturbing you, Ross, but may I speak to you for a few
minutes?' she asked, closing the door behind her.
'Of course, my dear. Come and sit down.'
Toni perched on the edge of the desk beside him; her favourite place
when she had something serious to discuss. She extracted a letter
from the pocket of her slacks and extended it towards him. 'Will you
post this for me, Ross?'
Ross turned the letter over in his hands thoughtfully. 'Toni, Isuppose you've realised that once you earn your own living you will
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'Oh, no,' she replied with honesty as she settled herself once more on
the edge of the desk. 'I found him such an easy person to talk to that
I enjoyed the trip immensely.'
'Tarquin is a solid, dependable chap,' Ross said, lighting a cigarette
and blowing the smoke towards the ceiling. 'To his friends he mightappear an amiable sort of fellow, but to his enemies he can be quite
ruthless. It was his father who first kindled my interest in law.'
'I didn't know that,' she remarked with genuine interest. 'Was
Tarquin's father a lawyer?'
'Yes, and a very good one too.'
Another, more pressing problem came to mind, and Toni frowned.
'Ross ... do you think my benefactor might object to continuing our
correspondence when when I've passed my exams?'
'He might,' Ross replied, laying a comforting hand on her arm when
he noticed her downcast expression. 'Don't take it to heart if he doesexpect you to discontinue your letters. You're twenty, a young
woman, and I dare say he would want you to become quite
independent of him.'
'I shall miss his letters.'
'And he will miss yours, but there may be other things in your life
that would give you just as much satisfaction.'
A humorous smile plucked at her lips. 'I suppose you mean a
husband and family.'
'That, too,' Ross admitted, adding with some humour, 'Eventually.'
Toni nodded slowly as she slid off the desk. 'I'll leave you to make
your call.'
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Ross did not detain her, and she made her way out on to the terrace.
The flickering lights of the Jacaranda City did not interest her on
this occasion as she pressed her forehead against the cool pillar and
closed her stinging eyelids. She was seldom depressed, but her
discussion with Ross had left her with the curious sensation that she
was heading for a deep gorge which was filled with an emptinessthat did not bear contemplation.
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CHAPTER TWO
'HAS something upset you, Toni?' a deep pleasant voice asked, and
she turned, leaning back against the pillar when she discovered
Tarquin standing directly in front of her.
'Noyes, but I can't burden you with my problems.'
'If we're going to be friends, then that's exactly what friends are for,'
Tarquin insisted, taking a firm grip on her arm and guiding her
down the steps towards the white garden bench just barely visible
amidst the shadowy shrubs. 'Let's sit here for a while. I'm longing
for a quiet smoke, and while I do, you can tell me what's troublingyou.'
Toni sat stiffly beside him, their shoulders almost touching while he
filled his pipe and lit it, but as the pleasant aroma of his tobacco
filled her nostrils, her reserve crumbled, and she heard herself say:
'Ross warned me that my benefactor may want to discontinue our
correspondence once I've passed my exams, and I'm afraid I can't
visualise the future without those letters.'
'Would the possibility upset you .so terribly?' Tarquin asked,
stretching his long legs out before him and settling himself more
comfortably.
'Yes, it would,' she choked out the words. 'Why, it would feel as
though I've lost a very dear and trusted friend.'
A profound silence settled between them; a silence filled with the
scented mixture of honeysuckle and tobacco as she stared dismally
out across the moonlit garden.
'Toni, you're on the threshold of your life,' Tarquin finally
interrupted the silence, shifting his position slightly to face her. 'In
the not too distant future you might meet someone whom you want
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to marry, and men are selfish creatures , at heart. Divided loyalties
could create jealousy, and corresponding with a man who ceased
being your benefactor once you were able to provide for yourself
would create jealousy and eventual misery in a marriage which
could have been happy.'
'But if I explained that he was more a friend than -'
'It's time you grew up, my dear child. You can't continue indefinitely
with such an unrealistic relationship.'
'But our letters aren't unrealistic at all,' she protested.
'Perhaps not,' he agreed calmly, 'but would you want to cling to your
Mr X for life, regardless of how it affected the one you really loved?
Would you eventually find more comfort in a cold, impersonal
letter, rather than the solid arms of the man of your choice?'
An unpleasant little tremor shook through her as she stared at the
man beside her, whose largeness seemed to be emphasised by themoonlit darkness.
'You make me sound like a lamb that has to be weaned,' she said at
length, her voice ending on a shaky laugh.
'And isn't it something like that?'
The irrational part of her denied this, but the sensible side of her had
to admit that there was a great deal of truth in what he had said, and
she found herself whispering reluctantly, 'Yes, I suppose so.'
'There's no supposition about it,' Tarquin said with a flat finality that
brought her sharply to her senses. 'It may soon be fact and, as youare now prepared for it, you may not find it so difficult to accept.'
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There was an awkward little silence before she heard Fay say
resignedly: 'All right, I accept the fact that you're being a little
cautious, Toni. You've never bothered much with boy-friends, not as
I have, so it's not surprising that I knew from the moment I first met
Jeff that there could never be anyone else for me. Perhaps it's just as
well if you shop around a bit before you finally make up your mind.Marriage is a lifetime of togetherness, and it would be unbearable if
you had to eventually discover that you'd made the wrong choice.'
The subject was not mentioned again, but Toni could not help
feeling a little disturbed at the knowledge that Gary felt so strongly
about her. It was not that she did not like him, for, with his dark hair
and equally dark eyes, he managed to draw plenty of attention tohimself from the opposite sex, and she was not blind to his
attractiveness either. But love! ... that was a serious matter,
something which had not entered into their relationship before,
neither was she sure that she wanted it to.
After the sweltering heat of the day, the air-conditioned interior of
the theatre was like a cool oasis to Toni as she sat beside Tarquin,
anxiously awaiting the start of the performance. It was the first time
she had ever attended anything of this nature, and there was an
unmistakable glow of excitement on her cheeks which appeared to
amuse Tarquin.
'You remind me very much of a little girl at her first party,' he
mocked in a lowered voice as he leaned towards her slightly, his
shoulder touching hers. 'I hope you won't be disappointed.'
'Oh, no! Never! I just know I shan't be disappointed,' she whispered
back adamantly.
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There was a sudden hush in the audience and Toni glanced swiftly
towards the stage in time to see the conductor stepping on to the
rostrum. He acknowledged the burst of applause with a brief bow
before turning towards the orchestra with his baton raised to signify
the start of the programme.
Toni held her breath, on the brink of an experience which she knew
she would never forget, and then, as the first dulcet tones of
Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony washed over her, she was
submerged in a woodland scene of leafy trees, rippling streams, and
tall grass swaying in the breeze.
'Did the evening live up to your expectations?' Tarquin asked somehours later when they sat facing each other across a small table in an
exclusive coffee-bar not far from the theatre.
'Oh, yes, Tarquin, and ... thank you,' she sighed, the mellowed
lighting lending a soft, dreamy look to her eyes.
Tarquin observed her closely for a moment, taking in the gentle
flush of excitement that still lingered in her cheeks, the small,
straight nose, and the generous mouth with the passionate curve to
the upper lip. She was aware of the intensity of his glance, but it did
not trouble her until she saw a frown settling between his heavy
brows and, shaking herself free of her dreamy state of bliss, she
asked:
'Is something troubling you, Tarquin?'
He shook his head briefly, dismissing her query. 'Are you going
home this week-end?'
'No.' She ran an idle finger along the rim of her cup. 'Fay and I havemade tentative arrangements to go to the ice-skating championships
on Saturday evening, and we're hoping to persuade Gary and Jeff to
take us.'
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'I gather that Gary and Jeff are your boy-friends?'
'Well, not exactly,' she laughed, avoiding the mockery of his grey
eyes. 'Gary is Fay's brother, and he's studying medicine at
university. I met him for the first time at the beginning of this year,
and we occasionally make up a foursome with Fay and herboyfriend Jeff. Jeff works for an electrical contractor in the city, and
Fay is pretty serious about him.'
'How serious-?'
'They've talked about marriage, I gather, but they don't intend to
rush into it until they're absolutely sure about each other.'
'A very sensible decision,' he observed dryly.
'Fay is a very sensible personmuch more sensible than I am.'
'Would you have rushed into a marriage if you'd been in her
position?'
'No-o, I don't think so,' Toni replied thoughtfully, 'but once I've
made up my mind about something, I'm inclined to be rather
impatient for the matter to be settled.'
There was a hint of a smile about his firm mouth. 'In other words,
you don't believe in lengthy engagements.'
'If you want to put it that way ... no.'
He held her glance for a moment until she lowered her eyes self-
consciously to the checkered tablecloth. They drank their coffee in
silence, the panelled walls, the murmur of voices, and the strong
aroma of coffee beans in the process of roasting lending a
continental atmosphere to the coffee-bar that remained open till a
late hour in order to accommodate the stream of theatre enthusiasts.
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'Yes ... once,' he nodded abruptly.
'What happened?'
'I'll tell you one day when you're older,' he ended the conversation
brusquely. 'I'm going to take you back to your respectable hostelnow, or I shall be to blame if you fall asleep in class tomorrow.'
His attitude was suddenly that of a stern parent, but Toni was too
pleasantly tired to care. His hand was warm and firm beneath her
elbow as they stepped out on to the almost deserted neon-lit
pavement, and walked the short distance to where he had parked the
Mercedes. The drive back to the College was accomplished in acomparatively short space of time, and Toni was almost reluctant to
accept that the evening had come to an end.
On the stoep, with the breeze moving the soft folds of her dress, and
the single light above the panelled door capturing the gold in her
hair, Tarquin stood looking down at her for a moment with an
unfathomable expression in his cool grey eyes before he touched her
cheek lightly with the back of his hand, much as one would caress a
child.
'Goodnight, Toni.'
'Goodnight, Tarquin,' she echoed softly, 'and thank you for the mostwonderful evening of my life.'
Afterwards, as she undressed in the darkened room so as not to
disturb Fay, she could somehow still feel the touch of his warm
fingers against her cheek. There was nothing complicated about
their relationship, she thought, a smile on her lips as she climbed
into bed. She could talk to Tarquin almost in the same way she hadwritten to her benefactor, knowing that he would understand, and
would give advice if he thought it necessary. With Gary she
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'Ross and Dulcie have known him for some years and, as he was
going to Pretoria to see Ross about something, he offered me a lift
home last week-end at Ross's request.'
'He did more than just take her there,' Fay intervened teasingly. 'He
stayed the week-end and drove her back on the Sunday.'
Toni was beginning to suspect that Fay had deliberately brought up
the subject with some hidden purpose in mind.
'So the great man does come out of his ivory castle occasionally,'
Jeff remarked, a touch of cynicism on his lean face.
'You make him sound like a recluse, Jeff,' Toni said sharply,
instantly on the defensive.
'Ask anyone you wish,' he shrugged, 'and they'll tell you he's seldom
seen in public, except when it's an absolute necessity.'
Toni saw Fay and Gary exchange curious glances, and for somereason there was a certain tightness in her voice as she said: 'Then I
suppose I should feel honoured that he offered to take me to the
Festival.'
'You can say thatagain,' Jeff replied, quite unperturbed as he lit a
cigarette.
Toni lapsed into a disturbed silence after that, finding it difficult to
recapture the happy mood she had been in earlier, and making no
effort eventually to join in the conversation.
Jeff drove them back to the College some time later, but as they
climbed out of the car Gary drew Toni away from the lighted stoepand into the shadows of the trees.
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'Let Fay and Jeff have a few moments alone,' he insisted as she
began to protest.
'But they will wonder -'
'Then let them,' he cut in briskly, gripping her shoulders. 'Toni, whatdoes this man Tarquin Radloff mean to you?'
'He's just an acquaintance, Gary. Nothing more,' she replied tritely.
'Are you sure?'
'Yes, of course I'm sure,' she said impatiently, tiring of the subject.
'That's all right, then,' Gary sighed, his breath fanning her forehead.
'What do you mean by that?' she asked, a certain uneasiness stirring
within her as she stared searchingly up at him through the darkness.
His grip on her shoulders tightened. 'You're my girl, Toni, andalthough I can't compete with a man like Tarquin Radloff, I aim to
make sure you're not snatched from under my nose.'
'But I'm not your girl,' she protested, struggling for release, but
finding her arms pinned firmly at her sides.
'Yes, you are,' Gary whispered hoarsely, and the next moment herlips were being crushed beneath his.
'Gary!' she gasped as he released her. 'Why did you do that?'
'I've been wanting to kiss you for a long time, and now I'm going to
kiss you again,' he announced arrogantly, and somehow Toni was
too stunned to try and prevent him.
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was grateful to have those few moments to herself as she selected a
gown of expensive white satin, with the most intricate lace work
across the bodice. She had worn it only once before, to Ross and
Dulcie's recent wedding anniversary celebration, and it would be
ideal on this occasion too.
She hung the dress against the outside of the wardrobe, and stood
back a little to admire it. Yes, she always looked her best in white,
and she undoubtedly wanted to look her best for Tarquin.
That evening, as she faced him across the candlelit table in a
secluded corner of the Green Lantern, Toni knew that her choice
had been correct, for Tarquin's appreciative glances had confirmedthis.
He was the most gracious host and, as he appeared to know so much
more about the complicated menu, she left the selection entirely up
to him. They sipped their wine as they waited, and talked, although
Toni realised afterwards that she had done most of the talking, and
he had merely listened with that slightly humorous expression on his
face.
'Tarquin, is it true that you seldom go out?' she finally asked,
recalling Jeff's disturbing remarks.
'Has someone been telling you things about me?'
'Enough to make me curious, perhaps,' she admitted, 'but don't evade
the question.'
'I seldom attend the many social functions I'm invited to, because I
rarely have the time,' he said, moving his shoulders slightly in the
expensively tailored dinner jacket. 'I enjoy my privacy, and I don'tintend to have people invading it in a way that could be detrimental
to my business.'
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She lapsed into an uncertain silence as they drove through the city
streets, her thoughts centred upon Tarquin's changing moods, and it
was only when he missed the turn-off to the College that she spoke
for the first time.
'You're going the wrong way.'
'No, I'm not,' he said smoothly. 'I have something at my flat that I
want to give to you.'
'Oh.'
He glanced at her suddenly and smiled. 'Relax, Toni. I have nodesigns on your virtue.'
'I never thought you had,' she gasped faintly, surprised to find her
hands clenched in her lap.
'Come now, child,' he teased. 'Admit that, perhaps only for a fleeting
moment, you imagined the worst.'
Toni coloured swiftly, looking everywhere but at him. 'Am I that
transparent?'
'It wasn't difficult to guess your thoughts when I could see you
shrinking up against the door as if you were contemplating a way of
escape,' he mocked her.
'I think you're a bit of a devil, Tarquin, and that you deliberately
wanted me to think the worst,' she scolded with a. hint of laughter in
her voice as she self-consciously moved away from the door.
'Perhaps it's your youth that brings out the devil in me.'
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She glanced at him then with a measure of surprise, taking in the
rugged features illuminated in the dashboard light. 'I don't know
whether I'm supposed to take that as a compliment or not.'
'It was intended as a compliment,' he assured her, and his deep voice
sounded mildly amused. 'You make me feel young again, Toni, andthat could be a little dangerous at my age.'
'Stop pretending you're ancient!' she reprimanded sharply.
'I don't have to pretend. My birth certificate is irrefutable proof of
the fact that I'm no longer as young as I would wish to be,' he
persisted, driving into the basement of a tall block of flats, andparking in the space that was allotted to him.
'Are you angling for crutches on your next birthday?' she asked with
mock severity and a touch of audacity, but to her surprise she saw
him throw back his head and laugh out loud.
She leaned back in her seat and watched him for a moment, unableto explain to herself the effect it had on her to see him like that, but
she didknow that it relieved the look of strain on his features.
'Toni, child, you're the most exquisite tonic,' he said at last when he
managed to control himself, and she found it difficult to suppress
the smile that hovered on her lips.
'I'm happy to be of service, Mr Radloff.'
Moments later she was being swept up in a lift to the tenth floor, and
along a short passage to his flat. He ushered her inside, flicking on
the lights as he did so, and she stood momentarily transfixed,
glancing about his spacious flat with genuine pleasure. Thefurnishings were modern but comfortable, and the colour scheme
ranging from soft beige to various shades of brown. A typically
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masculine choice, she thought, but it was infinitely pleasing on the
eye.
Several original paintings hung on the walls, and they consisted of
carefully selected landscapes which were unmistakably South
African. His expensive hi-fi equipment had been mounted onshelves against the one wall, with potted plants placed cleverly in
various places to camouflage the steel fittings, while at the same
time lending an almost outdoor atmosphere to the room.
'Tarquin, you have remarkable taste,' she complimented him,
walking further into the room and glancing about her appreciatively.
'I can't take the credit for it entirely,' he told her, gesturing vaguely.
'Most of the ideas had been put forward by the interior decorators,
and I merely selected the one which appealed to me.'
'The paintings were entirely your own choice, surely,' she remarked,
examining one of the larger prints more closely, and noting the
cleverly blended colours used on the mountains in the background.
'My choice entirely, yes,' he admitted, standing directly behind her.
'I've always favoured landscapes.'
This pleased her somehow, and turning to face him, she found she
had to crane her neck to meet his glance. 'Do you do muchentertaining?'
'Occasionally ... but never here. I usually arrange a dinner at a quiet
restaurant somewhere,' he replied matter-of-factly. 'I have someone
who comes in daily to clean up the place, but I usually rustle up my
own dinner in the evenings when I'm alone, or I have something at a
little place around the corner from here if I feel like dining out.'
Toni's eyes widened in surprise. 'Don't tell me you can add cookery
to your other talents?'
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'I wouldn't say I'm an expert on the subject, but I can prepare an
edible meal if I put my mind to it,' he smiled slightly without a trace
of embarrassment.
'That reminds mewould you care for some coffee?'
'Yes, please,' she nodded, shedding her wrap. 'If you'll let me make
it?'
'Do you still doubt my capabilities?' he mocked her.
'No.' She shook her head, and the sheen of her honey-gold hair was
trapped in the lights. 'It would make me happy to do something foryou.'
His cool glance appraised her with something close to astonishment
before he relented. 'The kitchen is through there,' he gestured
towards a door leading off to the left. 'Will you need me to show
you where everything is?'
'I'll let you know if I'm unable to find anything,' she agreed, taking
him quite brazenly by the shoulders and pushing him gently into a
large reclining chair. 'Sit down and put your feet up. I'm sure you're
dying for a smoke.'
His eyes were laughing up at her. 'How did you guess?'
'Easy,' she said, her glance sparkling with humour as she gestured
towards the beautifully carved stinkwood pipe stand on the marble-
topped table beside his chair. 'You haven't been able to take your
eyes off that pipe stand from the moment we arrived here.'
She could still hear him chuckling softly as she entered the smallkitchen with its white tiles and stainless steel cupboards. She filled
the kettle and switched it on, amazed now at her initial nervousness
in .accompanying him to his flat, and amused at the unflattering
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'Very well, I won't,' he agreed, rising to his feet in an agitated
fashion to lean against the stand that contained his hi-fi equipment,
and looking down at her through a haze of smoke. 'You can give me
your word, my dear, that if ever you need someone to talk to, or a
shoulder to cry on, that you'll come to me, or telephone me. Here, or
at the office, it doesn't matter. I shall be there if you need medayor night.'
Toni stared at him for a moment in stunned silence, puzzled by his
amazing offer, yet grasping at it almost blindly as she set the album
aside and went to him.
'Tarquin ... I don't know why you're being so kind to me, butthankyou. For the gift, and for what you've just said.' With a spontaneity
that was so true to her nature, she placed a hand on either side of his
face, his skin warm and rough beneath her touch as she drew his
head down to kiss him on the cheek. 'I have a feeling I shall soon be
needing you very much.'
Tarquin covered up his surprise swiftly. 'Then you'll do as I ask?'
She nodded, turning away to hide the tears which had come
unbidden to her eyes, but Tarquin, perceptive as usual, was not
fooled by her action, and he came up behind her to press a clean
white handkerchief into her hands.
'I'm behaving like an absolute idiot,' she said crossly into the fine
linen, trying to stem the flow of tears and failing.
His hands were unexpectedly gentle on her slender shoulders as he
turned her about to face him. 'Then why not make use of the
shoulder I've offered, and make a proper job of it?'
'Oh, Tarquin ...' Toni was not ordinarily one for weeping, but, for
some inexplicable reason, the tears flowed without restraint as she
buried her face against the comforting breadth of his chest, and
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'Don't take this too much to heart, my dear.' Did he think she would
take it laughingly? she wondered in distress, blinking her lashes
rapidly to clear her vision. 'All things must end somewhere, and we
must accept this with good grace. I shall miss your informative
letters, I admit, for they brought a sparkle to my normally dreary
existence, but I can't be selfish in this respect Trust my judgmentnow, as you've always trusted it in the past, and stay the sweet and
generous person you are.' It was signed, 'Your grateful Benefactor.'
Toni refolded the letter and slipped it into the envelope, but she was
hardly aware of what she was doing. He had been her anchor in life;
someone she had known she could depend on. But all at once there
was nothing, and she had the strangest feeling that she had beenabandoned like an unwanted child on the doorstep of someone's
house.
'Was it what you'd expected?' Fay's voice interrupted her turbulent
thoughts.
'Yes.'
'Care to talk about it?' her friend asked with concern.
'Not now, Fay,' she choked out the words, struggling for control and
the necessary composure to face the afternoon. 'Later, perhaps.'
Faced with the problem of sorting through their possessions, Fay
and Toni stared at each other rather helplessly that Saturday
morning.
'Much as I looked forward to the day that I would pack my thingsand say goodbye to this place for ever, just as much am I dreading
it,' Fay remarked whimsically, voicing Toni's thoughts exactly.
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'It's been hard work, mostly, but it's been fun,' Toni acknowledged,
dropping a neat pile of clothes into her suitcase and surveying the
remaining contents of her cupboard with a frown. 'I honestly don't
know where I'm going to find place for everything.'
'Stop worrying about it,' Fay laughed carelessly. 'We'll scrounge afew wooden boxes from the storeroom and shove the rest in there.'
Toni could not prevent herself from grinning as she imagined
Dulcie's shocked expression if she should arrive home with several
wooden boxes forming part of her luggage.
There was a sharp tap on their door. 'Toni, there's a visitor for you.'
'I'll be down in a minute,' Toni called back, frowning and muttering
to herself as she closed the lid of her suitcase with difficulty. 'I
wonder who it could be?'
'It wouldn't be Gary,' Fay said with certainty. 'He never gets up
before eleven on a Saturday morning.'
Toni did not waste much time over speculation, so it came as a
pleasant surprise to see the familiar tall figure emerge from one of
the chairs in the visitors' lounge as she entered.
'Tarquin!' His name on her lips was almost a sigh of relief as she
went forward and placed her hands in his. 'How good it is to see
you!'
His eyes mocked her gently as he said: 'When you say it in that
breathless little voice of yours, I can almost believe that you are
pleased to see me.'
'Oh, but I am,' she protested anxiously. 'I'm always pleased to see
you.'
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'I'm flattered,' he bowed slightly, releasing her hands as he did so. 'I
thought you might like to go for a drive. I take it you're not going
home immediately?'
'No,' she shook her head. 'There's still plenty to do, so we decided to
delay our departure until Tuesday.'
'Good,' he said abruptly. 'We could have lunch somewhere, and
come back later this afternoon.'
'Oh, Tarquin,' her eyes shone with pleasure as she met his
deceptively cool glance. 'That sounds absolutely wonderful!'
'I'll be waiting in the car for you.'
Toni mounted the stairs in breathless haste, to find herself
confronted by a curious Fay moments later.
'Who was it?' she demanded without preamble.
'Tarquin,' Toni informed her, changing swiftly into brown slacks
and a yellow sweater that suited her colouring to perfection. 'He's
taking me out for the day.'
'Where to?' Fay asked suspiciously, coming up behind Toni and
meeting her glance in the mirror while she brushed her hair and
applied fresh make-up.
'I have an idea he intends driving somewhere into the country.'
'Do you think that's wise?'
Toni laughed exasperatedly, dropping her brush on to the dressing-
table as she turned. 'Fay, I sometimes think I'm safer with Tarquin
than with Gary.'
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'What a thing to say!' Fay exclaimed, her expression registering
shocked surprise, and a hint of hurt.
'But it's true,' Toni explained gently. 'My friendship with Tarquin is
platonic and uncomplicated, but where Gary is concerned? ... well,
that's another matter.'
Considerably mollified, Fay asked: 'You mean that, with Gary,
there's the emotional angle to consider?'
'Yes, you could say that,' Toni smiled at her friend.
Fay's green eyes sparkled with mischief. 'Well, it makes me happyto know that there is at least an emotional, angle where my brother
is concerned.'
'Fay, you're impossible!' Toni laughed, her cheeks stained a delicate
pink as she hauled a large bag out of the cupboard and pushed a few
things into it which she might require. After a momentary hesitation,
she removed her benefactor's letter from the desk drawer anddropped it into her bag.
'What do I tell Gary if he should pitch up here in the hope of seeing
you?'
'Why, the truth, of course,' Toni said with a certain amount of
surprise as she zipped up her bag and prepared to leave.
'He won't like it,' Fay warned, fingering her dark ponytail
thoughtfully.
'Just do your best to explain,' Toni replied calmly, slipping the strap
of her bag over her shoulder and striding towards the door. 'See youlater this afternoon, Fay.'
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She heard Tarquin remove his jacket and from beneath her lashes
saw him fold it into an improvised Cushion for her. 'Lie down and
rest for a while.'
'I wouldn't dream of it,' she promptly rejected the idea.
'Stop arguing, and do as you're told, Toni.' A heavy hand gripped
her shoulder and pushed her down until her head rested on his
jacket. 'You have a few strenuous weeks behind you, and you need
these few hours to unravel your mind and to relax completely.'
'You're so kind and thoughtful, Tarquin,' she smiled up at him a little
uncertainly. 'I can't help wondering why at times.'
'Are you looking forward to your holiday at home?' he asked,
ignoring her remark.
'Yes, I am.' The smell of the wild grass and the sound of the river
was all around them as she sent him a glance that was
unintentionally pleading. 'Will you come out to Pretoria and see usover Christmas, or will you be away?'
'I have no plans as yet, so I might just take a drive in that direction
one day,' he replied in a not too promising tone of voice.
'If you do, be sure to bring your swimming gear. We practically live
beside the pool during the Christmas season.'
Her thoughts turned inevitably to the previous Christmas, and the
magnificent bouquet of proteas she had received from the man who
had so kindly set himself up as her benefactor. After stating so
categorically that he wished to discontinue their correspondence,
would he object to receiving a Christmas card from her? shewondered distractedly, and floundering like a fledgling leaving its
nest for the first time.
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CHAPTER FOUR
TONI had taken great care that morning with her makeup in an
attempt to hide the faint shadows beneath her eyes, but the
unhappiness in their golden-brown depths were clearly visible to
Tarquin's perceptive glance.
'What's the problem, Toni?'
She closed her eyes for a moment, knowing that she would burst
into tears if she were forced to discuss the subject at that moment.
She needed time to steel herself against the hurt, she thought as she
said evasively, 'Should there be a problem?'
'Credit me with some intelligence!'
Tarquin's impatience with her was her undoing, and the tears which
she had tried so desperately to suppress since receiving that dreadful
letter rose to her eyes and spilled over on to her cheeks as she sat up
quickly and turned her back on him.
'I'm sorry,' she whispered brokenly, groping in her bag for the
handkerchief and finding it quite ineffectual against the flood of
tears, for it was soaked within seconds.
'No, I'm the one who should apologise,' Tarquin corrected in a
gender tone, pressing a large handkerchief into her hands, and
drawing her back against him. 'It never ceases to amaze me that
women carry such flimsy bits of lace about with them. They're
useless in a situation such as this.'
Toni choked back a giggle as she dried her. eyes. 'Perhaps it's
because most women have the subconscious hope that there'll be agood, strong, dependable man about on such an occasion who would
gallantly offer his large handkerchief for the purpose of mopping up
our silly tears.'
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'I wonder ...'
'What do you wonder, child?' he prompted, reaching out to touch her
hair and letting it curl softly about his fingers.
'Do you suppose that, in some way, my letters were anembarrassment to him?'
'When the initial hurt has subsided, read that letter again, and you'll
discover that he's feeling just as unhappy about the situation, but
that he's doing what he Considers best for you.'
She raised her glance to his, noticing the strained look in his greyeyes. 'Do you honestly think so?'
'Yes, I do.'
His hand was warm and a little rough against her cheek now as she
swallowed at the restriction in her throat and came to terms with the
situation. 'Well, I suppose if that's the way he wants it, then Ishouldn't make a fuss about it.'
'Now you're being sensible,' he smiled briefly, releasing her and
leaning back against the tree with a tired look about his eyes. 'Tell
me about your exams.'
Toni lowered her chin to her knees, glad now that she had spoken ofher problem. 'Most of the papers were pretty stiff, but I think I've
passedunless they intend to fail me for dropping a supposedly
important file, and spilling the contents all over the floor.'
He glanced at her swiftly. 'How did that happen?'
'I'd just received that letter, and we were doing Speech and
Deportment after lunch,' she explained, no longer finding her
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thoughts so painful. 'I was more than a little shaky at the start of the
test, but afterwards everything went smoothly.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Why should you be sorry?' she asked in surprise.
'Because you can be such an emotional child at times.'
'And what makes you suspect that I'm emotional?'
Tarquin raised his eyebrows mockingly. 'Haven't you wept into my
handkerchief on two occasions to my knowledge?'
Toni lowered her glance swiftly, but her heightened colour
conveyed her discomfort. 'It's not very kind of you to remind me.'
'You'll discover, Toni, that I am never kind,' he assured her harshly,
but, recalling his gentleness on certain occasions, she found this
impossible to accept.
'I refuse to believe that you're a tyrant.'
'You haven't put me on a pedestal, have you?' he queried suddenly.
She smiled then. 'No, but I refuse to believe you could be anything
but kind and considerate.'
'You're certainly good for my ego, child.'
'I'm not a child,' she protested, taking a sudden dislike to that term of
address.
'No, you're a young lady,' he mocked her openly. 'Does that makeyou happier?'
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'What are you sketching?' he asked eventually, knocking his pipe
out against the tree.
'You,' she admitted, swiftly adding the finishing touches.
'May I see it?'
'If you promise not to laugh,' she agreed nervously.
Tearing out the page, she passed it to him and waited anxiously for
his opinion. He studied it for some time and she watched him
closely, a nervous little pulse throbbing in her throat.
'This is very good,' he said at last. 'Except that you've been kind
enough to make me look younger.'
'I wasn't being kind to you at all,' she replied, a little shocked at his
remark. 'You were relaxed, and it made you appear more youthful.'
There was derisive mockery in the eyes that met hers. 'You admitthen that I usually look my age?'
'I admit nothing of the sort,' she retorted crossly, 'and stop trying- to
give the impression that you're as old as Methuselah!'
A look of astonishment crowed his face. 'My dear child, when I was
twenty I considered everyone over the age of thirty as old, so whyshould I imagine you think differently?'
'You're being silly, Tarquin,' she rebuked him gently. 'Do you
always allow your age to trouble you in this way?'
'No,' he said, his glance taking in her slender curves. 'Perhaps it's
your youthfulness that emphasises my age in a way that's not always
acceptable to me.'
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'To me you're not old, Tarquin,' she said, a thought occurring to her
which was quite disturbing. 'But, if my presence instigates this
feeling, would you rather we don't see so much of each other?'
'That wouldn't solve the problem, my dear, it would only make it
worse,' he assured her, placing a finger beneath her chin and raisingher face to his so that she was forced to meet his cool glance. 'I
enjoy your company, Toni. You're not afraid to speak your mind,
and I like the way you occasionally order me about.'
'You mean, because you're way up there in your ivory tower, people
mostly tremble before you?'
'That's one way of putting it, I suppose,' he frowned, releasing her
and looking out across the river.
She reached up impulsively and kissed his cheek. 'I think you're
very nice, and very human. And I would like to prove how wrong
they all are about you.'
'Toni, I'm not necessarily the same at work as I am with you,' he said
with tolerant amusement. 'If you want to stay on top, you have to be
a little ruthless at times.'
'Are you trying to tell me that you're harsh and mean, and an
absolute ogre?'
'Something like that,' he admitted, now openly amused.
'Shame on you,' she teased, holding out her hand. 'May I have my
sketch back, please?'
'You may not,' he said firmly, rising to his feet. 'I intend to keep it.'s
'But it isn't a good sketch at all,' she protested as she saw him put it
away safely in the dashboard of the car.
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Refusing to have her convictions dampened by his mockery, she
said: 'I think you would make some lucky woman an exacting but
wonderful husband, and you'd be a splendid father, but I won't
embarrass you by rattling off a further list of your virtues.'
Tarquin was silent for a moment, apparently finding some difficultyin keeping his pipe alight, then, without looking at her, he said: 'If I
ever have the good, or bad, fortune to meet someone I want to
marry, then I shall send the lady to you for a reference.'
'Do that,' she laughed, but the thought was curiously disturbing, and
it lingered in her mind throughout the rest of the day despite her
efforts to shake off the uneasiness that came with the thought ofTarquin marrying someone who might object to their deepening
friendship.
Toni and Fay spent their last evening before the holidays with Jeff
and Gary, and, as always, Gary drew Toni into the shadows of the
trees when they returned to the hostel. His kisses stirred her
emotions, but she once again experienced that feeling of withdrawal
within her when he became too passionate.
'I shall see you during the holidays,' he said at last. 'Rustenburg isn't
so terribly far from Pretoria, but don't forget me in the meantime.'
'Don't be silly, Gary,' she laughed softly, trying to free herself from
his arms. 'I must go in. I still have plenty of packing to do.'
'Not yet, sweetheart,' he protested, his breath warm against her
cheek. 'One last kiss before you go ... hm? Am I asking too much?'
'No, I suppose not,' she relented, offering him her lips reluctantly,
but she regretted her action instantly. His kiss was possessive, and
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Except for a printed Christmas card from Tarquin, she saw nothing
of him at all over the Christmas holidays. She had telephoned him at
his flat one evening, but there had been no reply, and she did not
have the nerve to try again, hoping instead that he would contact her
when he had a free moment.
Her benefactor, too, had dealt her a severe blow that Christmas by
not replying to the Christmas card she had selected specially for
him, but it made her realise, only too clearly, that he had been
deadly serious about discontinuing their association.
With Christmas and the New Year celebrations behind her, Toni
idled away the time in their private pool, escaping in that way fromthe excessive January heat while she waited for the employment
agency in Johannesburg to contact her.
There was nothing rare about spending a Sunday alone at home with
Dulcie away playing tennis, and Ross on the golf course, but on this
occasion Toni felt somehow dejected as she settled down at the side
of the pool with a book and an umbrella for shade. She read for a
while, but found her mind wondering aimlessly, and, shrugging off
her towelling robe, she finally dived into the pool and swam across
it several times until she had worked off most of her excess energy.
She turned over on to her back, floating in a leisurely fashion and
wondering what to do with the rest of the morning, when someoneplunged into the pool behind her, sending a spray of water in all
directions. Arms flailing in an effort to face her unknown
companion, she turned just in time to see a tanned, muscular body
approach her swiftly beneath the water, but, before she had time to
cry out, strong hands gripped her slender waist and lifted her almost
clear out of the water.
'Tarquin!' she screamed, recognition bringing with it a flood of relief
as she clutched frantically at his powerful shoulders for support and
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'He can't afford to,' came the abrupt reply. 'He needs the money, and
I have it.'
'It sounds terribly ruthless to me,' she challenged.
Namibia is suffering the same economic crisis we are in thiscountry, and the small business man just doesn't stand a chance.
Peter realises this, and that's why he's selling out while he's still able
to regain most of the capital he put into the business.'
'What you actually intend doing, then, is to open up a branch in
Namibia?'
'Something like that,' he smiled slightly. 'Race you to the other side!'
His unexpected challenge caught her unawares, and she came a poor
second, but laughing and spluttering she admitted defeat. They
swam about lazily for some time after that before he hauled himself
out, instructing her to do the same. A flicker of admiration raced
through her at the sight of his muscular body in the dark bluebathing trunks, and Toni stared almost hypnotically at the way the
muscles in his arm rippled when he took her hand and lifted her
effortlessly out of the water.
'Have you found yourself a job yet?' he asked as they reclined in the
deck chairs with a long, cool drink she had collected from thekitchen.
'No,' she shook her head, watching a dragonfly hovering expectantly
above the water. 'My name is down at the agency in Johannesburg,
but I haven't heard from them yet.'
'Would you consider a temporary post as private secretary toGraham Todd for six months?'
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She glanced at him then, her eyes wide and questioning beneath
gently arched brows. 'Graham Todd, the lawyer?'
'Yes,' he said, draining his glass and placing it on the table beside
him.
'But surely he would want someone with experience?'
'He's not concerned with that at the moment,' Tarquin gestured
impatiently. 'He's looking for someone who's bright and intelligent
to take his secretary's place while she's away on a six-month visit
overseas.'
Suspicion stirred unreasonably within her. 'You haven't been pulling
a few strings on my behalf, have you?'
'No, I haven't,' he said abruptly as if the thought was distasteful. 'I
ran into Graham yesterday, and he happened to mention his
predicament. Jobs are difficult to get these days, and most firms
want someone with previous experience. Six months as Graham'sprivate secretary would give you an enviable reference with which
to find something else eventually.' His glance sharpened.
'Interested?'
'Very,' she admitted, excitement rising within her.
'Do you think you could be in Johannesburg on Tuesday morning?'
'There's nothing to stop me.'
'Good,' he nodded. 'I've made a provisional appointment for you to
see Graham at eleven, but I'll confirm it with him first thing
tomorrow morning.' He frowned at her. 'Do you know whereGraham's rooms are?'
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'Yes,' she said a little breathlessly at the speed with which things
were moving. 'In Braamfontein, quite close to the railway station.'
'Right,' he said, rising to his feet. 'I'll meet you at Enrico's in Troye
Street for lunch at twelve-thirty, then you can tell me how the
interview went.'
'Where are you going?' she demanded, sitting up abruptly as he
strode purposefully towards the sliding glass doors.
He turned then, indicating his bathing trunks. 'I can't drive back to
Johannesburg like this.'
The realisation that he intended leaving almost at once drove her to
action, and nimble-footed she ran towards him, gripping his arm
anxiously. 'But you're staying to lunch, aren't you? Dulcie always
prepares enough food to feed an army, so one extra wouldn't matter.'
The muscles in his arm tightened beneath her touch as he glanced
down at her with a look of irritation on his face. 'My dear child, Ihave a stack of work to get through before tomorrow and, much as I
would love to stay, I must get back.'
He removed her hand gently but firmly from his arm and stepped
inside, his broad back turned formidably towards her as he made his
way across the sun- room with its bright cane furniture and pottedplants.
'Why didn't you save yourself the trip by just telephoning? It would
have taken up less of your valuable time.'
An ominous silence followed her peevish remark as he turned
slowly to face her, and, leaning back against the glass door with theedge of the metal frame digging into her back, she realised her
blunder.
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'It will do,' she smiled, expelling her breath slowly and thankful that
the moment of danger had passed.
Tarquin strode swiftly from the room, but he left Toni feeling
inexplicably happy. He had missed her after all!
After a moment of indecision she hurried up to her room and
changed into shorts and a thin sweater, brushing her hair until it
shone, and applying a little make-up before she pushed her feet into
a pair of comfortable sandals.
To her surprise Tarquin awaited her in the hall, a careless finger
hooked in the dark grey jacket which was slung carelessly acrossone shoulder, and his hair, darkened by dampness, combed back
severely. He was admiring Dulcie's newest acquisition, a delicately
cut, narrow-necked glass vase, when he turned at the sound of Toni's
steps on the tiled floor.
His expression was inscrutable as his glance took in her long-limbed
youthfulness. 'I thought for a moment that you'd gone into
seclusion.'
'I have every intention of behaving like the perfect hostess by
walking you to your car,' she said in an attempt at haughtiness,
wrinkling her nose at him suddenly and laughing softly. 'Dulcie is
very concerned about what the neighbours think, and it wouldn't dofor me to be seen in the driveway, saying farewell to a man while I
was dressed in a towelling robe which would give the impression
that I'd just stepped out of bed.'
Unexpected laughter lurked in his eyes as they stepped outside, but,
before he could reply, Dulcie's green Fiat came up the drive and
crunched to a halt at the foot of the steps behind Tarquin'sMercedes.
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'Aren't you staying to lunch, Tarquin?' she asked, slamming the car
door, and looking remarkably young in her tennis dress as she came
up the steps towards them. 'Ross will be here any moment now.'
Tarquin shook his head. 'Some other time, Dulcie, but warn him that
I shall be coming through soon to challenge him to a game of golf.'
'That should perk him up tremendously, Tarquin. He's been
complaining lately that the competition is rather low these days,' she
explained laughingly, knowing that Ross always considered Tarquin
a strong challenger. 'Make it soon, though, and come for the week-
end.'
'I'll let you know as soon as I have a free week-end,' he promised,
and Dulcie excused herself, leaving them alone once more.
Toni walked silently beside him down to his car, wondering what
Ross and Dulcie would have to say about the prospect that she
might soon be leaving home again, but her attention returned swiftly
to the man beside her as he flung his jacket into the back of the car
and turned to face her, his eyes narrowed against the sun.
'Tuesday, twelve-thirty at Enrico's?'
'Yes,' she nodded. 'And Tarquin ... I missed you too,' she confessed
without embarrassment, standing on tiptoe to brush her lips againsthis cheek, but Tarquin turned his head a fraction, capturing her lips
unexpectedly with his own.
It had all happened so swiftly that he had climbed into his car and
was driving through the gates before she had time to register
surprise. She raised experimental fingers to her lips, not knowing
what she expected to find, but a wave of colour surged into hercheeks as she realised that it had been a brief but totally pleasing
experience.
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Graham Todd was younger than Toni had expected, for she judged
him to be in his early forties when she faced him across the large
desk in his ultra-modern office that Tuesday morning. He was
obviously a man who did not believe in wasting time, for he glancedbriefly at her reports and fired rapid questions at her.
Finally, peering at her over the fop of his dark-rimmed spectacles,
he asked: 'How soon can you start?'
'As s-soon as you like,' she stuttered, unable to believe that he
considered her suitable.
'Monday?'
'Yes.'
'Good.' He smiled then, transforming his appearance into something
less frightening. 'You have a week to pick up the general routinefrom Mrs MacDonald, but after that you'll be on your own.' He rose
to his feet, thrusting a hand towards her, and her fingers were once
again crushed in his firm grip. 'I shall expect you on Monday at
eight-thirty.'
.With almost an hour at her disposal before she had to meet Tarquin,
Toni found herself wandering through the streets in a dazed fashion,
killing time by doing a fair amount of window-shopping, yet not
taking in much of what she saw.
She arrived at Enrico's a little early, but at the mention of Tarquin's
name she was immediately ushered towards a secluded table in the
restaurant. The Italian manager explained in broken English thatSignor Radloff was a regular customer, and that it was their
privilege to offer him the best table in the restaurant.
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CHAPTER FIVE
'IT seems as though you're an honoured customer,' Toni remarked
teasingly as they sipped their wine.
Tarquin shrugged carelessly. 'I did Enrico a favour once shortly afterhe arrived in this country, and he's never forgotten.'
'And you insist that you're not kind,' she mocked him gently.
'There was no kindness involved in the favour,' he said abruptly,
changing the subject. 'When do you start work?'
'Monday.'
'Have you found yourself accommodation yet?'
'No,' she shook her head, her fingers lightly caressing the delicate
stem of the glass. 'I shall have to make a few enquiries this
afternoon.'
'That won't be necessary. I've tentatively booked a room for you at a
respectable residential hotel which is situated on the bus route to
Graham's offices. All you have to do is go along and confirm it.'
Toni stared at him for a moment with a slight feeling of irritation.
'Why do I have the distinct feeling that you're organising my life?'
His eyes narrowed, flicking over her censoriously. 'I'm not
organising your life, Toni. I'm merely trying to make it a little easier
for you.' , 'Why?'
His lips curved into a derisive smile. 'Perhaps it's because you still
have that helpless look of a child about you.'
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'I'm not a child,' she argued, disliking the term intensely. 'And I'm
quite capable of looking after myself, you know.'
'Are you?' he mocked, but before she could think of a suitable reply
their lunch was served, and her irritability disappeared miraculously
as she glanced at the decoratively prepared salads which succeededin awakening her appetite. Enrico had excelled himself, and
Tarquin, remarking upon this, caused Enrico to return to his kitchen,
wreathed in smiles.
Toni no longer had any desire to pick up the conversation where
they had left off, and she applied herself to her food, looking up for
the first time when Tarquin asked: 'Have you accepted the fact thatyour benefactor has stepped out of your life?'
Her glance clouded. 'I've accepted it in the way I've had to accept so
many things in my life.'
'Do I detect a note of bitterness?' he asked, his lips tightening
considerably.
'No, Tarquin,' she replied firmly. 'I've been very happy with Ross
and Dulcie, and I've enjoyed everything of the best, but there are
times when the desire to actually belong to someone is very strong.'
Embarrassment stained her cheeks. 'Does that sound silly to you?'
His hand found hers across the table and closed about it warmly.
'No, it doesn't. It's the most natural thing to want to belong to
someone, and to feel that they're a part of you, but you'll know that
feeling once you're married with children of your own.'
Was there a hint of loneliness in his voice, or was it merely her
imagination? 'Do you occasionally have the same desire to belong tosomeone?'
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The shutters snapped down over his eyes as he released her hand
abruptly and applied himself to his food. 'I belong to my work, and
it gives me all the satisfaction that I need.'
'I can't imagine there being any warmth in a relationship such as
that, or that it could be as fulfilling as being married to the rightwoman.'
'The right woman never came along, and now it's too late.'
'It's never too late, Tarquin,' she replied with a rush of warmth.
A flicker of amusement crossed his stern features. 'Do you think so?'
Toni glanced at him helplessly, but knew better than to pursue the
subject, for a bachelor such as Tarquin would not be easily
convinced.
*
Toni's first week in her new job was not as nerve- racking as she had
expected it to be. Mrs MacDonald, a charming woman in her late
forties, was considerate and encouraging, and almost apologetic
about the fact that she was flying to England to see her family for
the first time in fifteen years.
She patiently explained the office procedure to Toni, making her gothrough it step by step, but, with Mrs MacDonald's departure at the
end of that week, Toni still felt decidedly inadequate. She
discovered, however, that Graham Todd was an easy man to work
for despite his abruptness which made him a frightening opponent in
court, and she soon settled down in her new environment.
Soon afterwards Fay arrived in the city, fired with energy for her
new job. On Toni's recommendation, she moved in at the same
hotel, but it did not take them long to decide that a suitable flat was
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what they wanted, and that they would spend every free moment
hunting for it.
It was during the last week in January that Toni pushed her work
aside for a moment, making up her mind, at last, to telephone
Tarquin at his office. This was something she had usually managedto avoid in the past, but on this occasion she felt justified in doing
so, for to keep the wonderful news to herself a moment longer was
asking a little too much.
'Mr Radloff does not wish to be disturbed it the moment,' his
secretary informed Toni a few seconds later. 'May I have your name,
please?' Toni swallowed her disappointment and supplied her name,then, to her astonishment, the businesslike voice said: 'Just a
moment, Miss Schafer, I'll put you. through at once.'
The line went dead for a second or two before Tarquin's deep voice
said: 'Hello, Toni. What can I do for you?'
'Tarquin, I'm sorry,' she apologised at once. 'Your secretary said you
weren't to be disturbed.'
'I can spare you a few minutes.'
'I'll be quick, then,' she promised guiltily. 'Tarquin, I thought you'd
want to know that Fay and I have passed our exams. We got ourresults this morning.'
'Congratulations, my dear,' he said warmly. 'This calls for a
celebration. Do the two of you have escorts for this evening?'
'I think Fay has rounded up Jeff and Gary, but we haven't decided
yet what we're going to do.'
There was a brief pause before he said: 'Would you allow me to
make a few arrangements for you?'
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'What kind of arrangements, Tarquin?' she asked suspiciously.
'Would you object to having dinner somewhere at my expense?'
Part of her instantly rejected this idea, while the other warned her to
be careful. 'I... don't, know.'
'Leave it to me, Toni, and I'll ring you back as soon as I've arranged
it.'
'But, Tarquin -?'
The line went dead abruptly, and she sighed as she dropped thelifeless receiver on to its hook. She should have guessed that
Tarquin would think up something such as this, and a wave of
embarrassment swept over her at the thought that his offer might
stem from what he considered she had expected of him.
All manner of thoughts plagued her as she drew her typewriter
closer and continued with the letters Graham had dictated to her thatmorning, but she found herself making foolish errors and having to
re-type several pages. When the telephone rang a half hour later, she
lifted the receiver with a feeling of trepidation.
'Graham Todd's office.'
Tarquin wasted little time with preliminaries. 'Toni, I've booked atable for four at the Sheridan for seven o'clock this evening. For
dining and dancing they're the best, so I hope you enjoy yourselves,
and don't worry about the expense.'
'But, Tarquin, we couldn't'
'Of course you can,' he interrupted impatiently. 'Accept it as a
congratulatory gift from a friend.'
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'Will you be there?' she asked hopefully.
'No, I have a business engagement this evening.'
'Oh.' Disappointment mingled with her guilt. 'Tarquin, I feel terrible
about this. I didn't telephone you with the intention of getting anevening's free entertainment out of you.'
There was a chilling silence at the other end of the line. 'I never
thought that for one moment, my dear.'
'I'm glad,' she sighed with relief. 'I was beginning to feel awfully
guilty about it.'
'That was silly of you, wasn't it?' he mocked harshly.
'I know, but I couldn't help being a little afraid of what you might
think,' she confessed, her tension evaporating.
'You were just being over-sensitive, and now I must hurry, my dear.I have a meeting to attend, and I'm late as it is,' he said a little
tersely. 'Pass on my congratulations to Fay.'
'Thank you, I will,' Toni promised. 'And thank you also for making
this evening possible.'
Tarquin muttered something she could not make out, but the linewent dead before she could question him, and a few minutes later
she telephoned Fay to tell her about the arrangements Tarquin had
made.
The Sheridan was one of those places where only the wealthy could
afford to pay the high prices for the luxury of exquisitely prepared
food served by a perfectly trained staff. Chandeliers hung from a
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high ceiling to throw a subdued light across the plushly carpeted
interior, enhancing the beauty of the glittering silverware and finely
cut crystal glasses. The tables were situated in small alcoves which
afforded the customers a certain amount of privacy, and towards the
other end of the restaurant a larger alcove accommodated the
orchestra, leaving a large amount of floor space uncarpeted for thosewho wished to dance.
Toni glanced about h