Ann Zuraw Answers Your Questions

Financial planning is a lifelong process, designed to address your long-term needs. Our responsibility as your financial planner and partner is to:

Develop a thorough understanding of your present situation

Identify your financial and personal goals

Help you identify any obstacles to achieving your financial independence

Design a plan that will include recommendations and alternative solutions to help meet your goals

Assist in implementing the plan or coordinating with knowledgeable professionals

Periodic review of the plan to make sure your goals are being achieved

Let Ann Zuraw help you Contact: Ann Benjamin Zuraw, CFP®, CFA®,CDFA ™

Phone: 336.510.1329

Toll Free: 888.613.3310

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BEFORE you tell the world you are getting divorced who should you ask for help? Some suggestions: Lawyer – Interview before hiring Therapist – the emotional turmoil is going to happen – get help Financial planner/advisor- Let Ann Zuraw help you look at your entire financial picture. Your own personal close friends—the select few you can trust to keep your conversations

confidential until you are ready to go public with your final decision. Your parents – Keep in mind there is too much emotional baggage for them to look at the

situation impartially. Your kids – you must avoid putting them in the middle of your marriage problems. Until you

reach your final decision, they shouldn’t be part of this conversation. Friends you both have as a couple – Be careful

3 See Blog Post for more detail: B is for Before Ask AZ

How do you tell if Your ex is a Bad Apple? Are you treated with honesty, integrity of intent, fairness, respect or just the opposite?

A Bad Apple can spoil everything else in the bowl so it needs to be removed ASAP. If you feel that you are in a marriage with a Bad Apple, it is probably time to move on.

Chances are if you have reached the point of divorce, you were not treated well during the marriage—so you can’t expect ending to be any better. Having a Lawyer represent you is important but it is not going to change the behavioral traits of a Bad Apple.

How do you handle the Bad Apple?

Get a third party such as a mediator, financial planner or a therapist. It needs to be someone that will ―hear‖ you and can get through to your ex without consequences to your own well-being.

See Blog Post for more detail: How to handle the bad apple

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How do you deal with the Bad Apple?

Keep your distance.

Separate the financial aspects from the kids. Keep good financial records and hire somebody to be in the middle to interface with your ex.

Try corresponding by email which can eliminate meeting in person or speaking directly on the phone. But remember, emails can be misinterpreted so be very careful how you word things.

Most importantly…protect yourself. Bad Apples like power and control—even though you are in the process of divorce or are already divorced—remember that usually once a Bad Apple, always a Bad Apple.

As difficult as it will be, try to take the emotion out of the relationship.

See Blog Post for more detail: Dealing with an ex who is a bad apple 5

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Ask yourself how are you really functioning? Even though it may feel like you are in a Dark Tunnel…remember there that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Take a look at your work, personal life and health. Any changes needed?

Try not to let yourself get overwhelmed. Write things down…it will help. Prioritize what you need to accomplish so you can focus and determine the specific help you

need. Try doing only one thing at a time. Set aside one day a week to work on divorce matters. Call it your Divorce Work Day. Remember, the only deadline for your divorce is the one that YOU set. You can’t take care of everyone and everything else unless you take care of yourself. Remember

to breath and take care of YOU. Repeat to yourself…I can only CONTROL what I have control over.

See Blog Post for more detail: C is for CONTROL what you can.

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Immediately set goals for yourself. Take a deep breath and begin to decide what tasks you need to accomplish and what time frame is needed to achieve them. You will feel much more in control once you have a plan and begin checking things off of your list.

Again, take a deep breath and think about what is happening around you and what would make you feel better. Are your kids having a hard time in school? Are you so depressed that you are having a hard time functioning? Do you need to put the house on the market? If so, do you need to clear out all of the clutter?

See Blog Post for more detail: G is for setting GOALS

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My Mom always said to me: ―Where there is a will, there is a way.‖ My way

would be to try and operate on two levels. One level would be for those tasks that require your immediate attention as they rear their ugly heads up at you. The other level would be one that allows you to slowly work towards reaching your goals with well thought out actions not reactions.

To help you handle the different levels, think about your support system. This situation has probably gone beyond the capability of your normal support structure i.e. friends and family. Commit to a plan of action to get whatever help you need. But what you do need is to have a goal of what you want to achieve and then figure out what help you need to achieve it.

See Blog Post for more detail: G is for setting GOALS

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General questions that you should ask at your initial meeting: What is your hourly billing fee?

Do you charge a retainer ? If yes, what is the cost?

Can you estimate an average cost for me based on your experience with cases similar to mine?

How many divorce cases have you handled?

How many cases were you able to settle without going to trial?

How many of the divorce cases included child custody, support, sizeable financial settlements, property distributions, personal businesses and valuation, etc.

Do you actually have time to take on a new case and how long before it can be finalized?

Divorce is never easy, but being prepared will help you feel more in control of your future

9 See Blog Post for more detail: How to Interview a Divorce Lawyer

Ask AZ

Personal information about your divorce is exactly that…personal and should not be out there for the world to see. I hear all the time about how careful people think they are being with the information they post on their Facebook page. Even if you have set your privacy setting to Friends Only, there is a chance that somewhere along the line you have friended someone that you barely know or perhaps never even met. Do you really want to share this kind of information with them?

Stop and think about how many “friends” you have on Facebook and whether you believe they all have your best interest at heart? Do you have over 25, 100, 500, 1,000? Whatever your magic number is, are these really your true friends that you want to know the most intimate details of your life?

Your divorce is between you and your spouse. There is NO need to expose yourself, him or your family publicly with any of your reasons or disagreements behind the divorce. Anything that you write can be a source of information and possibly used against you during the divorce. Also, potential employers, credit companies and insurance companies can and do look at social media sites.

As difficult as it will be, try to take the emotion out of the relationship. Treat your ex you would a neighbor or somebody you are in business with.

See Blog Post for more detail: N is for NO posting personal information on social media 10

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AZ asks: What is Collaborative Practice?

The International Association of Collaborative Practitioners (IACP) describes Collaborative Practice as ―a new way for divorcing couples to work as a team with trained professionals to resolve disputes respectfully without going to court. Each client has the protection and guidance of his or her own (collaboratively trained) lawyer.‖

The core elements that distinguish the collaborative practice from the traditional litigation model are set out in a written contractual agreement which is signed by the participants. Those elements include agreement to:

1. Negotiate a mutually acceptable agreement without going to court.

2. Withdrawal of all involved professionals, including attorneys, if either party decides to go to Court.

3. Communicate openly and share information in good faith; with total transparency regarding information relevant to their case.

4. Take into account the interests and priorities of both parties in creating shared solutions.

See Blog Post for more Detail: What is Collaborative divorce?

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AZ asks: What are the advantages of a collaborative divorce? Collaborative practice is client centered, client controlled and focuses on the interests and concerns

of the individuals involved. Instead of allowing a judge to determine the outcome of a conflict, the parties make their own decisions. The collaborative approach enables couples to negotiate their own agreements, face to face in a supportive, safe and problem solving environment.

Another major benefit is this process enables couples to develop and maintain respectful and civil relationships. Litigation causes anger, distrust and hostility. Relationships rarely recover following a litigated case. This can be especially harmful when children are involved. Also, an additional benefit is that generally collaborative cases are far more cost effective.

AZ asks: Can one lawyer represent both of parties in a collaborative divorce? No. Each party needs to hire a collaboratively trained lawyer who is committed to assisting parties

to resolve their own cases with the advice and support of appropriate experts when needed. Ann Zuraw and Marily Cahoon are both member of the IACP, International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. Marilyn Cahoon is not affiliated with nor endorsed by LPL Financial. Ann Zuraw and LPL financial offer financial planning services for collaborative divorces. Securities and financial planning offered through LPL Financial, A registered Investment Advisor-Member FINRA/SIPC See Blog Post for more detail: What is Collaborative Divorce?

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Steps for Comprehensive Financial Planning and/or Investment Management

Are you interested in planning your financial future with Compass Financial Partners, LLC? For clients who are in need of Comprehensive Financial Planning or Investment Management services, we engage in the following process:

1. You can reach Ann Zuraw, CFP®,CFA®,CDFA ® at 336-510-1329 or email. We can have an initial half hour free consultation to discuss your financial needs and goals to see if we are a good fit for each other.

2. If we mutually decide that we can help you in your journey, we will set up a in-person or go-to meeting conference call to begin the financial planning process.

3. We ask you to fill out our Financial Questionnaires and gather needed documents. This information helps us get a sense of your complete financial picture and develop an effective plan for you.

4. We deliver a financial plan and investment policy statement that is tailored to your specific needs. We help you implement the recommended action steps and continue to work together to address your ongoing needs and changing circumstances.

Facebook: Ann Zuraw Blog: www.womenmoneyanddivorce.com

Twitter: @AZanswers Compass Financial Partners LLC: www.compassfp.com

Securities and Advisory services offered through LPL Financial. A registered investment advisor. Member FINRA & SIPC.

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Set goals

Make a plan – what tasks do you need to accomplish and what time frame do you need to achieve them

Giving up is not allowed – it is a bad option

Dealing with a Bad Apple

Hire a third party – someone who can get through to your spouse

Try to take the emotion out –this is a business deal

Interviewing a divorce lawyer

Create a list of important questions to ask

Fee structure

Do not post personal information

Be careful of how you use your social networking sites

It is your PERSONAL information

Consider Collaborative Divorce

Couples work with a team of trained professionals to resolve disputes respectfully without going to court

Client centered, controlled, and focuses on interests and concerns of the individuals involved

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