before after cutting words down to size the power of subtraction and concision this animation...
TRANSCRIPT
Before
After
Cutting Words Down to Size
The Power of Subtraction and ConcisionThis animation demonstrates how to perform surgery on weak sentences to make them active and more effective. Please place the presentation in SLIDE SHOW MODE. CLICK the slide to start the presentation. The rest of the show is fully automated.
In this animation is a demonstration of an effective
approach to writing prose that is convincing and concise.
A Perfectly Fine Sentence
That Could Be Better
. . . Let’s get it in shape
. . .
Step 3: Where does the action occur in the sentence? Step 4: Replace the static noun with an active verb.demonstrates
˄
Step Five: Eliminate need for “that is” by moving the noun to follow the two adjectives that modify it.
Step Six: Remove all words no longer required.
A Simple Cure: Remove Excess Words and Passive Verbs
Are they active or passive?
˄
Step 2: Eliminate passive verbs.
˄ ˅
˄
˄
˄
˄˅
Is it a verb or noun?
Step Seven: Pull it all together
˄
This animation demonstrates an effective
approach to writing convincing
and concise prose .
Step 1: Find the verbs.
Let’s Compare Sentences
Convincing, Concise, and Conclusive
In this animation is a demonstration of an effective approach to writing prose that is
convincing and concise.
This animation demonstrates an effective approach to writing
convincingand concise prose .
The Original Sentence
The Revised Sentencewith the passive verbs and unnecessary words removed
Compelling
And only 12 Words
ConvincingConclusive
A Sentence of 18 Words