Arts Senator (3 positions available)Ashley WardBeth O’Brien

Daniel MeisterNathaniel FellsMadison Davis

Social Science Senator (3 positions available)Nicholas SonierKaitlyn Goodwin

Erin LeGassieHolly Daggett

Science Senator (1 position available)Tyler Burts

Athletic LiaisonDaniel Proctor

Matthew Wheaton

On-Campus LiaisonJennifer HoytKatie Hamilton

BEACONThe

Vol. 2 Issue 6 Crandall University March 29 ,2012

Send articles to rkee669@crandalluniversity.ca

CRANDA

LL

Disclaimer: This is meant as satire. It is not my goal to offend anyone or seem arrogant.

On countless occasions I have heard people use the word “literally” wrong. In my household, growing up, that was like the chief Cardinal sin. I guess that is what happens when you grow up in a house with two parents who teach a living. Here are a few examples of things that I have actually heard over the years (I write them down because I find them hilarious):

• The room was literally filled with babies!• Jesus literally blew their minds!• The allies of World War Two were literally on the ropes!• The population of Jerusalem literally exploded!• Samson was literally a ticking time bomb!• He literally oozed Sincerity!• My door is literally always open!

For the record, the room was not actually filled with babies; Jesus did not actually blow their minds; the allies of World War Two were not on the ropes; the population of Jerusalem did not explode; Samson was not a ticking time bomb; he did not ooze sincerity; and their door was NOT always open. These are perfect exam-ples of how to use the word incorrectly. The word “literally” means actual, with definitive meaning, or “word for word.” After learning this, it is obvious to see where these people went wrong.

When you hear a phrase with the word “literally” in it, you should wait until the end of the phrase to see if they used it right, and you might be surprised. Most times, even some truly educated people use it wrong. But the problem is, they get away with it, thus spreading a lesson of unbridled ignorance. For the record, a room literally full of babies would be terrifying, messy, and incredibly impractical.

Another grammatical lesson you should learn is the difference between “your” and “you’re”, and if you are a twelve year old girl, maybe even “ur” (*shutters*). For the record, I do not suggest using the latter unless you want to look like an eight-year-old girl who can’t speak English, and immigrated to the country after spending five years in Antarctica (no offense to eight-year-old non english speaking girls who spent five years in Antarctica). But I digress.

“You’re”, in a proper sentence, means, “you are”, while “your” is possessive. So, to put it into an exam-ple: “You’re using that word incorrectly.” Vs “Your lack of understanding kind of astounds me.” It is a very real existence and truth about our generation.

On the Internet, it happens quite often, and every time I see it, all I can think about is how that person is going to be working in construction for the rest of their life. It is a fairly basic concept, but it is always over-looked when people post something on facebook or whatever you kids are using these days. Do yourself a favour when posting something on the Internet, do a spell check and a grammar check for things like that – they are really obvious, and they are easily changed. A comma splice, I can forgive, but when someone uses the wrong “your / you’re”, a little piece of me dies. Think about what you’re contributing; chances are it is your own unpopularity.

Little mistakes like this go far against you when a professor checks your paper. One of the most frustrat-ing things when getting a paper back is seeing a very basic grammatical error that you could have easily fixed or avoided. Those mistakes take you from the A+ that you originally had, to just an A…because obviously we all make awesome marks like that, right?

Next week we look at the proper use of “begs the question.” Get it right! Ciao.

Literally the Best Article You’ve Read all YearBY: Taylor Murray

Re

le

va

nt

I

nf

og

ra

ph

ic

s

Where Do We Go From Hereby Chris Zak

This seems to be the perennial question, especially at this time of year. Everyone is trying to figure out what they will do for the summer, some seeking what to do for the rest of their lives, and some just deciding where to take their families for vacation. Still, although it is a common question, it is far from trivial. Let me tell you a bit about my story. My family moved to Otterburne, Manitoba in January of 1995 so he could go to Providence College and Seminary to get his Masters in Biblical Counselling. We came to a town in the middle of nowhere; a small anglophone family moving to a small, predominantly French town where we knew nobody. We came with very little, but we knew that God had brought us there, but we knew it was only for a season. Two years later, in the summer of 1997, we were again stuck with this question. Where do we go from here? Dad had just graduated from Providence and the world was an open book. We had no debts, but we also had very few assets. As mom and dad began to assess the possibilities, they had looked at Alberta – a province that was prospering at the time. It seemed that there were scads of money to be made there, and lower tax than any other province in Canada – a veritable land flowing with milk and honey, as it were. And yet, in spite of that, we began to discover that God had other plans. There were several subtle signs, and several more overt ones, which all seemed to point us towards Nova Scotia. So, my parents took a trip to see if this is where God was leading us. Although dad had just completed his counselling degree, they realized that jobs in that field may be hard to come by at first, and thus they chose to look for opportunities to practice dentistry. (which dad had practiced for 18 years before we moved to Manitoba) They found a dentist who was wanting to sell off his practice in Truro and, after some serious prayer, took a leap of faith and made an offer which he accepted on the spot – not even attempting a counter offer. And so, we as a family set forth from

Otterburne Manitoba to Truro, Nova Scotia. As with the trip to Manitoba, we had no debts, but we also had no assets. We went purely on faith that God would guide us and provide for us, and there we have stayed for the past 14 years. I thank God that my parents were willing to trust God with our family's welfare and take a step of faith. Fast forward to 2009, and I find myself working at a print shop in a suburb of Truro. I repeatedly said that I didn't want to do that kind work for the rest of my life, but yet I wasn't doing anything to move beyond it. My girlfriend sat me down one day and told me that she had been growing frustrated with me – that I wasn't going anywhere, and I was taking her with me. I had a sense of God's calling on my life, and yet I was trying to play it safe, avoiding risks of any sort. We eventually broke up, but thankfully God helped us to save our initial friendship. While all this was going on, however, God used the entire situation to give me a divine kick in the rear. I knew what I was supposed to do, but I wasn't doing it. It was then that I finally got the message, and began to look into schools. After a few more months of work, research, and some particularly hard conversations with my parents, I arrived at Crandall. So why tell this story at all? Well, I guess it's partly my way of sorting through things in my own life. I'm just about to complete my degree here, and very soon I'll have my next “where do we go from here” moment. By the grace of God, I'm marrying the very girl that God used to kick me in the butt, and we're about to start a life together as a pre-made family. It is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. And I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. I want to learn to trust God as my parents did, and listen to Him early rather than requiring another divine kick in the butt. And my prayer for you all is that you will be able to listen, obey, and act accordingly as well. May God bless you all as you finish off this school year, and guide you in the year to come.

A true story entitled “Soccer on the Seas: Where there's a will, there's a way”

by Jean

BREAKING NEWSby

Daniel Meister

Crandall University has announced to-day that they have estimated the monetary value of Jesus’ life. His approximately 33 years on this planet were worth $2 892 718. This is a sum that is incomprehensible to stu-dents (except perhaps business majors), but one that is paltry in the face of global econom-ics. So how did they determine His value, and why is it so low?

Before you read on, I must confess that Crandall did not publically announce this to-day. But they have been quietly announcing it for a decade. The value they did not come up with; rather, I came to it myself. And despite of my mathematical shortcomings as history ma-jor, it was a figure that was easy enough to cal-culate. You see, at Crandall University, 30 minutes with Jesus is worth one chapel credit and one chapel credit is worth five dollars. Ex-tend that logic and you get the value above.

This is example is given in all humor, but I offer it to show the absurdity of the chapel-fines policy. In the last Beacon, Ian and Sharilyn asked for thoughts on chapel, and these are my thoughts. The mandatory nature of chapel a difficult topic to tackle as chapel is viewed as part of the essential Christian na-ture of the institution. This is why I find it so ironic that the method used to enforce it is so unchristian. The current chapel system is le-galistic, which is understandable due to its mandatory nature. But the method that is used to enforce attendance is fining. And fin-ing, in this context, is a practice that is despi-cable in the truest sense of the word: “deserv-ing to be despised : so worthless or obnoxious as to rouse moral indignation.”

Despite of the capitalist leanings of insti-tution’s policy, I do not believe any Crandall policy-maker believes that Christ can be re-duced to dollars. But why then does the chapel policy do this? Because regardless of how those who defend this policy try to explain or

justify it, the truth is that they have undenia-bly drawn a connection between Christ and cash, and this is in very bad taste: I think the imagery of Jesus overturning tables in the temple says enough about His feelings about mammon crossing the threshold of the temple.

Maybe that is a strong example, but I strongly feel that the university is conveying a poor image of Him and Christianity in general through the current chapel policy. By hitting students at their weakest point – finances – the university has created a situation that is con-troversial and has created much resentment among students. And it is time for this to change.

That being said, I think that it is ridicu-lous to ask the Crandall students their thoughts on chapel policy. Although I am glad that the CSA is open to the voices of the stu-dents, and is willing to engage in dialogue with them, it is already clear that the overwhelming majority of Crandall students, if not the entire student body, disagree with the current chapel policy. We do not need a poll to tell us this; this is not the kind of conversation that needs to be had.

The conversation that needs to happen is between the Association, the Administration, and the Faculty. And if they must consult the Board, then the conversation should continue its way on up the ladder. Because the thoughts about chapel are already known, and there are already good ideas about how to change chapel that exist in the minds of students and faculty. It is now time that these ideas be heard.

But there is clearly one change that should come first: fines as punishment for not attending chapel should be eliminated. I ap-plaud the CSA for bringing up such a hot-button topic, but I also look to them to bring about the change that has been promised for so long. This will involve engaging in the mean-ingful communication not only with the stu-dents, but with those administrators who have the power to end this despicable practice. It is a good direction that we are headed in, and I hope that the CSA will be able to go the dis-tance for the students who are counting on them to. Changing chapel policy? That’s fine by me.

This issue I want to take my normally cheerful and enthusiastic tone and throw it out the window. I want to take this chance to discuss some real and important issues in the world of art and entertainment. The tone of this article will be more somber, and I positively understand if you choose not to read this. I understand if, after reading, you decide that you hate this article. However, I am gathering up my courage to take a stand and speak out against what I have perceived to be the “dangers” centring the industries of art and entertainment. Why the sudden change? You may ask. On Tuesday night, one of my dearest friends and I went to see a movie. We had been waiting to see “The Hunger Games” for over a year, and we were absolutely excited to finally see it on the big screen. I had read the trilogy long ago, following along with Suzanne Collins as she wrote and published each book. I enjoyed the stories and her writing style, so you can imagine how ecstatic I was to see it adapted for cinema. The theatre was PACKED, yet the room was quiet. Truthfully, I was impressed. It was a good movie: creative, well-acted, and more artsy than I would have expected. Lionsgate was able to do the book justice (which seems to be a difficulty that few movies based on books accomplish). I have described “The Hunger Games” as similar to the game of Survivor, expect instead of voting people off they are killing each other, and all of the contestants are children. This is what made me reluctant to watch the movie. Reading words was one thing, but seeing it played out was another. Honestly, I almost started crying during the previews: Titanic is coming back to theatres and they showed the clip of the elderly couple laying in bed, intent on dying together, as the ship sinks. That was bad enough, how was I ever going to make it through this film? Perhaps it was the fact that I knew each brutal scene that would play out that made it easier to watch – or maybe it was that I knew that these characters were being played by actors or because I knew the story was a work of fiction. Whatever the reason, I made it through the entire two and a half hours with only a few escaped tears. The lights came up and I was able to deem it “a 'good' movie.” Does anyone else see the problem with this picture? Aside from the fact that I could have been doing homework instead or spending my time employed in expanding my mind, and that I may have fallen in love with Peeta Mellark/Joshua Hutcherson (again), I could not help but notice how many dry eyes were in the house and how many longing sighs there were from people wishing for a “star-crossed lover” of their own. I love the arts and entertainment as much as the next person. I love fantasy and make-believe and acting and musical scores and all that awesome stuff, but I can not help but notice how deeply our society has immersed itself into these things. We fall into the trap of becoming so saturated in a fantasy world, of romance and adventure, that we forget the reality we are living in. It becomes dull and boring and we forget the wonder and gift of each God-given day. We lose sight of the people right in front of us because the image of some dreamy hero haunts our imaginations (*cough*EdwardCullen*cough*). There is such a thing as becoming too absorbed – just ask poet John Keats, he understands what I am talking about. Yes, life is a beautiful and grand adventure, but it is not some Hollywood movie where all our mistakes work out in the end and we win all our hearts desire. Keep dreaming and reaching for the stars, but do not lose sight of the things that are right in front of you. However, this is not the chief danger which I want to explore in this article. Here's the thing: it is not the hunger for illusion that scares me, it's the fact that I can be so desensitized to it. Again, to be completely truthful, I loved “The Hunger Games” because I loved Katniss' bravery and strength and the love story between her and Peeta (he just loves her SO much!). Yet, I became so engulfed in this that I forgot the terrifying violence against children in the story. As the trilogy progresses the violence only escalates, and yet I continued reading. Yes, I was upset and my heart went out to these characters, but I was still able to tell myself it was a work of fiction. But is it really? I just watched a movie with violence against children: it was upsetting and evoked strong feelings of indignation and compassion. Yet, the movie has made over $155 million in its opening week. I allowed myself to forget the existing, breathing, alive children that are here on this earth for the sake of entertainment. There are beautiful girls and boys around the world being subjected to horrors and crimes, just hoping that someone will come to their rescue, and I can push all of that aside to sit in a darkened theatre. When did I allow myself to become so numb? Why am I not moving to do something about it, to change the world? Please don't misinterpret this article. I love movies, I really do, it's just that I think we need to be careful. Every time we watch or hear something we need to check our hearts. We cannot allow ourselves to become so disinterested and de-attached that we allow our society to devolve into Panem (the world of the Hunger Games). Yes, take time to relax and enjoy the arts. Let yourself have fun and be entertained. Enjoy the arts to live a little but be careful not to live to be entertained. I encourage you to therefore go out and experience the world for what it is. “Screw your courage to the sticking place” and set out with high hopes and ideals with a heart for social justice and a desire to change the world.

The Dangers of Art by Megan McNuttfine arts columnist

By now, many of you, whether it be students, faculty, or staff, are probably sensing that this is the “home stretch” for the semester. With the thought of coming vacations, graduations, summer possibilities, etc., also comes the reality of term papers, presentations, and exams. It can seem overwhelming, discouraging, and nearly impossible to have it all done on time and especially, done well. I confess that I felt somewhat this way before writing this article, tempted to not submit it and not knowing if I would have the time, energy, motivation, or inspiration to put together something worth reading. What came to mind is this: You must try to finish well. So after “fiddling” with a few ideas, I concluded to keep it simple and quote some scripture.:

“If you abide in My (Jesus') word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

“And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.” (Colossians 3:23-25)

“Blessed is the man who endures temptations (or trials); for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” (James 1:12)

“Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer... Be faithful until death, and I (Jesus) will give you the crown of life.” (Revelation 2:10)

“...This is a faithful saying: for if we died with Him (Christ), we shall also live with Him. If we endure, we shall also reign with Him. If we deny Him, He also will deny us. If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.” (2 Timothy 2:11-13)

The apostle Paul said, “Yet indeed I will count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord... that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is rom the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God in faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings... if by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead... I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.” (Philippians 3:8-12)

Now, two testimonies of those who finished well: Paul: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only, but also to all who have loved His appearing. (2 Timothy 4:7-8) Jesus: “After this, Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished, that scripture might be fulfilled, said, 'I thirst!'... and 'It is finished.'” (The father resurrecting Him gave a perfect mark, an amen... sitting Him at His right hand in Glory.)

* In this spiritual “school”, there is only one way to graduate to eternal life. John 14:6; 15:5 “for without Me you can do nothing.” He is the teacher; to know more about His curriculum, read His manual, the Bible, and obey!

Blessings Jean

Finish Strong

Students Butts exposed at Crandall.

Fred: Gross, look at all those cigarette butts.

Mabel: Yea, I know. You would think that they would have a smoking sec-tion somewhere, especially with this new building.

Fred: They used to have one behind the gym, but not any more.

Mabel: I wonder why they took it away?

Fred: Don’t know, but you would think they would replace it.

Mabel: Guess it doesn’t matter where we smoke.

Fred: It doesn’t to me, as long as I get outside one of the doors.

Mabel: A friend of mine says it is the same issue down at the dorm.

Fred: That doesn’t surprise me at all.

Mabel: I actually heard there was a student willing to donate one of those ‘butt out’ thingys to them for free

Fred: That is awesome.

Mabel: It is hard to understand things around here sometimes.

Fred: (with flick of hand)..Guess we will just have to keep exposing our butts!