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| 3 May 2015

Expat shock at coming home

ORA COLUMN (HTTP://WWW.BBC.COM/CAPITAL/COLUMNS/QUORA-COLUMN)

edit: Thinkstock)

anut butter, marmite, fish and chips, tea-bags, broerwurst… these are just some of of the many tiny things that homesick expats yearn for after they’re poste

erseas.

is nostalgia is to be expected when people move abroad. Much less expected, however, is the shock many expats experience when they return home and

alising it isn’t as they remembered it. Surprisingly, many find themselves struggling to fit in and make sense of surroundings that have changed since they we

ay.how do they adjust? We went to question-and-answer site Quora for some practical suggestions

.

for long term expats moving back to their home country

p://www.quora.com/What-advice-would-you-give-to-a-long-term-expat-about-the-struggle-to-re-establish-themselves-within-their-own-country)

recommended buying a place back home while you’re still living abroad and going there for vacations and holiday periods. “T

y, you develop your relationships within the community,” she wrote. “And when you go there to live permanently, it will feel more like home, where you belong

wen Sawchuk  (http://qr.ae/0N8Gp)

wchuk also suggested integrating by signing up for courses or “get a part- time job, volunteer — do what it takes to meet as many people as possible.”

on't immediately talk about all the places you've been, what you've done, etc. It overwhelms people… This will alienate people,” she wrote. “Keep it low-key, m

ke dating, dole out information very, very slowly.”

e warned expats may find it difficult to fit back in at the beginning. “It will be up to you to do the work of adapting,” Sawchuk wrote. Instead of going back to yo

metown, it may be wise to consider living somewhere that has a much more transient population, “where people are more accustomed to newbies,” she

ggested.

, who has lived in five different countries, offered this simple advice for those who are repatriating. “Have the same mind-set as if

re moving to a different country, and plan accordingly,” Hale wrote. Expats should expect culture shock, short periods of feeling isolated and difficulty

derstanding how the system works, she wrote.

ura Hale  (http://qr.ae/0Npzz)

n't come back with any expectations that your home will be as you left it, warned engineer, . “Things have changed, friends ha

oved on — your move back could be as difficult as your move abroad,” he wrote. “This is amplified by the notion that you will likely have that things will be theme.”

Don Merritt (http://qr.ae/0tqqD)

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Angela Henshall

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r those the transition ca

rticularly tough.

returning to the West from China  (http://www.quora.com/Whats-it-like-for-long-term-expats-to-leave-China-and-move-back-to-their-home-country)

wrote that, for him, returning to the US was a very difficult adjustment. “When I was living in China, if I encountered an uncomfor

irritating situation, I could at least frame it to myself as a cultural oddity, and find it interesting and quaint,” he wrote. “Back in America, I don't have that illusio

ymore.” He lists hand-sanitiser, conversations about new workout fads, fantasy sports, Super Bowls and real estate investing among his top conversational b

ars. These days Chen finds his home country stifling and overregulated — “where the heck can a person smoke a cigarette?!”

ott Chen (http://qr.ae/0GRIV)

metimes basic communication can be a struggle, as found. “A lot of common slang-words and phrases that entered the

ile I was gone — sailed straight over my head,” he wrote. “I didn't know that you had to pay cash when buying things on Craigslist. I reacted with childlike

mazement at common appliances like convection ovens and clothes dryers.”

Matt Schiavenza (http://qr.ae/0G17T)

ring his first year home in New York, Schiavenza began to miss China badly. “I sought out Chinese friends and participated in Chinese activities at Columbia

niversity) and even had a Chinese girlfriend. I grumbled at how expensive things were in New York and how it was difficult and time-consuming to eat healthy

eals,” he wrote.

the end what "broke the spell", was going back to Beijing for a summer. “A lot of what I had found charming about China seemed to disappear,” he wrote. “An

covered I was frustrated with things — slow internet, dodgy taxi drivers, food poisoning — that used to roll off my back.”who works in the tech industry, returned to California after just four months in China. At first he loved seeing the blue sky and driv

e orderly traffic. “Yet, it was like living in a ghost town. We felt isolated and bored. The food was boring. The shopping was boring. There were no people. No f

examine and no humanity to experience in every square inch of living space,” he wrote.

m Broiles (http://qr.ae/0teXO)

oiles said at work, the pace of progress felt like people were moving through “a pool of molasses”. He felt like he was coasting, “but relatively speaking I was

tremely productive and had one of my best years. This is in a Silicon Valley tech company, so not exactly known for being slow-paced. Perhaps that can give

rspective on the difference relative to China.”

uora respondents are required to use their true names under the site’s

 policy. To help ensur e legitimacy and quality, Quora asks som e individuals, such as doctors and lawyers, to confirm

pertise.

Real Names  (https://www.quora.com/Quora-Policies-and-Guidelines/Do-I-have-to-use-my-real-

Quora-What-is-Quoras-Real-Names-policy)

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