Baumeister & Tice Chapter 7

Novelty, Passion, and Intimacy

Novelty as Limited Resource

• Novelty associated with excitement, arousal– NEW things/partners interesting, fun– 1sts very exciting, 2nds less exciting, 3rds less…

• Habituation

• Limited number of novel sexual acts– Long-term relationships may lose novelty

• Sexual passion may fade over time• Passion enhanced by new partners (affairs),

behaviors

Evidence: Sex & Long-Term Relationships

• Negative relationship between years together & sexual f– Blumstein & Schwartz (1983)

• ~50% newlyweds had sex 3/week, ~20% married 10 years had sex that often

– Divorce & remarry -> rise in sexual f• Not just effect of aging

– Similar decline for cohabitating couples

Evidence

• Pornography (Mann et al., 1974)– No porn 20% had sex, w/ porn 66% had sex– Response decreased each time they

watched• Habituation• Period of avoidance can cause novelty rebound

• So how are novelty & passion connected?

Passion & Intimacy

• Intimacy - cognitive– Knowledge, favorable attitude, affection

• Passion - emotion & feelings of attraction

• How are they related?– Tend to be +rd in surveys– Passion low in long-term relationships (LTR)

• Intimacy high

– Remarriage increases passion (intimacy low)

Passion & Intimacy

• Change in intimacy -> change in passion– As I rises P rises

• P = C (dI/dt)– P = passion, I = intimacy, t = time, C

= constant• Implies: As I stabilizes P decreases

P = C (dI/dt)

P = C (dI/dt)

• Intimacy is a limited resource in LTR– I can only increase so much– After 20 years you know ALL there is

to know• So P inevitably goes down because I is

stable

Gender Differences: C

• Males have larger C than females– P = C (dI/dt)– Function (of I-> P) steeper for males

than females• Faster rate of passion rise/unit of

intimacy

Gender Differences: C

• Males have larger C than females– More rapid passion w/ less intimacy

• Communication problems– Friendliness misunderstood by men as

come on• C (small intimacy input, large passion output)

• Romantic nature of men– Men score higher on self-report– Fall in love & ready for sex faster– Unrequited love (rejected man most common)

Reaction Paper VII: Novelty in Long Term Relationships• Given the loss of novelty & the maximization

of intimacy in LTR, are we all doomed to experience passionless love in our LTR?

• If so what do you think about this? What other benefits might a LTR accrue for us? Are they worth it or should we have a lifelong string of brief, passion-filled affairs?

– Please turn in at end of class

Conclusion

• Passion fades as intimacy becomes stable– LTR inevitably show passion deficit

• C is larger for men than women– Men build passion faster w/ less

intimacy

• Relationship implications– Start slow and go far