EDITING YOUR POEM“Bad spellers of the world, untie!” – Graffito

PRINCIPLES OF EDITING

1. Show, don’t tell. Example:- The store was empty during summer.- The store’s people and goods evaporated with the summer heat.

PRINCIPLES OF EDITING

2. Trim it down. If you can’t tell someone why a particular word is in your poem, it shouldn’t be there. Like ants, poems can carry six times their weight.

PRINCIPLES OF EDITING

3. Be precise. Do the words in your poem say exactly what you want them to? Is there a better word for what you want to say? Do you think your heart is an ocean or a hermit crab?

PRINCIPLES OF EDITING

4. Clarity. ---- Does it make sense?

- Will your friend feel like you think she looks nicewhen you tell her she looks like the moon crashed into her head?

- Did the moose gargle really Sputnik your sense of inflation… past Pikachu’s tail hooked to the hopscotch parade ice cream cake allegory for our oil crisis?

PRINCIPLES OF EDITING

5. Development. Are the characters in your poem fully developed? Is the poem long enough to adequately explore the subject matter? (keep the Trim principle in mind also, don’t make it too long).

EDITING IN ACTION

Now that you’ve got the principles, how do you edit your poem?

READ IT OUT LOUD

When you read it out loud, are there awkward parts to say? Places where you run out of breath? Places you stumble over? Those sections for you will be that much more difficult for

your readers/audience. Remember, your audience gets one listen to connect with

your poem. These are places to look at as you edit.

SET IT ASIDE

Put it down for a couple days.

When you’re editing, pretend someone else wrote it. This will help you read more objectively.

LINE BREAKS

In general, line breaks go where beats go. (beat: intentional pause for effect)

There are two types of line breaks: Enjambed: where the line flows smoothly into the next with

little pause. Use when you are building momentum. End-stopped: where the reader takes a longer pause. Use

when you want to slow down or emphasize an idea or image. Example: Tony Hoagland – Romantic Moment

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSDh01zwed0

LINE BREAKS

Enjambed Line Break:I want to be strong even when I flee like elephantsshaking the ground

End-stopped Line Break It was the year of the butterfly. I waited for you to hatch. Your cocoon was so silent.

TONY HOAGLANDROMANTIC MOMENT

On your copy of “Romantic Moment”: Note enjambed and end-stopped line breaks. What is their

affect? Are the lines still cohesive, stand-alone thoughts? Circle any clichés that you see Write a response to these questions

How does his use of animal actions paint a picture for the reader? What are the affects of those images?

How does he keep the poem focused on their human relationship?

RHYME

Avoid awkward/forced rhymes

Also avoid predictable lines.

DON’T: “I found my cat / She was wearing a hat” – Steven Wilbur

DO: “Our present condition needs serious recognition Where there is no repentance can be no admissionAnd that sentence more serious then VietnamThe atom bomb and Sadam administer Farrakhan” – Lauryn Hill

AVOID CLICHES

Lines that people have heard before are not as apt to catch their ear. You are original. There is only one of you! Say things how only you can say them.

CUT PREPOSITIONS

“There is a house in the valley of the husband of my grandmother where the rain leaks often through the roof

over a rug.” Becomes

“My grandmother’s valley house leaks at the sight of rain.”

SOUND

Alliteration – repetition of sounds, usually toward the beginning of words. Assonance – vowel repetition

Example: After Andrea tap danced aptly Adam acted magnanimously.

Consonance – consonant repetition, usually the end of a word Example: Peter piper practiced percussion, trapped a

hoppin’ set o’ slap, put him on a map dipped in rap and puppies.

Sally sold sea shells by the sea shore

TITLE

Is it original?

Most importantly: Does it add meaning to your poem? The title is like a freebie poem within your poem. Even the connection between the title and the poem is a kind of poem! Take advantage of it!

USE YOUR VOICE

Shakespeare didn’t write your poem. Neither did Blake, Wordsworth, or Thoreau, or even your favorite poet. The poem should sound like you.

AT HOME

Edit one of your poems for fifteen minutes and bring your work to class on Thursday.