Backside Baptist Child REAR-ingBy Patricia Backora

I doubt those tiny tots weighed forty pounds apiece soaking wet! That polished board was thick and rounded, crafted of heavy hardwood. The husband of the household, who had a crabby face, must have made it himself, I thought. It looked more like Fred Flintstone’s club than a civilized tool to train toddlers to love Jesus. Wielded with sufficient force, it could have crippled a 300-pound man. Maybe I was being a little nosy, but while nobody was looking I picked up the massive “rod of correction” and tried it out on myself with one very gentle swaying motion. It registered. My conclusion: These very nice-looking people wanted to make sure they got the maximum pain out of each whack! I truly felt sorry for their poor little kids.

I picked it up and showed it to the children’s mother. I asked her, with a look of disbelief, “Is this what you use to spank your children with?”

She sounded as matter-of-fact as if I’d asked about her choice of curtains. “Well, it gets the job done.”

WHAT job? Causing severe injury and/or lasting psychological and spiritual damage to your own child? What if a husband hit his wife with something like that? Why, she’d press charges for assault! I realized that even the weakest woman could cripple a toddler with that thing. I recalled the flatter wooden paddles used at one country school. They were bad enough, but this one was MONSTROUS!

If you struck an adult with something half that size it would be criminal assault! So why is it okay for parents to use their own judgment in what implement to use (belt, paddle, yard stick, etc.)?Even wild animals are protected by law from cruel and inhumane punishment. What guidelines should people observe when they judge how much force is reasonable when hitting a child with their chosen implement of punishment? How many times are they allowed to pummel the same place on a child’s body, compounding the pain and possible injury? Should the corporal punishment be confined to the buttocks, or should the legs be struck instead, or possibly even the back or shoulders? What about a bony kid who has less padding? Should a chastiser run the risk of breaking a frail child’s bones? Not all kids’ bodies can survive rough treatment.

Where do you draw the line in deciding which types of offenses merit corporal punishment? Where do you draw the line in determining what constitutes excessive force in using the paddle? Not all parents are created equal. Some are much bigger and stronger than others. Some parents are quick-tempered, others mild-mannered. Should a huge, muscular parent, a body builder or martial arts expert be banned from physically punishing a child? Even if corporal punishment isn’t illegal, should special laws be passed to protect children under a certain age or weight being struck by an adult several times their size?

I watched this MASSIVE TV preacher holler about cute little babies being vipers (deadly snakes) who need to get the devil beaten out of ‘em. Makes me wonder what kind of child REAR-ing this man experienced. That man must have weighed at least 450, if not more. If he hits are hard as he hollers (his sermons can break your eardrums!) he could DEMOLISH a baby’s butt. I fear for all the blind, obedient SHEEPLE who took his advice and whipped a helpless infant for screaming in the wrong key!

Then there’s the risk of uncontrolled parental anger increasing risk of serious injury to the child. Some parents might get in such an ugly mood from others picking on THEM at work that when they see a bad report card they take out their frustrations on the youngster, forgetting how fragile human flesh (and life) is. Parents yell about THEIR rights to discipline any way they see fit. But what about the rights of the child not to suffer physical and emotional damage?

I just had to wonder about any parent who would use a club to paddle tiny children. What kind of a “Christian” father could either make or buy such an instrument of cruelty to hurt his own flesh and blood with? This particular man had spent time on the mission field converting others to that same gentle Savior Who never once taught severe treatment of children in any of the four Gospels! In fact, the ONLY mentions of harsh treatment of children in these books were

negative ones, not commandments! King Herod murdered the babies in Bethlehem (Matt.2:16). Jesus was displeased when His disciples rebuked children for coming to receive His blessing (Matt.19:13). Jesus warned that evil parents would betray their own children to death during the Tribulation Period (Matt.10:21). He also warned that anyone who caused little children to lose faith in Him would suffer God’s judgment (Matt.18:6). By misrepresenting Father God as a fierce ogre Who mercilessly punishes children before He is willing (or able) to forgive them, strap-happy Christian fathers (or mothers) can drive these poor kids to forsake Christianity in disgust and horror and turn to alternative belief systems once they are grown enough to leave home.

That “paddle” was such a crude-looking club I’m sure it wasn’t bought at your local K-Mart. Does such a parent have a clue about the grace and mercy God expects us to display toward weaker people who don’t know any better (Rom.15:1; Heb.5:2)? Yes, CHILDREN ARE PEOPLE TOO! Does a “strict” Christian parent expect his own Heavenly Father to go any easier on him when he slips up? Some people can dish it out but they can’t take it. When they fear their Heavenly Father might be getting out His belt, adult Christians will desperately plead for mercy and patience for THEMSELVES. Mercy they deny the tiniest, most vulnerable members of their own family, who weigh a fraction of what they do.

Gen.49:5: Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty (brutality) are in their habitations.

At what point do you cross the thin line between “reasonable chastisement” and injuring a child with “an instrument of cruelty?”

I designed a fictional book cover to show how disgusting doctrine is perfumed (and sold) with soft colors and flowers. In the following example, both spanking and being spanked are regarded as hallowed devotions unto God. “Deeper Life” theology permeates many “Christian Child REAR-ing” books. Suffering is sacred business. I’m reminded of a TV program where some big guy gets cheered as a hero for eating mountains of junk food till he’s sick enough to throw up. Those people aren’t cheering the guy for enjoying himself, but for torturing his own stomach. Self-imposed suffering (e.g. fasting or sleep deprivation as a “spiritual discipline”) makes other Christians admire you, and don’t forget to teach your kids that your holey paddle steers their boat to heaven.

Spankianity Vs. the Grace of God

One popular manual for raising Christian families, published back in the 1970’s, takes child REAR-ing to extremes. “Brother Bat”, the author, seemed to be into rigid legalism. He confused a father’s authority with being a control freak who monitored the inner lives of his children. It wasn’t just a case of forbidding his children to commit actual sins. It was all about regimented control of their suspected thought processes and their daily schedules. Every child was expected to rise and shine at the crack of dawn every day. Brother Bat expected ALL people to be cheerful early risers (what about people working night shifts)? Rumor has it this man even believes wife beating is justified under certain conditions. Would Brother Bat wallop his wife if she felt like getting extra beauty sleep at six a.m.?

Brother Bat sounds like a pretty grim dad to have. Poor kids. At least daily life at his house was a bit more bearable on Saturdays, the only day his children could read their comic books. If that’s not a law (legalistic behavior) nothing is.

Insofar as instilling holiness into a child, Brother Bat seems to put the paddle on a par with the Cross of Christ. Brother Bat advises parents to continue a hard spanking until the kid’s crying signals repentance, not just pain, fear, anger, etc. The philosophy behind this brutality is to beat the child until his or her will is broken. That’s worse torture than water-boarding someone at Gitmo to force a confession, isn’t it? One book illustration was a semi-circular REPENTANCE METER (should have been called a SPANKOMETER) where you used your imagination (which is SUBJECTIVE, and varies from parent to parent!) to move an arrow in the middle left or right to determine what type of crying your child was doing while you were carrying out the spanking sentence. The first point was “pain”. Somewhere in the middle were other negative indicators such as anger, fear, etc. The final point, to the far right of the SPANKOMETER, was “repentance”, indicated by submissive sobs and a sorrowful face. At that point the spanking could stop and the child could be asked if they were sorry and wanted to reconcile with the parent and pray a prayer for forgiveness. Evidently a repentant child doesn’t qualify to receive absolution from his Heavenly Father until AFTER his earthly father whales the daylights outa him.

Brother Bat insisted a few swats just wouldn’t do. A SPANKING IS AN EVENT, he insisted. Well, Brother Bat, so was a hanging in the Old West. The whole community came out to watch that event. Brother Bat turns it into a tear-jerking religious ritual as he tans his kid’s hide, then acts as the child’s priest, taking him into the Presence of Almighty God to receive forgiveness for his sin. Talk about an egotistical head trip, at least there’s a bit of glory in it for Brother Bat.

Men have always tried to usurp some of Jesus’ glory. Brother Bat contends that the Christian father-priest’s true motive for pounding his kid’s rump steak is to make it possible for his child to reconcile with the God of heaven. I thought Jesus Christ was the ONLY intermediary between God and man, where dealing with sin is concerned (I Tim.2:5)! Once Jesus applies His precious blood to a believer’s sin, it’s GONE! I know that if a murderer gets saved before his execution date he’s still got to die to satisfy secular justice, even if his sin has been washed away. Many Christian parents insist the beating must still be administered whether the child repents or not.

Even the case of the repentant murderer, capital punishment is an act of vengeance, not a corrective measure. Similarly, many parents inflict a spanking as REVENGE to soothe their annoyance or

embarrassment from the child acting like he’s alive in church. I’ve seen parents “train” their toddler with a stick for whimpering from tiredness during a solemn, quiet moment in the church service when everyone is supposed to “concentrate on Jesus.” Do those dopes seriously think a little noise scares Jesus away? He worked in a carpenter’s shop, for Pete’s sake! Some of those power-crazed “priests” need to remember that they also have a Father in heaven (Col.4:1) Who keeps a careful record of how much mercy a parent shows. That’s the same measure of mercy that parent will receive back from God, no more and no less!

Brother Bat gave the impression he’s deep into Christian mysticism, that boo-hoo baloney which holds that from the time of birth people need plenty of tears and suffering in their lives to “crucify” their fallen human nature (I thought the Word of God and the Blood of Jesus sanctified people, not beatings). Brother Bat believed he had the power to peep deep into his child’s heart, and if Brother Bat thought the child’s heart wasn’t properly broken with repentance, he’d keep on beating his kid’s butt till his heart got sanctified. I thought GOD ALONE knows what’s inside a human being’s heart (I Kings 8:39; 2 Chron.6:30; Acts 1:24). I thought the heart of a Christian believer (even a child) was GOD’S domain (Eph.3:17). Why doesn’t Brother Bat respect God’s privacy and let God alone do His sanctifying work in that heart?

Brother Bat glorified spanking as being THE means of sanctifying an unruly child and making that kid worthy enough to ask God’s forgiveness (the child wasn’t supposed to pray for forgiveness till he got his backside blistered). I guess even the most hard-hearted chastiser would find it hard to wallop a repentant rascal whose heart has just been spring-cleaned by the Lord. Let the paddle do its work before God washes away the kid’s guilt for spilling the milk and ruining the new carpet!

What joy it would bring to the parent’s heart if, after working their child over, that little one wanted to repent and ask God’s forgiveness. But what do they expect? That poor kid would do or say anything to save what’s left of his battered butt. Either the child changes its tune or that already bruised caboose gets beaten to a pulp with further licks from the “rod of correction”. Of course that kid will mouth the right words. He’ll even hug his dad after the beating, even if he’d rather tune him out till the dust settles. What sane individual wants to end up in the hospital emergency room with broken hip bones and massive internal bleeding from crushed muscles and broken blood vessels? How can any Christian parent beat the love of Jesus into a tiny, defenseless child? After that destructive book made its rounds in Christian circles back in the 70’s (and Brother Bat got rich and famous off it) some survivors of its harsh teachings may have been left with a severely damaged

concept of the fatherhood of God. The very term “father” would carry the connotation of brutality and terror, a big brute to be fled from instead of loved and trusted.

Problems With Proverbs

Brother Bat used a few verses in Proverbs to justify his extreme spanking doctrine. But why doesn’t Brother Bat enforce OTHER Proverbs in his home on an equal basis? Because he himself would end up in traction, that’s why. How ‘bout Prov.26:3 which prescribes a a ROD FOR THE FOOL’S BACK? I’m sure Brother Bat, like most everybody else, does or says something really stupid every now and then and gets egg all over his face. So next time Brother Bat makes a jackass of himself in public, let him put on a horse’s bridle, then go get a fishing pole and whale the daylights out of his own back and see how he likes it!

Next time Brother Bat does something foolish he gets sentenced to one hundred stripes (Prov.17:10). Quit picking on kids. There’s no fool like an old fool!

Better yet, here’s something you could install on the speakers’ platform of your church. Have someone build an old-fashioned STOCKS, you know, that contraption that struck fear into the hearts of New England townspeople back in the 1600’s. The authorities would chastise some poor guy for misconduct by forcing him to sit on a bench with his hands and feet poking through holes in a wide wooden board, unable to move. Next time Christians catch their pastor staring at shapely legs that don’t belong to his wife, he gets STOCKED a la Proverbs 7:22.

Solomon contradicts his own advice in Proverbs 27:22. He states that even if you grind up a fool with a mortar and a pestle, you can’t beat the foolishness out of him! For Pete’s sake! If a good ol’ grindstone won’t do the trick, surely a fly swatter won’t do any better! First Solomon preaches the power of THE ROD to drive the foolishness away from a child (Prov.22:15; 23:13-14) and save his soul from hell, then he admits that foolishness CAN’T be driven out even with a mortar and pestle! C’mon now! This ain’t Burger King! You can’t have it both ways.

I thought you had to be consistent in keeping Scriptural admonitions. Why don’t Christians enforce other equally valid Proverbs the same as the spanking Proverbs? Why don’t Christians confine a philandering pastor in stocks so he’ll get laughed at by the congregation? Next time the deacon tells a dirty joke, why don’t they pound him with a mortar and pestle? If the pastor marries the wrong kind of woman, why don’t Christians curse that pastor, beat

him and tear out his hair like Nehemiah did to some guys whose marriages he disapproved of (Neh. 13:25)?

Because anybody who acted that way toward another adult might get arrested for assault. Paul forbids Christians to curse (Rom.12:14). He forbids them to strive with each other and commands gentleness in interpersonal relationships (2 Tim.2:14). And as for commanding others to “swear by God”, Nehemiah was obeying the Old Testament command to swear (Deut.6:13;Jer.4:2). But Jesus said, “swear not at all” (Matt.5:34).

Jesus had a habit of challenging old ways of thinking. For example, He didn’t tell His disciples to work themselves to death to accumulate earthly wealth. Christ seems to have held a dim view of the pursuit of riches (Mark 10:23). He even said it was hard for those who possessed earthly wealth to enter God’s Kingdom. But what did Solomon say, just two verses before he warns you that if you don’t beat your son you don’t love him?

Prov.13:22: A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.

Fascinating. Solomon encourages people to accumulate enough loot not just to provide for their own immediate needs, but to leave a tidy nest egg for their grandkids. Despite the fact he wrote other verses which teach it is vain to set your heart on riches.

Prov.23:5 Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven.****Solomon, who enjoyed all the fine things money could buy in his day, teaches that wealth is as insubstantial as cotton candy. How does Solomon expect wealth to hang around till a good man’s grandkids grow up to inherit it, if that wealth sprouts wings and flies away before that happens?

Prov.27:24: For riches are not for ever: and doth the crown endure to every generation?

Come on, now! Didn’t Solomon just teach you to squirrel away a fortune for your grandkids, as if your wealth could be passed down from generation to generation? Couldn’t he foresee that rotten banker on Wall Street would gamble all your life’s savings away before your grandkids could go buy a candy bar with it in the year 2030, after runaway inflation eats away most of the value of this precious inheritance you would have left them?

You read it yourself. Solomon plainly states that a GOOD man leaves an inheritance to his grandkids. But it works both ways: If you either can’t, or won’t, leave your grandkids a billion bucks after

you die, you’re NOT a good man! Even if another Great Depression hits and wipes out all you’ve saved after working your butt off 100 hours a week. Even if money ain’t worth the paper it’s printed on. You hear lots of preaching about how rotten you are as a parent unless you hit your kids. But if one proverb is binding, they ALL are, and equally so. Why isn’t there more hullabaloo about poor old folks being hell-bound reprobates because they couldn’t save an inheritance for their grandkids? And next time these self-righteous Bible twisters go share the gospel with some sinner, why don’t they tell that sinner he’s got to cough up some cash because the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the righteous?

Jesus did NOT teach that earthly wealth is a sign of God’s favor. Nor did He teach spanking in any of the Gospels. Solomon views children as being full of foolishness and in need of a good beating (Prov.22:15). Jesus teaches adults to become as little children in order to enter the Kingdom (Matt.18:3). Whose viewpoint holds greater authority in our lives? That of Solomon or Christ? And where Old Testament ways conflict with the New, what should win out? The old or the new?

Why don’t Christian bosses increase worker productivity with a whip like Solomon did (I Kings 12:14) ? Because it’s against the law to administer cruel and unusual punishments, especially in America. But spanking is legal (and left to the parents’ own discretion) in most parts of the world. Fallen man tends to do whatever he can get away with. If spanking were illegal like those other punishments in Proverbs, perhaps Brother Bat would do a rethink on it.

The Priest of Paddles

There was a lot in Brother Bat’s book about how considerate and loving husbands should be toward wives, etc. There was much talk about devotion to Jesus, the priesthood of the father, etc. But for the most part, it was a “How to Beat Your Kids” manual which whitewashed physical torture by turning it into a holy, emotionally charged religious rite administered by Daddy, the teary-eyed, all-wise punishing priest of the family.

Can you imagine Brother Bat kneeling in the candlelit woodshed as his kid bends over waiting for the Spanking Ceremony (excuse me, EVENT!) to begin, and Brother Bat waves his arms and sings, “I bow at thy shrine, O paddle divine!”

If pain is what drives kids to faith in Jesus, then how big does the stick have to be? Are we talking about a boat paddle or a fly swatter? Is a kid has been “worn out” with a three-inch thick holey paddle, is he any holier than the child who gets two swats with a

wooden spoon? Is a puppy holy because he gets swatted with a rolled-up newspaper when he decorates the floor? How many licks should your child get for dropping a gum wrapper on that same floor?

Many years ago a bunch of us young people would ride together to church meetings. “Juanita”, this divorced lady started driving several of us around to different Christian events. Juanita had an adorable two-year-old son, always full of life and questions. I never saw “Joey” do anything bad and couldn’t figure out why he kept getting in trouble with his mom. Maybe he whined just a little because he was tired from all the excitement. But whatever the reason, “Juanita” would jump on it as an excuse to use The Rod to “train” her little boy. More than anything, Juanita believed in the power of The Rod to turn children into fine upstanding Christians.

It wasn’t just the spankings, it was the WAY they were carried out! Personally I don’t think that two-year-olds who moan and groan because they’re tired are mature enough to realize they’re committing some terrible sin that merits punishment.

On several occasions, Juanita would decide it was time to chastise Joey for the vague offense he’d probably already forgotten about. She’d pull over by the roadside. Her friend “Mary” would carry out the sentence. Sharply she’d order Joey to pull his pants down. Mary would switch his backside until he started crying. Then she’d tell the toddler she was trying to train him with The Rod. I’d sit there feeling embarrassed for the poor child with his BVD’s exposed to everybody in the car. Though I’d been told this treatment was good for Joey, for some vague reason I’d feel grieved deep inside my heart. But is this the Christian way to treat a toddler, a human being barely out of infancy who can’t yet tell his right hand from his left (Jonah 4:11)?

Deut.1:39: Moreover your little ones, which ye said should be a prey, AND YOUR CHILDREN, WHICH IN THAT DAY HAD NO KNOWLEDGE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL, they shall go in thither, and unto them will I give it, and they shall possess it.

If you’ve gotta crack down that hard on a toddler who doesn’t even know right from wrong, and can’t tell good from evil, how come grown-up Christians who DO know these things don’t get spanked when they act restless in church? Can you imagine the pastor catching some man fidgeting and playing with his cell phone, then he orders the poor guy to drop his drawers in front of the whole congregation so the deacon can swat him with a tree branch?

The supreme irony of the situation is this: Juanita, the very same lady who whipped her son to train him to be like Jesus, ended up doing something far worse than whining. She knew this couple who were having marital problems. Instead of encouraging them to work it out and stay together, Juanita tried to steal the other woman’s husband! When the pastor rebuked her for this, she complained to everyone that it was none of his business! Imagine if Juanita’s Heavenly Father was as hard on her as she’d been on her own son! Where was HER punishment from the Rod of Correction?

Some Christian parents are so strict they refuse to relent even if the child pleads for mercy with tears. They insist that even if the child repents before God before he’s dragged down to the cellar, the spanking still has to be inflicted because that’s the law in their home.

The Law demanded the death penalty for sexual sins, offenses far more evil than any childish pranks (Lev.20:10; Deut.22:20-24). Nothing is said about the guilty people being spared the punishment even if they ask God’s forgiveness. They had to die. Period. So on that one point the Bible agrees with Brother Bat, at least the Old Testament.

Brother Bat related an incident where he spanked one of his kids for something he didn’t even do. Brother Bat said, “I can’t unspank you. But will you forgive me?”

The boy said, “Sure, dad, can I have a peanut butter sandwich?”

Brother Bat was trying to reassure parents that even if they get it wrong sometimes and spank an innocent child, it’ll all come out in the wash. When I read it, I felt like saying, “Bend over, Brother Bat. You spank your children and leave them with a blistered butt even if their guilt isn’t established beyond the shadow of a doubt. You tell parents to punish children when their tiny hands spill milk at the dinner table. So why should you get off the hook when YOU have an “accident”?

In John chapter 4 Jesus spoke with the woman at the well about salvation. This particular woman had a long string of former lovers. She wasn’t even married to her present partner. Jesus didn’t tell that shameless hussy to bend over the well so he could spank her for unchaste conduct. And in John 8:3-11 he dealt kindly with another woman who committed adultery and was about to be stoned by a mob of enraged men. Jesus helped this woman escape the penalty stipulated by the law: death by stoning (He knew He would soon die to pay the penalty of her sins). Jesus asked the crowd if they were any better than she was. He told her to go and

sin no more. No mention of any whipping being necessary to “discipline” her flesh or “break her will”.

The men who dragged this woman to judgment did just like King Saul when he only PARTIALLY obeyed God’s orders. In I Samuel 15 God ordered Saul to totally annihilate ALL the Amalekites and ALL their livestock. Saul butchered a bunch of Amalekites and Amalekite animals, but let the Amalekite king and the best of the Amalekite animals live. Samuel chewed Saul out for keeping God’s orders his own way. In God’s sight, partial obedience is the same as DISobedience. The adulterous woman was taken IN THE VERY ACT (John 8:4). It takes two to tango. They could have seized the man and brought him to Jesus too. Didn’t these good Jews read their own Bible? Lev.20:10 specifically states that BOTH the adulterer and the adulteress had to die. Even if the Roman occupation didn’t permit the Jews to put MEN to death at that time (see John 18:31) they were still disobeying God’s commandment by sparing the guilty man. Oddly enough, that catch-22 didn’t stop them from stoning Stephen, a male, in Acts chapter 7.

The above examples are an illustration of SELECTIVE enforcement of law over grace. The angry mob were probably misogynist Neanderthal brutes who hated women anyway, so that’s why it didn’t bother them too much to dump all their fury on the woman while the man got off scot-free (to go hit on somebody else’s wife). But when Stephen preached Christ to hostile Jewish men and pricked their evil conscience, the angry mob ignored the Roman law against Jews carrying out executions and unleashed their fury on him. Just like the mob would have killed the woman if Jesus hadn’t shamed them out of it with His wise words.

Fundamentalist Christian parents can be very SELECTIVE about who gets law and who gets grace in their home. Some are so strict that even if their four-year-old child tearfully apologizes after dropping a dish, they’ll get the switch out anyway and let her have it “to train her” (for what? To be afraid of them)? That’s law. But when Daddy hits his thumb with a hammer and takes the Lord’s name in vain, he’ll ask Jesus to forgive him and go on his merry way as if nothing had happened. That’s grace. Unmerited mercy and forgiveness that aren’t first earned by enduring a spanking.

Bubba the Butt Buster

Imagine an affluent pastor visits a poor family of six, and they’re all gathered at the dinner table. The three eldest children’s backsides are all swollen and sore from the bad beating Daddy gave them yesterday. Hazel, their mother, bless her soul, is worried it’ll happen again before their blackened buttocks get the chance to heal up.

Bubba, the children’s daddy, wants to impress the pastor with the reverent atmosphere of his household. Bubba wants to prove how blessed he is even if he ain’t rich. Bubba had been flabbergasted when the pastor invited himself to come over “to get better acquainted.” Funny how Hazel only smiled, as if she weren’t too surprised. Very few folks from the poor side of town ever got a visit from this popular pastor. Laid off from his last job because of his bad temper, Bubba had to dip deep in his piggy bank to be able to afford this feast. Normally the family subsisted on starchy junk like noodles and pinto beans, or anything they could get from the local food bank.

Soft pillows have been placed on the children’s chairs. Only baby Jason is able to sit without pain. Roast beef is on the table, along with dishes of mashed taters, gravy, butter beans, corn bread and black eye peas. There’s even a vase of fresh flowers on the clean white tablecloth. Soft hymns play on the same CD player which usually churns out Blue Grass country. Every head is bowed and every eye closed. The preacher, given the seat of honor at the head of the table, smiles at the tranquil scene before him. He wonders at the way the well-mannered children sit so reverently with bowed heads and folded hands. Not one eye dares to open to peep at the mouth-watering treats on the table. The preacher shuts his eyes too.

Before the preacher can utter the first word of grace, the silence is broken by a loud, deep bullfrog burp. The children hold their noses to stifle their nervous snickering but they can’t help it. Starved of fun and laughter for so long, they tumble out of their chairs in uncontrollable hysterics. The toddler watches the older kids laughing and joins in, so excited he makes a puddle in his high chair.

HIS moment of glory has been ruined! All year long Bubba has waited for HIS chance to impress the senior pastor of his 5,000-member church. That wonderful Christian leader in the fancy blue suit will probably never drop by this heathen home again.

That rich pastor must think we’re all a bunch of ignorant hillbillies, Bubba fumes, mad as a junk yard dog robbed of a rump roast.

“Alvin!” Bubba yells at his oldest son. “You done that on purpose! You got in trouble yesterday, so I know it was you that done it! I’m gonna burn up your britches, boy!” Bubba unbuckled his belt.

“Daddy, no!” Alvin cries, cowering. “Don’t hit me!”

“NO!” his wife pleads. “Leave him alone! It was me! I couldn’t hep it ‘cause my innards always growl when I git hungry!”

“Just look what you kids made that baby do!” Bubba yells. “It’s a-drippin’ all over the floor and that dumb dog’s a-lickin’ it up! Right in front of the pastor, too. Oh, Pastor Hibbins, how will God ever fergive us for the unholy things you seen here today?”

To his surprise, the preacher laughs too. “Brother Bubba, I’m used to stuff like that. I was raised in a family of seven children and we had our awkward moments too.”

“Still, there’s gotta be diz’pline in this here house,” mean old Bubba grumbles. All’a you kids laughed, so go stand off to the side of the table and bend over. The baby made a mess so it gets punished too.”

His wife jumps up from the table and picks up the wailing baby, who feels all the fear and tension in the air. “Don’t you dare hit my precious little baby!” Hazel cries hoarsely.

“You hush up, woman!” Bubba booms, raising his big bulky body from his chair. “My Bible teaches you to submit to your husband! I can do whatever I want to around here. Ain’t that so, Pastor?”

Pastor Hibbins stares at his plate, silently. He wishes he were a million miles away.

“Well, ain’t that so?” Bubba demands again.

“No, Bubba,” the Pastor finally says. “You can only do whatever God wants. By the way, how much do you weigh?”

“What’s that got to do with the price of peas in China?” Bubba mutters.

“Just answer me, Bubba. How much do you weigh?”

“Around 320 I guess, give or take a few pounds.”

“Now, how much does the baby weigh?”

Bubba doesn’t know, but his wife does. “Just last Friday a nurse weighed him. He’s up to sixteen pounds.”

“That’s a fairly easy problem to solve,” says the pastor. “Hmmm. That means Bubba’s twenty times the size of baby Jason. And not only that, he’s at least four times bigger than the older children.”

“So what’re you drivin’ at, pastor?” Bubba drawls.

“Bubba,” the pastor says, “it’s bad enough your older children live in fear of your strap, but what about this tiny little toddler you’re threatening right now? You know you’re big enough to break every bone in his body. Who gave you the right to do such a thing?”

“God put me in charge of this here home, pastor, and my wife has gotta do what I say.”

“Not if it means going against God, Bubba. He gave you those precious children to love and cherish, not to beat half to death. Any mother worth her salt is gonna protect her own babies from harm. And how would you feel, Bubba, if some man four times your size laid into you with a belt every time you made a mistake?

Bubba glares. Hazel hopes she can soften him up. “What about me, Bubba? I told a lie when I said I was the one that burped. Nobody knows who done it ‘cause all our eyes were shut tight.”

“And I laughed along with the kids,” the pastor coolly admits. “It’s a good thing you weren’t laughing, Bubba, because you won’t like what I have to say.”

“Huh?” Bubba blinks, looking up from the meat he’s carving. He keeps on slicing, mouth open, staring into space, until…

”Dadgummit! I cut muh durn finger! Hazel, go fetch the Bactine!” Bubba picks up a paper napkin to stop the bleeding as his frazzled wife flees the room.

“There you go again, Bubba,” says the pastor. “I just heard you swear.”

“Didn’t do no such thing, pastor. I said ‘dadgummit’ and ‘durn’.”

“But I know what those words stand for, Bubba. Not only that, last Sunday I was getting in my car to go home from church when I overheard you in the parking lot cursing and swearing and using REAL cuss words.”

“Well, what of it?”

“Don’t you think that’s a sin, Bubba?”

“Naw, I had every right to do that. A bee snuck up from behind and stung me. Where, I won’t say.”

“But Bubba,” the pastor sighs, “what if one of your children had used such foul language?”

“I’d’a tore ‘em up right then and there.”

“Even if they asked God for forgiveness?”

“Yep. Gotta diz’pline my children.”

The pastor opens his Bible. “Bubba, James 3:1 teaches that those who are in charge of teaching others will be judged more severely by God when they stray from the paths of righteousness. Also, our Lord Jesus taught that the servant who didn’t know any better received fewer stripes than the one who knew his Lord’s will and disobeyed Him anyway.”

“But pastor, grown-ups don’t get spanked, kids do.”

“Wrong again, Bubba. Read Hebrews 12:6 and you’ll discover how risky it is to provoke God to anger like you’re doing right now by being mean to your family. God disciplines every son whom he receives, not just those under 21.

“Bend over, Bubba. The Bible says the father is supposed to set a godly example for his family. If your children have to get spanked every time they foul up, so do you.”

“But pastor…”

“No buts, Bubba. Except the one I came here to beat.”

Spankianity’s Destructive Teachings

Did Bubba comply? I’ll leave that one hanging. Some Christian adults sing and shout about how they live under God’s grace and no longer fear being under his wrath as imperfect human beings. Yet they deny grace to their own tiny children, who are expected to behave like perfect ladies and gentlemen ALL the time! Perhaps because adults brought their child into this world and pay for their upkeep, they feel they “own” these tiny human beings and are entitled to threaten and beat them how and when they please. To them, it’s no big deal to wear their kids out for acting cranky when they’re tired or for not eating all the peas on their plates.

Are adults any better? Christians sometimes envy other Christians, they sometimes get mad at God, they gossip about other Christians, they sometimes act uncharitable or dishonest toward other people. Sometimes Christian marriages break up because of adultery, spousal abuse or desertion. Occasionally you hear of some famous

Christian Bible teacher who’s on his third or fourth divorce & remarriage. Can you spell “hypocrite”?

Adults act no holier than the children they punish. But they’re eager to cast the first stone. Perfection is expected of tiny children who have just entered the world. But grownups who have had many years to learn the difference between right and wrong expect others to overlook their own flaws and imperfections. Just like dictators can get away with crimes peasants get punished for, adult authority figures are held less accountable for what they say and do. When some little children were brought to Jesus for His blessing, the disciples thought they were being a nuisance (Matt.19:13-15). But Jesus welcomed them with open arms and blessed them. He didn’t do like one popular televangelist who yelled that little children, even newborn babies, are vipers who need to get their spiritual education out in the woodshed.

Human will is evil, Brother Bat asserted in his manual. So evil it must be broken in early childhood to make us pliable in the Hands of the Lord (or other people’s hands?). Human nature is wicked, desperately so. But sin can’t be beaten out of the human heart. SPANKIANITY is bad theology and dangerous error. SPANKIANITY is a form of a heresy I call “Supplemental Suffering Salvation”. Other ways this might be practiced are:

1. Many medieval “saints” tried to earn their own salvation by enduring poverty, bad treatment, sickness and disease. Some of them wore scratchy hair shirts crawling with lice to “discipline their flesh”.2. Many nuns and monks fast or flagellate themselves to punish their bodies for sin.3. A Pentecostal might vow to God that he’ll fast every Wednesday from now on, if only God will forgive him for cheating on his wife.

Spanking kids who are ALREADY repentant teaches them that they must pay “matching funds” with Jesus to persuade God to forgive them and clear their account in heaven. Only when they’re grown up do they escape the shadow of the paddle (Law) and enter the realm of grace like their daddy, who doesn’t get his backside blistered when he uses a swear word. This unfairness makes children wonder if Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross works better for Mom and Dad, who don’t owe any extra suffering for the sins they commit!

Far from seeking to crush the human will, God repeatedly affirms its crucial role in human life.

Acts 5:4: WHILES IT REMAINED, WAS IT NOT THINE OWN? AND AFTER IT WAS SOLD, WAS IT NOT IN THINE OWN POWER? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.* * * *Peter tells Ananias that while he had his own land in his own possession, Ananias had the right to do whatever he wanted with that land. That implies the right to personal human will! God did not break Ananias’ will to FORCE him to sell his own land. Ananias sold it out of greed, not fear. Ananias and Sapphira knew they could live off the church common fund if they lied to the apostles and said they’d given away all their assets to the church. So they kept back part of the price of the land and kept their mouths shut about it. Incidentally, Ananias’ fatal sin was lying to the Holy Ghost, not refusing to give all his cash to the church. Notice, that Peter did not scold Ananias for possessing a human will. The sin was in the misuse of that will to lie to God!

I Cor.9:17: For if I do this thing WILLINGLY, I have a reward: but if against MY WILL, a dispensation of the gospel is committed unto me.* * * * *Paul’s will is involved here as to his own personal choice. Paul does not condemn the possession of a human will.

I Cor.7:39: The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, SHE IS AT LIBERTY TO BE MARRIED TO WHOM SHE WILL; only in the Lord.* * * * *Paul does not advise a Christian widow to have God break her will so she’s forced to marry some mean old wife beater who will teach her patience and longsuffering. She uses her OWN free will to freely choose any new husband God approves of.

This phrase, “break the human will” appears NOWHERE in Scripture, only a willingness to discover and live by the perfect will of God (Rom.12:2). This is done by the RENEWING of your mind, not through submission to some torture. There have been cases where nuns or monks try to beat selfishness and other vices out of themselves, thinking that abusing their body can drive out the carnal nature and help them make it to heaven. Brother Bat’s teaching on “breaking” a child is sort of like this. The very idea that you can achieve holiness through bodily suffering is the same reason some Catholics crawl up a mountainside on bloody knees to reach a religious shrine.

These deceitful religious teachings slipped in by satan seem to be oh, so spiritual because they involve a false humility (drummed-up self-abasement) discouraged by Col.2:23. But they’re deadly to true faith in the grace of God, which is FREELY bestowed through the righteousness and obedience of Christ (Rom.5:15-21). These punitive practices do nothing to counteract the weaknesses of sinful flesh. These ways APPEAR to be wise because of the discomfort and difficulty involved in such self-abasement.

Some see certain non-Biblical teachings as being binding “principles” of the Christian life. Many are deep into Christian mysticism, a practice of searching for “deeper” truths of God hidden in the Bible, instead of being content with its plain content. Only more “mature” believers understand these hidden gold nuggets of secondary and tertiary meanings distilled from selected scripture texts while the rest of us dumb yokels just take the Bible at face value. Much of Brother Bat’s rationale for harsh paddling springs from his Christian Mysticism point of view. Jesus suffered terribly so in order to make your kids holy, so it follows that in order for them to walk THE WAY OF THE CROSS (as defined by Brother Bat), they have to suffer terribly too.

The Breaking of the Will was a Christian Mysticism teaching circulating in the church world back in the 1970’s, taught in Christian magazines and articles. Another one was the Breaking of the Soul, taught nowhere in scripture as a binding doctrine on the believer. The ONLY scripture where “break” and “soul” appear together is Psalms 119:20: My soul breaketh for the longing that it hath unto thy judgments at all times.* * * *The psalmist has an intense longing for the Word of God. He doesn’t beg God to break his soul to pieces. It is NOT a commandment to Christians under grace to torture themselves (or others) to prove to God how spiritual-minded they are! It’s the King James English way of saying that the Psalmist aches with longing to learn the ways of the Lord, similar to the way you’d ache with longing to see righteousness prevail in an unjust society. It is dangerous and spiritually unhealthy to base church doctrine on one isolated verse.

The “breaking of the soul” (b.s.) doctrine was practiced by deep mournful sobs of self-abasement. I almost fell for this gloomy garbage but my pastor caught it in the nick of time and dealt with the brother who tried to sneak it into our church. One article I read on the Brokenness heresy was based on the story of the broken alabaster vase which released the fumes of sweet perfume for all to enjoy (Mark 14:3). Before the perfume could be enjoyed, the alabaster vase must first be broken.

I believe God included that story in scripture to show that our love for Jesus must sometimes manifest itself in extravagant ways, just like Mary was thought to be extravagant when she used the expensive perfume to anoint Jesus for His burial instead of selling it and giving the money to the poor. The aim of this story was NOT to teach God’s people to beat up on themselves! NOWHERE in the Bible does God demand the destruction of your soul in order for the fragrance of Jesus to be released! Another popular heresy.

I got spiritual indigestion from Christian Mysticism teachings. They made me a sadder Christian, not a happier one. Such negative nonsense made me more inwardly focused, instead of being able to concentrate on what God could do through me to bless others. Christians don’t need to complexify the teachings of Scripture to get sufficient meaning out of it. Why isn’t the PLAIN Word of God, RIGHTLY DIVIDED AND CORRECTLY APPLIED TO NEW TESTAMENT BELIEVERS UNDER GRACE, enough to help a Christian raise their families?

I hate to say this, but I kind’a suspect that the REAL reason Christians get swallowed up in all those “deeper” teachings is it’s much easier to minister to ONE (yourself) than to be outwardly focused. Inwardly-focused believers really don’t relish having to buckle down to the business of winning souls, ministering to the hungry and sick, and generally doing good, POSITIVE things to be a blessing to others. Satan knows you can’t do more than two or three things at once as you live out your limited time on earth.

No-nonsense James defines the Christian life in a nutshell:James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Which brings us back to our topic. Notice, James says nothing about spanking being a Christian act of devotion. The first thing he tells you to do to show you love Jesus is to do something kind for some unhappy, needy person. Bring joy to someone else’s life instead of tears. James also says we’re to avoid being contaminated by this world of sin. But James doesn’t mention 72-hour prayer hotline shifts, whipping, fasting, or beating holiness into a tiny child. Perform practical, POSITIVE acts of love and clean up your own act before you “wear out” some toddler who dropped his peas on the floor! Some Christians would rather perform a three-month water fast to make other Christians feel like gluttonous, carnal pigs than take food to a hungry family in the church! Some Christians would rather beat the tar out of their kids to “show the love of Jesus” than spend ten minutes playing Frisbee with them in the park.

Don’t feel like a failure just because you don’t listen to flakey teachings which can actually do more harm than good. I feel sorry for children brought up by parents who are steeped in the “suffering is good” and “break the human soul and will” heresies. They know firsthand what that breaking involves.

Speaking of breaking, I’ve read and heard horror stories of teenagers being badly beaten and tortured in “Christian” homes for wayward youth. And for such nebulous offenses as making a bed the wrong way or being unable to memorize a long scripture passage.

What a wonderful way to instill love for the Word of God into children! What a wonderful way to ground them in the love of Jesus! Kids were reportedly chained to drainpipes, forced to swallow soap, tied up with Duck Tape, forced to kneel on marbles, paddled black and blue, locked in a room with no bathroom privileges and forced to sit in their own filth while audiotapes of “Brother Blastoff” played full blast.

If these allegations are accurate, no wonder those sadist scumheads didn’t want the godless state to license their homes! According to one boy’s account, religious officials beat the skin off his back and nearly killed him, and thought it was funny. They’ll be laughing when God sends them to a hell tailor-made with the same torments they used on others who couldn’t defend themselves!

I’m not advocating a lack of discipline in the home. Far from it. Any kid who’s beating up his brother or sister and won’t stop acting like a wild animal might need enough of a swat on the seat to subdue him so he’ll stop his dangerous, aggressive behavior before somebody gets hurt. When children bite somebody, a firm swat or two might be necessary in that case also. Gentle verbal persuasion might not work with a wildly aggressive child, nor would “time out” in their room work, because the child is acting hostile and violent and endangering others. You couldn’t wait several months for “positive reinforcement training” to persuade an aggressive child to quit biting. Either you or one of the other kids might need stitches by the time the little biter “grows out of” his biting fixation.

But for children who are cooperative, calm, rational and non-violent, spanking is harmful and unnecessary. If a child already enjoys an excellent relationship with his/her parent, and deeply repents right away, punishment isn’t necessary. And even when a penalty DOES need to be meted out, it should fit the crime. For example: A child who deliberately wrecks his sibling’s bike has to do extra chores around the house to earn money to pay to replace it, and during that time he or she loses the use of their own bike. Discipline should teach that every action carries corresponding consequences, both to themselves and others (Eccl.9:18; Gal.6:7).

Jesus never would have punished the “Jezebel” character in Rev.2:21 if she had repented of her sins during the space (time to consider her ways) that He allowed her. Christian parents must use godly wisdom and refrain from rash, harmful actions, even as they remain in charge of their own homes. They must never let their kids trash the house, yell curse words, beat each other up, deface the walls, disobey orders to help clean the yard, etc. When kids REFUSE to obey or listen, there must be firm consequences. But the butt isn’t the seat of faith in Jesus. Our HEART is the seat of faith. That’s

the place where a change is wrought by the grace, not the fierce wrath of, Almighty God.

Only God Can Sanctify the Human Heart

Christians need to walk in daily sanctification. They need to teach their children right from wrong through their daily godly example. But human personality and will don’t need to be destroyed. God created individual personalities. To say people’s personality and human will must be destroyed so others can control them is the manifesto of cult leaders. Most people think you need a building (or hippie farm) full of weird-looking strangers to build a cult. But the family home can function as one too. The hallmark of a cult is CONTROL BY OTHERS IN AUTHORITY AND TOTAL SUPPRESSION OF INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITY. The dad is going too far if he forbids his Christian children to be directly taught by God, and if he rules by fear, imposing his own personality and will on them in all matters. What will that child do once he leaves home and is unable to form sound judgments for himself, because Daddy isn’t there to make all his decisions for him? Yes, parents ARE to teach their children the fundamentals of the faith, but only the Holy Spirit can reach deep into their hearts to impart the deep things of God.

Isaiah 54:13: And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

I Cor.2:10:  But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.*****Physical punishment can’t reveal the deep things of God to a Christian child any more than it can force a blind man to see.

I John 2:27:  But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

Humans don’t have to beat themselves with a whip to get closer to Jesus. They need to be transformed BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD so they’ll daily have the grace from within to surrender to the Lordship of Christ. That’s an act of our will. We make a conscious decision to walk with God and follow Jesus because he draws us with His love. Otherwise, we’d be like laboratory rats conditioned by fear of pain for making wrong choices. Actually, our will plays a crucial role in determining whether we will come to a saving faith in Jesus. God doesn’t force Himself on anyone.

Rom.12:2: And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.****Through

use of our sanctified faculties, we study the Word of God to determine what is the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. We are not robots!

The Heart Can’t be Changed by Force

Whosoever WILL may come and drink freely of the Water of Life (Rev.22:17). You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink, as this far-fetched tale illustrates.

There once was an Old West prospector who wanted to water his mule. But for some reason the mule wasn’t acting very thirsty. Determined to force the mule toward the water hole and get water down its gullet, the man struggled with the ornery critter, sweating and straining and digging in his heels as the mule tried to back away. Now stubbornness is part of a mule's nature, but the mule wasn’t exercising the godly kind of stubbornness which resists satan’s temptations. He was acting stubborn toward his owner who was urging him to do something good for his own health. Today the critter was acting even more bizarre than usual because he had been grazing on loco weed. So he didn’t have sense enough to know when he was thirsty. The owner feared his animal would die of dehydration if he didn’t have a drink of water.

The mule reared back and bucked, nearly knocking the poor man down. But the man persisted. Finally the mule gave in because the strain on his bit was making his mouth sore. The man began to sing and rejoice because it seemed like the mule was meekly following him to the watering hole, head bowed in submission. But the mule was rankling with resentment on the inside because he had been overpowered by a smaller creature.

Finally they reached the edge of the pond. "You’d better get your belly full now," said the man. "It’ll be a long way before we see fresh water again."

The mule didn’t want to give his owner the satisfaction. Stiffly he raised his head, mouth tightly closed. He brayed in defiance.

"Actin’ stubborn again, eh?" his owner grumbled. "Well, I’m gonna break you of that right here and now. I’m not gonna be beaten by any dumb mule. You’re gonna drink this water if it kills you!"

With all his might the man tugged at the mule. But still the animal made a hellacious racket and refused to bow his head in submission and drink. The man jumped in the water, still holding the reins. "About time you had a good bath, too," he said. "C’mon in."

The mule stood his ground at the bank of the pond. But the man did manage to force the mule’s muzzle into the water and hold it under the surface. "Ah," said the man, "you’re drinking now. I’ve won."

No, he didn’t win…exactly. The stubborn mule drowned because the water went down the wrong pipe.

* * * * * *

Medieval “Christian” crusaders forced conversions to their religion at the point of a sword. The same principle applies to beating a child with a paddle until he/she tearfully prays for God’s forgiveness. Does the child feel heartfelt sorrow for his/her sins (or alleged sins), or do they fear a second helping of the belt if they don’t pray with the parent?

Rom.10:10: For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

Beating a child until they surrender to Jesus is just as much TORTURE as the horrors of the Spanish Inquisition, which used torture racks and thumbscrews to force people to conform to the will of Catholic religious leaders. Some “heretics” who didn’t conform to Catholic authorities were burnt at the stake. Even if someone tortures you to break your will, they have no control over what’s happening inside your heart, although they can force you to “confess” something to stop the torture. Maybe someday mind-reading technology will be developed but at the present time our thoughts are pretty private unless we speak them out. Only God knows for sure if an expression of repentance is heartfelt and genuine. Sometimes Christian parents overreach their authority and barge into the inner sanctum of the human heart where God speaks gently to try to reach that child with His love. Only God knows if a child’s heart is truly contrite, or if there is resentment smoldering in it because of brutal treatment by the parent.

Children who grow up being brutalized (as opposed to fairly, lovingly disciplined) run the risk of turning away from their parents’ religion when they get older because they associate God with a razor strap. Especially if no one teaches them what God is really like.

Psalms 103:13: Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. 14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

Isa.40:11: He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.

Contrast this tender attitude of Almighty God with the heartless attitude of Christian parents who go to extremes in child REAR-ing.

…. with FORCE and with cruelty have ye ruled them. (From Ezek.34:4).

Solomon’s Sad Example

Proverbs 13:24 and 22:15 are the scriptures used by spankers to support physical pain as being the only means of discipline. In this book on how to RUIN the ideal Christian family, King Solomon, who had a thousand wives to build a Christian home with, is touted as being the best child rearing expert in all of human history. Just because he allegedly wrote the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs is part of the Bible. But so is this scripture passage which instructs parents to have a disobedient child stoned to death: Deut.21:18-21. There is NOT ONE exhortation in the New Testament epistles to put a rebellious child to death. Nor does the New Testament give instructions on whether to spank, or how hard, what to use, how many licks to administer, etc.

What about King Solomon, the overrated Dr. Spock of his era? He warned against oppressing the poor (Prov.14:31;17). Solomon warned against refusing to hear the cries of the poor (Prov.21:13). Solomon warned the rich that there would be hell to pay if they oppressed the poor to get richer (Prov.22:16). So what does Solomon do but beat his own people with whips in order to squeeze more work (and wealth) out of them (I Kings 12:10-11; 2 Chron.10:14)? Just like today’s politicians whose favorite byline is “I feel your pain”, Solomon lived in ease and luxury while conscripting forced labor gangs and inflicting pain on others.

Solomon reminds me of the doctor who warns others smoking will kill them, but he still smokes ten packs a day himself.

One proverb quoted by spankers is:

Prov. 20:30: The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

In the New Testament we are taught that the blood of Jesus cleanses away our sins, not a brutal beating. Jesus took a horrible scourging on our behalf in order to purchase healing for us (I Pet.2:24). But the teaching that our own physical pain cleanses away sin and makes us holier people is contrary to our Gospel of Grace.

I wonder if Solomon, who stated that the rod and reproof give wisdom (Prov.29:15) was ever struck by his own father. If it ALWAYS

takes a beating to make a child wise, then you’d wonder why Solomon couldn’t just have had his wisdom beaten into him. Why would Solomon even bother to ask God for wisdom if all it took was a good pummeling with a paddle (2 Chron.1:12)? That’s like saying the way to the heart is through the backside!

The Holy Spirit gives believers wisdom (I Cor.1:30; 12:8,24). Christ IS our wisdom, and we don’t get it by being beaten. If you’re dealing with a Christian child who loves the Lord, any true wisdom he or she has in their life will only come from God, not the paddle. David seems to have been indulgent with at least some of his sons. David neglected to punish Amnon, who raped his sister Tamar. David dealt as leniently as possible with another son, rebellious Absalom. He didn’t order Absalom to be killed or even flogged if captured. People say David’s son Solomon was the wisest child-rearing expert in scripture, not just the wisest man who ever lived. But the proof is in the pudding. Like beauty, WISDOM IS AS WISDOM DOES! Was Solomon a great dad just because he talked tough? How did his own son and successor, Rehoboam, turn out?

Rehoboam was an arrogant, spoiled brat who despised his lowly subjects. In one day this young upstart unraveled a united Kingdom of Israel which had taken his grandfather David years of painstaking effort and delicate diplomacy to achieve. In I Kings 12: 1-24 Rehoboam goes against the sound of advice of the older sages to treat the people kindly and fairly. Instead of listening to the valid concerns of his overworked, stressed-out people, he warns them that he’ll whip them even harder than his dad did, and this time he’ll use scorpions instead of rawhide. Result: Ten of the twelve tribes of Israel seceded from the Kingdom.

Jesus said that decent fathers don’t offer their children scorpions when they need an egg (Luke 11:12-13). A scorpion is NOT one of the “good gifts” a decent father offers his children, contrary to modern fundamentalist child-REAR-ing theology which exalts bruises and beatings as being acts of love. Christian parents commonly tell their tiny children, prior to a spanking: “Jesus told me to do this, so I must obey Him.” Always third-party the blame, even if it makes someone else look like an ogre. No one can produce one solitary Gospel verse where Jesus commands a single child to be beaten. Instead of beating kids, Jesus blessed them.

Abuse of authority leads to resentment and estrangement, not respect and love. Obviously Solomon failed in his responsibility to teach Rehoboam to respect his fellow human beings as souls formed in the image of God. Children learn by example, not words alone.

The Book of Proverbs warns against such sins such as slander, adultery, criminal conspiracies, drunkenness, gluttony and overindulgence in wine. Proverbs exhorts you to mind your own business, zip your lip, work hard, and be true to the wife of your youth. Good, sound advice. But did Solomon follow all of it?

Solomon wrote this piece of advice aimed at men:

Prov.22:14: The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of (hated by) the LORD shall fall therein.* * * *The KJV word “strange” can either mean “foreign” or “profane”, depending on the context in which it is found.

Solomon’s proverbs warn against involvement with the kind of woman God disapproves of. Polygamous King Solomon taught men to enjoy life with the wife (singular) of their youth (Prov.5:18). BTW, why do so many TV preachers bellow about beating holiness into kids, and damn America to hell for forsaking family values, and trade their wife in for a new model when she no longer looks like Toothpick Barbie? Why don’t bellicose preachers enforce ALL Proverbs as zealously as they enforce the child-beating Proverbs? Most of Proverbs chapter 7 gives a graphic warning against lusting after wicked women. Some very famous preachers have gotten caught in the red light district with hookers. After being respected worldwide for his wisdom in the early part of his reign, what sort of example did King Solomon set for holiness in his later life?

I Kings 11:1:But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites; 2 Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. 3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. 4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father. 5 For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. 6 And Solomon did evil in the sight of the LORD, and went not fully after the LORD, as did David his father. 7 Then did Solomon build an high place for Chemosh, the abomination of Moab, in the hill that is before Jerusalem, and for Molech, the abomination of the children of Ammon. 8 And likewise did he for all his strange wives, which burnt incense and sacrificed unto their gods.

9 And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the LORD God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice, 10 And had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods: but he kept not that which the LORD commanded. 11 Wherefore the LORD said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant. 12 Notwithstanding in thy days I will not do it for David thy father's sake: but I will rend it out of the hand of thy son. 13 Howbeit I will not rend away all the kingdom; but will give one tribe to thy son for David my servant's sake, and for Jerusalem's sake which I have chosen.

Proverbs are included in the canon of Scripture, but they were written through an imperfect man with an eye for the ladies. In three places Solomon says they’re HIS proverbs (Prov.1:1; 10:1; 25:1). Much of God’s wisdom can be found in this collection, but a cold undercurrent of sternness runs throughout the book. Gender inequality appears in Proverbs chapter 31, where the Virtuous Woman slaves like a donkey around the clock while her husband sits in the gates and praises her. Why doesn’t Brother Bat enforce this chapter and make his wife work 20-hour days like the Virtuous Woman while he chats with his friends? Why only enforce the Spanking Proverbs? One proverb should be just as binding on believers as another.

After writing hundreds of proverbs to teach people self-discipline in their own lives, King Solomon, who had more women than he could visit in three years, wrote the Book of Ecclesiastes. In this melancholy book, Solomon laments the vanity and uselessness of all the ways he’d indulged all his own desires. Not only did King Solomon fail to take his own advice and go on to collect the world’s biggest harem of worldly women, he had ugly, scary, child-eating idols specially crafted to cater to their worship needs. Some people soften Solomon’s sin by saying he didn’t worship those gods himself, he just built them for other people as an act of diplomacy. But I Kings 11:5 records that Solomon went after, or worshipped, Milcom and Ashtoreth, two abominable heathen gods. Two gods mentioned above, Molech and Chemosh, were particularly horrible because their worship involved child sacrifice, which meant throwing little babies alive into fiery ovens. Even if Solomon himself did not physically throw a child into the hungry jaws of Molech, he was an ENABLER who made it possible for his wives to observe the bloody rites of their heathen worship.

Can you spell HYPOCRITE? Solomon, who partied with a thousand wild women and made love in a flower garden while peasants drove plows (see Song of Solomon), castigates lazy people and philanderers! I view Song of Solomon through the eyes of someone who abhors class inequalities and worker exploitation in society. Admittedly Solomon’s poetry is lovely, but only rich aristocrats could afford to spend whole days comtemplating the glories of love in a sweetly scented paradise. Solomon’s worn-out workers hardly got the chance to hit the hay with their tired old ladies at night!

The sheer nerve of that man, finding fault with others while he himself lived in luxury and built idols that ate children! Solomon exhorts parents to beat a child betimes (early) in Proverbs 13:24. That conveys the idea of cracking down hard on the kid the moment you catch him doing something wrong. How would such parents like it if they felt like their own Heavenly Father couldn’t wait to pounce on them for slipping up and gave them no opportunity to change course and do what’s right? Solomon says beatings are what keep kids out of hell (Prov.23:14). This was the very same child REAR-ing expert who sponsored the destruction of babies in the fiery belly of Molech! Back then you had to worship a god the RIGHT way, and a hamster or goldfish wouldn’t even fill Molech’s tooth. There’s no reason to think Solomon’s wives cut corners when it came time to sacrifice to those bloody gods. Is the enabler to be excused while those he enables to do the dirty deed get ALL the blame? What was God’s opinion of the child-eating fire god Molech, and those who sacrificed children to him?

Leviticus 20:1: And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 2 Again, thou shalt say to the children of Israel, Whosoever he be of the children of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn in Israel, that giveth any of his seed unto Molech; he shall surely be put to death: the people of the land shall stone him with stones. 3 And I will set my face against that man, and will cut him off from among his people; because he hath given of his seed unto Molech, to defile my sanctuary, and to profane my holy name. 4 And if the people of the land do any ways hide their eyes from the man, when he giveth of his seed unto Molech, and kill him not: 5 Then I will set my face against that man, and against his family, and will cut him off, and all that go a whoring after him, to commit whoredom with Molech, from among their people.

God viewed the worship of Molech as spiritual whoredom. There is no difference between physically performing a religious rite and ENABLING someone else to do it. Solomon risked being stoned to death, and the hot wrath of God, by sponsoring the worship of Molech and other heathen gods in the Lord’s own land. After all the privileges and blessings Solomon enjoyed, and his VIP treatment by

God, how could he stoop so low? I guess it works this way: Sin desensitizes the soul before finally killing it altogether. After you’ve fallen away from God and you’ve already run up a big sin bill to pay on Judgment Day, your conscience is so dead that you say, “What the hell, I’ve blown it now and I’m gonna go to hell anyhow, so what’s one more sin? Might as well commit some sins worth going to hell for!”

How did Solomon, constructor of baby-eating fire dragons and undisciplined discipline drill sergeant, ever earn a reputation among Christians as the Dr. Spock of the Bible, and the wisest child rearing expert in all human history? Why is this idolatrous polygamist praised so extensively in Brother Bat’s book on how to run a proper Christian home? Unlike his father David who repented numerous times, THERE IS NO RECORD IN SCRIPTURE THAT SOLOMON EVER REPENTED OF ANYTHING IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE!

Some point out that Solomon wrote his books of the Bible before he backslid against God. That may be at least partly true. But why does Proverbs warn against just about every sin under the sun, while no mention of idolatry is found among 900+ pearls of wisdom? Strange how Solomon’s own life turned out after urging parents to spank their children to keep them on the straight and narrow. Solomon’s name doesn’t appear even once in the epistles (letters to the churches) as an example of a life worth emulating. The wisest man who ever lived doesn’t even appear in the Faith Hall of Fame (Heb.11). Jesus makes only four mentions of Solomon in the Gospels (Matt.6:29,12:42;Luke 11:31;12:27). Not to promote him as a positive role model, but to make two contrasts. All the splendor of Solomon was nothing compared to the lilies of the field, and Jesus is far greater than King Solomon.

Throughout the Proverbs Solomon denounces fools and pronounces doom on people who hate reproof. They deserve a good beating. But what does he have to say about himself in Ecclesiastes, his sad book of regrets for a wasted life?

Eccl.4:13: Better is a poor and a wise child than an old and foolish king, who will no more be admonished.**** After disobeying his own dad who warned him not to forsake the Lord (I Chron.28:9), and after all the wild women he lusted after, why didn’t Solomon apply his own medicine and wear himself out with a jump rope?

Solomon strayed so far from the Lord that no one could get through to him. In Proverbs 3:11 Solomon warned others not to despise the chastening of the Lord. But what did Solomon do when God sent Jeroboam (acting as God’s rod) to punish Solomon by taking away ten of the twelve tribes of Israel? Solomon went ballistic! He despised the chastening of the Lord enough to try to kill Jeroboam

(I Kings 11:29-40). Even though the Lord’s prophet Ahijah specifically cited Solomon’s worship of other gods as the reason his dynasty would lose ten tribes. And BTW, God let David’s dynasty keep ONE tribe when the rest of Israel rebelled. Not to make Solomon feel better, but for the sake of his father David, who pleased God and knew how to repent (I Kings 11:12,13,32).

Discipline is like salt. So long as it’s necessary, it’s a good thing in appropriate amounts. But an excess of discipline can made a parent paranoid and unbalanced. Too much punishment, like too much salt, can do far more harm to a child than good.

Christian parents are zealous to raise their children to fear God. To many, being zealous for godliness in the home is synonymous with being zealous for corporal punishment because of Solomon’s advice in Proverbs 13:24 which states that if you spare your rod you hate your son. So many put two and two together and get six, meaning they think the more they hit their kid, the more they must love him! And the results are tragic. Long-term emotional damage can result, even if the body of the child recovers. Many parents automatically spank the FIRST time the child disobeys an order, just because they think Solomon commanded such strictness. Conveniently ignored is Solomon’s disobedience of his own Proverbs.

Paul’s NEGATIVE View of the Rod

The apostle Paul’s own words seem to contradict the teaching that if you restrain your rod you hate your son:

I Cor.4:21: What will ye? shall I come unto you with a rod, OR IN LOVE, AND IN THE SPIRIT OF MEEKNESS?

Paul, who had suffered many unjust beatings, offers the stubborn Corinthian believers a choice: it’s either the rod OR love and the spirit of meekness. They are not one and the same!

Some Christian pastors believe in spanking even the tiniest children who are barely out of the womb. But what does Paul list as the qualifications for a church leader?

I Tim.3:1: This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3 Not given to wine, NO STRIKER, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

And:

Titus 1:6: If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. 7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, NO STRIKER, not given to filthy lucre; 8 But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; 9 Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.

Twice Paul commands church leaders to be “no striker”. Christians are not to make a practice of striking (hitting) others, though obviously, if a Christian man has to fight to protect his wife from a rapist, hitting might be necessary. While Paul commands Christian leaders to maintain order in their own homes, he does not make an exception in his “no strike” rule to allow for parental spanking.

When New Testament teachings seem to clash with those of the Old, guess which ones should you give priority to in your faith and practice?

There are NO instructions in the New Testament to beat children or anyone else! Paul instructs parents to raise their children in the admonition (Gk. nouthesia, MILD rebuke or warning) and nurture (Gk. paideia, character-building discipline) of the Lord (Eph.6:4). Paul stops short of advising parents to beat their children.

What necessary discipline entails may or may not involve moderate corporal punishment in EXTREME cases where the child won’t listen and is getting belligerent, or when the child is being a PHYSICAL DANGER to himself or others. Even God, father of all Christians, may allow physical consequences for wrongdoing to strike one of His disobedient children. But in many cases that believer feels so awful when he realizes he’s grieved the Holy Spirit that he’ll do a U-turn and make his peace with God. I Cor.11:31 promises that if we judge ourselves we won’t be judged by God, resulting in painful punishment of some kind in our lives. It’s a good thing God is far more gracious than human beings are!

Ephesians 6:4 teaches family discipline, but it does NOT command the parent to hit the child! If the child can be trained by taking away privileges, grounding, or even a stern rebuke which results in true repentance, spanking is not necessary and could lead to the child

wondering why his dad doesn’t use the paddle on himself whenever he cuts loose with a swear word.

The mercy you give is the mercy you get from God (Matt. 5: 7). Any scumhead dad who beats his kid black and blue for dozing off in church should get his own backside blistered whenever he gets a parking ticket. And he should accept this “loving correction” from that same pinhead pastor who makes him do it.

One internationally famous spanking teacher, who’s raked in millions from teaching parents the finer points of how to BUTT-ress a child’s faith in Jesus, apparently has gone through “Woodshed Withdrawal” since his own poor kids grew up and left the loving family home, to save what’s left of their rear fenders. So the preacher invents excuses for beating the fear of God into his poor little weiner dog who commits the unpardonable sin of resting in his master’s chair. To protect his own territory and assert his authority, the preacher “trains” the sausage dog devil with the Rod of Correction to “break his will”. But instead of begging for forgiveness like a Milk Bone Biscuit, the little sausage dog devil fights back. The battle of wills only ends when the dog’s rump can take no more roasting. It’s a good thing the preacher doesn’t try that spiritual training on a pet pit bull. This preacher has written a doctrinal dissertations about the deep revelations he’s learned from his futile struggle to turn “Sparkplug” into a proper Christian. More than one author has made his fortune with a spanking fetish disguised as deeper life theology.

These preachers have fun earning a living selling what people want to hear: that Jesus wants them to beat their kids. And it’s window-dressed with a lot of deeper life mysticism to sanitize someone else’s pain. God knows how many thousands of kids have grown up burying a deep dislike toward abusive parents who drag Jesus into it when they feel like taking their frustrations out on little people who can’t defend themselves. Those who make money off this misery will have to give an account of it to God someday. I read one piece of advice, written in the 1800’s, which was pretty enlightened for its time. You can either wear your son out in the woodshed or wear him out at the woodpile. If you thrash the boy he’ll be too sore to be much use around the house for several days. But if he has to chop a big pile of wood, he’ll make himself useful and get so tired he won’t feel like getting into more trouble.

Extra chores (within reason) might be an appropriate punishment, especially in the case where the child has broken something after being ordered to settle down. By scrubbing the woodwork, weeding the garden or doing other tiring, tedious jobs, the child can “pay back” the parent for his loss, learn responsibility for his actions, and

learn to think twice before he repeats his bad behavior. Some children dread physical work even more than a mild spanking!

Corrie ten Boom, a woman evangelist mightily used of God, said her papa never spanked her or her siblings. Obviously this man knew how to get through to his precious children and make a difference in their lives without hitting them. That’s a testimony to the power of God in his life, and no, I do NOT think God sent this good Christian man to hell for failure to beat his kids.

When the parent is displeased by the children’s behavior, there should definitely be a strong verbal rebuke (not shouting or screaming) in a firm, but controlled voice. If the child enjoys a close, loving bond with his or her Christian parent and knows bad behavior has caused temporary breaking of fellowship with that beloved parent, that should feel like punishment enough, and lead to repentance. When other Christians broke off fellowship with an adulterer in the Corinthian Church, Paul said that was punishment enough because it brought forth godly sorrow. Godly sorrow (not physical torture) leads to repentance (I Cor.5:1-2; 2 Cor.2:6-7; 2 Cor.7:10). Paul didn’t order the other Christians to physically spank this man! So why should tiny children be treated worse than grownups?

While Eph.6:4 commands proper Christian discipline, this verse also warns fathers not to alienate their children through harsh treatment. Even here, spanking is not commanded or even mentioned. Proverbs stands alone in commanding spanking. Spanking was not even commanded in the five law books of Moses, though stoning and 39-stripes flogging were commanded for serious breaches of the Law. If Christians follow Solomon’s advice to spank their kids, why don’t they give equal time to Numbers 15:35 and stone church members for picking up sticks on Saturday? Why not stone church members who consult the host of heaven (the horoscope) as commanded by Deut.17:2-5)? Why not stone adulterous church members (Lev.20:10)? Because it’s against modern civilized law to hurt grownups! The apostle Paul did get stoned by a few angry mobs, but nowhere does he command Christians to stone anybody. The same applies to spanking.

The Law of Moses threatened such terrible penalties for disobedience that FEAR of breaking it should have made Israel the godliest people on the face of the earth. Well, it didn’t. You can’t scare evil out of the human heart. Paul made that clear.

Rom.8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

3 For WHAT THE LAW COULD NOT DO, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: 4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 BECAUSE THE CARNAL MIND IS ENMITY AGAINST GOD: FOR IT IS NOT SUBJECT TO THE LAW OF GOD, NEITHER INDEED CAN BE.

Paul rejected the notion that the Law, with all its penalties for breaking it, was able to make a man righteous in the sight of God. But a lot of Christian parents still think that FEAR of punishment will magically transform children into well-behaved, loving, Christlike people.

Are spankers better behaved than the spanked? In one survey, half of all churchgoing men admitted to downloading porn. Before they wear out their kid for whining during the long, windy sermon, why don’t they take a belt to themselves? Porn is far more disgusting to God than a two-year-old kicking the back of a pew.

Unmerciful Spanking

Years ago I was in a religious meeting. I walked over to one lady who gave me a friendly smile. I commented about her little boy (about 5 at the time) lying on the pew, all curled up asleep.

“He went to sleep after I tore him up real good,” she said.

“Why?” I wondered. “What did he do?”

“He tore a page in his coloring book.”

It’s a widespread belief among Christians that children who get spanked the most are the best-behaved on the planet. Not necessarily. Years later, someone told me that it didn’t work for this particular boy because he was always getting into fights with other kids, a real troublemaker. What did this boy learn? When you are angry…HIT!

I wonder if this particular Christian couple ever sinned, then got the same measly measure of mercy back from their own Heavenly Father that they showed to their own children. Why do so many

Christian parents expect a kind of mercy from God they’re unwilling to show their own children?

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy (Matt.5:7).***The flip side of the coin is this: Deny others mercy and God won’t show any to you!

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