Daniel Toberman

Autobio Sketch

01-27-2013

I entered the mind bogglingly complex place we call planet earth on January 9th, 1990.

Just when I began to ponder the infinite improbability of how extremely lucky I am to merely

exist, I thought about how complex everyday life really is. I am a Bipedal primate in the family

hominidae, who fell into existence by chance, but now continues to exist by choice. To make a

good use of the existential world we live in I have decided to take the wheel in my life, this is a

good example of an enigma. My goals are similar to others and mainly concerned with the flow

of tiny green pieces of paper. It’s funny because usually it’s not the green pieces of paper that are

unhappy. Somehow I have ended up in Oxford, Ohio where I plan to hopefully soon end my

collegiate education. I am continuing in this path because of my concern to achieve more green

pieces of paper than other people.

I come from a large family of Italian people who consume copious amounts of spaghetti,

beer, and pizza. I grew up in the charming streets of Fairfield, Ohio. My life has been an

adventure ever since the day I haphazardly fell into existence. If I could explain what formed and

sculpted me into the person I am today it would be through a story that occurred nearly 16 years

ago at the YMCA.

It was around December and I was in my favorite place, the babysitting room at the

YMCA. Our babysitter had taken it upon herself to teach all the young children the different

colors and then perform a singing game. The babysitter said, “Alright everyone go pick out an

item that is your favorite color.” Every girl picked pink or yellow, every boy picked blue or

green. Blue was my favorite and I picked out a blue washcloth from the sink. After we formed

groups the babysitter looked around and her eyes fell upon me. At this point I am compelled to

inform you that I have red-green color blindness, meaning it’s very difficult for me to tell certain

colors apart. Mainly, blue and purple. The babysitter came over to me and said, “Daniel are you

sure you are where you belong?” I looked around the room seeing the groups of girls and the

separate groups of boys. “Yes,” I said. The babysitter responded, “Well Daniel, you have a

purple washcloth.” All the kids around me preceded to take a step back. She then said, “It’s ok,

you can have your very own group. You can be an individual.” I was flustered, but it got worse.

We soon began singing the song and each individual color group waved their item in the air.

“Blue, Green, Pink, Yellow!” There was a pause, the babysitter nodded and I sluggishly waved

my washcloth in the air, “Purple,” I muttered. It was the most alone I ever felt and a good reason

of why you should not be an individual.

Now, back to the Italian family that eats extreme amounts of spaghetti. My mom’s side of

the family spans the entire East Coast. They are centralized in New Jersey and we spend a couple

weeks every summer at Seaside Heights which is coincidently the home of the hit TV show

Jersey Shore. That life best depicts the average day in our families household. I will never forget

the day I was surfing with all my friends and I felt like the New York dialect was a different

language. During that day I told everyone, “The water feels nice today.” Everyone paused for a

moment, then began laughing. Unbeknownst to me, I had never realized that was not the correct

way to enunciate the word. It turns out, the word is actually spelled like this (wurter). This is

similar to the common misconception of “New York” actually being spelled and pronounced

“New Yawk”.

Asides from being an individual I would say life is pretty good in the Toberman family.

We’ve always had a dog, a house, and plenty of spaghetti. I grew up in a family of five and am

proud of how far we have all made it. My two younger sisters are both studying hard in college

and my beautiful mother is gainfully employed. Our dog Mila has been studying hard, mostly in

the sock eating and bird chasing department. All in all, things are set up for us to have a great

year and a couple of tiny green pieced of paper to spare.