Author Carolyn Brent on Aging Parents, Caregiv-ing Issues, Family RelationshipsToday I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 5 of the Vir-tual Blog Tour of author Carolyn A. Brent whose book Why Wait? TheBaby Boomers Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legal-ly for a Parents Death launches on Amazon on Tuesday November15, 2011.Author Carolyn A. Brent, M.B.A. is a former clinical educational man-ager in the pharmaceutical industry. She is an avid activist and advo-cate working with the U.S. Congress for the purpose of creatingchange to protect seniors and veterans from !nancial and medicalabuse. She has appeared on many local and national TV and radioshows, and is a sought-after keynote speaker.Yesterday, Carolyn visited Yvonne Perry at http://deathdyingafter-life.blogspot.com/2011/11/virtual-interview-with-author-carolyn-brent.html, where they talked about impor-tant family questions around support and being prepared.Today, Id like to share with you a recent interview I had with Carolyn when I got to ask her some questionson understanding various di"erent family relationships and what to do/expect.-Kathleen H. Wheeler: With 60% or more of families estimated to be dysfunctional in some way due to di-vorce, blended families, mental illness or some form of addiction, do you feel these dysfunctional familieswill be capable of responding e"ectively to the escalating caregiving challenge of their aging parents?Carolyn A. Brent:Great Question! Contact an elder law attorney for guidance on !ling for guardianship or aPower of Attorney (POA) if your parent is already having trouble making decisions on his or her own behalf. Typi-cally, these documents are !led in family courts. Its best to work with a specialized elder law attorney at this pointso everything can be done in a manner that no one else can challengeor would want to challenge.Also, I wish I would have known about a sibling contracts are customized to cover the unique situation being ex-perienced by the siblings who are party to the agreement. (I could certainly have used this with my siblings whodid not get involved with Dads care until he was incapacitated). A sibling contract takes the pressure o" siblingcaregivers on the back end of caregiving, because things have been discussed and spelled out clearly at thefront end.Kathleen H. Wheeler: What advice can you o"er for family caregivers dealing with a hostile and uncooper-ative parent unwilling to accept their illness, mental decline and obvious need for assistance?Carolyn A. Brent: Contact a medical professional for help!If your parent is at risk of harming themselves or oth-ers, you should call the paramedics, police, or adult protective services. You must seek professional help, becausethis can be a bigger problem than you think. The safety of you and your parents are the most important thing youcan do when you are dealing with a hostile and uncooperative parent. Keep in mind, your parent is not aware oftheir illness but you are.Kathleen H. Wheeler: How would you describe your relationship now with your family, especially your twinsister, after twelve years caring for your father through serious family disagreements, accusations and legalchallenges?Carolyn A. Brent:Best description to your question is this! There isnt a relationship with my twin or the otherfamily members that attracted me for the Pot of Gold that simply did not exist.However, I have forgiven my twin and family. While going through the healing process and looking back andquestioning what helped? Why? And for what purpose? I learned about the Kbler-Ross model, commonly knownas The Five Stages of Grief: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance. Once I clearly understood thismodel, it helped me to realize that my family members and I were all at di"erent stages in the grieving of our dadand his illness. Because I was deeply involved hands on with my dad, I look back and can now see how we allcould have avoided such a tragic end. Overtime, I have reached the Acceptance stage. And, I mindfully avoid anytriggers that can throw me back to the Denial Anger Bargainingor Depression stage.-I hope you enjoyed this interview with Carolyn A. Brent and that youll check out her book Why Wait? TheBaby Boomers Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parents Death athttp://www.babyboomersguide.org/book-launch/pre-launch.htmlThanks for reading! As usual, please feel free to share your comments and thoughts below. I love readingyour feedback.AND be sure to follow Carolyn tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Dr.Caron Goode,who will be interviewing Carolyn on her personal story and on communicating on a couple of touchy sub-jects. To visit that stop on the tour, go to either http://heartwiseparent.com/interview-with-carolyn-brent/or http://academyforcoachingparents.com/blog/acpi/interview-with-carolyn-brent/Tags:aging parents caregiving family relationshipsShare this:ShareThis entry was posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Books, Caregiving, Dementia, Family Relationships, Relation-ships and tagged aging, aging parents, author, book, caregiving, carolyn a. brent, carolyn brent, family rela-tionships, parents, virtual blog tour, why wait? on November 5, 2011 [http://www.authorkathleenhwheeler.-!com/2011/11/05/carolyn-brent-aging-parents-caregiving-issues-family-relationships/] .5 thoughts on Author Carolyn Brent on Aging Parents, Caregiving Issues, FamilyRelationshipsPingback: Brought to My Senses | Baby Boomers Guide | End of Life Issues | Carolyn A Brent MBAI really liked learning some new information. I think the sibling contract is something sensible to be consid-ered. To often sibling issues of care taking can break a family apart when they most need to work together.Jean FerratierNovember 7, 2011 at 1:59 pmTotally agree, Jean, and think the sibling clause is a great idea if siblings can agree to it early on within acaregiving scenario.Kathleen H. WheelerNovember 7, 2011 at 7:06 pmPost authorGreat questions Kathryn! I really enjoyed this interview with Carolyn. Im looking forward to reading herbook and I encourage everyone to start this important conversation with their own parents.Come visit my blog on day 9 and Id love it if youd leave a comment!All the best,JoyceJoyce JoneschietNovember 7, 2011 at 5:06 pmThanks, Joyce!Kathleen H. WheelerNovember 7, 2011 at 7:05 pmPost author