august q3 2017 going beyond 3huvrqdo %xvlqhvv … · 2019. 10. 11. · august q3 2017 ^to create an...

AUGUST Q3 2017

“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 1

GOING BEYOND

IN THIS ISSUE…

CONTRIBUTING COACH: UTTARA PATTANAIK SHIFTING PERSPECTIVES It was a sunny winter morning. I was on my way to meet Amit, my coach friend at Cyberhub Starbucks. As usual there was a huge jam at the turn below the bridge approaching Cyberhub. I had no option but to be patient. The cars were hardly moving. I don't like being late. I was looking at my watch restlessly…

CONTRIBUTING COACH: PARAS GOYAL THE 3 BEST FRIENDS OF A COACH To all my fellow coaches, I am sure there are some days in your life which you can never forget, and your first paid coaching session is one of them. When you start your coaching journey you are a bit anxious, nervous and feel the pressure of your own expectations. Since it is your first session, you want to set the right benchmark of success for yourself…

FROM THE PRESIDENT’S DESK

GUEST COLUMN

CONTRIBUTING COACH

CHAPTER UPDATES

GUEST COLUMN

COACHING, NLP AND THE IMPORTANCE OF BENCHMARKING COL. SUDIP MUKERJEE To achieve personal fulfilment and organizational effectiveness, people and teams need to change existing behaviors and take on new ones – such as greater flexibility, ability to deal with conflict and to renew creativity. And to do that, Individuals and teams need not only to see and feel the desire to change, they need to know how to change…

AUGUST Q3, 2017


FROM THE PRESIDENT’S DESK

Best Wishes for A Happy Festival Season!! On our journey “To create an inclusive coaching community, enabling transformation of stakeholders through awareness and action”, the Summer of 2017 saw all of us giving our push to The Coaching Flywheel in India. We are gathering Momentum in Creating Awareness and Immediacy about “Coaching as the Most Effective Methodology for People Development”, through Collective Action in Sharing. • Sharing Benefits through ‘Demystifying Coaching’ and Demo Sessions that have been spread across multiple organizations • Sharing Experiences through Probono Coaching with ‘Not for Profit’ organizations, Peer Coaching, Panel Discussions • Sharing Information through consistent Learning Leap Webinars, Coach Connect Opportunities and Writeups/Articles in our newsletter ‘Going Beyond’

Come September and we take another Leap by collaborating with Mindful Leadership India for a two-day Mindful Leadership Summit on 28th and 29th September:

- From Conscious Leaders to Mindful Leaders: Co-Creating a Paradigm Shift in Leadership for the 21st century

- Mindful Leadership: The Coaching Edge…A Panel Discussion

We invite you to participate enthusiastically in this event, for which details and Special Offers have been shared with you …Come share the Experience!!

Nowhere did I see the Splendor That I saw in the cave of my heart, Many times, I dashed my head in the mosque Many times, in the temple of idols Him I sought. ~ Bahadur Shah Zafar Warm Regards, JPS

AUGUST Q3, 2017


GUEST COLUMN

COACHING, NLP AND THE IMPORTANCE OF BENCHMARKING

By Col. Sudip Mukerjee

General

To achieve personal fulfilment and

organizational effectiveness, people and teams

need to change existing behaviors and take on

new ones – such as greater flexibility, ability to

deal with conflict and to renew creativity. And to

do that, Individuals and teams need not only to

see and feel the desire to change, they need to

know how to change.

Coaching is a collaborative process of facilitating

a client’s ability to self- direct learning and

growth, as evidenced by sustained changes in

self- understanding, self-concept and behavior.

Coaching due to its potential to change people

and organizations, is thus a tool to ensure

performance and greater number of

corporations and individuals each day are tilting

towards getting Executive and Life Coaches to

help them make the shift from good to great.

Consultants give expert advice and mentors

guide people who are new to a field or

experience; trainers instruct in the learning of a

new skill or competence and counsellors heal a

hurt, wound or trauma. In these helping

modalities, the client needs something added or

fixed; coaching, by contrast, mobilizes the

client’s inner resources for enhancing

performance or personal and career

development. So, coaching is of growing

interest in the fields of human resource

development, executive development,

leadership, career and personal development

and health promotion. It is an emerging cross-

disciplinary occupation that aims to enhance

well-being and performance, individual and

organizational development.

Traditional notions of learning – to define

outcomes and then design content and

processes to get there – no longer work with

personal, leadership and organizational

development. Meaningful learning occurs when

human resource professionals step back and

make space for people to make sense of their

own experience.

Out of our neurology (nervous system, brain

stem, cerebral cortex and so on) arise our

unique human powers of symbolization and

language; we live in language and language

constructions because that is how we make

sense of the world. Words express thoughts,

beliefs, understandings, mental maps; changing

the words we use can change minds and

meanings. And a person trained can use

language of the coachee to find out the core

issues and hence address them quickly to

empower him/her.

Why people approach Coaches

Consider, if you will, the issues people bring to

coaching: they might be feeling fear, frustration

or lack of confidence about their work; they may

be searching for more fulfilment or need to

understand their own or their colleagues’

motivations and goals. They may want to be

more innovative and influential, resolve

AUGUST Q3, 2017


conflicts, manage time beer or shape their own

and others’ performance. Maybe they are in a

bind about their relationship, need to set

priorities and get more balance in their lives, or

align business goals with personal goals. People

seek coaches who listen carefully and help them

understand what they need to think and do to

make the desired changes. But as well as

knowing what they need to do, clients need to

know how. It is the focus on how people make

changes that is the essence of Coaching through

NLP.

NLP and Coaching

Whether you know little or lots about NLP, you

have probably heard that NLP is based on

Richard Bandler and John Grinder’s

understanding that people internally code their

experience of the world and of their life, first

neurologically and then through language.

When Bandler and Grinder first started to study

people’s subjective experience – by observing,

listening, asking, eliciting and experimenting –

they found that the meaning a person made

related to the specific sequence (as well as

intensity) of representational systems the

person used to process information coming in

through their visual, auditory, kinesthetic,

olfactory and gustatory senses.

Representational system sequences were called

strategies. That is what is meant by the structure

or patterning of experience. By observing,

listening, asking, eliciting and experimenting –

modelling – they also discovered that people

can change their feeling responses by changing

the sequence and intensity of the sensory

information. Then they explored how: they

asked how changing the qualities of the

representations (called ‘sub modality shifts’) can

be utilized to make permanent change, and by

observing, listening, asking, eliciting and

experimenting Bandler and Grinder came up

with a number of change patterns. They

understood that the structure of language and

experience could be modelled in terms of

sequences of sensory experience. By accurately

mapping these sequences a change agent has

the keys to modifying unwanted or behaviors

which were no longer useful.

The NLP model of precision questioning, the

Meta Model, is based on modelling of the

language of expert therapists that challenges

and clarifies deletions, distortions and

generalizations in the clients’ verbal

representation of their experience. This

reconnects the client with their deeper,

unconscious experience. Using Meta-model

questions, coaches enable clients to see and

choose how they speak, think, feel and act. For

example, if the client uses the noun form of a

verb, it is called a Nominalization and implies

that the client is stuck in that state and unable

to move on.

NLP practices reflect clear principles of mind–

body–emotion interaction and to be effective

they all need be all used. The magic of NLP is the

speed and ease with which the NLP coach can

calibrate patterns in the client’s thinking,

emoting, speaking and acting and then respond

to the client’s experience using distinctive

linguistic and state management skills, among

others.

Need for Benchmarking

If coaches are to be effective change agents, it is

critical that they have two things: first, a clear

and comprehensive understanding about

change as a process and second, the ability to

translate that knowledge into practical and

effective change skills. Unfortunately, claiming

AUGUST Q3, 2017


the ability to coach – or having a coaching

certificate from one of the many Institutes that

have sprung up in the recent years – is not the

same as having the ability.

The need of the hour thus is benchmarking. To

measure the actual competency of someone

who claims to have the coaching skills we need

to identify ‘best practice’ and to specify its

critical elements. Benchmarking is used to close

the gap between what we are currently doing

and becoming the best-in- a-class. In

benchmarking coaching skills, we break them

down into the key behavioral components

which we can see, hear and feel. Then we plot a

developmental pathway – in other words,

identify a scale of performance – for that skill,

from simple to complex to expert.

If this can be done by a senior team of qualified

coaches, the Coaching community will benefit

immensely and clients would also choose who

they want based on their requirements and can

be more realistic as to what they can get out of

a coaching intervention – leading to better client

satisfaction and bonhomie amongst coaches.

About the Author

Col. Sudip Mukerjee

NLP Trainer and Reiki Master with experience as an army officer in active

operations, logistics and training for more than 21 years (including a tenure with

the United Nations). He counsels clients online on emotional and psychological

issues. Col. Sudip is the proprietor of Anchor NLP. His corporate experience

includes his tenure of being a Vice President of an airline.

AUGUST Q3 2017


CONTRIBUTING COACH

SHIFTING PERSPECTIVES

By Uttara Pattanaik, Ph.D. ACC (ICF)

It was a sunny winter morning. I was on my way

to meet Amit, my coach friend at Cyberhub

Starbucks. As usual there was a huge jam at the

turn below the bridge approaching Cyberhub. I

had no option but to be patient. The cars were

hardly moving. I don't like being late. I was

looking at my watch restlessly.

Suddenly, the white Polo right in front of me

stopped and two big built men came out of the

car and started saying something with angry

animated gestures. I had to stop as there was no

space to move forward. I couldn't understand

why they were standing on both sides of my car

and banging on the windows. They looked

furious and for a moment I felt as if they would

break into my car if I didn’t come out. I looked

around helplessly. Not a single car stopped to

my rescue. Everyone seemed to be in a real

hurry. The two guys were shouting and abusing

me so loudly that I could hear it with my

windows closed. I thought they were accusing

me of hitting their car. I didn't know what to do.

I could see three policemen on the other side of

the road, I desperately wanted their help to

prove that I was innocent. The two guys were

continuously banging on my car, clicking

pictures from all directions and asking me to

come out. Gathering all my courage I opened my

window and softly said “Sir, what are you saying,

my car hasn't even touched your car, there is not

even a scratch!” Now they became even furious

and started arguing and abusing me at the top

of their voice. I tried waving at the policemen

desperately expecting some justice, but they

pretended to be busy. I had never felt so

helpless, insulted and scared in last 20 years of

my stay in Delhi/NCR region. I tried hard to

pacify them and politely asked, “What do you

want?”. “You have to fix our car or pay

Rs.10000”, the guys said in crude Hindi. I just

wanted to run away from that place. So, I said,

OK, I don't have the money right now, but I will

pay you. After a very ugly, one-sided dialogue

from them, they left taking my contact details

AUGUST Q3, 2017


and photographs, threatening me not to play

any game.

I was relieved to be out of the sight of the two

guys. I somehow finished my meeting, and other

tasks and returned home quite shaken up. My

confidence was badly shattered and for the first

time in many years, I was feeling scared. Sharp

at 6 pm, a call came. I recognized the voice, this

was the call for money. He wanted me to come

to Dwarka to deliver the cash. I said, I won't be

able to come but will transfer the money and

requested him to send his bank details. He didn't

agree...the same angry tone, same abuses, same

dirty language! He also threatened to reach my

house! I tried to calm myself and said, “Don't

worry, you will get the money in 24 hours, just

send me the bank details”. After 7-8 threatening

communication exchange from their side, one of

them agreed and started sending the bank

details. I could figure they have never done a

bank transfer and hence do not know what

exactly to send.

That evening there were several phone calls,

and communication exchanges gathering

information that is needed to add him as a

payee. I was trying very hard not to express how

scared, helpless and frustrated I was feeling, not

to the guys, not to anybody else. However, I

could not help but notice the persistence of this

guy to follow-up for money. The last piece of

information was shared the next morning, the

address of a fire station. I was sure it was a fake

address.

I had an early meeting that day! As I came out of

that meeting, I noticed that there were 11

missed calls from the guy. I called back. He was

very aggressive and asked about money. I

politely said that he had to send the address

documented in the bank and not the fire station

address. He got even more violent and said,

“That is the correct address, I am a fireman". I

forgot everything for a moment and felt as if I

was talking to a celebrity!! Fireman? Really? In

my childhood, I always thought of firemen as

brave, strong and selfless! I smiled and like a

child, said “Oh! You are a fireman? That's why

you are so persistent. You must be using this

persistence to save people! You must be an

amazing fireman! I am so happy to speak to you.”

“Don’t try to be very cunning, all these tricks are

not going to work with me. I will not spare you!

Just because you are a lady, I am asking you for

money, had you been a man, I would have killed

you” he said. I did not expect this reaction but

somehow, I gathered myself and said, “And if

you killed the man, would your car be fixed?”

“That is none of your business. If someone

messes with me, he will get a lesson,” said the

fireman.

I don't know why I said the next few sentences,

but I felt a compulsion from inside to make this

request, so this what I said, “Don't worry, you

will get the money by tomorrow morning. But I

have a request, please do not be so angry and

abuse or hit anybody on the road. Both you and

I know that my car did not touch yours. Many

people lose their lives every year due to road

rage. You are a fireman, you save lives, you are

not supposed to take a life. You have to make

this promise to me”. There was a long pause.

Then he said, “I love my car. I have bought it with

my hard-earned money. I will not spare anybody

who touches it. I will just kill him”. This time

however his tone was different, harsh and

indifferent, but not that angry. I sensed some

shifting of perspective and said, “think about it!

Would you like your son to remember you as a

kind, brave, forgiving man or you would like him

to remember you as an angry, strong, brave man

who killed people if things did not happen his

AUGUST Q3, 2017


way? Anyway...you will get your money by

tomorrow morning...my promise”.

I hung up the phone, started the car and

instantly regretted having this conversation with

a stranger. I had definitely crossed the line. I

was upset with myself…why do I sometime say

things that I am not supposed to? I was tangled

in my own thoughts and a little irritated with

myself. I must have driven 700-800 meters

when the phone rang again. It was the fireman

again. I pulled the car to the side and thought,

now what.

“Madam, can I speak to you for a few minutes?

I will just take 5 minutes” the fireman said. This

time it was a completely different tone, as if he

was a different person altogether! Completely

zapped, I said, “what now?”

He started, “Madam, I don't need this money.

Please don't transfer this money. If you pay, I will

not be able face myself. We are not bad people.

I am a peaceful person, but we have been

brought up differently. Our father, uncle,

neighbors have taught us to be aggressive, to

stand up for our rights. We have been taught to

extract money every time you get an

opportunity, so we are used to behaving that

way. This is our way of being a man and of

showing power, but by talking about my son,

you opened my eyes. I want him to remember

me with respect, not with disgust. I do not want

him to be like me. I want him to be like you. We

misbehaved with you so much, insulted you, but

not a single time you raised your voice against

us, you could have gone to the police, gotten us

arrested, abused us, called people but you

talked to us with respect, you received my

phone call, you even called me back. I want my

son to be like you. I am sorry madam. I will

remember what you said. I will never get angry

and not let anybody get angry around me. I will

stop road rage...I will...madam...trust me. I have

one request...please do not delete my number.

Please talk to me sometime...so that I can

become a better person and teach others to be

better. Thank you, Madam, thank you!”

He was crying as he was talking to me….

gathering himself to complete his sentences.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks…. I couldn't

say anything. It reinforced my faith in the power

of positive and how each one of us has this

tremendous power to create a ripple effect in

this world. I must have been lost in my thoughts

for a moment. I came back to the conversation

when the fireman said, “Madam, are you there?

Please don't delete my number, OK? I will not

disturb you much!”

“I will not delete your number. You can call any

time” I said with a smile.

About the Author:

By Uttara Pattanaik, Ph.D. ACC (ICF)

Uttara is an accomplished industry leader and a certified Executive Coach with

over 18 years’ experience in various senior leadership positions at a national and

international levels with leading companies in Life Sciences and Healthcare

industries

AUGUST Q3, 2017


THE THREE BEST FRIENDS OF A COACH!

By Paras Goyal

It may take some time to find them, but once

you meet them, they will strengthen your

coaching journey!

To all my fellow coaches, I am sure there are

some days in your life which you can never

forget, and your first paid coaching session is

one of them. When you start your coaching

journey you are a bit anxious, nervous and feel

the pressure of your own expectations. Since it

is your first session, you want to set the right

benchmark of success for yourself.

I clearly remember the day when I had my very

first coaching session. Before I landed into the

session, I revised all the coaching tools that I had

learned during my training program. Well, I even

mugged up all the so called 'powerful

questions'. And finally, with great faith and

confidence, I jumped into my first coaching

session. Armed with many coaching weapons

(processes, tools and questions), I was

desperate to shoot all these to my poor client. I

did that and was feeling great!

However, after making a great start of 'rapport

building', very soon I realized something was not

working. My client was giving me some weird

looks and every cell of his face was quizzing me

"Have you gone mad? Why are you asking so

many stupid questions? Is this an interrogation

session?" Though, I understood his body

language, I ignored it with the hope that

gradually the 'coaching process' would take care,

and at the end he would experience 'deep self-

discovery'. However, after 5 minutes, finally,

when he showed a clear sign, which no coach

could ignore, I quickly wrapped up the session.

Do you want to know that sign? He started to

yawn! And it was good enough to convey –

please shut up!

Feeling disappointed, dejected, demotivated, I

called up my coaching mentor to check what

went wrong? And the first question he asked

was, "what went well?” “Nothing", I said.

Understanding my state of mind, he asked, "Can

you set aside all the tools and processes, which

you have learned, for some time, and then just

go as ‘yourself’? He explained, just try to listen

to him, be connected to yourself, and get

comfortable with the silence. And then ask

simple questions, which come to you. After this

guidance, I saw things from a different

perspective and decided to go on with it.

Let me tell you, putting myself in a 'non-

judgement' position was the biggest hurdle I

overcame. It took a lot of effort 'to be myself' to

be an effective coach. It worked wonderfully

during my future sessions and after my 60th

session, when I was coaching a high performing

leader in a leading consulting firm, I found

myself holding up my coaching ground firmly by

focusing on breathing, getting comfortable with

silences, landing into a listening position and

asking few yet powerful questions. I could see a

spark in her eyes, shine on her face, and a sense

AUGUST Q3, 2017


of clarity in achieving her goal. The session went

very well and the feedback I got from that

session was extraordinarily positive – much

beyond what I had expected.

That day I got three amazing friends:

1. Nose, to breathe, which has the power to overcome my anxiety and connecting ME with myself.

2. Ears, which have the power to listen and connect with my client strongly.

3. Silence, which has the power to make us become aware and gain access to universal wisdom.

This time when I called my mentor, I was oozing

with excitement and happiness! There was an

extraordinary feeling of satisfaction and

fulfilment. I got the basics right and now playing

with coaching tools is just coming intuitively.

Now, I make sure I meet all my best friends

before I go for a coaching session!

About the Author

Paras Goyal, Executive Leadership Coach, DTM

Paras is a certified leadership coach, and has expansive experience in leadership

development, relationship based client servicing, and mentoring. Over the last 14

years, he has worked in leadership roles at BCG, Mckinsey and Evalueserve.

Currently, he is an internal coach for BCG APAC region. He also co-leads a social

development initiative ‘iOwn’.

AUGUST Q3, 2017


CHAPTER UPDATES

Upcoming Events

Date Time Topic Speaker

26th August 11 am to 1 pm Working with Emotional States, Creating Awareness & Learning Actions

Anil Dagia, PCC

9th September 11 am to 1 pm Process of Change through a Gestalt Perspective

Dr. Yaron Ziv

28th – 29th September 9 am to 6 pm The Mindfulness Summit in collaboration with ICF Delhi NCR Chapter

Various

We invite you to Join us at MINDFUL LEADERSHIP SUMMIT INDIA, 2017, as we showcase "Mindfulness in

Coaching" through our Eclectic Panel!

We have partnered with Mindful Leadership India, and are keen to start a movement of Mindful

Leadership within the Coaches community too, where more and more coaches, come in touch with

their true, authentic self and implement the goodness of their personal contemplative experiences, in

AUGUST Q3, 2017


their Coaching Practice

With more than 20 International and Indian speakers, including Visionaries, Authors, Masters and

Leaders from different sectors, we commenced on to a transformative journey over the 2 days. Attended

by delegate teams from organizations like Accenture, Amdocs, Airtel, Genpact. Tata Power, ONGC, NTPC,

Deloitte. Bharat Petroleum and many others. The event was wonderfully received and was rated very

high by the participants.

Look forward to your nominations and participation

We are very pleased to share a special ICF Partner Discount, especially for our

members and associates. Use the Discount Coupon code ICF3000 to avail a discount

of Rs. 3000!

To register, visit http://mindfulleadershipindia.com/ticket.html

http://mindfulleadershipindia.com/ticket.html

AUGUST Q3, 2017


AUGUST Q3, 2017


June 2017

Coach Connect-Personal Branding and Inspirational Storytelling for Coaches by Dr. Amit

Nagpal

The session addressed why coaches need a strong personal brand, brand building paradoxes, social

media and perception management.

Learning Leap - Levels of Engagement in the Coaching Process

by Leon VanderPol

In this webinar, Leon VanderPol, shared a simple yet effective framework

for understanding levels of engagement in the coaching process. No

matter what coaching arena you work in, if you are ready to move beyond

standard, transactional approaches and into the deeper realm, this

framework will show you the way.

AUGUST Q3, 2017


July 2017

Coach Connect: Coaching Beyond Barriers of Language by Col. Sudip

Mukerjee

This session by NLP expert Col. Sudip Mukerjee focused on:

• Introduction to the Meta Model • NLP Questioning Technique and how it works • NLP Communication Technique and how to uncover primary modality of the client • Understanding where the client is stuck through language • Deep structure and surface structure of language • Know what words not to use in a coaching session • Know how to use questions to change the client’s perspective

Learning Leap: Perspectives of Global organizations towards Coaching with Jean-

Francois Cousin

The webinar delved on

• How coaching creates business value through engagement?

• How Ideation and execution enhance leaders’ impact?

• Coaching and engagement

• Strong coaching cultures are correlated with stronger financial

performance

• Data on Coaching ROI

• The importance of Silence and facilitative listening

• How coaching explores different ‘Levels of thinking’

• How to craft powerful questions

• The path from self-awareness to productive relationships

AUGUST Q3, 2017


August 2017

Learning Leap – Coaching with Compassion with Prof. Richard Boyatzis

The webinar delved into:

• Understanding the psycho-physiological role of the Positive Emotional Attractor and the Negative Emotional Attractor in motivating change or encouraging the status quo regression.

• Perceiving how coaching with compassion is effective in helping people change in sustainable ways, but coaching for compliance is not. And why it is crucial to the sustainability of the leader

• The neural activations involved in these two forms of coaching and why one prepares a person to consider change and learning and the other closes their minds

• How to coach others to develop EI, resonant leadership, and to sustainably change.

AUGUST Q3, 2017


Would you like to join our 78-member strong community of coaches to network,

learn, and be an active contributor towards your progress as a coach via peer coaching,

pro bono coaching, and coaching awareness sessions delivered by our member coaches

in various corporates and educational institutes? Write to our Director-Membership

Major Avtar Singh at [email protected] to know more.

Be a Contributing Coach by sending in your original, 700-1000 word, unpublished

coaching related blogs, articles and book reviews to Manbir Kaur, our Director-Education

at [email protected]. Remember to share a high-resolution picture and

a couple of lines about yourself, along with the contribution.

Share your knowledge We hold a Learning Leap event (webinar) and a Coach Connect (face to face) each month

for our member coaches. If you’re interested in speaking at one of our events, please

write to [email protected] expressing your interest and details of the

topic.

This issue of Going Beyond has been edited for ICF Delhi NCR Chapter by Aditi Malhotra,

our Director-Communication & Marketing. To discuss marketing your events/workshops

and collaborating with ICF Delhi NCR Chapter, you can write to her at

[email protected]

mailto:[email protected]




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