atifkayanihbd6771.e1 exercise1

Kayani, Atif Exercie 1 1

Exercise 1

by

Atif Hameed Kayani

HBD 6771.E1

January 19, 2011


1. Conflict involves an expressed struggle. Discuss two negative ways one can express a

struggle and two positive ways one can express a struggle.

Communication plays an important role to resolve conflicts and expressed struggles.

With an effective communication one can resolve conflict or a bad communications can

make conflicts worst than ever (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

Negative ways of expressing struggle

a) The negative way one can express struggle can be between friends when they both are in

discussion about politics suddenly one of them say “Please stop it you do not have any

idea about politics stay away from this type of discussion” In this case one person is

showing superiority than other which can arise a conflict between both parties.

b) Also there might be a conflict between brother and sister and they said to each other

“You are a jerk I do not want to talk to you anymore”. This type of struggle shows

avoidance from both parties.

Positive ways of expressing struggle

a) Husband and wife are in conflict of buying a house. Wife wants a bigger house where as

husband said smaller house will be good for us. Now they are under conflict;

Wife: I wanted to buy a bigger house because my friend Susan just bought a big house.

Husband: O yes we can buy a bigger house but we need money for that. And besides that

we are only two people for now, so I do not think so it is a good idea to waste money in

buying a big house.

Wife: O yes you are right; I guess we can manage better in a small two bedroom house

rather than buy a big one.


So the conflict is resolved between husband and wife by having small healthy

conversation.

a) Son and mother are under a conflict about the son’s graduation party:

Son: Mom I wanted to call all my friends and want to give them a big party for my

graduation and I need $1000 to spend for the party.

Mother: O it is great that you are giving party for your graduation but I cannot afford

that much money.

Son: I already told my friends that I will give them huge party.

Mother: Hmmm… Let’s do it like that I will be out of town this weekend so you can

call your friend at home and I will do the cooking arrangements before I go. You can

have fun at home.

Son: that is so great thank you.

It is very good to listen to other parties views before make a final decision.

2. What role do you believe communication has in conflict?

A huge number of conflicts arise because of the way of our communication with others.

Unhealthy communication can help in creating conflict even in the situation where there is no

real conflict issue or disagreement about an actual issue. Poor communications also causes hurt

other person feelings, anger, frustration and breaking of relationships (A lot of the conflict in

our…, n.d.).

Communication is considered as the main ingredient in all interpersonal conflict.

Communication and conflict can be related in ways such as: Communication style often create


conflict. Communication style reflects conflict. Communication can bring up effective and

defective management of conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

3. What role does interdependence play in conflict?

Interdependence plays major role in any type of conflict. As Braiker and Kelly said that if people

are not dependent on each other and has no special interest in what other person do there would

be no conflict. Interdependence also is important in conflict because each person choice affects

other person which helps in rising of a conflict. Schelling defines strategic conflict as a theory of

incomplete antagonism. It means that parties who are engage in strategic conflict are not fully

opposing others and they have mutual interests; even though the interest is in keeping the

conflict going on. Without open to the other party the person still think that how he can be more

benefitted with the conflict? These decisions are much more difficult when parties are not

working in a straight cause-effect manner but making a series of interdependent decisions

(Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Bateson presents an ecological view of patterns in a relationship which

means in a true conflict parties stuck with each other. Neither of the party in a conflict makes a

decision which is totally different than others. Rather the party makes a decision which affects

the other conflict participants. Many of the times parties engaged in mutual interdependence with

or without their interest. Interdependent units do not choose to be interdependent, but there might

be some other reason which makes the conflict interdependent. For example: colleagues in an

office got in conflict over receiving calls and speak with customers. One person said this is none

of your business but the other person said you cannot separate us from this because when your

team will not be available my team will take care of the customer service (Wilmot, Hocker,

2010).


4. Conflict involves perceived incompatible goals. How do these goals work? Why is the

word “perceived” emphasized?

Perceived incompatible goals work as person wants same thing or different things. The conflict

parties might be looking for same thing such as promotion in a company, one scholarship

available for everyone or the attention of the parents. The people who have same goals might be

struggling in order to achieve the required goals. In short both parties see their goals as

incompatible because they want the same thing to achieve (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

On the other hand the goals of the person might be different than other person for

example friend who wanted to eat in different restaurants might have conflict because of

difference of opinions. We can also put it as roommates who wanted to move out of the dorms

into apartments. They can also come under conflict as one person wants to move to expensive

apartments and other person wants to move to cheaper apartments because of low income. But

people have different goals can settle down at some middle place by having a mutual agreement

between each other. Many of the times the goals seems to be different but the relational struggle

helps them to decide. It does not matter if the person sees the goals as different or similar the

perceived incompatible goals are considered as major part of any conflict (Wilmot, Hocker,

2010).

The word perceived is emphasized because there is a probability or imagination involved

in all that will happen. There is not one single rule defined that if you will have same or

difference of opinions then the specific thing will happen. The parties can encounter things

which they even do not imagine or cannot think of. The perception is just a probability that if

you do have conflicts then it can cause either good or bad (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).


5. What is a resource? Describe two examples of resources in the workplace and two

examples of resources in the home.

According to Miller and Steinberg resource can be defined as: Any positively perceived

physical, economic and social consequence. The resources can be real or perceived as real by the

person (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

Examples of Resource in Work place:

a) when person feels that the other person always do work with his or her own way without

accepting other people opinions. The person think about other person as he or she had

more power than him or her and the person is always being put down.

b) When person think that he or she will not cover the shift of the other person, because the

person always used him or her and pay attention whenever he or she needs a favor. The

person also feels that the other person is taking advantage out of him or her (Wilmot,

Hocker, 2010).

Examples of Resource in Home:

a) When the person feel as unimportant in home and just a machine of making money and

people in the home knows him or her because he or she brings money to the home. The

person also doesn’t want to be feeling like a looser or fool.

b) When person feels like to be humiliated at home and he or she thinks that his or her

partner is sarcastic and the person feels like to beer sarcasm anymore and the only option

he or she has is to leave the home (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

6. In a couple of paragraphs, discuss the concept of interference.

Person who are interdependent, have incompatible goals, and want the same scarce

resource might still not be able to fulfill the conditions for conflict. Interference is an important


part with the help of which one can be able to meet the conditions for conflict. The presence of

another person interferes with desired actions can help in strengthen of a conflict. Conflict is

always related to blocking and the person who does the blocking is perceived as the problem

(Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

For a conflict to happen there must be some sort of interference. A person feel like having

conflict when he or she feels like someone is interfering in his or her personal business. For

example; conflict may arise between employer and an employee when employee wants a leave

and employer do not have any other person to cover and by interfering by asking questions what

you will do during the leave (Rinehart, n.d.)?

7. Create a scenario that depicts a negative escalatory conflict spiral.

David is an owner of A1 grocery Store having two employees Andrew and Adan. Andrew

usually works at the front and main job is to take care of the customers and check out

them. While Adan mostly work on the back and main duties includes filling up shelves

and clean the store. David is not happy with Adan as he does not perform his duty well

and leave the shelves empty most of the times and make store messy. David starts

complaining about Adan’s work.

a) David Says to Adan, “I want you to fill up the shelves properly and clean the store on

daily basis”.

b) Adan says “I will do it tonight”. (Ignore David and start doing something.)

c) David became very upset after the conversation and calls to Adan’s friend and asks “Why

your friend is so lazy and messy? Did he do something at home or just sleep?”

d) When Adan reach home at night after work he knew about the call came to his friend

which makes him really crazy. Adan decided that he will take revenge from his Boss for


what he has done to him. So next day Adan acted crazy by leaving the shelves empty and

store messier.

e) David came next day and became very angry at Adan’s behavior and he put a big poster

in a store “My store has the most lazy and crazy employee of the world”.

f) Adan read the poster and stunned at the reaction of David and start selling goods under

cost price and sometimes free to his close friends came to the store.

g) Next day David come to the store and heard from the customers that Adan is selling good

under cost and giving free stuff. He immediately call to Adan and said “That is it; do not

come to store in the afternoon I am going to hire another person”.

8. What words do you typically associate with the word “conflict”? What emotions are

generally coupled with the concept of conflict?

The words which I will associate with conflict would be fight, discussions, and schedule

meetings, listening and speaking, struggle, frustration, even hopelessness. The emotions

which would be coupled with the concept of conflict are compromise, anger, harshness,

and violence.

9. In a paragraph, describe what your family of origin taught you about conflict and

how this has affected your approach to conflict.

My family of origin taught me to handle conflict positively and know the scenario and actual

matter before further go ahead into the discussion. Also it teach me to be aggressive where it is

being needed and at the first place try to avoid conflict by direct conversation with the other

party and try to resolve conflicts individually without putting 3rd party into it. Because there are

more chance that if you involve 3rd party to resolve conflicts your relationship will became bad

with the person you are under conflict. Showing anger during the conflict make the situation


worst which could cost both parties a lot so avoid anger during the conflict and try to solve

problems in smooth and soft atmosphere.

I think I learned a lot with what my family origin has taught me and it help me a lot in

resolving many conflicts without having any mishap. I think resolving conflicts in a positive

way helps both party and one can have a long lasting relationship with his or her conflict

partner by showing positive attitude during conflicts.

10. Describe five negative metaphors associated with conflict and discuss what you

would expect from a person who views conflict accordingly.

Five negative metaphors associated with the conflict are as follows:

Win-Lose Metaphors:

Win-Lose metaphor suggests that the result is predetermined with very little possibility that it

will come with positive conflict management. The conflicts which are examined by this way are

usually called distributive conflicts. In this type of conflicts usually one party wins and other

loses. Also the resources are distributed unevenly among all the participants. A person brings

emotions in to the conflicts because he or she thinks that they are losing more than gaining


Conflict is a Struggle

Conflict can also be defined as a struggle. There might be a possibility that complexity and

uncertainty of conflict will lead to emotions such as frustration, struggle and hopelessness. By

putting a conflict with this type of metaphor emphasizes that how stressful it is and that might be

the efforts one will put into conflict go worthless (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/fact_finding_limits/


Violence is Animal Behaviors

Conflict also can be defines as a zoo where people put the label the other parties as stubborn

group. The main characteristic of this metaphor which makes it different than others is that it is

exclusive application to parties other than the one using it. In this type of metaphor people think

that other parties are less-than-human and inferior. Thus these types of things create an

atmosphere where meaningful conversation cannot be able to take place with mutual

understanding and appreciation (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

Conflict is a Communication Breakdown

It is one of the most famous names of the conflict. According to McCorkle and Mills this break

down is a one way communication in which people talk with the walls or argue with someone

from another planet. This breakdown can be fixed but most of times this is not fixed accurately.

Also many time people communicate clearly in order to find out that they are in an intractable

conflict or not. Clear communication helps a lot in improving a process of conflict management,

but we cannot assume that clear communication will resolve conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

Conflict is a Mess

There is another image of the conflict which is being understood as a mess or garbage. Mess

is usually difficult to be managed and the small mess can turn into a bigger one too. A messy

conflict normally means that a mess which contains emotional attachments and is very personal.

This type of metaphor brings down the creativity at very low level and imaging the conflict as it

is very difficult to resolve. Conflict can be resolved easily and cleanly by putting the emotions

and personal feelings behind the door of discussion room (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/dehumanization/


In my opinion the person who sees the conflict as negative metaphors is very un-creative.

That person also wants to be get hold of everything and do not want to give others anything. He

wants to win everything. Also he might be degraded other people and do not care about other

people feelings.

11. In one paragraph each; describe three positive metaphors dealing with conflict.

Conflict is a Tide

Conflict and tides are considered similar in a way that both are repetitive, powerful, and

inescapable. Both conflict and tide worked to advantage but not disadvantage. It is arguable that

the patterns of conflict have clear perceptions as it appears to be. It is very important for the

participants to understand the patterns because if they will understand the pattern it might feel

less threatening. By looking at the patterns of conflicts also helps reduce the fear of uncertainty,

especially in the context of intractable conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

Conflict is a Dance

We can see a positive image of conflict in the form of a dance. According to Lindberg in the

dance participants learn his such as; how close and how far to move, slowing down and speeding

up during the dance, main contact with partners and how to end it. The main idea of dancing with

partners is to develop something beautiful, graceful, and inspiring that depends on each person’s

skill, training, and individual expression. Dance can give a characterized image of conflict on

which the conflict can be build up (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

Conflict as Musical Improvisation

Conflict can be seen as an art just as Jazz or drumming is an art. As we see in different kinds of

music the musician always follow one soloist in different ways for example pick up theme or

http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/meaning_intractability/

http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/fear/


rhythm and extend music. Moreover the rhythm came from drumming circles grow out of the

shared experience of the rhythm. We can have interpersonal conflict which can be just like this.

For example if someone gets a good idea other people besides arguing it or introducing their own

ideas just add something to the main idea or suggestion which can help a lot to reduce conflict


12. Describe a low context culture. What are its strengths and weaknesses? How would

conflict be handled?

Low context culture also called individualistic culture. In this type of culture people resolve

conflicts through power or by mutual coordination. In this type of culture people discussed

things and spelled out the things logically. U.S, Canada and Europe are great examples of

individualistic culture. The strengths and weaknesses of this type of culture are as follows

(Wilmot, Hocker, 2010):

Strengths

a) The people in this type of culture are analytical.

b) The people in this type of culture are Action and solution oriented.

c) In this type of culture people have almost equal power and have same rules for everyone.

d) They do say the things what they mean it.

Weaknesses

a) The people think that planning is waste of time.

b) The people in this type of culture rely heavily on guessing and conclusions.

c) The people in this type of culture are individual oriented.


The people in this type of culture do not confront each other as it seems bad and rude.

The conflict usually is resolved through coordination and discussions. Also in this type of

culture people resolve disagreements by explaining what he or she means by using power

for example in competition. In individual cultures students are being taught that

directness, easiness and ability to argue are the prerequisites of any conflict management


13. Describe a high context culture. What are its strengths and weaknesses? How would

conflict be handled?

High context culture is also known as collective culture. In this type of culture there is a less

verbally explicit communication and information. Also the decisions in this type of culture are

made by the person who has the authority. People in this type of culture also believe in long

term relationships. Knowledge in this type of culture is more situational and relational (The

general terms "high context" and "low context"…, n.d.). Japan, China and Thailand are main

examples of collective culture.

Strengths

a) These people are group oriented.

b) The people in this type of culture are also relationship oriented.

c) The collective cultures they believe that maintaining a strong group is best guarantee to

individual freedom.

Weaknesses

a) In more collective cultures there is a difference between the words said and the actual

meaning of it.


b) Violation of collective expectations can help is creating conflicts.

c) People belong to Collective cultures make unclear and indirect strategies.

The people in this type of culture usually try to avoid conflicts. Unnecessary communication is

most likely to be used along with the discussions in order to resolve the conflicts and problems.

Each collective culture uses a wide variety of conflicts and they teach their children how to avoid

conflicts (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

14. Briefly describe gender differences in conflict.

Gender differences in conflict can affect the behaviors and views of both the parties. The word

gender usually includes both biological and social differences between men and women. The

research suggests that there are clear male and female differences in approaching to conflicts.

Papa and Natalle say that during laboratory exercises men usually show dominating and

competitive behavior whereas women show avoidant and compromising behavior (Wilmot,

Hocker, 2010). But Bjorkqvist, Osterman and Lagerspetz suggest that in real life both boy and

girl use direct verbal aggression equally which means boys shows physical aggression where as

girls shows indirect aggressions. One other Researcher Tannen said that women like to avoid

conflicts rather than show aggression. In organization women it is expected from women to leave

rather than men during any ongoing conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).


Reference

A lot of the conflict in our…(n.d.). Communication that CREATES Conflict. Retrieved January

14, 2011 from http://work911.com/communication/indexconflict.htm

Rinehart, Susan H. (n.d.). Managing Conflict Creatively. Retrieved January 14, 2011 from

http://ohioline.osu.edu/4h-fact/0020.html

The general terms "high context" and "low context"…(n.d.). High and Low Context. Retrieved

January 14, 2011from http://www.culture-at-work.com/highlow.html

Wilmot William W., Hocker Joyce (2010). Interpersonal Conflict (Eighth Edition) (pp 12-68).

McGraw-Hill Companies,Inc

http://www.culture-at-work.com/highlow.html

http://ohioline.osu.edu/4h-fact/0020.html

http://work911.com/communication/indexconflict.htm

atifkayanihbd6771.e1 exercise1

Documents