American Funeral Director • July 20188

Ask The Expert[Industry leader]

You’ve been working at Batesvillesince 2002. What initially broughtyou into death care and was thejob what you were expecting?

I was a management consultant inWashington, D.C., back in the early2000s, and Batesville was one of myclients. During this time, they hadapproached me about a job, but Iturned it down. I had never evenbeen to a funeral and was very igno-rant about the industry and the com-passionate people who havecommitted their lives to helping fami-lies. In the stereotypical way, I hadvisions of embalming bodies and offuneral directors who wore onlyblack and were always somber.

Around that time the show “SixFeet Under” came out, and I becamefascinated with the program – and byextension – the industry. I saw smallbusiness owners facing real businessissues, and I was intrigued. You canbet the next time Batesville ap-proached me with a job offer, I saidyes!

This has been an amazing journeyof continuous growth and learning.The insights I’ve gathered from funeraldirectors and other experts in the in-dustry have helped me and my familyduring our times of need.

You are Batesville’s director ofcustomer training and are knownfor your knowledge about

cremation. In your time atBatesville, have you seen adifference in the way funeralprofessionals approach cremation?

I have – but not enough. In my trav-els across North America, I’ve seen thefull spectrum – from firms that havefully integrated cremation into busi-ness by expanding their product andservice lines to include more crema-tion-friendly offerings, to those whostill view cremation as the proverbialred-headed step child. And everythingin between.

Change is not optional; if you aregoing to serve today’s consumers, youhave to know how to work with fami-lies who choose cremation. I’ve seen

more and more funeral home ownersand managers take proactive steps toprovide better training on how towork with families. Knowledgebuilds confidence and consistencyamong staff members, which pro-duces better outcomes for familiesand the business.

There’s also been a significant in-crease in the funeral director’s under-standing of the financial implicationscremation poses to their business,especially if we continue on the ‘noservice’ path. This has been a catalystfor change, triggering funeral profes-sionals to learn how to more effec-tively convey the value of the funeralto a family that comes in saying theydon’t want a funeral.

These are all positive steps, but ithas taken us too long to get here – andthere are still some pretty big gaps.

With the national cremation ratenow over 50 percent, are yousurprised that some funeralprofessionals still seem reluctant?

Yes, it baffles me, on a personaland professional level. Cremation isnot a trend; it is quickly becomingthe new normal for our industry.Yet, I still see funeral directors refer-ring to cremation as the enemy andfamilies choosing cremation as some-how ‘less than’ their burial counter-parts. In places where that isoccurring, chances are the families

How to Connect with Cremation Familiesn Summary

As Batesville’s director of customer training, Nectar Ramirez has been working withfuneral professionals for more than a decade. In that time, she has seen a change inboth funeral service and those who work in the field. We recently spoke to Ramirezabout what brought her into funeral service, the changes she has seen in the field andthose that must still be tackled. Steve Cronin reports

Q&A with Nectar Ramirez, director of customer training, Batesville

Nectar Ramirez

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will pick up on that resistance andchoose to go elsewhere – whichmeans the funeral home could bewalking away from half of its busi-ness.

Is there one mistake funeraldirectors make when dealing withcremation families?

Consider how the question isworded. We intentionally distinguisha ‘cremation family’ from one whochooses burial. It suggests they’resomehow different, and we’re goingto treat them differently. Sure, ourinternal processes may not be thesame, some of their decisions lead todifferent choices, but treating fami-lies differently based on disposition isprobably the biggest mistake funeralprofessionals make.

Labels often come with assump-tions about what a family wants –how they want to honor their lovedone, whether they want a service,what they want to spend. Every fami-ly is unique, and we need to giveeach one the same opportunity tocreate a meaningful service, regard-less of the disposition.

For too long, we assumed crema-tion families don’t want to partici-pate in any of the same rituals orelements of a funeral that burial fam-ilies do. Our research has provedtime and time again that this simplyisn’t true. In fact, in a 2013 Batesvilleresearch study with more than 1,200consumers, 68 percent of familieswho identified themselves as crema-tion-inclined expressed a preferencefor having a meaningful service, trib-ute or gathering. Yet, from industrystatistics, we know that occurs only42 percent of the time.

We see the same thing happeningwith cremation products – caskets,containers and urns – where familyinterest or intent to purchase isconsiderably higher than what isbeing fulfilled. So, why do we havesuch a gap?

The purpose of the funeral is toallow a family to acknowledge thedeath of a loved one, activate theirsupport system and give friends andrelatives the opportunity to expressthe love and respect they feel forsomeone who was important tothem. This applies to anyone whohas lost someone dear to them.Whether the deceased is buried orcremated is irrelevant to the funeralquestion.

How about cremation families?Have they changed at all in thetime since you’ve been working indeath care?

Like all consumers, families whoopt for cremation have become morediscerning and savvy. They’re morelikely to seek information online, aswell as from friends and family, be-fore coming to the funeral home. Theease of access to information throughtablets and smartphones has helpedto propel this change. Unfortunately,as we know, not all the informationon the internet is accurate, or has thebest interest of the consumer in mind.

There have been changes in atti-tude as well as behavior. For exam-ple, our research has shown a steadydecline in the number of families opt-ing to have a gathering of friends andfamily at the funeral home, while thepercentage of events held at other lo-cations has doubled. This reflectschanges in consumer preferences,what they value, how they want tocelebrate a loved one. If we want tocontinue to provide meaningful expe-riences to families, this shift shouldnot be overlooked.

Perhaps the biggest change I’veseen is the blurring of traditionallines between burial and cremation.Price is the number one type of infor-mation sought by all consumers (notjust those choosing cremation). Eco-nomics play a role in decisions, butat the end of the day, personal pref-erence is the primary factor influenc-ing decisions about disposition.

Family traditions and past experi-ence, which are primary drivers forburial, are gaining in importancefor those who choose cremation.We are working with second and

¹ Batesville consumer and funeral home research study, 2013

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third generations now, where familymembers before them chose crema-tion. It is their norm.

In your opinion, what is the mosteffective thing a funeralprofessional can do to ensure acremation family walks away froma service fully satisfied?

The first thing is to ensure they havea service, whether it happens at the fu-neral home or another location. Whena family chooses burial, a service is agiven. We expect it, and so our con-versations are structured to support it.Every family chooses a casket and de-signs a service. Yet, with cremation,neither of those is guaranteed.

Why aren’t we using the sameapproach with cremation? Make thechoice of products and service an active selection as part of the arrange-ment process. And make it personal.The best way to ensure a family is sat-

isfied with their funeral experience is topersonalize it. I don’t mean engravingsor prayer cards or folders. The experi-ence itself needs to be personalized.

Consumers have changed, and weneed to meet them where they are sothey feel like they’re valued, and fitinto your environment.

Make sure the rooms in the funeralhome appeal to a more diverse mar-ket, not just those with traditional re-ligious beliefs. A family will be moresatisfied if the service reflects theirloved one in life. It may mean a cele-brant in lieu of a pastor, having thedecedent in shorts and a T-shirt in thecasket, personalized products reflect-ing their life, creative music, and othernontraditional elements. You need togo for the wow factor in a funeral.

When it comes to cremation, arethere certain misperceptionsfamilies have about services?

Yes, there are two big misperceptionsthat have negative consequences onthe funeral home and the family.Both of them have to do with knowl-edge and awareness. The first is alack of awareness about service op-tions that are available. Families alsomake assumptions about what youhave to offer based on what they seeand hear, so make sure you’re active-ly showing the kinds of services youcan offer – on your website, in yourmarketing materials and in thearrangement conference.

Secondly, families don’t understandthe significant role that a meaningfulfuneral and personalized products canhave in their grief and healing. Theymistakenly think that by avoiding thewhole thing they will ‘get over’ thedeath of their loved one faster. Out ofsight, out of mind. The reality is younever get over it, you learn to live withit. A visitation with friends who shared

² Batesville consumer research study, 2017

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their life, and a funeral that includesmeaningful elements to reflect whatmade the loved one unique are criti-cal to healing a broken heart and al-lowing them to continue to be a partof your life going forward.

The national cremation rate nowexceeds 50 percent and is expect-ed to continue to climb. In light ofthis, what can funeral profession-als do today to set themselves upfor continued success?

As a training professional, I haveto say – train your staff. There are so

many training sources and great con-tent you can expose your staff to getthem up to speed, and then continueto support them in the workplace.

There are several things that willhelp you align yourself with families,which puts you in a better positionfor success.

1. Look at your facility from thelens of different families – agegroups, religions, ethnicities, etc.Does it accommodate families whodon’t want religion included, or whohave different beliefs?

2. Statistically, a higher percentage

of memorial services are secular. Beprepared to support their needs byoffering the services of celebrants tofamilies.

3. Offer a broad number of crema-tion products in all categories thatcan be personalized, and ensure yourstaff can present them effectively.

4. Provide options for off-sitememorial services, or have contactswho can help assist you in support-ing a family’s requests.

As you implement changes in yourfuneral home, realize they will needyour ongoing support, coaching andleadership to be fully realized.

If I had to identify one simple thingyou can start doing today … putyour pen down for the first five min-utes you are with a family in thearrangement office.

Don’t worry about writing downfacts right away – get to know them,have them get to know you.

Make this the very first thing youdo with a family, and it will changethe tone of your arrangement. •

Nectar Ramirez will be speaking atthe Cremation Innovations Summit

Sept. 28 in Las Vegas.

To learn more, visitwww.kates-boylston.com/summitvegas

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