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    COMPLIMENTARY

    JANUARY 2013, VOL. 10 ISSUE 11

    SEE PAGE 22

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    50 VideoPoker

    Machines

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    4001 LA HWY 30 ST. GABRIEL, LA 70776

    225.642.8226 (7.5 MILES FROM TANGER MALL)

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    Publisher / Editor

    Mike Strong

    Sales Manager

    Dottie Godberry

    Contributing Writers

    Bill Delaune

    Marilyn Bowman

    Linda Melancon

    Calvin Bessonett

    Ron Baratini

    Bully

    Goosie Guice

    Orhan McMillan

    Kellie Seymour

    Tanya Stilley

    Roland Doucet

    Denise Smith

    Karlin ONeal

    For Advertising

    Information Please call:

    225-622-1324

    E-Mail Comments

    to [email protected]

    www.ascensionmagazine.net

    Note: Features in this

    publication labeled

    advertorial

    are paid for editorials.

    All Rights Reserved.

    Opinions expressed are not

    necessarily those of the

    publisher, editor or staff of

    Ascension Magazine

    18386 Little Prairie Rd.Prairieville, LA 70769

    FEED THE NEEDY ..................4

    ASCENSION HOUSEWISE .....10

    SWEET EYES W/ TANYA.... ....12

    ASK YOUR REALTOR ..............18

    PREMIER LANES .................................22

    BILL DELAUNE........................30

    THOUGHTS FROM BULLY ....34

    SWAMP POP INTERVIEW........ 40

    Table of Contents

    In a Store Near You Ask for it by Name

    DeliciousVeronsGreen OnionSausagehas takenthe parish

    by storm.

    Taste the Best!

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    In December 2006, UnclePerry and Aunt Susan Aldridgecasually mentioned to BAMAthat there were three needyfamilies in the Gonzales area

    who were in danger of goingwithout the necessities forChristmas.

    That was all it took for theidea of Feed the Needy to beborn in the big heart of theCEO, Thomas BAMA

    Aldridge.It was a humble beginning

    that year as BAMA asked SheriffWiley if he would sponsor a potof food to use as a fund raiser inorder to try to help thesefamilies. The Sheriff obliged andBAMA and his Souse Chef,Bones Sheets cooked a henand andouille sauce piquante

    which was sold for the regularSaturday lunch at Gonzales

    Country Club. The processraised $800.00 and in turn,those three families had anunexpectedly great Christmas.

    In 2007, The BAMA recruitedhis good friend Terrell Bourgeoisand brother Randall. Theyactively solicited donations andcooked a jambalaya that wasonce again sold on the Saturdaybefore Christmas. A total of$1625.00 was raised and the

    Feed the Needy Annual FundraiserRaises & Donates $20,105 to Families

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    main beneficiaries that year were of the St.Theresa food bank and several needy familiesin Ascension Parish.

    In 2008, the total grew to $2640.00.Same beneficiaries.

    In 2009, the gang of volunteers grew alongwith the donations and contributors wereencouraged to write their checks to St.Theresa Food Bank. The group raised a totalof $5314 with $2720.00 donated directly toSt.Theresa and the balance to identified needyfamilies in the area.

    For 2010, the strategy was to try to getsome involvement from St. John ChurchParish because in 2009, we had beenapproached to donate some hams and freshfruit to needy families from that area. Thefeeling was that the one jambalaya that wasusually cooked may not have been enough, sothe CEO called in Uncle Jim Bullion and

    white bean specialist, Pete Robbins from thatarea, which turned out to be another brilliantand strategic move. Also, major contributors

    were encouraged to either write their checksto St. Theresa or to St.John Food Banks.As more prople heard about the event, more

    people volunteered and donated and 2010raised a record breaking $10,565.00In 2011retired school board member, Steve

    Broussard joined BAMA and brought somesupport from the Gators side of AirlineHighway. The total amount raised exceted allexpectations and a magniciant amount of$16,465 supported our needy families.

    This year 2012 raised a landmark amountof $20,105.00.

    FEED THE NEEDYDISPERSEMENTS 2012

    St. Theresa Food Bank $5375.00

    St. John Food Bank $2030.00

    Holy Rosary Food Bank $2000.00

    First United Methodist Church Food Bank $1050.00

    St. Marks Community Outreach $1000.00

    Perry Aldridge Charities $900.00

    Needy Families at Galvez Middle $800.00

    Needy Families at Gonzales Primary $800.00

    Needy Families at Carver Primary $800.00

    Needy Families at St. Amant Primary $800.00

    Battered Womans Shelter $750.00

    Healing Place Community Outreach $500.00

    Needy Families at Dutchtown Primary $400.00Needy Family in Geismar $400.00

    Needy Family in Dutchtown $400.00

    Needy Family in Donaldsonville $400.00

    Lazarus Project at Bethany Church $300.00

    Needy Family at First United Methodist $300.00

    Needy Family in Gonzales $300.00

    Needy Family in Dutchtown $300.00

    Needy Family in Prairieville $250.00

    Needy Family in Donaldsonville $200.00

    Baton Rouge Food Bank $50.00

    TOTAL OF $20,105.00 COLLECTED AND DISBURSEDFOR LOCAL NEEDY FAMILIES AND CHARITIES

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    In addition to the aboveamounts, the local Feed theNeedy committee was able todonated 2000 lbs. of frozenfood that was delivered to theBattered Womans Shelter.

    As usual, Sheriff Wileydonated the ingredients for thefirst jambalaya. Blaine, Kade

    and Garrett Sheets of RiverParish Foods stepped up to help

    with the second pot. Othersponsors such as BrandonTroxclair of Ralphs SuperMarket, Marcy LeBlanc ofLeBlancs sponsored Jambalayasand Lamendolas Super Marketdonated the white beans andRyan Harris of Bunny Breadcame through.

    There are so many people tothank, said BAMA. The

    whole event would not bepossible without the generosity

    of Bubba Morgan, whograciously gave us the oldGonzales Country Clubbuilding to use that day.

    The volunteer crew was thelargest, hardest working, andmost efficient I have ever seen.The response by the people of

    Ascension Parish in terms of itsdonations as well as the

    jambalaya dinner purchases was

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    incredible. The most heartwarming fact in all this processis that there was not one centof expenses and all of themoney raised was dispersed toneedy families right here in ourcommunities. There are noadministrative cost retained.

    Once again, the residents ofthis area have shown why it issuch a blessing to live in

    Ascension.

    Publishers Note:

    It is with great pleasureAscension Magazine supportsand promotes the Feed theNeedy fundraiser. I want torecognize the special efforts ofsome the volunteers. Thanks foryour kind efforts ThomasBama Aldridge, TerrellBourgeois, Pete Robbins, MylesCatman Bourque, Randall

    Aldridge, Jeff Walker, SteveBroussard, Mike Reames,Macky Aldridge, Wayne Sheets,Lynn Guidry and many morethat I just cant recall. ThankYou for your humanityand leadership.

    Feed the Needy has growninto a special organizationand received donations from asfar as 397 miles from Gonzalesfrom a donator known as SweetHome Alabama. However thisyear a donation came in from

    a Sweet Angel all the way fromBroomfield, Colorado,1350 miles from Gonzales.

    TO HELP NEEDY FAMILIES

    CONTACT:

    BAMA 241-0804

    RANDALL 270-4443

    WAYNE 715-3771

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    For more than 16 years, we havedeveloped, owned and managed senior

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    alternative living arrangements for seniorscombining wellness, independence and personal care in awarm dignified setting with over 100 years of personal andprofessional experience.

    2013 Yearly

    Events Calendar Anniversary Party Mardi Gras Party Valentines Party St. Patrick Party Easter Egg Hunt Cinco de Mayo Party Mothers Day Social Fathers Day Social 4th of July Party Halloween Party Thanksgiving Party Christmas Party Holiday Bizarre

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    CARNIVALMART

    BEADS THROWS DECORATIONS

    www.carnivalmart.net

    225.248.9720 800.229.6054

    8986 Florline Blvd., Baton Rouge, LA 70815

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    With the Christmas decorationsgone, are you missing thatcolor? Does that room feel a lit-tle empty? Well, its a brandnew yearso, why not havesome fun and shake things up bygiving one or two rooms a bit ofa makeover?

    A fresh new look will help keepthat New Years positive freshoutlook alive for everyone. Hereare a few ideas:

    Rearrange:What better time torearrange then after removingthat Christmas tree? Dont justput the furniture back the way it

    was. Try angling your larger fur-niture pieces. Maybe add anaccent table or two. Or reuphol-ster a chair. You might evenconsider transferring piecesfrom one room to another.

    Lighten. Brighten. De-Clutter:What a great word! Try clearingyour rooms of excessive clutter even consider downsizing

    your precious collections.Brighten your floors with a newarea rug!. Change out your win-dow treatments to lighten yourroom! Add a few accent pillowsto your furniture for a fresh newlook.

    Karlin ONealPrairieville225.673.2052karlin@decoratingden.comwww.decdens.com/karlin

    Denise [email protected]/denisesmith

    With the holiday decorationsgone or going, it's time to

    shake up that room?

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    Change the palette:Wasnt itcolorful with those decorations?If youre living in an all whiteor beige world, than nothing

    will spark your roomsmakeover faster than color!Perhaps its just one simpleaccent wall painted a dramaticand exciting color. Maybe a newpicture will find a new homeover your fireplace mantle

    adding color and spice to yourfamily room. Replacing a wornarea rug thats seen better days

    with a new textured multi-col-ored area rug might fit thebill perfectly. Nothing addsmore instantaneous drama andpizzazz to your rooms entiredcor more than color!

    Lighting: Unfortunately,improper and inadequate roomlighting is very common. Fewthings can rekindle our spiritson a gray, rainy or snowy day

    like a homes interior bathed inwarm light. In fact, good artifi-cial lighting is known to havesuch a positive effect on onesmoods, that some consider itpreventive medicine. Whendeveloping a lighting plan, youfirst need to take stock of whattypes of activities you enjoy ineach of the rooms that youreconsider making over.

    Refresh your accessories:A newlamp, or lampshade, might justbrighten up one dark corner in

    your room. Add a few accentpillows to your furniture for afresh new look. Perhaps a newpiece of art or the addition ofan exciting piece of sculpturemight just set the tone for a

    wonderful fresh roommakeover!

    As you review those New Years

    Resolutions, why not considerbreathing a little new life into

    your tired interior with some

    modest changes. You wontbe sorry, once your new lookis complete!!

    Denise & Karlin are the ownersof Decorating Den Interiors inAscension Parish serving all ofSoutheast Louisiana.Decorating Den is NorthAmericas largest homefurnishings and interior designfranchise company, and Karlinand Denise would love to sharetheir award winning talentsand expertise in your home!

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    Are yourThighsHappy?

    I have a dear friend of minethat talks about her celluliteopenly. She always says, Idont have cellulite. My thighsare just happy! For those

    women that dont want theirthighs to be, wellhappy,Ive discovered something that

    just might put a little joy inyour jiggle.

    Its a product by Fat GirlSlim and its called Fat Girl SlimSix Pack. This is one of thelatest products in the Bliss

    family product line. Theproduct retails for $38.00 andincludes active ingredients like

    caffeine to firm; creatine torelease energy to the cells; oatkernel extract for immediatefirming; latex-rich manilkaratree extract to boost elasticityand a special botanical blend tolift your tummy (or any otherarea you choose to apply thisfat blasting gel). This productalso boasts a unique applicatorhead to really get the gelmassaged into your skin.

    This is by far one of thehighest rated cellulite reducerson the market. Most women

    that tried this product rated atleast 3 out of 5 stars.

    After I applied the gel to myhappy zone, I noticed animmediate cooling sensationupon application, and thenminutes later, my skin feltmuch tighter. The tightfeeling wasnt there the entireday, but I definitely felt firmfor the next several hours.

    I definitely think this is aconfidence building productthat I might use right beforeheading to the beach. As Imentioned, you dont have to

    just put it on your abs, you can

    apply this product wherever youfeel happy!

    PowerPackedProtein

    Ive always loved health food.

    I think I ate my first power barat 14, and since then, I washooked. If youve explored the

    vast array of health foods, likeprotein bars and shakes, then

    you know not all products arecreated equal. Some productscan taste like cardboard whileothers can taste like a chalkymess. Yuck!

    A key ingredient in mostfigure friendly foods is protein.Protein wards off hunger andhelps your body burn fat andbuild muscle. The CDC

    recommends that our dailycaloric intake should bebetween 10-35% protein. If youare an athlete, you may requiremore protein intake. An easy

    way to get your daily allowanceof protein is through proteinpowder. Youre now able topurchase protein powderspretty much anywhere.

    Some protein powders that

    are low in quality taste badand require a blender to mixproperly, but Ive found one

    thats fantastic! It calledSyntrax Matrix 5.0. This highimpact, high quality proteinpowder comes in differentflavors like: chocolate, orange

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    cream, vanilla, cookies andcream and strawberry cream.I love the strawberry and the

    vanilla. It retails online from$34-$58 for a five pound bag.

    Unlike most proteinpowders, this one actuallytastes great! One benefit isthat it dissolves immediatelyinto whatever liquid you mix itinto. Heres the breakdown ofnutrition. 1 Scoop of Matrix5.0 has 110 calories, 1.5 gramsof fat, 2 grams of sugar and23 grams of protein.

    Also, I make one of myfavorite smoothies with thispowder and it is De-lic-ious!

    PB&C Smoothie 1 scoop vanilla Matrix 1 whole small banana

    or large frozen banana 1 teaspoons unsweetened

    peanut butter Dash cinnamon Cooled coffee until the

    smoothie blends to yourdesired consistency

    Blend and voila!Thatll get your day going.Enjoy!

    Benefits ofGivingProverbs 22:9 says, He who

    is generous will be blessed, forhe gives some of his food tothe poor.

    People that give back aresome of the happiest people Iknow. Whether its giving alove offering to a family incrisis, participating in an

    outreach for those lessfortunate or helping someoneon the side of the road to

    change a tire, you just feelgood when you reach out tothose in need.

    According to a recent articleby Dr. Michael Roizen, givingcan give your brain a rush ofendorphins that can stayelevated for quite a while. As amatter of fact a survey statedthat nearly ninety percent ofpeople who experience thisendorphin rush grade theirhealth condition as better thanthose who haven't. Dr. Roizensays that even thinking aboutdoing good to others can make

    you feel good.In their book, The Healing

    Power of Doing Good, authorsAllan Luks and Peggy Payneoffered these additional healthbenefits: a stronger immunesystem, reduction of highblood pressure and other

    cardiovascular effects, fasterrecovery from surgery,decreased cancer activity, amore positive and happieroutlook on life, decreasedfeeling of helplessness,loneliness and depression, andstress relief.

    There is a reason our bodies

    respond positively to giving.The endorphin rush is Gods

    gift to us for being His handsand feet. Dont pass anopportunity to give to thosearound you. Give a smile, givea meal, give an encouraging

    word and refreshment willcome your way.

    Questions?

    Send any questions orcomments to sweeteyesascen-

    [email protected]

    Looking for a health resolution that you can makeand keep? Take our 90-Day Breakfast Challenge!Everyone knows that breakfast is the most importantmeal of the day its what wakes up our metabolismafter a night of rest. Its what gives us the fuel tostart our day with the energy we need to performand succeed!

    Chances are, like most people, you had either simplecarbohydrates like toast or cereal, or you skipped

    breakfast altogether. Some of us start the day withglazed donuts, coffee cakes, cokes, and unhealthyenergy drinks, sugars and stimulants we know arenot good, but theyre fast, easy and cheap . . . untilthe CRASH! The traditional sit down breakfast issimply out of the question for many of us andbreakfast on the go from a fast food restaurantbecame the alternative.

    All of these options deprive your body of the vitalmacro and micro nutrients needed to function well.This results in carbohydrate cravings, unhealthysnacking and a drop in energy levels. But it needntbe like this.

    Challenge yourself to focus on your nutritionconsumption, and discover how a low cost, lowcalorie breakfast shake can improve your health,boost your energy, build lean muscle, and help youachieve weight loss goals with ease.

    It fuels your body with the protein, enzymes, fiber,vitamins and minerals your body needs to createhealth, vitality and energy!

    Its fast, convenient, nutritious, delicious, affordable,and it works. For less than $2/day you will see a

    better you and feel the difference!

    Doctors are amazed at the results, and the commentkeep doing what you are doing is heard often.Achieving wellness on the Breakfast ShakeChallenge, medications soon become no longerprescribed.

    Start your journey to a healthier you and make yourJanuary 2013 Resolution a success youll rememberfor the rest of your life! Call our office now and startyour 90-Day Breakfast Challenge TODAY!(225) 644-6049

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    Additional Supplement Amp Create energy at cellular levels Needed for proper fat metabolism Boost low immune system Are you sluggish? Has your metabolism slowed down? Has your weight increased? Do you get sick more frequently

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    MARDI GRAS2013 PARADESCHEDULE

    A quick reference toBaton Rouge and

    New Orleans most popularparades brought to you

    by DutchtownPhysical Therapy,

    Your communityphysical therapy provider.

    Have a safe and happyCarnival Season.

    BATON ROUGEAREA PARADES

    DowntownBaton Rouge

    Krewe of Jupiter and JunoSaturday

    January 26th 6:30 pm

    Krewe of MuttsSunday

    January 27th 1:30 pm

    Krewe of ArtemisFriday -

    February 1st 7:00 pm

    Krewe Mystique de laCapitaleSaturday

    February 2nd 2:00 pm

    Krewe of Orion

    Saturday February 2nd -6:30 pm

    Krewe of Spanish TownSaturday

    February 9th- 12 noon

    Celebrating5 Years of

    Commitmentto Service in the

    DutchtownCommunity

    Four years and growing with theDutchtown Community.

    Chase Roy, PT, DPTGeoff LeJeune, PT

    Scott Larson, PT, OCS

    ASTYM Certified Clinic

    Specializing in orthopedic

    physical rehabilitation.

    DUTCHTOWNS COMMUNITYPHYSICAL THERAPY CENTER

    Geoff LeJeune, PT

    Scott Larson, PT, OCS

    Chase Roy, PT, DPT

    36501 Mission Street, Suite A(Inside Fusion Health and Fitness)

    Prairieville, Louisiana 70769

    225.744.3631 fax 225.744.3647

    Dutchtown Physical Therapy accepts most insurances.

    16

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    hair forumhair forumS A L O N

    Committed

    to HealingHair &PlanetEarth

    LANZAsProducts &ActionsPromoteA

    Healthy &SustainnableEarth.

    36501 MISSION ST. Suite A (Inside Fusion Fitness) Prairieville, Louisiana 70769

    ( 2 2 5 ) 7 4 4 - 3 6 3 1 F A X ( 2 2 5 ) 7 4 4 - - 3 6 4 7

    6 2 2 . 2 1 8 3

    NEW ORLEANSAREA PARADES

    UptownKrewe of Hermes

    Friday

    February 8th 6:00 pm

    Krewe of MorpheusFriday

    February 8th - 7:00 pm

    Krewe of Endymion(Mid-City)Saturday

    February 9th 4:15 pm

    Krewe of BacchusSunday-

    February 10th 5:15 pm

    Krewe of OrpheusMonday

    February 11th 6:00 pm

    Krewe of ZuluTuesday

    February 12th 8:00 am

    Krewe of RexTuesday

    February 12th 10:00 am

    Krewe of Elks OrleansTuesday

    February 12th follows Rex

    Laissez les bon ton rouler(Let the Good times Roll)

    TO CONTACT OUR OFFICE:

    CHASE ROY, DPTDUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL

    THERAPY36501 MISSION STREET,

    SUITE A(Located In Fusion Fitness)PRAIRIEVILLE, LA, 70769

    (225) 744-3631fax (225) 744-3647

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    A S K Y O U R

    Realtor

    wi th Mar i l yn Bowman

    Superior Medical Care When You Need It.

    225.313.393014350 HWY. 73 PRAIRIEVILLE

    (HWY. 73 NEAR I-10)

    Mon. - Fri. 9am to 9pmSat. & Sun. 9am to 5pm

    We offer extended hours includingevenings and weekends andtreat ailments such as: Sore throats Ear aches Coughs and colds Sports injuries Flus and fevers Minor cuts and stitches Vomiting and diarrhea Eye infection Skin infections

    including abscesses Sprains and strains Possible broken bones

    or simple fractures Minor burns Allergies Physical

    examinations Occupational Injuries Digital x-ray Nebulizer treatments Basic labs and other

    diagnostic tests Vaccinations (adult)

    MOST INSURANCES ACCEPTED

    www.ascensionurgentcare.com

    MortgageForgiveness& Debt Relief Act

    If you have been wonderinghow the fiscal cliff affected themortgage industry, I am hereto give you good news. Themortgage industry fared wellin fiscal cliff deal and debt

    forgiveness law. The fiscalcliff deal preserved theMortgage Forgiveness DebtRelief Act, while also bringingback a popular tax break onmortgage insurance premiums.

    The mortgage industry canbreathe a sigh of relief withthe final fiscal cliff dealbringing back a popular taxbreak on mortgage insurancepremiums and debt forgivenessfor borrowers who go througha short-sale or some other type

    of debt reduction.

    A topic that is still up fordiscussion and likely to surfacelater in the year is whether thepopular mortgage interesttax deduction will be partof a long-term deficitreduction plan.

    Still, the deal passed by theSenate and House on Jan 1 isone that leaves room for hopein the housing market.The American Taxpayer Relief

    Act of 2012 apparentlyextends a law that expired atthe end of 2011, whichallowed for the deductibility ofmortgage insurance premiumsaccording to a research reportfrom Isaac Boltansky withCompass Point Research andTrading. The law now appliesto fiscal years 2012 and 2013.The law allows eligibleborrowers who itemize theirfederal tax returns and have anadjusted gross income (AGI)of less than $100,000 per

    year can deduct 100% of theirannual mortgage insurancepremiums according to theCompass Point report.

    Certain borrowers with AGIsabove $100,000 may benefitfrom the deductibility as wellbut are subject to a slidingscale. The tax break coversprivate mortgage insurance as

    well as mortgage insuranceprovided by FHA, VA and theRural Housing Service. In2009, about 3.6 milliontaxpayers claimed themortgage insurance deduction

    per the research firm. If youthink you qualify for this, besure to discuss with yourtax advisor.

    One of the more watchedprovisions of the fiscal cliff

    was the Mortgage ForgivenessDebt Relief Act of 2007,

    which was set to expire onDecember 31. the fiscal cliffdeal extends it for another

    year, meaning homeownerswho experience a debtreduction through mortgage

    principal forgiveness or a shortsale are exempt from beingtaxed on the forgiven amount.

    Certain qualifications apply sohomeowners need to discussthis option with a professionalto see if they qualify for thedebt relief forgiveness.

    Another minor win forhousing is a provision tied tothe government's plan toincrease the capital gains taxrate from 15% to 20% for

    individuals who earn morethan $400,000. While intheory, this is harder onhigher-income homeowners,Cypress Point sees a silverlining through an exclusion.In order for an individualhomeowners to be impactedby the increased capital gainstax rate, they would need tohave an adjusted gross incomeabove $400,000 and gainmore than $250,000 from thesale of the property. Since thisexclusion threshold remained

    intact, the impact of thecapital gain tax increaseis limited.

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    COSMETICDENTISTRYHow Can My DentistImprove My Smile?

    By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD

    From subtle changes to major repairs,your dentist can perform a variety ofprocedures to improve your smile.There are many techniques andoptions to treat teeth that arediscolored, chipped, misshapen ormissing. Your dentist can reshape yourteeth, close spaces, restore worn orshort teeth or alter the length of yourteeth. Common procedures includebleaching, bonding, crowns, veneersand reshaping and contouring.

    These improvements are not alwaysjust cosmetic. Many of thesetreatments can improve oralproblems, such as your bite.

    Bleaching

    Bleaching is a common and popular

    chemical process used to whiten teeth.Some people get their teeth bleachedto make stains disappear, while otherjust want a whiter shade.

    Discoloration occurs in the enameland can be caused by medication,coffee, tea and cigarettes.Discoloration also can be hereditaryor due simply to getting older.

    Bleaching can be performed by yourdentist in the office or, under dentalsupervision, at home. Many patientsenjoy bleaching at home because it ismore convenient. Treatment begins

    when your dentist creates a custommouthpiece to ensure the correctamount of whitening solution is usedand that your teeth are properlyexposed. Typically, whitening at hometakes two to four weeks, dependingon the desired shade you wish toachieve. Whitening in the office maycall for one or more 45-minute toone-hour visits to your dentist'soffice.

    Bonding

    Bonding is tooth-colored material

    used to fill in gaps or change the colorof teeth. Requiring a single officevisit, bonding lasts several years.Bonding is more susceptible tostaining or chipping than other formsof restoration. When teeth arechipped or slightly decayed, bondedcomposite resins may be the materialof choice. Bonding also is used as atooth-colored filling for small cavities.Additionally, it can be used to closespaces between teeth or cover theentire outside surface of a tooth tochange its color and shape.

    Crowns

    Crowns, also known as caps, cover atooth to restore it to its normal shape

    and appearance. Due to their cost,they are used in cases where otherprocedures will not be effective.Crowns have the longest lifeexpectancy of all cosmeticrestorations, but are the mosttime-consuming.

    Veneers

    Veneers are thin pieces of porcelain orplastic placed over the front teeth tochange the color or shape of yourteeth. Veneers are used on teeth withuneven surfaces or are chipped,discolored, oddly shaped, unevenlyspaced or crooked. Little or no

    anesthesia is needed. Veneers are usedto treat some of the same problemsas bonding.

    This treatment is an alternative tocrowns, which are more expensive.The procedure requires your dentistto take an impression of your tooth.Before the custom-made veneer iscemented directly onto the tooth,your dentist will lightly buf f the toothto compensate for the added thicknessof the veneer. Once the cement isbetween the veneer and your tooth, alight beam is used to harden it.

    Porcelain veneers require more thanone visit because they are fabricated ina laboratory. Veneers have a longerlife expectancy and color stabilitythan bonding.

    Contouringand reshaping

    Tooth reshaping and contouring, is aprocedure to correct crooked teeth,chipped or irregularly shaped teeth oreven overlapping teeth in a singlesession. Tooth reshaping andcontouring, is commonly used to alterthe length, shape or position of yourteeth. Contouring teeth may also helpcorrect small problems with bite. It iscommon for bonding to be combined

    with tooth reshaping.

    This procedure is ideal for candidateswith normal, healthy teeth but whowant subtle changes to their smile.Your dentist will take X-rays toevaluate the size and location of thepulp of each tooth to ensure thatthere's enough bone between theteeth to support them.

    Which procedure isright for me?

    Your dentist can answer any questionsyou may have about techniquesused to improve your smile. Thecondition of your teeth and desiredresult you want often dictates the bestprocedure. If you are considering atreatment, there are a few questionsyou can ask your dentist beforedeciding if a particular procedure isright for you.

    What will the changes look like? What should I expect through the

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    What Doesthe New Tax

    Laws Meanfor You?On January 2nd of this year, theAmerican Taxpayer Relief Act of2012 was signed into law, thusavoiding the so-called fiscal cliff.Although much attention wasfocused on what would happen ifthe Act had not been passed, therehas been little analysis of how theAct changes the tax laws that werepreviously in place. This articlebriefly summarizes the majorrevisions made by the Tax Act of

    2012 and the impact of thosechanges on estate and tax planning.

    The first major revision to our taxlaws, and the one most anticipatedby legal and financial professionals,addresses the amount of lifetime andpost-death gifts that can be madewithout being taxed. Before the Actwas passed, this exemption amountwas set to drop to $1 million in2013, meaning estates over thatamount would be taxed at upwardsof 35%. With the rise in popularityof large term-life insurance policies,this meant that a sizeable number ofAmericans would have been subjectto this tax. With the passage of theAct of 2012, individuals can nowtransfer up to $5 million, eitherduring their lifetimes or at death,without being taxed. The practicaleffect of this provision is that mostindividuals will not be taxedfederally for transferring their

    property. For this reason, estateplanning, in general, will shift fromfocusing on tax avoidance toaddressing other concerns, likeproviding for loved ones andprotecting their inheritancesfrom creditors.

    Another portion of the Act, calledthe portability provision, allows asurviving spouse to make use of hisor her deceased spouses unusedfederal estate and gift tax exemption

    amounts. This means that if onespouse passes away and uses $2.5million of his or her exemption, thesurviving spouse can use theremaining $2.5 million in additionto his or her $5 million. Prior tothis portability provision, coupleshad to engage in advanced planningtechniques, like establishing trusts,to take advantage of each othersexemptions. Although trusts areimportant for other reasons, likeensuring the preservation of funds

    for children, this revision will allowmost couples to have more controlover when their assets should betransferred, without having toconsider tax consequences.

    In addition to giving some solidityto the federal gift and estate taxexemption amounts and providingpermanent portability, the Tax Actof 2012 also addresses what isknown as the generation-skippingtransfer tax or GST tax. This tax isassessed when gifts over a certainamount are made to grandchildrenand other individuals who are twoor more generations removed fromthe person making the gift. This tax

    is assessed in addition to estate andgift taxes, since it is meant tocapture the tax that would havebeen assessed to the generation thatwas skipped. With the passage ofthe Act of 2012, the GST taxexemption has been set at $5million, meaning an individual cantransfer up to that amount to askip person without being taxed.Due to the high amount of theexemption, most individuals willnow be able to focus on the needs

    of their family members, rather thanwho must receive the funds in orderto avoid or minimize taxation. Thisis especially important in our society,since Americans are increasinglybecoming financially involved in thelives of their grandchildren.

    Overall, the 2012 Tax Act hasremoved the need for mostAmericans to focus on tax planningwhen deciding on how to providefor their families. Instead,

    individuals, in general, now have theability to focus their planning effortson taking care of themselves andtheir families in the manner thatsuits them best.

    When planning for the future, it isstill critical for individuals to consultan attorney who practices in theareas of elder law and estateplanning and is well-versed incurrent Louisiana and Federal laws,other than the Tax Act, that couldaffect their planning.

    Ms. Melancon has engaged in thepractice of law in Louisiana for the

    past 14 years. The primary focus ofher practice is estate planning,special needs planning, elder law andprobate. She is also accredited by theVA to give advice regarding veteransbenefits. For more information,

    please contact her at 744-0027 orvisit her website atwww.LegacyCenterLa.com or herfacebook page at: http://www.face-book.com/pages/Prairieville-

    LA/Legacy-Center-of-Louisiana/267942070212.

    YOUR ESTATE MATTERSBy Linda Melancon

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    All Aboard onthe Garyville

    NorthernBy Murphy J. Painter

    The communities of Garyville, Whitehall, Frost, andLivingstons connection with a historic link of trans-portation is almost entirely lost except for twogroups, those who are still living and can rememberand then those who are too young to rememberbut see it as a possible historic and economicengine today. Movement and expansion of thehuman race has always been hindered or enhancedbased on what means of condensing the distancewas available at that particular time. If you lived inthe rural areas of Livingston, St. James, Ascension,or St. John at the turn of the 20th century, yourchoices were still very limited: foot, horseback,buggy, boat or train.

    Garyville, perched on the Mississippi River, wasexactly what can be compared to as a far westmining town, taking advantage of a scarce naturalresource. The mighty river provided the means toship resources anywhere in the world. However,there was a need to get the resources to the river.The natural resource was not gold or silver butanother form of gold. (Modern day sinker cypresshunters, including myself, calls the reddish gold sawdust that is cut from a sinker log cypress golddust.) The mighty Cypress trees, that up until nowwere untouched for thousands of years in the belowsea level bogs of the area west of New Orleans, tothe lumber companies was as good as gold.

    In 1903, the Lyon Cypress Lumber Company of

    Chicago bought and began erecting the mostmodern means of harvesting and efficiently cuttinglumber for that time, a band saw mill. Alsoequally important, due to the isolation of itslocation, (no malls nearby) was the need for anideal working community dedicated to the laborneeds of the company and the contentmentof the workers.

    To the few poor trappers or farmers scratching tomake a living every day in this region, the mills

    brought a new life style opportunity also. Withthem came electricity, telephones, banks, companystores, churches, schools, entertainment theatres,and bars that would occupy a symmetricallychoreographed design utilized for the efficiency ofthe mill and the comfort and contentment of theworkers who worked long hours for low wages.

    From 1903 until 1915, the hundreds of workerscaught the Lyon Cypress Lumber Company milldummy line (name of train due to its use for themill only at this time) for 6:00 am every morningexcept Sunday to be dropped off in the swamps toharvest gigantic virgin growth cypress trees. Mostof these trees had been making rings for over1000 years. Trees that marveled their cousins, thePacific coast Redwoods. Twenty, thirty, forty feet in

    circumference were common place. They wouldthen get back on the train eleven hours later, thenorm for this period, to return to the serenity of citylife in Garyville.

    Just to give someone the full understanding ofthe size of these forests and the timber holdingscontained in them, the Lyons mill was capable ofcutting 100,000 board feet of lumber a day andran 6 days a week, 24 hours a day. From 1903 to1915, they harvested cypress from Garyville northto the Amite River, a line of approximately 19miles. By 1915, this one tract cut, produced andshipped around the world over 400 million boardfeet of virgin red cypress lumber.

    The millions of board feet of cypress holdings the

    company held were pretty much exhausted afterthe mill railroad passed through the community ofWhitehall and reached the Amite River. Faced withthe reality of very little or no cypress available,Lyons decided to refit the Garyville Mill to cut pineand hardwoods and also to extend the mill railroadto another of Lyons planned communities and millsbeing built at what would later become Livingston,La. Thus was born the Garyville Northern Railroad.

    Records suggest the Lyon Lumber Company's

    (They dropped the Cypress in the name and justused Lumber in 1915.) venture into the railroadbusiness satisfied two needs of the time. First itwas advantageous for the company to sever theexpenses of the rail operation, for accountingpurposes, from a business prospective while alsogaining another income source. From acommunity economic growth prospective, theadded passenger cars would allow passage for abusiness or personal purpose to the inhabitants onboth sides of this otherwise impassable trek thoughthe massive swamps, granting easier access to theMississippi River and New Orleans and to thecentral and northeast sections of Louisiana as well.

    Regardless of what end you started, your journeyfrom start to finish was 35 miles. Picture getting off

    either another train or a steam ship and thentransferring to the Garyville Northern. Almostimmediately upon leaving the Garyville compoundheading due north, you would become engulfedinto an era that marveled a Jurassic movie whereyou would expect to see a dinosaur rising up fromthe swamps. Alligators, otters, minks, and birds ofevery color and size appeared in a panoramic viewto all who cared to notice.

    Just as the need arose to retool the mills forhardwoods and pine, the same immediate noticewas given by the land scape after passing the first19 miles and crossing the Amite River at ClovisArceneauxs home and bridge control office. Steamships that were named Miss Jessie, Miss Alice andMiss Bertha were still plying the waters of the

    Amite River in 1915 bringing imports that for somewas their only monthly supply of household goods.These ships traveled as far up the river as PortVincent, La. from the food markets of New Orleansusing the Rampart Street docks for export. TheGaryville Northerns crossing of the Amite requiredthe need for the ships to get through the railroadbridge, thus the demand for a floating draw bridge,and Clovis Arceneaux, the draw bridge tender.

    Cloviss house marked the end of cypressswamps and welcomed the high land piney woodson the other side of the river for the next 16 milesending at the Garyville Northerns connection withthe Yazoo & Mississippi Valley Railroad in what isnow the town of Livingston and today the IllinoisCentral Railroad. The road, Hwy 63, which runs

    pretty much on a straight line from the communityof Verdun to Livingston, is the rail bed for the longabandoned railroad.

    Murphy J. White Mule Brown, a man who

    proudly announces he is the oldest male still alivein the Whitehall Community which has been hishome most of his 90 years on earth, remembersthe Garyville Northern as a child. Being born onBrowns ridge, a high point on what is now Head ofIsland, White Mule Brown and friends had thetracks as their eastern boundary for exploration.They would cross a wood foot and wagon bridgenear where the old Club Forest was located as youfollow now Hwy 22 (A bar Brown built when he

    returned from fighting in Europe in WWII in 1945).Brown and his friends would wait for the train inWhitehall, jump on the slow moving cars, and rideit north to the Amite River crossing and then jumpback off at Clovis Arceneauxs house.

    Without computers, cell phones, cars, or any oftodays marvels that facilitate boredom, Brownfondly recalls some of his best buddy bondingstaking place sitting on those tracks discussing what

    they knew, what their dreams were and how theywere going to accomplish them. Born in 1922,White Mule believes he was around 6 years oldwhen he began these explorations without parentsupervision. Think about letting your 6 year oldtoday leave your house in the morning, walk or ridea horse three to five miles, jump a train, not toreturn to after dark with no way of knowing whatthey are up to until they returned with the cuts and

    scrapes of the day.White Mule recalls a crevasse happening on the

    Mississippi River levee system North of BatonRouge in the 1920s sending millions of gallons ofriver water down the Amite River watershed.Because Whitehall is the highest area around andhad the only fields not inundated with flood waters,all of the people herded their livestock there untilthe water receded. The Garyville Northern continuedto run during this time to allow people an avenueout of the area or to receive supplies.

    Essie Albert Penabler, a very sweet lady, lets justsay younger than White Mule, was not old enoughto have ridden the Garyville Northern, but oldenough to remember its significance to her familywhich mostly was from Dutch Bayou area near the

    mouth of Blind River at Lake Maurepas.( Herparents are buried somewhere around Shell Beachon Lake Maurepas, and the graves are unmarkedand unknown today due to erosion) For survival

    Murphy J. White Mule Brown

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    reasons, the family had moved to New Orleans sothat father and children could attain work. Ms. Essieremembers her mother always talking of the timeher favorite niece, Louise Albert Bovia, while living inNew Orleans, became ill and died during anoperation at the Charity Hospital. Her mother andothers reflected that in order to get Louise back toWhitehall, she was placed on the Garyville Northernand her body shipped for burial in the WhitehallCommunity Cemetery.

    Death certificate records show that Mrs. LouiseAlbert Bovia, a white female, 30 years old died inCharity Hospital on the 20th of December, 1923,and that the remains were shipped to LivingstonParish for burial. The Whitehall Community Cemeteryis still located behind Whitehall Grocery and HooversGrocery on Hwy 22.

    The Garyville Northern crossed what is now Hwy22 at its intersection with the Bazile Road, whichalso follows on the rail bed of the old railroad. In

    fact, just south on Bazile Road is the remains of adirt pit, approximately 15 acres, which was thesource of the dirt fill to make the railroad bed. Therailroads path is less than a few hundred yards fromthe Whitehall Community Cemetery.

    French Settlement born A. R Ray Matherne, 91,remembers a great deal of the times of his youthand proudly explains the heritage of his Germanancestry in a French settlement. His father, FrancoisAnatole Matherne, and mother, Manilia JosephineAydel, had moved to this area from the GermanCoast (The German Coast was what is now St.Charles, St. John and the part of St. James Parishwest bank communities of Vacherie and backVacherie. The French Settlement Area was called theFrench Coast) in order to find fertile land for farming

    and means to raise a family.Francois found just the right combination. He was

    a farmer, a trapper, and a logger (not necessarily inany order). He did what he had to do to provide forhis family and provide for a better quality of life. Rayrecalls his father leaving on Monday mornings tocatch the Garyville Northern at Verdun to get to theLutcher Moore Cypress Mill in Gramercy/Lutcher orthe Opdenweyer/Alcuis mill in Sorrento (His fatherworked at both mills at different intervals) forhis weeks worth of logging to returnSaturday afternoon.

    Ray verifies the same crevasse flood in the1920s as White Mule Brown. Trying to make apoint about flooding today, Ray explains that whileall the fields were flooded then, not one house wentunder water. His reasoning is that generation knewhow and where or where not to build a house. Healso gives credence to Ms. Essies remembrance toher parents being buried on Shell Beach. Ray recallsvisiting the graveyard there as a youth that has sincedisappeared without a trace, eroded by stormsand time.

    Interesting enough in its own right is the fact thatRay and his wife Rachel Marie, obviously with hisfathers genes and choice of a good woman, afterboth retiring from the Ascension Parish schoolsystem, set up a lumber mill operation on familyproperty in French Settlement. Ray and Rachel, intheir late 70s and 80s, logged and milled enoughlumber for them to personally build their present over2000 square foot modern home using 19 differentvarieties of lumber. His father lived to the age of 97and his mother to 103. Rays new project is todocument the migration of his German ancestors tothis area in a book he is putting together.

    Amelus Joseph Dupuy, born in 1869 and died1937, was a native of Whitehall. While working forthe Lyons Cypress Lumber Company, he was drivinga hand rail car on the Lyons dummy line tracksrunning through Whitehall, a short time before it waschanged to the Garyville Northern. A lumber traincame around a curve on the track and ran over him,severing his right leg off just below the hip.

    Not to be deemed as handicapped from this,Amelus, moved to the newly formed town of McElroyin Ascension Parish around 1913 and bought the

    largest two story house there and started a boardinghouse for the workers of that mill. The picture hereof the McElroy boarding house clearly show a one legAmelus standing proudly on the front porch in hisSunday best.

    That picture was given to me over 30 years agowhen I started my mill research but the people onthe porch remained a mystery. Anyone could plainlysee one of the men only had one leg. Whileresearching the Garyville Northern this year, I cameacross Majorie Dupuy Goodings description of herchildhood memories about her father losing his legand buying the boarding house in McElroy. Onemystery solved.

    Ms. Gooding also recalls, while the train was inoperation, her cousin Noah LeBourgeois and another

    man with the last name Fontenot were killed bylightning while working on the tracks of the Garyville

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    Northern near Whitehall. White Mule Brown alsoremembered that tragedy also.

    Ruth Fontenot Dupuy can still be found in thevery out of the way outpost called Bear Island orBlack Lake. She is a few months younger thanWhite Mule Brown and also fondly remembers herrides growing up on the Garyville Northern goingfrom Whitehall to Livingston. Ruth recalls thatpassage on the train also as an emergency escaperoute when flood waters came often to this isolatedarea of Livingston Parish.

    Bear Island (Black Lake) is only one of the manynamed places in the quadrant bounded by Lake

    Maurepas on the East side, Amite River on theNorth and West sides and Blind River & McElroySwamp on the South side. Inhabitants enjoy lifemainly on the few ridges contained herein andtotally depend on La. Hwy 22 as the means ofingress and egress to the outside world. Manytimes, including as recently as August 2012, rainfallby named storms or weather patterns of unnamedmeteorological consequence has flooded Hwy 22.The flooding would begin near the Hwy 22 & 16intersection on one end and Hwy 22 at the Killiancommunity on the other completely leaving thesepoor people virtually stranded, even in this

    modern world.In order not to make this article too political, I

    will not name the names of the past and presentpoliticians that Ms. Dupuy recalls have failed todeliver an emergency outlet for them. However, shenamed a number since the 1960s that allegedlymade that promise. That was to be accomplishedby using the rail bed of the Garyville NorthernRailroad, still mostly intact, to connect Hwy 22 atthe Bazile Road intersection with Highway 63 atVerdun. The main cost of this project would be abridge over the Amite River at Clovis Arceneauxsold homestead. Hwy 63 to Frost, Interstate 12

    and the city of Livingston at Hwy 190 alreadyutilized the right away and rail bed of the oldGaryville Northern track.

    Representative Clay Schexnayder has a duelcause with this situation and the old GaryvilleNorthern right of way. First he doesnt want Ms.Dupuy or anyone else saying he has broken anypromises yet due to this being his first term andaspirations to serve a few more. Clay told me thathe is well aware of not only the very real need forthe communities of Chinquapin, Whitehall,Maurepas and Black Lake to have a backup escaperoute in case of the worst case scenario with our

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    propensity to hurricanes lately, but he is also on theback side of the other promises, because most weremade when he was a very young man.

    Clay explains the possibility of this area beingincluded in one of the plans for the loop, if fundingis ever available, around Baton Rouge that wouldconnect Interstate 10 and Interstate 12 to anuntold amount of people and communities. He saysone of those proposals uses the Hwy 63 road forthe loop and would cross the Amite River andcontinue to Whitehall and beyond. Clay wishesMurphy White Mule Brown, Ms. Essie Penablerand Ms. Dupuy could live to see it.

    Clay also fondly remembers his grandfather, agame warden for the state Wildlife & Fisheries,Harold Pocahontas Schexnayder, relating to hisclan at family outings about his utilizing the oldrailroad right away when he ventured into themassive swamps to catch some of the manypoachers and illegal hunters of the day. The raillines also made stand rows for the hundreds oflegal hunting clubs that operated and still hunt inthose swamps for the last 100 years.

    Another possible future use of this old landmark,before it is lost, is being championed by CarlMonica and others in the Garyville community. Carl,one of the main proponents of a mission to turn theold Lyons Lumber Office into a first rate museum, abattle which appears to be losing at present, has

    some grand plans for the enshrinement of thishistoric location and railway bed. Through hisefforts, the Secretary of State has returnedownership of the Garyville Timber Museum buildingand land back to the local non-profit. This historicalgem, given to the Secretary of State in the 1990s,has been abandoned for the last few years due tobudget cuts. Once the transfer is complete the planis to get funding to restore electricity and roofrepairs which hopefully will begin its restoration andthe many valuable articles and documents that it

    has and would enshrine.Carl is also seeking funding to create a tracks to

    trails initiative for the Garyville Community and St.John Parish which would provide for hiking, walkingand biking along part of the old Garyville Northernpathway as it leaves the old town section andcommunity. Hopefully others will feel and soonshare Carls enthusiasm and realize the opportunityhere to provide benefits to the people of this areaand beyond with this as a stopping point for thethousands of tourists that already visit nearby

    plantations every day on tour buses.There is a specific need to document the

    lumbering industry in this part of the state. Theeconomic value to Louisiana at the beginning of the20th century, before oil and gas became viable, isundisputable. Most of the families, which havebeen here in Louisiana for the last 100 years, cantrace their roots to the lumber industry. While mostwere seeking the expansion of Manifest Destinyby heading west, a very large group of people fromall roots were coming to Louisiana to make a living

    for their families in the many mill towns that havemostly been removed by time and the elements.

    The Garyville Museum location is ideal for a jointendeavor of the mill towns nearby. Hopefully Carlwill continue to fight for and be rewarded with thefunding to accomplish his and others' dream of aworld class Cypress Lumber Museum and trail headin Garyville.

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    Many years ago my wife and Iwere approached by our niece,Kaycee, about buying a set of

    very expensive kitchen knives.At the time I didn't think Icould afford to spend that muchmoney on a set of knives.

    Kaycee was a young teenagerand was trying to earn a fewbucks, so we decided to helpher out. To this day I havenever regretted buying the knifeset. It's unbelievable how things

    with a high degree of qualityfeels and performs incomparison to things with less

    value. It's true that I could haveused the knives that I alreadyhad and continued on to thisday. But because I made that

    investment I now know how agood knife is supposed to feeland perform.

    I'm the kind of person thatdoesn't like to throw anythingaway until it's completely wornout.That's just the way I am. Istill use old Ambassador 5000series reels, speed stick rods, anold A-5 Browning shotgun andthe list goes on and on. I'm

    very successful with the use ofthis equipment. At the end of

    the day my wrist and shouldermight hurt a little more thanthe next person with updatedequipment does, but I usuallyhave my share of the game orfish.

    You don't need a fiftythousand dollar bass boat tocatch fish. A three thousandshotgun won't get you moreducks than a three hundreddollar gun will. Standard basicdeer rifles will kill deer as cleanas the most expensive version

    will. Low dollar fishing rods andreels have probably caught more

    fish than the most expensiveones have. Turkey calls madetwenty years ago kills turkeys

    just like today's calls do.Being attached to items such

    as guns or rods and reels is aproblem I have. At the time I

    purchased these items they werethe top of the line. Maybe that's

    why they still perform today.The problem is that the industrycontinues to upgrade sportingequipment. Myself and probablymost of you can't afford to buynew equipment every time theyreinvent the wheel. Throughoutthe years I have have naturallybought several new guns, rods,reels, boots, clothing, etc. Onething that I have learned is that

    there is no comparison betweengood and poor quality. Outdoorsports can be very testing attimes so you do needdependable equipment forsuccess, pleasure, and safety.There's no sense in goingbankrupt to support yourfishing or hunting hobbies but

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    Having survived the twogreatest debacles of 2012-theend of the Mayan Calendar andthe Chick Fil-A Bowl-we nowturn our weary but optimisticeyes toward the year 2013.

    Never mind that manyhigh-rise buildings skip the

    number 13 floor altogether andthat even the greatest scientificminds at NASA were hesitantto assign the number 13 to the

    Apollo project between 12and 14 (Houston, we havea problem.).

    I mean, the great Miamiquarterback Dan Marino worenumber 13 and look at howmany Super Bowls he won.

    Oh-uh-maybe that wasntsuch a great example.

    Anyway, any nickel-dimeblogger can give you a Year in

    Review column about whatsalready happened. But onlyCrystal Ball Bill can provide a

    look into the future-a Year inPreview, if you will-on what toexpect in the ominously-numbered 2013.

    As one great Americanphilosopher Lou Holtz once soaptly put it-Thats why theLord put our eyes in front of

    our head instead of the back-tosee where were going and notwhere weve been.

    By the way, is Lou off sui-cide-watch yet after that slight-ly-off Notre Dame prediction?

    Lets begin with the badnews first

    January

    Like a page taken fromStephen Kings book TheStand where 98 per cent of

    the U.S. population gets wipedout by a mutant flu virus,everybody in the country gets

    sick.Louisianas Boy Genius

    governor-now the self-pro-claimed Mahatma Jindal-ordersall public schools and hospitalsclosed to help stop theepidemic and maybe save thestate a few million dollars.

    He then hires Dr. Oz as ahealth consultant at a salary of$750,000 a week.

    The good news is that thedisease wipes out 98 membersof the U.S. Senate leavingNanook of the North(Ind.-Alaska) and Anita Lei(Luau Party-Hawaii) as the onlystanding members.

    The Dynamic Duo seizesthe moment to pass measuresthat ban assault rifles, cut theFederal budget, reduce taxes onthe middle class and create a

    tariff-free market for whaleblubber and pineapples-all by aunanimous 2-0 vote-thus

    exceeding the total output ofthe U.S. Congress over the past20 years.

    But theres more trouble in

    February

    New Orleans puts on her best

    face for the Super Bowl for allvisitors-except for one.NFL Commissioner Roger

    Goodell is forced to travel in abullet-proof Popemobile type

    vehicle after an anonymous tipthat a bounty has been offeredto anyone who can take outthe man responsible for ruiningthe Saints season.

    Tensions run so high thatgorilla activist Jane Goodall ischop-blocked while visiting theprimate cage at Audubon Zooafter being mistaken for the

    Commissioners wife.Goodell survives to see

    Peyton Manning and Denver

    20-20 Vision in the Year 20-13 orI Can See Clearly Now, the Rain Is Gone

    by Bill Delaune

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    burn Atlanta in the big gameafter most of the Falcon team isstricken with food poisoning.

    Suspicions arise when itsrevealed the NFC champs ate in

    Archies place-Mannings-thenight before and the formerSaint quarterback does nothingto put them to rest.

    I always hated those DirtyBirds, the old red-head drawls.

    The madness doesnt endin

    March

    LSUs surprising basketballteam crashes the NCAA FinalFour led by 7-3 center AndrewDel Piero-a former tuba playerin the Tiger Band.

    Del Piero, the feel-good storyof the year, also makes a big hit

    with the patriotic crowd whenhe leads the team into theGeorgia Dome playing John

    Phillip Sousas Stars andStripes Forever on his tuba.Coincidentally on the same

    day, the New OrleansFairgrounds-in a desperategimmick to boost attendance-hosts some zebra races on itsSt. Patricks Day card. The

    winner of the first race-anAfrican zebra named TarzanStripes Forever.

    April

    Its tax season and in

    Washington Nanook and Anitaare still rolling, this timepassing a bill by the same 2-0

    vote to force huge corporationslike Exxon and GeneralElectric-and anyone else whomakes over a bazillion dollars-to pay their fair share of taxes.

    Several owners of professionalsports franchises protest threat-ening to move their teams tothe Cayman Islands since thats

    where theyre hiding theirmoney anyway.

    The Hunt family-long-time

    billionaire owners on the NFLscene-claim an exemption fromthe professional team ownerstax because they are associated

    with the Kansas City Chiefs.Theres no way those guys

    can be viewed as professionals,pleads K.C. owner Clark Hunt.

    May

    Following in the hoof printsof his 2012 Kentucky Derby

    winner Ill Have Another,trainer Doug Milkshake

    ONeil saddles another champi-on from the same stable.

    His name-Hes Had Enough.

    (Seriously, thats the name of areally nice 3-year old out inCalifornia. Keep a bloodshoteye out for him.)

    In other controversialracing

    June

    Lance Armstrong finallyadmits to using illegal drugs

    saying the whole mess createdby the anti-doping commissionwas just a huge misunderstand-ing.

    All this time I thought itwas the anti-moping peoplewho were after me, said thepopular cyclist. I have nevermoped a day in my life. Imean, would you, if you got toride a bike for a living and hangout with Sheryl Crow and theOlsen twins.

    When questioned about theabsence of his current girl-

    friend, Armstrong shrugged, Ibought her a bicycle and nowshes pedaling her stuff all overtown.

    As Armstrongs teammatesoften urged him, You tell emLance and dont

    July

    Organizers of the Baja Run inTijuana-a grueling, 1,000 mileoff-road race-fearing boobytraps, sabotage and Tattacksfrom warring factions of the

    Mexican drug cartels, launch asearch for a safer venue to holdtheir annual event.

    Among the proposedalternate sites is a stretch ofHighway 73 in Prairieville,ranging from the MississippiRiver to the Airline Highway.

    After surveying the stripduring a weekday afternoon

    when plant traffic combinedwith school traffic and aweaving, merging band fromthe Cottage Inn locked in afutile attempt to dodge orange

    pylons, barricades and thewashed out ruts and potholes,race officials decided to keepthe race in Mexico.

    Highway 73 is just toodangerous for our drivers, saidBaja spokesman Cruz Contolla.Well take our chances withthe cartels and pipe bombs.

    August

    Under pressure frombig-money TAF members whothreaten to cut off funds if

    action isnt taken, LSU CoachLes Miles agrees to hire a newoffensive coordinator.

    Unfortunately, the some-times-confused Miles-in anattempt to bring in former Jetscoach Tony Sparano to kick-start the anemic offense-insteadhires New Jersey mob bossTony Soprano.

    When an Advocate reporterasks about his contract,Soprano bluntly replies, Theonly contract you have to worry

    about is the one I put outon you.On the strategy side, Soprano

    promises an offense full of bighits and bootlegging activities.

    Miles defends his choiceby saying, Tony appears to beone of the most offensivepeople I know-with the possibleexception of Nick Saban, ofcourse.

    September

    The new fall TV season gets

    an unexpected boost in the rat-ings from a new reality showfeaturing the PGA Tourshottest singles.

    Host Tiger Woods, freshfrom his first major win in

    years, welcomes British Openchamp Adam Scott, Masters

    winner Rory McIlroy and U.S.Open champ Keegan Bradleyfor a foursome that ABCpromises will do a littleswinging-and not just on thegolf course.

    When the network censors

    the first working title-Playingthe Outer and Inner Courseand Bradley balks at entering astrip joint, the show is renamedThree Men and a Maybe.

    October

    After the New Orleans Saintsdrop a 92-91 shootout to theNew England Patriots despite13 touchdown passes by DrewBrees, Coach Sean Paytonfinally decides to make somechanges on defense.

    First to go is longtime safetyRoman Harper, the prematurelygrey-haired veteran who hasbeen burned more times thanJason in the Friday the 13thmovies.

    We discovered Roman hadbeen lying about his age,revealed Payton. He thoughtit would be cute to use Romannumerals on the age blank ofhis bio-partly because of hisname and partly because theSuper Bowl XLVII people do it.

    We saw the XXX and

    assumed he was 30 but wedidnt notice the L in front thatRoman tried to hide. That

    makes him 80 years old andexplains the grey hair and hiscover deficiencies.

    November

    With an SEC West show-down looming between LSUand Texas A&M, the Aggiessuffer a devastating blow whenHeisman winner Johnny

    Manziel is struck by a car whilehelping an old lady across thestreet in College Station.

    They just walked rightout in front of me-I had analmost yellow light, said thedriver of the car identified asLuca Brazi of Atlantic City. Hethen added more defiantly, Iguess this was one DodgeJohnny Football couldntdodge.

    Manziel was listed asdoubtful for the LSU game buthis high school coach said the

    elusive quarterback once beatBridge City in a wheelchair.Brazi, who denied any

    connection with Tiger coachTony Soprano and was beingheld without bail, didnt helphis cause when he stated,Maybe if his family hadntdropped the i from the end oftheir name years ago this

    wouldnt have happened.

    December

    Despite finishing 12th in the

    final BCS standings, LSUreceives a special invitation toparticipate in the new 4-gameplayoff when ExecutiveDirector Bill Hancocks wifeand grandchildren mysteriouslydisappear-just hours before thetelevised announcement.

    Les Miles emphatically deniesthat offensive coordinator TonySoprano has anything to do

    with the kidnapping but adds,But he has been as asset toour program in many waysbehind the scenes.

    On the political scene,President Obama announceshis 2013 State of the Unionaddress will fall on February 2-Groundhogs Day.

    A Republican spokesman isquick to issue a statement.

    This is indeed an ironicjuxtaposition of events. Oneinvolves a meaningless ritual in

    which we look to aninsignificant creature of littleintelligence for prognostication.

    And the other involves agroundhog.

    Happy New Year,everyone!

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    Twas the night before Christmas & all through the house.Ma ny cre ature s we re stirring , even a mouse!The termites they dine in walls oh so snug.

    Ant s and roache s nest led .. .even bed bug s!The stockings were hung where the spiders do pass,

    and fire ants build castles in the tall grass.

    The family so frightful and waiting for aid, to stopall the critters and nuisance they made.

    When what to their wondering eyes should appear,but a J&J s truc k approachi ng so near .

    He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,From the bottom of the porch! to the top of the wall!

    un de r the stai rs . . .he cover ed it all .Dash away.. . dash away bugs he exclaimed and

    give this family only peace to remain.

    His eyes how they t winkled when all bugs weregone and told the new family his work he had done.No ne ed to wo rry he said wi th a smi le, youll be in

    good hands, J&J goes the extra mile.

    And I he ard hi m excl aim, ere he dr ove out of sight ,"Happy Holidays to all , and to all a bug free night."

    HAVE A SAFE & HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON FROMJ&J EXTERMINATINGSHIELDING WHATS

    NEAR AND DEAR FOR 56 YEARS.

    BUGGIN OUTwith Ron Barattini

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    The Best

    of 2012 &Resolutionsfor 2013

    Can you believe it. Anotheryear has come and gone. At thistime I like to reflect on thehighlights of 2012 and maybemake a resolution or two.

    Ringing in theNew Year.

    I went out on New Years Eveto ring in the New Year. Met

    with some friends and wasintroduced to an attractive

    woman. I think she was givingme the cold shoulder. Instead ofsaying talk to the hand she saidtalk to the hair. I asked if Icould call her. She said,Yes, When Im Bald!

    You Better Say Yes!

    My son Michael asked andJacquee said yes. It looks like amodern day shotgun wedding.Not the case, Just the bride-to-be and groomsmen with a coldfeet remedy.

    Little PrairieHome Wins Best

    Christmas Display

    You might be thinking howin the world did the double-

    wide trailer win the ChristmasDisplay Award over the modern

    well built house. Simple. I usedthe current political climate asthe baromter for judgement.

    1. Why should the best housewin?

    2. Its not about commonsense. Since I own the winninghouse and created this award. I

    made up the rules. So take it orleave it. I just wanted it.Congratulations Lorne and

    Pam for having the best housebut you got the big jip.Honorable Mention.

    36

    Thoughts from Bully1

    2

    2

    3

    3

    1

    WINNER

    HONORABLE MENTION

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    Jana & Joe BobGot Married

    It was an exciting day whenfamilies gathered to witness themarital vows of Joe BobLeFleur and Jana Rambin.

    Janas Grandmother,

    Ms. Faye, attended along withmother Bettie LeFleur of

    Ville Platte.Ascension Magazine captured

    a rare event. Proud father-of-the-bride, Mike Rambin,serving punch. Rarer than Big

    Foot sighting.As the happy couple exited,Joe Bob was seen doing a Salsadance in happiness down thedriveway toward the Honey

    Moon vehicle.

    Photo of the Year

    Wow. The Best of the Best

    photo of the year. Photo takenby Ascension Magazines DottieGodberry of Bailey (left) andCasey (right) demonstrating the

    carefree life on the beach.Congratulations for your win,its the best, one of a kind and I

    wish their was prize money.Jipped again.

    Blue Pops inthe New Year

    It was an exciting day whenBlue realized he didnt need toread the instructions onpopping the champaignepopper firework. He had beentaught not to pull the string.

    Bullys New YearResolution

    It is a New Year and I needa new cause. I thought I mightconsider the thoughts ofenvironmentalist and help savethe planet. Maybe I should takea second look at the climate ofsociety and maybe take a

    reflective look at myself.I believe in nature and all sheprovides. The wonders of our

    37

    4

    5

    6

    45

    6

    7

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    world are unlimited. The hori-zons are beautiful morning andafternoons. The nights and dayssparkle and warm us. Why

    wouldnt I follow any environ-mental laws that are in place toprotect Mother Earth. Why?

    You ask why? Because of enviro-mentalist. Thats Why.

    When common sense goes outthe window you lose myattention to respect your cause.

    Let me explain. I spent sometime in Colorado over theHolidays with my sister. Onemorning we drove to the airportat 6 in the morning and parkedin the cell phone lot. This area isa parking lot designed fordrivers to sit and wait for a cellphone call alerting them theirguest has landed and pick me upin 20 minutes.

    This particular morning Iaccompanied my sister to theairport to retrieve holiday guestbut needed to park in the cellphone lot. It was 28 degreesoutside when we parked. The

    wind was howling and I wasglad my sisters modern car hadheated seats. She then turnedthe car off. I mentioned to herthat if you dont run the heater

    we are going to freeze. Shepointed out that the sign at thefront of the car tells us to cut offthe engine or she could beticketed. There is a municipalcode allowing cars to only idlefor 5 minutes while sitting in

    cell phone lot.You got to be kidding me.People can freeze in thisenvironment and they actually

    voted in and ordinance to saveMother Earth 5 minutes ata time. There is a word thatcomes to mine. Nuts.

    So I changed my New Yearresolution direction to be moreenvironmentally friendlybecause I will not be a part of amovement that is down-right-dumb. Im not going to be asheep following a good

    message with a good cause tagline that is simply proganda.I then mentioned to my

    sister she had 4 minutes 54seconds left of idling timebefore she became a criminal.Please crank the car.

    I have a Smart,Smart Phone

    Last month I had the oppor-tunity to spends 5 days at thecamp. It was a beautiful fewdays and cold. Just like I like it.

    7

    8

    8

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    I love the crystal clear fullmoon nights. The temperaturesin the 20s and Im enjoyingthe camp fire. I looked aroundand noticed the family dog,Chipper, was missing. I startedlooking for him with the flashlight and he was no where to befound outside. I went inside thecamp and there he was. He wasin my sons bed. His head wason the pillow and under hiscovers. Now that is a smartdog. Hes in bed under thecovers in 28 degree weather.Im standing around freezingby a fire. I pulled out my smartphone to take a photo of himunder the covers. I opened thecamera app and my smartphone had a message across thescreen. It read, Too cold totake photo. Now that is asmart phone. However I wassmart enough to hold thephone at a distance and let

    the fire change the phonestemperature and I was able totake the photo.

    When I was driving homefrom my trip the radio reportedthat 17 million new smartphone plans had been activatedsince Christmas. As I continuedown the highway the number

    of 17 million new texters onthe road enters my thoughts. Iset the cruise at 65 and paidclose attention all the wayhome. Better get some goodinsurance.

    The Reason forthe Season

    Its a Holly Jolly Christmas

    was on the radio as I was

    driving on Hwy 42 and noticed

    a young woman pulling weeds

    and manicuring this road side

    cross. Suddenly I realized she

    must be a family member of the

    young man that the cross is

    there for. I know a little about

    the incident but I can not

    imagine the emotions this

    young woman was experienc-

    ing. Immediately the worries

    about the hussle and bussle of

    life settled into a calm place of

    thanks for my blessings.

    My heart goes out to the

    family of this road side cross. I

    now know how trivial my stress

    of life is. This cross will stand as

    a daily reminder to show love

    each and every day. God Bless

    the Family of this Cross.

    39

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    Yield:2 servings

    Prep Time:15 minutes

    Cook Time:10 minutes

    Ingredients:

    12 jumbo shrimp- peeled &deveined (10/15 or 16/20)4 slices of lemon2 cloves minced garlic2 tsp finely sliced green onions1 tsp fresh thyme1 tsp fresh basil1 tsp fresh rosemary cup extra virgin olive oil cup waterSalt and black pepper to taste.

    Method:

    In a large saut pan heat your olive oil over mediumhigh heat. When the olive oil is hot add the shrimpone at a time. Cook for about 2 to 3 minutes thenturn the shrimp over. After turning the shrimp add

    your fresh garlic. Do not allow your garlic to brown.Let garlic cook for 1 minute then add your water, andfresh herbs. Allow to reduce for another minute thenfinish with the fresh lemon slices. Salt and pepper theshrimp to taste and serve immediately.

    Goes great with steamed vegetablesHave a happy, healthy and delicious New Year!!!!

    Healthy Garlic & Herb Shrimp

    Executive Chef

    Ben Jarreau &Sous ChefBrandon Kling

    Cooking Gourmet at Homewith SNOS SEAFOOD & STEAKS

    A great dish to start the New Year

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    Ronnie Melancon Mike & Steve Broussard

    Benny Stanley

    CJ Parent

    Kenny Cornett

    A Look Back at thetht2012 Swamp PopMusicians & Groups.

    Van Broussard

    Jerry Acosta

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    Mark BabinRandy Carpenter

    Id like to extend my warmest thanks to the families and musicians that letme in their homes this past year. Ive always known you as musicians now

    I know you as friends. Thank you for your time and kindness.

    Roland Doucet

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    Latils LandingHoumas House Plantation & Gardens

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