Arguments and Marriage - What is Your Groundhog Day Issue?

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All relationships involve disagreements and indeed arguments from time to time. It is common for couples who have been married for a significant period of time to have what could be termed a “Groundhog Day” issue.

You may remember the movie where Bill Murray woke up day after day after day and lived the same day over and over again. That is the premise of this issue, where you find yourself rehashing the same issue over and over again whenever you and your spouse have an argument. This can be irritating and very frustrating for both of you.

If you are feeling like you are experiencing this symptom and are having issues in your relationship because of it, you are probably right. Over time, if not addressed, this pattern of “picking at the same scab” can indeed cause damage to your relationship and your marriage. So today, let’s look at how you can resolve this and perhaps put your “Groundhog Day” issue to bed once and for all.

1) Identify Your Groundhog Day IssueThe first step in resolving this conflict is to identity what the issue is that keeps being brought up again and again. For some, this is very easy and the issue is obvious. For others, it may take a bit closer look. If you feel like you are not completely positive of what keeps being brought into your arguments with your spouse, begin to make notes and perhaps a list of the issues that we involved in your disagreement.

This practice accomplishes two things. First, it will help you to stay conscious of your interactions with your spouse. And secondly, and more to the point, it will help you to identify patterns and recurring themes that come up when you have an argument. These patterns are what will show you what your core issues are.

2) Bring Up The IssueOnce you feel like you have identified the recurring issue, bring it up to your spouse and discuss it. Point out to them that this issue keeps being thrown out there and it is something that you return to over and over during a conflict. Ask them if they have noticed the same thing.

More often than not, your spouse will already know that this issue is indeed one that is brought up time and time again. But particularly when it is documented, it can be a surprise just how often it is.

3) Talk Out The IssueOnce the two of you have agreed as to what the Groundhog Day issue truly is, ask yourselves why it is you have not resolved it to this point. Maybe you simply need to hear from your spouse that they hear you and respect your opinion, but they simply disagree or have a different viewpoint on the matter. Often times it is simply an issue that you or your spouse feel like they never received an apology for.

Whatever the issue is, it is best to drag it out into the open and discuss it with your spouse when emotions are not high and you can examine them and discuss them in a calm and rational manner.

Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes articles focusing on helping people save their relationships and marriages. Her articles are a must read for anyone who is looking to either salvage or further enhance their relationship.

This is just a quick overview to help you to understand the first steps to resolving your Groundhog Day issue. However, to fully protect your marriage from damage during conflict, I strongly recommend for you to download this FREE course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click here now for instant access.