are you a careful thinker? - child & family counseling · 2019. 12. 10. · our bodies react...

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Rationale:Cognitive restructuring is a core component of CBT in which the client

1) identifies the unhelpful thoughts, faulty assumptions, and irrational beliefs that accompany unhealthy stress and2) formulates alternative ways of thinking that are more accurate and helpful.

This promotes cognitive flexibility.Typically, this restructuring begins during CB treatment sessions, in the context of a dialog between the clinician and theclient. In working with child clients, it can be difficult to hold a child’s attention for conversations of this sort, so strategiesto make the process more concrete and hands-on are helpful. This activity uses the traditional ABC model of CBT (Acti-vating Event → Belief → Consequences), but visualizes it in form of a path with two alternatives.

Application/Treatment modality: Individual, group, family

Goals: With this activity, children:• learn that by changing the way they think about a stressful situation, they can change the outcome.• develop cognitive flexibility by brainstorming for “helpful thoughts.”

Materials Needed:1. Top 4 Stress-Busters2. I Can Choose! diagram3. Be a Careful Thinker4. Here’s What Happened cards. You will need one or more generic cards (page 16) forexamples during the introduction) and at least one card created by the child about a real-life stressful situation. (For the initial demonstrationusing the child’s real-life situation, avoid choosing situations that are difficult or complex.)

Note: This activity has three parts: a brief introduction, a demonstration using a sample card,and a demonstration using a card that the child has made. You may want to demonstratemultiple times with sample cards Once the materials have been demonstrated, they can beused in any treatment session to help with cognitive restructuring.

Step 1: BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO THE I Can Choose DIAGRAM1. Review the Top 4 Stress Busters. Tell the child:

This activity is about Stress Buster #1: “Choose the best way of thinking.”2. Show the I Can Choose diagram.

This diagram shows a path that splits into two paths. Let’s start at the bottom of the path. We are going along in our life, and something happens.

3. Place your sample card on the path in the designated spot. (We’ll use the card pictured here as an example, but choose whichever card would be best for your client.)

Let’s imagine that someone else got the part that I wanted in the play.4. Demonstrate that an irrational or unhelpful way of thinking has consequences:

a) Point to the thought bubble on the path on the left: Let’s imagine that I start thinking all sorts of thoughts about how unfair it is.

b) Continue on that path and point to the word Feelings:I begin to feel very upset.

c) Continue on that path and point to the words Actions & Attitude:I get so upset say and do things that I later regret.

d) Point to the stop sign. Then I feel even worse. I wish I could STOP feeling bad.

6. Go back to Here’s What Happened card at the start of the diagram.Do you know that by finding a different way to think about what happened, we can avoid feeling stuck in upsetting feelings?

7. Point to the arrow on the right side of the diagram. By thinking about the situation in a different way, we can feel more calm and ready to deal with what is happening. I’m going to

show you what I’m talking about. (Continued on next page.)

ARE YOU A CAREFUL THINKER?

Someone elsegets picked for thepart you wanted inthe play.


Are You a Careful Thinker? Instructions (continued)

Step 2: DEMONSTRATE THE I Can Choose DIAGRAM WITH A SAMPLE CARD:

Continuing with the either the same sample card or another one, demonstrate the use of the diagram. This time you willinvolve the child and also write directly on the diagram.

1. Place the card on the path where indicated.

2. Complete the left half of the diagram.• Give an example of an automatic, unhelpful thought or belief and write it in the thought bubble.• Ask the child how someone is likely to feel with that thought in their mind. Write the feeling(s) on the path above the bubble.• Then ask the child how a person might act with those thoughts and feelings. Write the possible actions on the path as as well.

3. Complete the right half of the diagram. Complete in the same order,demonstrating how a more rational and/or helpful perspective can lead to differentemotions and actions

• Give an example of a more helpful thought or belief. Write it in the thought bubble.• Ask the child how someone is likely to feel with that thought in their mind.

Write the feeling(s) on the path above the bubble.• Then ask the child how a person might act with those thoughts and feelings. Write the possible actions on the path as as well.

4. Summarize by referring back to the Top 4 Stress Busters. Explain to the child that the I Can Choose diagramshows a way to use the top two stress busters when you find yourself in a stressful situation: 1st, stop thinking and doing that aren’t helpful (left path) and 2nd, choose more helpful thoughts instead (right path). Point out the various parts of the diagram as you explain:

In our example, the stressful situation was that someone else got the part that I reallywanted. My thought or belief about what happened was that it wasn’t fair that I didn’t getit. I felt angry. I told everyone I was going to quit the theatre group. Then I felt evenworse.But if I STOP that thought about it being unfair and l look for another way to think aboutwhat happened, I find out that there are lots of other ways:

- I can think about all the fun I have had meeting new people,- I can think about the other things I can do for the play and about the new things Ican learn,- I can think about what I’ll do differently next time there’s a try-out for a play.

When I CHOOSE this more helpful way of thinking, I still feel disappointed. But I don’tfeel so angry. And I don’t feel so stressed that I want to quit the group. Instead, I stickwith the group and end up having fun and learning new things.

.


Are You a Careful Thinker? Instructions (continued)Step 3: DEMONSTRATE THE I Can Choose DIAGRAM WITH THE CHILD’S SITUATION CARD:

Using a Here’s What Happened card created by the child, go through the same process with the I Can Choose diagram.1. Place the card on the path where indicated.

2. Complete the left half of the diagram.

a. Begin with the emotions that the child experienced in the stressful situation. Write the emotions on the path.b. Then work backward to the thoughts that underlie the emotions. Write the thoughts in the bubble.

Note: Realize that children may be unaware of some of the automatic thoughts, beliefs and assumptions thatunderlie their distress. They may need a lot of help in articulating these perceptions. Ask questions such as:“I wonder what you were telling yourself when you felt so angry and upset?” Encourage them to generateseveral possible thoughts. The more accurately they can identify underlying unhelpful thoughts, the moreproductive they will be in generating meaningful alternatives. (Older children may benefit from learning aboutcommon “thinking traps.” )

c. Finally ask the child about their “actions and attitude” in that situation. Record those on the path.

3. Complete the right half of the diagram.a. Complete the thought bubble first. Tell the child:

Let’s brainstorm for other ways to think about what happened. Let’s see if we can find some thoughts thatare both true and helpful.

Use the Be A Careful Thinker worksheet (pictured below left) to brainstorm for alternative perspectives, writing themin the thought bubbles. Or use the Encouraging Words postcards (pictured below right.)

• Encourage the child to fill in all of the bubbles: this promotescognitive flexibility.

• After the brainstorming process is complete, have the childselect those thoughts that he or she thinks would be mosthelpful.

• Write them on the thought bubble on the right side of I CanChoose diagram.

b. Ask the child to imagine, with those thoughts, what emotions they would have. Write the feelings on the path.

c. Ask the child to imagine, with those thoughts and emotions, what their actions and attitude would be. Record those on the path.

4. Summarize by referring back to the Top 4 Stress Busters.Encourage the child to make a commitment to being a careful thinkerand, when stressful things happen, pausing and choosing the bestway to think about the situation.

NOTE: Once these materials have been introduced, theycan be used at any time as an aid to helping children slow downand think about their reaction to events in their lives.


3. CALM your body.When a cat is upset because it sees a barking dog, its body reacts: it tenses itsmuscles and arches its back. Its breathing changes and it hisses. The cat is readyto run away or even to fight! But when it feels safe, it relaxes its body, breathesnormally and purrs.

Our bodies react when we feel upset and sometimes it’s hard to calm down. Learning how to relaxyour body is a very good way of dealing with stress. Even if nothing else changes, having a relaxedbody will help you think more clearly and just feel better.

4. Make a good PLAN.Whatever has happened, you will feel better if you have a plan sothat you’ll know what to do in the future. And one good way tomake a plan is to have someone help you.

Two heads can be better than one in coming up with ideas for your plan. Plus, theother person can help you remember to follow the plan. And if the first plan you makedoesn’t quite work the way you hoped, you can talk to your helper and try again.

Top 4 Stress-Busters

1. CHOOSE the best way of thinking. We can’t change the facts (what happens to us) but we CAN change the way we think about the facts (our opinions and beliefs). Sometimes our firstthoughts aren’t the most helpful ones. Choosing the best, most helpful way ofthinking is the #1 stress buster!

2. STOP doing things that aren’t helpful.After you have some helpful ways of thinking, you also have to rememberto STOP thinking and doing things that aren’t helpful. That can be tricky,because we often just react automatically when upsetting things happen.But don’t give up. If you make a mistake, just notice what you have done (andapologize if you’ve done something wrong) and then switch to your new andhelpful way of thinking.


Helpful Thoughts

/ Beliefs

Feelings:

Actions& Attitude:

Feelings:

Here’s what happened

Unhelpful Thoughts / Beliefs

Actions& Attitude:

Be a Careful Thinker!When something happens,

slow downand choose

how to think about it.


When something happens,slow downand choose

how to think about it.

Be a Careful Thinker


HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED cards

How to make the HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED cards:1. Print this page (card fronts).2. If desired, on the reverse side of these cards, you can print the “Here’s What Happened” card backs.3. Cut along the dotted lines to make cards.

You miss the school bus.Your dad yells, “Not again!I’m not taking you to schoolthis time!”

You drop a tray of food inthe middle of the cafeteria.Everyone laughs.

You were joking aroundand sort of made fun ofyour friend. Now your friendwon’t speak to you.

You tried out for thebasketball team. Today isthe day that you find outwho made the team.

You don’t know why theother kids don’t want to playwith you. Your teacher tellsyou it is because youalways want to be “theboss.”

Someone else gets pickedfor the part you wanted inthe play.

You know the answers toall the questions on thetest. But you’re not finishedand the teacher says thetime is up.

You aren’t paying attentionin class. Your teacher callson you to answer thequestion.

You got picked for theteam. Your best frienddidn’t and hasn’t beentalking to you as much.

You are on your way toyour band performance.You have to play one partall by yourself.

You forgot to study for thetest. You don’t know theanswers.

You made an A on the test.You tell your dad and yourbrother says you’re alwaysbragging.

Your brother calls you acrybaby.

Your mom says you have tohelp with chores afterschool. None of yourfriends have to do choresafter school.

You put your homework onyour desk and walk away.When you came back it isgone. You tell the teacherbut she says, “No excuses.”


Make your own HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED cards

How to make the HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED cards:1. Write your own situations in the sections below.2. If desired, on the reverse side of these cards, you can print the “Here’s What Happened” card backs.3. Cut along the dotted lines to make cards.


Card Backs

1. If you want to have a back on your cards, insert the printed page of cards (card fronts) in yourprinter and then print this page on the reverse side.

2. Use the dotted guide lines on the card fronts to cut the cards.

are you a careful thinker? - child & family counseling · 2019. 12. 10. · our bodies react...

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