“stupid is as stupid does” · ibiza magna and the marina de formentera who hold a 35% stake....

“Stupid Is As Stupid Does” Forrest Gump

San Antonio’s P.R. Policy Costs Town Half A Million Euros, Without Achieving Any Of Its Objectives.

[email protected] Stupid is as stupid does, so said Forrest Gump in quot-ing some sage advice from his mother. Considering the facts of the San Antonio Govern-ment’s 2016 regulations prohibiting the employment of P.R.s in the town, it seems likely that Mrs Gump would find those involved were indeed, pretty darned stupid. In this report we explain the current regulations and calculate their financial consequences.

Background until 2015 Though Public Relations, P.R., is a sector that encompasses many different functions and working environments, for our purposes we are just referring to the job of P.R. as it applies to Ibiza—which is the often maligned individuals who have the task of enticing you into their employer’s bar or club. Throughout Ibiza and many other tourist destinations, it is often the first job open to a newly arriving worker.

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The Ibizan, Thursday 8th September 2016, Issue 843 also online at theibizan.com

Day by Day… Also see articles on this page and throughout the newspaper. Agenda con-tinues on back page.

Thursday 8th Cala de Bou, Craig Charles live on Rooftop Nine, Sol House by Ibiza Rocks. See advert p1 San Antonio, Shut up And Dance @ Rio. Features the Outcross Records 10th Anniversary Party with Miguel Campbell, Iain O’Hare and MAM (Miguel and Matt Hughes), with regulars Lisa Chadderton, LIPOUS and Roots and Sanchez. Ibiza Town (Dalt Vila), Ibiza Jazz Festival. Details on Facebook – Eivissa Jazz:

https://www.facebook.com/EivissaJazz

Friday 9th Santa Eulalia, 11:45am X Festival d'Opera d'Eivissa Presents Madam Butter-fly at the Congress Pal-ace. Tickets 40€ from Santa Eulalia Town Hall San Antonio, Melon Bomb @ Ibiza Rocks House at Pikes. Free with guestlist. From 10pm. San Antonio/Bay, Chris farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm see advert Ibiza Town (Dalt Vila), Ibiza Jazz Festival. Details on Facebook – Eivissa Jazz:

Saturday 10th Ibiza Town (Dalt Vila), Ibiza Jazz Festival. Details on Facebook – Eivissa Jazz:

Sunday 11th Santa Eulalia, 11:45am X Festival d'Opera d'Eivissa Presents Madam Butter-fly at the Congress Pal-ace. Tickets 40€ from Santa Eulalia Town Hall Cala Llenya, Backbeat at the Market, 12 to 3pm. See article, Figueretas, Jazz, Hotel Rest Figueretas, Playa D’en Bossa, Cinema Dorada, Cry-Baby FB San-tos Ibiza Santa Eulalia, Nimmos Wild Rover, 9 pm on-wards: Open mic jam ses-sion, all comers invited to come and contribute. If you can play, come and play… Cala Llonga, Mariposa, return of the Sunday Roast plus a special after-noon of live music with Lauren Kaycee. See advert Cala Llonga, La Cacatua, David Vincent Music from the 60s. See Advert

Monday 12th San Antonio/Bay, Chris farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm see advert

Tuesday 13th Cala de Bou, Jose Padilla Sunset Sessions on Roof-top Nine, Ibiza Rocks Sol House Hotel 7pm-midnight. San Antonio/Bay, Sean Mackey @ Stevie Ds, 10pm see advert

Thursday 15th Ibiza Town, 10pm Cinema Paradiso (fb), Trumbo Playa d’en Bossa, Dorado Live, We Are Scientists (New York) San Antonio, Shut up And Dance @ Rio. Features the Outcross Records 10th Anniversary Party with Miguel Campbell, Iain O’Hare and MAM

(Miguel and Matt Hughes), with regulars Lisa Chadderton, LIPOUS and Roots and Sanchez.

Friday 16th Ibiza Town, IFCC Gala Dinner at the Royal Plaza Hotel, 42€pp, Reserva-tions:

[email protected] San Antonio/Bay, Chris farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm see advert Ibiza Town, Beer Festival, Details on Facebook - IX Feria de la Cerveza 2016

Saturday 17th Ibiza Town, Beer Festival, Details on Facebook - IX Feria de la Cerveza 2016

Sunday 18th Ibiza Town, Beer Festival, Details on Facebook - IX Feria de la Cerveza 2016 Santa Eulalia, Nimmos Wild Rover, 9 pm on-wards: Open mic jam ses-sion, all comers invited to come and contribute. If you can play, come and play…


Tuesday 20th San Antonio/Bay, Sean Mackey @ Stevie Ds, 10pm see advert Cala de Bou, Jose Padilla Sunset Sessions on Roof-top Nine, Ibiza Rocks Sol House Hotel 7pm-midnight.

Thursday 22nd Ibiza Town, 10pm Cinema Paradiso (fb), The Big Lebowski San Antonio, Shut up And Dance @ Rio. Features the Outcross Records 10th Anniversary Party

with Miguel Campbell, Iain O’Hare and MAM (Miguel and Matt Hughes), with regulars Lisa Chadderton, LIPOUS and Roots and Sanchez.

Friday 23rd San Antonio/Bay, Chris farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm see advert

Saturday 24th Cala Llonga, 12 noon to 12 midnight, 30 bands on 4 stages, 2 food areas, children's play area, hippy market and more.

Sunday 25th Figueretas, Jazz, Hotel Figueretas, Santa Eulalia, Nimmos Wild Rover, 9 pm on-wards: Open mic jam ses-sion, all comers invited to

come and contribute. If you can play, come and play…


Tuesday 27th Cala de Bou, Jose Padilla Sunset Sessions on Roof-top Nine, Ibiza Rocks Sol House Hotel 7pm-midnight. San Antonio/Bay, Sean Mackey @ Stevie Ds, 10pm see advert

Thursday 29th Ibiza Town, 10pm Cinema Paradiso (fb), El Mariachi

Friday 30th San Antonio/Bay, Chris farley @ Stevie Ds, 10pm

Cry-Baby film screening Playa d’en Bossa Claire B

On Sunday September 11 John Water’s iconic film Cry-Baby will be screened next to the Playa d’en Bossa beach @ Santos Dorado Suites. Set in 1950s Baltimore, a bad-boy (played by Johnny Depp) with a heart of gold wins the love of a good-girl, whose boyfriend sets out for revenge. Starring Johnny Depp, Ricki Lake, Amy Locane, Iggy Pop and many more. 20€ with a gin and tonic and hotdog. From 9.30pm.

Playing For Change 2016. Cala Llonga Brian Whetton

Last year's Playing For Change Day was probably one of the island’s biggest events. The day raised a whopping 8,000€ for the charity, which was the largest amount raised at any of the worldwide events. We are delighted to inform you that this year Playing for Change will be taking place from mid-day to mid-night on Saturday 24th September, again on and around the beach area of Cala LLonga. Plans are being finalised to make this year’s Annual Festival even bigger and better. There will be over 30 bands providing virtually non-stop music on 4 stages. We also have 2 food areas, a Children's Play Area, plus a Hippy Market and much more. Playing For Change is a day when musicians around the world come together to play for free to raise funds to provide free

music education programmes in third world counties, in an attempt to improve the life experience of children through music. So make a note on your diary, calendar or phone to come over to Cala Llonga and enjoy a day you'll not forget. We will bring you more information nearer to the date but if you'd like to learn more see the worldwide site and the local facebook page at https://playingforchange.com/ http://bit.ly/2c4P5Qi

Agenda

Backbeat Cala Llenya

Sunday 11th September 12:00h to 15:00h. With two thirds of Backbeat comprising prolific Ibizan writer Carly S on vocals, and Ibiza Sun founder Chris Langley on the guitar*, we had to feature

their next gig at the Cala Llenya market. Back-beat are back again for their monthly slot at the brillo rastrillo for some musical thrillos. Covering a massive range of eras and genres with 2 guitars, a drum kit, voices and a whole lotta love and energy! (*There is also Patrick, who has nothing to do with the newspaper, but is a thoroughly decent chap)

More Agenda on the Back Page

Weather

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Wednesday 27o


San José; No More Beds or Bars on the Beach 8 Applications Rejected Reduction In Current Licences Likely

San José town hall have confirmed the rejection of 8 business licence applications for beaches in the borough. The decision on applications is actually taken by the Coastal Department, however under an agreement be-tween the two authorities all applications and decisions are submitted to the Council for input. It is understood that the Council had recommended refusal for all new applications made in the past year. The 8 applications in question relate to:- Cala Bassa – a kiosk bar and seating area Porroig - Jet ski business Playa den Bossa - 5 separate applications, 4 of which for tables, chairs, sofas etc at restaurants and one for a water sports business. Es Cavalett – seating area for existing restaurant

San José councillor for beaches, Pep Cardona, set out the

authority’s reasons for what amounts to a blanket refusal of all new applications. “This is due to the belief that the beaches of our coastline already have enough commercial operations, in some areas an excessive amount”. This policy is reflected in the council having already de-creased the beach concessions by 10% earlier this year.

They have also commissioned a study on the capacity of the beaches and should the outcome confirm the view that their beaches are already taking too great a burden through commercial activities, further action will be tak-en in reducing the number of concessions when they come up for tender.

Formentera Marina: Photo Sergi Candelas

Keep Off The Grass, or Keep Out of Our Port Formentera: Port Closed To Posidonia Abuse Boats

The Marina de Formentera Company that manages the Po-niente Port of La Savina has announced they will not allow admittance to vessels that have been warned, or found guilty of anchoring in the restricted Posidonia meadows. The move is taken in light of many boats continuing to ignore the regulations which prevent them dropping anchor in much of Ibiza’s coastal waters. The regulations are designed to protect the fragile Posidonia seagrass meadows, which have

suffered as a result of anchors dragging along the seabed and so removing the Posidonia and also churning silt which then blocks the sunlight on which the Posidonia relies to survive. Marina de Formentera Manager, Juan Costa, said that with immediate effect their moorings would not be available to vessels that flout the regulations “any vessel that has been issued a warning will be considered ‘non gratos’ in their facili-ties”. Costa went on to say that, their decision has been motivated by “a lack of sufficient measures being taken to punish those guilty of not observing the regulations”. Pitiusa Ecology, the company holding the government con-tract for making boat owners aware of the regulations, is owned between Ibizan Marina, Santa Eulalia Club Nautico, Ibiza Magna and the Marina de Formentera who hold a 35% stake. They will use the information of Pitiusa Ecology along with the input of volunteers such as Maria Jose Estarellas to impose the ban. “Some can escape us, but this move puts pressure on them,” said Costa. He went on to urge others in the marine industry to adopt similar measures. “If more marinas join the initiative it will have an increasingly strong effect”.

Editor. It seems Formentera have done it again. Facing a problem that seems to have many stumped, they come up with an effective solution in the absence of tough financial sanctions. For this initiative to have full impact, it must rely on the other marinas around Ibiza joining them. If a vessel were not able to use any marine facilities around the island, it would surely have the effect of ensuring they respected the regulations, or went elsewhere. Either way the Posidonia protection is increased.

61 Years of Loyalty To Ibiza The president of Ibiza Consell, Vicente Torres, has received a tourist who has been visiting Ibiza every year for 61 years. Josep Gadjo Fortuny, a lawyer by profession, visited Ibiza for the first time when he was 17 years old, and has never missed a year since. The president thanked him for his loyalty and presented our most frequent visitor with a bust of the Godess Tanit as a mark of appreciation. Speaking of his holidays in Ibiza, Josep said his first years were spent at the hotel Tropical in San Antonio. Ha chatted for some time with the president about the many changes he has seen in Ibiza from the 1950’s to the present day.

News


Ibiza Consell ‘No Means No!’ Campaign The Oficina de la Dona (Office for Women) has launched a campaign under the slogan ‘No Means No! Ibiza, an island free of sexual aggression’. The social awareness campaign aiming to tackle both sexual harassment and gender violence was presented by the Coun-cillor of Social Welfare, and of many other things, Lydia Ju-rado.

The campaign will include distribution of a series of posters, leaflets, flyers and other promotional materials targeted at nightlife venues, clubs and bars, etc., and in more traditional information points such as medical centres and municipal buildings. The materials have been created in four languages, Catalan, Spanish, English and German, and offer a 24-hour sexual as-sault helpline plus details of emergency services and contact details for the Office of Women. “The aim of this initiative is to visualise the problem” said minister Jurado, “we do not have any exact data on the num-ber of such attacks because many go unreported due to fear or helplessness. Often this is as the victims are tourists and being in a country they do not know, and do not know where to go for help.” The minister thanked those companies in the entertainment sector that have agreed to co-operate in dis-tributing the material inside their premises. She said that their aim is for Ibiza to become “an example of zero tolerance for this kind of behaviour”.

San Jose Closes Two Brothels But both still advertising for business

As part of a special operation “Tot Suma” aimed at tackling sexual exploitation, San Jose have issued an ultimatum at two premises requiring that they cease all activity within 48 hours. This follows a mandatory 15 day period since proceedings were initiated requesting that li-cense details were provided to the authorities. The two premises known as ‘Nereidas’ and ‘KM4’ were inspected in early August by the local police along with Guardia Civil agents and government labour and finance officials. Proceedings were initiated on the grounds that the establishments were performing an

economic activity without the necessary license. Having not provided the licenses the ultimatum requires that if they do not close voluntarily the police will seal the premis-es and that any breach of the seal would result in immediate legal action. San Jose Councillor for the Police and Interior, Paquita Ribas, said that “these two closures were in addition to three more that have been closed in the government’s current term of office”. Still advertising for trade

In an online search, we found that Nereidas were still tagging Ibiza on their Facebook page as at 2nd September, with the company also operating out of Mercia. KM4’s website intro-duce themselves as Ibiza social ‘inter-relations’ then offer a ‘catalogue of putas’ Ibiza. We did not see our editorial obligation to be going as far as attempting to make a booking, and feel sure our google tar-geted advertising will be pretty seedy for some days even having gone this far, the website appears to be open, availa-ble and ready to take bookings. Screenshots below: bottom left, the Nereidas facebook page is still tagging Ibiza on 2nd September, Below, KM4 website is still up and ’open for business’.

News


Jane Charilaou Chartering a boat in Ibiza has never been more popular. Groups of friends, families, couples, celebs - it seems everybody's at it! In fact, pri-vate Ibiza boat charters are now firmly on the island's 'must do' list of activities, just like the private villa parties of the past, which (sadly, some would say) are now much more strictly controlled by local authori-ties, with harsh fines often imposed for noise pollution. That's just one of the reasons why those who go for a private Ibiza boat or yacht charter are ahead of the game - there are no noise restrictions at sea, you see! That's why you'll find powerful sound systems on some larger yachts, such as the Funktion One sound system that graces our 89' Arno Leopard yacht, Disco Vo-lante. USB connections are standard on all boats, meaning you can rock that yacht with your own personal playlist. Boom! In short, there's nothing quite like gliding across the Balearic on a pri-vate Ibiza boat charter with just your nearest and dearest. Ideal for groups who simply split the cost of the char-ter, a day out on the Balearic is much more affordable than you might imagine. Groups of x 9, for example, can currently take out a super cool

Rinker speed boat for less than €100 each. That includes a whole day (7 hrs) out on the water, watersports gear (wakeboard, waterskis,

snorkels, donut etc), captain, instruc-tion, IVA, 2 hours fuel and unlimited beer, wine and soft drinks. For a sunset trip (3.5hrs) the price per person goes down to less than €60 per head for a group of 9, with all the same perks included. What's more, these are high season prices. Come mid-September, the prices get even lower. For special occasions, (hens, stags, birthdays etc) the current trend is to charter a Sunseeker yacht. A private sunset charter (2.5hrs) on our 47' Sunseeker Camargue would cost a

group of x 12 just €750 - that's less than €65 each, fully inclusive of IVA, fuel, water-toys (stand-up paddles boards, snorkel, noodles), unlimited beer, wine and soft drinks plus com-

plimentary Cava. An extra few quid each gets you a 49' Sunseeker Portofino. Not bad, huh?! Of course, you can also go for the full luxury experience and spend the whole week-end on a yacht. Both the 89'

Arno Leopard, Disco Volante and the 60' Sunseeker Predator have ample accommodation to transform into the floating hotel of your dreams. With the wind in your hair, a cool drink in your hand and a smile on your face, a day out at sea is the perfect antidote to our usual busy, stressful, modern lives. There's something about the marine environ-ment that fills you with a sense of freedom and space which in turn, provides the opportunity for a com-plete 'reset.' For many, their private Ibiza boat charter is 'the best day of

the holiday.' For those Ibiza boat virgins out there who've never char-tered a boat before, here are 15 dos and

don'ts to bear in mind.

DO... 1. Choose a reputable, well-established company. Look out for the TripAdvisor Cer-tificate of Excellence - a good indicator of quality. 2. Check the price carefully - common extras include fuel and VAT (IVA) at 21%

3. Check whether unlimited drinks are included in the price - obviously a huge bonus! 4. Book in advance. You're much more likely to get your preferred date and boat. 5. Sign up for newsletters and fol-low your favourite companies on social media. That way, you'll be the first to hear about special deals and discounts. 6. Look for a price promise that refunds the difference if you find a cheaper deal. 7. Ask about different routes (Formentera? Es Vedra? Hidden se-crets?) Take advantage of your com-pany's local expertise and keep your eyes peeled for dolphins! 8. Have lunch at a beautiful Ibiza or Formentera beach restaurant. Your charter company should be able to provide you with information about the best Ibiza beaches, bars and restaurants to visit. They should normally be able to make a reserva-tion for you too.

DON'T... 9. Be late. Every minute of your Balearic day out is precious! 10. Thrown rubbish overboard - it's dangerous and poisonous to marine life. 11. Wear your shoes on the boat. 12. Forget your suntan lotion - the sun is powerful out at sea 13. Forget to charge your phone - you'll be gutted to miss out on pho-tos 14. Ask your captain to anchor over Posidonia seagrass or tolerate any-one doing this - the Posidonia is a World Heritage site and it's highly illegal to damage it in any way. 15. Weep when it's over - just do it again next year!

See Boats Ibiza advert below for full contact information—and details of the Commission intro-duction bounty.

http://www.boatsibiza.com/

Boats Ibiza

Handy Hints For Ibiza Boat Virgins

Main Picture and interior inset, The stunning top of the range Disco Vo-

lante. Left, Something for everyone, from a 145 person Ibicenco Cargo Ship

to the 26ft 9 person Rinker, with prices from just 445€


To say it is the bottom rung of the ladder is something of an injustice as it is a very tough job, but in terms of the conditions of employ-ment, it is a job many people prefer to avoid. With remuneration always heavily reliant on results, few people have the tenaci-ty combined with a natural gift of the gab and ability to not take all the rejection personally. That said, they do exist. I know of several ’professional’ P.R.s who are extremely good at what they do, and have chosen to re-main in that role for many years—earning a good old whack in the process. Historically employers could have chosen to employ their P.R.s on full and legal con-tracts reflecting the P.R.’s actual working hours and pay. In reality however, many of Ibiza’s P.R.’s have been work-ing entirely illegally, or with a minimum hours contract and ’on paper only’ wages. For many years there have been more ‘workers’ coming to Ibiza than there are con-tracted jobs available. With those businesses prepared to flout employment laws at no financial risk (other than Government fines of course) by taking people on commis-sion only P.R. jobs, it was perhaps inevitable that their numbers would grow to saturation levels, particularly in heavily competitive areas such as San Antonio’s West End. I certainly know of many visitors who were fed up with the never ending trade touting. With so many P.R.s trying to earn their daily Passata and Pasta, a good number of businesses were bemoaning practices such as P.R.s from other bars tout-ing on their terrace and the roving P.R. who would at-tempt to seal a deal before people even approached the town centre.

The San An Jacket System In San Antonio the Town Hall decided something had to be done and a new licencing system was introduced. Under this scheme those bars and clubs wanting to employ a P.R. had to pay an annual fee of 1,500€, and through the full legalisation of the person in the job, a further 500€ a month in contract costs. A six month season would therefore cost the business 4,500€ in revenue paid over to the public purse. The official P.R.s were issued with a jacket that confirmed the name of their employer. It was not a perfect system, but many employers bit the bullet and went legit. It did not stop illegal P.R.s being employed in addition to the legal and clearly iden-tified ones, but as it was clear and immediately obvi-ous which were not working legally it at least prevented the worst of the practices that were causing upset. Obviously the additional cost was not welcomed by employers, many of whom were already facing re-strictions on trade from a raft of other regulations coming out of the town hall at the same time. It is quite telling that many of those same employers are the first to voice their opinion as to the insanity that follows—but we’ll come to that in a moment. Revenue

There is a lack of clear facts regarding the revenue re-ceived under the jacket sys-tem. Asking those working in business in the thick of the West End estimates vary from 100 to 400. We will be ultra conserva-tive and base our sums on 120 P.R.s—an odd number but you can probably see why already. At just 120 officially regis-tered P.R.s the government

revenue would be over half a million euros—540,000€ Of course it could be far more. 200 and you are getting on for a cool million euros.

2016 Regu-lations 2016 found new political colours in the San Antonio town hall following the municipal elec-tions. With much debate around the need to ‘clean up’ San Anto-nio’s image in the election campaign-ing, it was inevita-ble the new powers would want to take some immedi-ate steps to assert their authority and position. This was all the more likely due to part of the new coalition government standing on what amounted to a single policy platform of reclaiming the town. The new Government issued several ordinances relating to the sale and consumption of alcohol, and the one that brings us to this report, an ordinance of the permissible methods a business could use to promote themselves. It was decreed that all street P.R.ing would be banned, even from a business’ own premises. Given the widely held view that P.R.s were a nuisance, a bit of a pest, there was not too much sleep lost over what was presented as their imminent demise. The ordi-nance was not restricted to P.R.s and if anything more people seemed to consider the banning of street pa-rades, a feature of Ibiza nightlife for many years, an unnecessary step. The season started with some debate as to how the new regulations would be enforced. I think it is fair to say many employers were

playing their cards close to their chest, waiting to see the level of enforcement put into practice. I recall one business in the West End receiving a fine for P.R.ing from their own door-way right at the start of the season. They received con-siderable support and sym-pathy, and perhaps for a brief moment it looked like the days of the P.R. were over. That moment was very brief indeed. I am sure there will have been some other sanctions, but I have not heard of any. It was not long before P.R.s were back out on the street doing their stuff, as they always had done, but actual-ly going back to the com-pletely wild west version of P.R.ing prior to the vest system. The reality turns out, as many people suspected, that the regulations had no teeth whatsoever because there was no system of policing them. The acute shortage of police in Ibiza and especially San Antonio is well known. With so many more serious issues to take their time, the Police could not be expected to take the job on if they want-

ed to or not. They simply do not have the manpower. With the Ajuntamento mak-ing no provision for any al-ternative way of regulating P.R.s , it was not long before the businesses had a clear view that they could return to past practices—but now in the quite ludicrous situa-tion that they were not al-lowed to employ them legal-ly even if they would want to do so. The regulations state that there cannot be a P.R., so you cannot employ one on a contract, full or false. There is widespread agree-ment among the many work-ers and business owners I have spoken to that there are as many P.R.s on the streets now as there ever have been, if not more. They work with relative im-punity, and any sanctions they receive are far more likely to come from a neigh-bouring bar upon who’s terrace toes they step, than from any official source.

Consequence If you accept that a govern-ment has a responsibility to pass legislation only along-side a method of enforcing that legislation, and surely they do have that responsi-

bility, the new regulations have to be seen as a blunder of epic proportions. The town hall have taken us from a situation that, whilst not perfect, had created some semblance of order in the P.R. world, and at the same time brought anything between a minimum of 500,000€ up to 1,000,000€ or even more, into the public coffers. What they have taken us to is a return to the wild west of the past, and lost all that revenue in the process. What have they achieved? Momentary rhetoric in pla-cating the citizens of San Antonio who wanted some post election assurance of a clean up. Had they achieved that clean up you could say fair enough. Whether you agreed with the regulations, they are the elected govern-ment and they have the mandate to decide that the removal of P.R.s from our streets is worth the loss of revenue. But they haven’t done that, they haven’t even got a plan for trying to do that. They have lost the town a huge amount of money to absolutely no purpose. Makes you wonder who the pickpockets really are?

(Continued from page 1)

Postbag Last week’s editorial on the problems of ag-gressive street sellers and pickpockets gener-ated a good deal of debate and wide ranging views on the question of why? Thank you to every body who contributed their thoughts on social media and directly to our inbox. I have printed some of those below. As acknowledged in the article (most unpro-fessionally) the report had been rushed to print and was issued unproofed. The complete and tuned article, together with a conclusion of sorts, is available here. http://theibizan.com/opinion-editorial/why-pick-pockets-illegal-street/ Hi Nick Firstly congratulations on a superb feature on the above in last week's issue - which I read online. I wrote to you last year on the subject (particularly of the illegal vendors) expressing my fears that if this practice were to continue unchecked, it would surely damage the repu-tation of Ibiza. This would not only be to po-tential visitors, but also those like myself who have visited regularly over the years and have a fond regard for the island and most of its people.

It was sad to read that pickpocketing gangs now appear to be a growing problem. Whilst I can't say I have seen such - perhaps because I normally visit out of high season - this can only further blemish the island's image. I hope that the attention that your excellent piece will draw to the problem may help to generate some response from the authorities. It is surely in the best interests of all connect-ed with Ibiza that such unsavoury issues are eradicated as far as possible, in order to en-sure Ibiza is a safe and welcoming place to both visit and live. My next brief visit is on the first weekend of October, and I'll be taking a little more care than usual to make it a relaxed and safe one! Keep up the good work Best Wishes, Rob Mead Dear Mr. Gibbs, Thank you for the amazing article regarding the troubles in the West End. I am a near 80 year old widow, now resident in Ibiza, having visited the island since 1970. I have owned my apartment in Cala de Bou since 1988. I, of course, have never visited the West End at night, in the summer. However, what puzzles me is why is the West End is so popular, still, with tourists, when they must know about the crimes committed

there, and how dangerous it is? I feel tourist operators, and airline companies, and the Tourist Board, should warn their cus-tomers, especially those new to the island, about the dangers. What is attracting visitors to the area, in the first place? Is it the night clubs? I know people have to earn a living, but I be-lieve there are no night clubs in places like Santa Eulalia. Surely, night club owners could find different occupations, if they really want to work here in the summer. I believe the Government and the Tourist Board will not close down night clubs as they bring in a lot of money. Do the islands of Mallorca and Minorca have the same problems? If not, should we not take note of what they do, or don't do? I do believe, also, rightly or wrongly, that the police, probably understaffed, turn a blind eye. I do hope a solution is found soon. Sadly, be-cause of this small area of San Antonio the whole of the island, as you know, has got a very bad reputation. I know Martin Makepeace is doing a great job trying to get the Town Hall to rid San Antonio of aggressive street sellers. I do admire his tenacity. Why can't the illegal aggressive street sellers be arrested, imprisoned while paperwork is

sorted, fined, and the money used to send them back to wherever they come from? Is San Antonio the only resort worried by these people? Am I being too simplistic? With thanks, and best wishes, Rosalind Minton (Mrs.) Dear Editor, I would like to congratulate you on a first class editorial on the crime in San Antonio, and the lack of interest shown by the powers to be. I have lived in Ibiza for nearly 30 years and it is clear to see the problem is getting worse, if nothing is done very shortly I hate to think where it will end. As you point out the Police and Guardia are about as useful as tits to a nun (editor, note to Police, I don’t think I did point that out). As you point out the Senegalese are normally a pest but they don’t compare to the Eastern Europeans who will become a real big prob-lem in the future. So please use your very informative newspa-per to keep us informed as to what is going on. Yours sincerely Tony Cox

“Stupid Is…” San Antonio’s Six Figure P.R. Farce.

Everybody in the Ibizan office loved this photo of Maz King and Zak Sheridan. Maz and Zak are long standing residents living in Cala de Bou with their 4 children.

I take quite a lot of photos, and i look at many more, I can't think of a single one that says 'couple' better than this. (and it kinda says why there are so many kids too)

Maz said “ 24 years I've had to suffer that boy... And still no diamond to show for it... ! Hehehe.. X”. Might be time to stand up Zak? Tune in next week readers, for the next

thrilling instalment.


CEPA – Ibiza’s Adult Education Programme Offers Low Cost Courses in Spanish, Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced PLUS Beginner’s Catalan For Parents. Wouldn’t you love to be able to say “Yes I speak Spanish”, and even better “and a little Catalan”? Don’t you envy those among us who already can? We know it’s tough. We all have our excuses. But we will not get anywhere sitting around moaning about it. The Spanish Government are providing us with the opportunity at next to no money, so time to take the plunge.

CEPA Adult Education Service These state run courses are ideal for Ibiza’s winter residents. In Castellano Spanish there are options for absolute begin-ners through to those ready to take their Spanish to the next level. For parents with school age children, the beginner’s Cata-lan is an ideal course in giving you the necessary language skills for school communication and for homework help. There are also classes available in hobby and leisure pas-times such as Yoga, Photography, Oriental Dance and Pila-tes etc. Language courses are usually around 2 hours, 2 or 3 times a week. The maximum course fee is just 30€ per year!

Locations …. The adult education service is divided into 2 areas:-

CEPA Pitiuses centres in Ibiza town, Santa Eularia and Formentera Tel 971 305 368

http://www.cepapitiuses.com/ https://www.facebook.com/escolaadultseivissa/?fref=ts

CEPA San Antoni centres in Sant Antoni, Sant Josep, Sant Jordi and Cala de Bou Tel 971 348 595

http://www.cepasantantoni.cat/ https://www.facebook.com/cepa.santantoni/

How to Enrol …. Enrolment for new students runs from September 14th to 27th. You will need to take along a photocopy of your NIE or Passport, and 2 Passport Size Photographs. For language courses there is no entry requirement though the tutor will discuss with you the most appropri-ate starting point. If you can’t understand what they are saying chances are it will be beginner ;-)

Enrolment Timetable

Availability of Courses

Details of the beginner, intermediate and advanced Spanish for foreigners courses are given below, from which you should get a good idea of the right starting point for you. We make no apology for the imperfect English grammar in the descriptions provided to us – who are we to judge?

Spanish for Foreigners Spanish For Foreigners 1 This course is aimed at people with different cultural and linguis-tic varieties, literate but begin to start in the Spanish language. The main objective at this level is that students can, by learning

the Spanish language, orient themselves and evolve positively towards integration in the society in which they find themselves. During the course equips students with the resources needed to develop communication in simple everyday life, to exchange basic information and can understand oral and written texts brief and basic. Ie train them so they can relate to the public and work efficiently.

Spanish For Foreigners 2 The recipients of this second level are people who already have a minimum language skills that allow them to express themselves in a clear enough in Spanish. The main objective that is intended to get this course is related to students using Spanish as a tool that allows them to understand and integrate into the reality around them, by reading and partici-pating in press various cultural and social events such as festivals, conferences, exhibitions .....

Spanish For Foreigners 3 This level 3, is aimed at people who already have some language skills inaccurate when expressing themselves in Spanish. That is, are students who are capable of explaining events in the past, present and future, which include global information oral texts in real communication situations such as detailed information about general topics, daily telephone conversations, ideas general and issued an oral presentation by the media. Throughout the school year working to ensure that students are able to express themselves orally in different communicative situations, such as participation in a conversation, expression and reasoning own opinions on a topic of conversation, the narration of actions and events of the past and future senses etc.

Catalan For Beginners 1 Ibiza and San An offer entry level Catalan designed for people who can already speak Spanish (ask for Catalan A2), but in 2016 Ibiza are offering Catalan 1, designed for people who wish to learn the language without any necessity to already be a Spanish speaker, and San An say they will adapt their A2 course for non Spanish speakers if there is a demand. The course is therefore ideal for any parent suddenly finding the need to assist with school homework, or anybody who just fancies the idea of taking the Catalan route instead of Castellano.

Sí, Hablo Español, I Una Mica De Català.

Centre

Spanish 1

Spanish 2

Spanish 3

Catalan 1

Ibiza Town Santa

Eulalia Formen-

tera Sant

Antoni * Sant

Josep Sant Jordi

Cala de Bou

Centre Address Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

Ibiza Town Cantonada Canàries, 12 davant Mercat Nou, Tel

971305368 11am to 1pm 6pm to 8pm 11am to 1pm 6pm to

8pm

Santa Eulalia c/st jaume 72. tel 971305368

11am to 1pm 6pm to 8pm 11am to 1pm 6pm to

8pm

Formentera Avinguda Porto Saler s/n

Sant Francesc Telf 971321069

11am to 1pm 6pm to 8pm 11am to 1pm 6pm to 8pm

Sant Antoni C/Alacant nº 33

Telèfon: 971 348 595

6.30pm to 9.30pm

11am to 1pm 6.30pm to

9.30pm 11am to

1pm

Sant Josep Escoles Velles Carretera

Es Cubells s/n (use San An Telephone)

6.30pm to 9.30pm

11am to 1pm 11am to

1pm

Sant Jordi Oficines Municipals, C/

de la Plaça Major 9 (use San An Telephone)

6.30pm to 9.30pm

11am to 1pm 11am to

1pm

Cala de Bou Centre Municipal

(near Sea View Hotel) (use San An Telephone)

6.30pm to 9.30pm

11am to 1pm 11am to

1pm


Palapa Street Food Rhian Gibbs

Palapa is a new name on the San Antonio Marina front for 2016. It’s all about street food, incredible taste with the equally incredible waterfront street life playing out its cabaret in front of you. In the typical street food style, you can order the tacos in a portion of 3, or just 1 taco on its own – this is a fantastic way to try all the different combinations available. Cocktails

While waiting for our food to arrive we tried the highly recommended Frosty Mexican Bulldog, the menus description ‘a frozen margarita topped with a bottle of Corona’. It certainly was a surprise when it arrived at our table. A pint glass with a margarita inside, and an upturned bottle of beer neck buried in the cocktail. The advice is to drink it through the straw, with the bottle still in place – which seemed a bit of a challenge! As far as the drink itself goes, it is very refreshing, think a shandy slush puppy with a bit of a kick. One of those drinks that would undoubtedly creep up on you unawares after two or three—we like that. Also on the cocktail menu is Michelada, which is a Mexican Bloody Mary made with beer – great with breakfast/brunch, or as a way to start your evening. Onto the food, you will find burgers and pizzas on the menu, but the reason to eat here is Mexican food with Nachos, Quesadillas and Tacos being the stars of the show.

Spicy shredded chicken taco.

These were always going to be a favourite as they come with a ‘2 chilli spice rating’. Each taco was packed with a moist shredded chicken filling, a crunch of onion and full of that Mexican flavour. Fried chilli mango and prawn taco

It was juicy and full of flavour with the mango and prawn tumbling in a match made in heaven. Mushroom and Onion taco

As with all the tacos, a soft shell is filled with the classic combination of garlic mushrooms, onions and herbs. Summery Palapa salad

With fresh spinach, cherry tomatoes, chilli peppers, tortilla strips, almonds and a lemon and olive oil dressing. The flavours and textures work so well together. The zingy-ness of the lemon juice and the heat of the chilli, combined with the fresh spinach leaves and crunch of almonds was a perfect accompaniment to the tacos. Marinated Chicken salad

This salad comes with mixed lettuce leaves, chicken, tortilla chip bits, avocado, nuts, seasonal fruit and a serrano chilli curry dressing. With the generous serving, this salad is ideal on its own, or perfect for sharing and of course the Mexican flavours have not been lost due to the chilli, avocado and tortilla chips. Quesadilla with ground beef and melted cheese.

Wow, by far the most delicious quesadilla I have tried, you just can’t go wrong with ground beef and melted cheese. Triangles of heaven. To end the meal we were given shots of Frozen Margarita, a perfectly refreshing way to cool the chilli

kick we had experienced from the food, with that Jose Cuervo kick. Palapa is a perfect place to start your night out, plenty of taste, but no need to dampen your later desire to get on the dancefloor. It is not all about the night time though. Palapa have a great day menu and even offer an English breakfast—presumably for those that were part of the promenade cabaret the night before. See advert for contact info

Palapa It’s A Street Thing ...


Food & Drink


View From The Pew Families and How to Survive Them

Rev. Dr Peter Pimentel A lot of people I guess would be hard pressed, if asked, to quote from memory a saying of Jesus. Perhaps “Love your neighbour as yourself” might come to mind. Or maybe “Love your enemy” or “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. What about “Turn the other cheek” or “Judge not lest you be judged”. One saying of Jesus that almost certain-ly won’t be etched in our memory is this one: “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26). Why on earth would Jesus say such a horrible thing? It is very strange that, on the one hand, Jesus says, “love your neighbour”; and, on the other hand, he tells us to hate members of our family! Surely, at the very least, family members are our closest neighbours. Even more perplexing is that Jesus challenges us to both love our enemy and hate our family! I have some pointers towards a resolu-tion of this. Firstly, Jesus does sometimes use what we now-adays call “hyperbole”. Hyperbole is a deliberate exaggera-tion for effect. This was not uncommon in his day. Hyperbo-le is frequent in the rabbinic sages and the Bible. Jesus also said: “If your eye causes you to sin pluck it out and cast it from you”! I don’t see many church goers with their eyes gouged out! I guess church folk, fortunately, recognise hy-perbole when they see one. Families, it seems to me, can be a bit suffocating. Sometimes they need hyperbole!! Families do sometimes foster unhealthy co-dependencies. Sometimes at the very least we may need to step back a bit and let go a bit. Paradoxically, putting God first, in some specific area of our life, even above family ties, may just be what the family needs to grow. The rabbis contemporary with Jesus put it this way: “The master takes precedence. For his earthly fa-ther brought him into this world. But his master, who taught him wisdom, will bring him into the life of the world to come.” (The Mishnah: Baba Mesia 2:11) The Church Service this Sunday 10.30am September 11th is at the Chapel of Lourdes, Carrer Sant Jaume 85 (the main street), Santa Eularia. The English-Speaking Church on Ibiza & Formentera. See website for locations & information. Tel 971 343383

[email protected] www.ibizachurch.org

Bye Bye Brenda. It was with great sadness that people from across the island and the U.K. gathered at the crematorium of Sta Eulalia on Tuesday 6th Sept for the cremation of Brenda Macey who passed away peacefully with her family at her side last Friday 2nd Sept aged 76. Brenda was one of the loveliest people you could wish to meet, so viva-cious, so friendly and outgoing that her passing has come as shock to everyone who knew her. Brenda and her husband Brian were on half of "The Valley Four" having for many years shared a house in Cala Llonga with their lifelong friends Pam and Ivor Williams before moving to S'Agamassa, where again they soon made many new friends. They were also "mainstays" of some of the island’s walk-ing groups and were always the first to join in any social occasions. Brenda loved Ibiza and the people who live here, spending a lot of her time assisting various fund raising charities. She will be greatly missed and we, along with many others, would like to send our heartfelt condolences to Brian, the family and their many, many friends. The Two Old Rockers

Community

Thurs 8th September to Weds 14th September 2016

ARIES - Page of Pentacles You'd be wise to sit out a stalemate situation this week. You don't need to give ground, just wait and see what others offer before making any decisive move. Life will be similar to a game of chess so think carefully about your next move. If you're undecided then wait awhile, especially if there are financial implications to any changes. TAURUS - The Fool You're inclined to be uncharacteristically impul-sive and are about to make, what associates con-sider, a rash move; but is it? You’ve got a hunch regarding a business opportunity and are willing to take the risks involved. This isn't about being a team player; it's about independent and vision-ary thinking, which inspires those around you to think outside the box. GEMINI - Justice Weigh up the facts presented to you this week; especially if it involves any big changes. Sure, there are pros and cons but what’s your intuition telling you? Others have their own agenda and emotionally you’re being pulled this way and that. Keep it simple; what's best for long term prospects and what brings a more balanced and harmonious lifestyle? CANCER - The Lovers Great week for getting along with just about anyone, as you're in the mood for love. The Lov-ers also presents us with a choice; between two people, two jobs, two career options; you get the picture? You’re being asked to make this choice from your heart, therefore it’s important to con-nect with your feelings and make your decision intuitively. LEO - Knight of Pentacles You're thinking long term financial investments; so it would be wise to seek out an expert opinion before committing yourself fully. Make sure everyone involved is up to carrying through the task, especially if it requires you handing over substantial amounts of money. Sometimes you have to speculate to accumulate, but make sure it's worth it in the long run. VIRGO - Four of Cups Weigh up opportunities this week as there's a few to choose from both personally and profes-sionally. However, delay any decision on making a firm commitment, as there may be another opportunity on the horizon; one you might like even better. Romantically, if you're single and have kissed a lot of frogs recently, the signs are good to meet your Prince/Princess. LIBRA - Page of Swords You want to get to the bottom of something that's been troubling your thoughts and are de-termined to root out the truth even if it means upsetting yourself or the feelings of those you feel a close affinity to. You can only hope they're telling the truth otherwise you'll be led up the garden path for many months to come. SCORPIO - Six of Pentacles Successful week ahead as you are rewarded for past efforts with some kind of bonus and if you continue to throw your energy into the task then further rewards await. For some, expect some kind of promotion or success in in a job interview. Friends, love ones and associates are likely to be generous if you need some financial help. SAGITTARIUS - Five of Swords It may be difficult for you to keep a lid on your temper as you discover what’s been going on behind your back. You’ll be pretty upset by the underhanded dealings of others as you are usual-ly a good judge of character. Sometimes you trust unconditionally only to find you’ve been hoodwinked by a charming attitude. Time to wise up! CAPRICORN - Four of Swords Take time out to contemplate your navel and take steps to restore depleted your energy. Meditation or alone time may be a necessity so don't waste time with the so called "in crowd". Set yourself apart, especially if in the negotiation phase of an important deal. Others can't add to your perfect plan so don't bother asking for sec-ond opinions. AQUARIUS - Three of Cups A week to let your hedonistic side rule. You want fun and lots of it. The best way to ensure this happens is to spend time with those who make you happy. If you've not caught up with good friends lately, now's the time to reach out. This card signals abundant times, socially, financially and career wise through networking opportuni-ties. PISCES - Five of Wands Cooperation, or the lack of it from key associates, has been troubling you for some time. If a friend-ship, relationship or business connection is trou-blesome, communication's the key to sorting the problem. Nothing’s wrong with sitting round a table with a cuppa, vino or beer to talk things through and sort it out; or to even agree to disa-gree.


Mary-Lynne Stadler Art Classes and The Banyan Tree Studio

For Children Throughout the summer I have been running Kids’ Art Work-shops at Punta Verde Restaurant in Cala Nova on three days each week. The children seem to have really enjoyed them-selves – on several occasions it has been the parents, not the children, who have been champing at the bit to leave – and quite often parents have brought their children back on an-other day to do another workshop with me. In winter I will continue to offer Art Workshops for Children at my studio in Cala Llenya – The Banyan Tree Studio – by prior arrangement. They will be for small groups of children of all ages. The minimum number I need to run a workshop is 3 children. The maximum number will be 6. The workshop duration is two hours, the cost per child €25 per session, ma-terials included. I am also offering to run Art Workshops at children’s parties and at events throughout the year. Prices for this on applica-tion and dependant on several variable such as location, num-ber of children involved etc.

For Adults For adults I offer tailor-made Art Classes at the Studio throughout the year, for all levels of ability and experience, from novice to advanced. I adapt the content of the classes –drawing, painting (acrylic and oil), printmaking or mixed me-dia - to the needs and skills of my students, and I cater for individuals and small groups (maximum 6 people). Dates and times can be arranged to suit. The options are: A one-off 3-hour taster workshop A more immersive experience for a day (6 hours) with lunch included A longer course of exploration into the creative skills listed above, involving weekly 3-hour sessions over a peri-od of at least one month. (But if people really want to make progress, I recommend coming for a longer period).

Prices on application.

Who Am !? I am a professional artist who came to it late in life, once I met someone who encouraged me to take up my pencil and draw after I had spent over twenty five years as a thwarted creative with absolutely no confidence in my own ability.

Through this ex-perience I know just how hard it can be to over-come the mental blocks that bad experiences set up in us, and what we need in order to re-cover our confidence in our own im-pulse to be crea-tive. I see my artist self (indeed, myself) as a work in pro-gress. If I can instil that sim-ple truth about themselves into my students, I feel as though I have set them on their way. In the words of

Lao Tzu: ‘A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.’ Contact Mary-Lynne on Tel: +34722727382 or via

[email protected] https://www.facebook.com/oilpainteratlarge/

Celebrity Sundays Jacaranda, Es Canar Carly S

This Sunday saw the final instalment of Celebrity Sunday's at the beautiful Jacaran-da Lounge in Es Canar and what a finale it was! We arrived at around half eight to hear the ever impressive Charlie Starr performing a retro set of disco and pop classics as she owned the stage above the pool, looking every inch the diva in a gorgeous black and gold 60's style dress and long boots and grooving away with her bump...that baby will come out dancing and singing! Next up was the return of Shane Ritchie Jnr, who proved he could get a party going back in June at the opening party so was a great choice to perform at the closing. Looking smooth in all black and ready with witty banter to get the crowd involved, he had the stage full of dancing revellers as he sang pitch perfect perfor-mances of artists including Bruno Mars, Michael Jackson, Black Eyed Peas and Walk the Moon and even busted out a moonwalk himself. His easy rapport with the crowd, cheeky chappy demean-our, silky voice and smooth moves made for a great show. It's always a pleasure to watch an entertainer who clearly loves what they do and Shane is just such a performer.

Following Shane and returning to the venue for a third time with their infectious, foot stomping mixes of classic house, Phats and Small absolutely smashed it. A tight schedule of jetting in directly from a gig in Croatia saw them arrive with just minutes to spare , but this didn't phase sea-

soned professionals like Jason and Ben. Setting up quickly as the gorgeously sultry Elena danced a belly dance routine, they launched straight into their versions and mixes of anthemic tracks, Jason grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he danced behind the decks and mixed tracks as only he can and Ben bouncing and strutting as he sang and MCed in his unique, confident, soulful style. The place was packed, and soon enough they had the stage, poolside and pool full of singing, dancing, bouncing, splashing, smiling, laughing people. The love and passion these guys have for their music is palpable and you can't help but get caught up in it...even I ended up in the pool, arms aloft, singing along and doing my best attempts to dance in water. I was driving so could-n't indulge in their delicious drinks, but when the vibe's that good, who needs alcohol?! Hats off to the whole team at Jacaranda for putting on these unique and electric events, I for one have massively enjoyed them. The fun doesn't stop here though, Jacaranda is still run-ning all it's other events until the end of the season. Owner Mandy also announced last night that she'll be touring the Jacaranda Lounge parties in Thailand this winter, look out for more on their website.

Paddy Slater Ibiza. Andorra. Preston. Stephen Donovan

Paddy Slater, a house hold name around San Antonio, playing in Ibiza Rocks Bar, Sol House and Pikes Hotel to name just a few. Paddy is one of the finest singers, songwriters and musicians this island has to offer. At only 26 years old Paddy plays with such brilliance and effort-lessness you´d think he has been in the game for twenty or thirty years. Hailing from Preston, England (not Ireland, like his name might let you believe) but spending most of his time between Ibiza and Andorra Paddy has got his craft down to a tee. Catering for a huge range of audiences Paddy is able to get a bar or wher-ever he may be playing from sitting quietly to up on their feet dancing and singing in literally a space of 10 songs (or less), how he does it is down to the range of music he plays and the persona he brings while playing. Engaging the entire audience and always keeping them entertained from the very first strum of his guitar. Paddy has amazing varieties of music playing everything from rock to pop to dance and everything else in between. I honestly don´t think there’s a song this man doesn’t know how to play or sing. But Paddy isn´t just happy to play other peoples music, Paddy is also a talented song writer. Some of you may have seen his new track ´Shoulder´ on Facebook or Youtube. It’s a fantastic acoustic song with deep and emotional lyrics; this catchy number will have you listening to it over and over. Make sure to check it out online! I catch up with Paddy on Monday evening for his gig at Joe Spoons Irish Bar on the Westend. Starting off his set with all the crowd favorites, ´Mr. Brightside´, ´Wonderwall´ , ´Teenage Dirt-bag´ and then into some of the newer pop tracks. Having seen Paddy before, I have a few personal favorites of his and I couldn´t help but ask him to play, so gladly he performs his dance melody. It’s really something to witness, all the old school dance music played on piano and mashed into one serious 7 or 8 minute song. It certainly got the Joe Spoons dance floor full and jumping! However, not looking to steal the show all by himself, Paddy is always happy to share his stage with any one brave enough to come up and sing a song. Being after one or two pints of San Miguel, I offer my services and Paddy carries me with his fantastic playing while I almost empty the bar with my awful rendition of Mustang Sally. While some musicians are happy to be able just to play guitar or piano, Paddy plays both during his sets with his amazing ability using a loop pedal. Playing each part and building up a track is truly amazing to watch live. Paddy finishes his set with the crowd singing ´ONE MORE TUNE, ONE MORE TUNE´ and gets a massive round of applause from the full bar. If you have an evening free in Ibiza this man is definitely a must see! Paddy is also available for private functions and weddings. You can catch Paddy play Joe Spoons Irish Bar on Monday and Wednesday, Shenanigans’ on Tuesdays and Fridays, Ibiza Rocks Bar on Thursdays and Sundays and Sol House Mallorca Saturdays. www.paddyslatermusic.com

Copa de Ibiza Words Terry Burrows Photo Hattie Scanlan

So after 3 days of football in the September heat Café del Mar walked away with the Copa de Ibiza and placed it firmly behind their historic bar in the San Antonio venue. Matchday 1 saw Ocean Beach go though as Group A winners beat-ing everyone in their group while scoring 10 with 0 against. Es Paradis joined them, finishing 2nd. Group B was slightly tighter with Café del Mar topping the group and Plastik going through in 2nd place. The stage was set for Matthews do try and go one better than his team’s last 2 years of quarter final eliminations and banish the memory of the now famous penalty miss of 2014. Matchday 2 brought us 4 more quarter finalists with Privilege, Amnesia, Linekers and Space all progressing to the finals day on Saturday. The tournament so far brought us goals, saves, drama but more importantly a new character, Mauro from Café del Mar, or as he is now known, Mourinho. Shouting and running up and down the line as the manager of the venue, he drove them as they went through to finals day. On another boiling hot day, the football commenced. Ocean Beach, Es Paradis and Café del Mar all went through in the first 3 quarter finals beating Amnesia, Privilege and Space respectively. The 4th quarter final saw 2015 finalists Linekers take on Plastik. After gaining a 2-0 lead Plastik were looking favourites but some great football by Linekers saw them pull it back to 2-2 and go to penalties. So this was it, history repeating itself as it does so much in football. Matthews put himself up as the 5th and last penalty taker and with both teams scoring 3 up to this point it was him

who had the chance to put Plastik through. The crowd gathered, the pressure intensified and the sun was continuing to beat down. Could he stand the pressure? ….of course not, he missed again. The match finished 6-5 on pens to Linekers after sudden death. Café del Mar beat Ocean 2 – 0 in the first of the semis with Es Paradis beating Linekers 2 – 0 in the other semi final. The final was a tense affair and finished 0 – 0. Mourinho was on form as ever barking instructions at the Café del Mar team. They won 5-4 on penalties after sudden death. The terraces rang out with chants of "Jose Mourinho, Jose Mourinho” and the team went crazy. An emotional manager gave an interview to our host for the day, talkSPORT’s Geoff Peters and got soaked with beer from his troops. They went on to collect the medals and pick up the trophy followed by more alcohol soaking and cheers of Mour-inho. The team at Copa de Ibiza would like to thank all the venues and players for taking part and congratulate Café del Mar on being champions. See you all next year!

Review


Shut Up and Dance, Rio

San Antonio Claire B

Shut Up and Dance is a new free party every Thursday @ new venue Rio in San Antonio overlooking the marina. This week on Thursday September 8 none other than Miguel Campbell is in the house with his Outcross Records 10th Anniversary Par-ty featuring the man himself, plus long-time Outcross produc-er talent Iain O’Hare and MAM (Miguel and Matt Hughes). The Outcross Records boys will be joined on the decks by Shut Up and Dance regulars Lisa Chadderton, LIPOUS and Roots and Sanchez. Shut Up And Dance was born in Brazil and was huge there. And now Shut Up And Dance Ibiza is born. The idea behind the party is to do a free party every week that can run through the winter and bring a fresh breath of musical air to San Anto-nio. The music played will be mostly good quality house mixed with a bit of disco and tech house. Occasional live and art exhibits will be brought in too. Every Thursday From 8pm to 3am – free entrance. More info on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/1770774516532280/

Melon Bomb San Antonio Claire B

Melon Bomb is back at Ibiza Rocks House at Pikes on Friday September 9. It all kicks off at 10pm poolside with Pioneer Radio broadcasting the party live to the airwaves. Then from 12 the party moves indoors to Freddie’s Suite. On the decks will be Corbi, Ben Santiago, Paul Reynolds, Scott Gray, Sean Hughes and Ian Woodall. Melon Bomb’s ethos is to bring some funk and soul to the island in the form of old school jams, soul, funk, disco and soulful house and you can be sure that the dancefloor will be rammed as usual! Free entrance but guest list is required from Pikes

Faithless Ibiza Rocks, San Antonio

Words Claire B Photos Luke Dyson Last Wednesday it was the turn of the ever-popular Faithless to grace the stage at Ibiza Rocks. The venue was packed with a slightly older and more mixed crowd than usual as half the island came out in force to see the band’s only Ibiza perfor-mance this year. Having reunited for their 20th anniversary last year, they've been playing selected venues and festivals since then and are on a roll.

The band came onto the stage amidst clouds of CO2 and launched into instrumental ‘Emergency’. Then Maxi Jazz appeared to loud screams and cheers from the excited crowd, beginning with ‘All Races’ followed by ‘God is a DJ’, as Maxi bounced around on the stage and the crowd got their phones out to capture what they were seeing and jumped up and down in unison. Maxi is one cool dude of a frontman and sported a stylish dark brown suit with the jacket open at the front, showing off his toned, muscley chest. Sister Bliss coolly commanded over her banks of keyboards as she got into the groove and played the riffs we all know and love. The bassist and guitarist strutted around the stage at every available opportunity. They played all their favourites, including ‘Muhammad Ali’, ‘Mass Destruction’, ‘Salva Mea’ and more, but for many, myself included, the highlight was the massive tune that is ‘Insomnia’, and as it built up to its peak, the crowd in-evitably got more excited as it did so, reaching fever pitch as Sister Bliss played THAT synth riff in the middle! It's always a


great tune to hear and with the classic line of “and let me dream of making mad love on the heath, tearing off tights with my teeth”, what’s not to like and it’s great live! With a brilliant laser and light show and plenty of dry ice accompany-ing them throughout the show there was plenty to like. I loved them - I've always liked their music and live they be-come heavier and the guitars and drummers inject a large dose of rock into the mix. It was a great gig - lots of happy punters and the band were clearly enjoying being back to-gether and playing live. Faithless really are a perfect act for Ibiza Rocks, with their combination of dance music fused with rock guitar and some heavy percussion. The summer season is rapidly drawing to a close, and will end on September 14 with Wolf Alice and Mallorcan band LA play-ing at the closing party. The official after party at Ibiza Rocks House at Pikes, hosted by Rock Nights will see special guest Marky Ramone taking to the decks - a night not to be missed!

LessFaith Same Gig, Different View Nick Gibbs

OK it wasn’t as if I thought they were bad as such, I just ex-pected, at least I hoped, for far more. I don’t want to come over a s a miserable git by default—so I will briefly state my case as not walking through the door with a negative outlook.

For me, Faithless are one of those seminal bands. Their work may not have been prolific in quantity, but the quality of the classics that are Insomnia and We Come One give them a get out of jail free card on any further expectation. I’m not going to pretend I have a really deep relationship with their lesser known works, I don’t. I have their albums, but never play them. Why bother when I will never get bored of those incredible anthems. I remember hearing insomnia on the dancefloor for the first time in a club in Mallorca. It must have ben pre release be-cause everybody looked as lost as me when the chimes of Big Ben suddenly cut through the mix. Hearing it for the first time you didn’t know where it was going, but I remember sensing this is gonna be good.—it was, and some. Best Dance track ever? I don’t like those type of questions but if pushed, yes it probably is. My all time favourite. I got to see them live around 2000 I guess, an incredible night, and since then ‘we come one‘ has been with me daily as my ringtone - . Both records have been near the front of my box permanently. In the run up I was posting ‘days to go’ faithless nonsense on facebook like a teen with her first boy band crush. Most sig-nificantly perhaps I even got the paper finished early and got to go out Wednesday night for the first time since I started in my current job. So you can probably tell, I’m a bit of a fan. Claire B and I have very different views on going to see old bands still playing. She loves it and though my often aired

view that huge names in music have an obligation to die be-fore 30 is probably a little strong, I am just wanting to ensure we are spared the hideous spectacle of Kirk Brandon with jowls, and marc almond on the breakfast tv sofa plugging another comeback with tales of cum. I think some memories are best left as exactly that, not dilut-ed with a weaker version 20 years on. I didn’t think that possible from faithless, because I consid-ered them just too cool. I expected that in the intervening 16 years they would have honed their major contributions to the history of music into some 25 minute long seminal work that had people dropping to the floor in worship and/or an involuntary collapse of legs through orgasm. I thought I would be hearing music for angels played by god’s chosen ones. Nice of them to say he was a DJ, but I knew it was you all the time, kind of thing. But it just wasn’t. It was just faithless. Now as I said at the outset, just faithless is better than the majority of bands at their best, but for me it was just a bit, well, flat. I never want to be conscious that a band are playing because they want their fee, and that is what it felt like. Having said that everybody I know (except one person, Dar-ren Hanna take a bow) said they thought it was brilliant, and judging by how many of them were determined to record it on their phones I guess they must be right.


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Hamilton botches start but recovers to take second behind Rosburg Hamilton got off the line at the same time as the other cars but immediately fell behind, dropping to sixth before the first corner. Hamilton, who effectively lost the race in the first 20 metres when the lights went out, now leads the title race with 250 points ahead of Rosberg on 248. Rosberg, who started second, took the early lead and cruised to his seventh win of the season, second straight this year and first of his career at the storied Monza circuit, which has hosted more F1 racing than any other track. Rosberg also cut Hamilton's cham-pionship lead to two points with seven races remaining. Hamilton climbed his way back

through the field to finish second. Ferrari's Sebastian Vettel

and Kimi Raikkonen crossed third and fourth, respectively. It was Rosberg's first Italian win, his seventh of the season and 21st of his career, boosting his champion-ship challenge with seven races remaining. Rosberg said: "Thank you very much guys. It's great to win Italy." It was also the 50th podium finish of Rosberg's career and prevented Hamilton completing a cherished hat-trick of Italian wins, to equal a feat achieved only once before by Juan Manuel Fangio in the 1950's, and register his 50th career victory. It was the first time in seven years that the race was not won by the driver starting from pole position. Daniel Ricciardo finished fifth for Red Bull ahead of Valtteri Bottas of Williams, Dutch teenager Max Verstappen who was seventh in the second Red Bull, Sergio Perez of Force India, retirement-bound Fe-lipe Massa in the second Williams and German Nico Hulkenberg in the second Force India. Crashes, retirements The first lap also saw a huge crash between Renault and Sauber rook-ies. Felipe Nasr and Joylon Palmer

collided on the first lap. Nasir was handed a 10-second penalty by race stewards. Ultimately both drivers retired from the race. Man-or driver Pascal Werhlein also re-tired from the race due to mechani-cal issues.

Drivers' Championship

Standings 1. Lewis Hamilton (GBR) 250 points 2. Nico Rosberg (GER) 248 3. Daniel Ricciardo (AUS) 161 4. Sebastian Vettel (GER) 143 5. Kimi Rikknen (FIN) 136 6. Max Verstappen (NED) 121 7. Valtteri Bottas (FIN) 70 8. Sergio Prez (MEX) 62

9. Nico Hlkenberg (GER) 46 10. Felipe Massa (BRA) 41

Remaining Races Sep 18 Singapore Grand Prix Oct 02 Malaysian Grand Prix Oct 09 Japanese Grand Prix Oct 23 United States Grand Prix Oct 30 Mexican Grand Prix

OMG! England Win At Cricket And Football! Cricket Didn't they do well, Captain Morgan's boys! OK they lost the last match of the ODI Series but by that time they already had the Series won, as they were leading by 4-0 having won the 3rd and 4th matches last week. The 3rd match was just incredible and just proves that this current set of players are definitely becoming a very good outfit under Morgan, Bayliss and Farbrace, as they absolutely pulverised Pakistan scoring a massive 444 in their 50 overs, a new World Record score for an ODI and including a new English ODI individual record of 171 scored by Alex Hales. Having won that one by 190 odd runs, the 4th was much closer with England winning by 4 wickets to take that 4-0 Series lead. Finally, at Cardiff, with England going for their first ever home ODI whitewash (5-0) under grey Welsh skies, Pakistan at last pulled their socks up and showed some pride to win by 4 wickets despite a gallant 87 from England's Roy. So, just the T20 to come on Wednesday before the Pakistanis wend their weary way home and England look forward to their upcoming tour to Bangladesh and India during the win-ter, after a superb summer of home internationals, stuffing Sri Lanka in the Tests, ODI's and T20, and then sharing the Tests 2-2 with Pakistan, winning the ODI Series and hopefully, the T20. Well done to all and Cricket England is certainly looking good for the future!

Rugby Union and t'was the opening round of the new Premiership season over the w/end and there were some small shocks vis-a-vis Newcastle, hotly tipped for relegation this season, winning against Sale and Bath, after their miserable season last term, winning at Northampton for the first time for many a year. Elsewhere, champions Saracens carried on where they left off last season, winning yet again, this time 35-3 against Worces-

ter, Leicester won at Gloucester, Wasps at Exeter and Harlequins were pushed all the way but eventually

won at home 21-19 against promoted Bristol.

Rugby League Changing codes, and it's still the Super 8's in England and a change at t'top o' t'table with Warrington the new leaders from Hull, as they beat Catalans in the Pyrenees 25-22 while Hull drop to 2nd but only a point behind with Wigan in 3rd 2 points further back, followed by St Helens, Catalans, Castle-ford, Widnes and Wakefield.

Tennis now and it's over to Flushing Meadow, New York for the US Open, the final Major of the year and what a surprise as Brit-ain supplied FIVE players (4 men and a woman) in the 3rd Round for the first time for God knows how long! Forget the fact that we're now in to the 4th and 5th rounds (Quarters) and only Andy Murray remains but great credit must go to Kyle Edmund who beat two higher seeded players Gasquet and Isner) to reach the 4th round only to come up against World No 1 Djokovic, to Dan Evans for reaching the 3rd round and who almost beat the No 4 seed Wawrinka and to Johanna Konta, who eventually ran out of steam, just when she had to play an unseeded player in the 4th round and was clear favourite to do so. So, in the end, and as usual, Murray's flying the flag and is now in to the Quarters after beating unseeded Italian, Lorenzi! Will he go all the way and win his 2nd US Open? If he gets to the Final, which I think he will, odds on he will have to play Djokovic and I can see him beat-ing the Serb, as Novak doesn't seem to have got over his personal problems which have been bugging him all summer and also he still has a dicky wrist, so go for it, Andy!

Cycling Commiserations to Chris Froome, as in his quest to win the Vuelta de España to cap off a stunning year (Tour de France and Olympic medal) and become the first cyclist to win the TdF and Vuelta since 1978, he was handily placed in 2nd to his main rival, Colombian Quintana, but thanks to a disastrous last stage is now 3.37 minutes behind and with only 5 stages to go, he literally has “a mountain to climb” to even get near the Colombian but as he says, he's not a quitter and will cer-tainly go for it.

Golf

Typical! After last week's report regarding the upcoming Ryder Cup I strongly advised Europe captain Darren Clark to go for his countryman McDowell in his last wildcard pick but no, he went for the rookie Belgian Pieters, who, I must admit has had a great season. But, just remember, Mr Clark, by these decisions you can rise or fall, so let's hope you were holding your lucky Irish 4 leaf clover and that choice turns out to be a matchwinner! Elsewhere great news for Clark and especially Rory Mac as he came right back to form with his best performance of the year as he won the Deutsche Bank Championship in Boston, Mass. with a superb 65 in the final round and a score of 15 under to win by 2 shots from Eng-land's Paul Casey who had a disastrous final round of 73 but at least showed that he is on his way back to form. Well, that's about it for this week as I head off to the main-land for a mini-break and R and R with “'er indoors!”, 5 days, yes, that's all, for our first and last holiday of the year. Oh, whoops, dearie me, I almost forgot as it was so far in the back of my mind, in

Football England, as if we really care now, won their first qualifying match under new manager Sam Allardyce in their World Cup Group, beating Slovakia 1-0 in Trnava with a 95th minute goal as Liverpool's Lallana scored his first international goal after 26 appearances! Come back Stevie G and Lamps, please! Not a disaster then but not far from it, as these stats prove: in two matches against Slovakia (this one and in June at Euro 16) England had 45 shots on goal, with 10 on target and scored ONE and England captain Rooney did not have one touch in the opposition's box through the whole of this match! No wonder I'd rather watch one of my cats having a poo in the litter box or even watch paint dry than England playing footie. What a turn off, the football not the poo! Better news for Scotland as they trounced those internation-al giants of Malta 5-1, while Northern Ireland drew 0-0 with the Czech Republic and Wales carried on their Euro16 form as the best national team in GB, as they humbled Moldova 4-0 in Cardiff with Gareth Bale netting a brace. That's definitely it for now, must get my bags packed, board-ing passes printed and mustn't forget to clean the cat litter otherwise Lily and Charlie, our dependable and pet-loving villa-sitters will not be happy bunnies! Seeya! ……………………...Jezza

Monza GP

Jezza’s World of Sport

Sport


Cinema Returns Santa Eulalia

Teatroespana recommences its programme of films screened in the original English, with Spanish subtitles. Fri 9th to Sun 11th Sept @21-00h The Program (2015 PG 15 1hr 43mins) An Irish sports journalist becomes convinced that Lance Armstrong's performances during the Tour de France victories are fuelled by banned substances. With this convic-tion, he starts hunting for evidence that will expose Arm-strong. Stars: Ben Foster, Chris O'Dowd, Guillaume Canet. Showing Wed 14 & Fri 16th to Sun 19th Sept @19:00h Café Society (2016 PG 12A 1h 36min) In the 1930s, a young Bronx native moves to Hollywood where he falls in love with the secretary of his powerful uncle, an agent to the stars. After returning to New York, he is swept up in the vibrant world of high society nightclub life. Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Steve Carell

Free Family Beach Fun. Cala Llonga Brian Whetton

This coming Sunday 11th Sept Circo-lar are performing from mid-day to 10pm on the beach in Cala LLonga. Circo-lar is an all-round family show, suitable for anyone aged from 0 to 99 years old. It offers a perfect mixture of culture and entertainment unit-ing the best magic spectacles with music, dance, theatre and juggling with the opportunity of audience participation, if you so desire! Circo-lar is presented by Berrobamban members and it's claimed to be one of the most entertaining and interesting shows of the country. It’s all FREE and it's here in Cala LLonga.

Ibosim Special Edition Launch Party Port des Torrent

In anticipation of the forthcoming Ibiza Beer Festival on Sep-tember 16th, the islands own craft brewers Ibosim are hold-ing a launch party for their new special edition beer. The event is taking place at their brewery on Cala Valencia, in Port des Torrent from 7pm on Saturday 10th September. They promise countless surprises including a prize draw, and music from Eva Pacifico and Hoppy Dread playing an eclectic session.

Casi Todo Art & Jewel-lery Auction. Ibiza

In addition to recommencing their regular auctions at the Santa Gertrudis headquarters, Casi Todo have added a special Art & Jewellery date to their schedule, including the facility to have articles valued by experts. Based in Ibiza Town’s Royal Plaza Hotel, Valuations are availa-ble by appointment on the 14th and 15th.

viewing is over the 14th, 15th and 16th, with the auction itself being held at 7pm on Friday 16th. See advert .

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