MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 1

Fam

ily F

orum

FALL 2011

Family Forum is the

newsletterof the

Minnesota Council on

Family Relations, a

state affiliate of the

National Council on

Family Relations

Friday, December 2, 2011 SAVE THE DATE! MCFR Annual ConferenceFeaturing nationally acclaimed speaker, U of Arkansas’ Dr. H. Wallace Goddard

Como Park Visitor Center, Rainforest Auditorium, St Paul, MN

The Minnesota Council on Family

Relations strengthens all

families by educating and

supporting family professionals and

promoting connections

among those involved in

research, policy and practice.

Annual Elections Issue!PleasereviewthefollowingMCFRSlateofBoardnominees,thenprintyour

ballot(page5)andfaxitto651‐407‐1754byNovember15.

President Elect:  Mary Maher, MSW, LPEhasaMaster'sdegreeinSocialworkfromtheUniversityofMinnesotaandisalicensedparenteducator.ShehasworkedfortheChildbirthEducationAssociation(5years),EarlyChildhoodFamilyEducation(26years),ParentWarmline(2years),UniversityofMinnesota(4years)anddonevariousspecialprojectsfortheDepartmentofEducationandMinnesota'sExtensionService.SheiscurrentlyemployedatNorthwestYouthandFamilyServices. HerBoardexperienceincludesapriortermontheMCFRboardandservingontheDownSyndromeAssociationofMinnesotaandTheresaLivingCenterBoardofDirectors.AgoalshehasforMCFRistoincreaseservicestostudentmembersandincreaseourmembershiptoincludeadiversityoffamilyprofessionals. MarylivesinRosevillewithherhusbandMarkandtheirdogAstro.Sheisadjustingtoanemptynest.

Secretary: Kristin Dillon, MS, PhDisaResearchScientistatWilderResearch.Inherwork,sheevaluatesprogramsthatimpactfamiliesinmanydifferentways.Sheevaluatesarangeofprogramsfromsmallonesaimedat

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MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 2

From the President Leanne SponselMinnesota Council on Family Relations

Board of DirectorsPresident

..............Leanne Sponsel 651-646-1474

President-Elect.........................San Ha 952-285-8685

Immediate Past President...................Beth Yokom 763-506-2469

Secretary..............Michael Brown 651-582-8399

Treasurer................Heather Cline 612-624-3082

Membership Committee Chair ..............Nancy Melquist 651-303-1219

Policy Committee Chair..............................Volunteer Needed

Communications Committee Chair....................Peg Lindlof 651-735-2489

Ethical Practices Project Chair..................Betty Cooke 952-545-0588

Spring Conference Chair................Heather Cline 612-624-3082

Ethics Workshops Coordinating Committee Chairs

.....................Rose Allen 651-480-7745.................Minnell Tralle 763-767-3881

Student Section Chair.............Alisha Hardman 612-616-6906

NCFR Representative.................Minnell Tralle 763-767-3881

Past Presidents....................Ada Alden 612-975-6990

......Marcie Brooke, CFLE 661-714-5162......................Ron Pitzer 612-331-1970

At-Large Members..................MIke Bender 763-331-4443...................Kristin Dillon 612-484-4014

............Eric Hansen, EdD 612-692-1318.............Nancy Melquist 651-407-2024............Raelene Ostberg 507-645-2948

................Monica Potter 612-239-8312................Sharon Powell 612-729-7459

....................Nicole Rice 612-799-2858.......Holly Weisert, CFLE 651-788-0425

Family Forum Editor: ......................Ron Pitzer 612-331-1970

Family Forum Managing Editor: ...............Linda Vukelich 651-278-4241

Minnesota Council on Family Relations2738 Evergreen Cir, St. Paul, MN 55110

phone: 651-407-0950 fax: 651-407-1754www.mcfr.net

Hello to all, 

It’sfall!Ummmm,It’ssummer!Ummmm.Whattimeofyearisit?!IknowitisOctober,buttheweatherforecastpredicts80degrees–anicedaytoenjoyboththeemergingcolorsandthesunshine.Wow. As2011beginsitslastquarter,IamlookingforwardtoMCFR’s“wow”ofaconference.OnourtraditionaldateofthefirstFridayinDecember–December2–wehavetheopportunityto

learnfromDr.WallyGoddardandothersaboutimportantaspectsofourworkwithfamilies.The Power of Relationships – Enhancing Skill‐based Practicewillsurelybeaconferencethatcouldbelifeandprofessionalpracticechanging.Ihopeyou’lljoinus! Andspeakingofjoiningus...therearepositionsopenonourboardandwewouldwelcomenewandreturningfaces.Ifyou’renotinterestedinaboardposition,howaboutparticipatinginaone‐timeeventorservingonacommittee?Iknowit’soddto“invite”yourselftosucharole,butwewouldbegratefulandsoenthusiasticitmightblowyouover.Andspeakingofbeingblownover,awindgustjustcreatedaflurryofleavesoutsidemywindow–probablyareminderformetogetonwithmyday. Wishingyouacolorfulfall,LeanneM.Sponsel

supportingteenagemothersorpreventingchildmaltreatmenttolargestatewidealcohol,tobacco,andotherdrugpreventioninitiativesthatengagefamiliesandcommunitiestokeepyouthhealthyandsafe.Asanevaluator,shehelpstomakesurethatprogramsareservingfamiliesaseffectivelyaspossible. KristinhasherMSandPh.D.inFamilySocialSciencefromtheUniversityofMinnesota. ShehasbeenaboardmemberofMCFRforthepastsixyears.Inthattimeshehashelddifferentpositionsontheboard,fromtheStudentSectionfounderandchairtotheTreasurertothechairorco‐chairofthreeconferences.Sheappreciatesthewarmthandpassionoftheboard,andisexcitedfortheopportunitytoexploreanewroleontheboard.

Treasurer: Beth Yokom, LPE, MA, ECFE/SR Supervisor ‐ Anoka‐Hennepin School DistrictIworkedfor14yearsasalicensedparenteducatorintheMoundsViewECFEprogram,including8yearsintheFamilyLearningProgram,afamilyliteracyprogramfundedbyEvenStart.Since2006,I’veworkedasanECFE/SRPSupervisorintheAnoka‐HennepinSchoolDistrict.Also,IhaveexperienceasaworkshopdesignerandtrainerforvariousprojectsinFamily

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MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 3

LiteracyandECFE,andI’mamemberoftheMNECFECurriculumCommittee,whoserecentprojecthasbeenthecreationandpublicationofMinnesota’sParentEducationCoreCurriculumFramework. EducationalBackground:

• BA,ConcordiaCollege,Moorhead,MN• ParentEducationLicense,UMN• GraduateFellowship,UMN• MA,FamilyEducation,UMN

MyhusbandandIareadjustingtoasometimes‐emptynestasouryoungadultchildrenfindtheirwayintheworld–noeasytaskrightnow,evenwithacollegedegree.So,theycomeandtheygoandtheycomeandtheygo…Ilovetosing,read,knit,travel,hike,communewithnatureandgoodfriends,gotoplaysandconcerts,andsleep!Myferventwishistofindtimeinmydaystosewandquilt,andmaybetorevivemygolfgame,dormantformanyyears. IenjoyservingontheMCFRBoardbecauseofthevarietyoffamilyprofessionalsMCFRserves.We,whoworkwithfamilies,havemuchtoteachoneanother,andMCFRprovidesopportunitiestodojustthat.Becauseit’sagreatgatheringplaceforfamilyprofessionals,MCFRisprofessionallyenergizing. MCFRBoardExperience:

• ConferencePlanningCommittee,Dec.2006• Secretary• CommunicationsCommitteeChair• President‐Elect,President,PastPresident

At Large Board Members:Mike Brown, EdD EarlyChildhoodEducationSpecialist,MinnesotaDepartmentofEducationMikeBrownworksattheMinnesotaDepartmentofEducation.Atthestatelevel,heworkswithEarlyChildhoodFamilyEducation,HeadStartandSchoolReadiness.HereceivedhisB.A.inpsychologyandsociologyfromtheUniversityofMinnesotain1996.HealsoreceivedhisM.Ed.andEd.D.inFamilyEducationfromtheUniversityofMinnesota,in1998and2007,respectively.HeisalsoanadjunctinstructorattheUniversityofMinnesota. MikelivesinBlaine,MN,withhiswifeandtwochildren.

Carol Bruess, PhD MyprimaryworkisasaProfessorofFamilyCommunicationandDirectorofFamilyStudiesattheUniversityofSt.Thomas.WhileI'vebeenatUSTfor14years,myinterestinthestudyoffamilybegan20yearsagowhenIconductedmyfirststudyonmarriageandthedevelopmentofaco‐culturebetweencoupleswhoshareprivatelanguage,likenicknames.SincethenIhavebeenstudyingandteachingaboutfamiliesandmarriages,specificallyritualsofconnectionindaily,mundaneinteraction.I'mpassionateabouttranslatingexcellentresearchonfamilyandrelationshipsintosourcesthatarewidelyconsumedbyindividualsinmarriages,partnershipsandfamiliestohelpthemhavesmarter,strongerandmoreinspiredinteractions.I'vewritten3hybridbooks‐‐scholarshipinprettygiftbookform‐‐onhappycouples,keepingmarriagestrongwhencouplesarealsoparenting,andritualsofconnectionsustainingstrongfemalebonds. MyM.A.andPh.D.arebothfromOhioUniversity'sSchoolofInterpersonalCommunication.IhaveaB.A.inArt. Ilovebeerandhotyoga(notatthesametime),amabouttocelebrate20yearsofhappycoupledomtomycollegesweetheartBrian,amanavidseamstressandrecentlymademysister'sweddingdress,havetworeallycoolkids(Tonyis15andhasagreatsenseofhumorandhisfirstjobatDavanni'sonCleveland/GrandAve;Gracieis11andjustabouteverythingmakesherhappy,especiallyifshecancraftit,kickitaroundafield,catchitwithaglove,orswiminit).WealsohaveFred(woof),our5.5lbYorkie,theyoungestandmostspoiledmemberofourfamily. Assomeonerathernewtothefieldoffamilystudies,yetwantingtolearnasmuchasIcanbecauseIseetheincrediblepassion,excitementanddesireofsomanyofourstudents,I'mexcitedtobeaneagerlearnerintheMCFRjourneyandshare‐fromanovice,fresh,outsiderperspective‐whatMCFRlooks/feelslikefrommymulti‐disciplinary

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MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 4

vantagepoint.Honestly,Ialsolovemeetingotherswholovestudying/workingwithfamilies;mybestguessisthatwillhappenbyjoiningtheMCFRboard?!

Peggy Cardenas MyworkasaSchoolSocialWorkeratSunnysideElementaryinMoundsViewSchoolDistricthasbeenthefocusofmycareersince1990.Priortothisexperience,IworkedforWilderFoundationfor11years.Icurrentlyworkwithelementaryschoolchildrenandtheirfamiliesaroundmanyissues,including:familychanges,familychemicaldependency,mentalhealthconcerns,social

issuesandacademicconcerns.Imeetwithchildrenindividuallyandinsocialskillsgroupsandhelpthemwithproblemsthatoccurintheirlives.Matchingfamilieswithcommunityresourcesisamajorfocusinmypositionandisalwaysachallenge.Ienjoyservingonseveralcommitteeswithintheschooldistrictandinthecommunity. MyMSWisfromSt.ThomasUniversityandmyBAinSocialWorkandEarlyChildhoodTeachingCertificateisfromtheUniversityofMinnesota. Iamaproudmotherof2childrenandanequallyproudgrandmotherof5children.Iloveanimalsandcurrentlyhave2dogsandacat.Ienjoywatchingsports,playingsports,biking,hiking,readingandquilting.Ienjoyspendingtimewithmyfamilyandwithmyfriends.Ilovetotravelandhopetodomoreofit.Beingapartofagroupofpeoplewhoareworkinginthefieldoffamilyrelationsandhelpingfamiliesnavigatetheirwaythroughresourcesinourcommunity,isveryappealingtome.IbelieveitwillbeagrowthexperienceformeandaplaceformetocontributesomeofthethingsIhavelearnedinworkingwithfamilies.

Colleen ClementsIhavebeenanactivemotherandvolunteerinvariouscapacities(includingGirlScoutleader,ReadingIsFundamentalschoolcoordinator,schoolreadinggroupleader,andothers)forthelast14years,andrecentlycompletedmylicensurerequirementsandMEdinparenteducationattheUniversityofMinnesota.IamcurrentlyaPhDstudentattheU,intheFamily,YouthandCommunitytrack,withanemphasisinFamily.Areasoffocusincludeparenteducationandfamilypolicy.Inaddition,IsharethepositionofcoordinatoroftheParentandFamilyEducationLicensureProgramattheUniversityofMinnesotawithHeatherCline.MyhusbandandIhavethreekids:a14‐year‐oldsonand11‐year‐oldboy/girltwins.WeliketotraveltogetherandhavehadthegreatgoodfortuneofvisitingEuropeandtheBritishIsles,aswellasanumberofstatesintheUS(27andcounting!).Wealsoliketocookandeatgoodfoodtogether,andweallshareapassionformusicandreading.IaminterestedinbeingontheboardofMCFRtoexpandmyownunderstandingandknowledgeaboutfamiliesinoursocietyandtodevelopmyownleadershipskills.Inaddition,IbelievemembershipontheboardofMCFRwillallowmetofindnewwaystoserveandsupportfamilies.

Beth GausmanIamaMinnesotalicensedPre‐KindergartenandParentandFamilyEducatoraswellasaCertifiedFamilyLifeEducator.IamcurrentlywritingabookonfacilitatingonlinelearningforadultlearnersthroughParentingPressandIamworkingwithElizabethCraryasshebringsherbookSTARParentingtothegeneralpublicthroughonlinelearningsystems.Additionally,IwillbeginworkingwithConcordiaCollegeinthespringasanonlineeducatorwiththeirFamilyLifeEducationProgramofstudy.Mypreviousworkopportunitieshaveincluded;childcareatacenterforat‐riskchildren,ECEandParentEducatorwithDistrict279ECFE,authorofSoundFoundations‐aparentingkitforat‐riskparentsofyoungchildren,andinstructorinanearlychildhoodeducationprogramatacommunitycollege. IhaveaBachelorsofSciencedegreefromtheUniversityofMinnesotainHomeEconomicswithadditionalfocusareasofstudyinEarlyChildhoodEducationandParentEducation.MyMastersdegreeisinPostSecondaryandAdultEducationfromCapellaUniversity. IameagertojointheboardofMCFRasamemberatlarge.Iwaspreviouslyontheboardinthe1990’sbutleftsoonaftermyappointmentwhenmyhusbandandImovedourfamilytoanotherstate.Priortomyleavingin1994,IservedontheEthicsCommitteeduringwhichtimetheoriginalEthicalThinkingandPracticeforParentandFamilyLifeEducatorswaspublished.

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MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 5

InmytimeawayfrommyprofessionalendeavorsIenjoyreading,hikingandtimespentatmyfamiliesremotecabin“upnorth”.InthesummerIameagertofindtimetospendinmykayakandinthewintertreadingaroundonmysnowshoes.MyhusbandandIareproudparentsoftwoadultsons,whocontinuetobringuspleasureandpride.

Alisha M. Hardman, CFLEIreceivedmyBachelor’sofScienceinFamilyStudiesandHumanServicesatKansasStateUniversityinMay2005andcompletedmyMastersofScienceinFamilyLifeEducationandConsultationalsoatKansasStateinAugustof2008.ImovedtoMinnesotainAugustof2008andamcurrentlyadoctoralstudentattheUniversityofMinnesotaintheDepartmentofCurriculumandInstructionFamily,YouthandCommunityprogramtrack.IaminmyfourthyearasagraduateresearchassistantwiththeUniversityofMinnesotaExtensionCenterforFamilyDevelopmentResearchandEvaluationUnit.InthisroleIconsulton,design,collectdata,analyzedataandwriteupreportsandarticlesforanumberofresearchandevaluationprojects.IamanavidK‐StatefootballandbasketballfansowatchingthegamesismyfavoritepastimewhenI'mnotbusywithcourseworkormyassistantship.IhaveservedontheboardastheStudent/NewProfessionalchairthepasttwoyearsandameagertocontinueservingontheboardinanewcapacity.

Lisa Krause, MA, isafamilylifeeducationstudentandcertifiedparentcoach.ShefoundedtheadoptionandfostercareministryatCalvaryLutheranChurchinGoldenValleywheresheprovidessupportgroups,parenteducationandyouthdevelopmentprogramsforadoptedandfostercareyouth.Shealsohasexperienceworkingasadomesticabuseadvocateandchildcareprovider.Hercurrentpassionisprogramdevelopmentparticularlyintheareaofadoption/fostercare,youthdevelopmentandparenteducation. Lisaisamotheroftwowonderfulteensandatwentyyearold.Sheisenjoyingseeinghowhernewroleasaparentofanadultisunfolding.Herfavoriteactivitiesarescrapbooking,campingandgeocaching. AsmyschoolingiscomingtoanendIwantedtofindawaytocontinueworkingwithcolleagueswhosharethesamepassionsforfamiliesasIdowhilefurtherstrengtheningthecredibilityofthefieldoffamilylifeeducation.BeingontheMCFRboardwouldmeetthosegoals.•B.A.Psychology‐St.CloudStateUniversity•M.A.FamilyLifeEducation‐ConcordiaUniversitytobecompletedinFebruaryof2012.•CertifiedParentCoach‐ConcordiaUniversity,St.Paul.

Gail Peavey, MSForthelastfourteenyears,IhavebeenemployedwithUniversityofWisconsin‐CooperativeExtensionasaFamilyLivingAgentandCo‐DepartmentHeadforthePolkCountyExtensionOfficeinBalsamLake,WI.Mycareerasanextensionagenthasprovidedmenumeroustrainingsandopportunitiestoenhancefamilyrelationships,promotepositiveparentingandco‐parentingstrategiesandhelpfamiliesmeetfuturefinancialneedswhileaddressingthebasicofspending,saving,andhousingissues.PriortomycareerwithUWExtension,IworkedforeightyearsasaparenteducatorintheMarshall,MNECFEprogram. IreceivedmyundergraduatedegreeinBusinessEducationandtaughtbusinessforfouryearspriortochoosingoneofthemostimportantcareersandthatbeingawifeandmothertothreechildren.Whenouryoungestwasthreeyearsold,Istartedpart‐timeasaparenteducatorforECFEandbeganthenon‐traditionaleducationaljourneyofgraduateschoolwhereIearned(aftereightyears)myMastersofScienceinChildandFamiliesStudiesfromStCloudStateUniversitywithalicenseinEarlyChildhoodandParentEducation.Bothmyundergraduateandgraduatedegreeandteachingcareerpreparedmeformynewroleasanextensioneducator. Oneofmyfavoritejoysinlifeisspendingtimewithourgrandchildren.Everyweek,mygrandsonandIplaytogetheratECFEinBurnsville.WhenRuger‘graduates’fromECFE,thatspecialplaytimewillcontinuewithhisyoungerbrother.MyhusbandandIalsoenjoytravelingandexperiencingdifferentculturesandfoodsaswellasrelaxingatourcabinonasmallWisconsinlake. Ilookforwardtonetworkingwithcolleaguesasacontributingmemberandalsogainingprofessionalknowledgeandexperiencesinhelpingfulfillthemission.

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MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 6

Heather Cline, MCFR Treasurer

MCFRhashadanenergizingandprosperous2011.ThespringconferencefeaturingDr.DavidWalshbroughtinnearly$6,000inregistrationincome,andcostus$3,700inexpenses.Thankstoconferenceparticipation,includingongoingethicsworkshops,andmembershiprenewalsourcurrentbalanceis$10,266.02.Thisisup$4,193.66fromSeptember2010.Aswelooktowardtheendof2011,withtheDecemberconferencestillonthehorizon,weareproudofouraccomplishmentsandthankfultoallwhohavecontributedtoourgrowth.Withyourcontinuedsupport,MCFRwillcontinuepursuingourmissiontoeducate,support,andconnectfamilyprofessionals.

Communications Committee ReportPegLindlof,CommunicationsCommitteeChair

TheMCFRCommunicationsCommitteeisworkingtobecomemorevisibleinternallyasaresourceformembers,andexternallyasasourceofinformationandexpertiseaboutfamilyissuesthroughoutthelifespan.IfyouareamemberofMCFR(oranNCFRmemberwholivesinMinnesota)youaregettingweeklyMinneNewsupdates.

Ifyouaren’tamember,butenjoyreadingthisnewsletterpublishedthreetimesayear,we’dliketoinviteyoutobecomemoreinvolved.Letusknowwhatkindsofprofessionaldevelopmentopportunitiesyouneedthatarenotcurrentlyavailabletoyou.Feedbackfrommembersiswelcomeandalwayscarefullyconsidered.

MembersoftheMembershipandCommunicationscommitteesarecollaboratingthroughaMarketingTaskForce.Duringtherestof2011wewillalsocollaboratewiththeStudentSectiontoexplorehowsocialmediamightimproveorenhanceourcommunicationandmarketingefforts.

MCFRmembersarewelcometopostevents,news,questionsorideasonourlistserv.SendyouremailmessagetoMCFR@lists.umn.edu.ContactSanHaathaxx0039@umn.edutopostyourorganization’slinkoreventonthewebsite.

Committee Reports Treasurer’s Corner

$Have you renewed your MCFR membership? ThetermforMCFRmembershipisSeptember1–August31.MCFRmembersreceivedanemailmembershiprenewalreminderonSeptember1,2011.

Why you should join MCFR or renew your membership: MCFR’smissionsupportsyouandyourwork.It'saninvestmentinyourprofessionalidentity.MCFRoffersyou

‐aprofessionalworkingwithfamilies‐opportunitiestolearn,connectandtakeactionwithothersinthefamilyfield.MCFRistheMinnesotaaffiliateoftheNationalCouncilonFamilyRelations(NCFR.) Yourmembershipalsosavesyoumoney,withreducedfeesforMCFRconferencesandworkshops. Visitwww.mcfr.nettolearnmoreaboutallofthebenefitsandactivitiesofMCFR.Ifyouwouldpreferamembershiprenewalapplicationmailedtoyou,calltheMCFRofficeat651‐407‐0950.

Membership Committee ReportHave you renewed your MCFR Membership?

NancyMelquist,MembershipCommitteeChair

MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 7

It’s hard to believe thattwoyearshavepassedandinNovemberI’llfinishmytermontheNCFRBoardofDirectorsandtakethehelmoftheAffiliateCouncilsBoardasPresident.RoseAllenwilltakemyplaceontheBoardofDirectorsinhernewroleasPresident‐electoftheAffiliateCouncils.IhavelearnedsomuchabouttheNCFRorganizationandmetsomewonderfulandcommittedboardmembersaswell.Ifyouareeveraskedtoservethisorganization,Iwouldencourageyoutodoso.WehavegreatleadershippotentialhereinMinnesota.

The NCFR Annual Conference is coming up November 16‐19 in Orlando.Ifyouhaven’tdoneso,takealookattheprogramatwww.ncfr.org.Thereare

lotsofinterestingworkshopsrelatedtothetheme“FamiliesandtheShiftingEconomy”.Scanningtheprogram,InoticedanumberoffamiliarnamesincludingMCFRBoardmembers,PegLindlof,AlishaHardmannandme.OtherMinnesotascholarspresentingatNCFRincludeJodiDworkin,JenniferDoty,KathrynRettig,JeanBauer,PaulineBoss,SusanWalker,KatherineWickel,CatherineSolheim,NancyGonzalez,PaulRosenblatt,EllieMcCann,andMaryMarczak.I’msureImissedothers,butwhatalineup!Ihopetoseeyouthere.

MinnellTralle,AffiliateCouncilsPresident‐electNCFRLiasontoMCFR

What’s New at NCFR by Minnell Tralle, CFLE

Ethics Project to be ReviewedMCFRispleasedtobethedistributoroftheEthical Thinking and Practiceworkshopsandwearegettingrequestsfromawidevarietyofinterestedprofessionalswhoworkwithfamilies.Weareintheprocessofdecidingifandhowtoadaptmaterialsforeachaudienceaswellasageneralreviewoftheproject.IfyouhaveattendedanEthical Thinking and Practiceworkshop,wewouldvalueyourfeedback!Thinkaboutwhatyoulearned,howyouusedtheinformation,and/orwhatyou'dstillliketolearn.Thenletusknow!SendinformationtoLeanneSponsel,PresidentofMCFRatleannemsponsel@gmail.com.

Thanksforyourinput. LeanneSponsel,MCFRPresident

Stay in touch at www.mcfr.net

Sharon Powell, PhD earnedherMastersdegreeinHumanDevelopmentCounselingfromVanderbiltUniversity(1994)andherdoctorateinFamilySocialSciencefromtheUniversityofMinnesota(2004).Herprofessionalinterestsincludefamilypolicy,childdevelopment,andlow‐incomefamilyissues.ShecurrentlydivideshertimeteachingadjunctattheUinFamilySocialScienceandservingastheFamilyandChildren’sProgramCoordinatorattheSpiritofSt.Stephen’sCatholicCommunity.

The Ballot is found on page 8.

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MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 8

2011 MCFR Board BallotPresident‐Elect: (Choose or write‐in one nominee)  ☐MaryMaher,MSW,LPE

☐______________________________________

Secretary: (Choose or write‐in one nominee)    Treasurer: (Choose or write‐in one nominee)

☐KristinDillon,MS,PhD☐ BethYokom,LPE,MA

☐______________________________________☐ ______________________________________

At‐Large Members: (Choose or write‐in up to nine nominees)☐MichaelP.Brown,EdD ☐ AlishaM.Hardman,CFLE

☐CarolBruess,PhD☐ LisaKrause,MA

☐PeggyCardenas☐ GailPeavey,MS

☐ColleenClements☐ SharonPowell,PhD☐BethGausman

☐_____________________________________

DIRECTIONS

Pleaseprintthispage,thenreturnyourcompletedballottoMCFRviafax(651‐407‐1754)

orUSmailto: MinnesotaCouncilonFamilyRelations 2738EvergreenCircle St.PaulMN55110.

Ballots are due by November 15, 2011 Thank you.

MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 9

Student/New Professional Events

Inanefforttoprovidestudentsandnewprofessionals withmoreopportunities,theS/NPsectionwillbehostingtwoeventseachsemester.TheseeventswillrangefromworkshopsthathelpstudentsandnewprofessionalsdevelopskillstosocialeventsthatallowS/NPstogathertogethertosocializewithoneanother. Wehadasmallgroupofstudentsandfamilyprofessionalsmeetforourfirstfallevent,heldonFriday,October7.Thediscussionfeaturedtwofamilyprofessionals:WilliamAllen,alicensedmarriageandfamilytherapistandNancyMelquistwhoisalicensedparenteducator.Thegroupengagedinastimulatingdialogueaboutthefamilyfieldwithparticularemphasisonthevitalroleofrelationshipsinbothfamilytherapyandfamilyandparenteducation.StudentsandnewprofessionalscanfindresourcesfromthiseventincludinginformationregardingtheMinnesotalicensingrequirementsforbothMarriageandFamilyTherapistsandParentEducatorsonourwebsiteundertheFall2011topic“AConversationwithFamilyProfessionals:MarriageandFamilyTherapy&ParentEducation.”  Join us for a social gathering at Sweeney’s Saloon on Friday, November 4 from 4:30 to 6:30 pm.  Comeenjoyhappyhourappetizersandsocializewith

otherstudents!Thisisagreatopportunitytomeetandminglewithotherstudentsinfamilyrelatedprograms. Ourspringeventsincludeaworkshoponwritingandsubmittingconferenceproposalsandanotherconversationwithfamilyprofessionals.CheckourwebsiteregularlyforupdatedinformationontheseeventsandotheropportunitiesavailablethroughtheS/NPsectionofMCFR.

Professional Development Opportunities

TheMCFRFallConferenceisquicklyapproaching!Afewofthebenefitsthatstudentswhoattendwillgaininclude:theopportunitytohearakeynotepresentationbyanationally‐recognizedspeaker,anopportunitytonetworkandbecomemorefamiliarwithfamilyprofessionalsaswellastheworkbeingdonewithfamiliesinMinnesota. Thestudentrateforthisconferenceis$59butduespayingstudentmembersofMCFRareeligibletoapplyforascholarshiptoattendtheconference.Thosewhoreceiveascholarshipwillbeabletoregisterfortheconferenceforonly$29.ThescholarshipformisavailableontheS/NPwebsiteandbyclickingontheconferenceregistrationlinkontheMCFRconferencewebsite.ThedeadlineforstudentscholarshipapplicationsisNovember15.

Student/New Professional Section    Alisha Hardman, CFLE, Student Section Chair

A note from the Editor:

Thegoldenrodisyellow,thefrostisonthepumpkin,Halloweenisfastapproaching.It’sfallinMinnesotaandsotimefortheannualMCFRelections.Includedareaballotandcandidatebios.

Pleasevote.MythankstoNicoleRiceandalltheotherswhodidthehardworkofcompilingthisslateofcandidatesandtoallothercontributorstothisissue.Oh,didIsay,pleasevote?Also,IencourageeachofyoutoconsidercontributingtoFamilyForum—bypreparingabookrevieworaresearcharticle/brieforbysubmittinganitemfor“Members’Corner”(ourversionofLetterstotheEditor).Thanks.

RonPitzerFamilyForumeditor612‐331‐1970,pitzer@q.com

MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 10

ImayaswellstartthisreviewbystatingbaldlythatIthinkDavidWalsh’sbookshouldberequiredreadingforeveryparentorprospectiveparentanddefinitelymandatoryreadingforanyoneworkingwithfamilies.Inadditiontoseveralotherbooks,hehaswrittenNo:WhyKids‐‐‐ofAllAges‐‐‐NeedtoHearItandWaysParentsCanSayit,whereWalshtaughtparentshowtosay“no”whenitwasnecessary.InWhyDoTheyActThatWay?:ASurvivalGuidetotheAdolescentBrainforYouandYourTeen,heshowedparentshowtonavigatethedramaandupheavalofadolescence.[Inmyreviewofthisbook,Isuggestedthatparentsandteensorpre‐teensreadanddiscusstheimplicationsofthisbooktogether].Andnow,WalshhaswrittenSmartParenting,SmarterKids.Inthisexcitingnewbook,Walshlooksatthelatestscientificfindingsandnewandinterestingfactsaboutthebrain,frombirththroughadolescence.Inadditiontoprovidingfamilieswithsolidscientificinformationaboutthebrain,Walshalsodiscussesimportantaspectsofexercise,nutrition,play[playisakid’sjobandequipsher/himforveryimportantadultfunctions],sleep,emotionalintelligenceandsocialconnection.

Therearesixteenchaptersinthisnewbook,includingOurChildren’sAmazingBrains;HowtoRaiseYourChild’sIQ;HowtheBrainListens,Speaks,ReadsandWrites;Memory,Attention,andtheRuleofSeven[i.e.

ourbrainsaredesignedtorememberupto7chunksofinformationatatime];BrainFood:NutritionandtheBrain;PlayisSeriousBusiness;BrainWorkouts:WhyExerciseisCritical;YourBrain’satWorkWhileYouSnooze;Self‐Discipline:TheKeyToSuccess;ABrainUnderConstruction:TheAdolescentYears;BoyandGirlBrains:What’stheDifference;StressandtheBrain;CyberBrains:ParentinginanOnlineWorld;WiredDifferently:SpecialNeedsBrains,MentalIllnessandChemicalUse;Brain‐WiseDaycare,PreschoolandSchoolDecisions;andthe21st‐CenturyParent.NotesandanIndexfollow.EachchapterendswithaParentToolKit[alistofquestionstowhichyourespondyesorno],alistofDo’sandDon’ts,andthequestions“WhatdoIwanttocontinue?”and“WhatdoIwanttochange?”

Walsh’sgoalistoseparatesoundscientificfactfromfictionandurbanmythandtoprovideparentswithaguidetoraisinghappyandhealthychildrenwhocanliveuptotheirpotential.Iguaranteethatyouwilllearnsomethingnewandexcitingineachandeverychapter,andsometimeseachpage.WiththeaidofCTscans,MRIs,PETscansandSPECTscans,wenowknowmorethaneverabouthowthebrainfunctions.Forexample,thebrainisequippedwithtwokindsofattentionsystems:reactiveattention[locateddeepinthebrain’semotionalcenter,automatic,instinctiveandinvoluntary…..allowingkidstofocus

onvideogamesforhoursonend]andfocusedattention[locatedintheprefrontalcortexortheexecutivecenterrightbehindtheforehead…..notanautomaticsystembutonewhichkidsneedtolearnthingswhicharenotnecessarilyflashyorstimulatingbutimportantnonetheless,suchaswordrhymingorreadingskills].

Walshpullstogetherwhatiscurrentlyknownabouthowthebraindevelopsandfunctionsfrominfancythroughadolescence,buttressedwithpracticaladviceandimportantinformation.Inadditiontochecklists,toolkitsanddo’sanddon’ts,Walshincludessampledialogues,conversationstarters,anecdotes,casestudiesandstoriestohelpillustratewhatheisdiscussing.Hepaintsavividpictureofwhatgoesoninthebrain.Forexample,onpages35‐36,hegivesadetailedlistofthelanguageandhearingmilestonesforbirthto3months,3‐4months,6‐9months,12‐15months,18‐24months,3yearsofageand4yearsofage.Healsoaddressesaveryimportantissueinkidsbecomingdeafduetoloudmusicandloudsounds.Onpage43,hehasanexcellentlistof22differentthingswecandotoreadtokidsandhelpthemdeveloptheirlanguageskills.Pages64‐65listthingswecandotohelpdevelopandrefineachild’smemory,retentionandretrievalofinformation[thestagesincluderehearsal,organizationintocategories,retrieval,studytime,

review A Review of Smart Parenting, Smarter Kids: The One Brain Book You Need to Help Your Child Grow Brighter, Healthier, and Happier

Reviewed by Marcie Parker, Ph.D., CFLE, President and CEO of Parker and Associates, a healthcare research and consulting firm in Excelsior, Minnesota.

[by David Walsh, Ph.D.; Free Press, June 14, 2011; ISBN # 9781439121177; $25.00; hardcover; 304 pages; e-book 9781439137338]

MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 11

elaborationandstudytechniques].Hementionsonesetofparentswhobringanewobjecttothedinnertableeachnightanddiscussitwiththeirchildtoexpandherworldandhervocabulary.

Walshstartswithaverysimpleoverviewofwhatweknowabouthowthebrainworksandhowhormonesaffectourbehaviorsandactions.Forinstance,whenababyisborn,only17%ofhisorherbraincellsarewiredtogetherandthevastmajorityofthewiringoccursinthedaysandweeksandmonthsanddecadesfollowingbirth.Ourbraindevelopmentisaffectedbothbyourgeneticinheritanceandbyourlifeexperiences.Humanbrainsgothroughlongperiodsofblossomingandpruninguntilbraindevelopmentis,moreorless,completeinthemidtolate20’s.Walshpointsoutthatlessthan50%ofourintelligenceisinheritedandthatwetendtooverestimatetalent’scontributionandunderestimatetheroleofluck,hardworkandeffort.Hestressesthatweneedtopraisetheeffortachildmakesandnotlavishgeneral‐izedpraiseonthechild’sinnateabilityotherwiseshewillbeafraidtofailandnottrynewthings.Walshsaystopraisetheeffort,bespecificandnotgeneric,besincereinthepraiseanddonotoverdothepraise.

Inhischapteronnutritionandbraindevelopment,Walshtakesontheexcessivesalt,fatandsugarinthetypicalAmericandietandsuggestsbreakfasts,lunchesanddinnerstoprovidegrowingchildrenwithwhattheyneedtogrowuphealthfully.Heincludesvaluablestrategies[pp.83‐84]toencouragehealthyeating,especiallyforpickyeaters.Walshstressestheimportanceofregularrigorousphysicalexerciseforbrain

development.Sleep,untilrecentlyamuchmisunderstoodandunder‐appreciatedbutcriticallyimportantactivity,isvitaltothebraindevelopmentofchildren.Onaverage,Americanchildrenofallagegroupsarenotgettingenoughsleepandareoperatingonasleepdeficit;thebiggestsleepdeficitbeingforteens,whoneedatleast9‐10hoursofsleepanightandgetonly6‐7.Thissleepdeficitleadstolotsofhealthissuessuchasobesity,memoryproblemsandlanguagedevelopment.Childrenwhodonotgetenoughsleepcanbecrankyanddifficultandhaveproblemsinschool.Babies,astoundingly,need16‐18hoursofsleepaday!Ifyourchildhassleepapnea,nightmares,nightterrorsornarcolepsy,Walshaddressestheseaswell.TV,electronicmedia,overscheduling,stress,anxietyandcellphonesmayallbeculpritsincuttingintovaluablesleeptime.

Walshalsostressestheimportanceofplayaswellasfreeandunstructuredtimetoplayandcreate.Theneedforunstructuredfreetimeisalsobeingtoutedinthepopularpress[seeforexample“The Joys of Summer:  Go Ahead, kids:  Lie in the Grass. Study the Clouds. Daydream, Be lazy. You Have Our Permission”byMitchAlbominParadeAugust7,2011,page12].Freeplayisawaytoencouragecreativity,languagedevelopment,imaginationandexecutivefunction.Ialwaysthoughtthatitwouldbeneat,asaparent,tohaveabasementfullofmusicalinstruments[portableandotherwise],dressupclothes/hats/jewelry/cowboybootsandchaps,andlaterallkindsofenginesandmotorsandage‐appropriatetoolssothatkidscouldtakethings[suchaswatches,clocks,motors,engines]

apartandputthemtogetheragain.Irememberaverypoignantstoryaboutamotherofa5‐year‐oldboy.Shewasplanninghisbirthdaypartyandwasthinkingalongthelinesofhuge,expensiveandelaborate…..youknow,clowns,ponies,Ferriswheels,bands,thatkindofthing.Thenshedecidedtoaskhersonwhatkindofpartyhewanted.Heaskedforafewhugeapplianceboxesandblanketsinthelivingroomsotheboyscouldmakefortsandthen,whenherequestedit,hewantedhismomtoservecakeandicecream.Theboysplayedfortforseveralhours,hadcakeandicecreamandwenthome,vowingitwasthebestpartytheyhadeverattended.

Therearesectionsontheterribletwo’sandtheeightstepstolimitsandconsequencesaswellaswaystoavoidpowerstruggleswithyourchildren.Thereisanimportantandilluminatingchapteronthedifferences[andsimilarities]ofthebrainsofboysandgirls.Anotherchapterlooksatstressinchildren’slivesandhowkidsandparentscancopewithstress;animportantpartofthisishelpingparentshelpkidswhoarestrugglingthroughacrisis.Anotherimportantchapterdealswithparentinginanonlineworld,distractionandmultitasking,onlineactivitiesandobesity,cyberbullying,sexting,cellphonesanddistracteddriving,andinternetaddiction.Onechaptertakesreadersthroughtherequirementsofspecialneedsbrains,mentalillnessandchemicaluseinkids[includingAspergerSyndrome,childhooddepressionandsuicide,anxietydisorders,medications,tobacco,alcoholanddrugsandtheimportanceofparentingastheantidrug].Onecriticallyimportantchapterlooksatdaycare,preschoolandschooldecisionsandhow

MCFR Family Forum, Fall 2011, page 12

parentscanmakethebestpossibledecisionsfortheirchildren.Inadditiontochecklistsonhowtochooseinfantcareandtoddlerdaycare,Walshprovides[p.241]aninvaluablelistsothatparentscanknowiftheirchildiskindergartenready.

Inhisfinalchapter,“The21st‐CenturyParent”,Walshleavesandencouragesparentswithseveralwisephrases[pp.254‐255].Relax. It’s all about balance. Don’t make your kids your report cards.  The time we spend with our kids is a better investment than the money we spend on them. Slow down.  And finally: Remember, parenting is a delayed gratification activity!

Somesuggestionsforfutureeditionsorfuturebooks:use“suchas”insteadof“like”where

appropriate.Totheextentthatitexists,giveusmoreresearch[seepage114foronementionofthisdiverseresearch]illustratingcontrasts,suchastheyare,betweenrural‐suburban‐urbansettings,youngvs.olderparents,immigrantvs.Americanfamilies,minorityandethnicfamilies,familieswithdeaforblindparentsorchildren,andparentsofmultiples.

Theaudienceforthisbook,inadditiontoparents/prospectiveparentsandteens,wouldbestudents,graduatestudents,physiciansandthoseinthehelpingprofessions,anyoneworkingwithorinterestedinfamiliesandfamilylife,CertifiedFamilyLifeEducators,mentalhealthprofessionals,therapists,psychologistsandpsychiatrists,andpublicpolicymakers

whoarecraftingfamilypolicy.YouwillnotbeabletoputthebookdownonceyoustartitandIguaranteethatyouwillencounterchallengingandexpansiveideas…evencounter‐intuitiveideasthatwillinterestyoufrombeginningtoend.DavidWalshissimilartothewise,patient,gentlerelativewhohelpsnewparentsunderstandandsuccessfullynavigatethedifficultiesandfrustrationsofraisingkids.Weshouldallprofitfromhisyearsoffamilyparenting,familytherapy,experienceandresearch.WearefortunateindeedtohaveWalshlivinghereinMinnesotaandtheUSA,soavailableandaccessible.Heconsistentlyofferssuchwonderfulaffirmingfamily‐enhancingguidance.Ifyoureadonlyonefamilybookthisyear,letthisbeit.

Earlyinourprofessionaldevelopment,wecanbecomeawe‐struckbyfamousresearchersandteachersinourdiscipline.Shypeoplemaynotgettoknowothersaseasilyasthosewhoaremoreout‐going.Doweaskabouttheresearch?Dowechallengetheconclusions?Dowewanttolearnmoreandclarifypoints,orwouldweratherimpresstheotherbyshowingourgreatunderstandingofresearch?Balanceisdifficultaswelearntoaskquestionsandshareperspectives.Weallaretooforwardortooshyattimes.Welearntolimitourquestionsandgetoverourreticenceofasking. Thelearningcurveisusuallyfast–learnedbypersonalexperienceandbyobservingothers.Aswebecomemoreexperienced,webecomethemodelsforothers–forbetterorforworse.Withmoreresponsibilities,webecomeleadersinoursmallgroups.Herecomestheopportunitytocomefromthemodelslearnedincoursework,orfromtheexperiencesofthosewhowanttolearn. Aformerstudentwasconcernedthatshemightnotbeabletosharethemostcurrentresearch,orforgettheresearchmethodology.Shesawhergoalashavingtheprofessorlookingoverhershoulder.Whenshewasabletoseethatthelearnerwasbetterabletodefinehis/her

need,theinstructorcouldselectthepointstoemphasizeforthelearnertoabsorb.Thattransitionbeganalongprofessionforher,whereshecouldshareinformationandhelpfacilitatethelearningincolleagues.Iamstillproudtoreadofherendeavorsinthefamilyfield,andIevenletherknoweverysooften. Ihaveobservedhowsomeofmy“experienced”friendsareadaptingtodifferenttechnologicaladvancesandfindthatI’mbackinthatveryinexperiencedprofessionallearningfromothers.DoIreallywanttotweetothers?DoIwanthundredsoffriends?CanIlearnandadapttonewmethodsofsharingandreceivinginformation?Iknowhowmanyofmyagematesarespendingmoretimethanexpectedtolearnthesenewtechniques.Withgrammariansasparents,IMisveryuncomfortable.I’msuremymomwouldturnoverinhergravetofindthenewlanguageoftexting. SonowIamlearninghowtoaskthosequestions,withoutactingasthoughIknowmorethanIreallydo.Thismaymeanfindingaten‐yearoldwhowon’tlaughatmeorwon’ttelleveryonehow“dumb”Iam.ThankheavensIhavefriendsintheir90swhohavemodeledopennessandaskingforhelp.This lesson is a hard one – ask for help when you need it!

MCFR History - A Reflection by Sue MeyersSueMeyers,ProfessorEmeritus,SchoolofSocialWork,UniversityofMinnesota;MCFRhistorianandBoardmember