andrea warnick, rn, maecdss.ca/ecdss_2015/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/supporting-grieving... ·...

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Andrea Warnick, RN, MA

Registered Psychotherapist

www.andreawarnick.com

Recognizing grief in youth

Communication barriers

Support strategies

Conversation openers

Some signs that youth may need more help

Copyright © 2018 Andrea Warnick

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Grief:

Bereavement:

Mourning:

Disenfranchised Grief:


“GRIEF” is all the different thoughts and feelings that occur when experiencing a significant loss in life.


WHY??

Psychological

SocialSpiritual

PhysiologicalBehavioral

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A predictable set of stages




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Anger

Embarrassed about showing emotions

Shock/disbelief

Wondering about what makes life worth living

‘Nothing makes sense…’

Envious

Alone

Questioning spiritual/religious beliefs

Less safe


“No one ever told me that grief felt

so like fear. I am not afraid, but the

sensation is like being afraid. The

same fluttering in the

stomach, the same

restlessness…”C.S. Lewis


Physical symptoms

Anger – mad easier than sad

Sleep disturbance

Increased need to be with peers

Irritability

Dysregulation

Difficulty concentrating

Loss of confidence/fear

Increased need for affection

Changes in academic performance


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Intuitive Instrumental

(Doka and Martin)


Try to avoid: :

1. The Fix-It Trap➢ “Everything happens for a reason…”➢ “At least…”

2. Advising, Giving Solutions➢ “You just need to…”

3. Praising ➢ “You are so strong.”

4. Reassuring➢ “Time heals all…” ➢ “ I know how you feel…” ➢ “You aren’t given more than you can bear…”

(E. Causton, 1995)

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Grief is a natural response to loss - we can’t

avoid suffering in life

Alienation from the grieving process creates

challenges for grievers and supporters➢ Be aware of the tendency to avoid or bury intense

feelings

Grief doesn’t need to be fixed


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Show up!

Check-in frequently

Create opportunities for connection

Explore the need to connect with peers

➢ Provide opportunities to connect with other youth in a similar

situation.

Explore if they need to find a way to say goodbye

“Wonder” together



Model healthy grief. Don’t preach

it.

Be aware of the struggle for

independence during a time of

increased vulnerability.

Encourage self-compassion.

Help distinguish between feelings

vs. behaviors.

Cultivate ability to be with big

feelings.

Allow for expression of emotions.

Do not try to “fix” their pain – bear

witness to it.


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Acknowledge the Situation

➢ Ask for permission to talk about it with them.

➢ Explore what the youth knows/understands:“I’m wondering if you could tell me what you understand about the situation?”

➢ Explore if the youth has overheard anything he/she doesn’t understand?

➢ Encourage youth to ask questions or share concerns, reassuring that all are ‘okay’.

“I’m wondering if the world feels like a pretty [scary]

[confusing] place to you right now?”

“Can you tell me about _____? What was she like?”

“Do you want to talk about ….”

“What are some of your favourite memories of

____?”


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Self-harm

Poor relationships with peers

Self medication through use of alcohol/drugs

Anxiety/panic attacks

Progressive isolation and lack of interest in

previously enjoyed activities

Chronic physical symptoms without organic findings


Persistent denial of a death

On-going sleep/eating

disturbances

Prolonged changes in typical

behavior

Any signs of mental health

challenges

Suicidal thoughts, comments or

behaviors

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• Show up & open the conversation

• Listen

• Be honest

• Foster an environment where youth can

ask questions

• Know that it is okay to not have the

answerCopyright © 2018 Andrea Warnick


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A guided strengths-

based therapeutic

journal for teens and

'tweens’ dealing with

difficult issues including

trauma (11yrs +)

Available through “Art

with Heart”:

www.artwithheart.org


www.slapd.com


http://help2makesense.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/teenagers_pullout.pdf

Help 2 Make Sense (Winston’s Wish)

http://www.artwithheart.org/

http://www.slapd.com/

http://help2makesense.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/teenagers_pullout.pdf

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Stop-Breathe-Think:

www.stopbreathethink.org

Mind Shift:

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/mindshift/id6346848

25?mt=8

Anxiety BC:


http://grievingstudents.scholastic.com

Literary Resources for Teens

Grollman, E. (1993): Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers.

The Dougy Centre. (2004). Helping Teens Cope with

Death.

Stokes, J. A. (2000). The Secret C: Straight Talking about

Cancer. (Tweens)

Winston’s Wish (2007). Out of the Blue: Making Memories

Last when Someone has Died. Copyright © 2018 Andrea Warnick

http://app.stopbreathethink.org/

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/mindshift/id634684825?mt=8

http://grievingstudents.scholastic.com/

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Kids Help Phone:

www.kidshelpphone.ca

24/7 Counselling hotline

email: [email protected]

web: www.andreawarnick.com

Facebook: “Andrea Warnick Consulting”

Twitter: “@AndreaWarnick1”

Newsletter sign up on website

“grief is crazy-making, feels like

a psychosis, is implosive,

explosive, arbitrary, unjust, but

is as basic to the human

condition as love and joy” (Bertman, 1999)


http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/

andrea warnick, rn, maecdss.ca/ecdss_2015/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/supporting-grieving... ·...

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