yoga girl: finding happiness, cultivating balance and living with your heart wide open

www.yellowkitebooks.co.uk

FirstpublishedinGreatBritainin2015byYellowKiteAnimprintofHodder&Stoughton

AnHachetteUKcompany

Originallypublishedin2014inSwedenbyBonnierFakta

TherightofRachelBrathentobeidentifiedastheAuthoroftheWorkhasbeenassertedbyherinaccordancewiththeCopyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988.

Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedinaretrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inanyformorbyanymeanswithoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthepublisher,norbe

otherwisecirculatedinanyformofbindingorcoverotherthanthatinwhichitispublishedandwithoutasimilarconditionbeingimposedonthesubsequentpurchaser.

Thispublicationcontainstheopinionsandideasofitsauthor.Itisintendedtoprovidehelpfulandinformativematerialonthesubjectsaddressedinthepublication.Itissoldwiththeunderstandingthattheauthorandpublisherarenotengagedinrendingmedical,health,oranyotherkindofpersonalprofessionalservicesinthebook.Thereadershouldconsulthisorhermedicalhealthorothercompetentprofessionalbeforeadoptinganyofthesuggestionsinthisbookordrawinginferencesfromit.Theauthorandpublisherspecificallydisclaimallresponsibilityforanyliability,lossorrisk,personalorotherwise,whichisincurred

asaconsequence,directlyorindirectly,oftheuseandapplicationofanyofthecontentsofthisbook.

ISBN9781473619593

Hodder&StoughtonLtdCarmeliteHouse

50VictoriaEmbankmentLondonEC4Y0DZ

www.hodder.co.uk

Foreverysinglepersonwho’seversteppedonayogamat.Andforthoseouttherewhohaven’t...especiallyforyou.

Contents

TITLEPAGE

COPYRIGHT

DEDICATION

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER1

YogaEveryDamnDayCHAPTER2

Tolovewhatisahead,youmustlovewhathascomebeforeCHAPTER3

NotallthosewhowanderarelostCHAPTER4

ThebodyisaplaceforthesoultoresideinCHAPTER5

GoingwiththeflowCHAPTER6

LoveoverfearCHAPTER7

Momentsofsilence

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

PHOTOCREDITS

WIntroduction

elcome to life as a yoga girl! Or yoga boy, for thatmatter.Yogaisapracticeforanyoneandeveryone,andI’m here to share with you the big secret of findingsuccessandbalanceinyourlife,yogistyle.Thesecretis,thereisnone.Thereisnograndrecipe

foraperfectlife.Intoday’sfast-pacedsocietyweoftenfindourselveslookingforaquickfix,thenextbigthingtomakeusfeelbetter,whichiswhyweseenewhealthtrendsanddietstakingtheworldbystormeveryotherweek.Iamnotheretoannouncethenewestweight-losstechniqueortotellyouthatyoushouldbeeatingfewercarbsormorecarbsornocarbs(ah,that’sit!)orwhateverfadishittingtheInternetthismorning.Iamnotheretotellyoutochangeyourlifesothatyoucanbebetter.I’mheretotellyouyouaregoodenoughthewayyoualreadyare.Shocking, Iknow.Even thoughweareadecadeandahalf into the twenty-

firstcentury,sendingpeopletothemoononvacationandconnectingthroughthevirtualworldinmorewaysthaneverbefore,thereisstillafundamentalflawinhowwetreatoneanother,andmostofall,inhowwetreatourselves.Wedonotloveourselvesenough.Werunaroundtryingtofindwaystochangeourbodies,ourhealth,ourlovelives,ourwork—anythingtomakeusfeelwholeandhappy.Butthefasterwerun,thefasterwemissthepoint.Weallsearchforbalance,butfindingthisdoesnotlieinthelatesthealthtrend.Balancecomesfromslowingdown, from taking deep breaths, from understanding your body and what itneeds. It comes fromacceptingwhoyouareand lovingyourselfeverystepoftheway.Forme,yogawas thewaytoget there.Althoughyoga isapractice thathas

beenaroundformore thanfive thousandyears, it’swelladapted to theculture

weliveinandit’sgettingmorepopulareveryday.Theworldofyogaissofullofdifferentstyles,teachers,classes,onlinevideos,andgadgetsthesedaysthatitcanbehardtonavigate.Myaimwiththisbookis togiveyouanideaofwhatlife as a yogi can entail, and to help you get back to the root of the practice:creatingmoments of silence. Thesemoments arewhen the real breakthroughshappen,whenwecomebacktoourpriorities,ourfocus,andthe lovewehaveforourselvesandthepeoplearoundus.Yogainvolvesmuchmorethanphysicalposespracticedonayogamat.Infact,therearebeautifulwaystousewhatwelearnfromthispracticeandbringitoutintotheworld.Ihopetoinspireyoutobethebestyoucanbe,andtoacceptandembraceeverysingleaspectofwhatthatmeans.

CHAPTER1

YogaEveryDamnDay

firmlybelieve that real changeand truehappiness come fromacceptance.Acceptingourbodies,acceptingwhoweare,andacceptingthesituationwearein.Manyoftheinsecuritieswestrugglewithdailycomefromthinking

thatthingsshouldbedifferentfromreality.We live in a society that continuously harps on everything that we should

changeinourlives.Weneedtoimprove,dobetter,lookbetter,feelbetter.Weshouldloseweight,gainmuscle,eathealthier,getbetterjobs,buynicerclothes,get shinier hair, earn moremoney. Only rarely are we told that we are goodenoughjustthewayweare.There is a big difference between genuinely wanting to change something

about ourway of life and feeling thatwe need to change becausewe have toalterwhoweare inorder tobeacceptedandfit in.Wheredoyou liveon thatspectrum?Andwhatisityouarelookingtochange?Ifyouarelikemostpeople,there are probably many things you’d like to see different in your life. Myquestioniswhy.Throughoutyourlife,whohastoldyouthatyouarenotgoodenough?Wheredidyouget the idea?Mostof the time the judgmentswe feelcome from no one other than ourselves. No one judges you the way you do.Whenitcomestocreatingahappy,healthylife,weneedtostartfromtherightplace.Nomatterwhatyouwant tochangeinyour life—loseweight,de-stress,buildacareer—itneedstocomefromaplaceofgenuineintention.Wecanmakechangesinourlivesbasedonloveoronfear.Doyouwantto

lose tenpoundsbecauseyouknow itwouldbegood foryourheart andyou’dfeelsomuchbetter?Ordoyouwant to lose tenpoundssoyou’ll fit intoyourskinnyjeansandlookbetter inabikini?Maybetheanswerisallof theabove,

butthereisaveryrealdifferencebetweenthem.True,lasting,effortlesschangecomesfromtakingactionfromaplaceoflove.Fromtheheart.Doesyourheartgiveadamnaboutwhatyoulooklikeinabikini?Ihighlydoubtthat.However,itprobablydoescaresaboutyourabilitytomovefreely,tobestrong,andtofeelhealthy.Caringforourwell-beinghastostartfromwithin,andthisisalsooneofthe

mostimportantfoundationsoftheyogapractice.Weneedtodirectourattentioninwardandconnecttothebreath.Focusingonourbreathkeepsuspresent,calmsthe mind, and allows us to develop the awareness of the body we need topracticewithcareandcompassion.Ifwearenotfullypresent,wearenolongerpracticing yoga but are simply doing exercises and stretches on a yoga mat.Cultivating this awareness beginswith thebreath and iswhat eventually turnsourchatteringmindsintoquietplacesforcontemplationandacceptance.

Taketimeeitherrightbeforeorrightafteryourpracticetositinsilenceforafewmoments.Setyourintentionsfortheday,breathedeeply,andtakeaminutetoextendgratitudetoallofthebeautifulthingsyouhaveinyourlife.Bowyourheadtotheearth.Thisisasmallgestureofreverenceandgratitudethathelpsuslookwithinanddirectourattentiontowardthehappinesswehaveinlife.AftermypracticeIalwaysdrinkabiggreensmoothieoralargegreenjuicebeforeheadingouttoembracewhateverlifehasinstoreformethatday.

“Youdon’tneedtochangeanythingaboutwhoyouaretostartayogapractice.”

Thismightsoundcomplicated,butit’snot.Actually,it’ssosimpleourmindslike tomake itcomplex!Ourmindsdo this,by theway.Theego likes to takewhat’s simple and make it into a problem to solve so that it stays busy. AquestionIgetallthetimeis“HowcouldIeverbecomeayogi?Ican’tsitstill!”or“Ican’tdoyoga,Iliketoeatmeat!”If you believe practicing yoga means you need to get up at four every

morning,eatonlyriceandvegetables,andspendmostof thedaysittingin thelotuspositionwhilehumming“Om,”thinkagain.(However,ifyoupracticelongenough,youmayfindthatsittingforalongtimeinlotuspositioncanbequiterewarding.Butyou’ll also learn that theposespracticedarenot thebe-all andend-allofwhywedowhatwedo.)Asyogis,wesimplystriveforbalance—inbody,mind,andsoul.Notethewordstrive,meaningthatwecontinuouslyworkand aim for balance. Balance is not something that shows up one day and issuddenly here to stay; it’s the result of creatingmoments ofmindfulness andgratitudethroughoutourday.That’swhyit’scalledapractice—itneverends.Youdon’tneedtochangeanythingaboutwhoyouaretostartayogapractice.

Addingyoga toyour life doesnotmeanyouneed to change everything aboutyour daily life. You can be a yogi and still enjoywinewith dinner.You canpracticeyogaandworkacorporatejob.Youcandoyogaandforgettorecyclewhenyourdaygetstoobusy.Thedefinitionofarealyogiisnotsomeonewhogreetseverypersonwithasmileandabow,butsomeonewhogoeswiththeflowoflifeandtakeseachmomentasitcomes.Arealyogihasupsanddownsjustlike anyone else.A real yogi does his or her best to greet each personwith asmile, yes, but a real yogi also respects the roller coaster that is this life andallows emotions to arise when needed. Real yogis are simply those who livewell,doingtheirbestwithwhattheyhave.Onandofftheyogamat.Balanceiskeyineverythingyoudo.Sodanceallnightlongandpracticeyoga

thenextday.Drinkwine,butdon’tforgetyourgreenjuice.Eatchocolatewhenyourheartwantsitandkalesaladwhenyourbodyneedsit.Wearhighheelson

Saturday andwalk barefoot on Sunday. Go shopping at themall and then sitdown andmeditate in your bedroom.Live high and low.Move and stay still.Embrace all sides ofwhoyou are and liveyour authentic truth!Bebrave andbold and spontaneous and loud, and let that complement your ability to findsilenceandpatienceandmodestyandpeace.Aimforbalance.Makeyourownrulesanddon’tletotherstellyouhowtoliveaccordingtotheirs.

“Yogacreatesspacewhereweoncewerestuck.”

When you first begin, remember that we are all different, with differentbackgrounds,bodies, andcircumstances.Youmustbegin fromwhereyouare.Focus onwhat’s going on in your own body and stay asmindful as you canwhilepracticing.Bepatient.Thesecondyourmindstartstointerfere—Ishouldbedoingbetterthanthis;ThepersonnexttomeismuchmoreflexiblethanIam;I’mnotgoodenough(allverycommonthoughtsthatcomeupinthebeginning)—just keep bringing your focus back to the breath. Start where you are. Usewhatyouhave.Dowhatyoucan.Focusonthepracticeandtrynot tobecomehungupontheresult.With time, you’ll notice changeswithin thebody, themind, and thebreath.

Yoga makes us strong but flexible. Yoga creates space where we once werestuck.Yogacultivatesaquietmindandinspiresconcentration.Yogaallowsthebreath to grow deeper.Yoga is a spacewhere,with practice,we can becomemorepresentinourday.Andthedeeperwegoinourpractice,themorenaturalitwillbetotaketheyogaoffthematandintotherestofourlives.The mind has a tendency to seek out worst-case scenarios. When we are

immersed in thought, we often find ourselves stuck in repetitive thinking,judgment, labels, and negativity. The mind can be a great tool when usedcorrectly.It’swhenthemindtakesoverandwecannolongercontrolwhatgoeson inside our heads that anxiety or regret arises.Moving our bodieswith thebreathandcultivatingmomentsofdeeppresencearewaystoquietthemind,andthisisexactlywhatyogais.Movement.Breath.Unitingthebodywiththemindandcreatingaplaceofsilence.Whenyou liveonly in themind,youwill findyourself constantly reacting to what goes on around you, often with fear orworry.Weallhavehad somenegativeexperiences inourpast, largeor small,

andtoprotectusfromfurtherpain, theminddoeswhat itcan toprevent themfromhappeningagain.Sayyouwereoncehurtorleftbyalovedone.Thenexttime youmeet someone you could fall in love with, youmight find yourselfreacting to or treating this person in a way that you might not have before.Alwaysreactingtolifemeanslivingfromthepast.Yogagivesusthetoolstogreeteachmomentinlifewiththefresheyesofthe

presentmoment. Just because a past love hurt you doesn’tmean the next onewill.Andwalkingthroughlifewithourhandsheldoutinfrontofusfeelingforobstaclesmeanswewillmissoutonmuchofthebeautyoflife.Tolovemeanstotakerisks.Andthereisloveallaround!Ifyoumeetnewpeoplewithanopenmindinsteadofwithfear,youarelikelytohavequiteadifferentexperiencewiththem.FormethishasbeenoneofthegreatestlessonsI’velearnedfromyoga:acting

insteadofreacting.Yogahashelpedmecreatespacebetweenthesituationsthatcomeatme;Idon’thavetoreactrightawayanymore.Icansitback,takeitallin,andseethesituationforwhatitis.Thereismuchlessdramainmylifenowthantherehaseverbeen.Iusedtoconfrontpeopleinordertostartafightortocreate a big argument. Now I see confrontations as a way to come to anunderstandingandperhapsevencorrect themisperceptionswehaveaboutoneanother.Thereisnoneedtochangeyourhabitstomakespaceforayogapractice.Start

practicingyogafromwhereyouaretoday,andletthepracticechangeyou.Themoreoftenyoucometothemat,onyourownorinaclass,theeasieritwillbetomakehealthydecisions throughout therestofyourday.Whenyou’re listeningmore to your body, you’ll find that it’s not as difficult to eat well. Withawarenessofyourbodyyou’llfinditeasiertostayawayfromsugaroralcoholorwhateverit isthatyou’relookingtoremovefromyourdiet.Orperhapsyouwillrealizethatthefoodsyouareeatingarejustfine,nothingtoobsessoveratall!Thebottomlineis,youwillbemoreconsciousabouthowyourbodyfeelsandhowsensitiveitistowhatyouputinit.Maybethatsecondhelpingoffooddidn’tmakeyoufeelbetter,afterall.Whenwelivemoreinthebodyandlessinthe mind, those choices that were so overwhelming before become easier tomake.IknowthatwhenIreallylistentomybody,itveryrarelywantstwohugehelpingsoffood.IfIreachformore,it’sprobablybecauseI’mbusytalkingand

socializingorI’mfeelingemotional. If Istaymindful, I’llbeable to tellwhenI’mfull.Muchofwhatweeat inadayissimplyaresultofboredom!I’mnotpromisingyou’llstopwantingdessertorwineorall thegoodthings thatcomewith life (or everyFridaynight) justbecauseyou startpracticingyoga.You’llsimplybemore receptive towhat yourbodywants andneeds.And this is theveryfirststeptoahealthyyou.Asayogiyouwilllearnthatyoucanhaveyourcakeandeatit,too;thereisno

needtofeelguiltyaboutyourdietoryourbody.Lifeisaboutfindinghappiness.Balance.Love.Yogaisabeautifultooltohelpyoufindallthosethingsyou’vebeenlookingfor,andthetimetostartisrightnow.How youwake up in themorning sets the tone for the rest of your day. If

you’vedecidedtomakeyogaapartofyourdailylife,whynotstartrightaway?Think about the first thing you usually dowhen youwake up.Do you checkyoure-mail?Drinkcoffee?TurnontheTV?Tosetthetoneforapeacefulday,trytocreateamomentofpeacerightwhenyouwakeup.Iliketobeginmydaywithacupofhotwaterwith lemon. Itgetsyoursystemgoingand isgreat foryourdigestivesystem.It’salsogreatforyourmetabolismandhelpstoclearyourskin!I’lltakemylemonwatertomyyogamatandbeginfromthere.Whenyou’redeepinyouryogapracticeyou’llknowwhattodo;it’sallabout

beingwiththebreathandworkingonwhatyourbodyneedsatthatmoment.Ifyourhipsarefeelingtight,focusonthat.Soreshoulders?Makethatthecenterofyour morning practice. You might feel a bit cold and stiff when you’ve justrolledoutofbed,soagoodideaistoalwaysstartyourpracticewithasequencetobringsomeheatintothebody.Whenyouarewarm,yourbodywillrespondmorereadily.

GREENJUICE1cucumber 100gspinach 200gkale 2apples,cored 1orange,peeledandsectioned 1lemon,peeledandsectioned 1tablespoonchoppedfreshgingerroot

Addtheingredientstoamasticatingjuiceroneatatime.Beginwiththecucumberandusetheapplesafterthegreenleafyvegetablestomakesurenogreensareleftinthejuicer.

THEBIGGREENSMOOTHIE1banana 1peach 200gkale 150gfrozenstrawberries 250mlcoconutwater Superfoodsofchoice

Addallofyouringredientsintoahigh-speedblenderandblend.Addsomeiceattheveryendtokeepthesmoothiecoldanddelicious.Suggestedsuperfoodsarehempprotein,chiaseeds,andmacapowder(1teaspoonofeach).Choose

whicheveryoulike!

Acentrifugaljuicerworksgreatforjuicingfruits,butifyoucan,investinamasticatingjuicerinstead.Themasticatingjuicerdoesn’tmakeasmuchnoiseandit’smuchmoreeffectiveforjuicinggreenslikespinachandkale.Also,centrifugaljuicersheatyourproduceslightlyintheprocess,whichlowersthenutritional

valueofyourjuice.

WHENYOUFIRSTSTARTPRACTICINGYOGAREGULARLY,YOU’LLHAVESOMEIMPORTANTREALIZATIONS:

1.ThisismuchharderthanIthought.

2.ItalsofeelsmuchbetterthanIthought.

3.Mybodyandmymindsometimes—ormostofthetime—completelydisagreewitheachother,andthetwosidesofmybodyareverydifferent.

4.HowdidIlivemywholelifewithoutknowinghowtobreatheproperly?

5.Iwanttodomoreofthis.

ANDIFYOUPRACTICELONGENOUGHYOUMIGHTEVENREALIZE:

6.TheclothesIwearhavelittletonoeffectonhowwellIperformonmyyogamat.

7.Mybodyisconnectedtomyemotions.Myemotionsareconnectedtomythoughts.Mythoughtsareconnectedtomyabilitytostaypresent.Andmyabilitytostaypresentisconnectedtomybody.

8.Theposeswepracticearenotthedestination,butthepath.

9.ThemoreIadvanceinmypractice,themoreIrealizeIhavenotadvancedatall.

10.Iwantmoreofthis.

SunSalutations—ThePerfectMorningSequence

TheSunSalutation—inSanskrit,SuryaNamaskar—isagreatwaytocreateheatandservesasoneofthefoundationalsequencesofayogapractice.You’llfinditinmanystylesofyoga,mainlyinflowclassessuchasAshtangaandVinyasaFlow.Taketimetoproperlylearntheposes(evenifyou’reaseasonedpractitioner)toensurethatyouavoidinjuryandstayhealthyinyourpractice.Alwayskeeptheintegrityoftheposeandlearnproperalignmentrightaway.Payattentiontowhatthepose feels like inyourbody soyou’ll know if you’reoverdoingsomething; back off or soften the posewhenneeded.Depending onhowmuchyouarelookingtosweatandflowonyourmat,domoreorfewerSunSalutations! If I’mshorton time I’ll rolloutmymatandsimply do ten Sun Salutations. This sequence has everything: chestexpansion,forwardfolds,corework,upperbodystrengthening,heartopening,hamstringlengthening.Whendoneproperly,it’saverywell-roundedaspectofyourpractice.Andagreatwaytostarttheday!

“Beginwhereyouare.Usewhatyouhave.Dowhatyoucan.”

SURYANAMASKARA/SUNSALUTATIONA

1.Cometoastandingpositionwithyourtwobigtoesconnected,aslightspacebetweenyourheels.Connectyourhandstoyourheartcenter.Firmlygroundyourfeettothematandfeelthecrownofyourheaddrawingupwardtowardthesky.Exhaletobringyourarmsdownbyyourside.

2.Softentheupperbackandneckasyouinhaleandreachyourarmsuptowardthesky.Engageyourlegsandliftupthroughthearchesofthefeet.

3.Exhaleandfoldforward,lettingyourbodymeltdowntowardtheearth.Ifyourhandsdon’treachthefloor,bendyourkneesslightly.Relaxthebackofyourneckandshiftsomeweightintotheballsofyourfeet.

4.Inhaletolengthenthespine,comingintoaflatback,lookingslightlyforward.Activateyourthighstoliftoutofyourkneecaps.

5.Exhaletostepbackonefootatatime,makingyourwaytoplankpose.Withshouldersalignedrightaboveyourwrists,engageyourcoreandpressthefloorawayfromyoutoavoidsinkingintotheshoulders.

6.Inhaleandshiftyourweightslightlyforward,thenexhaletobendtheelbows,loweringintoChaturangaDandasana.Yourshouldersshouldalignwiththeelbowsandtheelbowsshouldlineupwiththewrists.Thinkaboutabsorbingthelowerribsandelongatingthetailbonetowardtheheels.

7.Inhaleandpresstheballsofthefeettowardthebackofthemat,rollingoverthetoesintoUpward-FacingDog.Broadenthroughthecollarbones,liftfromtheheart,andfeeltheshouldersslidingdowntheback.

8.Exhaletotuckyourtoesunder,engagingyourcoretomakeyourwaybacktoDownward-FacingDog.Rotatetheinnerthighsback,pressthethumbandtheindexfingersdown,andwrapthetricepsback.Softentheneckanddrawtheheelstowardthemat.Stayhereforfivedeep,slowbreaths.

9.Lookforward,bendyourknees,andbringyourhipsbacktoprepareforyourtransitionforward.Onanexhale,steporlightlyjumptothetopofthemat.Inhaletolengthenthespine,gazingslightlyforward.

10.Exhaleandfoldforward.

11.Inhaletorootdownthroughthefeet,risingallthewayup,stretchingyourfingerstowardthesky.

12.Exhale,bringingyourhandstoyourheartcenter.

LOVINGINSIGHTSInsilence,breakthroughscome.

Balanceistheaccumulatedmomentsofpresenceandgratitudethatyoucreatethroughoutyourday.

Learntoactinsteadofreacting.

Startwhereyouare.Usewhatyouhave.Dowhatyoucan.

STARTINGYOURDAYOFFRIGHTDon’tkeepyourphoneinthebedroom—getanold-schoolalarmclockifyou

needone.Thefirstthingyoudointhemorningshouldnotincludesocialmediaore-mails!

Drinkhotwaterwithlemonwhenyoufirstwakeuptocleanseyoursystem.

Practiceyogabeforebreakfast.Everythingyoudocounts!Decidetodofifteenminutesofgentlestretching,somedynamicSunSalutations,orjustasimplemeditation.Theimportantthingistogiveyourselftimeonthemateveryday.Ifyouhaveanhourtospare,treatyourselftoafullhouronthemat!

Decidewhattimeyouractiveworkdaybegins.Keepawayfrompointlessscrollingduringthefirsthoursoftheday.Readabook.Makeabeautifulbreakfast.Spendtimewithyourfamily.Ifyouallowyourmorningstobesacred,itwillsetthetonefortherestofyourday.

CHAPTER2

Tolovewhatisahead,youmustlovewhathascomebefore

t’s been a long journey to get to where I am today. I wasn’t a naturallybalancedpersongrowingup,andIwasluckytofindyogaattheyoungageofseventeen.ItookmyfirstyogaclassinThailand,whileIwasonvacation

withmyfamily.TheclasswasledbyasmallThaiman,andIrememberbeingstruckbyhowcalmandpeacefulhewas.Wewereonbamboomatsintheshadeandheledusthroughdifferentposeswhileinstructingustoinhaleandexhale.I’dneverexperiencedanythinglikeit,andeventhoughtheclassdidn’tchangemylifeormyviewoftheworld,Ileftfeelinginvigoratedandhappy.Iwasnotahappyteenager,andIwasstillabouttwoyearsawayfromtakingmyfirststepstowardmakingyogaasubstantialpartofmylife.When Iwas little,my familymoved a lot.Myparents split upwhen Iwas

onlytwoyearsold,andasoftenhappenswithcoupleswhoseparate,therewasalotofdrama.DuringthisperiodmybrotherandImovedbackandforthbetweenmy parents. Eventuallymymommet and fell in lovewith amanwhowas afighterpilotfortheSwedisharmy,andforayearortwoweledveryquietlives.My brother and I went to day care, we lived in just one place, and mygrandmotherwaswithusalot.Wewouldallgoskiingeverychancewegotandspentlotsoftimeinthemountains.Oneofmyclearestmemoriesiswatchingmystepdadhackoutalittlecaveinthesnow,usinghisskitodigusacozyplaceoutofthesideoftheslopewherewesatanddrankhotchocolate.Also,sittingonhisshoulderssingingalongtothelivebandatthelodgeafterskiing.Thesongwas“What’sUp?”by4NonBlondes;andeverytimeIhearthatsongIthinkofhim

and our lives at that time. These were some of the happiest days of mychildhood.Ofcourse,goodthingssometimescometoanend.Justadayaftermymom

and stepdad signed the contract for our new house, his plane crashed into theoceanandourliveschangeddrastically.Iwasonlyfiveyearsold.Hisdeathwasadefiningmomentinmylife.Mymotherlosttheloveofher

life, my little brother and I lost our stepdad, and again our lives were turnedupside down, but on a levelwe had never experienced before. The years thatfollowedwereextremelydarkanddifficult, andeven thoughmymomdidherbesttotakecareofus,Ihadtogrowupfast.IhardlyhaveanymemoriesatallfromwhenIwas fiveuntil Iwasabout tenyearsold. I’d remember fragmentshereandthere,butsomeweresovagueIdidn’tknowiftheywerefromadreamIoncehadoriftheywerereal.Iremembermygrandmotherrushingmybrotherandmeoutof thechurchduring the funeral, coveringourears sowecouldn’thearmymother’sscreams.Iremembersad,sadfaceseverywherewewent.Lotsof candy and presents from relatives and people I didn’t know. People,everywhere,allthetime.WehadtoleaveourapartmentinthesouthofSweden.Timepassed,andthenallofasuddenwewerealone.Thethreeofus:me,mylittle brother, my mom. The situation was too painful for us to discuss; westoppedtalkingaboutmystepdad,andmymotherwastoofragiletoanswermyquestions.

“Wheredidhego?”I’daskoverandoveragain.Mymotheralwaysturnedherfaceaway.Onedaysomeoneelseansweredme:“Hewenttoheaven.”“Why?”Isaid. I didn’t knowwhere heavenwas andwhy hewould choose to go therewithoutus.“Well,helovedyouandyourbrotherso,somuch,andwhenhewasflying hewas rushing home to see you. But he flew too fast and crashed hisplane,sonowheisinheavenandyouhavetobestrongforyourmother.”Idon’tknowwhotoldmethis,ifitwasarelativeorafriendofthefamily,but

this scarred me so deeply it would take me more than a decade to evenunderstand. I was just five years old, lost and alone, looking for someone tocomfortme.AndIfindoutmystepdadleftustogotoheaven—becauseImadehimhurry?Icouldn’twrapmyfive-year-oldbrainaroundthis,andIdecideditwasallmyfault.Ifithadn’tbeenforme,hewouldstillbehere,andmymomwouldn’tbesadall the time.This iswhenmymemorystarts togetvery,veryfuzzy. I remember walking into mymother’s bedroom to wake her up everymorning, always finding her facedownwith a pillow covering the backof herhead.Iaskedherwhyshedidthat,andshetoldmeithelpedherfallasleep.Forthe longest timeIsleptwithapillowcoveringmyface, thinkingitwouldhelpmefallasleepeasier,too.NowIknowshewasn’tsleeping,butbawlingintothemattress at night so we wouldn’t hear her scream. I remember holding mybrother’s hand while we walked to school, making sure he didn’t trip on thesidewalk.Iremembermysixthbirthdayparty.Anambulance.Morescreaming.Suddenly living with my dad in a house we didn’t really know. I remembergoingtoseemymominthehospital,lotsofcryingandherhuggingmesohardIcouldn’tbreathe.Ididn’tfindthesuicideletterssheleftusuntilmuchlater.Itwasn’tuntilIgotonthespiritualpathinmylateteensandstartedinquiring

about this time that some memories came back to me. I’ve learned thatsometimestheminddoeswhatithastodotokeepusalive.Massivetraumaissimplytoomuchforourheartstohandle,sothemindshutsdowntoprotectus.Timepassesandweforget.Butthedifficultiesweexperienceshapeus,andourspiritual journeybegins thedaywedecide tocometo termswithourpast.Forme,myparents’divorce,mystepdad’sdeath,andmymother’ssuicideattemptwerethemostsignificantthingsthateverhappenedinmylife.Ididn’tknowitthen,ofcourse,butatimewouldcomewhenIwouldbeabletolookbackandfeelgratefulformychildhood.

“Ourspiritualjourneybeginsthedaywedecidetocometotermswithourpast.”

Formyfamily,thepainsubsidedafterafewyearsandweeventuallymovedon,butittookaverylongtimeformymomtorecoverandbecomewholeagain.Shewastwenty-fiveyearsoldwhentheaccidenthappened,aroundmyagerightnow,andIcannotevenforasecondimaginewhatlifewouldbelikeifIlostmyhusband.Idon’tknowifI’dsurvive,andIprayIwillnever,everhavetofindout.Mymotherovercamea lossgreater thanIcouldpossiblyeverunderstand,andwithtime,shehealedandfoundloveagain.Shewastheonewhonudgedmein the right direction, the onewhonever stopped fighting for us all, and eventhoughweallwentthroughsomeextremelydifficult times,Iknowshedidtheabsolute best she couldwithwhat she had. I admiremymother formaking itthrough that timeand forblossoming into the strong,confident,happywomansheis today.Inowhavefoursisters inadditiontomybrother,andIknowthethings we went through growing up helped shape us into the people we are.WhenallofthishappenedIwasstillachild,andmyjourneyhadjustbegun.We had lived inmore than ten different places by the time Iwas twelve. I

livedmostlywithmymother but spentweekends and vacationswithmydad,who lived in Latvia and Spain. My parents both had new lives; they bothremarriedandhadtwomorekidseach—inthesameyear.WhenmydadmarriedInga,whowouldbecomemystepmother,Ispokeinfrontoftwohundredpeople.Thefirstlineofmyspeechwas“Theyear2000wastheyearmyparentsfinallygotmarried.Except not to each other.”The crowd laughed, and so did I.Mymomanddadwereongoodterms,Ihadstabilityinmylife,andwehadmadeitthroughthedark.Everythingwasokay.When I became a teenager,my life changed again. This time it wasn’tmy

parentssplittingup,butmymomandhernewhusband,aswellasmydadandhisnewwife.Iwasolderthistimearoundandhadsmallsisterstocarefor,andwhendivorce struckour family again, it angeredme.What iswrongwithmyparents?Ithought.Therewerelittlekidstocarefor!Itookituponmyselftoberesponsible for theirwell-being.Ofcourse I failed. Icouldn’tbeamomanda

dadandabigsisterallatonce—andnoonehadevenaskedmeto!Ifeltitwasmyjobtoensurethateveryonewashappyandtomakesuremymomwasokay.When thepressureof it all became toomuch, I started turningaway frommyfamilyandtowardotherthings.SinceIcouldn’tmanagethechaosIfeltwithinandthechaosathome,IstartedcreatingmoreofitwhereverIwent.

BREATHING

Whenpracticingyogaandmeditationyouwanttofocusyourawarenessinwardanddeeplyconnecttothebreath.Thebreathisthecoreofyouryogapracticeandabeautifulwaytostayconnectedtothebody.Ifyoufindyourselflosingtheconnectiontothebreathorhavingadifficulttimebreathing,itmightmeanyou’vegonetoodeeplyintoaposeandyourbodyistellingyoutobackoffslightlyorjustslowdownalittlebit.Keepthebreathflowinginandoutofthenoseandtrytofindabalancebetweenthetwosidesofthe

breath,withtheinhalesandexhalesequalinlength.Directyourinhalesdowntowardthebottomofthelungs,feelingthelowerbellyexpand.Noticehowthelowbellycontractsagainasyouexhale,emptyingthelungs.Keepasteadypaceofbreath,lettingthesoundofyourbreathinghelpyoumaintainfocusasyoupractice.

“SinceIcouldn’tmanagethechaosIfeltwithinandthechaosathome,IstartedcreatingmoreofitwhereverI

went.”

IthinkIwasthirteenwhenallofasuddenIbecamereally“cool.”SocoolIrefusedtogetbraceseventhoughIneededthembadly(sobadlythatIendedupgetting them when I was sixteen instead, which was much worse!). I startedshopliftinganddrinkingontheweekendsandalsopickeduptheterriblehabitofsmoking.Ithoughtsmokingwasawesome.Itgavemeacrowd,areputation,andafeelingofscrewyouall—IcandowhateverIwant . Iwantedcontrolofmyownlifeandsmokingwasawayformetodothat.Igotaddictedfast,physicallyand socially, and I smoked about a pack a day until I turned seventeen. Ofcourse,smokingandthesevereasthmaI’dsufferedfromsinceIwaslittledidn’treallygohandinhand—notevenalittle.InthebeginningIwasokay,butitsoonbecamenormalformetosneakoutside, takeapuff frommyinhaler,and thenlight a cigarette. To this day, I can hardly believe it. I became an expert liar,tellingmyparentselaborate storiesabout sitting incaféswithmyfriends (youwereallowedtosmokeindoorsatthetime,soIsaidthat’swhyIalwaysreekedofsmoke),aboutfriendswhosmoked(IwouldNEVER!),Ihadlitincenseanditjust has a similar scent, someone lit candles, therewas a fire—you name it. Inever, ever admitted Iwasa smoker.Of course they figured it out eventually,buttherewasnothingtheycoulddo.Iwasamess.Mymomwouldgroundmeformonthsatatime;I’djumpoutthewindow.They’dtakemyallowanceaway;I’d shoplift. They threatened to sendme to boarding school; I ran away fromhome, slept at the train station in downtown Stockholm for two nights, anddidn’treturnuntiltheybeggedmetocomeback.Iremembermydadlecturingmewith tears inhis eyes (“Don’tyouunderstandyoucandie?”),but itdidn’teven faze me. I thought smoking was a part of my identity, and I wasn’tpreparedtoletthatgo.Itstartedwithcigarettesbutwenton toalcohol (a lot)andalsodrugs. Ihad

olderboyfriendsandIstartedhangingoutwithbadpeopledoingbadthings.Itwasn’t good, andworst of allwas the lying. I lied about everything. I lied so

much I couldn’t even rememberwhatwas true anymore. I lied aboutwhere Iwas, who I was with, what I was doing. I remembermymom tellingme: “Iwouldratherhaveyoudodrugsandtellmewhereyouarethanhaveyoudrinkabeerandlieaboutwhereyouare.AtleastthenIwouldknowwheretogotosaveyouwhenthingsgoreallywrong.”Andshemeantit.ShehadabsolutelynoideawhereIwasmostofthetimeorhowshecouldhelpme.

LOVINGINSIGHTS

Makepeacewithyourpast.Cometotermswiththedifficultiesyou’vebeenthrough.It’stheonlywaytocreateapeacefullife.

Forgivenessisthekeytohappiness.

Themostimportantthingisnotwhathappenstoyouinlifebuthowyouchoosetoreacttowhat’shappening.Lifeisnotasseriousasyourmindmakesitouttobe.Learntocreatedistancebetweenyourperceptionoftheworldandwhat’sactuallygoingoninthepresentmoment,insteadofsimplyreactingblindlytothosethingsthatcomeyourway.Staypresentandliveinthemoment.

Itdoesn’tmatterwhereyoucomefromorwhatyou’veexperiencedinyourpast.Yourhappinessisinyourhands!Wearenotvictimsofourcircumstances.Wehavethepowertochangehowwearefeeling.

Lifehappensforyou—nottoyou.

Thinkaboutwhatyouarecarryingwithyoufromyourpast.Whatpatternsandbehaviorshaveyoupickedupthatmaybedon’tmatchthepersonyouactuallyaredeepdown?

Tellyourself:Iwillnotcreateanymoredramainmylife.Makeyourselfthepromisetoliveagoodlife!

Whomdoyouneedtoforgive?Rememberthatyouaretheonlyonesufferingbyclingingtothepast.Forgiveeveryoneforeverythingforyourownsake.

Domoreofthethingsthatmakeyousmile.Focusonbeinghappy!

Iwasonly thirteen the first time I had to bedriven to the emergency roomwithalcoholpoisoning.Ihadtakentheredlinesubwaybackandforth(theendof the red line in Stockholmwas not the best neighborhood for a passed-outthirteen-year-old girl at the time), had thrown up all over myself, had beenrobbed, and finally was found by a friend who called my mom. I rememberhangingmyheadoverthetoilet,thinkingIwasgoingtodie.IwasalsothirteenwhenIgotmyfirsttattoo,simplyasaresponsetomydadsaying“overmydeadbody”afterI’djokinglytoldhimIwantedtogetone.Ididn’tevenwantatattoo,I just wanted to do the exact opposite of what everybody expected of me. IstartedspendingtimeinbadpartsofStockholm.Thinkingofitnow—Iwassoyoung!Iwasjustachild.ButIwasdeterminedtobedestructive,andtherewasnothingmyparentscoulddotostopme.AtfourteenIgothighonsomethingbad,thinkingitwasweed,andendedup

walking from Hornstull to northern Lidingö (if you’re from Stockholm, youknow how far this is). Itwasn’t until Iwoke up the next daywithmy sheetsstainedwith blood that I realized I’d beenwalking barefoot. InOctober. Thiswas also the age I waswhen I toldmymom I hated her for the first time. Istarted stealing alcohol frommyparents. I quickly figured out how to replacevodka with water in the bottles no one ever touched, and when I got caughtdoingthatandmyparentscompletelystoppedkeepingalcoholinthehouse,IgotafakeID.At fifteen I went to Spain with a few girlfriends. We partied for a week

straight,andonenightsomeoneslippedsomethinginmydrinkatabarinPuertoBanús.Thedoormanputme intoa taxiandcalled thesecurityatourhouse tomakesuresomeonewouldletmein,asI’dlostmypurseandmykeys.ThiswasthefirstofthreetimesinmyyoungteensthatIgotdrugged(probablywiththeintentionofrape).Iwasalwaysincrediblyluckythatnothingworsehappenedtome than excessive vomiting and hangovers that lasted for weeks. I finallylearned to never accept drinks fromanyone (not even frombartenders) and toalwaysorderbottleddrinks,coveringthespoutwithmythumb.

CORPSEPOSE/SAVASANA

FinisheveryyogaclasswithSavasana,CorpsePose,andallowthebodytorelax.It’sinSavasana,abeautifulplaceofsilenceandpresence,thatwegettosoakupalltheyumminessofourhardworkonthemat.

Lieonyourbackwithyourarmsdownbyyoursides,palmsfacingup.Ifyourlowerbackissensitive,youcanplaceabolsterorapillowbeneathyourkneesforsupport.Iliketoburnsomepalosanto,holywood,rightbeforeSavasanatoraisethevibrationintheroomandinspiretotalrelaxation(plusitsmellsamazing!).Closeyoureyes,letyourbodysoften,andfeeltheweightofyourbodymeltingintothefloor.Releaseanycontrolyoumighthavehadoveryourbreaththroughoutthepracticeandcomebacktothenaturalpaceofyourinhalesandexhales.Followthebreatheverystepoftheway,andembracethesoftnessofthebreaththatariseswhenyouleteverythingbe.Staypresent.Foreveryhourofyogayou’vepracticed,stayinSavasanafortenminutesormore.Whenyou’reready,rollovertoyourrightside.Yourheartisonyourleft,sowhenyou“comebacktolife”fromCorpsePose,yourisewiththeheartfirst,alwayslettingyourheartleadtheway.Inyogaclassyouwilloftenhearyourteachersay“Namaste”attheendofpractice—say“Namaste”back!Thewordmeans“Thelightwithinmehonorsthelightwithinyou,”asacredwaytoshowreverenceandrespect.

“Ithoughtlifewasaboutlivingasfastaspossible,andlookinggoodwhiledoingit.”

Atsixteen,Igotpulledoverfordrunkdrivingandhadtospendthenight injail.Igotout,pickedupsomebeer,andwentrightbacktotheparty.ThisisalsohowoldIwaswhenmyboyfriendhitmeforthefirsttime.IstartedspendingalotoftimeatabarindowntownStockholm,andafterwegottoknowthestaff,theystoppedaskingusforIDs,assumingwewereeighteen(the legaldrinkingageinSweden).Oneeveningmyoldestfriendintheworldwaswalkinghomefromapartyandfoundmepassedoutinthesnownexttotheroad.Hebroughtme home, cooked me food, drew me a bath, and made me promise to stopdrinking,orwecouldn’tstayfriendsanymore.Wehadafightanddidn’tspeaktoeachotherforayear.Ididn’tstopdrinking.BythispointIhadalreadybeendrinkingandgoingtoclubsforyearsandwasknownasthego-togirlatschoolifyou wanted to party. I was angry and insecure, doing all I could to drawattentiontomyself.Atseventeen,Iwasoutpartyingandgotinacarwithadrunkdriver.Driving

ninety miles per hour he rammed into another car and we skidded off thehighway, flipped over several times, and finally smashed into a tree, landingupsidedown. Igotawaywitha fewbrokenribsand internalbleeding. Idrankevery single day. Every day. I finally stopped lying to my mom, but onlybecauseI thinkwebothstoppedcaring.AteighteenIgaveup.Athighschoolgraduation inSweden, it’s traditional todressup inwhite andcelebrate in theparkoutsidetheschooltogetherwithfriendsandteachers.Everybodywasthereinthegrass,signingoneanother’sgraduationhats,huggingandsinging.IsatinmyfriendJack’soldVolvoparkedinthebackoftheparkinglot,drinkingvodkastraightfromthebottleandwishingforitalltobeover.Atonepointinthemiddleofallthis,mygrandmotherdied.Mygrandmother

had been the only constant in my life, the sensible, calm, caring person whoalwaysknewtherightthingtosay.WhenshepassedawayIhitanewlowandmy family finally had had enough. I’d spent years lying, fighting, stealing

money,andcreatingmorechaosthantheyhadeverseenbefore.EvenIstartedtogettheuneasyfeelingthatmaybethingswouldn’teverbeokayagain.Mymomcouldhavethrownmeoutofthehouse.Shecouldhaveletmeclean

upmyownmess.Shecouldhavegivenuponmecompletely.But shedidn’t.Shesentmeoff toa therapeuticmeditationretreat. Idon’tknowhowonearthshe convincedme to go, but one day I foundmyself on a train going up to asmall town in northernSweden to spend aweek at ameditation center. Iwasterrified.No,scratchthat.Iwasbeyondterrified.OutofallthethingsIhaddone—andat eighteen Ihadalreadydone it all—thiswasmoreoutofmycomfortzonethananythingIcouldpossiblyimagine.Meditate?Me?Ihadtakenthatoneyogaclass inThailandwhilewewere thereonvacation,but thatwas it. Ihadnevermeditated.All I knewwas cigarettes andbeer and fightingwithpeople.Jealous, hot-tempered, and impatient, I had turned into an incredibly difficultperson. I thought life was about living as fast as possible, and looking goodwhile doing it. A lot of my time was spent fixing my makeup, buying newclothes,andcomingupwithnewwaystosneakintothehottestclubsdowntown.Meditatinghadneverevencrossedmymind.SowhenIgotoffthetrainandintothecabthatwasgoingtotakemetothemeditationcenter,Ibrokedown,startedcrying,andtold thecabdriver to turnaround.Thecabbie lookedmein theeyeandsaid,“Ithinkyoushouldgiveitatry.I’veseenmanypeoplethroughouttheyears get off the train looking just as nervous as you, but they all come backsmiling, looking very calm.Here, takemy number. If it’s really bad and youwanttoleaveafteroneday,callmeandI’lldriveyoutothetrain.”

“IrealizedthatIhadtakenontraitsthatwerenotatallwhoIreallywasatmycore.”

Itookhisnumber,andhedroppedmeoffatthecenter.Thiswasthestartofawholenewlifeforme.Forthefirsttime,Ilearnedhowtoquietmymind.Twiceadaywehadgroup

meditationsandtherapeuticsessions,andinbetweentherewasabsolutesilence.Nophones,nocomputers,notalking.Justsilence.Ihadneverbeensilentinmyentire lifebefore. In thesessionsIwasgiven tools todealwithmypast,andI

startedworkingthroughtheissuescausingmyangerandresentment.IrealizedIhadn’tmournedthedeathofmystepfather—eventhoughIwasonlyfiveyearsold,I’dbeensobusytakingcareofmymomandmylittlebrotherthatIneverallowedmyselftobesad.Noonetalkedaboutitinthefamilyanditwaslikeachapterofmylifewastornoutofthebigbookofourfamily.IhadalotofgriefinsideofmethatI’dnevergottenthechancetorelease.Andanger.Oh,boy,wasIangry.IwasangryatmymotherforbeingsofragilewhenIwaslittle.Iwasangryatmyfatherforbeingdistant.Iwasangryatmyself!Myentireviewoftheworldchangedinjustoneweek,andIleftthecentera

differentversionofmyself.IrealizedthatIhadtakenontraitsthatwerenotatallwhoIreallywasatmycore.Iwasn’tanangryperson.Situationsandeventsthatcamemywayhadmademeintoanangryperson.WhenIlearnedhowtoletgoofthoseevents,Icouldletgoofmyangerandstopfeelingmadallthetime!Igot a glimpse into what life could be like if I wasn’t so preoccupied withsmokinganddrinkingmyselftodeath.Istartedlookingatthebigpicture,andallofa sudden, I realized that Iwanted tobehappy. I’dneverhada longing likethatbeforeinmylife.I’dbeentoobusyjustsurviving,butnowthatIhadtoolsto deal with all the feelings I had locked up inside, I wantedmore. I wantedhappiness.Balance.Peace.Lookingbackatitnow,Ididn’thaveaterribletimegrowingupatall;Ihad

twoparentsthatdidtheirabsolutebestwithwhattheyhad.MostofthenegativesituationsI foundmyself in, Icreatedonmyown.Icamehomeandhadabigtalkwithmyparents.Iquitsmoking.Istoppeddrinking.Istartedgoingoutside,beinginnature,andIstartedspendingtimewithdifferentpeople.Iwentbacktothemeditation center onemore time, this time for ten full days, for a deepercourseonhowtoresolvechildhoodissues.Thisonewas,ifpossible,evenmoreprofoundforme,andIfoundmyselfchangingmoreandmore.Itwasn’tsomuchthatIwasbecomingadifferentperson—quitetheopposite.Iwaschippingawayat themarble to find themasterpiecehiddenbeneath all the experiences I hadaccumulatedthroughoutmylife.Iwasbecomingmyself.Itmightsoundcrazy,butitreallywasasifaveilhadbeenlifted.Therewasa

wisdomdeepinsidemethatI’dneverknownbefore,andlifedidn’tfeelallthatdifficult anymore. I started meditating daily and began devouring spiritualbooks.BecauseIhadchangedsomuch,manyofmyfriendschangedalongwith

me. Insteadofbeing“that crazypartygirl,” I became“that crazyhippiegirl,”and my friends started to come to me for advice. I was feeling much, muchhappier thanIeverhadbefore,but Ididn’thaveacommunity.NooneIknewwas interested in meditation or spirituality. I realized that in order to delvedeeperintothisnewwayofliving,Ihadtogoonajourneytofindlike-mindedpeople.IknewIhadbarelyscratchedthesurface,andIwantedmore.SoIbookedatickettoCostaRica.

RAWAVOCADOSOUP2avocados ½broccolicrown 50gspinach 1smallyellowonion 1clovegarlic,minced Saltandpeppertotaste ½redbellpepper,chopped(forgarnish)

Placealloftheingredientsexceptthebellpepperinablender.Goeasywiththeonionandthegarlic—startwithhalfofeachandthenslowlyaddslightlymoretotaste.Whenblended,theonioncanbecomeslightlyoverpowering,soalittlebitwillgoalongway.Addjustenoughhotwatertogettheblendergoingandstartblending.Addmorehotwaterlittlebylittleuntilyouhavetheperfectconsistencyforyoursoup.Tasteandaddmoreonionandgarlicifneeded.Addmoresaltandpepper,ifnecessary,andservewithpiecesofchoppedbellpepperforgarnish.

SUPERFOODSALAD2tablespoonsoliveoil 145gchoppedshiitakemushrooms 1bunchasparagusspears,halved 450gfreshsugarsnappeas 1clovegarlic,minced Saltandpeppertotaste 50gbabyspinach 70gshreddedredcabbage 100gshreddedkale 155gshelledandcookededamame 60gchoppedradishes 1avocado,peeledandcubed 35galfalfasprouts 100gblueberries 30gpumpkinseedsPomegranateseeds(forgarnish) Chiaseeds(forgarnish)

Inalargefryingpan,heattheoliveoil.Pan-frytheshiitakemushrooms,theasparagus,andthesugarsnappeastogetherwiththegarlicandsaltandpepper.Putasideandletcool.Mixtheremainingvegetablesinabigbowl.Addtheblueberriesandpumpkinseeds.Mixeverythingtogetherwiththepan-friedvegetables,addthedressing,andgarnishwithpomegranateseedsandchiaseeds.Enjoy!

CARROTDRESSING2bigcarrots,chopped. 2.5cmfreshgingerroot,peeledandchopped 2clovesgarlic,minced 2teaspoonsapplecidervinegar 2tablespoonshoney Juiceof1lemon 60mloliveoil

Boilthecarrotsinasmallsaucepanuntilsoft.Drainbutkeepthewater.Mixthecarrotswiththeginger,garlic,vinegar,honey,lemonjuice,andoliveoil.Addwaterfromthecarrotsuntilthedressingistheproperconsistency.Dressingwilllast3to4daysintherefrigerator.

Twists,Hips,andHamstrings

Certain areas of our bodies tend to become very stiff after a longnight’s sleep or a day at the office, or simply from the repetitivemovement of day-to-day living. I love working with twists, hipopeners, and poses that stretch the back of the legs. I usuallymovethroughthesestretchesinthemorningaftermySunSalutationsorintheeveningbeforeIgotobed.Whenyou’veopenedupandsoftenedthebodywiththeseexercises,you’llfeelsomuchmorerelaxed!Twists are very cleansing; you are wringing out the spine in the

samewayyouwringoutawettowel.Alwaysmoveintotwistsgently,distributingthetwistingactionevenlythroughoutthespine, listeningtothebody.Startsoftlyanddeepenwhenit’sappropriate.Agoodruleofthumbistoonlytwisttothepointwhereyoucanmaintainadeepandfullbreath.Ifyourbreathingfeelsrestricted,backoffslightlyandreturntothebreath.Whenitcomestothehipopeners,letyourbodyguideyouandgo

onlyasdeepasyou feelcomfortable.Youneverwantpainorsharpsensation, and you want to make sure your knees are comfortablethroughout.Weusuallyholdalotoftensionandtightnessinthehips,so if this is apart of thebody thatyouknowyouneed toworkon,spendsomeextratimewiththeseposes!Thehamstringsneedtherightkindofstretch—youwanttofeelthe

sensationinthebellyofthemuscle,neverinthemuscleattachments.Keepyourfeetactiveanduseayogastrapifyouneedto.

1.SUPTAPADANGUSTHASANA/RECLININGBIGTOEPOSE

Beginwiththerightleg.Lyingonyourback,extendtherightlegstraightuptowardthesky.Holdontothebackofthethigh,thecalf,theankle,orthebigtoe,dependingonwhatyou’recomfortablewith.Yourheadshouldstayrelaxedonthemat.Softentheshoulders,flextherightfoot,andkeepthetoesactive.Keepgroundingtheleftlegtotheearth.Youwanttofeelastretchatthebackoftherightleg,butneverpain!Keepitatalevelthatisperfectforwhereyouare.Stayfor10to15slow,deepbreaths.

BEGINNERVARIATIONAyogastrapwillhelpgiveyourarmsextralengthifyourhamstringsareverytight.Placethestraparoundtheballofthefoot,keeptheelbowslightlybent,andletthestrapdomostoftheworkhere.

2.SUPTAPADANGUSTHASANA,VARIATIONPlaceyourlefthandonthelefthipforawarenessandstability.Inhaletoprepareandexhaletoopenupyourrightlegtowardtherightside.Engagetherightthigh,andkeepgroundingthelefthiptotheearth.Keepthehipslevelandneutral;ifyourlefthipbonestartstoliftoffthemat,you’vegonetoofar!Stayfor10to15slow,deepbreaths.

BEGINNERVARIATIONHoldontobothendsofthestrapwiththerighthandandopenuptherightlegtotheright,usingthestrapforsupport.Bendtheelbowtodeepenthestretchfortheinnerthigh.

3.SUPTAMATSYENDRASANA/SUPINESPINALTWIST

Engagetherightlegtoliftituptowardthesky.Bendtherightkneeintowardthechestanddrawitovertowardtheleftsideofthebody,comingintoatwist.Rollovertotheouterlefthipandmakesuretherightshoulderstaysgroundedtothemat.Extendtherightarmperpendiculartothebody,keepingthepalmofthe

shoulderstaysgroundedtothemat.Extendtherightarmperpendiculartothebody,keepingthepalmofthehandfacingupward.Gazetowardtherightthumbifyourneckallows.Stayfor10breaths.

4.SUCIRANDHRASANA/THEEYEOFTHENEEDLE

Engageyourcoretountwist,bringingyourgazeupfirstandthenbringingthekneebackintothechest.Placethesoleoftheleftfootonthegroundandplacetherightankleabovetheleftkneeonthethigh.Flextherightfootandpressthebigtoeawayfromthebody.Interlacethefingersatthebackoftheleftthigh,drawingtheleftlegintowardthechesttodeepentheopeningintherighthip.Lengthenthetailbonetowardthematandstayfor10breaths.Dothefullsequence(poses1–4)ontheoppositesideofthebody.

ADVANCEDVARIATIONIfyourhipsarefairlyopenyoucaninterlaceyourfingersontopoftheleftshinboneinsteadofatthebackofthethigh.Gentlyguidetherightelbowintotherightkneetodeepenthestretch,butmakesureyourkneesarecomfortableatalltimes.

TIGHTHIPSIfyourhipsaretightandit’shardtoreachthebackofthethigh,useayogastrap.

ARDHAMATSYENDRASANA/SEATEDTWIST

Comeintoaseatedpositionwithbothlegsextendedstraightinfrontofyou.Bendtherightknee,placingthesoleofthefootonthematbytheinnerleftthigh.Crosstherightlegovertheleft,nowpressingthesoleoftherightfootintothematoutsidetheleftleg.Bendtheleftkneesothattheleftheelendsupclosetotheouterhip.Starttwistingtowardtheright,bringingtherighthandbehindyou,fingertipspressingintothemat.Grounddownthroughbothsitbonesandlengthenthecrownoftheheadtowardthesky.Placetheleftelbowtotheoutsideoftherightknee,gentlydeepeningthetwist.Gazeovertherightshoulder.Stayfor5deepbreaths,untwistslowly,andrepeatontheotherside.

AGNISTAMBHASANA/DOUBLEPIGEONPOSE

1.Cometoacomfortableseatedposition.Placetheleftshinbonesothatit’sparalleltotheedgeofyourmat,andthenplacetherightankleontopoftheleftkneeandtherightkneeontopoftheleftankle.Youwanttheshinstostackontopofeachother.Dependingonyourhipsthismayormaynotbecomfortable.Ifthetopkneeendsupveryhighabovetheankle,foldupablanketandplaceunderthekneeforsupportorcomeintothesoftervariationofSukhasana(seebelow).Themoretheshinboneslineupwiththetopofthemat,thedeeperthestretchforthehips.Flexbothyourfeetandpresstheinnerborderofthefeetawayfromthebody.

TIGHTHIPSCometoSukhasana(EasyPose),acomfortableseatwiththerightleginfrontoftheleft.

2.Inhaletolengthenthespine;exhaletofoldforwardwhilewalkingthefingertipsforwardandawayfromthebody.Relaxyourneck,andifyouhavethespace,findaplacetorestyourforehead—onablockortwo,ontopofyourhands,oronthemat.Stayfor10breathsandthenrepeatwiththeleftlegontopoftheright.

TIGHTHIPSInhaletolengthen,exhale,andslowlyfoldforwardtoacomfortablelevel.Stayfor10breathsandthenrepeat,withtheleftleginfront.

CHAPTER3

Notallthosewhowanderarelost

didn’tmakeaconsciousdecisiontoleaveSwedenandnotreturn,butwhenIboughtatickettoCostaRicafortheveryfirsttime,nineteenandanxiousto see the world, my mom said to me with tears in her eyes, “I have a

feeling you’re never coming back.” Shewas not exactly right, but shewasn’twrongeither.IknewIwantedtogosomewherefar,farawayandIknewIwantedtowork

onmySpanish,butIdidn’tknowexactlywhereIwantedtogo.Idecidedtotakeabigtripwithtwoofmyfriends.AtfirstweweregoingtoColombiabutthenchanged our itinerary to Costa Rica at the very last second. Themoment welanded,IfeltI’darrivedsomeplacespecial,andeventhoughwehadplannedtoseemanydifferentpartsofCentralAmerica,weendedupnever leavingCostaRica.AftertendaysoftravelwemadeitdowntoDominical,asmallvillagethataccording to the guidebookwas supposed to be “a laid-back surf townwith aSnoopDoggvibe.” I fell in love right away—firstwith theplace, thenwith aguy (of course). For the first time inmy life I started to feel as if I belongedsomewhere. This was my place to be. Slowly, one day at a time, I startedchanging.ItookthemeditationtechniquesIhadlearnedatthemeditationcenterinSwedenandstartedapplying themtomylife. Iwouldwakeupreallyearly,beforesunrise,andtakealongwalkonthebeach.I’dfindabeautifulspottositdownandthenwoulddomybesttomeditate.Inthebeginningitwashard;I’dhavetokeepremindingmyself tofocusonthebreath.Afterawhile itbecamereallyeasy,likebreathing.Iwouldsitdownandclosemyeyes,andmeditationwouldjustcome.Ididn’thavetoworkforit.AfterafewweeksIwasmeditatingmorningsandeveningsforatleastthirtyminuteseachtime,sometimeslonger.I

rememberafriendofminesayingtome:“IsawyoumeditatingonthebeachandIneededtoaskyousomething,butIdidn’twanttodisturbyou.Afterawhilethespotyouweresittinginfilledupwithpeopleandchildren,butyoudidn’tseemtonotice.Anhourlater,whenthesunset,itgotreallydarkandthemosquitoescameout,butyouwerestillsittingthere.”I was in such a good space that meditation seemed entirely natural. I look

backatthosedaysofmylifeandcan’thelpbutsmile.Lifewassosimple.Ihadno steady job and didn’t have anymoney. I waitressed some days, bartendedsomedays, and sometimesworkedat adive shop inbetween,butmostofmytime was spent on the beach, on my yoga mat, and in the surf. After a fewmonthsIwentbacktoSweden,packedupallofmybelongings,andreturnedtoCosta Rica on a one-way ticket, this time with a yoga mat strapped to mybackpack.

Ihadbeen introduced to thepracticeofyogaduring thatoneclass I took inThailand a fewyears earlier, but since I’d learnedhow tomeditate, therewassomething pulling me strongly toward this five-thousand-year-old way of lifethatIcouldn’tquiteunderstand.ItookmyfirstyogaclassinCostaRicawithateacherI’dmetwhilehikingintherainforestandIabsolutelylovedit.ThistypeofyogawasverydifferentfromtheclassI’dtakeninThailand(ormaybeIwasthe one who had changed and become different?). The presence I felt in themomentwhile slowlymovingmy body from pose to pose and the peace thatfilledmeinSavasanaat theendofclassweredifferentfromanythingI’deverexperiencedbefore.Istartedgoingafewtimesaweektoasmallyogastudiointown. I practiced with several different teachers and tried different styles ofyoga, but didn’t get attached to aparticular branchof yogaor a specificyogateacher. I just lovedmovingmybody togetherwithmybreath!Forme itwasmeditation inmovement. I startedpracticingevery evening in the tiny shack Iwas renting on the beach. I’d roll out themat on the kitchen floor, not reallyknowingiftheposesIwasdoingwerecorrectbutsimplydoingwhatfeltright.Icouldfeelmybodysoftening,andIspentmany,manyyogasessionscryinginhip-andheartopeners.Ihadsomuchtensionstuckinmybodyafteryearsofnottreating it right!Throughyoga, I startedunraveling thepast,and littleby littleworkedallthewaytothecenterofmyownheart—aplaceIhadn’tbeenintouchwithinmanyyears.Itdidn’ttakelongbeforeIcompletelyfellinlovewithyogaasalifestyleandstartedlookingforwardtoeverymomentspentonthemat.Ididn’tneedmuchandwashappier thanever.Somemornings I’dwakeup

andhavetodecidewhowasgoingtohavebreakfast—meorQuila,ahomelesspuppyI’dadopted(shealwayswon). Itwasokay. Iendedupstaying inCostaRicafortwoandahalfyears,anditwasduringtheseyearsthatItrulylearnedwhathappinessmeans. I had spentmywhole life thinking Ineeded to fillmydays with things to improve my “image.” I had to look good, wear lots ofmakeup,buyniceclothes,befriendswiththerightpeople,haveaskinnybody,andsoforth.AsIpeeledoffthelayersofwhoIhadbecomeandstartedfindingoutwhoItrulywas,IrealizedIdidn’tneedanyofthosethings.Ididn’tneedasingleobjectorsituationtobehappy.Happinesscamefromme,frommyviewoftheworld,notfromexternalfactorsbeyondmycontrol.Istoppedworryingsomuchaboutwhateverybodywouldthinkofme,andIstartedfocusingmoreon

whatIwasfeelinginside.IknewthatifIkeptmeditating,ifIkeptenjoyinglife,lifewould takeme to theplaces Ineeded tobe. Ibelieved in thisvery simplephilosophy somuch that nothing seemed to botherme. If I trusted that thingswouldworkoutinmyfavor,theyalwaysdid.

“Donoharm,buttakenoshit.”

For instance, after a year and a half of living in Costa Rica I startedwaitressing at a restaurant owned by a very unpleasant woman. I was nowsingle,livingonmyowninasmallshackonthebeach,workingwithnogoalinsightotherthancontinuingtobevery,veryhappy.Theowneroftherestaurantdidn’t likeme from the secondwemet.Shewouldmakemean remarks, forcemetoworkextrahourswithnopay,andwouldn’tletthechefsmakemeveganfoodtoeat(soIwouldworktwelve-hourshiftswithlittleornofood).Ididn’tmind. I knew her problems had absolutely nothing to do with me, but weremerely a reflection of her own issues. So I continued working, making goodfriendswith the rest of the staff, and enjoying the connections I formedwithpeopletravelingthroughtown.ThehappierIwas,theangriershewouldget,andafterIhadworkedatherrestaurantformonths,shekickedmeoutonedayforshowing up in a dark blue skirt instead of a black one (this was a low-keyrestaurantinasurfertown,andmyonlyblackskirtwasinthewash).Sheyelledand cursed at me in front of the staff and told me to leave, as I was“embarrassing”therestaurantwithmyclothing.Alittleoverthetop,ifyouaskme!But Ididn’tgetupset. In thatmoment I realized that there is adifferencebetweengoingwiththeflowoflifeandseeingthegoodineverythingthatcomesyourwayandlettingpeoplewalkalloveryou.OneofthemantrasthatIlivebythesedaysis:Donoharm—buttakenoshit!Thenextmorning I sat downon the beach at sunrise,meditated for a good

hour, and decided that I’d had enough. I didn’twant towork for thatwomananymore.Iwasreadyforsomethingnew,somethingdifferent.Maybesomethingthatpaidmeenoughtocovermyelectricitybill(Ihadbeenlivingwithcandleslit at night for quite some time).Butwhat could I do to changemy situation,really? It was the off-season. Few people came through town during thosemonthsoftheyearbecauseitrainedeveryafternoon.Ihadnoticketoutofthecountry, no money, nothing of significant material value. But not once did Idoubt that I would receive an opportunity to create something different—Itrustedinlife’sabilitytocareforme.Always!SoIlookedupattheskyfrommy

meditation spot and said out loud: “Universe. I’m ready for something new.Bringit!”ThateveningIwenttoworkattherestaurantasusual.Theownercamebymy

housetoapologize(oractuallytotellmetheywereunderstaffedandneededmetowork,butItookitasanapology).Ihadnootherwayofmakingmoneyatthatmoment,soIheadedover.Halfwaythroughmyshiftabiggroupofpeoplecamein toeat,eightor tenof them,andwe immediatelyhit itoff. Iwaitedon theirtableandatonepointoverheardthemtalkingaboutsustainabledevelopmentandsomekindofreforestationproject.Thiswasasubjectthatinterestedmegreatly,so I joined the conversation, and at the end of themeal they askedme to sitdownwiththem.Ididn’tcaretoomuchaboutkeepingupappearancesinfrontofthe owner anymore, and since the restaurant was nearly empty, I sat down.Someonepouredmeaglassofwine, andwegot to talking. It turnedout theywereallfromacompanythatownedalotoflandinthemountainssurroundingtheareawewerein,andtheywereintheprocessofbuildingaluxuryeco-resort,hoping to raisemoney to help the impoverished parts of the country. This allsounded extremely exciting to me—wealthy people on a mission, looking toimprove theworld.We spent a good hour talking, and after a littlewhile theCEOaskedme,“So,whataboutyou?Areyouhappyhere?”Ithoughtaboutitandimmediatelyanswered,“No.Iusedtobehappyhere,butIdecidedjustthismorningI’mreadyforsomethingnew.”Hereplied,“Whydon’tyoucomeworkforus?Thismightsoundabsolutely

crazyandoutoftheblue,butsofarwehaveonlyhiredpeoplethatresonatewithourhearts.Wehaven’tseenasinglerésumé—weonlywanttoworkwithpeoplewhohavegoodenergyandwhoareonthesamepath.Wouldyouliketocomeonboard?We could really use someone to do assistant work for us, keep theteamhealthy,andhandletravelandlogistics.”“Areyoukidding?”Iasked.“No!”hesaid.Well...okay,then!

“Weareallinchargeofourownhappiness.Lifedoesnothappentous,ithappensforus!”

Iwalkedintotherestaurantoffice,tookmyapronoff,andverydramaticallythrewitonthefloor(I’dseenpeopledothis inmoviesanditwassomethingIalwayswantedtodo)infrontof theowner.“Iquit!”Isaid.AndIwalkedout.Two days later I was on a plane to Orange County, planning ameetingwithexecutives to discuss million-dollar investments. I’m not kidding. This allhappened,exactlythewayI’mtellingyou.Theygavemeabigsalary(highestI’deverhadbefore),Igottokeeptheteamhealthy,planmeals,anddogeneralpersonalassistantwork.ItwasalsoaroundthistimethatIstartedteachingyoga;I didn’t have any formal yoga education, but I used my intuition and theknowledgeI’dgatheredfrommyownpracticetoteachgentleclassestotheteaminthemornings.Itwaswonderful!Takingmyfirststepstowardteachingyogasparkedsomethingwithinmethat

Icouldn’tputmyfingeron,butitfeltvery,veryimportant.ItwasyearsbeforeIwouldmakeyogamycareer,andIdidn’tknowatthetimehowimportantthesefirstclasseswouldbe.I’dflybackandforthbetweenCostaRicaandCaliforniaandOregonwith thecompany,andallofasuddenmy lifewasverydifferent.AllIhadtodowasaskforit!IremembersittinginaPorschedrivingdownthePacificCoastHighwayclose

toSanDiegoduringthefirsttripItookwiththem,enjoyingthebreezeandthesunshine, and I realized:Oneweek ago I couldn’t paymy electricity bill anddidn’thaveenoughmoneytobuyproperdogfood.NowI’mhere.Thisishoweasyit is.IfIwanttochangemylife,Ichangemylife.IfIwantabundance,Icancreateit.Iamincharge.These experiences changed my life and evolved into my very own life

philosophy:Weareallinchargeofourownhappiness.Lifedoesnothappentous, ithappensforus!Bymakingourselvesvictimsof thesituationsaroundus,westartattractingexperiencesinwhichwe’llalwaysbevictimized.Bybelievinginthegoodoftheuniverseandtrustinginlife’sabilitytotakeuswhereweneedto go,we can create any type of living thatwewant. I had never cared at allabout money or material things or any other type of “success” other thanhappiness. But I never knew how easily those things could be attracted, too!Happinessdoesnotcomefromtheoutside.Allowinghappinesstoblossomfromwithin attracts positive experiences. Trying to force things to happen, judging

how other people live their lives, or beating ourselves up about the past willnevermakeushappy.

LOVINGINSIGHTSMeditate,meditate,andkeeponmeditatinguntilyou’velearnedtoletgoof

allthethingsyoufeartolose.

Takethestep.Don’tbeafraid.Followyourintuition,whereverittakesyou.

Youwillalwaysbeokay!Moneyandmaterialthingscometoyouwhenyoudaretotrustinlife’sabilitytotakeyouexactlywhereyouneedtogo.Whenweliveinfearwecreatetensevibrationsthatkeepthethingswelongforatadistance.Worryingisprayingforwhatwedon’twanttohappen.Focusonwhatyouwant,notwhatyoufear!

Donoharm—buttakenoshit!

Asktheuniverseforwhatyouwant.Ifyoudon’tknowwhatyouwantinlife,howareyouevergoingtocreatethelifeofyourdreams?Writedowneverythingyouwanttocreate.Bedetailed.Takealltheactivestepsyouneedtotake.Askforwhatyouwantandkeepyourintentionslovingandclear.

Exploretheworldandsoakupthewisdomthatliesineverylessonyoulearnalongtheway.Lifeismeanttobeanadventure!

“Opportunitiesareallaroundus—wejusthavetobelieveinthemtoseethem.”

Opportunitiesareallaroundus—wejusthavetobelieveinthemtoseethem.Ayearorsolater,IwasstartingtofeeldonewithCostaRica.I’dbeenthere

for almost three years, I’d learned a lot and made friends so close they hadturnedintofamily,butIfeltdeepinsidethattherewasmorelefttoexploreintheworld.Iwaslivingwithmybestfriendinasmallhousewithourdogs,Iwasstillmeditatingdaily,andIspentalotoftimeinacommuneinthemountainsaboveour town. Here I learned about permaculture farming, and my yoga practicebecamestrongerthaniteverhadbeenbefore.Imetashamanwhotoldmemylife’spurpose;I traveledsouthforanayahuascaceremonythat turnedintooneofthemostintensespiritualexperiencesIhadeverhad.Imeditatedincaves,ateonly raw food, and swam in waterfalls. Life was a whirlwind and it wasbeautiful.Butafter threeyears in thecountry Ihad the same feeling I’dhadayearearlier: Iwas ready for thenextbigexperience. I left thecompany Iwasworkingfor,ongoodterms,andusedthemoneyIhadmadetotravel.After a little time on my own in California and eventually in Portland,

Oregon, Iwent to Sweden to spendChristmaswithmy family. I still hadmyhouseandmy things (andmydogofcourse!) inCostaRica,andmy intentionwastogobackthererightafterChristmastofigureoutwhatIwantedtodoforthenextyear.InSwedenmydadsaidtome:“IwanttotakeyourlittlesisteronavacationinMarch.Whydon’tyoucomewithus?”“Idon’tknow,”Isaid.IhadalreadybeeninSwedenforafullmonthandwas

itchingtogetbacktoDominical.“Iwouldlovetospendsometimewithyou.Howaboutweallgosomeplace

closetoCostaRicasoyourflightbackwon’tbesoexpensive?”“Sure!”Isaid.“Thatcouldwork.Sowheredoyouwanttogo?”“ThereisanewdirectflightfromStockholmtoAruba.Howdoesthatsound?

Come have two weeks of vacation with us, and then go to Costa Rica fromthere.”“Aruba?”Isaid.“Whereisthat?”

GUACAMOLE½yellowonion 4clovesgarlic 2bigripeavocados Juiceofhalfalemon Salt Pepper

Putfinelychoppedgarlicandonioninamedium-sizedbowl.Addtheavocadosandsqueezeinlemonjuicetotaste.Mashtogether(Ilovetouseapotatomasher!)andseasonwithsaltandpepper.Eatrightaway(guacamoleismeanttobeeatenonthespot,standingoverthekitchencounter).

Imakethisguacamoleeveryweek.IlikeitwithalotofgarlicandIdon’tusetomatoesasintraditionalrecipesbecauseIlikeitthickandchunky.Ifyou’reeatingyourguacwithcrisps,rememberthecrispscanalreadybequitesalty,sodon’tgotoocrazywiththesalt!Ifyousettheavocadostoneintheguacamoleit

willlastalittlebitlonger.

HEAVENLYHUMMUS125mltahini(sesamepaste) Juiceofonebiglemon 1(400g)canchickpeas 2tablespoonsoliveoil1clovegarlic Seasalt Cayennepepper

Pourtahiniandlemonjuiceinafoodprocessororahigh-speedblenderandmixuntilsmooth.Addchickpeas,oliveoil,andgarlicandblendwell.Youmighthavetostoptheblenderafewtimestostir,makingsureitdoesn’tstick.Addseasaltandadashofcayennepepper.Ifyoulikeyourhummusevensmoother,addafewtablespoonsofwater.

Ilovehummusbecauseitcanbeservedwithalmostanything!Ilovetoeatmyhummuswithvegetablesasadip,butit’salsogreatwithasaladoronasandwich.Agoodfoodprocessorwillmakethisrecipeeasier,butablenderwillworkwell,too.Ifyouwanttotakeyourhummustothenextlevel,removethepeelfrom

eachchickpea...anditwillbecomeevensmoother!

Core,Balance,andShoulderWork

Goodcorestrengthisimportantforthepracticeofyoga,aswellasforourwell-beingasawhole.Yourabdominalssupportyourlowerback,thespine,andtheinternalorgans.Ifyousufferfromlowerbackpain,chancesareyouneedtostrengthenthecoretohelpsupportthelumbarareaofthespine.Ourcoreisalsowhereoursenseofconfidencelies,thebaseforhowwewalkthroughlife.The exercises in this chapter can be done as part of a full yoga

sessionorseparatelyontheirown.Thinkaboutengagingthebellyandpullingthelowerribsintowardthespinetoconnecttothetransverseabdominals.Theneck and shoulders arewherewe tend to hold a lot of stress

and tension, and if you spend lots of time sitting in front of thecomputer,theseexerciseswillbegreatforyou.Youcanevendothemat your desk at the office! Sit on the edge of a chair, keeping yourspinelongandayogastraporabeltclosebytouseifyouneedit.Ilovethatthethingswedoinouryogapracticetrulyhelpuscreate

betterpostureevenoff theyogamat.“Draw theshouldersdown theback”or“Lengthenthespine,”commonyogacues,workjustaswellwhenyou’restuckintrafficorstandinginlineatthegrocerystore.We need balance in all parts of our lives, and the yogamat is a

great place to start cultivating that! Plant your feet firmly on thegroundsothatyoucangrowtallwithoutlosingyourbalanceinlife.

LEGLIFTS

1.Liedown.Extendbothlegsstraightuptowardtheskysothattheankleslineupwiththehips.Presstheballsofthefeetuptowardtheskyandspreadyourtoes(wecallthis“flointing”thefeet!);thiswillhelpengagetheinnerthighsandactivatethelegs.Connectthetwobigtoestogetherandkeepyourarmsdownbyyoursides.Inhalehere.

2.Exhaleandlowerthelegsuntilthey’rehoveringrightabovetheground.Keepthetwobigtoestogethertheentiretimeandmakesurethatthebackoftheheadandtheshouldersarestillrestingonthemat.Engageyourcore!

3.Inhaleandliftthelegsbackup.Repeatasmanytimesasyoucanwhilestillkeepingthebreathsteady(try20!),alwaysmovingwiththeflowoftheinhalesandexhales.

NAVASANAANDARDHANAVASANA/BOATPOSEANDHALFBOATPOSE

1.Comeintoaseatedpositionwiththesolesofthefeettouchingthefloor.Walkthetoesintowardthesitbonesasmuchasyoucan,andthenliftbothlegs,extendingthemupandhuggingtothemidlinewhileengagingtheinnerthighs.Shiftyourweighttowardthefrontofthesitbones,awayfromthetailbone,andkeepthespinelongwhileliftingfromtheheart.Makesureyou’renotroundingthelowerback!

2.LowerthebodyfromNavasanatoArdhaNavasana.Keeptheloweredgeoftheshoulderbladesliftedoffthefloorandletthelegshoverabovethemat.Keepthearmsreachingforwardandactivatethecorebypullingthelowerribsintowardthecenterlineofthebody.ExhaleandmakeyourwaybacktoNavasana.InhaleandlowertoArdhaNavasana.ExhaleandcomebacktoNavasana.Repeattogetherwiththebreath5to10timesorasmanytimesasyoucanwithoutliftingfromorroundingthelowerback.

NAVASANA,VARIATION

1.Ifyouarejustbeginningtolearnthisposeandarestillworkingonbuildingcorestrength,youcanchoosetokeeptheheelsonthemat,stayinginthispositionforafewbreathswhilelengtheningthespine.Eventhoughyou’renotmoving,youwanttofeelyourcoreworkingforyou!

2.IfyouhavetighthamstringsorifyoufinditdifficulttomoveintoNavasanawithstraightlegs,dothisvariationwiththeshinsparalleltothemat.Inhaletolower,exhaletocomebackupwithyourkneesbent.

COREEXERCISE:EAGLEVARIATION

1.Liedown.Crosstherightlegovertheleft,hookingtherightfootaroundtheleftankle.Extendyourarmsouttothesides,perpendiculartothebody,andthencrosstheleftelbowovertherightinfrontofyou.Youcaneitherpressthebacksofthehandstogetherhere,orbringthepalmsallthewaytogether.Keepthetoespressingintothemat,inhale,andreachyourarmsoveryourheaduntilyourfingertipscantouchthemataboveyou.

2.Exhaleandliftthelegsandarmsoffthematsothatyourkneesandelbowsconnect,pullingthenavelintothespine,feelingtheabdominalsengage.Inhaletolower,touchingthefingertipsandthetoestothemat.Exhaletoconnectelbowsandknees.Repeat10timesandthenswitchsideswithbotharmsandlegstodotheotherside.

SEATEDNECKSTRETCH

1.Comeintoacomfortableseatedposition.Ifyouhaveasensitivelowerback,placeafoldedblanketbeneathyoursitbones.Situptallandextendyourarmsouttothesides,keepingyourfingertipsconnectedtothefloor.Walkthefingersasfarawayfromthehipsasyoucanwithoutlettingthemliftofftheground.Dropyourheaddownandgazetowardyourfeet,keepingyourchintoyourchest.

2.Gentlytiltyourheadtowardtherightsothattherighteardrawstowardtherightshoulder.Moveyourheadslowly,keepingaslighttuckofthechin.Breathedeeply.

3.Bringyourchintoyourchestagainandthengentlymoveyourheadtotheleft.Usethebreathtodrawsomespaceintothepartsofyourneckthatfeeltight.Moveyourheadlefttoright,righttoleft,withouttiltingyourheadback.

4.Comebacktocenter.Interlaceyourfingersbehindyourbackandextendthearmsbehindyou,pressingthepalmsofthehandstogether.Moveyourhandsasfartotherightsideofthetorsoasyoucan,squeezingtherightelbowinward.Relaxyourshouldersandthensoftlydropyourheadtotheright.Takeafew

therightelbowinward.Relaxyourshouldersandthensoftlydropyourheadtotheright.Takeafewmomentshere,breathingintothesensationoftheneck.

5.Dothesamethingontheotherside.Inhaletoextendthearmsstraightbackbehindyou,interlacingthefingerswiththeoppositethumbontop.Thenmovetheknucklesasfarovertotheleftasyoucanandgentlytiltyourheadtotheleft.Takeafewdeepbreathshereandthencomebacktocenter.

Dresscomfortablywhenyoupracticeyoga.Iusuallywearleggingsoryogapantswithatightertanktopandalooseoff-the-shouldershirtontop.ThatwayIcanremovealayerwhenIstartsweatingandnothingwilldroopovermyheadinDownward-FacingDog.AttheendofaclassIusuallyfeelalittlechilly,andthenIhavealayertoputontopagain.Themostimportantpartisthatyoufeelcomfortableandthatyoucanmovefreely.Rememberthatbig

seamsorzippersaretoobulkyforpositionsinwhichyouarelyingdown,sotrytofindapairofleggingsthataren’ttooembellished.Ifyousweatawholelotorpracticehotyoga(yogainaheatedroom),sweat-wickingperformancematerialsaregreat(high-functioningyogapantscanevenmakearmbalanceseasierwhenwe’resweating!).Ifyou’repracticingagentlerstyleofyogainwhichyou’renotsweatingthatmuch,naturalmaterialslikecottonandbamboofeelamazing.Doyoupracticeyogaathome?Giveitatryinyourbirthdaysuit!Practicingnakedisextremelyliberating.Loveyourbody.Thinkaboutallthatitdoesforyoueveryday.

SEATEDSHOULDERSTRETCH

1.Inaseatedpositionwithlegscrossed,interlaceyourfingersbehindyou.Extendthearmsstraightbackbehindyouwhilekeepingthespinelong.

2.Liftthearmsashighoffthefloorasyoucanwhilekeepingtheshouldersdrawndownawayfromtheears.

3.Engageyourcoreandfoldforward.Ifyoucan,restyourforeheadonthematandkeeppressingtheknucklestowardthebackofyourhead.Stayfor5breathsandthencomebackup.Switchlegssotheoppositelegistothefrontandtheninterlacethefingerswiththeoppositethumbontopandfoldforwardagain.

TIGHTHIPSIfyourhipsandshouldersaretight,youcanuseastrapandablocktohelpyou.

GARUDASANA/SEATEDEAGLE

1.Inaseatedposition,inhaletoextendthearmsstraightouttothesides.Exhaleandgiveyourselfabighug,crossingtherightelbowovertheleft.Thenplaceeitherthebacksofthehandstogetherorthepalmsofthehandstogetherifyouhavethespace.Withyourhandsatthecenterofyourface,relaxyourshouldersandkeepthespinelong.

2.Inhaleandliftyourelbowsup,reachingthefingertipshighertowardthesky.

3.Exhaleandfoldforward.Inhaleandcomebackup.Repeat5timesandthenfoldforwardandtakeafewbreathshere.Createspaceintheuppermidbackandbreathedeeplyintotheshoulders.Whenyou’reready,comebackupandrepeatwiththeleftarmcrossedovertherightandtheoppositeleginfront.

GOMUKHASANAARMS

Reachtherightarmstraightuptowardtheskyandlettheleftarmcomefrombelow.Bendtheelbowsandstartreachingyourfingertipstowardeachotheruntilyourhandsmeet,ifpossible.Trytokeeponeelbowpointingupwardandtheotheronepointingdown.Stayfor5to10breathsandthenswitcharms.

SOFTERVARIATIONIfyourhandscan’ttoucheachotherinthisposition,useayogastrapandinchyourfingersclosertowardeachotherslowly.Pausewhereyoufeellotsofsensation,butcanstillstayveryconnectedtothebreath.

VRKSASANA/TREEPOSE

Comeintoastandingposition.Moveyourweighttotherightfootandlifttheleftlegofftheground,placingtheleftheeltowardtheinnerrightthigh.Reachyourarmsupandbringthepalmstogether.Lettheleftkneepointoutwardbutkeepdrawingthefrontalpointofthelefthipforward.Findyourbalanceherefor10breathsandthenswitchsides.

EASIERVARIATIONPlacethesoleofthefoottotheinsideoftherightcalf.

BEGINNERVARIATIONPlacetheleftheeltotheinnerrightankle.

UTTHITAHASTAPADANGUSTHASANA/EXTENDEDBIGTOEPOSE

1.Comeintoastandingposition.Shiftyourweightovertotheleftfootandbringtherightkneeintothechest.Useyourpeacesignfingers(indexandmiddlefinger)tohookaroundtherightbigtoe,andthengentlyextendtherightlegstraightoutinfrontofyou.Pulltherighthipdownsoitstayslevelwiththeleft,andengagetheinnerthigh.

SOFTERVARIATIONIfyourhamstringsaretight,useayogastrap!Placeitaroundtheballoftherightfootandthenextendthelegforward.Letthestrapdomostofthework;softentheelbowanddrawtheshouldersback.

2.Extendthelegouttothesideanddoyourbesttokeepyourhipsneutralwiththefrontofthehipbonespointingforward.

SOFTERVARIATIONPlacebothsidesofthestrapinonehandandthenopenupthelegtotheside.

3.Gazetothelefttochallengeyourbalancefurther.

CHAPTER4

Thebodyisaplaceforthesoultoresidein

flewtoArubafromSwedentogetherwithmyfamily,planningtospendtwoweekstherebeforeheadingbackhometoCostaRica.IhadneverbeentoAruba before andwasmesmerized by the beauty of this smallCaribbean

island.Onmy very first day there I went tomeditate on the beach at sunset, and

walkingalongtheshoreIdecideditwouldbeniceifIcouldrentasurfboardandmaybe see if therewas a good spot to surf in thewaters around the island. Iasked some random guy on the beach, and he toldme there was a surf shopdowntown.ThenextdayImademyway there. Igotacab, found theshop,opened the

door,andbumpedstraightintoaverytall,blond,handsomeguyinboardshorts.“Hi,” he said. I wanted to say “Hi” back, but for some reason thewords gotstuckinthebackofmythroat—Icouldn’ttalk!Ifeltmyfaceturnred.Whatwashappening?CouldIbenervousabouttalkingtosomeguyI’dnevermetbefore?Thiswasveryunusualforme.Inormallynevergetnervous,andespeciallynotaroundsurferdudes.Whowasthisman?IfoundouthisnamewasDennisandthathewasArubanandalsothemanageroftheshop.Ispentalmostanhourinthere wanting to talk to him but feeling very awkward about it. There wassomethingspecial,evennerve-rackingaboutthisguythatIcouldn’tpinpoint.Intheend I left the shop,wentback to thehotel, anddecided that itwouldhavebeenastupidideaanyway;whatwouldbethepointofgettingtoknowsomeonelivinginAruba?Ineverplannedtocomebackhere.

Foronefullweekfollowingthatday,IwokeupeverysinglemorningthinkingaboutthisguyDennis.Icouldn’tunderstandit.Ibarelyknewhisname!AfteraweekIfinallysummonedallofmycourageandheadedbacktotheshop.Itwasclosed.ThenextdayItriedagain.Ihadneverfoughttogetanyman’sattentionbefore;allof the relationships I’dbeen inso farhad justkindofhappenedontheirown.Pursuingaguy,onatinyislandintheCaribbeanthatI’dnevervisitedbefore,wasveryoutofmycomfortzone.Thistimetheshopwasopen,buthewasn’tthere.AgainIwasnervousandIdidn’twanttoaskhisfriendsabouthim,soIlingeredaslongasIcould,buyingallsortsofthingsIdidn’tactuallyneed.Finallyheappeared.Hecasuallysaidhellobutdidn’tcomeuptotalktome

(probably because Iwas blushing and focusing all ofmy attention on a smallspotonthefloor),andagainIwasunabletospeak.Icouldn’tfigureoutwhatthehellwaswrongwithme,soIquicklypaidformythingsandleft.Walkingacrosstheopen-airmallIsuddenlyfeltsomeonewatchingme,soIturnedaroundandtherehewas.Hewasleaningoutoftheshop,hangingontothedoorframe,withmessyhairandacurious lookonhis face. I tookadeepbreath, flashedhimahugesmile,andkeptwalking.

“Whotaughtusthatweneedtoseeacertainnumberonascaletobehappy?”

Hecamerunningafterme.“Hey!IgetoffintwentyminutesandIwasgoingtogocatch somewaves. I knowwedon’t reallyknoweachother, butdoyouwanttocome?”“Yes,”Isaid.“Ido.”FourandahalfyearslaterIsaid,“Ido,”toawholedifferentkindofquestion,

butthistimeinfrontofourfriendsandfamily,barefoot,wearingawhitedress.Dennis’shairisstillmessyandhestillhasthatcuriouslookonhisfacemostofthe time,andwenowlive togetheron thenorthcoastofArubawithourdogs.It’sbeenquitetheridegettinghere!AfterspendingonlyfivedayswithDenniswhile Iwas inAruba on vacation, Iwent back toCostaRica,wheremy bestfriendimmediatelytoldmeIneededtoreturntoAruba.Ihadfoundtheloveofmylifeandeveryonearoundmecouldtell!BeforeIknewitIwasonaplanetostarttherestofmylifewithsomeoneIhadknownforjustafewdays.Whenyouknow,youknow!Movingtoanewcountry, leavingmyhouse,changingmylife,wasactually

the easiest thing in the world. I’d never felt this comfortable with any otherperson,anditwasclearfromthestartthatweweresimplymeanttobewitheachother.Wemovedintogetherontheveryfirstdayandhavebeenlivingsidebysideeversince.Itwashere inAruba that I found stability for the first time inmy life. Ino

longer felt the intense urge to travel and to keepmoving fromplace to place.With Dennis I felt at home. It was also here, around this time, that I startedmakingthetransitiontowardbecomingafull-timeyogateacher.I didn’t have a jobor aworkpermit inAruba, and I knew Ididn’twant to

workintheeveningsanymore.Ididn’twanttowaitressorhavesmalljobshereand there: I wanted to find something substantial andmake it my own. All Icould thinkofwas: Iwant to teachyoga . I’d taughtyoga to thepeople in thecompanyIworkedfortheyearbefore,andalsoalittlehereandtheretofriends,butI’dnevermadeitanythingofficial.NowhereinArubawithmywholelifea

blankpageinfrontofme,Ithought:Icanmakethishappen!Iaminchargeofmy happiness. What kind of life do I want? There was no substantial yogacommunityontheisland,andIfoundmywaytoaladywhowasgivinglessonsin her house. I started helping her with her classes and managing her smallstudio,andIrealizedquicklythattherewasahugepotentialforyogatogrowontheisland.

“Agoodbodyiseverybody.”

IstartedstudyingandreadingeverybookaboutyogaIcouldgetmyhandson,and during this period my practice grew from spiritual to very physical. Mymeditationpracticehadalwaysbeenthere;normallypeoplefindtheirwaytothephysicalaspectofyogafirstandmeditationandspiritualitysecond,butIstartedthe other way around. I was very comfortable meditating and working withdifferentbreathingtechniques,butbecauseofthebackpainIhadsufferedfromsincemyearlyteensIhadneverdaredtomoveintoaveryphysicalpractice.Iwasbornwithscoliosisandanelevatedhip,andacaraccidentandawhite-waterraftingaccidenthadleftmyspineamess.I’dbeenfearfultotryadvancedasanas(poses) or to move too quickly, but after my first few years of very gentlepracticeIfeltIwasreadytomoveforward.Istartedpracticingyogaatourhouseeverysingledaybutwithanothergoalin

addition to centeringmy thoughts: to sweat. I’d come to themat andmove ineverywaymybodywantedtomove,andinsteadofshyingawayfromtheposesthatcausedmybacktoactup,Itriedtostayinthemalittlelonger.Ilearnedhowtowalkthefinelinebetweenembracingtheintensityofaposeandoverdoingit.Istartedbuildingsomeseriouscorestrength.OneofthereasonsI’dhadsuchabadbackmywholelifewasthatIhadverylittlecorestrengthtosupportit!Ihadalways avoided strong, dynamic exercises, thinking they would aggravatemypain, when in fact they were what I needed the most. The key is to be verypatientwith your body and take it one step at a time. If I had thrownmyselfimmediatelyintoadynamicpractice,Iprobablywouldhaveendedupwithmorepainthaneverbefore.ButIlistenedtowhatmybodywastellingmeeverystepof theway, and I also letmy breath guidemy body instead of the otherwayaround.Thisprincipleiskeyinmyteachingtothisday.Isummonedupthecouragetobeginteachingayogaclassofmyown,onthe

beach in frontofahotel.Wewere in thesandonbeach towels,underasmallgrape tree, and if I had three or four people inmy class I would call Dennisafterward,giddywithexcitement. “Fourpeoplecame tomyclass!!!!” Iwouldscreamintothephone.“Fourpeople!Tomyclass!”

LOVINGINSIGHTSSetyourroots.Buildyourfoundationandlettheadventuresyouhaveahead

ofyougrowfromaplaceofstability.

Bepatientwithyourbody!

Evenifyoucan’tseehowyourdreamisgoingtocometrue,focusontheideaofithappening.Youdon’tneedtoknoweverystepaheadofyoutobeabletomoveforward.

Don’tgetstuckwithlabels!Eatwhatkeepsyourbodyandsoulhappy.

Youareperfectthewayyoualreadyare.Thinkingwewillbehappierbychangingourbodiesissimplyscratchingatthesurface.Whatliesbeneath?Whatdoyoureallyneedtobehappy?

Concentrateonwhatyourbodydoesforyou,notwhatitlookslike.

Focusingonthethingsyouperceiveasflawsonlymagnifiesthem.Seeyourownbeauty.

Eatwellandexercisefortherightreasons.Loveyourbodyfirst,changeit(ifneeded)later.

Healthandhappinessareimportant.Notwhatyourasslookslikeinapairofjeans!

Loveyourbody.Loveyoursoul.

Everynight Iwouldworkonmy sequences, trying towrite thingsdown sothatIwouldn’tbesonervousaboutteaching,butfailingmiserablyeverytime.Icannotprepareaclass. It’s impossible.Evennow, if I try topreparewhat I’mgoingtoteach,IalwaysendupthrowingeverythingoutthewindowthesecondIsee theclassandcreatemy flowon the spot.Thepeople inclassare theonesteaching me everything I need to know about what to do. It’s impossible topreparewhenIdon’tknowwhoisgoingtoattendandwhattheirenergylevelswillbe.But I tried hard duringmy first days of teaching andwould always end up

driving toclass in themorningwithaknot inmystomach—Iwassonervous!Buttheclassalwayswentwell,thewordscameeasilytome,andIlovedguidingpeoplethroughextra-longSavasanas.OnedaytheownerofthehotelIhadmyclassesinfrontofcametoparticipate.“I’vebeenhearingabouttheseclassesofyours,”hesaid.“Ihearyou’regood!”Apparentlywordwasgettingaroundaboutmyclassesandhad reachedall theway to theowner,who lived in theUnitedStates.Afterclassheinvitedmetobreakfast,andbeforeIknewit,Iwashiredbythe

hotel to teachyogaonaregularbasisasan in-houseyoga instructor. Ibookedmy first teacher training that very day. If I was really going to pursue this, IneededtomakesureIhadallthecredentials.Icompletedmyfirst200hoursofteachertrainingsessionsfeelingveryconfident.Ihadalreadybeenteachingforawhile, and everything I knewabout sequencing and anatomy I had learnedonmy own. My real studies since then have come from workshops, trainingsessions, and practice with amazing teachers all over the world and fromimmersingmyselfintheworldofyoga.Andfrommystudents,ofcourse!Theyogacommunityontheislandstartedtogrow.Iaddedclassesandinvited

teachersfromabroadtocomeleadretreatsattheresort.Fast-forwardtwoyears,andIwasteachingtwenty-fourclassesaweek,mostlyVinyasa-basedclassesbutalsomeditation,restorativeyoga,andSUPyoga,whichisyogaclassesonstand-uppaddleboardsontheocean.ClasseswerebigandIwasworkingmybuttofftoevolveasateacher.All the while I was working hard on my own mat. Through a mix of

restorative yoga to heal and create flexibility and a dynamic practice to buildstrength,my backwas feeling great. I had built a lot ofmuscle tone andwas

evengettingthehangofinversions.Handstands,headstands,forearmstands,andadvanced poses I never inmywildest dreams thoughtwould be a part ofmypractice started comingmywaywith ease. I took the dogs for longwalks inbetween classes (by now we had three), went for runs on the beach, andcontinuedpracticingstrong,dynamicvinyasaeveryday.Iwasfeelinggreat,butthe more I movedmy body the more I started realizing: I was getting reallyhungry!

“Lifeismeanttobeenjoyed.Don’tcutyourselfofffromthesweetthingsinlife.”

I absolutely love foodand I love to cook (andeat!),but sincemy firstyearlivinginCostaRicaIhadbeenaverystrictvegan.Thislifestylemakesmefeelthe healthiest, and to this day what I aim for in my day-to-day life, but I’velearnedtoletgoof thelabel.Iwasastrictveganforsixyears,stayingfar,faraway from anything that contained even the possibility of animal products.WhenIsayIwasstrict,Imeanstrict—Iwouldn’tcookinapanifitmighthavebeenusedtocookanythingwithdairyormeatinit,nomatterhowmanytimesit’dbeencleaned.Ihadaroommatewhowouldstashcansoftunaunderherbedbecause I didn’t allow any animal products in the house. Really, I was supervegan!Also,Ilikedtosharemyviewsonveganismwiththeworld.Loudly.Talking

about the health hazards of eating meat and the ethics behind slaughteringanimals isnotgreatdinnerconversation,I’ll tellyouthat.Labelingyourselfasonethingoranotherputsyouinaboxthat’sveryhardtogetyourselfoutof.AsIgotmoreandmoreintoteachingyoga,withalltheexerciseIwasdoingandalltheclassesIwasteaching,IfeltIneededsomethingmore.IfI livedinaplacethathadafarmer’smarketorahealth-foodstore,Iprobablywouldhavekeptthelabelofbeingvegan,butitwasnoteasybeingveganinAruba.Now the situation has improved slightly, but at the time, there were no

vegetarian restaurants, no health-food stores, no farmer’smarkets—nothing! Ifoundmyselfobsessingoverkeepingupwithmyveganeatinghabits.Preparingdinnerbecameastruggle.Ievengotannoyedwalkingthroughthegrocerystore,feeling like therewas nothing proper forme to eat. I foughtDennis about it,feelingasthoughIhadfoundabigflawinourlivesontheisland.It tookme a little while to understand that I needed to transition toward a

morevegetariandiet.ItwashardinthebeginningbecauseIwasveryattachedtothevegan label Ihadgivenmyself.With time,however, I startedeating somecheeseand thensomeyogurtand thenevena little icecream.Becomingmorerelaxedaboutmyeatinghabitshelpedmestayfueledthroughoutthedaywithout

feelingstressedaboutwhatIwasputtingintomybody.Alittlebitoficecreamisnotgoingtoruinyourlife.Guilt,however,could!Irealizedthatbeinghealthyandcaringforyourbodyisallaboutmind-set.By

obsessingovereverylittlethingIwasputtinginmybody,Ihadcreatedaharsh,judgmental environment for myself. A tense environment doesn’t allow us tocreate thehappinessweneed; tohaveahappy,healthybodyweneed to thinkhappy,healthythoughtsaboutit!Lovingyourbodymeanslovingeverypartofit, not just when it suits your mind or when you’ve created the “perfect”conditionsforit.It’s not that difficult to love our bodies when we’re working out a lot,

followingastrict regimen,eatingaspecificdiet—whenwefitourselves intoamold thatsocietyhas toldusweneed to fit into.But this love isnotwholeortrue.It’sthemindtrickingusintobelievingwe’rehappybecausewearetryingtocontrol thebody.Thesecondyou“falloff thewagon,” themomentyoueatthatdessertor skipaworkoutorwhatever elseyou’vedecided is essential foryoutobehappyaboutthewayyourbodylooks,youwillfeelguilty.Whyisitsoimportanttobethin?Fit?Muscular?Whyisitthatweonsome

levelfeelthatwearenotgoodenoughthewayweare?Whotaughtusthatweneedtoseeacertainnumberonascaletobehappy?Whenwasitdecidedthatweneedtolookacertainwaytofeelhappyaboutwhoweare?Yes,wewanttobe healthy. Yes, we want to feel good. But the world we live in is full ofunrealistic expectations that absolutely no one can live up to. We all havedifferent ideas aboutwhat itmeans to have a goodbody, butmydefinition isthis:Agoodbodyiseverybody.Yourbody,thewayitisnowinthismoment,isagoodbody.Youhave legs towalkyou through theworld,amouth to speakwith,ahearttofeel,handsfortouching.Yourbodyisamiraclejustthewayitis.You are amiracle just the way you are. Start treating yourself that way, andexerciseandhealthyeatinghabitswillcomeeasily.Stopjudgingyourself!Whenwe truly lovewhowe are,wewill naturallywant to care for our bodies. It’swhereoursoulresides.Weneedtostopcomparingourselvestoothersandstartlovingourselvesjustthewayweare.Ofcoursewehaveahardtimefindinganexerciseordietroutinetostickto—thewholereasonwefeelweneedoneisthatdeepdownwefeelwearenotgoodenoughasweare.

RAWBANANAICECREAM2bananas,peeled,choppedandfrozen 1tablespoonmaplesyrup 1teaspoonorganicvanillabeanpowder 2tablespoonschoppedalmonds

Peelthebananas,cuttheminpieces,andputinanairtightcontainerinthefreezerforatleast12hours.Whenyoufeelacravingforicecreamcomingon,simplyplacethefrozenbananasinablender,addthemaplesyrupandthevanillapowder,andgetblending!Inthebeginning,thebananaswillspinaroundtheblender,butwhentheystarttomelttheywillturnintoaperfect,amazinglydelicioussoft-serveicecream!Garnishwithchoppedalmondsandserverightaway.Youcanalsoflavorthe“icecream”withprettymuchanythingyouwant:cacao,almondbutter,berries,freshmint.Thesky’sthelimit!

RAWVEGANBOUNTYBLISS1(400ml)canoforganiccoconutmilk 120mlmeltedcoconutoil 225grawcacaopowder PinchHimalayansalt 40gunsweetenedshreddedcoconut 8tablespoonsmaplesyrup

Tomakethecoconutcream,placethecanofcoconutmilkinthefridgeovernightoratleastforafewhours.Whenyouopenthecan,athicklayerof“cream”willhavegatheredattheverytopofthecan,andthewaterwillhavesunktothebottom.Youwanttouseallofthiscream!Mixcoconutoil,cacaopowder,Himalayansalt,5tablespoonsofthemaplesyrup,andthecoconutcream

inabowlandstiruntilsmooth.Pourhalfofthechocolatemixtureinatinandputinthefreezerfortenminutes.Meanwhile,mixshreddedcoconutwiththeremainingmaplesyrupuntilitbecomesathickpaste.Takethetinoutofthefreezerandspreadthecoconutmixtureontop.Pourtherestofthechocolatemixtureintothetin.Putthemixturebackinthefreezerfor30minutes,thencutinpiecesandenjoy!

Themorecoconutcreamyouuse,themoreyourchocolatewillresemblemilkchocolate.Insteadofshreddedcoconutyoucanuseanyfillingyouwant(howaboutalmondbutter?),andyoucanaddnuts,

raisins,gojiberries,oranythingyoufeelliketothechocolate.Anothertipistoflavorthechocolatewithafewdropsofpeppermintoil.Sincethechocolateismadefromcoconutoilitwillmeltfairlyquickly,sodon’t

leaveitoutfortoolong!

Tellingyourselfyou’renotgoodenoughisnotlovingyourself.Lookinginthemirrorandseeingonlyflawsisnotlovingyourself.Exercisingordietingsimplybecauseyouwanttochangeyourbodyisnotlovingyourself.AndIdon’tinanywaymeanthatexercisingisnotgoodforyou—quitetheopposite.It’sthewaywelookatourselves thatweneedtochange.Themostdifficult thingisnot tofindanexerciseordietroutinethatwecanstickto,buttodeeplyacceptthatwearealreadyokay.Youareokay.Youaremorethanokay!Youarebeautifuljustthewayyouare.Isay,changeitup!Insteadofthinkingyouneedtochangeyourbodysoyou

can love your body (“after I’ve lost twenty pounds, I’ll be happywithwho Iam”),do it theotherwayaround.Loveyourbodysoyoucanchange it. Ifwekeep exercising in order to change because we are not already perfect, thatexercise is always going to be negative and to have a negative effect on allaspects of our being—mind, body, soul. You think staring at yourself in themirror, jaws clenched,while running on the treadmill is good for your body?Thinkagain.Youthinktakingawaythejoyofeatingdeliciousfoodisgoodforyourbody?Thinkagain.Weareenergeticbeings.Whatyousendout,yougetback.Ifyoudon’twant

yourentirelifetorevolvearoundtheshapeofyourphysicalbody(whichinthebig scheme of things is so insignificant!), you need to realize this and makefundamentalchangesfromtheinsideinstead.Yogaisgood.Itcanalsobedonewrong, sure—practicing without mindfulness can definitely be compared torunningonthetreadmill,jawsclenched.Areyouinyourbodyonthemat?Orinyourmind?Doyou feel themoment?Orareyou focusedonnailing thatnextpose,gettingto thenextstep?Ourmindscanturnanythingintoego.Whichiswhyagainweneedtocomebacktoaplaceoflove.Thegoodthingaboutyogaisthatitissoaccepting,soloving,wecanalldoit,

no matter our age or body type. We can practice whether we’re tired orenergized,duringthedayornight...aslongasthebreathisthere.Dailyyogahelpsbecausethethingthathurtsusinthelongrunisourmind,notourbody.Wecanweighamillionpounds,butthataloneisnotgoingtomakeusunhappy.It’s our mind’s perception of this fact that will make us unhappy. It’s thethinkingthathurtsus.Whenwesay“Ishould”or“theyshouldn’t”or“Iwould

bebetterif...”—thisisthereasonwefeelsoinadequate.Yogahelpscalmthemindsowecanfreeourselvesfromthesedestructivethoughtpatterns.I used to think I wasn’t good enough, thin enough, smart enough, pretty

enough. And I was always trying to find something that would help me getbetter, thinner, smarter, prettier, because then at last I would be happy. But Ifinallyrealizedthatnothingfromtheoutsidewilleverfixmyinside.Evenif Iamasupermodelorthesmartestpersonintheworld,mymindwillkeeptryingtofindthenextthingtofix.Thatiswhywehavetofindbalanceandhappinessinside,notoutside.Exerciseisgoodandtakingcareofourbodyisgood,butweneed to do it mindfully. Once we realize that we are already beautiful,intelligent,perfect,therestwillfallintoplace.Wewill startmaking decisions throughout our day thatwill heal our body.

Andwewillmakethesedecisionsautomatically,becauseweloveourselves.Soitwillbenaturaltogoforthefruitinsteadofcandy,tomove,tomeditate,toeatmeals thatbuildusup insteadofeating things thatbreakusdown.And this iswherebalancecomesfrom.It tookme a long time to find a balance in life, and I still struggle through

dayswhenall Iwant todo is lie inbedandeatmyweight inchocolate.Whodoesn’t?AndsometimesIdothattoo,trustme—andit’sokay!Aslongasthosedaysarenotoverpoweringyour life.Findwhatmakesyouhappy,acceptyourhighsandlows,andremember:thistooshallpass.Staybeautiful,insideandout.Loveyourbody.Loveyoursoul.These days I stay away from labels completely. I eat a diet that consists of

mostlywholefoods,vegetablesandfruits,grains,andlegumes.Ialsoeatpasta,bread,cheese,chocolate,icecream...younameit.IknowthattheproblemisnotthefoodsIputinmybody,butthewayIthinkaboutmybody.WhenIfocusonlovingwhoIam,Inaturallygoforfoodsthatdomegood.Inolongerhavetolabelmyselfveganorvegetariantofeelhappyaboutmydiet—Ijustneedtofeelcontent!Iknowthateatinganabundanceofhealthywholenonprocessedfoodsmakemefeelbalancedandhappy,soIstriveforthat,butitdoesn’tmeanIcan’thavedessert. Isometimesjokethatdessert is thewholepointofeatingdinner!AndImeanit.Lifeismeanttobeenjoyed.Don’tcutyourselfofffromthesweetthingsinlife.Justlistentoyourbodyandyou’llknowjusthowmuchsweetnessyouneed.Aswitheverything,balanceiskey.

Usedailyaffirmationstoattractallofthebeautifulthingsyouwantinlife.Affirmationsarepositivestatementsaboutourselvesoroursituationthatcanhelpusreprogramhowwethink,feel,andperceiveoursurroundings.Anaffirmationwillenforceyourbeliefinwhatyou’relookingtomanifestandcreateinyourlife.Ifyou’relookingtode-stress,forexample,insteadofthinking“Iwanttogetridofstress”or“Iwanttofindpeace,”affirm:“Iamcalm.”Imaginingyourdesiredstateofbeingassomethingthatalreadyexistshereandnowwilltransformlifeinaverypowerfulway.Herearesomebeautifulaffirmationstouseforyourday-to-daylife:“Iamamagnetforthegoodnessoflife.Iattractbeautifulexperiences,qualities,andsituations.

Love,peace,abundance,andjoyarecomingmyway.Allgoodthingsflowtome,andIreceivefreelywithouthesitation.Iamfree.Iamblessed.Iamwhole.Iamonewithallthatis.”“IamSTRONG.Ihavethepowertoturnanychallengingsituationtomyfavor.Negativitybounces

offme,asIchoosetoinviteonlyloveintomyworld.Iffeardoesentermylife,Iwillusemyinnerstrengthtotransformitintolovingpower.Iamstrong,andIknowthateverychallengeI’mpresentedwithinlifeisalovingreminderfromtheuniversetoconnectbacktomyinnerpower.Idonothesitatetousemystrengthwhenneeded.”

VinyasaandHeartOpeners

Vinyasameansflow,oragradualmovementthattakesyoufromonepoint and allows you to land in the next. Vinyasa is sometimesdescribedasbreath-synchronizedmovement,meaningmovementandbreathunitedasone.Thewordvinyasaisnowusedinyogaclassestodescribe the connection between poses and can also be used as acollectionofmovements, as theones showed in this chapter.You’llrecognizethevinyasaaspartoftheSunSalutationfromchapterone.Avinyasa,asanoun,isusuallypracticedrepeatedlyinstylesofyogasuch as Ashtanga and Vinyasa Flow. The vinyasa strengthens thebody, opens the heart, and creates and maintains heat when we’repracticingonthemat.It’sextremelyimportantthatyoulearnhowtopracticethevinyasa

correctlyandthatyouhavegoodposture!Sincewerepeatthevinyasasoofteninclass,youcouldinjureyourselfifyoupracticeaposelikeChaturangaincorrectly.Listentoyourbodyandadapttheposeswhenyouneedtosothatyoufindavariationthat’sperfectforyou.Backbends,orheartopeners,doexactly that: theyopen theheart.

Physicallyandemotionally.Whenyouopenupthebackoftheheartand across the chest, you create space for the heart, which is bothvaluableandliberating!Whenyouarepracticingbackbends,youmusttrytodistributethespaceasevenlyasyoucanthroughoutthespine,andfocusontherightpartoftheback.Thelumbarareaofthespine,thelowerback, isusuallyveryflexible,andwegenerallyneedmorestrength here than space. The same goes for the neck. Try to focusyour backbends around the part of the spine that needs the mostopening:theverybackoftheheart,thethoracicspine.That’swhyit’s

calledaheartopener—weactuallyopenuprightat thecenterof theheart.

VINYASA

1.Comeintotabletoppositionwithyourhandsplacedshoulderdistanceapart.Linetheshouldersupwiththewristsandthehipswiththeknees.Tuckyourtoesunderandsendyourhipsupandback,comingintoDownward-FacingDog.Adjustthespacebetweenyourhandsandfeetifneeded.Withyourfeethipdistanceapart,widenthroughthesitbonesanddrawtheheelstowardtheearth.Pressthethumbsandindexfingersdown,groundingthroughtheinnerwrist,andwrapthetricepsback.Relaxtheneckandengagetheinnerthighs.

2.FromDownward-FacingDog,shiftyourweightforwardandmakeyourwayintoPlankPose.Linetheshouldersupwiththewrists,drawyourlowerribsintowardthebody,andelongatethetailbonetowardtheheels.Activelypresstheearthawayfromyousoyou’renotsinkingintotheshoulders.Presstheheelstothebackofthematandletthechestdrawyouforward.Activatebothyourcoreandyourlegs.

3.Takeadeepbreathinandshiftyourweightslightlyfartherforward,overthewrists.ExhaleandbendyourelbowstoChaturangaDandasana.Hereyouwanttheshoulderstolineupwiththeelbowsandtheelbowstolineupwiththewrists.Keepthethumbspressingtotheground,theribsdrawinginward,andthelegsstrong.Eventhoughit’satrickyposetostayin,relaxyourfaceandneck!

4.Inhaleandactivelypressyourtoestothebackofthemat,liftingyourheartintoUpward-FacingDog.Pressthetopsofthefeetontothematandliftyourthighsoffthefloor.Thinkofthecrownofyourheadasanextensionofyourspineandliftyourgazewithouttiltingyourheadallthewayback.Keeptheheartopen,wideningthroughthecollarbones!

5.Tuckyourtoes,engageyourcore,andpullyourhipsupandbacktoDownward-FacingDog.

Besidesayogamat,afewotherpropscanbeveryusefulwhenyou’repracticingyoga.Ipersonallyusestraps,blocks,andblanketsinmyownhomepractice.Thinkaboutthesepropsassupportthatyoucanusewhenyouneedit;theyarenotcrutchesorinanywayasignofyournotbeinggoodenough.Propscanhelpyoubetteryouralignmentandalsodeepencertainposesinasafeway.Usingblocksintherightplacesmeansthatyou’resmartandfocusingongoodposture,notthatyou’retoostifftoreachthefloor.Iencourageallmystudentstouseblockswheneverneeded.Yogastrapsworkgreatasanelongationofyourarmswhenyou’reworkingtheshouldersorhamstrings

orareinstandingbalances.Blanketsaregreattousefoldedupunderyourhipsformeditation,ortokeepyourbodywarmattheendofpractice.

VINYASAFORBEGINNERS1.Cometotabletoppositionwithyourhandsandkneesonthefloor.Tuckyourtoesandliftyourhipsupandbackwhilekeepingyourkneesbent.Letyourheelscomehighoffthegroundandletyourchestpresstowardthetopofyourthighs,lengtheningthelowerback.Wrapthetricepsbackandrelaxyourneck.

2.FloatyourbodyforwardtoPlankPosewiththeshouldersliningupwiththewrists,andthenbringthekneesdowntotheearth.

3.Withyourkneesstillontheground,slightlyshiftyourweightforwardandbendyourelbows,comingintoahalfChaturangawithyourkneesonthefloor.Findthe90-degreeangleoftheshoulders,elbows,andwrists.Engageyourcore.

4.Comeallthewaydowntothematandplaceyourhandsslightlyinfrontofyourshoulders.

5.Pressthepalmstothematandliftyourchestoffthefloor,comingintoCobraPose.Findacomfortabledistancebetweenyourchestandtheyogamat,whereyoufeeltheupperbackengagedandnopaininthelowerback.

6.TuckyourtoesunderandmovethroughtoatabletoppositionandbacktoDownward-FacingDog.

CAMATKARASANA/WILDTHING

MakeyourwaytoDownward-FacingDog.Inhaleandextendtherightlegupandbackbehindyou.Bendthekneeandopenupthroughthehip.Lettherightfootbecomeheavyandgentlyflipyourdogover,landingwiththeballofthefootrightbehindtheleftkneeonthemat.Feelthefeetgroundedtotheearth,liftupthroughthehips,opentheheart,andletyourheadhangback.Breathedeeplyandenjoythisbeautifulheartopener!EngageyourcoretocomebacktoThree-LeggedDownward-FacingDog,lowerthefoot,andthendotheotherside.

SETUBANDHASARVANGASANA/BRIDGEPOSE

Liedownwithyourfeetgroundedontheearth,hipdistanceapart.Findaneutralplaceforthelowerback,pressthetwobigtoesdown,andinhaletoliftthehipsup.Bringthehipsashighasyoucanwithouthavingtosqueezeoroveractivatetheglutes.Interlacethefingersbeneathyou;wiggletheforearmsandtheelbowstogetherandcreatemorespaceforthebackoftheheartbygroundingthearms.Lettheheadstaystill,keepingthegazeuptheentiretime.Engagetheinnerthighsandmakesurethekneesstayinlinewiththeankleswithouttiltingouttothesides.Stayfor5slowbreathsandthenreleasethehandsandgentlycomedown.

URDHVADHANURASANA/WHEELPOSE

BegininBridgePosewiththearmsrestingdownbyyoursides.Reachyourarmsstraightuptowardthesky,pluggingthearmsintothesocketsoftheshoulders.Groundtheshoulderstothematandreversethepalmsofthehandsoneithersideoftheears,shoulderdistanceapart.Pressyourhandsdownandliftup.Pauselightlyonthecrownofyourheadandsqueezeyourelbowsinwardstowardoneanother;pressyourchesttowardyourelbows,thenliftallthewayupintoWheel.Keepaveryslighttuckofthechin,relaxtheneck,andfullyengagethelegs!Stayforfivebreaths.Toreleasethepose,tuckyourchintoyourchestandslowlybendtheelbows,lettingtheshouldersbethefirsttotouchthefloor.Comeallthewaydowntoyourback.Remembertoexittheposethesamewayyouenteredit—mindfullyandwiththebreath.

USTRASANA/CAMELPOSE

Cometoyourknees,doublefoldingyourmatorplacingablanketbeneaththekneesifyourjointsaresensitive.Keepthekneeshipdistanceapartandlinethehipsupwiththeknees.Firmtheinnerthighsandkeeppressingthehipsforwardasyouleanback,reachingforyourheels.Youmighthavetobringthehipsbackjustslightlytogettherebeforeyoubringthehipbonesforwardagain,liningthemupwiththeknees.Letyourheadfallbackandfocusoncreatingspacefortheneckwhilesofteningtheglutes.Stayfor5slowbreaths,oraslongasyou’recomfortable.

Ifyoucan’treachyourheels,placeablockoneithersideoftheheelsforthepalmsofthehandstorest.

Youcanalsodothisposewiththetoestucked.

SUPPORTEDHEARTOPENER

Cometoaseatedpositionwithtwoblocksnexttoyou.Placeoneoftheblocksbehindyouonthematonamediumlevelwiththelongendoftheblockliningupwiththetopofthemat.Placetheotheraboutthelengthofablockaway,beginningonahighlevel.Liedownsothattheedgesofyourshoulderbladesdrapeoverthefirstblockandsothatthesecondblockendsupcomfortablyattheverybackofyourhead.Youcanplayaroundwiththeheightoftheblockbeneathyourheaduntilit’satacomfortableplace(high,medium,orlow).Youcanletyourlegsstayextended,orifyouwish,connectthesolesofthefeet,allowingthekneestocomeouttothesides—whateverfeelsbesttoyou.Letthearmsrestdownbyyoursides,palmsfacingup.Breathedeeply.Stayforafullminuteoraslongasyoufeelcomfortable,rollingovertoonesidetocomeoutoftheposewhenyou’reready.

CHILD’SPOSE/BALASANA

Child’sPoseisabeautifulplacetoslowdownortakealittlebreakbetweenlongeryogasequences.Hereyoucanallowthebreathtoslowdown,andit’sasafeplacetogroundyourselfwiththeforeheadtouchingthemat.Child’sPoseisveryhealingforboththebodyandthesoul,andisoftenusedasacounterposeafteradvancedposestorebalancebeforewecontinuetothenextstep.CometoChild’sPoseasoftenasyoulikeinayogaclass!

CHAPTER5

Goingwiththeflow

practice yoga every single day, but my practice changes just like theseasons.During the peak ofmymost dynamic year thus far,when Iwaspracticing like crazy and sweating and working so hard on the mat, I

decidedtostartanInstagramaccount.IalreadyhadaFacebookpageasayogateacher for my students to keep up with classes and changes, and I lovedspreadinginspirationandmotivationforyogaonline.IwashappywithmylifeinAruba,classesweregoingwell,andsocialmedia

justseemedlikeafunwaytoreachandconnectwithnewpeople.Ididn’thaveaplanformyInstagramaccountatall.Istartedpostinglittlebitsofmylife—yogaon the beach, food that I ate, handstands, travels—and my following slowlygrew.WhenIhadtwoorthreethousandfollowers,peoplestartedaskingmeforadviceonyogaandyogaposesandIgladlyreplied.AfewmonthslaterDennisandIhitaroughpatch.Thiswasacombinationof

differentfactors:Hewasverybusysettinguphisnewskateshop,Iwasteachingamillionclassesaweek,andwedidn’thaveasmuchtimetogetheraswe’dhadbefore. At the same time some personal issues came up in my family, andinsteadof sharing thatwithDennis and lettingmyproblemsbringus closer, Istarted to distancemyself fromhim.What followedwas themost challengingperiodofourrelationship.Wehadnevereverfoughtbefore,butallofasuddenwewere fighting about little things all the time. I started spendingmore timegoingoutwithmygirlfriendsandactingalittlebitcrazy,andDenniswithdrewtohisshopandstayedhomewiththedogs.OnedayIwashome,contemplatingthedifficulttimewehadfoundourselves

in,andtodistractmyselfIreachedformyphonetoshareaphotoonInstagram

ofme doing a handstand.Normally Iwould caption the photos I sharedwithsomeinformationabouttheposeorjustmentionwhatalovelydayIwashaving.But at this verymoment Iwasn’t having a lovely day. Iwas going through ashitty time. I don’t knowwhat came overme, but I startedwriting aboutmyfeelings—abouttheloveandthepainandthestruggles.AndthenIshareditwiththeworld.Ididn’texpectanythingspecial,Ijustwantedtowritedownmythoughts,but

instantlyIstartedgettingabigresponse.Peoplecommentedonthepostandtoldmetheyfeltthesame.Igote-mailsfromotherssharingtheirownstories.WhatIhad written resonated, and I realized: Many people out there are looking forinspiration, but the yoga pose is not what’s important here. The love isimportant.Socialmediaissofullofnegativityandunrealisticidealsthatnoonecanliveupto;peopleveryrarelysharewhattheyactuallyfeel.

Istartedpostingmorefrequently,notcaringverymuchaboutthephotosIwassharingbutfocusingonmywriting.IfIhadabadday—workingthroughtrustissues inmy relationship, for instance—Iwould sit down,meditate on it, andwritemythoughtsabout trustdown.Insteadofkeepingthemtomyselfor inajournal,Isharedthemwiththeworld.ThroughthepainIwasinatthemoment,adeepwisdomblossomed.Everydaymyfollowinggrewbiggerandbigger,andnotoncedidIstoptothinkaboutwhatIwascreatingorwhy.Thiswasjustanoutletformetosharemythoughts,bitsofmyday,andthewisdomI’dacquiredthroughoutmylife.ItwasduringthistimethatDennisfoundyoga.Hehadneverbeenparticularly

interested in yoga; he’d takemy class once in awhile, but it didn’t really doanythingforhim.Ithinkhestillhadtheideathatyogawassomethingmainlyforgirlsandforgranola-eatinghippiesinhempclothing(whichitcanbe,andthereisnothingwrongwiththat!Butyogaisforeveryone).OneweekBrockCahill,someoneIconsideroneofmybiggestteachersformyphysicalpractice,cametotheislandtoleadaretreatwithhiswife.I’dneverconvincedDennistogetintoyoga before and I didn’t expect that to change, butDennis took his class andabsolutely fell in love.Herewas a guywhowas stronger thanSuperman, didone-armedhandstands,andseemedtoeffortlesslyfloatabovetheground—whilekeepingasmileonhisface!Dennis started taking my classes after that, and it turned out that the

connection we thought we’d lost was still there, just waiting to be rekindled.Yogabroughtuscloser,andweworked throughall thepainwe’dexperiencedmonthsearlier.Itwasaroundthistimethatmyfollowingonsocialmediastartedtoexplode.I’dfoundmywaybacktothatplaceofdeeploveandconnectioninmy relationship, my practice was strong, classes were growing, and Dennis’sshopwasdoingwell;wehadabsolutelynothingtocomplainabout.Icouldhavegonebacktomymoreshallowwayofsharingwiththeworld,butIdidn’twantto.Ihadnoreservationsatallaboutputtingdownmydeepestthoughts,myideasaboutlife,andalsomyinsecuritieswiththeworld.My Instagram following blossomed into a community, and I continued

sharingthehappinesspresentinmyyogapractice,ourlivesonthebeach,food,butalsoreal,human,rawemotion.IwasamazedbytheoutpouringofloveIwasreceiving and by howmany peoplewanted to takemy class.Over time I had

started traveling to teach. The first class I ever taught internationally was inOrlando,Florida.Weweregoing there for aSurfExpo, and somepeople hadaskedifIwouldconsiderteachingaclasswhileIwasthere.Ithought,Sure,whynot?Ihadtogoogletofindastudiothatwouldtakemeinonsuchshortnotice,and then I shared the information on Instagram. I had maybe thirty or fortythousandfollowersatthattime,andtheworkshopsoldoutrightaway.Actually,itendedupbeingthebiggestworkshopthestudiohadeverhosted!Peoplewereputtingtheirmatsdowninthelobbyandinthehallwayleadingintothestudiobecausewehadrunoutofspace.ThestudiohadnoclueaboutwhoIwasandwereassurprisedasIwastoseepeoplepouringin.

“IwasamazedbytheoutpouringofloveIwasreceiving.”

Iwassonervous thatmyhandswereshakingas Iwalked into thestudio. Itwasonethingteachingmyownstudentsortouristswhocametovisittheislandorleadingretreatgroups,whereIgottoknowpeopleonadeeperlevel—noonereallyexpectedanythinghugefromme.Butherewasabiggroupofpeoplethatcamefromnearandfarspecificallytoseeme.TheyhadnoideaifIwasagoodteacher or not.How could they?All they knewwas that Iwas a personwholiked to share inspirational things online. I felt that they expected me to bespectacular,somethingveryspecialandoutoftheordinary.Isatdownonmyyogamatandlookedaround.Fiftypairsofeyeslookedback

atmeexcitedly.Ithoughttomyself:IamwhoIam.Icanonlydomybest.SoIdid.ItaughtthebestclassIcouldpossiblythinkof,andaftertwohourstheclasswasdeep inSavasana,manyof themcrying fromthe releaseof thepractice. Iamgoodenough,Ithought.Icandothis.So I continued to travel, teach, and sharemy life with theworld. Before I

knewit,Ihadmorethanamillionpeoplefollowingmeeverysingleday.Thisiswhenlifestartedtogethectic.Whatoncewasaclassoffiftypeopleinasmallyoga studio in Orlando turned into huge yoga events of five hundred to athousand attendees. Suddenly life wasn’t as calm and steady as I’d alwayswished it to be. I was so excited that people wanted me to come teach in

differentpartsof theworldthatIstartedsayingyestoeverything.Iwentfromteachingtwotothreeretreatweeksayeartonineorten.Itaughtworkshopsatevents and festivals all over theUnitedStates,Canada, theCaribbean,CentralAmerica,Brazil,Scandinavia,andprettymucheverysinglecountryinnorthernEurope.Allofthatinayear.

LOVINGINSIGHTSLetyourpracticeevolveandchangeliketheseasons.

Lifegivesuschallengestohelpusgrow.Everythingthatcomesourwayishereforareason.Don’tshyaway.Embracethebadtimesasmuchasyoudothegood.

Valueyourrelationships.

Betruthful.Tellthetruth,tellthetruth,tellthetruth.Toyourself.Toyourlovedones.Totheworld.

Itdoesnotmatterwhatbringsyoutothemat.Whatmattersisthatyougetthere!

Nothingismoreimportantthanyourownwell-being.Sometimessayingnoiscaringforyourself.

Doyourhomework.Whatdoesyourbodyneedtoheal?

Surrenderingtowhatisandmovingwithlifeinsteadofagainstitisthekeytohappyliving.

Travelingnonstopwasalotoffuninthebeginning,andstillis,butafterafewmonths on the road I started to feel depleted.Wewere so busy traveling andteaching that Ididn’thave timeformyownpersonalpracticeanymore. I’ddomybesttosneakinsomehigh-powereddynamicsequenceswhenIhadthetime.I wanted to sweat and move as I always had, but there wasn’t time for itanymore. I alsodida lotofphoto shootsat the time,whichmeant I’dputmybody in difficult poses without warming up or preparing the way I normallywould.AllofthiscombinedwithsomethingI’dbeenluckyenoughtoavoidformostofmy life—stress—broughtmeback to the sameplace Ihadbeenyearsandyearsearlier:withbackpain.Wewereonairplanesandinairportsmostofthetime,sleepinginhotels,goingfromcountrytocountry,citytocity,teachingeveryday.One morning in San Francisco I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock,

reachedouttoturnitoff,andliterallyfeltsomethingsnapinmyneck.Ihadnoideawhathadhappened. Icouldn’tmove! Iwas invery littlepainat first,butwithinminutesitwasalmostunbearable;Icouldn’tevengetoutofbed.AndIhada jam-packedclass thatveryafternoon! Iknewat thatmoment that thingsweregettingoutofhand; Ihadbecomesocaughtup in teachingand trying toconnectwitheveryone—Iliterallysaidyestoeveryonewhoaskedmetoteachabroad—that my health and well-being had been compromised. This was notokay.One of themost important rules that I live by is this: “To love others, you

must first loveyourself.”Youhave togiveyourselfall thecareyouneed! It’snotjustokaytobeselfish,it’sanecessity.Ifyourunoutofsteam,howareyouevergoingtobeofservicetotheworld?Ifmybodywasn’tfeelinggood,howwasIevergoingtoteachotherstotakecareoftheirs?ThatdayinSanFranciscoImademywaytotheacupuncturistandwaslucky

enoughtogetaThaimassagefromoneofthemostprominenttherapistsinthecity.Ifeltbetter,butIwalkedintothatclasswearingthickknittedsocksandascarf(Iwasfreezing!)andfeelingsosadIcouldcry.IwasteachingahandstandworkshopandIcouldn’teventurnmyhead;someonehadtohelpmesitdownonmymat.Theclasswentwellanyway,Ihadfriendsdemonstrateposesforme,andIbuilt theclassaroundwhatIpersonallyneededthemostat thatmoment:healing.

Sometimeslifethrowsyoubothpunchesandcurveballs,andyouneedtolearnhowtoadapttotheflowoflife.

CARROTANDGINGERSOUP900gcarrots,peeledandcutinrounds 3largepotatoes,peeledandsliced 1bigyellowonion,chopped 15cmpiecefreshgingerroot,peeledandchopped 4clovesgarlic 950mlorganicvegetablestock 1(400ml)canorganiccoconutmilk Saltandpeppertotaste Corianderforgarnish

Placethecarrots,potatoes,onion,ginger,andgarlicinalargestockpotandcoverwiththevegetablestock.Bringtoaboilandkeepsimmeringonlowheatuntilthevegetablesandpotatoeshavesoftened.Addthecoconutmilkandbringtoaboilagain.Takethepotoffthestoveanduseahandblenderorprocessinablenderalittleatatimetomixwell.Addsaltandpeppertotasteandgarnishwithcoriander.

Thissoupissonourishing!Ifyouhaveacoldorifyou’refeelingalittlelow,addsomemoregarlicandgingerandmaybeapieceofchilipepperortwoforanextrapick-me-up!

Fromthatdayon, Ichangedmyhomepracticefromdynamic to restorative,andImadeitaruletogetbodyworkdone—massage,acupuncture,energywork—onceaweek.Wewereallovertheplaceandlifewasmovingsofastaroundme;Ihadtoadoptapracticethatnotonlysoothedmybodybutalsomysoul.Istoppedthinkingthatmytimeonthemathadtolookacertainway(akaflowy,advanced, and inverted) and focused on poses that would stretch my tightmusclesinasafewayandwouldhealmyback.My homework will always be to heal my back; it’s not a problem that

suddenlywillbefixedandgoaway.Ineed tokeepmylifestressfreeandmybodyhealthytofeelgood.Thatgoesforallofus!Thisiswhyyogaiscalledapractice;we’reneverdone.NotadaygoesbythatIdon’tputmylegsupagainstthewall(oneofthemost

healingthingsyoucandoforasensitivelowerback).Weallneedtofigureoutwhat our yoga homework is; for some it’s back pain, for others it’s tighthamstrings, healing old injuries, a tense neck—what have you. Let your yogahealyoubyadaptingyourpracticetowhatyouneedduringthismomentofyourlife.I’mcertainIwillfindmywaybacktoadynamicpracticeagain(rightnowI’m someplace in between) because our yoga practice ebbs and flows like thetide.Surrenderingtowhatisandmovingwithlifeinsteadofagainstitisthekey.

RestorativeYoga

Mostofusleadbusylives.Werushfromoneplacetoanother,takingindifferentimpressionsfromoursurroundings,constantlyex-posedtonew people and situations.Whenwas the last time you let yourselfreallyrelax?Restorativeyogaisagreatcomplementtoavinyasapractice,asit

gives us time and space to be present in themoment, let go of oldtension, and heal our bodies from within. This chapter is aboutmoving into safe, comfortable poses that you can stay in for a longtime. Make sure that the temperature of the room you’re in iscomfortable (if you’d like, keep a blanket next to you to use forsupportor tocoveryourselfwith ifyougetchilly), turnyourphoneoff,andallowthebreathtogroundyouinthehereandnow.

90-DEGREELEGS

Thisisaveryhealingpositionfortheentirespine,especiallythelowerback.Ifyou’resufferingfromlowerbackpain,thisisagreatplacetofindrelease,butit’salsoexcellentafteralongdayattheoffice.Placeachaironyouryogamatandliedownclosetoit.Bringyourlegsuptotheseatofthechair.Bringyoursitbonescloseenoughtothechairthattheshinsbecomeparalleltothefloor.Letyourcalvesrestcomfortablyonthechairandtakethetimeyouneedtoallowthelowerbacktofullyrelax.Youcanstayhereforquitesometime,breathingspaceintoyourlowerbackforaslongasitfeelsgood.

SEATEDPIGEONONACHAIR1.Sitontheedgeofachair,withyourspinelong.Placetherightankleontopoftheleftkneeandflexthefoot.

2.Gentlybendover,foldingforward.Relaxthebackofyourneckandfeelthesoftstretchintherighthipandglute.

3.Ifyoucan,foldallthewaydown,placingyourfingertipsonthefloor.Comebackupwithaninhaleand

3.Ifyoucan,foldallthewaydown,placingyourfingertipsonthefloor.Comebackupwithaninhaleandswitchlegswhenyou’reready.

Hereareafewgeneralthingstothinkaboutwhenyou’repracticing,regardlessoftheposeyou’rein:

Stayconnectedtothebreath.Whenyoufeelyourmindwandering,don’tbecomefrustratedbutsimplyletthatbeareminderforyoutocomebacktothebreath.Overandoveragain.

Keepthespinelong.Thinkaboutthecrownofyourheadasanextensionofthespine—nevertiptheentireheadbackbutbeconscioustokeepspacefortheneck.

Relaxyourfaceandyourhands.Whenwe’reinlongholdsordeepstretcheswesometimesunconsciouslytransfertightnessfromonepartofthebodytoanother.Noticeifyou’remakingfistswithyourhandsorclenchingyourjaw.Relax.Soften.Release.

Everytimeemotionspopupinourpracticeitmeansthatyourbodyisreleasingemotionaltensionthat’sbeenstuckincertainbodyparts.It’sabsolutelynaturaltocryonyouryogamat—Idoitallthetime!Ouryogamatisaplaceofsilencewherewewholeheartedlycangiveourselvesthetimeweneedtofeel,andit’snotuncommonforstrongemotionstosurface.Letitbe!Crywhenyouneedto.Allowthehearttoopenandyourbodytoletgo.Inhaletocreatespacewherespaceisneeded.Exhaleandreleaseanythingyoumighthavebeenholdingontothatisnolongerofuse.Keepbreathingthisway,andbeforeyouknowityou’vetakenyouryogapracticefromthebodyallthewayintoyourheart.Intheheart,righthere,iswheretruetransformationhappens.

VIPARITAKARANI/LEGS-UP-THE-WALLPOSE

Comeintoasidesquatwithyourouterhipfacingthewall.Sitdownandswingyourlegsupthewallandthenwiggleyourwayascloseasyoucantothewalluntilyoursitbonesconnecttoit.Ifyourhamstringsareverytight,youmightwanttokeepyourkneessoftlybent,orplaceafolded-upblanketbeneathyourlowerback.Letyourarmsrestdownbyyoursides,palmsup.Breathedeeply.

OPENLEGSOpenupyourlegstothesidesuntilyoufeelagoodstretchintheinnerthighs.Keepyourtoesactive.

THEBUTTERFLY

Bendyourkneesandbringthesolesofyourfeettogether.Allowyourheelstodrawclosertowardyoursitbonestodeepenthestretch.Ifyoulike,gentlypressthepalmsofyourhandstowardtheknees,bringingthemslightlyclosertothewall.

HIPOPENERComebacktostraightlegs.Bendtherightkneeandplacetherightankledirectlyabovetheleftknee.Flexthefoot.Gentlybendtheleftknee,allowingtheleftheeltoslideclosertotheleftsitbone.Pausewhereyoufeelastretchintherighthipandglute.Ifyoufeelyourtailboneliftingoffthefloor,softenthestretch,lengthenthetailbonedown,andrelaxthelowerback.

CHAPTER6

Loveoverfear

“I wanted to do something real, somethingsubstantial,somethingthatwasgoingtochangetheworld—Ijusthadn’tsatdowntofigureoutexactlywhatitwasyet.”

hroughoutthesepastyearsI’velearnedmanylessons.I’velearnedhowtocarefullybalancegivingwithreceiving.IknownowthatIcan’tteachtwenty-fourclassesaweekandstillstaysane.It’sjustnotpossible.I’ve

learnedtocareformybody.I’velearnedtoadaptmypracticetotheflowoflife.I’velearnedIcan’tsayyestoeverything.Sometimesthebestwaytogrowwhatyou’redoingandtostayalignedwithyourintentionsistosayno!I’velearnedthat miracles happen every day. You just have to keep your eyes open. I’velearnedhow toembracemypast andhow to take those lessonsand turn themintowisdom.I’velearnedalot,butmostofallI’velearnedthattolivealifethatmakesyourheartsing,youneedtoletgooffear.Weneedtoletgooffear—allofus,asawhole—andmovethewaylovewantsustomove.Ilovetotravel,butIcan’tdoitnonstop.I’vebeenmovingaroundmyentire

adult life, hopping from country to country and changing direction with thewind.As things started to speedup, I knew I had to alignmy intentionswithwhat itwasIwanted tocreate.This ishowlifeworks:Whenyou’reonaroll,you’reonaroll.Ifyoubelieveandexpectthingstocomeyourway,theywill,and sometimes we manifest things more quickly than we could ever haveimagined.That’swhyit’ssoimportanttositdownanddecidewhatitiswewant

to manifest in our lives before things start moving so quickly we no longercontrol thesteps thatwetake.I foundmyselfwithall theseblessings in life:abeautiful partner; a career that allows me to share my passion for yoga andhappylivingwiththeworld;andofcourse,acommunityofpeoplewhoareonthis path with me! I knew the following I had created was special; mymainintentionwasalwaystostayrealandtruetowhoIam,andtohelppeoplefindthesameloveforthemselvesattheircore.It’sallaboutlove.Forgiveness.Beingkind.Iwantedtodosomethingreal,somethingsubstantial,somethingthatwasgoingtochangetheworld—Ijusthadn’tsatdowntofigureoutexactlywhatitwasyet.FromtrialanderrorIknewthatinordertomakethishappenIhadtoletgoofmydeepestfears.SinceIstartedtoembracethispath,I’vehadtoovercomesomeseriousfears

ofmine.First,Iamscaredshitlessofpublicspeaking.Youmightnotbeabletoimaginethat,sinceIteachyogaforaliving(teachingisprettymuchspeakingtothepublic),butittookmealongtimetogetcomfortablespeakinginfrontofagroup.IusedtobesonervousIwasnauseatedbeforeeveryclass.OnabaddayI’dgoover inmyhead all the possible things that couldgowrong:What if Iforget thewords?What if I fall over?What if someone asksme a question Ican’t answer?What if they all laugh at me because I’m so terrible? I wouldalwayscomebacktothesamethought:Doyourbest.Whoisjudgingmehere,really? No one judges us harder than we do ourselves. The expectations andjudgmentsIwasfeelingallcamefromme.IntheendIwouldthink:Keepgoingforward.Don’tgoback.ThenIwouldstepintotheclassandsimplydowhatIhad to do, because if I decided then and there not to teach the one class thatscaredme themost, Iwouldn’thave learnedall the things Ineeded to learn. Ilook back at my first year of teaching and can see the importance of thosedifficultclasses.EverytimeIpushedthroughthefearoffailureandtaught theclass,ItookonestepuptheladderthathastakenmetowhereIamtoday.Weneed tokeepmovingup,up,up.The funny thing is,nooneeverevenknewIwasnervous!That’sthethingaboutteachingyoga;peoplearen’treallythereforyou. They’re there for themselves.All of us have our own path and our ownissues;mostofusspendsomuchtimeworryingaboutourselvesthatwerarelynoticewhat’sgoingonwithotherpeople.ThisishowIfinallyovercamemyfearofteaching;IknewthatifIfocusedonmynerves,Iwouldnevertrulyseethe

people infrontofme. If Igave thosepeople100percentofmyattention,asagood teacher always should, Iwouldn’t be able toworry abouthowmyvoicesoundedor ifmy sequencingwasgoodenough. I started to relaxandmy truevoice as a teacher came out.My teaching improved dramatically. There is nodifferencebetweenRachelBrathenthepersonandRachelBrathentheteacher—it’sallme.Andthisshowsinmyteaching.

Therearemanydifferentkindsofyogamatstochoosefrom.Pickonethatfitsyourlifestyle!Itravelalot,soIhaveasuper-thin,lightweightfoldablematthatItakeeverywhereIgoandathick,heavyyogamatathomethatalwaysstaysput.IfyouhavesensitivekneesIrecommendathickermatsoyouhavegoodsupportforyourjoints(andkeepablanketbyyourside!).Mostimportant,thematshouldbeagoodsizeforyouandyoushouldn’tslipwhenyoupractice.Ifyou’retall,youmightneedanextra-longmat,andifyouhavebroadshoulders,youmightneedawidermat.It’sbettertospendalittleextraonagoodqualitymatthantobuyacheapmatthat’llleaveyouslidingalloverthemomentyoustarttosweat(oneofthemostcommonposes,Downward-FacingDog,issupertrickyifyourhandsaresliding!).Thesedaysyoucanalsofindagreatselectionoforganicandrecycledmats.Aqualitymatwilllastyoualongtime,soagoodyogamatisagreatinvestment!

“Iwouldalwayscomebacktothesamethought:Doyourbest.”

Thereisatwisttoallofthis,ofcourse.Foreveryfearyoumovepast,thereisa bigger one lurking around the corner. I went from being nervous aboutteachingsmall,localclassesontheislandwhereIlivedtobeingnervousaboutteachingbigclassesacrosstheglobe.AsanewteacherinAruba,Iwatchedthesizeofmyclassesgrow, andeven though I gotmore andmore confident,mystomachwouldstillchurnifIwalkedintothestudioandthereweretwenty-fivepeople instead of the anticipated ten. After a while I was teaching so manyclassesinaweekitbecamemynewnormaltomovethroughanewfeareveryday.ClassesgrewandIovercamemyfearofteachingbiggroups.Well-knownteacherscametotheisland,whichmademenervous,ofcourse.WhatifI’mnotgoodenoughtoteachateacher?Icamebacktothatsimplephilosophyofmine,did my absolute best, and overcame that fear, too. We are all teachers andstudents, and whatever judgment we put on others is usually directed atourselves.

LOVINGINSIGHTSBalancegivingwithreceiving.

Miracleshappeneveryday!

Movepastyourfears.Ifitscaresyou,doit!

Feelingnervousisasignthatwhatyou’redoingisimportant.Feelingnervousmeansyou’rebreakingnewground.Useittoyouradvantage!

Findyourvoice.Whateveryou’redoing,lettherealyoushinethrough.Insteadofimitatingothers,figureoutwhatmakesyouuniqueandletthatbeatthecoreofyourwork.

Whenopportunitycomesknocking,openthedoor!Trustinyourownabilitytocreatemagic.

“Ifdoingsomethingnewdoesn’tscareyouatleastalittle,it’snotworthdoing.”

Ihavehadtoovercomemany,manyfearsalongtheway;foreverybignewthing therehasbeen this littlevoice inmyhead saying,This is scary .Weallhavethisinnercautionaryvoice,andsucceedingandevolvingisallabouthowwell we manage it. I started teaching at big events involving more than fivehundredpeopleatatime—thatwasscary.Istartedsharingmyclassesonline—thatwasscary.Itaughtatthebiggestyogafestivalintheworld—thatwasscary.I shot aDVD—thatwas scary.Reporters forbigmagazines interviewedme—thatwas scary. I flew across theworld formeetingswith powerful executivesaboutmy brand—thatwas scary. Iwas interviewed onTV—thatwas scary. Idemonstratedyogaonstagewith thekingandqueenofHollandon liveTVinfrontoftenthousandpeople.Thatwasscary!ImovedtoatinyislandjusttobewithamanI’dknownforonlyfivedays.Isaidyeswhenthatsameman,whoturnedouttobetheloveofmylife,askedmetomarryhim.Isignedthecontractforourveryfirsthouse.Istartedabusiness.Iwroteabook.Allofthesethingshave been the scariest andmost wonderful moments of my entire life. I saidgood-byetopeopleinmylifethatIneverinamillionyearsthoughtI’dhavetosaygood-byeto.Ifoundmyselffacedwithathousandscarymomentsthatinthebigschemeofthingsmakeupourlives,andIchoselove.Ichoselove.Thatisall.Andhere is one of the scariest things of all:welcoming all of the beautiful

soulswhohavemadeadecisiontocometakemyclassesthroughouttheyears.Beautiful,beautifulsouls,allshowingupwithopenhearts,justtolistentowhatIhavetosay.Justtoconnect.Topractice.Tomove.Tohug.Brave,strongsoulswhohaveallowedthemselvestobevulnerable,whohavewrittenme,calledme,orvisitedfromafar just tosayhello. Intimacyandvulnerabilityarebothscarythings toshow to theworld.Here’s the thing, though; ifdoingsomethingnewdoesn’tscareyouatleastalittle,it’snotworthdoing.Themarvelousmoments,thesituationswefindourselvesinthatmakeusgrowandevolveandexpandourhearts—allaregoingtobecoveredwithathinveiloffear.Wearesteppinginto

the unknown, and this means different things to all of us. Moving with loveinstead of fear takes courage, but on the other side of it lies liberation.Enlightenment. Joy. Happiness. Healing. Acceptance. Surrender. Gratitude.Magic.Freedom.Aperfectplacetopracticelettinggooffearisontheyogamat.Whatposes

scare you? For many it’s arm balances, advanced poses, and inverted poses,posesthatinvolveyourgoingupsidedown.Inversionscanbeterrifying;theyareagiant step into theunknownwhenwe first startpracticing themand literallyturn lifeasweknowitupsidedown.But theseposesaresoempowering; theycreateadeepsenseofaccomplishmentandconfidence.ThestrengthIhaveonthemat and the space I’ve created inmy body are the result of a lot of hardwork,butmostly...alotoflettinggo.Weholdsomuchemotioninthebody.Practicingyogaisreleasing—that’swhyit’ssodifficult!Notbecausewemoveindifferentwaysorinhaletoliftthisandexhaletolowerthat.It’sscratchingatthe surface of what you don’t want to see; it’s revealing all the fears andjudgmentsyouhaveburieddeepinsideyourself.It’sconnectingtowhat’sreallytrue.Andyes,alongthewaywemightpickupsomestrengthandflexibilityandhandstands and backbends and arm balances—all a bonus. But this is not thepurposeofourpractice,thereasonwekeepreturningtothemateverydamnday.AsImovedeeperanddeeperintomyowninversionpractice,Imovedeeperanddeeperintoself-love.AsIbuildthestrengthtobalancesteadilyonmyhands,Ibuildthestrengthtofacewhatevertheworldthrowsatme.AsIreleasetensionfrom the hips, shoulders, and hamstrings, I release fear, frustration, sadness.LittlebylittleIreleasetheneedtocontrol.AsIlearntosurrenderonthemat,Ilearntosurrendertothepresentmoment.Thisisthepractice.It’saccessibletoyou,toeveryone,righthere,rightnow—butyouhavetodothework.Nooneisgoingtodoitforyou.Don’tholdback.

UPSIDE-DOWNGRANOLAINAJAR

GRANOLA2tablespoonscoconutoil 1tablespoonmaplesyrup 90goats 40gshreddedcoconut 90gchoppedhazelnuts 55gsliveredalmonds 100gchoppeddriedfigs 95gchoppeddriedapricots ½teaspoonchiaseeds PinchHimalayansalt Pinchcinnamon

TOPPINGYogurt(Greek,Turkish,orvegancoconutyogurt!) Blueberries Raspberries Blackberries Rawhoney

Startbymakingthegranola.Preheattheovento180°C/gas4.Inasmallbowl,mixthecoconutoilandthemaplesyrupandsetaside.Inalargebowl,mixallthedryingredientstogetherwiththedriedfruitsandthenaddthecoconut/maplesyrupmix.Mixwell—useyourhandsifyoulike!Putthemixtureinanoven-safepanandbakeuntilyourentirekitchensmellsdelicious(oruntilthemixturehasturnedgolden).Letitcool.Putthegranolaatthebottomofakilnerjar,fillthejarwithyogurt,andaddamixofberries.Drizzle

honeyontopandenjoyheaveninajar!

CHOCOLATESHAKE,YOGA-GIRLSTYLE!1banana 3tablespoonsalmondbutter 2pitteddates 2tablespoonsrawcacaopowder HandfulofBrazilnuts 1teaspoonhempseed Almondmilk Fewsprigsofmint

Thissmoothieisagreatafternoonboost!Placealltheingredientsinahigh-speedblenderandaddjustenoughalmondmilktogettheblendergoingandenoughicetomakesurethetextureresemblesachocolatemilkshake.Garnishwithhempseedandmintleaves.

Youcanputprettymuchanythinginyourgranola;differentkindsofseeds,nuts,anddriedfruits.Orwhynotaddpiecesofdarkchocolateafterthemixturehascooled?

“Youhavetodothework.Nooneisgoingtodoitforyou.Don’tholdback.”

There are still things that scare me, of course, but I’ve made it a rule:WheneverIfeelthatflutteroffearatthepitofmystomach,Ihavetodoit.Ifthethought of itmakesme nervous, I have to say yes. This is how I continue togrowasateacher,asastudent,andasahumanbeing.Theideaofwritingabookusedtofeeldaunting,butjustlookatmenow.Igetapproachedregularlyaboutlectures, and up until very recently this was something that made my palmssweatjustfromthinkingaboutit.Publicspeaking?Me?Never!Thethingaboutlife is,yougetwhatyouneed.Notwhatyouwant.Andeverythinghappensattherighttime.AsIfinishedwritingthischapter,Igotacallfromaninspirationalevent management company asking me to lecture in front of an audience ofsevenhundredpeopleaboutthebookandmylifeasatravelingyogainstructor.Iimmediatelysaidno—noway.I teachyoga,Idon’tlecture,Isaid.It’sjustnotforme.Ihungupthephonefeelingabitqueasyfromthemereidea,andturnedback tomycomputer.The first thingmyeye caughtwas the title of this verychapter: Love over fear. Love. Over. Fear. I’d just written an entire chapterabout moving past your fears, and here I was, turning down opportunitiesbecauseIwasscared?IknewwhatIhadtodo.Icalledthecompanybackandaccepted.Isaidyes.Ichoselove.

InversionsandHandstands

Yoga is never ending—that’s why it’s called a practice.When youfeelreadytotakeyourphysicalpracticetothenextlevel,youcanstartto move toward more advanced poses such as arm balances andinversions—ifyoufeeldrawntothem!Advancedposesthatrequireustostayupsidedownorbalanceon

our hands are not the purpose of our yoga practice, although thesetypes of poses are becoming increasingly popular. Handstands andother inversions help you to build strength and balance, but it’simportant to remember that the poses themselves are not the reasonwe step on the mat over and over again. We are here to cultivatepeace.Focus.Calm.Advanced poses can help you get there (finding peace while

inverted is deeply rewarding), but make sure you don’t becomefrustrated when these poses don’t happen for you right away.Continuetakingdeepbreathsandknowthatweallbeginfromwhereweare.Thesearedifficultposes,andwhiletheymaycomeeasilyforsome,most people need years of practice to become comfortable inthem.Trytoenjoythejourneywithoutbecomingtooattachedtotheresult!Learninghowtohandstandwasabigmomentforme.Itwasn’tjust

exciting and challenging, but it also helped me build a lot of corestrength, which in turn supported my troublesome lower back.HandstandsalsogavemegreatconfidenceandafeelingofIcan!Thekeytofindingbalanceupsidedownliesintrustinginyourownabilityandbelievinginyourself.Findyourcenter.Chooseloveoverfearandgiveitatry!

SALAMBASIRSASANA/SUPPORTEDHEADSTAND

1.Ifyouarenewtoheadstands,practicethemagainstthewall!Cometoyourkneesonthemat.Beginbycheckingthespacebetweenyourelbowssothattheylineupwithyourshoulders(youwanttobeabletowrapyourfingersaroundtheedgesofyourelbows).Acommonmistakeismovingtheelbowsouttothesides,creatingaspacethat’stoowideinbetween.Ifyoudothis,youlosetheframeoftheupperbodythatsupportsyouinthisheadstand!Measuretheproperspace,thenkeeptheelbowswheretheyare.

2.Interlacethefingersandtuckthelastpinkiefingerinsoyouhaveasteadybase.Presstheforearmsdownandthenplacetheverycenterofthecrownoftheheaddown,lettingthehandsjustbarelyconnecttothebackofyourheadforsupport.

3.Tuckyourtoesunderandliftyourkneesoffthefloor.Thisissteponeofourpreparationforheadstand,soifyou’rejustbeginningtolearnthisposeIsuggestyoustayhere.Presstheforearmstothemat,drawtheshouldersofftheneck,andbroadentheupperback.Starttoslowlywalkyourfeetintowardyourelbows.

4.Trykeepingaslittlepressureonthecrownofyourheadaspossible.Usethestrengthoftheshouldersandthecorehere;don’tcollapseyourweightonthecrownofyourhead!Keepthenecklongandwalkyourfeetascloseintowardtheelbowsasyoucan,untilyourhipsstackontopofyourshoulders.Nowyou’rehalfwaytoheadstand!Thereisnokickingorflingingthelegsinvolvedhere,butkeepshiftingyourweightforwarduntilyoufeelthefeetgettinglighter.

5.Now,liftonefootoffthefloor,pullingthekneeintowardthechest.Bringthefootbackdown,andtrytheotherside.Workonshiftingfromlefttoright,andwithalittlebitofpracticeyou’llsoonfindthebalancetoliftbothfeetoffthemat.

6.Keepthekneesintowardyourchestforawhile,connectingtothebreath.

7.Whenyou’reready,startextendingbothlegsstraightuptowardthesky.Grounddownthroughtheforearms,drawtheribsinward,engagetheinnerthighs,andworkonsendingenergyallthewaytothetipsofthetoes.Lengthenthetailbonetowardtheheels,activateyourcore,andbreathedeeply.

8.Makeyourwaydownthesamewayyoucameup,onestepatatime.RestinChild’sPose(seehere)withthearmsstretchedoutinfrontofyouforasmanybreathsasyouspentupsidedown.

Ifyou’reunsureofwheretheexactcenterpointofthecrownofyourheadis,placethebaseofyourpalminbetweentheeyebrows.Wherethemiddlefingerreachesthetopoftheheadisusuallytheverycenter!Youcanalsotrybalancingablockorabookonthetopofyourheadwhilekeepingyourspinelong.Theplacewheretheblockstaysinbalancewithoutfallingisyourcenterpoint.Makesureyoufindthecorrectplacementoftheheadinheadstandtoavoidunnecessarycompressionoftheneck.

PINCHAMAYURASANA/FOREARMSTAND

1.BegininDolphinPose.ThisisjustlikeDownward-FacingDog,butwiththeforearmsonthefloor.Measurethespacebetweentheelbowsthesamewayyoudidforthesupportedheadstand.Drawtheshoulderbladesdown,keepthenecklong,andstarttowalkthefeetintowardtheelbows.

2.Whenyoufeellikeyoucan’twalkthefeetanycloser,liftonelegoffthefloor.Keepthehipssquaredandgazeslightlyforward.

3.Cometotheballofthestandingfoot,bendtheknee,andkickupgently.Ifyou’reabeginner,dothisatthewall!Onlykickashighasyoucanwithouttherebeinganyfearoffallinginvolved,sogoeasyandstaypatient.Onceyougetthehipsabovetheshoulders,pullthelowerkneeintowardthechestandusethelegasleveragetofindyourbalance.Useyourfingertipsasbrakes!

4.Whenyou’vefoundyourbalanceandfeelsteady,bringbothlegsstraightuptowardthesky.Connectthetwobigtoes,engagetheinnerthighs,anddrawthelowerribsintoconnecttothetransverseabdominals.Keepcreatingspacefortheneckandsendenergytothetipsofthetoes.Whenyou’reready,comedownandrestinChild’sPose(here).

EKAPADAGALAVASANA/FLYINGPIGEONPOSE

1.Cometoastandingposition.Balancingontherightfoot,placetheleftankledirectlyabovetherightknee.Flextheleftfootandfoldforward,placingthehandsonthematshoulderdistanceapart.Youwanttheshinbonetopressagainstthebackoftherightarm,ashighasitgoes,andthenusetheleftfoottowraparoundtherighttriceps.Pressthetopsofthetoestothebackofthearmsoyoufeelalmostasifthefootisgluedtothearm;thisiswhatwillkeepyousteadywhenyoutakeoff!Liftthehipshighandstartshiftingsomeweightintothetipsofthefingers.

2.Letyourheartguideyouforwarduntilyoufeeltherightfootbecominglighterandlighter.Withtimeandpracticeyou’llbeabletofly!

3.Keepingbothhipssquared,engagethebackoftherightlegandstarttoextenditstraightupandbackbehindyou.Rotatetheinnerthightowardthesky,pressthethumbstothefloor,andkeepasteadygaze.

Whenitcomestohandbalancesandinversions,bepatientandfocusononestepatatime.Thefirststeptomasteringanadvancedpositionisdecidingtogiveitatry,butdon’trushtheprocess.Focusonthepath,notthedestination!Advancedposesarefunandchallenging,buttheyarenotthepurposeofourpractice.Focusonyourbreathandpausewhereveritfeelsrighttoyou.Mostarmbalancesandinversionsrequirelotsoftimeandpractice,solistentoyourbody,goeasy,andremembertocomerightbackupwithasmileeverytimeyoufall.

ADHOMUKHAVRKSASANA/HANDSTAND

BegininDownward-FacingDog.Takeastepforwardandliftonelegup.Youwanttheshoulderstoalignwiththewristsandthethumbspressingdownonthemat.Wrapthetricepsback,keepthehipssquared,andengagetheliftedleg.Gazeforwardandcometotheballofthestandingfoot.Bendthebottomkneeandkickupoffthefloor,bringingtheheeltowardthesitbone.Trythisacoupleoftimes,softkicksoffthefloorwithouttoomuchexpectationofwhatyourhandstandkicksshouldlooklike.Inthebeginning,focusonsimplyliftingthelegoffthefloor!Ifyou’reworriedaboutfallingover,useawall.Onceyoufindyourbalancewiththehipsstackedovertheshoulders,extendbothlegsstraightuptowardthesky.Pullthelowerbellyin;youwanttofeelyourcoreengaged!Thinkaboutdecreasingthespacebetweenthefloatingribsandthetwofrontalpointsofthehips.Activelypressthefloorawayfromyouandbreathe!

Ifyou’vebeenpracticingyourhandstandsforawhileandfeelcomfortablebalancingupsidedown,youcanstartworkingondifferentvariations.Trybendingyourkneesintoyourchest,orsplityourlegsopen!Breathedeeplyandsmile.

IMPORTANTTHINGSTOTHINKABOUTWHENWORKINGONYOURHANDSTAND:

•Shoulderslineupwithwrists•Spreadthefingerswide•Pressthethumbsandtheindexfingersdownproperly•Armsarestraight,butdon’tlocktheelbowsin!•Squaredhips•Toplegstraightandstrong—don’tbendthekneeoftheliftedleg•Shouldersawayfromtheears•Gazeforwardsoyouknowwhereyou’regoing!•Kickyourselfinthebutt(heeltositbone)tomakebalancingeasier

ADHOMUKHAVRKSASANA/HANDSTANDAGAINSTTHEWALL

1.BegininDownward-FacingDogfacingthewall.Takeabigstepforwardandliftoneleg,thesamewayasshownonhere.

2.Kickupandbringthelegstothewall,butonceyouhaveyourbalance,allowonlyoneheeltorestagainstitforsupport.Keeptheotherheelinlinewiththekneeandthekneeliningupwiththehips.Pullthelowerribsinandlengthenthetailbonetowardtheskysothatyouteachyourbodytheproperalignmentofthehandstandeventhoughyou’reusingthewallforsupport.Trybouncingthesupportedheelawayfromthewallforasecondortwo,playingaroundwithyourbalance.Switchheelsandtryagain!Neverletbothheelsrestagainstthewall;thiswillmakeyoucollapsefromtheribs,creatingabigdipinthelowerback.Usethewallforsupportinthebeginning,butdon’trelyonit!Gettothemiddleoftheroomassoonasyoufeelmorestable.

Engageyourcore.Keepthepelvisneutral.Trynottoarchtheback.

Trytogetawayfromthewallbyusingthesetips.Whenyoustartkickinguptohandstand,beverypatientandlistentoyourbody.YouwillmostlikelynotkickveryhighinthebeginningasyouwanttoavoidfallingoverorflippingintoWheelPose(thisisaconscioustransition,notanappropriatewaytofallout!).Whenwefallover,wetwistfromthecenterofthebody,cartwheelingoutoftheposetolandonourfeet.Withtimeandpractice,youwillbeabletokickuphigherwithmorecontrol.Whenyourhipsstartaligningabovetheshoulders,you’llexperienceyourfirstmomentsofbalancingupsidedown.Learninghandstandrequiresworkingonbothalignmentandtechnique,aswellasbuildingstrength.Itcanbequitealongprocess,somakesureyouenjoyyourselfandhavefunalongtheway!

BAKASANA/CROWPOSE

1.Comeintoasquattingposition.Placethepalmsofthehandsshoulderdistanceonthefloor,liftthehipsuphigh,andbringthekneesashighupthebackofthearmsasyoucan,towardthearmpits.Roundtheupperbackslightly,gazeforward,andlettheheartfollowthegaze.Lookingforwardwillhelpkeepyoufromfallingover!Keepthetoesonthematandstartshiftingmoreandmoreweightforward.Whenthetoesstartfeelinglight,bringoneheelintowardthesitbone.

BEGINNERVARIATIONPlaceyourfeetonablocktogetthehipstolifthigher,usinggravitytoyouradvantage.

2.Whenyoufeelreadyfortakeoff,liftbothfeetoffthefloorandbringtheheelsintowardthesitbones.Keepthetwobigtoestogether,engageyourcore,andrelaxtheneck.Workyourwaytowardstraightarms(alsocalledCranePose)ifyoulike,usingyourcorestrengthtohuginandliftup,pressingdownthrough

(alsocalledCranePose)ifyoulike,usingyourcorestrengthtohuginandliftup,pressingdownthroughthepalmsofthehandstostraightenthearmsslowly.

BEGINNERVARIATIONIfyou’reabeginner,trythissofter,moreaccessiblevariation.Beginwiththeelbowsbentandletthekneescomeontopoftheelbows.Thinkaboutcreatingalittle“tabletop”withthebackofthearmssothekneeshavesomethingtoreston.Makeyourselfsmall,bendtheelbows,connectthebigtoes,andbreathe.

Sitdownandcloseyoureyes.Youmightbesittinginyourofficechairoryourfavoritearmchairathome.Noticethesoundsyouhear,thesensations,thesmells.Focusontheflowofyourbreath.Feelyourfeetontheground,thechairbeneathyou,theclothesonyourskin,thebeatingofyourheart.Rightnow,inthismoment,readingthesewords—youareokay.You.Are.Okay.

CHAPTER7

Momentsofsilence

“Wemustloveourselvesinordertoreceivelovefromothers.”

heonly thing thatmatters ishowmuchyou love. In theend itdoesn’tmatterwhat your body looks like, how successful your career is, howbig your house is, how advanced your yoga practice is, or what your

bankstatementsays.Letmerepeatthis:Theonlythingthatmattersishowmuchyoulove.Yourpurposeonthisearthistolove.Andloveisatwo-waystreet.Wegive,

weget.Withlovewewillturnthiscrazyworldaround.Withlove,wewillturnwar into peace. Judgment into acceptance. Evil into kindness. You have theability tochange theworld,and itall startswith thesmallacts thatmakeupadayinyourlife.Thekeytofindingtrueeverlastinghappinessliesinthis.Whatyougive,youget.Toreceivelovewemustfirst learnhowtogiveitaway.Tothepeopleclosesttous,toourfamilyandfriends,andtopeoplewedon’tknow.Toacquaintancesandpeopleyoubumpintoonthebus.Tothepeopleyoulikeandthoseyoudon’t.Totheearthwewalkuponandallofthebeautifulbeingsthatwalkalongsideus.Andmostofall,toourselves.Wemustloveourselvesinordertoreceivelovefromothers.Soareyouhappy tobehere?Areyougrateful?Ordoyoufeelsadnessand

regret? You may not feel powerful enough to single-handedly stop a war orworldhungerortheinjusticesthat takeplacearounduseveryday,butyouareresponsibleforyourownspaceandyoucanchangeyourownvibration.Itstartswithyou,withme,withusasindividuals.Ifeverysinglepersondirectedhisor

herawarenesstowardloveandtrustatthisverymoment,whatwouldbelefttofix?Wedonothurtotherpeopleifwefeeltheinfinitelovepresentinsideus.Weareallconnected.Nomatterwhereyouarefrom,whatyourbeliefsare,orwhatyoulooklike,weareallinthistogether.We all breathe the same air. We are all made up of the same complex

combinationofmolecules.Weallsharethesamebigboldbeatingheart.We’vejust forgotten it along the way. By giving more love, by becomingcompassionate and kind, by forgiving, and by seeing the light in each person,youwillstarttoremember,andfromthereyoucansingle-handedlychangetheworld.Youcan.Youdoyou,andletmedome.Wecanonlydoourbest,andwhenitcomestolove,doingourbestisalwaysenough.Wearepowerfulbeings.Sometimeswemightfeelasifwearethevictimof

ourenvironment,butthefactis,wecreatetheworldwelivein.Thepeopleweencounteronourpatharenottherebychance,butbecausewebroughtthemtoourlife.Theexperienceswehaveandthesituationswefaceareherebecauseweeach made it so. You are a powerful person with the possibility to manifestanythingyoulike,butmostofusdothisunconsciously.Dependingonwhatyoufocusyour thoughtsandenergyon,yoursituationwillchangeforbetteror forworse.Whatdoesyour life look like rightnow?Areyouatpeaceandcontentwithwhereyouare?Areyoumanifestingalifeoflove?Orareyoumanifestinga lifeof fear?Bybecomingawareofour thoughtsand realizing thepowerwehaveoveroursituation,wecanstarttomanifestgoodinsteadofbad.Focusonwhatyouwanttocreateinsteadofwhatyoulack.It’sverylogical:Ifyouthinknegative thoughts(Iamnotgoodenough/Idon’thaveenough/Iamunhappy),you will have a negative outlook on life and will thus attract more negativeexperiencesintoyourspace.It’saviciouscycle,andweallneedtostopitrightaway.

LOVINGINSIGHTSTheonlythingthatmattersishowmuchyoulove.

Doyourbest.Itwillalwaysbeenough.

Youarenotavictimofyoursurroundings.Youareapowerfulbeingwithachoice!

Wemustgiveinordertoreceive.

Cultivatemindfulness.Beingpresentinyourlifeandbeinggratefulforwhatyoualreadyhavewillattractmorepositivethingsintoyourlife,andintheendyou’llhavemoreandmorethingstobegratefulfor.It’sanever-endingpositivecycle.

Nomatterwhereyouareinlife,youwillalwaysbeokay.

Theonlythingwecantrulyknowforsureisthatthingswillchange.Staypresentinwhatyouhaveandlearntomovewiththehighsandlowsoflife.

Allowyourselftofeel.

Lovewhatis.Don’tjudge.Don’tlabel.Love.Justlove.

“Ifyouwantlove,love.Ifyouwantforgiveness,forgive.”

Beginfromwhereyouare.Thereisbeautyallaroundinthislife.Connecttoit.Bepositiveandgratefulfor theblessingsyouhave.Behere.Don’tdwell inthe past. Stop thinking in terms of “should have,” “could have,” or “itwouldhavebeenbetterif.”Youarewhereyouare!Youcannotchangewhatwasinthepast.Whyfocusonsomethingyoucannotpossiblydoanythingabout?Whatyoucando,however,ischangeyourpresent.It’shere,whereyouare.

This is it. Life is now. Change your life by being compassionate, by stayingpositive,byforgiving,byfocusingonloveandlightandspaceandgratitudeandabundanceandhappiness.Whatyoudirectyourenergytoward,youattractmoreof.Meditate on the magical, breathtaking beauty of the world, and soon thatmagicwillbepartofyoureverydaylife.Lifeisshort!Whatpreciselyisitthatyouwanttocreateinyourlife?Takea

moment to write it down. All the things you want for yourself, you must bereadytogivetoothers.Ifyouwantlove,love.Ifyouwantforgiveness,forgive.Ifyouwantacceptance,accept.Ifyouwantkindness,bekind.Itallstartsfromhere.Byactingwithandsendingoutlove,youwillbeattunedtothesamelovingfrequencythatyouneedtoattracttoyourself.Itisanabsolutetruththatwemustgive in order to receive.Andwemust knowandbe clear aboutwhat it iswewouldlikeourlivestolooklike.Ourlivestendtogetsobusy,wespendmostofourtimesimplycatchingup

withwhat’shappeningaroundus,andweforgetthatwearethecreatorsofourownuniverse.Lifehappensforus,not tous.This issomethingmeditationhastaughtme.Byquietingthemindandcenteringourselves,wegetachancetostepawayfromthejudgmentsandlabelsofthemindandmovedeeperintothetruthsofourhearts.Ifwetakeeverysinglethingourmindtellsusseriously,we’llendupneuroticandanxious.Themindtendstobenegativeandalwaysfindsflawsinourpresentsituation.Bymovingawayfromthemindwecancomeback toanotheruniversaltruththatspeaksforusall:Everythingisokayjustthewayitis.Evenwhenthingsarenot.

HERBALTEAFreshmint Freshsage Freshlemonbalm

Useafewsprigsofmint,sage,andlemonbalm,equalamountsofeach.Teartheleavesupsothatthearomaisreleasedandputtheminabigcup.Addhotwater—done!

Ifyou’dratherhaveicedtea,letitsteepforawhileandthencool.Addadashofmaplesyrupandiceandenjoyonahotday!

DIRTYHOTCHOCOLATE350mlalmondmilk 1tablespoonmaplesyrup 2tablespoonsrawcacaopowder 1teaspoonmacapowder ½teaspooncinnamon 1tablespooninstantcoffee(optional)

Slowlyheatupthealmondmilk—neverletitboil!Pourinthemaplesyrup.Addallofthedryingredientsandstirwell.Drinkwarm.

MacacontainsvitaminsB,C,andE.Ithelpstoregulateourhormonelevelsandcanactuallystabilizeourmood!Perfectforthatcertaintimeofthemonthorwhenyouneedaboost.

“Theonlythingweknowforsureisthatthingswillalwayschange.”

Whereareyourightnow?Focusonwhat’shappeninginsideyourselfrightatthismoment.Yourlifeiswhereyouare.Noticeyoursurroundings.Sayyou’resitting in your office chair. Notice the sounds you hear, the sensations, thesmells.Focusontheflowofyourbreath.Feelyourfeetontheground,thechairbeneathyou,theclothesonyourskin,thebeatingofyourheart.Rightnow,inthismoment,readingthesewords,youareokay.You.Are.Okay.Everythingisfine.It’snotuntilwelistentothefearfulthoughtsthatpassthroughourmindsthat

welosethefeelingofbeingcaredfor.Themindwillalwaystellyousomethingcouldbebetter.Themindwillfocusonalloftheworst-casescenarios,thinkingthis will protect you. But when we don’t control what goes on inside of ourheads,whatweneedprotectionfromisthemind.Meditateandkeepmeditatinguntilyouhave fullyembraced thismost important truth:Nomatterwhereyouareinlife,youwillalwaysbeokay.AndI’mnotjusttalkingaboutthemomentswherethingsaregoingsmoothly,

whenyou’reonahighandthingsaregoingyourway.I’mtalkingaboutwhenthey’renot.Therewillbetimesinyourlifewhenyouwillcometodoubtallofthese things. Death, disease, divorce, separation, pain—all of these things areinevitable.Atsomepoint,whetheryoulikeitornot,youwillexperiencemost,ifnot all of them. And I’m not telling you to pretend bad things don’t happen,becausetheydo.Andtheyalwayswill.Theonlythingweknowforsureisthatthingswillalwayschange.Nothingispermanent.Andwhenwefindourselvesinthemiddleoftrauma,inthemiddleofcrisis,evenwhenyou’vehitrockbottomandyouhaveno ideahowonearthyou’llever find thecourage toclimbbackup,youarestillokay.Youareokay.Lookaroundyouinthatmoment,too.What’sgoingonrightatthatminute?

You can still feel your heart beating inside of your chest. Fundamentally,nothing has changed except the story you’re telling yourself. Our feelingschangelikethewind,andwhenwetellourselvesastorywelabelgood,wetend

tobehappy.Wefeelgood.Andwhenwetellourselvesastorywelabelbad,wetendtobesad.Wedon’tfeelgoodanymore.You might be sitting in that same office chair and the only thing that has

changedisyourperceptionofwhathascomeyourway.I’mnotsayingyourpaindoesn’tmatter,because itdoes.Weneedpain to teachuswhat itmeans tobealive.Weneedtogetthewindknockedoutofussothatwecanfullyappreciatethetasteofair.Feelit.Feelitall.Butdon’tevergiveup.Youarestillhere.Yourheartisstillbeating.Youareokay.Learntoappreciatethetwistsandturnsoflife,andyoureyeswillopentothe

magicalpossibilitiesofthepathyou’reon.Lookaroundyou.It’swhereyouarenow, this exact place, thatmatters.Notwhere youwere yesterday.Notwhereyou’llbetomorrow.It’swhereyouarenow.Andifyouhappentofindyourselfataparticularlybumpypartoftheroad?Embraceit.Evenindarkness,thereislight. If things didn’t get a little darker once in awhile, howwould you everknowwhat thebeautyofbright,shininglightreallymeans?Without the twistsandturnsyouwon’tvaluethesmoothrideahead.Don’tjudgeyourlifeasgoodorbad.Lovewhatis.Andknowthis—thatbumpyroadyou’reon?I’monittoo.Weallwalkdownthesamepath,andourdestinationisthesame.Youarenotalone.

Meditation

Startingupameditationpracticecanbemoredauntingthanbeginningaphysicalyogapractice. Ifyou’vebeenpracticingyogaforawhileyoumightknowthatyogahaseightlimbs.Asanaisoneofthem,Dhyana(Sanskritformeditation)isanother. Asana, or what we in the Western world call yoga, is createdspecificallyforourbusymindsandbodies.Bymovingtogetherwiththebreath,bysweatingandfocusingandworkinghardtomoveintodifferentposes,weareforcedtostayinthepresentmoment.Whilepracticinganadvancedarmbalance,forinstance,youwon’tfinditthat

difficulttostaypresentinthehereandnow;youhaveto,oryou’llfallonyourface!Meditation—sitting down in stillness, closing your eyes, and spending afew minutes with no company other than yourself—can sound absolutelyterrifying because it’s so different from thewaywe live.Our lives are full ofsoundsandnoiseandbusiness.Werarelygetmomentsofabsolutesilence.InthischapterI’dliketofocusonsomethingthat’sveryimportantinmyown

yogapractice:meditation.Actually,thephysicalpracticeofAsanawasinventedthousandsofyearsagoasaway toprepare thebodyformeditation.Haveyouevertriedsittinginstillnessforanentirehour?It’smorephysicallydemandingthanyoumight think!Ifyourbodyisstiff,yourhipsandlowerbackwillstartbotheringyoufairlyquickly.Thephysicalpracticewillkeepyourbodysoftandspaciousenoughtositinstillnesswithoutdiscomfortordistraction.Theyogaposeisnotthegoal.Becomingflexibleisnotthegoal.Standingon

yourhandsisnotthegoal.Thegoalisserenity.Balance.Trulyfindingpeaceinyourownskin.Themeditationexerciseonthenextpageisanythingbutdaunting.It’ssimple

and requires only fiveminutes of your time. Formeditation, as for yoga, youneed to practice. Do you remember how difficult your very first Downward-FacingDogwas?Yourfirstvinyasa?Samethinggoesforsitting insilence. In

the beginning it’s hard, but the more you practice, the easier it will be. Ameditation practice can change your life beyond the realm of the body.Meditation helps you create space between you and your circumstances.Meditation inspires calm. Focus. Wisdom. You won’t know where yourmeditation practice is going to take you before you start. The key is to beconsistent. Start by meditating for five minutes a day, either right when youwakeuporrightbeforeyougotobed.Afteramonthofpractice,increaseyourmeditation time to tenminutes, then fifteen.Aim to get to twentyminutes ofmeditationdaily.Itwillmakeadifferenceinyourlife!

Findaquietplace tositwithnodisturbances.Placeasmallpillowora foldedblanketbeneathyour sit bones;youwill bemost comfortable sittingwhen thecreases of your hips are slightly higher than your knees. Set a timer for fiveminutes;havingasettimeframehelpsyourmindsettle.Letyourhandsrestonyourknees,palmsdown.Lengthenyourspineanddrawtheshouldersdownyourback.Nowcloseyoureyes.Focus on the natural pace of your breath. Notice the gentle expansion and

contractionof the lowbelly.Feel the flowofair throughyournostrilsand thesubtlechangesofthebodywitheverybreath.Startdirectingyourawarenesstothesmallspaceyouhavebetweenthetwosidesofthebreath;thepausebetweenthe inhaleand theexhale,and thegapbetween theexhaleand the inhale.Stayvery,verypresentwithyourbreath.Whenthoughtsarise,don’tjudgeorresist.Don’t try to chase them.Watch your thoughts pass. See if you can, throughconsciousawarenessof thebreath,createmorespaceinbetweeneachthought.Stayhere.Breathe.Bepresent.Whenyourfiveminutesareup,bringyourhandstogether at the center of your heart and extend gratitude to everyone andeverythingyouhavetobegratefulforinlife.Repeattoyourselftheholiestofallmantras:thankyou,thankyou,thankyou.Turnthecornersofyourmouthintoasmileandopenyoureyes.Set aside time every day to do this! Gradually increase the time you sit in

silenceuntil you’re comfortablemeditating for twentyminutes eachday.Giveyourself thesemoments of peace.Of calm.Of love.Trust that you are on therightpathandthatlifewilltakeyouexactlywhereyouneedtobe.Practiceyoga.Meditate.Eatwell.Bekind toyourself!Yourbody,mind,andsoulwill thankyou.

Acknowledgments

hisbookwaswrittenduringayearfullofhighhighsandlowlows,andif it wasn’t for the following people, you wouldn’t be holding thisbeautifulcollectionof thoughtsand inspiration inyourhands today!A

bigthank-youto:MalinEklund,HannahWidell,andAmandaSchulmanatPerfectDayMedia

forbelieving inmefromdayoneandconvincingme to turn thedreamof thisbookintoareality.Thankyoutomybookagent,PhilipSane,whomadesureweendedupingoodhands,andtoAlexandraLidén,ÅsaKarsberg,andKaiRistiläfromBonnierFaktaforamazingpatienceandhardwork.Writingabookwhiletravelingisnoteasy,andcountlesshoursofmeetings,e-mails,andphonecallswiththem,fromallcornersoftheworld,resultedinthesepagesoflove.Thankyou tomy good friend JoyceHusken for givingme a handwith cooking andrecipes.Ahuge thank-you tomy friendand teacherAlexisMartin forhelpingme perfect the yoga section of the book, and to Ben Kane for our beautifulphotos.Iwanttothankmyparentsforgivingmethecouragetogomyownwayand

foralwaysbelievinginmydreamsnomatterhowcrazytheymighthaveseemed.Thankyoutomyteachersandstudentsforeverythingyoudoformeeverydayandtomyfollowersallacrosstheglobeforcontinuouslyinspiringmetodomyverybest.Lastbutneverleast,thankyou,Dennis,foreverythingyoudoeachday.For

pushingmetocontinuewritingevenwhenIwaslackinginspiration,forcreatingspaceforme towork inpeace, for takingcareofeverything thatneeded tobetakencareofsothatIcouldwritewithoutdistractions.Iwrotethisbookmainlyin our kitchen at home in Aruba, at airports all over the world, during yogaretreats, in Brazil, in the United States, and even a little bit during our

honeymoon in Greece. If it wasn’t for your patience and calm, none of thiswouldhavebeenpossible.And thankyou,Pepper, forkeepingmyfeetwarmwhenIwassittingat the

computerathomeandformakingmepauseforwalksandcuddlesjustasoftenasneeded.Wemissyou.

YOGASEQUENCINGAdhoMukhaVrksasanaAgnistambhasanaArdhaMatsyendrasanaArdhaNavasana

BakasanaBalasanaBigToePose,RecliningBoatPoseBridgePoseButterfly

CamatkarasanaCamelPoseChaturangaDandasanaChild’sPoseCobraPosecoreexercise,eaglevariationCorpsePoseCrowPose

Dog,Downward-FacingDog,Upward-FacingDoublePigeonPoseDownward-FacingDog

EaglePose,seatedEaglePose,variationEkaPadaGalavasanaExtendedBigToePoseEyeoftheNeedle

ForearmStandFlyingPigeonPose

Garudasana,seated

GomukhasanaArms

HalfBoatPoseHandstandHandstandagainstthewallheartopener,supportedHeadstandhipopener

Legs,90-DegreeLegs-up-the-WallPoseleglifts,reclininglegstretch,reclining

Navasananeckstretch,seated

OpenLegs

PigeonPose,DoublePigeonPose,SeatedPigeonPose,FlyingPinchaMayurasanaPlankPose

SalambaSirsasanaSavasanaSetuBandhaSarvangasanashoulderstretch,seatedspinaltwist,supinespinaltwist,seatedSukhasanaSunSalutationASucirandhrasanaSuptaMatsyendrasanaSuptaPadangusthasanaSuryaNamaskarA

TreePose

Upward-FacingDogUrdhvaDhanurasanaUstrasanaUtthitaHastaPadangusthasana

VinyasaVinyasaforbeginnersViparitaKaraniVrksasana

WheelPose

WildThing

RECIPESAvocadoSoup,Raw

BananaIceCream,RawBigGreenSmoothie

CarrotandGingerSoupChocolateShake,Yoga-GirlStyle

DirtyHotChocolate

GreenJuiceGranola,Upside-DowninaJarGuacamole

HeavenlyHummusHerbalTeaHotChocolate,DirtyHummus,Heavenly

IceCream,RawBanana

RawAvocadoSoupRawBananaIceCreamRawVeganBountyBliss

Salad,SuperfoodShake,Chocolate,Yoga-GirlStyleSmoothie,BigGreenSoup,CarrotandGingerSoup,RawAvocadoSuperfoodSalad

Tea,Herbal

Upside-DownGranolainaJar

AbouttheAuthor

Rachel Brathen is a world-renowned yoga instructor who teaches workshops,leadsyogaretreats,andgiveslecturesaroundtheglobe.AnativeofSweden,shehasbeenpracticingyogasinceshewasayoungteen.

Aftergraduating fromschool she traveled toCostaRica, and itwas there thatshefoundthejoyofincorporatingyogaintohereverydaylife.Rachelisknownforherfree-spiritedclasses,aswellasforsharingpiecesofherlife,advice,anddailyinspirationwithheronlinecommunityofmorethanonemillionfollowers.ShecurrentlyresidesinArubawithherhusbandanddogs.FindheronInstagram@yoga_girl—oneofthelargestyogaaccountsinthe

world.

PhotoCredits

DennisSchoneveld:here,here,here,here(topleft,topright,bottomright),here,here,here,here,here,here(bottomright),here,here,here(bottomleft),here,here,here(bottomleftandright),here,here(topleft,topright,andbottomright),here,here,here,here(topandbottomleft),here,here,here,hereAliKaukas:here(bottomleft)AndreaGaviriaHincapie:hereJessicaTaylor:here(bottomright)LauraRuizMadrigal:here(bottomright)MattFricovsky:hereStepbackcollagefeaturesphotosbyBenKane,DennisSchoneveld,andAleaWarnerAllotherphotosbyBenKane.

yoga girl: finding happiness, cultivating balance and living with your heart wide open

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