working with difficult moments: behaviorally speaking
Post on 11-Feb-2016
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Working with Difficult Moments:
Behaviorally SpeakingJacqueline A-Tjak & Kelly Koerner
with a big thank you to Matthieu Villatte
Aim of this workshop
• Increase your sensitivity for non-verbal signals from your client• Experience the power of validation• Understand validation as a behavioral intervention• Understand difficult emotion (functional analysis)• Work with difficult emotion: informal exposure and emotion
regulation
Difficult moments can arise• When people have histories of continuous unpredictable responses to
their behavior (unsafe attachment, invalidating environments), they are easily overwhelmed by their emotions. The slightest signs of rejection or faults can function as signs of threat
• They can only regulate their emotions by drastic, toxic control efforts• To learn new ways of relating to their emotions they need a
predictable and controllable environment.
Prediction
&
Control
Setting up a context of prediction and control • A therapist who is sensitive to emotions and needs, that cannot be
expressed openly and fully (other-as-process)• A therapist who is willing to take responsibility for emotional
disregulation of the client (willingness and committed action)• A therapist who is transparent about her own feelings,thoughts and
needs (self-as-process)• A therapist who asks for permission
Setting up a context of prediction and control • A therapist who is accepting, defused, present, committed• A therapist who validates the perspective of the client
What’s hard for me right now…
Mindfulnesspurposeful attention
without judgment to the present moment
What is happening right now?
Can I be with this?
whiff of not enough
mental anguish
when what we touch, see, hear, contact
habits of:aversion/craving
fix it so feel better
gives rise to pain
Outside skin
Inside skin
give rise to suffering
habits of:aversion/craving
fix it so feel better“movie of me”
Outside skin
Inside skin
During difficult moments…
What is happening right now?
Can I be with this?
C
T
T attends to patterns of regulating threat and their unintended consequences,
focusing on acceptance
Radiating warmth, ‘we just find ourselves here,
it’s not your fault” stance
As C becomes more flexible again, T attends to assessing and moving toward change
C
T
Validation behaviorally speaking• To affirm the coherence of the story (network) of the other person• = other-as-context: seeing the perspective of the cliënt• = acceptance: accepting the perspective of the cliënt as valid• = defusion from your own story as ‘more true’.• = defusion from being right• Creates a context to open up to new information
I. The bigger picture: shedding new light• NOW, we add new information to the network:• = function: how does it work, short term-long term• = asking for the history: have you had that thought before?• = disconfirming experiences in the past• = metaphor• = socratic dialogue
II. Labeling• Calling a spade a spade• = naming, categorizing: this is fear, this is a thought• = creating a hierarchical relationship between this emotion and all
emotions• Calling your own spade a spade• = modelling• = creating a safe, accepting, defused context• = creating other/self-as-context
III. Alternative reaction• Bringing attention to the bodily felt sensation (from fusion with there-
and-then to here-and-now)• Asking questions about alternatives, for instance valued behavior:
what could you do while you have this thought or emotion?
IV. Harvesting• Is there a difference between how you felt before and after our
discussion? (help noticing that a transformation of stimulusfunctions took place)
More controlSelf acceptance
Overwhelming emotion
ValidationNew Light
First exercise• Have a therapist-client interaction• Client tells about a disturbing experience• Therapist tries to make the client see, that the client is seeing this the
wrong way• Observer: notice the non-verbal behavior of both client and therapist:
tone, volume, posture, pace, facial expression, gestures, tension.
Second exercise• Have a therapist-client interaction• Client tells about a disturbing experience• Observer: notice the non-verbal behavior• Therapist starts with validation• = It is logical that• = I understand that you• = If I were you, I would also ….• = It is as if ….. (metaphor)
AND• When clients opens up, therapist moves into ‘the bigger picture’,
‘labeling’, or ‘alternative reaction’• How could you know that it was the right time to move on to ‘adding
new information’?
Third exercise• Have a therapist-client interaction• Client tells about a disturbing experience• Therapist starts with validation• Now, therapist moves into ‘the bigger picture’, ‘labeling’, or
‘alternative reaction’• Lastly, the therapist harvests• Observer: notice the non-verbal behavior• How could you know that it was the right time to move on to
harvesting?
Informal Exposure
1. Validation evokes other emotions (emotions re-organize us)
2. Block/discourage experiential avoidance and maladaptive emotion regulation in-session
With invalidation, we learn…
Monitoring…attending…CHANGE
Emotion fires
Disrupts naturally organizing effect of emotion and information from
emotion
Expression elicits other’s
Discomfort, withdrawal,
attack, incomprehension
etc., etc., etc.
whiff of not enough
mental anguish
when what we touch, see, hear, contact
habits of:aversion/craving
fix it so feel better
gives rise to pain
Outside skin
Inside skin
give rise to suffering
Over time, we learn…
Monitoring…attending…CHANGE
Emotion fires
Anxious anticipation of
invalidation
Interrupt self and/or self-invalidate experience or expression (e.g., blunt,
postpone, mute, mask, avoid, numb, secondary emotion,
etc.)
Disrupts naturally organizing effect of emotion and information from emotion
Secondary Emotion fires
Chain Analysis (aka functional analysis)
Vulnerability factors Precipitating
Event(s)
Consequences
shame1. anger
emotions
vulnerabilitysadnessfear
2. self-contempt
“I” as contact with sensations from a particular location
You (or me) in a context
Sad
overwhelmed
calm
Disappointed
irritated
disturbed
relieved
New cue…voila! Changed organism
Shame
fear
ANGRYdisturbed
sad
New cue…voila! Changed organism
Shame
fear
Self-contempt despair
sad
mad
sad
“this isn’t helping…
Blends of emotions may fire and muddle the naturally adaptive action urges. Validate to establish new stimulus control.
• In context of overwhelmed vulnerability• Sadness, fear, shame, habitual response to threat
Practice: Validate to Differentiate Emotion
“This isn’t helping”Self-contempt/collapse
“This isn’t helping”Attack
Set up
• C: This isn’t helping (with either self-contempt or attack T)
• T: VIVIDLY validate fear, validate anger, validate sadness, whatever emotion is primary and adaptive. Watch to see what natural adaptive action urges arise
Example phrasing
Clients—any effective lines your therapists have said?
Gently block avoidance(CRB1) to shape flexibility (CRB2)
• Cue is sensation of overwhelm/vulnerability• Present cue• Gently block avoidance• Increase inhibitory learning (i.e., help client build new meaning
about the cue, learn cue can be tolerated, worked with, habitual avoidance isn’t needed)
Informal exposureUpgrades(1)____ T EXPLICITLY EXPOSES C TO EMOTION CUES in session (e.g., imaginal exposure, engaging in behaviors known to elicit unjustified emotions, role-play, eliciting new behavior, opposite action) (2)____ T BLOCKS ACTION TENDENCIES associated with C's problem emotions.a>___ T prevents C from engaging in emotional avoidance.b>___ T blocks C's tendency to escape/avoid when feeling afraid.c>___ T blocks C's tendency to hide or withdraw when feeling shame.d>___ T blocks C's tendency to repair or self-punish when feeling unjustified guilt.e>___ T blocks C's tendency to hostile and aggressive responses; f>___ T blocks active-passivity.(4)____ T ENHANCES C's SENSE OF CONTROL over adverse emotional situations.a>___ T designs exposure treatment collaboratively with C.b>___ T instructs C at that he/she has ultimate control over stimuli and can end exposure at any time.c>___ T gets C to collaborate in staying in emotional stimulus condition as long as possible.d>___ T helps C leave or escape situations voluntarily instead of automatically.
Example phrasing
• ‘So let me ask: As I acknowledge how overwhelming this is… What happens when I say that?’
• Uh huh, you notice… and you want to jump to ... So let’s together linger here for a moment. The reason is, I’m thinking you avoid being in this place, and you avoid it so consistently, and as a result it’s like it becomes intolerable when you feel overwhelmed– and we know how that leads to problems for you – so let’s slow down and practice just being here for a few moments. So if I really was disappointed, what would you feel? What do you notice? What goes through your mind? Etc.”
• T begins session as usually do• C: as you bring up first topic, you feel overwhelmed and begin
avoiding (free form)
• T: help C by blocking avoidance, increase learning in presence of cue
Practice: Gently block CRB1 to shape CRB2
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