what do you think of these?. walk across the room and say hello to 10 people in 10 different ways

What do you think of What do you think of these?these?

Walk across the room and say Walk across the room and say HELLO to 10 people in 10 HELLO to 10 people in 10

different ways.different ways.

SMALL TALKSMALL TALK

Do WE teach Do WE teach small talk?small talk?

• Small talk is more than just chitchat.Small talk is more than just chitchat.

-basic foundation to meaningful -basic foundation to meaningful conversationsconversations

•Master small talk and you’re ready to Master small talk and you’re ready to have meaningful conversations!have meaningful conversations!

Nobody is born with a Nobody is born with a gift to be a natural gift to be a natural

conversationalist. It is conversationalist. It is learnt and acquired.learnt and acquired.

Think of casual Think of casual conversations that take conversations that take place in your daily lifeplace in your daily life

•List the places where these conversations take place e.g. on your way to the market

•Show your list to another friend.

All these situations All these situations require small talk or offer require small talk or offer

opportunities to opportunities to BROADEN OUR BROADEN OUR

HORIZON.HORIZON.

People who excel at small People who excel at small talk are experts at making talk are experts at making

others feel included, valued others feel included, valued and comfortable.and comfortable.

HOW?HOW?

STEPS TO FOLLOWSTEPS TO FOLLOW

• #1 – Take the risk. Make the FIRST move.

• #2 – Assume the burden. Share the responsibility. Remember the names. Introduce to others

Talk is cheap…but very Talk is cheap…but very valuable. WHY?valuable. WHY?

• To humanize the relationship

• Think of the professions that may deal with small talk to stay in business.

Many of us lack adequate Many of us lack adequate conversation skills. Why?conversation skills. Why?

• Good advice from toddler years– Good things come to those who wait– Silence is golden– Wait to be properly introduced– Don’t talk to strangers

It’s over and done with! It’s over and done with! Let’s move on….Let’s move on….

• In safe situations, make it a point to talk to strangers

• Introduce yourself

• Silence is impolite

• Good things come to those who go get them!

#3- Have a list of icebreakers #3- Have a list of icebreakers ready at your fingertips ready at your fingertips

Let’s take a peek at some samplesLet’s take a peek at some samples

• What do you think of the movie?

• Tell me about your children?

• Tell me about the first car you ever bought?

• Who is the most famous person you’ve met?

• How are you able to tell that a melon is ripe?

#4- Observe body language#4- Observe body language

• Smile

• Make eye contact

• Remember the person’s name

• Use the person’s name in your greeting

• Act like a host, introduce others

• Do not shorten name without permission

OK, so we forget….then, what OK, so we forget….then, what next?next?

•Say this: “Excuse me, I’m not sure I got your name.”

#5 - Keep the #5 - Keep the conversation conversation going going• Use statements

– “ I was truly touched by that movie. How did you like it? Why?”

– “What a great conference! Tell me about the sessions you attended.”

– “You always wear such attractive clothes. What are your favourite stores?”

#6 - Digging Deeper#6 - Digging Deeper

• Construct open-ended questions– Describe for me…– Tell me about…– How did you…– What was that like for you?– What brought you to…?– Why?

Enhance in ActionEnhance in Action

• Instead of:– Are you married?– What do you do for

living?– Do you have children?– What’s your favourite

hobby?– How was your

weekend?

• We use:

Positive messages to Positive messages to speakerspeaker

• Lean forward

• Maintain eye contact

• Open up your arms and body

• Face your partner

• Nod and smile

Off-putting gestures WE should Off-putting gestures WE should never usenever use

• Pointing• Covering your mouth• Rubbing and fondling body parts• Fiddling with jewellery• Tapping a pen or pencil• Swinging your leg• Crossing arms around your chest• Putting hands on your hips• Glancing away from the person who is speaking

Verbal CuesVerbal Cues• “Tell me more. What was that like for you?”• “Hmm…, I see…”• “How interesting! What an accomplishment!”• “Along the same line, do you…?”• “That must have been tough/frustrating,..”• “What proof do you have of that?”• “That reminds me of…”• “ I’ve always wanted to ask you ..”

#7 - Speak no evil#7 - Speak no evil

• Avoid often-controversial topics – Stories of questionable taste– Gossip– Personal misfortune– How much things cost– Controversial subjects– Health (theirs and yours)

The Graceful ExitThe Graceful Exit

• “I need to go see the students.”

• “I want to go talk to the speaker.”

• “I want to get around and say hello to everyone at this party.”

FOCUS ON YOU.

5 WAYS TO FUEL A CONVERSATION5 WAYS TO FUEL A CONVERSATION

• Practise different ways of starting a conversation• Show curiosity and sincere interest in finding out

about others• Smile, make eye contact, offer a handshake and

go find the approachable person• Be able to speak about a variety of topics and

subjects• Be ready to ask open-ended questions to learn

more

GOLDEN RULES TO GOLDEN RULES TO FOLLOWFOLLOW

• Be the first to speak

• Remember names

• Have a handful of icebreakers ready

• Watch body language, be a good listener

• Maintain conversation-dig deeper

• Say good things- be positive

• Leave gracefully