vox voice (june 2016)

VOX VOICECopyright 2016

Measha VoxPublisher

Jeffrey ThomasEditor

VOLUME 1, ISSUE 2 JUNE 11, 2016

The Rushena FontaineHome For Mothers With-

out Meth, a Columbus, Ohiobased charity, released newstoday that their founder wasdiscovered last month with-out her immortal soul.

Ms. Fontaine's body, whichis still twitching and storm-ing about, was found bloatedand with dreadful make-up ina seldom entered room at thehome of local celebrity dragentrepreneur, Measha Vox.

Jacob Mustaine, the stillsingle charmer, who found the semi-corpse,stated, "We all hated going in that room be-cause an overwhelming dread always hit youin the face. Plus the stench."

Mrs. Vox, who has TWO husbands that livethere as well, told police she found a contractapparently signed by both God and Satan thatpermitted the devil to take her soul.

Apparently, according to Vox, “Satan hadbeen fiending for that bitch for some time.”

The Columbus Health Department issued an

advisory to residents to be on the alert for Ms.Fontaine's foaming, rotting mobile corpse,though they admit it may be hard to recognizeas she has many faces and most are difficultto look at.

Ms. Fontaine's life is pointless, but societygenerally honors even the lowliest of assholes.

So . . . in 1945, Ms. Fontaine found herselfbarefoot and pregnant with what would even-tually become her first in a series of mulattomiscarriages, Rushena Fontaine vowed to

swear off anything that mightharm her unborn devil child.Realizing that she neededhelp staying sober, she gath-ered other pregnant, drug-ad-dicted women together andfounded the RushenaFontaine Home For MothersWithout Meth.

Initially, the organization’smotto was "If I can't have it,you can't have it!" But afterseveral of the home's resi-dents mistook this to meanthat if Rushena couldn't have

a man, they weren't permitted to have any meneither. So the motto was dropped altogether.

There will be no services for the passing ofMs. Fontaine’s soul. Mrs. Vox asks that con-tributions and gifts be sent to Ms. Fontaine’sdear friend, drag legend Andria Michaels.

On the advice of attorneys, the House of Voxissued this disclaimer: “Anyone seeking com-pensation for the wrongs committed by the de-parted can go fuck themselves.”

— Diamond Hunter, Staff Reporter

Missing “entertainer” discovered with soul taken

Fontaine’s body-less grave at her namesake charity in redneck country

Two of the many vile faces