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Verbal Defense & InfluenceDFPS Basic Instructor Class

Jan 7 – 11, 2013

In Memorial

Acknowledgements

• Dr. George Thompson President• Mike Manley Vice President• Lee Fjelstad Vice President• Gary T. Klugiewicz PoliceOne / Vistelar Group• Tony Pinelle VDI Master Trainer • Peter Harrell Jr. VDI Master Trainer

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Klugiewicz Background

• Martial Artist• Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office• DAAT / POSC Program Developer• Calibre Press Street Survival Instructor• H&K / Team One Network• Verbal Judo / Verbal Defense & Influence• PoliceOne / CorrectionsOne

Harrell Background

• Senior Consultant Verbal Judo/Verbal Defense & Influence

• Organization and Development Specialist• Keynote Speaker• Actor• Father

VDI Class Formats

Verbal Judo Exposure

• Heard the term• Attended a conference presentation• Limited exposure in other classes• Attended a short orientation session• Took a one or two day class• Attended an Instructor class• Consider yourself an VJ Operator

Verbal Judo

Verbal Judo is a well established method of providing people with Tactical Communication skills.

Any situation has the potential for getting out of hand. Knowing how to “redirect a person’s behavior with words” is a person’s most important communication tool for keeping everyone safe.

Welcome• Registration• Welcome / Overview – Table Top Materials /

Name Tags• Build Binder / Manual Orientation• Participant Expectation Guidelines• Training Safety Rules• Videotaping Orientation / Instructor

Introduction• Attendee Background / Duties / Expectations• Assignments - Reading• Performance Testing Choices• Certificates

Instructor Roles & Responsibilities

• Registration• Welcome / Overview – Table Top Materials /

Name Tags• Build Binder / Manual Orientation• Participant Expectation Guidelines• Training Safety Rules• Videotaping Orientation / Instructor

Introduction• Attendee Background / Duties / Expectations• Assignments - Reading• Performance Testing Choices• Certificates

Student Expectation Guidelines

• Minimum of 90% Attendance with Make Up

• Open Mind / Positive Attitude• Compliance with Training Safety Rules• Contact Instructor if Late / Absent• Successful Completion of Practical

Exercises• At least 80% on All Written Tests• Complete and Turn In Final Evaluations

Teach to Learn

• When we listen with the intent to teach, we learn at a deeper level.

• When we teach, we gain new insight and our learning expands,

Stephen Covey

• Instructor One Voice – Stop Immediately

• Instructor Raised Hand – Finish your sentence but not the paragraph

• Student “STOP” Notification Statement –Use whenever you don’t understand what is being said by the instructor

• Use of electronic equipment

Classroom Management

How the Class will be Taught

1. Demonstration

2. Explanation

3. Repetition

4. Simulation

Changing Educational Paradigm

How People Learn

1. Hearing

2. Seeing

3. Doing

4. Experiencing

5. TeachingKaren Spencer,

Purposeful Teaching

Retaining Knowledge

Teach to Learn

• When we listen with the intent to teach, we learn at a deeper level.

• When we teach, we gain new insight and our learning expands,

Stephen Covey

1. 5% Lecture 2. 10% Reading 3. 20% Audiovisual 4. 30% Demonstration 5. 50% Group Discussion 6. 75% Learning by Doing 7. 90% Teaching Others

Adapted from David Sousa, How the Brain Learnsby Cynthia Furse, University of Utah

Learning Pyramid %

Goals of the Course

• PERSONAL SAFETY• Enhanced Professionalism• Decreased Citizen Complaints• Decreased Vicarious Liability• Lessen Stress • Court Power & Articulation• Increased Staff Morale

Program Format

• Self – Assessment

• Professionalism

• Communication Theory

• Tactics

Part One

SELF ASSESSMENT

Self - Assessment

Who are you?

Principles/Attributes

Five Universal Truths

1. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect.

2. All people want to be asked rather than being told to do something.

3. All people want to be told why they are being asked to do something.

4. All people want to be to be given options rather than threats.

5. All people want a second chance.

5DFPS Staff treat others:

1. ALWAYS TREAT OTHERS with dignity and respect.

2. ASK THEM, don’t tell them to do something.3. TELL THEM WHY they should do it.4. GIVE OPTIONS, not threats.5. GIVE THEM a second chance, if appropriate.

Regardless of differences, all people want;

1) To be treated with dignity & respect.

2) To be asked rather than told to do something.

3) To be told why they’re being asked to do something.

4) To be given options rather than threats.

5) To be given a 2nd chance.

ACTIVITY

Teach to Learn

Pick a partner and teach 5 UT Then discuss how it may improve the agency, and your life.

Part Two

PROFESSIONALISM

Good Decision Making?

• Why do you make such good decisions?

• Experience

• How do you get experience?

• Bad Decisions

Traits of a Professional

• High Visibility• Quick Decisions• Codified Body of Knowledge• Continuous Training• Adapt to Change• Ethical Standard of Conduct• Licensed; Badge A Symbol Of

Universal Greeting’s Purpose

Tactical 8 Step Concept

Universal Greeting

Universal Greeting Script

8.1 Good Morning,8.2 I’m Gary Klugiewicz, a consultant with Verbal Defense &

Influence.8.3 The reason I am here this morning is to introduce my

partner Peter Harrell Jr. who is He is currently a senior consultant for Verbal Defense & Influence He is an actor with 40 years experience Retired state employee Father/Spouse

8.6 One of Peter’s expectations for the class is to have the participants perform Tactical Communication Tactics with people they interact with at work, their clients, as well as their family, friends, and others.

Universal Greeting (a.)

• Morning Coffee• 8.1. Good Morning, _____________ • (Use customer service representatives name, if

known)• 8.2. My name is ________________. I am a

guest in Room 204.• 8.3. The reason that I am contacting you is that

its 4AM and wanted to get a cup a coffee. I noticed that there is no coffee machine in the room.

• 8.4. Is there somewhere in the hotel where I can get a cup of coffee?

Universal Greeting (b.)

• Information Gathering• I am … (Title / Name) from the … (List your

agency).• I am here to attend this Verbal Defense &

Influence Course. I have been asked to interview you.

• May I ask you name, title, current assignment, any personal information that you would like to disclose, and one of your expectations for the class?

Universal Greeting (c.)

• Partner Introduction to Class• Good Morning…• I am … (Title / Name) from the … (List your

agency).• The reason I am here this morning is to

introduce … Introduce your partner with name, rank, agency, position with other background and personal information as noted.

• Explain one of your partner’s expectations for the class

ACTIVITY

Using one of the introduction scripts, introduce your partner to group.

The Goal of

Professional Intervention

is toGenerate Voluntary Compliance,

CollaborationCooperation and

Overcoming A Natural Adversarial Relationship

Our Job

To Meet & Greet and O.N.A.R.

Overcome Natural Adversarial Relationship

Our Service To The Community

We Think For OthersAs They Might Think For Themselves

48-72 Hours Later.

Learn to stop

REACTING

and start

RESPONDING

to the ongoing situation.

Professionalism Concept

Tactical Cognitive Dissonance

TCD is a professional survival trait at allows you to leave your Personal Value System at home and utilize your Professional Value System at work creating an Alter Ego that will keep you and others safe.

Maintaining Emotional Equilibrium

Dis / interest

Non Bias

NO MIND

MUSHIN is:

Professional Detachment

A Habit of Mind

One must remain Open , Flexible and Unbiased.

What is your public professional face?

• Affect• Calm, Still Center• Become an Chameleon• You are what you look like• You are what you sound like

Personal vs. Professional Face

ACTIVITY

Pick a different partner, and use a professional face appropriate for work; home.

Chief Harry Dolan’s “Rule of 24”

• 24 hours• 24 minutes• 24 seconds

A term used to mentally give you a tactical mind set for the task at hand. A reminder to use your professional face and words that will generate voluntary compliance, cooperation and collaboration.

ACTIVITY

Pick a different partner, and discuss what methods you currently are using to keep your “emotional equilibrium.” What are some steps you could both use in the future?

Know Your Weaknesses

Name It: “Mr. Better Than”

He Who . . .Define It:

The Path To Strength Is Built OnRecognized Weaknesses.

Hot Buttons

Triggers

Challenges My Authority

ACTIVITY

Discuss with your partner two “weaknesses” you are currently aware of. Design a “trigger guard” for your weaknesses.

How many people are usually told about a negative contact?

It has been estimated that seventeen persons are told about an negative employee contact that is seen by only one person.

How may people are told about an event

witnessed by 100’s or 1000’s of spectators?

The Contact Professional

• In Contact With Self

• In Contact With The Organization

• In Contact With The Subject.

The Contact Professional

1. Self

Who Do You Represent?

ACTIVITY

Pick a different partner, and discuss what how you became a professional.

S.A.F.E.R

S.A.F.E.R.

Ethical Intervention Concept

ETHOS = “Self” Ethical intervention is "the representative self acting to uphold the standard of conduct expected by one's office.

Whenever our 'personal self' acts in contradiction to our 'representative self' we need another to act for us as we would act under better conditions--hence "Ethical Intervention.”

In other words, Ethical Intervention is an act that helps sustain our best Representational Power under stress. It is, then, THE act of the Art of Representation. Dr. George Thompson

You are the representative

• Isn’t it true that at the point of contact, a single employee “represents” the whole organization for better… or worse?

• What kind of representative are you?

There are no longer any innocent professional bystanders.

• Assist your fellow staff members

• Fix something if it’s going wrong

• Stop something that’s wrong

• But no matter what, you need to write a report that explains what you observed.

1. Protection from a Sudden Assault2. Protection from Poor Tactics: Staff

Safety Violations3. Protection from Policy Violations4. Protection from Out of Control

Behavior

Ethical Interventions

Verbal Intervention

• Simply talk to your partner• “Showtime”• “Be Careful Partner”• “Knock It Off”• Investigator Tap Out• Call for Assistance

Chief Dolan’s “Knock It Off”

• Previous generations of employees in the workplace simply did what they were asked to do with little debate. Many younger employees have been raised demanding to know “why”. So tell them “why” and see how quickly they come on board.

• Most importantly, when their actions or comments are inconsistent with your organizations mission, tell them to “Knock It Off”.

Harry Dolan “Knock It Off

Golden Rule

Platinum Rule

Treat others as

you would like to be treated under the same circumstances.

Cultivating the Art of Courtesy

Three Kinds of People

There are 102 Cultures in the U.S.

But Only

Three Kinds of People

Difficult People

ACTIVITY

Pick a different partner, and discuss what how you have handled difficult people in the past. At work? At home? In the community?

Part Three

COMMUNICATION THEORY

Hart Peace Story

Communication Theory

The opposite of talking should be LISTENING but for most people it is WAITING TO INTERRUPT!

Be Alert & Decisive

• Remain Alert

• Be Decisive

• Have a preplanned, practiced response in mind

L.E.A.P.S. Concept

• You must be Unbiased, Flexible, and Open

• Hear Literally

• Interpret Accurately

• Act Appropriately

If you don’t listen to what the person is

saying, watch what they are doing, and put

everything in “context” of the current

situation and the distance you are from the

person, you will never see the argument,

complaint and/or assault coming.

The Great Equalizer

• Words• Tone of Voice• Facial Expressions• Body Language• Context of the Situation• Distance / Positioning

Listening Components

L.E.A.P.S. Concept

Empathize

• To See Through The Others Eyes

• Construct A Verbal Means To Relate To

The Subject

• You Do Not Have To Agree… Simply

Understand The Others Perspective.

L.E.A.P.S. Concept

Tactical Empathy

L.E.A.P.S. Concept

Listening & Empathizing• Listening gives you intel on where the

subject is today.• Empathizing gives you intel on where the

subject has been in the past.• Combining knowing where the subject is

today and has been in the past gives you the best predictor of where the subject is going to go in the near future.

ACTIVITY

Discuss with your group a time when you could have used empathy but didn’t. What was the result? How does one attain empathy?

L.E.A.P.S. Concept

(Five Types of Questions)

• Fact Finding

• General

• Direct

• Leading

• Opinion Seeking.

L.E.A.P.S. Concept

“Sword of Interruption Technique”

Say … “Excuse me, let me see, you seem to be (feeling/emotion) _______________ because of (content/reason) ________________.”

L.E.A.P.S. Concept

• Anti – Peace Phrases• Calm Down!• What’s Your Problem?• You People…• Come Over Here!• I’m not going to tell you again…• Because these are the rules!

L.E.A.P.S. Concept

• Tactical Peace Phrases

ACTIVITY

Teach the concept of LEAPS to a group of three. Each person will take a turn. Discuss with your triad, which LEAPS concepts you are currently using. Which ones do you need work on.

Street Truth

Art of Mediation

People in crisis are often under the influences of:• Rage• Anger• FEAR• Frustration• The Unknown• They are “trapped” in a box…We must

open the box with options.

Art of Mediation

The Art Of Translation

Quicksand

Street Truth

“Self As Seen By Self”

Street Truth

• Street Truth # 3

• 93% of your success is determined by your delivery style.

93% = Delivery Style

Credibility = Credo

Belief

Power & Influence

History

Content

• 33 – 40%• How you Say it

If there is a contradiction between “Content” and “Voice”, which should you believe?

• Tone = Attitude

• Pace = Speed

• Pitch = High/Soft

• Modulation = Ebb & Flow

The Voice is a window of a person’s intentions.

ROLE VS VOICE

“Anger Management”

ACTIVITY

Form teams of 3-4 and debrief film. (1) Use tactics learned to improve response. (2) Demonstrate improved response to class.

ACTIVITY

This section of the class will involve…

MOVEMENT

Part Five

PROXEMICS

Gary Fire Talk/Fire Drills

Proxemics

(prok-se-miks) The study of the cultural, behavioral, and sociological aspects of spatial

distances between individuals.

Proxemics

•Note: These tactics were develop by Gary T. Klugiewicz with contributions from Tony Pinelle, Joel Lashley, and Doug Lynch based on material provided by Dr. George Thompson and numerous nationally known defensive tactics and crisis management instructors• • •© 2012 Verbal Defense & Influence

Proxemics

R.A.M.

Reasonable Arc of Movement

Proxemics

Tony “Thinker Stance”

Proxemics

“Sitting Tactically”

Proxemics

Drills

Part Six

TACTICS

Tactics

ACTIVITY

Form teams of 3-4 and discuss “Anatomy of a Verbal Assault”.

Tactics

Anatomy of a Verbal Assault

1. What are the reasons for verbal assaults?

2. How do you control your personal/professional face?

3. In the past, how have you handled verbal assaults? At work? At Home?

Tactics

• Types of Verbal Assaults• Authority• Profanity• Personal Threats• Family Safety• Other Staff

Tactics

• Types of Verbal Assaults• Physical Features• Age/Sex/Sexuality• Skill/Competence• Education• Economic Status

Tactics

• Funny Word Blocks (Quick, Appropriate, no Counter Punch)

• Serious Word Blocks• Polite Threat Word Blocks• Mobilizing the Audience Word Blocks• Sudden Assault (Time Out) Word

Blocks

Tactics

Combination Deflectors

• I hear what you’re saying, and I got that, however…

• I hear that, and I’m listening, but…

• You seem upset, and I’m sorry you feel that way, however…

Tactics

EXAMPLEComment:“Why are you at my house again, I get tired of ya’ll coming here. Don’t you have anything better to do than bother us?”Response:“ I can see you are upset, I’m here again to get some information we need to be able to assist your family.”

ACTIVITY

Your team will create two real life scenarios from your work experience and use deflectors to handle verbal abuse.

Tactics

1. Listen

2. Empathize

3. Ask

4. Paraphrase

5. Summarize

Tactics

• Security• Attack• Flight• Excessive Repetition• Revised Priorities

Tactics

Universal Greeting

Tactics

Persuasion Sequence

Tactics

The Art Of Translation

Art of Mediation

Tactics

5DFPS Staff treat others:

1. ALWAYS TREAT OTHERS with dignity and respect.

2. ASK THEM, don’t tell them to do something.3. TELL THEM WHY they should do it.4. GIVE OPTIONS, not threats.5. GIVE THEM a second chance, if appropriate.

Tactics

ACTIVITY

In teams of three, formulate scenarios from past work experiences.

ACTIVITY

Conduct Demonstrations Persuasion Sequence Techniques using Real – Life scenarios.

Part Seven

Improving Future Performance

• Are you OK? Wellness Check• How do you think you did? What

happened?• Positive comment, if possible• What would you do different next time? • Instructor, role player, and/or peer jury

comments• Instructor Summation

• Always Keep Professional Face• Always Treat Others As You Would Want

To Be Treated . . . Under Identical Circumstances

• Never Inflate People With Adrenaline• Flexibility Is Strength - Rigidity Weakness• Redirect Rather Than Resist.

• It’s Not Enough To BE Good, You Have To

LOOK Good & SOUND Good, or It’s NO Good!

• Never Step On One’s Personal Face!

• People are Like Steel - When We Lose Our

Temper We Are Useless!

How will this training affect my relationships? At Work? At Home?In Community?

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