valentines day

Valentines Day

Good Morrow!

'Tis St.Valentine’s Day

All in the morning betime,

And I a maid at your window,

To be your valentine!Ophelia, Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Valentine’s roots-

Roman celebration on Feb.15th

Lupercalia

to ensure protection against wolves

young men would run a race and whip people as they passed by...

Young women who desired to have a child would stand in their way to purposely be hit.

They believed it made them fertile.

Stranger Yet !!!

Up to 13th century marriage was legal by capture.

India- Kanjar groom would gather sticks,stones and muskets with his friends and war against his chosen brides’ house until the bride’s family would give her over.

Most strange !!!

Austrailiasian tribesmen “married”by simply shooting barbless arrows through the legs of the maiden of their choice.

Marriage

the union of one man and one woman…

Gen2:24

In Love

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Eph 5:28

Love;

25 agapao (ag-ap-ah'-o);

perhaps from agan (much) [or compare 5689]; to love (in a social or moral sense):

KJV-- (be-) love (-ed). Compare 5368.

5368 phileo (fil-eh'-o);from 5384; to be a friend to (fond of [an individual or an

object]), i.e. have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; while 25 is wider, embracing especially the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety: the two thus stand related very much as 2309 and 1014, or as 2372 and 3563 respectively; the former being chiefly of the heart and the latter of the head); specifically, to kiss (as a mark of tenderness):

KJV-- kiss, love.

Love is expressed in 5 ways

• Faith• Financial Goals• Social Interests• Recreation and Hobbies• Conduct in the home (Discipline)

“What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life-

To strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the

moment of the last parting.”

George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans) 1819-1880

7 Rules for a happy Marriage1) Appreciate your mate for who they are.

2) Avoid recreating your mate

3) Criticism sabotages any relationship

4) Show your love

5) Little things do count.

6) Practice simple courtesies

7) Seek counsel when necessary

Consider this statement…

“I know some good marriages -

marriages where both people are just trying to get through their days

by helping each other and being good to each other.”

Erica Jong, b.1942

1) Appreciate your mate for who they are.

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man that she married”?

Barbra Streisand b.1942

If you have to repeat yourself more than once, you’re nagging.

Ex.4:24-26

Pr.21:19

27:15

25:24

Pr.14:1

Pr.26:21,24

*Pr. 31:10-31

(regarding problems-

set aside a quiet time to discuss unpleasantries.)

Avoid recreating your mate

“It begins with a prince kissing an angel.

It ends with a baldheaded man looking across the table at a fat woman”

Anonymous

We marry illusions and images

the exiting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is.”

James L.Framo b.1922

from “Explorations in Marital & Family Therapy”

Perfect your love

Phil 2:12

Rom 12:18

1Pe. 3:9-11

Phil 2:1-5

Jam 3:14

1 Thes 4:11

Rom 9:20,21

Jam 3:17

“Do not marry a fixer upper…

Criticism sabotages any relationship

Alberta statistics1998 17,986 marriages1998 7,668 divorces43% Alberta stats. (Stats Can.)

Main source of criticism -

Financial Crisis's

Lack of Intimacy

Settle on a budget.

Settle on a budget and who is going to be responsible for it.

And Consider the word -

“Ours”

The one word that makes a partnership successful.

Joanne Fink

“If there is something you need to say to your loved one,

remember to say it lovingly, as if holding his heart in your hands.”

Ellen Sue Stern

Look at the rose petals despite the thorns

Pr. 18:19

17:14

29:22

Eph.4:30-32

Pr.17:1-5

1Cor 14:20

Show Your Love

Honest appreciation goes a long way.

Heb.10:24

Don’t be unthankful

1Thes 5:18

Rom 1:21

1Pe. 3:7-9

Eph.5:35

Mrk 10:28-32

God is First

Lu 14:26,27

1Pe.3:8 love as brethren

Pr5:15-20

Pr 28:20

Pr 25:20

Avoid these comments

“It’s about time”

“What have you been up to”?

“You never…”

“If only you were like …”

“I wish you were …”

Insults and sarcastic remarks

Little things do count

“Little things compounded over time,

build great legacies”.

“Stirring the oatmeal is a humble act…

it represents a willingness to find meaning in the simple unromantic tasks: earning a living, living within a budget, putting out the garbage.”

Robert A. Johnson

Birthdays, Anniversaries,

Mother’s days, Valentines days, etc.Special gifts that mean something to the other

person.Get aways, walks, pleasant talks.

“Nothing can match the treasure of common memories”Antoine De Saint-Exupery (1900 - 1944)

Forget the grudges!!

M’t. 18

“Never forget the nine most important words of any marriage:

1) I Love You.

2) You are beautiful.

3) Please forgive me.”H.Jackson Brown Jr.

Practice simple courtesies…

“Please”

“Thank you”

“I’m sorry”

Some scriptures to help

1Pe.3:7

Pr 18:22

M’t 7:12 (Never cut your spouse down. Ever!

At home or in public)

Learn to use words of peace…

1Pe.3:9

1Cor 13 (study)

Pr.15:1

25:15

Remember…

“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person.

Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.”

Jean Anouilh (1910-1987)

Seek counsel when necessary

Heb.10:36

1Cor.7:1-16

Eph5:33

Rom16:3-5

18:24-26

Pr 27:8,9

12:15

15:22

In Conclusion

Marriage …

“to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better for worse,

for richer for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish

till death do us part….”from the common book of prayer