their peer review
Post on 14-Apr-2018
214 Views
Preview:
TRANSCRIPT
7/30/2019 Their Peer Review
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/their-peer-review 1/8
Slog1
Michelle Slog
English 1102-041
Caruso
11 April 2013
Response Letter to the FDA about Misleading Labels
The genre I used for his assignment is a letter addressed to my main audience, the Food
and Drug Administration. This was the most effective approach to get my points across because
my research and information is directed straight to the source of the problem. This letter from an
angry consumer is mainly complaining about the food labeling standards the FDA upholds
among foods and medications. In addition, it also suggests how they can make effective
alterations to improve their regulations. My purpose of this letter is to provide concrete
arguments about the FDA’s poor labeling in order for them to reevaluate their standards.
Initially I am responding to the Center for Science in the Public Interest, which is where I found
most of my information. Throughout the letter, I then provide other sources in which serve as
additional evidence to support my cause. This letter directed to the Food and Drug
Administration also contains my own personal experiences with false labeling along with highly
supportive recordable sources.
"Food Labeling." Center for Science in the Public Interest . N.p., 2012. Web. 19 Mar. 2013.
<http://www.cspinet.org/foodlabeling/>.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:06 AM
Comment [1]: LookattheformatoftheMe
again:ItshouldbeMemo:(thenwritememoh
thenyoushouldhavethetitleofyourletter
followedbytheMLAcitationofthepiecethaty
arerespondingtoandtheURLlink.Makesure
don’tindentfortheMemo.
7/30/2019 Their Peer Review
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/their-peer-review 2/8
Slog2
469 Miller Avenue
Brick, NJ 08724
11 April 2013
Food and Drug Administration
10903 New Hampshire Avenue
Silver Spring, MD 20993-0002
Food and Drug Administration,
I am contacting you on behalf of your poor performances on regulating labels among
various products I have purchased. Your company has not altered the regulations on the labeling
standard since 1990, (Center of Science for the Public Interest, par. 2) and many things have
changed since this time. The labels that are being manufactured are highly misleading to the
consumer, and we are not receiving what we pay extensive amounts of money towards. Not only
are these flaws found within food products, but also significant medications, which can cause
extreme health effects among individuals.
Based off of my experiences with these disingenuous labels, I have come to the
conclusion that your company of the Food and Drug Administration needs to place a higher
importance on consumer health. I have purchased many food products with the words “natural”
and “zero trans-fat” advertised on them. The Center of Science for the Public Interest’s website
informed me these words are not sending a fully positive message. In the consumer’s
perspective, these phrases simply indicate the product under the packaging is decently healthy. It
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:21 AMComment [2]: Idon’tknowifthisisthebes
tostartoffyourletter.Irealizethatthisisa
complaintletter;however,bysaying“yourpoo
performances”(realisticallyspeaking)mightbe
puttingandsoundsabitbiased.Yourcouldrew
bysaying:“Iamcontactingyouradministration
behalfofsomeoftheconcernsthatIhaverega
performancesregulating……”.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:25 AM
Comment [3]: Maybetryandbemorespec
aboutwho“We”is.Tryandkeepinmindwhoy
arespeakfor?Youmayknowbutyouhaveto
assumethatthepeopleyouarewritingtodon’
know.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:27 AM
Comment [4]: Bygivingspecificexamples
(namesoftheseproducts)youwillprovidethe
withavisualandevidencetotheaccusationsth
youaremakingtowardsthem.
7/30/2019 Their Peer Review
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/their-peer-review 3/8
Slog3
has come to my knowledge that these terms do not mention anything about low cholesterol or
saturated fat, which can be very harmful if not in moderation as well (Center of Science for the
Public Health, par. 3).
The reason there is a high importance of monitoring the distinction between these two
components in foods is because they are highly diverse. “Saturated fat occurs naturally in food,
but trans-fat is man-made” (Calorie Count, par. 1). There are also more added byproducts, or
added chemicals, in trans-fat items. Although these two substances are extremely different in
chemicals and source, they both contribute to life threatening diseases. “Food labels play an
important role in the battle against obesity and diet-related disease, which are responsible for
hundreds of thousands of premature deaths in the United States each year” (Center of Science for
the Public Interest). Your company is partially to blame for this occurrence because of your
allowance of terrible labeling principles. The Food and Drug Administration is basically
allowing customers to become fooled by these labeling misconceptions which are causing
damaging consumer health in society.
Furthermore, the FDA’s inability to produce proper food labels is also affecting the
liability of the industry. This then causes more hesitation to purchase these products because in
reality, it is unclear what they consist of. In addition, your industry needs to reevaluate realistic
serving sizes and requiring nutrition labels to be more appealing to the average human. More
often than not this information is tremendously confusing and it is not understandable what
consumers are ingesting. In order to provide you with clear examples of misleading labels, I
have a variety of items I wish to share with you. In the past I have purchased many “100 percent
natural” granola bars distributed by Nature’s Valley. This label makes it seem like the product is
healthy, but I then took a glance at the ingredients label. The second ingredient in this product is
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:30 AM
Comment [5]: Add“also”here.(Iyouwant
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:30 AM
Comment [6]: Isoundsabitweirdtoenda
sentencewith“aswell”.Maybetakeoutaswe
add“also”atthebeginningofthesentence.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:34 AM
Comment [7]: Itmightbebettertosay“Ife
thatyourcompanyispartially……“.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:35 AM
Comment [8]: Youmightwanttoadd“asto
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:36 AM
Comment [9]: Ifeellikethiscouldbeworde
better.Idoesn’tflow
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:37 AM
Comment [10]: Ilikethatyouusedanexam
wouldliketoseemoreJ
7/30/2019 Their Peer Review
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/their-peer-review 4/8
Slog4
high-maltose corn syrup, which has not yet been studied for potential risks (Vallient, par. 3).
This developed more concerns for me because I strongly believed these snacks were decently
healthy, and it was shocking to hear about this information. Not only should you reconsider your
labeling tactics, but you should also look more in depth toward the ingredients these
manufacturers are using.
Another product I bought was Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which has the words “Whole
Grain Guaranteed” visibly labeled at the top of the box. This label is misleading because whole
grain is not the initial ingredient used for this product. Moreover, whole grain indicates the
product should contain a decent quantity of fiber and nutrients, and this cereal merely contains
two percent of fiber (Vallient, par. 7). Many manufactures recognize the notion that consumers
do not understand the true meaning behind whole grain. This is why they demonstrate these
loopholes to influences individuals that they are actually consuming healthy snacks. It is
apparent that you need to notify these manufacturers about their labels, among many other
industries who are producing these contradicting foods as well.
Not only does your industry have poor regulations on food, but medications also create
serious apprehensions. Many medications on the market acquire extensive “fine print” on the
bottles and the consumer has difficulty acknowledging them. This is highly dangerous
considering these include the health risks and the train of individuals who should not participate
in consumption. The FDA needs to require the manufacturers to place this important
information where it is more visible and apparent to the customer .
Evidences are available for best practices in labeling format and content, such as
increasing font size, using clear and simple language, using headers, and placing a more
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:38 AM
Comment [11]: Itmightbebesttotakethis
workout.It’snotneededtomakethesentence
makesince.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:39 AM
Comment [12]: “at”maybeabetterword
choice”
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:40 AM
Comment [13]: takeout“of”
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:41 AM
Comment [14]: Thisdoesn’tquiteflow.Try
rewordthissentence.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:42 AM
Comment [15]: Thisneedstobeplural….
“Consumershavehad”
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 10:42 AM
Comment [16]: Takeout
7/30/2019 Their Peer Review
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/their-peer-review 5/8
Slog5
appropriate emphasis on organizing label content around what is most important for
patients such as drug name, dose, dosage or usage instructions, patient name, doctor
name, quantity, refill information, and provider content such as pharmacy name, logo and
national drug code number should be in optimal font size. (Jeetu, Girish, par. 11)
There are countless suggestions for you to consider that will provide higher standards on medical
labels. If the Food and Drug Administration took these into account and actually made a
difference in the regulation processes, there would be less confusion for consumers and fewer
avoidable illnesses.
Throughout my experiences and research, I have reached a final verdict that the Food and
Drug Administration should highly reconsider the labeling regulations on the products
mentioned. A product should not attempt to resemble a healthy component when in actuality this
food is horrible for an individual. In addition, nutrition facts and labels should be easily
understood to consumers and provide them with truthful information. Most importantly, this
industry must place a higher importance on the monitoring of medication labeling because it is
causing serious health issues among individuals. Consumers are unsure on the realism of
products purchased because this company is not liable with the labeling requirements. This Food
and Drug Administration industry strongly needs to do its job and place higher standards on the
consumer’s safety, and the initial step in doing so is to improve regulation on labels.
Thank you, and your patience and time is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Michelle Slog
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 11:07 AM
Comment [17]: Ilikethatyoutellthemtha
don’thavetocontinuemisleadingpeopleandt
givingthemexamplesastohow.Ithinkthatgiv
themperspectiveandapossiblewayforthem
improve.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 11:13 AM
Comment [18]: Somewhereinhereyouwe
fromaddressingtheFDAas“you,your”whichi
slightlylessformal(whichisok,becauseyouar
writingaletter)Butnowyouareaddressingth
aformalcompanywhichIfeeltakesawayfrom
humanizationthatyouwereusingbefore.Ithin
thatifyouweregoingtoaddressthemas“you
themyouneedtokeepthatsameformat
throughouttheentirepaper.Ifnot,thenitsoun
likeyouarewaveringfrominformaltoformal.
Nora Shafer 4/9/13 11:18 AM
Comment [19]: “oftherealismoftheprodu
theypurchase…becauseyourcompany…”(just
suggestiontomakethatsentenceflowbetter)
7/30/2019 Their Peer Review
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/their-peer-review 6/8
Slog6
Works Cited
Calorie Count . anonymous, 13 Jan. 2009. Web. 21 Mar. 2013.
<http://caloriecount.about.com/difference-trans-fat-saturated-q4146>.
Jeetu, G., and T. Girish. "Prescription Drug Labeling Medication Errors: A Big Deal for
Pharmacists." U.S. National Library of Medicince National Institutes of Health. J
Young Pharm., 2010. Web. 2 Apr. 2013.
<http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3035877/>.
"Food Labeling." Center for Science in the Public Interest . N.p., 2012. Web. 19 Mar. 2013.
<http://www.cspinet.org/foodlabeling/>.
Valliant, Melissa. "Top 5 Deceptive Food Labels We Bet You’ve Fallen For." Hella Wella. N.p.,
26 Sept. 2012. Web. 2 Apr. 2013. <http://www.hellawella.com/top-5-deceptive-food-
labels-we-bet-youve-fallen-for/2989>.
7/30/2019 Their Peer Review
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/their-peer-review 7/8
Slog7
Research Pre-Writing
• Purpose of this piece/ what information do you need to fulfill this info:
o The purpose of this response letter is to notify the Food and Drug Administration
about their poor labeling regulations. In order to successfully base an argument
about this issue, I will need to provide extended research about the topic. The
information I will need to find out is how the FDA displays their labeling
requirements among industries. I will also need to find out the issues involved
with labels on the market and how consumers are responding to them. This
research will be helpful because my response letter is based on an angry consumer
who is complaining to the FDA.
• Anything in the piece you are responding to that you do not understand/ what more do
you need to research in order to understand it:
o In the article I am responding to, I do not understand the full components of the
nutrition labels. I need to provide more research on how the nutrition labels
display positive feedback against ones that do not. For instance, I need to fully
understand what is healthy for consumers and what can actually harm them in the
long run. In addition to these uncertainties, I also need to research the difference
between saturated fats and trans-fat. The article discusses how food labels
advertise how their product has zero trans-fat, but this does not mean it does not
have zero saturated fat, which is more harmful to the body. I must find
information to back up these points and form my own knowledge on it. This will
advance my arguments within my complaint letter to the Food and Drug
Administration.
• What do you need to know about the full cycle of this conversation, is the article
responding to something else:
o I need to find out how this article came about and why it is providing the
information it does. I need to research what product in particular it is refereeing
to, or if it is a majority of products on the market. This can also assist me in
letting the FDA know what products are misleading so they have a better sense on
where they should start to reevaluate. In addition, I can put these individual
products in my letter as references in order to provide more evidence on my topic.
• In your proposal, what will you need to research in order to accomplish what you said in
it:
o I need to find out the specifics of the products in which are providing misleading
labels in order for the Food and Drug Administration to grasp a better hold on
who to address. I could maybe even give the FDA suggestions on how to alter the
labels in order for the common consumer to understand. In addition, I must
research more information about the manufacturer’s regulations on their products
considering this is where the root of the problem is.
7/30/2019 Their Peer Review
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/their-peer-review 8/8
Slog8
• In intro, what will you need to research to accomplish this intention:
o Within the introduction of my letter, I address the various products I purchased in
which demonstrate misleading labeling. Once again, I need to display more
research in order to provide examples of these products for the Food and Drug
Administration. I also talk about medications in addition to food products. I need
to go into more detail about these items because my letter is mainly about foods.
This will further display knowledge about a variety of companies the FDA
monitors and how they need to improve all of their regulations.• Intended audience= what are their interests, what research is needed to provide this:
o My intended audiences are the individuals in the FDA. These are the people I am
addressing my letter to and who I am facing my complaints towards. Keeping in
mind the Food and Drug Administration understand more about the food industry
than I do, I must provide extended research in order to prove I know what I am
talking about. This will then make my argument stronger and this industry will
also respect me more. This will also offer the opportunity for the FDA to actually
reconsider their labeling tactics based on my notable information and research.
• Unintended audience= who are they? What might they expect? What might you need to
research in order for them to interact with this piece?
o The unintended audience could be other consumers who obtain the same
complaints and problems as I do in the letter. These individuals may expect me todisplay a logical argument to the FDA in order to make a difference in labeling. I
may need to apply more research on stories of personal consumers who have had
negative experiences with products due to poor labeling. This can also help me
question the Food and Drug Administration’s liability more and show them how
their mistakes are affecting other people’s lives, not just mine.
• Writing a letter to the FDA, what components are necessary to capture content, audience
and purpose for this piece:
o In a letter, in order to capture the content, I must display the components of a
proper heading and closing. I also must remember to stay professional in order
for the FDA to take me seriously. In addition, I must display my information in an
organized way that also proves my point and influences the Food and Drug
Administration to reevaluate their standards on labeling products. In order tocapture my audience, I must initially address my letter appropriately and
immediately state what my purpose is for contacting them. I also need to apply
my knowledge on the topic and demonstrate that I understand everything I am
talking about. Lastly, in order to capture my purpose of the letter, I must provide
quotes from my research. I should also include other personal experiences in
order to further demonstrate how poor labeling can cause a negative effect on
people.
top related