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D A Y 2

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF

HAPPINESS

HOMEWORK DISCUSSION:

WEEK ONE PRACTICES

• # 1 Three Blessings

• # 2 Three Blessings in Disguise

• # 3 Savoring Practice

• # 4 Resiliency

HAPPINESS GUIDE

(REVIEW)

• What are three key ideas from last class that you found the most insightful?

SELF-ASSESSMENT

True or False

1. Our genes have little to do with our long term experience of happiness.

2. Our circumstances have a large impact on our long term experience of happiness.

3. Based on studies by Daniel Gilbert, we are very good at predicting our future emotional states.

4. Most human behaviors are driven by conscious forces rather than unconscious forces.

PURSUIT OF “C” IS BACKWARDS:

The Happiness Advantage:

Our intuition has it backwards.

The happier a person is the…

• More likely they are to find solutions to problems.

• More likely they have a stable and happy relationships.

• More likely they are to have a promotion.

• More likely they are to make more money.

• More likely they are to live a healthier life and live longer.

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY:

KNOW THY SELF

Psychologist Martin Seligman, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

H = S + C + V

S = genetic set point

C = circumstances/conditions of living

V = voluntary activity

50%10%40%

Your thoughts. Your choices and actions.

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY:

KNOW THY SELF

What about V?

V = voluntary activity (thoughts and actions)

Why do some of us think and act in ways that are detrimental to our happiness?

THE ROOTS OF UNHAPPINESS:

V ISN’T SO VOLUNTARY

The Power of the Unconscious Mind

Most of our thoughts and behaviors are governed by unconscious processes.

“Programs” of suffering

1. Inherited Brain Built for Survival Not Happiness

2. Poorly Conditioned (by Culture & Past Experience)

WHAT THE CLASS IS ABOUT

So what to do?Two More analogies of the unconscious

H = S + C + V

WHAT THE CLASS IS ABOUT:

HAPPINESS?

• 1. The Pleasurable Life

• Happiness related to the quality of one’s emotions.

• 2. The Good Life

• Happiness related to the quality of one’s engagement with the world; satisfaction.

• 3. The Meaningful Life

• Happiness related to human flourishing and one’s sense of purposeful living.

DAY 2:

THE PLEASURABLE LIFE: EMOTIONS

• Managing Negativity

• Enhancing Experiences of Joy and Positivity

UNPLEASANT EMOTIONAL STATES

Can you recall any specific moments during the past week when you where in a unpleasant or unhappy state of mind?

How much of our unhappiness is due to our own negativity?

Why do we choose negativity? Why self-impose unhappiness?

Unpleasant Conditions Our Own Thoughts

PROGRAMMED BY GENETICS

The Negativity Bias

(But first a demonstration of how we think and perceive.)

18

THINKING ABOUT THINKING

THINKING ABOUT THINKING

THINKING ABOUT THINKING

Snap Judgments

Based on Context(visual clues� quick decisions)

THINKING ABOUT THINKING

THINKING ABOUT THINKING:

THINKING ABOUT THINKING:

THINKING ABOUT THINKING

THINKING ABOUT THINKING

Habitual Pattern Recognition

(Short-cut / Rules of Thumb)

WHAT DO YOU PERCEIVE?

WHAT DO YOU PERCEIVE?

WHAT DO YOU PERCEIVE?

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THINKING ABOUT THINKING

Word Patterns

THINKING & PERCEPTION

The BIG IDEA

We don’t experience reality as it is.

We often experience reality based on how we are conditioned to experience reality.

HOW ARE WE CONDITIONED?

Dark, thin, long, curved

But we actually have a tendency to perceive “snake.”

?=

35

NEGATIVITY BIAS:

CAUSES IN EVOLUTION

Sticks and Carrots Metaphors

“Sticks” - Dangers“Carrots” - Rewards

• As we evolved, avoiding “sticks” usually had more effects on survival than approaching “carrots.”

This mistake won’t kill you.

This mistake will.

36

NEGATIVITY BIAS:MISTAKES WE ARE PROGRAMMED TO MAKE

• Some Possible Mistakes:• Thinking there is a tiger in the bushes when there isn’t one.

• Thinking there is no tiger in the bushes when there is one.

• We evolved to make the first mistake a hundred times to avoid making the second mistake even once.

• This evolutionary tendency is intensified by temperament, personal history, culture, and politics. How?• Marketers, politicians, family members, institutions…

So what are the perceptual and emotional results?• s

37

NEGATIVITY BIAS:RESULTING TENDENCIES

• We are more prone to see threats than rewards.

• We focus more on possible issues that opportunities.

• We tend to ruminate on past problems than success.

So is this really a surprise?

s

38

NEGATIVITY BIAS:TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE

Perception:

Humans have a tendency to reinforce pre-existing beliefs.

So, tend to use all new info to confirm our mistaken appraisals and ignore (or lessen the weight) of

conflicting info.

s

COMPENSATING FOR

THE NEGATIVITY BIAS

We have a programmed tendency to be bias towards focusing on negative thoughts & pessimistic interpretations of reality.

So how can we compensate?

1. Become more conscious of these thoughts & interpretations when they arise and choose differently.

2. Program ourselves for more neutral or positive experiences.

NEUROPLASTICITY:

PROOF FOR CHANGE

• Stroke Victims • Juggling Study

Definition: The brain’s ability to change, adapt, and rewire itself based on new experiences.

UNPLEASANT EMOTIONAL STATES

Unpleasant Conditions

But what do we do about unpleasant circumstances and events?

ACTIVITY

List specific examples from the past two weeks when you where in a negative or unhappy state and describe what occurred that triggered this feeling.

Be sure to describe both the triggering event, your emotional response, and the thoughts that accompanied it.

RESILIENCY

Resilience refers to the ability to cope with adversity, or “persevere and adapt when things go awry.”

• We often can’t control our conditions of living (C)

• But the majority of our suffering isn’t the result of C. It’s the result of our thoughts and beliefs about C.

RESILIENCY

• Buddha

• First Darts: The events in our lives that cause pain and suffering.

• Second Darts: The judgments we make about these events that perpetuate and exaggerate our suffering.

• Psychological Research:

• Resilient people have flexible thinking and can avoid exaggeration, hence more accurate thinking.

• Issues arise from…

• Cognitive Distortions: Explanatory Style

RESILIENCY

Cognitive Distortions (Explanatory Styles)

• Personal – (internal vs. external)• Issue: automatically, incorrectly thinking the cause of all

problems is oneself• Issue: automatically, incorrectly thinking the cause of all

problems are outside of oneself.

• Permanent – (permanent vs. temporary)• Issue: automatically thinking a problem is lasting and

unchangeable.

• Pervasive – (specific vs. universal)• Issue: automatically thinking the problem will undermine all

aspects of his/her life.

HOW TO DEVELOP RESILIENCY:THE LIMBIC SYSTEM (AMYGDALA) & PFC

AMYGDALA

The amygdala

Responsible for assessing threat

Damage to the amygdala results in abnormality in processing fear.

chapter 13

THE AMYGDALA

PREFRONTAL CORTEX (PFC)

Need to exercise control over older, strong, emotional and instinctual brain of the subcortex.

Sustained AttentionSelf-Monitoring

Impulse Control(behavioral inhibition)Emotional Modulation

RESILIENCY

The Big Idea:

Become more aware of ones emotional reactions and judgments. Then consciously choose an appropriate response, challenging negative thoughts that may not be accurate.

Activity:

• Think of some examples within the last 48 ours when you threw 2nd darts at yourself and list them down.

• Then try to reword the 2nd darts in more neutral (accurate), non-judgmental language.

RESILIENCY EXERCISE

Exercise:

As you go through your day, try to catch yourself during those moments when you throw second darts at yourself. Then, while you are conscious of the dart, ask yourself the following question: Is there a way to rephrase this experience in more neutral, non-judgmental language that still accurately describes my circumstances?

Often times, neutral language provides a more accurate description than the language that occurs as a result of our negativity bias.

PRACTICING NON-JUDGMENT:

FORGIVENESS

• Forgiveness of others (letting go of unnecessary judgments of others).

• Forgiveness of ourselves (letting go of unnecessary judgments of oneself).

• Frequent forgiveness exercise:

• Reflect on any feelings of guilt, or thoughts of self-criticism, that you may be holding onto. As you are experiencing these feelings and thoughts, try to see yourself as a dear friend that is worthy of forgiveness. Then, imagine what you would say to this friend to indicate that you have forgiven him or her.

BEYOND UN-MISERABLE

MAKING POSITIVITY A HABIT

Make the positive aspects of your experience prominent and relatively intense in the foreground of your awareness while simultaneously placing the negative material in the background.

Gain more positive implicit memories.

Make “seeing the good” a habit.

C - Conditions of Living

What’s the problem with pleasure?

PLEASURE’S BAD RAP

THE PROBLEM WITH

THE PURSUIT OF PLEASURE

Suffering From Desires

1. Addiction

(masking unmet needs)

2. Hedonic Treadmill

(Sensory Adaptation)

FREUD’S INTERESTING THEORY

Freud’s Unconscious

How does this explain behavior?

1. Unmet Needs / Desires

2. Lead to Tension/Impulses

3. Behaviors

Need

Drive

Response

Goal

(need reduction)

Model of Motivational Activities

Energized motivational state: hunger, thirstAction(s)

TargetOf Motivations

ADDICTION:MASKING OF UNMET NEEDS

*The Problem:

We are mostly unconscious of our true needs.

C - Conditions of Living

What if we continue to rely on these for our happiness?

Sensory Adaptation: the more you are exposed to the same stimuli, the less responsive you are to that stimuli.

Then how might we respond?

HEDONIC TREADMILL:

SENSORY ADAPTATION

HEDONIC TREADMILL:

SENSORY ADAPTATION

Emotional Suffering:

• Stress from always wanting more. Never fulfilled.

• Angry when not getting what you want.

• Fear of it not coming or losing what we have.

• Never able to appreciate what you have.

Hedonic Treadmill

• Want more! • Want bigger!• Want better!

But if we are always wanting more, can we

ever be satisfied?

ESCAPING THE HEDONIC TREADMILL

Feeling good isn’t bad. But how do participate in the practice of experiencing pleasant experience without becoming addicted and trapped on the hedonic treadmill?

1. Practice delayed gratification.• Spread out your experience.

• Use it to honor your yourself or others. Practice appreciation.

2. Practice experiencing joy from within rather looking for it outside of oneself.

JOY OF THE PAST:

GRATITUDE

• Thwarts “hedonic adaptation”:

• Helps us develop the skill to appreciate what we’ve learned to take for granted.

• Training oneself to counteract the negativity bias.

• Practice focusing on positive memories rather than what went wrong.

JOY OF THE PAST:

GRATITUDE

Robert EmmonsPsychologist, UC Davis

• Expressing gratitude strong effect on happiness.• Best to ritualize it, but vary.

See handout for descriptions of the following gratitude practices.

1. Gratitude Journal2. Gratitude Essay or Letter3. Gratitude Partner4. Meditate on Feelings of Gratitude5. Express Gratitude Directly6. Ritualize Endings

JOY OF THE PRESENT:

SAVORING

Definition: Savoring consists of intentionally engaging in thoughts and behaviors that heighten the positive emotions that a pleasurable experience elicits.

• Our thoughts too often draw us away from savoring positive experience.

• Being mindful allows us to consciously choose to savor positive experience

• Builds positive memories to draw upon later.

JOY OF THE PRESENT:

SAVORING

Suggestions from Barbara FredricksonPsychologist, University of North Carolina

• Savor Subtle Source of Positivity:

• Can’t force positivity, but sources for it are often in abundance (smile, sunrise, children, small act of kindness, etc…)

• Studies show that positive emotions need not be intense or long lasting to be powerfully effective.

• Silver Linings:

• Combat the negativity bias by looking for positive meaning in life’s experiences. (Blessings in Disguise exercise)

JOY OF THE FUTURE:

CULTIVATE OPTIMISM

• Remembering that the future is unknown.

• Let Yourself Dream:

• Spend so much time worrying about the future

• Balance this by allowing yourself to dream, visualize, about your best possible outcome.

• We see what we are prepared to see.

• Exercise:

• Dream about the best possible outcome for you today. Visualize a future for yourself in which everything has turned out the way you’ve wanted. How could this day turn out perfectly for you?

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