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THE HANGOVER ARatQueensadventurefor3rd-levelcharacters

Theeveningstartedoutwiththegreatestintentions.Afewrelaxedpints,livelyconversation,

andagoodold-fashionedbarbrawl.Whenthefisticuffscame,theywerewithavisiting

noblenamedSirDandeleoneofLavender,amiddlingminorknightfromafamilyofno

consequence.Allthingsbeingequal,itshouldhavebeenaclassicdust-up,forgottenbythemorning.

Butno.Thingsescalated.

Writtenby

Kurtis J. Wiebe

ArtbyOwen Gieni

DevelopmentandEditing:ScottFitzgeraldGray

Warning: This material is intended for mature readers

RATQUEENS(includingallprominentcharactersfeaturedherein),itslogo,andallcharacterlikenessesaretrademarksofKURTISJ.WIEBEandJOHNUPCHURCH,unlessotherwisenoted.Allnames,characters,events,andlocalesinthispublicationareentirelyfictional.DUNGEONS&DRAGONS,D&D,WizardsoftheCoast,ForgottenRealms,thedragonampersand,Player’sHandbook,MonsterManual,DungeonMaster’sGuide,D&DAdventurersLeague,allotherWizardsoftheCoastproductnames,andtheirrespectivelogosaretrademarksofWizardsoftheCoastintheUSAandothercountries.ThismaterialisprotectedunderthecopyrightlawsoftheUnitedStatesofAmerica.AnyreproductionorunauthorizeduseofthematerialorartworkcontainedhereinisprohibitedwithouttheexpresswrittenpermissionofWizardsoftheCoast.©2017WizardsoftheCoastLLC,POBox707,Renton,WA98057-0707,USA.ManufacturedbyHasbroSA,RueEmile-Boéchat31,2800Delémont,CH.RepresentedbyHasbroEurope,4TheSquare,StockleyPark,Uxbridge,Middlesex,UB111ET,UK.

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Adventure Setup Thisadventurefollowstheaftermathofaninsanenightofboozeandgeneralf--kingdebauchery.Thefourcharacters—Betty,Violet,Dee,andHannah—startedoutthepreviouseveningwiththegreatestintentions.Afewrelaxedpints,livelyconversation,and(ifthestarsaligned)agoodold-fashionedbarbrawl.Whenthefisticuffscame,theywerewithavisitingnoblenamedSirDandeleoneofLavender,amiddlingminorknightfromafamilyofnoconsequence.Allthingsbeingequal,itshouldhavebeenaclassicdust-up,forgottenbythemorning. Butno.Thingsescalated. Whenthenoblerealizedhewasabouttofaceembarrassmentatthehandsofagroupofrowdypeasants,hetookmattersintohisownhandsandsenthisarmedguardstodeliverresolution.Ratherthanfacetheconsequencesofbeatinganobletoneardeath,thecharactersallfledoutthebackdoor,robbinganunsuspectingalecarterofhiscargo,wagon,andhorses,thentearingoffintothenight. RememberhowIsaiditescalated?Well,thisisthepointwhenthingsREALLYescalated.Afteraseriesofchaoticencounters,thecrewwakesupinthemiddleofunfamiliarwoods,nexttoashatteredwagon,withafigurehogtiedhangingfromatree,andsittingnexttoalarge,moaningwoodenchest. Thisis“TheHangover.”

The Rat Queens TheplayerswillbeassumingtheroleoftheeponymousRatQueens—abandofcollege-agefemaleadventurersinanoriginalfantasysettingestablishedinthecomicofthesamename.RatQueensisacomedicseriesthatoftenlovinglypokesfunatthetropesfoundinhighfantasyfiction.Assuch,thisadventureembracestheabsurd,thehilarious,andthecrude.Youhavebeenwarned. RatQueensfeaturesfourmainprotagonists:

Hannah:Afoul-mouthedhalf-elf/tieflingspellcasterwithachiponhershoulder,Hannahisloud,crude,andalwaysletsfriendsandfoealikeknowwhatshe’sthinking.

Violet:Anhonor-bounddwarfwarriordescendedfromanoblelineofartificers,Violethasabandonedhertraditionsandhometofindherownway.

Dee:HavingescapedthederangedcultofN’Rygoth(arealitysquidgod),humanclericDeehasleftbehindthetrappingsofreligion.Sheseesthatherpowersofhealingandprotectioncomefromwithin,notfromsomemonstrousaliencreature.She’squietandbookish,butnottobetrifledwith.

Betty:She’sthelovinggelthatholdstheRatQueenstogether.Adiminutivesmidgen,Bettyhasahugeheartandisacceptingofeveryone,almosttoafault.Herskillsasathiefare,tothisday,unexplained,butBettyexcelsatthesneaky.Shehasapenchantforcandyandisknowntopartakeinothertreats.Fromtimetotime.

Location, Location, Location Thisadventuretakesplacemostlyinthewoodsandontheroadasthecharacterstrytoretracetheirstepsofthepreviousforgottennight.Ifyouuseminiaturefiguresandbattlemapsforcombat,youshouldprepareacoupleofgenericforestmapsandamapoftheoutskirtsofasmalltownwithafewsemidetachedbuildingsforthecombatencounters.

Cast of Characters • SirPeterDandeleoneofLavender:Arichhumannoblefromacrosstheseas,DandeleoneislookingtomakeaprofitinthispatheticfrontiertownofPalisade.Hehasseriousregretsaboutnotbeingpreparedforwhattheword‘party’meanshere.

• DicktheWordDirk:Awanderingwordsmithforeverwritingepiclimericksofunrivaledwordplay.Middle-aged.Hopeful.Unemployed.

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• LarryHalfmandini:TheproudleaderoftheWonderfulHalfmandinis,atouringbandofsmidgen‘circusperformers.’Thoughmostlyacriminal,Larryhasbeenknowntoworkchildren’sparties.Kidsfetchexcellentransomgold.

• DrakeoftheForestedWoodBandits:ChieftaintooneofthemoreuselessraidingpartiesthissideofPalisade,DrakeistheformerleaderofatravelingboybardgroupcalledtheForestedWood.Beforethemassacre.

• MarkHillman:Wagonowner.Carter.Philanthropist.

Introduction Astheadventurebegins,readthefollowing.

It’sbeenagoodgodsdamnday.Afreshfivehundredgoldpiecesinyourpocketafteranothersuccessfuladventurekillingsomethingorother. YouandtherestoftheteamhavegatheredintheverypackedBlackSatyrTavernontheeasternedgeofPalisade.It’stheusualcrowd—alcoholicsandthepeoplewholovethem. Asyousettlein,youseeapretentiousnoble—likelyoftheawfulmerchantvariety—andhiscrewoflapdogswatchingyoufromacrosstheroom.Theyareveryclearlyeyeingyouup.Forwhatreason,you’venoclue. Aheavysetbeardedhumancomestoyourtable.Helookstiredandhungover.Heplacesthedrinksyouorderedinfrontofyou.Thosea##holesacrossthewaystillkeeptheireyeslockedonyou,butyou’llworryaboutthatinamoment.Fornow,youraiseyourdrinksandprepareforalongnightofharrowingdebauchery.

AllowthecharacterstoroleplaytheirnightattheBlackSatyrastheywish.Astheboozeflowsfreely,aConstitutionsavingthrowshouldbemadeeverysooften,escalatingindifficulty.Onceeveryonehasfailedthesave,thescenariobegins. Thecharacterscanmeettwooftheadventure’sNPCsattheBlackSatyr:• SirPeterDandeleoneofLavendercanbefoundmillingaboutthetavernwithagroupofhisstuffycronies.Theyshouldseemmysterious,bothaloofandimpossiblysnooty.Whenapproached,Dandeleoneisinsultingandsmug,buthebacksdownfromanyfightorchallengelikethecowardheis.

• MarkHillmancanbeseencartingboozeintothetavernfromawagoninthebackalley.Whenheisbusyworking,hehasnotimetobebothered.

Opening: Hair of the Dog Afterwhateverabruptendingtothenight’sfestivitiesyoufeellikecreating,thescenefast-forwardstothemorningaftertheteam’snightlongbender.Asecluded,unfamiliarforestistherestingplaceofthecharacters,andtheadventurethatbroughtthemheresawthemfightingbandits,transportingagangofcriminalsmidgens,andcircle-dirkingwithanunemployedbard. It’stoobadtheycan’trememberanyofit.

Thereitis.Thatoldfamiliartasteofbileandthepulseupthebackofyourneckthatonlytheparalyzingslashofabladecandeaden.Yourecognizethesmallvoiceinthebackofyourmindtellingyouit’stimetowakeup,butthatvoiceisbeingagodsdamna##holerightnow. Still,youmanagetoforceyoureyelidsopen,lettingahorridlightpourinthatburnslikeathousandacid-lacedneedles.Andnotintheniceway.

Sequence of Events Thoughthecharacterswilllikelystruggletopuzzlethroughtheeventsofthepreviouseveningandputthemintotheirproperorder,yougetearlyaccesstothatsecretinformation.AfterstartingdrinkingattheBlackSatyr,thecharactersgotintoawickedfightwithvisitingnobleSirDandeleoneandhisguards—thenendeduphavingtorunwhentheyfoundoutwhohewas. AfterrobbingthemerchantMarkHillmanofhishorsesandwagon—awagonloadedwithbarrelsofbooze—theteamfledoutoftownalongShoreRoad.Alongtheway,theyencounteredatroupeofsmidgencircusperformerswhoseleaderLarryofferedanoddproposition.Thesmidgenswouldpay20gptobesmuggledintothetownofFrontierinsidealargechest.Buteventhoughthecharacterstookthepaymentgladly,theypromptlyforgottostopintownastheycontinuedon. Drunktothepointofforgettingwhytheywereevenontheroadinacarttobeginwith,thegirlspulledoffforarest.Atthatpoint,thetravelingbardDicktheWordDirkchallengedthemtoaspellingcontest.Afterdefeatinghimmightily,theyclaimedtheirwinningbet—theclothesoffhisback. Carryingalongtheroadforafewmorehours,theteamcametoawoodedsideroadwheretheywerepromptlyattackedbybandits.Nottobemessedwith,theykilledafewofthebanditsandcapturedtheirchiefbeforetakingoffinthewagononcemore.Butsometimeafterrollingofftheforestroadandtakingthewagonoverland,theysmashedintoatree.Withalepouringoutofthebarrelsbrokenopeninthecrash,thecharactersdrankasfastastheycould,hungthebanditchieftainupinatree—andthenpromptlypassedoutuntilmorning.

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Asyouslowlyfocus,thewhitecloudofsuffocatingpainmeltsaway.Youfindyourselfintheheartofaforestthat,forthismoment,feelsveryunfamiliartoyou.Yousenseafamiliartickleofoverindulgenceinyourthroatasthecontentsofyourstomachslowlybubbleaway.Judgingbythetasteinyourmouth,thosecontentsaremostlyale,pipesmoke,andunicorndoo.Youtakealookaround,discoveringthatyourheadcanmagicallystilllooktotheleftandrightwithwhatyouwouldcall‘certainefficiency.’ Itisherethatyoudiscover,danglingfromaropebyhisfeetinabranchaboveyou,aratherperturbed-lookinghumanmalewatchingyouwithnarrowedeyes. “Youa##holesleftmehangingupsidedownallnight!”hehisses.“Mytearshaveturnedtoblood.” Yourattentionturnsinanotherdirectionasamuffledsoundcomesfromalargewoodenchestsittinglodgedinthelowestbranchesofatreeacrosstheway.Beneaththechestliesashatteredwagonthatonceheldtwobrokenbarrelsofale—andonebarrelstillcompletelyintact. Thankthegodsforsmallmercies. “Wouldyoukindlycutmethehellsdown?”thestrangershouts.

ThehumantiedupinthetreeabovethecharactersisDrakeoftheForestedWoodBandits,leaderandnowprisoner.Hewassnatchedduringanepicescapethenightbeforeandpromptlytiedtothetreebeforethecharacterspassedout. Themoaningwoodenchestcontainseightsmidgens—criminalsandcircusperformers,thelotofthem.AfterbeinghiredtosmugglethesmidgensintothetownofFrontier,thecharactersforgotaboutthatplanroughlytwominutesafterlockingthemallintothewoodenchest.Assuch,thesmidgensaren’ttoopleasedwiththegirls.

Items of Interest Inadditiontothelargewoodenchest,theremainsofthewagon,thealebarrels,andDrake,anumberofotheritemsofinterestarefoundoneachofthecharactersastheytakestockoftheirsituation.

• Bettywearsanornategoldenringsetwithaperfectsquare-cutemerald.Anobleinsigniaonbothsidesofthegemfeaturestwoeaglesflyinginoppositedirections.

• Violetfindsasilverkeyinherpocket(thisopensthewoodenchest),alongwith20goldpieces.

• Deeiswearingastylishnewoutfit,buthasnomemoryofitoncebelongingtoDicktheWordDirk.

• Hannahsportsamoustacheonherface.Arealmoustache,whichoncebelongedtoMarkHillman.

Didn’t We Have Horses? Thehorsesboltedwhenthewagonwassmashedtopieces.Unfortunatelyforthem,thedirectiontheydecidedtofleewastheexactwrongwaytogo.WithasuccessfulDC12Wisdom(Survival)check,thecharactersdiscoverthehorsetracksleadingoffinthedirectiontheeventualogreattackwillcomefrom(seeScene1,below).Thehorseshavebeendevouredwholebytheogreaboutamileawayfromthesiteoftheopeningscene.

Drake of the Forested Wood Bandits Afterbeingcutdown,assoonasDrakerealizesthatthecharactersdon’trecognizehim,heliestotellthemheisasimplefamilyman.Heexplainsthathewas

campedalongShoreRoadwhenthecharactersabductedhimandtossedhimintotheirwagon.Drakeisareasonablygoodliar,requiringasuccessfulDC19Wisdom(Insight)checktoseethroughhisstory. IfanyofthecharacterschallengeDrake’stale,hesimplymakesupnewstoriesaboutwhoheis:atravellingmerchantwhotriedtoripthepartyoff,afarmerwhotriedtoimpressthemwithastoryoffamilyorfortune,andsoon.Heneverrevealsthetruth.Hedoes,however,encouragethecharacterstoleavethewoods,warningthemthatthey’reindanger

(aswilllaterbeconfirmedbytheeventsofScene1).

Larry Halfmandini Whenthechestisopened—eitherwiththesilverkeyorasuccessfulDC20Strength(Athletics)check—Larryandsevenothersmidgens(allbandits)tumbleout,withLarryproceedingtolecturethecharacters

Hannah

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aboutobligationsandfinishingajobwhentheystartone. Whenthecharactersclaimignoranceofwhoheis,LarryrevealsthathehiredthemtosneakhimandhisfellowHalfmandinisintothetownofFrontier.Hedoesnotelaborateastothereasonswhyhewantedhimselfandhisgroupcartedintothetown,butheinsiststhatthe20gphepaidtothepartyhassecuredhimsecretpassagetoFrontier,andthatthecharactersarerequiredbylawandhonortocompletethetask. TheHalfmandinisinsistonstickingwiththecharactersuntiltheyhavehonoredtheiragreement—exceptthatheinsistsonnowmakingchangestothatagreement.InsteadofsneakingthesmidgensintoFrontier,thecharacters’newtaskinvolvesabitofthievery.LarrydoesnotspeakofthespecificsuntiltheyarriveinFrontier,whichisalongtheroadonthewaytoPalisade. Iftheplayersoffertopaybackthegold,Larryagainrefuses,claimingitisamatterofhonor,notcurrency.TheRatQueenswerepaidtodoajob,andtheywillcompletetheirtask. OncethecharactershavespokenwithbothLarryandDrake,continuetoScene1.

Scene 1: Ogre a’ Sniffin’ AsthecharactersdotheirbesttogetbacktoShoreRoad,troublefindsthemfirst.

It’salmostasthoughyouwastedyoursweetprecioustimef--kingaroundinthewoodsmuchofthepreviousnightinsteadoftryingtofindawayoutofthem.Oneofyouapparentlythoughttakingthewagoncompletelyoffroadwouldbeafunadventure,andnowyou’regods-know-whereinthemiddleofaforestwithnotrailtoguideyou. Andwhilepayingattentiontothetiniestofdetailsisoftenawisechoice,onthisday,themorningoftheGreatHangover,youcan’thelpbutwonderiftheogrewithtwogoblinsinabackpackthatsuddenlycrashesthroughthetreestowardyouisthepunctuationattheendofthestatement,“I’mneverdrinkingagain.”

Theogrefanciesitselfatacticalgeniusforhavingequippeditselfwithartillery—thetwogoblinsthatstandinitsbackpackandattackwiththeirshortbows. LarryandtherestoftheHalfmandinisdonot

engageinthefight—thoughtheypretendto.Theybobinandoutwithweaponsflashinglikeit’ssomesortofstageplay,buttheyinflictnoactualdamage. Drakeattemptstofleeifheisunbound.

Aftermath IfDrakeiscapturedagainaftertheogreandthegoblinsaredefeated,hedoeswhathecantoconvincethecharacterstoreturntotheroad.Hepromisesa10gprewardifheisreturnedtohisfamily. IfDrakeescapesduringthefight,hereappearsinScene2.Eitherway,Larryonceagain

remindsthecharactersthattheyowehimajobforthe20gphepaidthem,andinsiststhattheyreturntoShoreRoadandheadtowardFrontier. Oncethecharactershavecommittedtoheadingbacktotheroad,Scene2occursafteraboutanhour’swalkthroughtheforest.

Scene 2: Bandits on the Road! Thenightbefore,thecharacterswereambushedonthesideoftheroadwhentheystoppedtocrackopenanotherbarrelofaleanddrinkafewrounds.TheForestedWoodBandits,agroupofdespicableandincapablethieves,quicklysetuponthepartywithcompletesurprise.Despitethat,theywerethwartedinshortorderandtheirleader,Drake,wascaptured. WithDrakeintow,thegirlshoppedontothewagonandspedaway.Butjustanhouraftertheirescape,thewagonwasdrunkenlydrivenintothewoodsandsmashedtopieces.

Ahead,throughbrushandbramble,agroupofrough-lookingbanditsappearsalongtheforestedroad.Theylookdetermined.Possiblyconcerned.Definitelyannoyed.Infact,thevarietyofexpressionsontheirfacessuggeststhatsomeonehasrecentlyupsettheirliveswithmucha##holery.Theytalkamongthemselves,andasyoustalkquietlycloser,youcanmakeouttheirfrustratedconversation.

Violet

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“Thetracksleadthisway.Howmanyheavilyloaded,wildlyswervingwagonsdoyouthinkcamethiswayinthepastseveralhours?” “Possiblytwo,sir.” There’sasilence. “Ihateyou,Alan.” Thefivebanditstrudgedeeperintothethickwoods—and,asluckwouldhaveit,inyourgeneraldirection.Itseemsthey’refollowingaratherobvioustrailthatawagon,likelyyours,leftbehind.

Thefivebanditsareanalmostinsignificantthreat,evenwithDrakeleadingthem.Ifheescapedearlier,hehasrejoinedhiscrewandentersthefrayifthisencounterbecomesabattle,fightingasabanditcaptainalongsidehiscomrades. IfDrakeremainsacaptiveofthecharacters,thebanditsoffer10gpforthereturnoftheirleaderwhentheyseehim,revealinghistrueidentity.IfDrakeisreturned,heandthebanditsthenimmediatelyattackunlessthecharacterssucceedoneitheraDC15Charisma(Intimidation)checkoraDC12Charisma(Persuasion)check,inadditiontoroleplayingaconvincingargument. Oncethebanditsaredefeatedordealtwithbyothermeans,thecharactersfindShoreRoadandtravelalongitforafewuninterestinghours.ThisleadstoScene3.

Scene 3: Dick the Word Dirk

AsyoupasstheroadsignindicatingthattheouthouseofatownknownasFrontierliesfivemilesahead,youspotafigureinthedistance.Despitethevistaofthesparklingoceanthrashingagainstthecliffsbelow,youcan’thelpbutwatchthisstrangerasyoudrawevercloser.Infact,thecloseryouget,themorefamiliarthefigurebecomes—innosmallpartduetothefactthatyouhalf-recognizethepatchworkassemblageofwomen’sclothinghe’swearing.

Thefigure’sarmsarecrossed,andhescowlsasyoudrawclose.“Ah,perfect.Couldn’tleavewellenoughalone,eh?ComebackforasecondroundofgoodoldDicktheWordDirk,eh?Let’sjusthopetotheheavensthatIdon’trepeatmymistakesfromlastnight’swordcircledirk.Doubleornothing?AndthequestionIhaveforyouladiesis:Forwardorbackward?”

Circle Dirk! Dickdesiresmorethananythingtorecoverhisdignityafteraharrowingdefeatinhislastcircledirk—whichsawDeewinhisfineoutfitandlefthim

reducedtodressinghimselfinhercast-offclothing. Circledirkisawordcontestinwhichbetsarelaidontheabilityofanotherpersontocorrectlyspellachallengewordforwardorbackward.Ifevenasingleletteriswrong,thecompetitorloses.Despitehavinglosttothecharactersthepreviousnight,thistimeDickisprepared,havingchosenwordsspecificallyforeachofthegirls. Dickdoesn’tcompeteforthegold,though.Rather,hisgoalistostumpeachofthegirlswithawordheassociateswiththem—aprizeworthmorethananymaterialgain,especiallyafter

beingthoroughlytrouncedthelastgoaround.Thereisonlyoneruletothecircledirk(forbothcharactersandplayers):Nowritingofanykind,whetheronpaperorintheair.Successmustcomefromthemindalone! EachplayercanmakeanadditionalattemptatspellingawordafterafirstincorrectletterbysucceedingonaDC15Intelligencesavingthrow.Aplayercandothisonlyonce. Oncetheplayerhaschosenforwardorbackward,Dickrevealstheappropriatewordforthatcharacter.Hepays10gpforeachwordspelledcorrectly.• Betty:Minuscule(forward);caramel(backward)• Violet:Genealogy(forward);technique(backward)• Hannah:Liaison(forward);commitment(backward)

• Dee:Sacrilegious(forward);weird(backward) Everytimeawordisspelledincorrectly,Dickcelebratesthereturnofasmallportionofhisdignity.

Dee

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Oncethecircledirkiscomplete,DickcarriesonalongShoreRoadinthedirectionthecharacterscamefrom,lookingforotherunfortunatetravellerstoharasswithspellingbees. Afteranotherhouroftravel,thecharactersarecaughtupinScene4.

Scene 4: The Gold Statue of Impossible Gravity LarryHalfmandiniandhispackofmiscreantclownswerechasedoutofFrontierthepreviousnight—butnotbeforetheywerestrippedoftheprizethey’dstolen:theGoldStatueofImpossibleGravity.Araremagicitemownedbyadescendentoftheretiredadventurerwhofoundedthevillage,theGoldStatueofImpossibleGravitywastheonegoodthingtoeverhappentoFrontier,asanypersoninpossessionofitneverlostapaperfromtheirdeskeveragain. Themagicitemisworthitsweightingold,butthere’saproblem.Theknee-highstatueofapersonholdingtheGoldStatueofImpossibleGravity(whichcoincidentallyisalsoapersonholdingasmallerversionoftheoneholdinghim)canbemovedonlyifoneknowsthecommandphrase.Larryknowsthatthecommandphraseis“GoodLuckPickingTHATUp”(inflectionon“THAT”isveryimportant).Butknowinghowwellthestatueisprotected,heplanstoensurethatthegirlsarecaughtintheactwhilehelpinghimandhisteam,allowingthesmidgenstoextracttheitemwhileitsguardsaredistracted. NoStrengthcheck,nomatterhowhigh,canmovethestatue.Ifthesurfaceitsitsonisshattered,theitemsimplyfallsdownwithfullforcetothenextclosestsurface. WhenthecharactersarriveatFrontier,Larrysetsoutthetermsofhisdeal.Ofcourse,it’spossiblethatthegirlssimplyattackthesmidgencriminals.ThenyoucanignoreeverythingI’vewastedtimewriting.

AsyouapproachtheedgeofthedogturdknownasFrontier,withitsmanure-stainedthatchedroofsandequallystainedpeople,Larryandhisteamofcircusperformerscometoanabruptstop.Hissomewhatjoyfuldemeanorchangesasheplantsafistonthepommeloftheshortswordathisside.

“Now,let’stalkaboutwhatyouoweus.Wepaidyoutosneakusintothisburg.Youneverdelivered.Ifiguresincewepaidyou,I’llneedtofindanotherwayforyoutoearnthatcoin.” Hepausesashescratchesathischin. “There’salockupinthecenteroftown.Protectedbythebumblingmoronsthatwouldcallthemselves‘thetownwatch’.”Larryhuffswhilethrowingupairquotes.“Goin,retrievemygoldstatuefromtheguardhouse,andbringitback.Simple.Allthelooseendstiedupinatidylittlebow. “Or,youknow…” Hetapsthetopofhisswordpommelagainandgrins.

Stealing the Statue TheWonderfulHalfmandinisareacrewofswindlersandcharlatanswhoescapedcustodyinFrontierforrobbingpeopleblind.Afteroriginallypayingtheparty

tosneakthemintotowninsidethechest,theirplanwassimplytoretrievetheirpersonalbelongings.Butnowthattheyhaveafewfoolstheycanuseasadistraction,they’vedecidedtostealtheGoldStatueofImpossibleGravityagain. Thetownisprotectedbythreeguards.• SheriffAnwan:Aheavysetmaninhisthirties,Anwanhasabristlingblackbeardandisadornedwithloneliness.Helikelycriesintheshower.• Sam:Ayoung,starry-eyedhuman,SambelievesthatFrontieristhebestandonlytowninexistence.Literally.

Outsidersareamysterytohim,ashehasnoideawheretheycouldpossiblycomefrom.Sincenothingexistsoutsidehistown.

• Francis:Agruffyounghumanmale,Francisscrutinizeseverythingeveryonesays.Allthetime.It’ssuperannoying.

Frontier’sguardhouseisatwo-storyaffair.ThemainlevelhousesthetwojailcellsandasmallofficeforFrancisandSam.Anwan’soffice,wherethestatueisfound,isupasetofstairsjustoffthesecondcell.Itisalwayslocked,andcanbeopenedwiththekeyAnwancarriesorasuccessfulDC18Dexteritycheckusingthieves’tools.Therearewindowsonboththemainandupperlevel.(Adjustthisdescriptionas

Betty

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necessaryifyouhavepreparedabattlemapforthislocation.) Ifthestatueisevertouched,ittriggersanaudiblealarmspellthatbringsallthreeguardsrunning.OnceSheriffAnwanandtheothertwoguardsaresufficientlydistractedbythecharacters’attempttostealthestatue,LarryHalfmandiniplanstosneakthroughthewindowandsnatchit.Larrymakeshismoveonlyafterthealarmspellistriggered,andhemakesDexterity(Stealth)checksat+6. IfthecharactersarecaughtafterLarrysuccessfullyabscondswiththestatue,enthusiasticroleplayingandasuccessfulDC20Charisma(Persuasion)checkconvincesSheriffAnwantoletthepartygo.Thedifficultyislessened(DC12)iftheycansomehowreturntheGoldStatueofImpossibleGravity.Iftheplayerstakeamoreaggressiveapproachtoescapingthesheriff,acombatscenebreaksout.Thesheriffisaveteranandhistwoguardsarethugs. OncetheHalfmandinisaretakencareofandthecharactersaresetfree,theyenterScene5afteranhourontheroadbacktoPalisade.

Scene 5: Stick the Landing AsthecharactersarrivebackinPalisade,theyfindthenobleSirDandeleoneofLavenderandhispersonalguardsalreadywaitingfortheirreturn.

ThefamiliarlinesofPalisadebeckonyouhome—itsunevenperimeterwall,itsrancid-cabbagesmell,anditsappallingattemptsatarchitecture.Ah,yes,it’sgoodtobeback. Asyounavigatethebumpy,seldom-repairedroadintotown,youseefourpeoplewalkthroughthefrontgatesandtakeupstandingpositionsalongsideit,asthoughwaitingforyourarrival.Asamatterofsmallinterest,theyarearmedandarmored,butthat’slikelyjustcoincidental. Asyoudrawnear,asnotty-lookingaristocratstepsforwardfromthegroupofstuffyfakeknights.“ShouldIkillyounow?”hecalls.“Orwaitforthetrialandkillyouafter?” So,notsocoincidentalafterall. “ThankstoaproperfellowbythenameofGary,weknewyouwereonyourwayback.Bestkeepthisunfortunatebusinessoutsidethetown,yes?” Youvaguelyrememberthisman.Oratleastyouremembersomeone’sfistconnectingwiththatfaceatsomepointbetweenthismomentandtheblack-holefuguethatisyourmemoryofthepreviousnight. “Iwantmyringback.Youcanhanditovernow,orIcantakeitfromyourbloatedcarcasses.Yourchoice.Anddon’tbotherrunninglikecowardsthistime.Wefinishthis.Today.”

Withsuitableroleplaying,SirDandeleonecanbeconvinced—witheitherasuccessfulDC20Charisma(Persuasion)checkoraDC12Charisma

(Intimidation)check—totaketheringandpissoff.HecanalsobeconvincedtopissoffwithouttheringwithsolidroleplayingandasuccessfulDC18Charisma(Intimidation)check. Otherwise,heandhisthreefriendsattacktotaketheringbyforce.SirDandeleoneisaveteranandhisassociatesarethugs.OnceDandeleoneistakencareofonewayoranother,theplayerscansafelyentertownandenjoytheEpilogue.

Epilogue

SirDandeleoneofLavenderisnofurtherthreattoyou,andthelastofthecluesfinallycometogetherregardingthenightofdebaucherythatledtoyouwakingupinastrangeforest.Intheaftermath,youfeelasthoughyoumightjusttakethingseasyforawhile.EvenasyouknockbackanotherglassattheSlobbyDrunkTavern. Thenyouturntoseeamanapproachyourtable,hisarmscrossedinanger.Helooksvaguelyfamiliar,andsportsanangrywoundabovehisupperlip. “Youowemefivehundredgoldpiecesforthewagonandhorsesyoustole,plusthealeIwasdelivering.”ThefigureleansheavilyonthetableandglaresdirectlyatHannah.“AndI’llhavemygodsdamnmoustacheback,ifyouplease.”