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Tales from Ancient Greece

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3. THESEUS AND THE MINOTAUR

HERMES Wee!IlovetoflylikethisovertheAegean,therollingsea betweenGreeceandtheisleofCrete.Icanseeashipdown

therewithagreatwhitesail,carvingitswaythroughthewaves...andwheneverIseeashipheadedforCreteitremindsmeofanotherthatmadethatsamejourney,onlythatshiphadablacksail…

I’lltellyouwhy.Cretewasoncethemightiestislandinthesea

–andallbecauseofagreatinventor.HisnamewasDaedalusandhisspecialitywasinstrumentsofwar.Hemademachinestoflingrocksatcitiesandwrecktheirwalls…

MINOS Loosethecatapults!!!

HERMES …andotherstohurlfireandseteveryroofablaze…

MINOS Andgivethemflame!!!

HERMES AndthankstoDaedalus’sterribleinventions,Creteanditsking,Minosbyname,weresoonmastersofallthesurroundinglands.Butyoucouldn’tcallMinosorhispeoplehappy.Because,well,theyhadabitofaproblem…

ItwascalledtheMinotaur.Itwasamanfromthefeetasfar

upasthewaist,butfromthewaistup…itwasahuge,black,massive-hornedbull.Nooneknewwhereithadcomefrom,butitrampagedthroughKingMinos’spalace,smashingdownthewallsanddoorsandeatinganyoneitcaught.

Obviouslyitcouldn’tgoon,soKingMinoscalledforhisinven-tor...

MINOS Daedalus!Surelyhe’llcomeupwithsomething.

DAEDALUS I’vehadanidea,mylord.

MINOS Ithadbetterbegood!

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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DAEDALUS I’mgoingtobuildalabyrinth!

MINOS Awhat?

DAEDALUS Amaze!

MINOS Notwithyou.

DAEDALUS Abafflingwebofwindingtunnels,deepdowninthepalacevaults,fullofdeadends.

MINOS Goon.

DAEDALUS We’llluretheMinotaurintothelabyrinthandit’llneverfinditswayout!It’llbetrappedinsideforever!

MINOS Brilliant,Daedalus–gettowork!

HERMES SoDaedalusgottowork.Andwhenthis‘labyrinth’wasfin-ishedtheyluredtheMinotaurdeepintothemaze…andsoonitwascompletelybaffled…anditcouldneverfinditswaybacktotheentrance!Buttherewasasnag.Thebeastgothungry-ofcourseitdid.Andbeinghungrymadeitmadderthanever…andtheroaringandbellowinginthevaultsmadethepillarstrembleandthepalaceshake.Itwentondayafterday…

MINOS Thenoise!Ican’tsleep,Ican’teat,Ican’tlivelikethis! Daedalus,whatcanwedo?

DAEDALUS I’vehadanotheridea.

HERMES Butthisideahadnothingtodowithinventions.

DAEDALUS TheMinotaurneedsfeeding.

MINOS Ye-e-es…

DAEDALUS Anditonlyeatshumanflesh.

MINOS Ye-e-es…

DAEDALUS Andthankstomyweaponsyouhavemasteryofallthesur-roundinglands.

MINOS Ye-e-es…

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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DAEDALUS Youcandemandtribute,taxesinwhateverformyoulike.

MINOS Ye-e-es...

DAEDALUS So?

MINOS Notwithyou.

HERMES Minoswasn’tthebrightestkingyou’veevermet.Hewas powerfulandrichandlookedthepart…buthehadn’tgotalot

uptop.

DAEDALUS Soaskforpaymentfromthoseotherlands…intheformoffood.FoodfortheMinotaur.

MINOS Butitonlyeatshumans.

DAEDALUS Yes.

MINOS Sowhatdoweaskfor?

HERMES Whatwashelike?Buteventuallyhegotit.

MINOS Ha,ha,ha.Ohyes,Daeadaluswelldone.Whataverygoodidea!

HERMES Everyyeareachoneofhisconqueredcitieswastopayatrib-uteintheformof-you’veguessedit-people.Youngmenandwomen,allofthemtobesenttoMinos’spalaceandintothelabyrinthtofeedtheMinotaur.IrememberthesceneinAthens,astheyoungpeoplegatheredtodrawlotstoseewhichofthemweretobesent…

MINOS FromAthensyoumustsendfourteen–sevenyoungmenandsevengirls.

HERMES Imagineyournamegoingintoabagknowingthatifitwaspulledoutyouweregoingtobeeaten!

*****

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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HERMES Sothedrawingoflotsbegan.Andaseachnamewasdrawnwell,someoftheyoungAthenianstriedtobebravebut,well,youcanimagine.Butthen,abovethecrowd,onthepalacesteps,IsawthekingofAthens–Aegeuswashisname–argu-ingwithhisson,youngTheseus.SoIflewoverandlistenedin.

AEGEUS Theseus,no!Iwon’tallowit!

THESEUS It’sonlyright!Listentoyourpeople’ssuffering!

AEGEUS You’remyonlyson!Heirtothethrone!Youmustn’tgo!

THESEUS Onlysixyoungmenshallbechosenbylot.Ishallbethe seventh.

AEGEUS Theseus–!

THESEUS IshallkilltheMinotaurandbringouryoungpeoplehomewithme–ordieintheattempt.

AEGEUS Theseusmyson,Ibegyou!

THESEUS No,father.Imustdothis.

AEGEUS ButhowshallIbearwaitingforthenews?

THESEUS You’llknowassoonasourshipappears.We’llmakethecross-ingtoCreteunderablacksail.ButifIkillthemonsterandwereturnalive,thesailIhoistwillbewhite.

AEGEUS I’llwatchthehorizoneveryday,mybrave,bravesonandprayforawhitesail,awhitesail!

HERMES SothefourteenyoungAthenianssailedacrosstheAegeanSeatoCrete.KingMinos’ssoldiersgrabbedthemwhentheyarrivedandledthemuptohispalace.Andassoonastheygottheretheycouldhearitbelowthem:theMinotaurinthelabyrinth,itsbellowsshakingthefloors.KingMinos,though,wassmiling…

MINOS You’llbesentintothetunnelsonebyone.Youmightbeabletoeludehimforawhile–buteventuallyhe’llhuntyoudown.AndthenI’mafraidhe’lleatyou!

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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HERMES Whatapickle,eh?Theseuswasbrave,forsure,buthowwasheevergoingtosavehispeoplefromamonsterliketheMino-taur?TheseusandtheotheryoungAtheniansweretakentoadismalcellandlockedupforthenight.Iwasflittingaroundthepalace,wishingIcouldhelp,whenIsawacloakedandhoodedfigurehurryingtowardsthecell,clearlynotwantingtobeseen.Ayoungwoman-andshehadsomethinginherhand.Sheun-lockedthedoorandslippedinside…

THESEUS Whoareyou?Anotherprisoner?Orhaveyoucometomockus?

ARIADNE Prisonersdon’tusuallycarrykeys.AndI’venowishtomockyou.ImaybeKingMinos’sdaughter,butIdon’tsharehis

cruelty.

THESEUS Minos’sdaughter?!

ARIADNE MynameisAriadne.AndI’vecometohelpyouescape.

THESEUS Whyso?

ARIADNE Ican’tbearthissavagery.WhateverhascausedtheMinotaurtoterroriseushere,it’snofaultofyours.

THESEUS Thenhowwillthebeastbefed?

ARIADNE Itwon’tbe.Itmustbekilled.Andyou’retheonetodoit.Andwhenyouleavehere,takemewithyou!Takemeawayfromthisterribleplace–takemebacktoAthens-andmarryme!

HERMES Well…understandablyTheseuswasabitsurprisedbythat…buthemanagedtosay:

THESEUS Er–yes!YesIwill!But–howexactlydoyoumeantohelpme?

ARIADNE Withthis.

HERMES Andthat’swhenIsawwhatshehadinherhand.

THESEUS Aballofthread.

ARIADNE Yes!Andthis.

THESEUS Ah!Asword!

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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ARIADNE TheMinotaurisaterriblebeast,buthemovesslowly.Ifyou’requickyoucankillhimwiththesword.

THESEUS I’lldomybest!

ARIADNE You’rewonderingaboutthethread.

THESEUS Well,er–yes.

ARIADNE Noonewhoentersthelabyrinthcaneverfindthewayoutagain.Usethethread.Unwinditbehindyouthroughthetun-nels,thenfollowitbacktotheentranceonceyou’vekilledtheMinotaur.

HERMES Nifty,eh?Anyway,nextmorningtheguardscametothecellatthecrackofdawnandaskedwhichofthefourteenwas

goingfirst.Theseusstrodestraightout,headheldhigh,andwasledtotheentranceofthelabyrinth.Iguessedhe’dhavehiddentheswordsomewhere–uphistunic,probably–butIknew,Ijustknew,he’dforgetthethread!

Iflewupthetunnelafterhim,and–sureenough–theballofthreadwasstillstuckinhispocket!Honestly!SoIyankedtheendoutandletitdanglesohecouldseeit…

THESEUS Ah,thethread!

HERMES AndthenhestartedintothetunnelandIfollowedbehind.

*****

HERMES So,Theseusstartedtospooloutthethreadbehindhimashewounddownthepitch-darktunnels,gropinghiswayalongtheslimywalls.Andthen…

THESEUS What’sthatnoise?

HERMES Onlyonethingitcouldbe.

THESEUS TheMinotaur!

HERMES Yes.Andithadcaughthisscent.

THESEUS Whereareyou,monster?

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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HERMES Hewasseriouslybrave.Youcouldtellhewasscaredbuthedrewhisswordandmarchedstraightofftowardsthebellow.Butashemadehiswaytowherehethoughtthenoisewascomingfrom,itsuddenlywentdeadquiet.

THESEUS Whereareyou?Comeandfaceme!

HERMES Youcouldn’tseeathinginthedarkness.

THESEUS Keepittogether.Youcandothis.

HERMES Theseusgropedhiswayalongawall.Ihopedhewasstillspin-ningoutthethread,orhe’dneverfindhiswayback.Cometothinkofit,neitherwouldI!Hecarriedongroping…

THESEUS Itmustbethisway.Butwhat’sthisIcanfeel?No!

HERMES He’drunintoanotherdeadend–thelabyrinthwasfullofthem.He’dhavetoturnback.WhereonearthwastheMino-taur?Andwhywasitsoquiet?

THESEUS Ahhh!!!

HERMES Don’taskmewhathappenednext–Icouldn’tseeathing–butitwaslikebeingintheshopofsomemadbutcherwho’dlostcontrolofhischopper.Thensuddenlytherewasadeafen-ingroar–aterriblecrash-ashoutfromTheseus–

THESEUS Aaahhh!

HERMES -andasquelchychoppingsound-andIknewitsheadwasoff!Iknewthisbecause(a)nomoresnortingand(b)–andthiswastheclincher–Theseuswasyelling:

THESEUS Ihavethecreature’shead!I’veslaintheMinotaur! HERMES Butthen-suddenly-Theseusdidn’tsoundsocheerful.

THESEUS Thethread.Where’sAriadne’sthread?

HERMES Oh,great,Ithought!Nowwe’restuckhere!

THESEUS Ah,here,Ihaveit!

HERMES Itookitallback.Icouldhavekissedhim.

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

THESEUS Blessyou,Ariadne:you’vesavedme.

HERMES Yes,Ariadnedeservedsomecredittoo.AndTheseusfollowedthetrailingthread,windingitallbackupagain,retracinghisstepsthroughthelabyrinthtillhefoundhimselfbackattheentrance.

THESEUS Ariadne!Princess!Areyouthere?

ARIADNE Theseus!You’realive!Andthemonster?

THESEUS Dead!

ARIADNE Oh,Theseus!Comequickly!Backtoyourship!Run–beforemyfatherknowsI’mgone!

HERMES AndalltheAthenians,savedfromdeath,raceddowntotheharbourwheretheirshipwasanchored,hoistedthesail,theblacksail,andpulledawayfromtheshore.

ARIADNE Oh,Theseus!You’verescuedyourpeople!

HERMES ‘Noproblémo’,Ihearyousay.‘Sorted.’Mnn.’Fraidnot.Firstoff,itwasalongwaybacktoAthens.SoTheseusstopshalf-way,atanislecalledNaxos,togetfreshwater.Andohdear:NaxosisafavouritehauntofthegodDionysus–andhe’sabitofawildoneisDionysus.HeseesAriadnewhileshe’shavingaswimand…

ARIADNE Oh!Help!Help!

HERMES …thenextthingsheknowsshe’sonMountOlympus…inthepalaceofthegods,marryingDionysus,who’sfallenheadoverheelswithher.Meanwhile,backonNaxos,Theseuscan’tfindheranywhereofcourse…

THESEUS Ariadne!Myprincess!Ariadne!

HERMES SobacktoAthenshehastosailwithouther.Andhe’ssocutupthatwell,disasternumbertwo.Rememberthisfromearlier?

AEGEUS But how shall I bear waiting for the news?

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

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3: Theseus and the Minotaur

THESEUS You’ll know as soon as our ship appears. We’ll make the cross-ing to Crete under a black sail. But if I kill the monster and we return alive, the sail I hoist will be white.

HERMES Aneatidea.Onlyproblemis,Theseusissoupsetatlosing Ariadne…

THESEUS HowwillIlivewithouther?

HERMES …thatheforgetswhathe’smeanttodo.Sothere’shisfather,Aegeus,uponthecliff,lookingouttosea,waitingfortheship,andwhatdoesheseecomingoverthehorizon?

AEGEUS Ablacksail!Black!Oh,Theseus!Mybelovedsonisdead!

HERMES He’sdevastated.Andwhatdoeshedo?

AEGEUS Aa-a-a-h!!!

HERMES Hethrowshimselfoffthecliff…kerbloosh,straightinthesea.Whichiswhyit’scalledtheAegean.TheAegeanSea–afterAegeus.Sothereweare:TheseuskillstheMinotaur…buthelosesPrincessAriadneandheloseshisfather.Well,Isupposeyoucan’talwayshaveahappyending!