sodomy and spirituality

SODOMY AND SPIRIT{JALITYby Phil Hine

I remember very well the first time I got fucked.Exhausted and relaxed after all-afternoon sex, I laysprawled on my boyfriend's bed and uttered thosefateful words "do anything you want with me".From the corner of my eye, I saw him pick up aglass bottle in the shape of a unicorn, filled with ayellowish liquid, and I knew what was about tohappen. I had no fear, only a deep sense ofrelaxation. It didn't hurt, but at the moment ofpenetration, one self died and another was reborn. Ameaningful 'initiation' that gave me insights which Iwill now attempt to collect into a coherent article.

What feelings does being fucked stir within me?Two words perhaps describe them best - abandon-ment and possession. In being fucked, I amabandoning my ego-defences, opening myself at adeep level to another person, and able to cast asidethe socially-crafted 'masks' I put on to deal with theworld. I allow myself total pleasure, and thepleasure of my lover. I cross back and forth betweenthe borders of ecstasy and agony, until I ammoaning and crying uncontrollably; soft liquid firein my belly and a fierce tingling that seems mostdiscernable at my fingertips. I haven't yet had anorgasm from being fucked alone, but thep, ejacula-tion and orgasm are mostly two differentexperiences for me, and ejaculation seems unimpor-tant, compared to the sensations which threaten, itseerns, to tear my body apart when a lover is insideme. A lover's orgasm within me brings about afeeling of deep peace and satisfaction. I feelrevitalised, and can go forth into the world with aninner glow. I regret deeply, in these AlDS-conscioustimes, that I cannot receive into myself a lover'ssemen. Yet it is as though in abandoning myself toanother, I reaffirm my sense of selfdom.

At the same moment that I abandon myself, I ampossessed. This is difficult to write aboui, but it islinked, I feel, to a common misperception aboutintercourse - the concept of 'active' and 'passive'.For myself, I prefer the words 'giver' and 'receiver'.Our miserable, patriarchal conditioning has givenrise to the conception that 'active' = 'masculine' and'passive' = 'feminine'. I have increasingly come toreject this sort of thinking. Just because one person(male or female) takes a lover's penis into theirbdy, doesn't necessarily mean that they are'passive'. This is clearly illustrated in the Tantric

icons of Shiva mounted by Kali. Social conditioningis strong enough to make some Gay men feel thatanyone who takes it up the arse is somehow lessthan 'male' beczuse abandoning oneself to pleasureis not appropriate 'male' behaviour. Why not?Penonally, I feel that being fucked is a celebrationof my maleness. I hardly ever feel that I haverelinquished my personal power (unless of coursethere is role-play of 'surrender' as a sexual game).

I often feel a sense of power 'over' the lover whofucks me. His pleasure and ejaculation reaffirms myown inner power. Somewhere in his magical diaries,Crowley said something to the effect that he liked tothink that "when a man fucks me, it is because I ambeautiful". The exhaustive records of Crowley'ssexual opera (such as The Paris Working) show thathe much prefened !o be the receiving partner whenit came (pardon the pun) to homosexual sex-magick.Yet the importance of his sex-magick with partnerssuch as Victor Neuburg has tended to be overlookedby those who have inherited his magical philosophy.Any ideas why?

The intensity of these feelings - of abandonmentto pleasure and possessing another, and at the sameinstance, of being possessed, I have encountered inanother setting; that of the shades of trance rangingfrom overshadowing of a spirit upon my conscious-ness, to the full possession by a spirit during ritualand dance. The possession-trance is dubiouslyregarded in western occulture, just as allowing aman's cock inside them is anathema to many men.In many ways, allowing my pyche to be entered bya spirit (Goddess, God, or whatever) stirs the samefeelings as being physically fucked. The key seemsto be the conscious or willed displacement of theego tro another - of offering up my body as a vehiclefor the transmission of energy. Crowley hinted ofthis in his essay on devotional magick @haktiYoga), Liber Astarre (Magick, p4ffi - 471). Theultimate in Bhakti is being entered by the spirit oneis working with. One Beltain, I drew the GoddessEris down from above me and Pan from below me -they met somewhere in the middle and I lostconsciousness in their climax.

Jean Genet suggests that a homosexual relation-ship "obliges" men to discover the 'feminine'elements within the pyche, but that it is notnecessarily "the weaker or the younger, or the more

Everything is Permitted 27

gentleofthetwo,whosucceedsthebetter;butthewhich-havelong'beenrepressedisgenerallyamore experienced, who may be ]!e .oo'git""i iii" ry*".tfYi

source 6f "n"tgy'

which can be magically

older man." lgueretii-oi ai"t'!' There is 6me truth directed' of course'

ffHffi#F*_?ffi ffiiui,tr conditioning

-and what is supposed to be

^C.,ts -'- =-:- 'F g

imaicutine' and Tfeminine' qualities. Thus we are -==#Gt=* : F iffi

Sii:*t*"""H:,",i'l'H: '#'il'T"li.f,:i E"rno,ion.

and be intuitive are feminine and that

int"ff-"auuf analysis is masculine' Says who? Femin-

isi critlques of conditioning make lhlnoint that we

onfy- nio* what masculinity-. and femininill a-re

u.ilr"t" irt"y have been specifically defined' Work-

;lt'"1#J*l"J:T*Ttff:i:i{':"'JiT'"qff[ .iA€ .;€=.,

'"X;f"lf; :"Jil[1i[::''il"tff'Hil;j:tt .:gff..=#,, .--=#:,i#il5il:'lJ,l'*:x'"-"*"-r#*#t?"x*": iT=nffi.,,,,and still give your penis to another man' You can

celebrate the masculine elements of pyche and still

receive another man's cock into vou"tri'6oJo.'*i t"*t1-P:::':Ji:,tl,,Y"f ;: T|*#su'fl::T';ff$::'l#1fi#f;"il: ffiffiil"*il g1f g trea*t homosexuarirv in one or two wavs'

humans _ afrer alr, what would be the p"i*"ir Tr,rv There is "irh",

th" atrmonition rhat it is wrong - it

were? Imposing our nalrow limits uponft.t it ti' blocks your chakras' 're,:^e:ses' the kundalini or

miss the whore point of invoking them. I invoke to ,creates'a dark astral vortex', or more positively,

go beyond my pres.ent-ilti,u,ioni - to join momen- that the gender of partners doesn't matter' and that

tarily with somethlng.greater, o, out iOe-il'A; the 'eneigy' is-the.saine'.Obviously I prefer the

sometimes my lovei becomes to me . coo, oi u tutt", poiition, though,I feel that things are not that

Goddess . or is that too freaky for you? simple. rtre writers" 11il^"]:."'. to this latter view

An early conditioning_block for me was the tend to stress that sex-magick only works properly

mistaken assertion that fro-m a Tantric poin, oi ui.*, within an established relationship' which is true to a

sex between men had no value. g"*.t.t, .t i point,. U"i *^ify excludes all the faces of Gay

became more comfortabre with ,nv rr.iing, -uno

i:*1. culture *tti"tr straight society finds so

longings for sex *in-..", I soon OisatuseJ?ysef disturbing -,angny1-ojrt.:"*; S&M' and group sex

of this notion. From experience, t "un'L"y1ilii i p.r,i."i.fiv rn tne uK at least, there seem to be few

have had equally strong Tantric op"ri"ilJ.r"ii,i E:tl*ti" are attempting to write intelligently (or

menaslhadpreviouslywithwomen.Sensations*o,.i.po'tantly,re,etinet2aboutthepossibilitiessuch as the 'Bliss-wave'; seeing ty rou*JuintJ in of Cay-frtitive "iantra' ino tne only group which

gold light; the total-body orgasm. .ni il;;;;tA proviO'es' suppor-t and magical approaches specifi-

sensitivity to kundalini aciivity are just.-as-possible cally taitorid for gay- men is the international

in a homosexual parrnership as in_ a #;.fr',o;;r vo,iooo'N"twork. H;tr;fuqy., as the issue of spiritua-

one. Anal intrr"ouo" -i. 'un enectivJ'-i;t ;i lity raises its profile within the wider gay com-

srimulating *re murJhar.-"hukr., despite"wnl;il; ;i"try, and moie gay occultists declare themselves'

sex-magic manuals ;;;ht *y' r'*ouid.*"y that my this situationwill change' ,re to assert that be'

sexual experiences *iti otn6r nr"n tnutT'u"ti^ grtltJ'1 ^ Jo, "o*lude then' I dare to assert that being

rise ro the experiencei describeo in raniril'V;lt;i. ryked or iuctcing p, {gt me, an intensely sacred

have been all the more powerful due to the obvious experience; tnat siirituality.lies in the celebration of

element of catharsis - being able to u"tuiii" desires pleasure 'uihtt

than the denial of the body'

Nothing is True

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