romance love and academic excellence: putting things in proper perspectives

Love, Romance & Academic Love, Romance & Academic Excellence : Excellence :

Putting Things in Perspective.Putting Things in Perspective.A Talk Presented on ACAS Nite of 2015 A Talk Presented on ACAS Nite of 2015

by by Jon Ita Jon Ita

Contents• Background• Defining our terms • Our Objectives • We all Have needs • Our Theories• Our Research Findings • What is the way forward.• Conclusion• References

Background

• Today, there is an increasing need to mingle and belong as a form of societal demands and arising from the stresses associated with academic.

• In the words of the English Poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, he once said that relationship was a “Sheltering Tree”.

• Thus it is safe to say that relationship is everything.

Background • University students are synchronizing their

time in both academic and romantic aspect of life.

• Engaging in romantic relationship enables students feel that someone cares for them, shows affection to them, loves them, etc.

• However, it is important to ask, does every students benefit from the romance on campus?

Defining some of our terms

What’s the difference between real love & infatuation?

What does love mean to you?

What is the difference between truly being in love and infatuation?

Always remember sex does not = love!

Academic excellence is the demonstrated ability to perform, achieve, and/or excel in scholastic activities.

It is about achieving high grades and superior performance.

But is more than just making good grades, it is a mind set.

Our Objectives

To examine the effects of romantic relationships on the academic performance of students.

Profer working solutions that will help them create a balancing act for maximum productivity.

We All have Needs.• Our greatest need is the

need for friendship, love and attention.

• Adolescents crave to have an intimate romantic relationship to which love is given and received without restriction.

The Need to Belong Theory

All humans share a common need to be connected with others, and common sense signals that individuals’ lives are better for being connected.

The Need to Belong theory Contd

The “need to belong” has two aspects:

(1) people want a stable and enduring context of concern and caring,

(2) people need frequent interaction with the same person.

The “Social Exchange” Theory

• Frequent interaction with friends or individuals will come at a cost and benefits to the actors.

• Material or non-material things that each one gives will become costs on the part of the giver while these will become benefits on the part of the receiver.

The “Social Exchange” Theory Contd Romantic relationship costs

include: Stress Worry about the relationship, Sacrifices, Increased dependence on the

partner, fights time and effort feeling worse about the self

The Tuface • The two faces of life,

namely, romance and rcademics uses the same Operating System namely , Spirit, Soul and Body.

• They run on the same currency called TIME.

Our Research Findings • 28% of students’

waking hours were spent just by talking to their romantic partners and it did not include the time they spent in listening to their romantic partners.

• That an average American 13-18 years old sent or received 1,742 test messages per month.

Our Research Findings contd’• Benefits in romantic

relationships : such as “companionship,

• feeling of happiness or elation,

• exclusivity, feeling loved or loving another, intimacy, self-growth and self-understanding, and more positive self-esteem

Our Research Findings contd

• These benefits are the causes of motivation for students in pursuing their studies.

Our Research Findings contd’

• Costs of romantic relationships tend to cause more anxiety among students than their academic stresses.

• It is proven that there is a relationships between romantic relationship, the academic performance of individuals and its effect.

Our Research Findings contd’• “Quality personal relationships

that providestability, trust, and caring such as

romantic relationships can increase learners’ sense of belonging, self-respect and self-acceptance, and provide a positive climate for learning” and thus increase

academic performance.

• However, these relationships are short lived and last for only 6 months to 1 year.

• Thus frequent break-ups which causes anxiety among students.

Our Research Findings contd’• Relationships and

academics sometimes are like water and Oil .

• On one side, the student is spending time with his/her lifelong partner, but on the other side, the student is busy trying to fulfill other responsibilities in school like writing projects, studying, and maintaining grades.

What is the way forward ?

Build a Relationship by Purpose

8D

•Disregard U •Delay U •Disappoint U •Disrespect U •Divide U •Deceive U

Build an Xcellent BRAND U

• Hunger for excellence• Benchmark against the best• Believe that you can do it• Build strategy & plans.• Go all out; Work really hard• Focus your efforts.• http://

www.lifeoptimizer.org/2009/09/04/steps-to-achieve-excellence/

Recommendations

• Build Relationships on Purpose • Manage your time in order not

to affect your academic performance.

• If in a relationship, you should be aware of the anxieties that romantic relationship would bring, so be better prepared.

Conclusion

References • Allen, A. (2010, February 9). Does having a relationship affect academic

performance? The Knight Times Online. Retrieved August 30, 2011, fromhttp://my.hsj.org/Schools/Newspaper/tabid/100/view/frontpage/s choolid/2632/articleid/333995/newspaperid/2631/Does_having_a_rel ationship_affect_academic performance.aspx

• Ashimolowo, Matthew. (2006). Be the best: 9 powerful keys to a succesful life, Mattyson Media Uk London.

• Campbell, W., Oliver, M. B, & Sedikides C. (1994). Perceived benefits and costs of romantic relationships for women and men: Implications for exchange theory. Personal Relationships l, 5-21. Retrieved from http://www.soton.ac.uk/~crsi/Perceived_benefits.pdf.

• Furman, W., Brown B., &Feiring C. (Eds.). (1999). The Development of Romantic Relationships in Adolescence. Retrieved from http://www.du.edu/psychology/relationshipcenter/publications/pdfs/MissingtheLo veBoat.pdf 3. E-

References • Lucas, M. R., & Corpuz, B. (2007). Facilitating learning: A metacognitive

process. Philippines: Lorimar Publishing, Inc.• Luqman, M. (2009). Effects of romantic relationship on self-esteem,

identity and academic performance.National Undergraduate Research Clearinghouse, 12. Available online at http://www.webclearinghouse.net

• Myers, D. (2010). Social psychology. London: McGraw-hill Companies.