of parents affection to their children
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O f Parents dffefthn to t h i r
Children^
6y
fage to fome over
o t he rs ;
whereby the f trongeft and
m o ft courageous have lorded it over the weaker, and
acquired a part icular rank and reputat ion, f rom
whence i t obtained that d ign i ty o f
appe l la t i on ;
or elfe
•that thefe, being very w ar l ike nat ions, gave the
pre-eminence to the vir tues w hic h were moi l : fami l iar
to th e m , and to w h ich they had the beft t i t le . Ju f t
fo , i t is ow ing to our paff ion, and the feverifh fo l ic i tude
we have of the cha ft ity o f w om en , that a good w om an ,
a woman o f w o r th , and a wom an of honour and v i r
t ue ,
f ignify no m ore , w it h us , than a chafte w o m a n ;
as i f , to ob l ige the m to this d u ty , we were indif ferent
to
ail
the re ft, and gave the m the reins to all oth er
faul ts whatever, on con di t ion they wo uld not be g u i l t y
of incont inence.
C H A P . VJ IL
O f th e Ajfetf ion o f P a r e n t s to t h e i r Ch i ld ren*
To Madame 4 ' E S T I S S A Q
M a d a m ,
"WF
the
ftrangenefs
and novel ty o f m y
fub jee l ,
wh ich
JL are won t to give a value to th ing s, do no t fave me ,
I fhall never come off with honour from this foolifh a t
t e m p t
;
but it is fo
w h im f i ca l,
and has
fo
uncom m on an
afpedt, that t h is , perhaps, may make it pafs. I t was
a m elanch oly h um ou r, and by confequence a h um ou r
very much an enemy to m y n atura l co nf t i tu t ion , engen
dered by the ch agrin of the fol i tud e into w h ich I have
caft myielf for fome years
pair,
that f ir ft put into my
head this id le w h im o f com m encing an author: and
afterwards, being total ly deft i tute of any other
fub jedt ,
I was ob liged to tru ft to myfelf both for the thef is and
the argum ent. I t is the only bo ok of its k in d in th e
w o r l d ,
on a
plan
fo w i ld and
ex t ravagan t ;
nor is the re
any th in g w or thy of rem ark upon th is
occa f ion,
but the
F 3 w h i m -
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• j ' 0
M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .
whimficalnefs o f i t ; for the beft workm an in the wo r ld
co uld not have give n a fo rm to a fubjecvt fo v a in an d
fr ivo lo us , fit to recomm end i t to ef teem. N o w , M a
d a m ,
being about to draw my own picture to the l i fe,
I
mould
have for go t one feature o f im po rtan ce , ha d I
pot therein reprefented the vene rat ion w h ic h I always
pa id to you r m e r i t : and this I chofe to m ent ion in the
b eg in nin g o f the prefent cha pter, by reafon tha t a m on g
yo ur other excellent qu al i t ies , th a t o f the affect ion
w h ic h yo u have rnanifefted to you r ch i ldren has a place
i n one o f the high eft claffes. W h o e v e r hears at w ha t
age M .
d'Eftiffac,
your hu fban d, le f t you a
w i d o w ;
th e great and hon ourable matches th a t have been o ffer
ed to you,
as.
rnany as to any lady in France o f yo ur
rank ; the conftancy and fteadinefs with which you have,
for fo many years, and in oppofition to fo many crofles
^ n d di f f icult ies, fuftained the weight and management
o f the ir affairs, wh ereby yo u have been teazed in almoft
every part of
France,
and the happy t ra in you have put
the m into by your own prudence or good
f o r t u n e ;
he
w i l l be ready to fay w it h m e, tha t we have n ot , in ou r
t imes,
a mpre l ively inftance of maternal affection than
yours. G o d be prai fed, M a d a m , that i t has been
em ploy ed to fo g ood purpofe ; for the great hopes tha t
M . d'E f t i ffac , the fon , g ives o f h im fel f , are a
fufficient
w arra nt, th a t, when he comes of age, you w i l l reap f ro m
.him the obedience and grat i tud e o f a very go od fo n .
•But as, by reafon o f h is tender years, he is no t in a
capacity to take not ice o f the ma ny ex trao rdin ary
k in d offices w h ic h he has received fr o m y o u , I am
w i l l i n g th at, i f thefe papers happen t o fa l l in to his
-hands fome day when I have no fpeech left to declare
i t , he mould receive this true teftimony f r om me , wh i ch
w i l l be mo re fu l ly proved to h im by the good effects
w h i c h , w i th God 's
pe rmi f f ion ,
w i l l conv ince h i m , tha t
there is no t a gen tlema n in France wh o owes m ore to
his m othe r tha n he do es; and tha t he cann ot, for the
•future,-
give a furer teft im on y o f his goodnefs and
v i r tue ,
than by ack now ledg ing you for fo excellent a
mpther0
I f
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O f P&rlnts Affefoicn to their Children.
* ] \
I f there be any law tru ly na tura l, th at is to fay, any
inft inft that is uni-verfally and perpe tually How it happens
imprinted bo th on man and bea ft, (w h ic h Hiattheaffec-
is a di fputed point) -I mav give it as my twn of parents
. . r . l y .' t> . to then- children
op in ion , that, next to the- eare w h ich j3 greater than
every an imal has o f felf-prefe rvation ,
thatofchii-
and o f avo iding every th in g that is hu rt- pa,-",^,' e'f
f u l , the affection w h ich the breeder or
tegetter bears to the offspring Hands in the fecond p lace:
and becau-fe nature feems to have implan ted it in us ,
for the purpofe of fupporting the fpecies, it is no w o n
der tha t the love o f ch ildren does not go back to the ir
parents in fo great a degree. T o w h ich we may add
this other A r i i lo te l ian n ot io n, that he wh o does a bene
f i t
to any one, loves hi m better tha n he is be loved b y
h i m ;
and he to w hom a benefit is d ue, loves m ore
than he who owes i t : fo* every artifice r is fond er o f his
workmanship t han , i f that piece of .work had fenfe,
i t would be of
h i m ,
becaufe we love exiftence, and
exiftence confifts in m ot ion and aclion : for this reafon
every one has, in fome for t , a being in his w ork . H e
who does a good office, performs an action that is
brave and h o n e d : he wh o receives i t oniy praclifes
the utile. N o w the utile is not near fo am iable as the
honefium.
T h e
honejlum
is l iable and permanent, fu p -
plying h im wh o has performed i t w i th a conftant fatif-
fa t f l ion. T h e utile lofes itf e lf, and eafily Hides away ;
nor
is the m em ory
of
it either fo
frefh
or f ragrant. T h o fe
things are deareft to us that have coft
m o l l ,
and g iv ing
is more chargeable than receiving.
Since it has pleafed G o d to endue us w it h fome capa-
eity-of -difcuffing
th ings,
to the end tha t we To ]]at end
may not be flavifhlyfiibj-edt, like the bru te men are created
animals, to the com m on laws-of nature, capable of rea-
i i • i c i i iomng.
out that we may apply ourielves to them
wi th judgment and
f r e e -w i l l;
we ou gh t indeed, to y ie ld
a l i t t le to the mere au tho ri ty o f nature, bu t not to fuffer
ourfelves to be tyrann ically hu rried away by her ; for rea
fon ou gh t to be the
fole conductor
of our incl inat ions.
Fo r m y ow n pa rt, I have a ftrange difguil to thofe pro-
F 4 pcnfities
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1% M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .
pcnfities
that ftart up in us w i th o u t the direc t ion and m e
diat ion o f our ju d g m e n t : as for in ftance, w h i le I am
treating of the
fub jec t ,
I cannot entertain the paffion o f
da nd l ing infants in the
m o n t h ,
when they have no ap
parent perception in the f ou l , nor fhapeofbody to make
th em am iab le ; and I never w i l l ing ly
fullered
them to
be nurfed in my prefence.
Such an affection for children as is real , and wel l re-
What ought
to
gulated> ought t0 fPring and increafe
be
the love
o f w i t h t he kn o w le d g e t he y g i v e u s o f
t h e m -
pu-ri »nts
t0 their
felves ; and
t hen ,
i f they are w or th y of
children. . ' . '
• •
. .
J ,
i t ,
natural
p ropen i i t y ,
w a l k i n g
in
the
fame pace w it h reafon, w i l l make us cherifh t hem w i th a
fondnefs truly
p a te rn a l;
i f they are othe rwife, we o ug h t
i n the fame manner to exercife our jud gm e nt o f th em b y
always fubmit t ing to reafon, notwithHanding the power
o f na ture. B u t it often happens on the
c o n t r a r y ;
and,
generally fp ea kin g, we are more fm it ten w it h the caper-
ings and filly fro l ics o f our ch ild re n , than we are after
wards w i th the i r actions when they are directed by j u d g
m e n t ; as i f we had loved th em for our p af l im e , as
m on ke ys, not as hum an beings. A n d there are
fome
w h o furnifh the i r ch i ldren bo un t i fu l ly w i th p la yth ing s,
yet grudge the leaft neceflary expence fo r the m wh en
they are grow n up . N a y , i t feems as i f our being more
niggardly and clofe-fifted to the m proceeded fr o m ou r
envy at feeing them mak e a figure, and enjoy them felves
in the wo r ld when we are on the po int o f leaving i t . W e
are vexed to fee th em tread up on ou r heels, as i f they
vranted us to be gone ; and if this fhould be real ly ou r
fear, fince fuch is the order of thing s tha t ch ild re n
can
not, to fpeak the t ruth,
exift
no r l ive b u t at the expence
o f our being and l i f e , we mould never have concerned
burfelves in get t ing them.
For my par t , I th ink i t cruelty and injuftice not to ad-
Fathers ought
to m ^
tnem into a ftiare and partnerfhip o f
admit their
chiu
our fubftance , nor to
aflbciate
them in the
theTrfubtSnc^
fecret of our domeftic
affairs whe n th ey
are capable of fuch knowledge ; and that
i t w o u ld be altogether as w ick ed for us not to
le f len,
abr idge,
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0 / Parents AffeSiion to their Children:
y *
^-bridge,
and contract our own conveniencies, on
pur-
pofe to make provision for the irs, f ince we begat th e m
for tha t end . I t is un ju f t , tha t an ol d father, battered
with age, and with one foot in the grave, mould enjoy
alone, in his chimney-corner, the fubftance tha t wou ld
fuffice
for the maintenance and advancement o f feveral
ch i l d ren ;
and that he mould fuffer them to lofe the belt
o f their t im e , for w ant o f al lo w ing th em the means to
p u t themfelves forward in the fervice of the publ ic, and
the
knowledge of mankind.
T h e y are hereby drive n to a defperate purfuit o f me
thods, how uniuft foever, to provid e for their .,,
'. J . T i i • Young men
own u ip p o r t : as I have kn ow n, in m y of good fami-
t ime ,
feveral yo un g men o f good extrac- lies forced to
t i on , ib addidled to th ef t , that no correction to fupp°y ^
co uld cure the m o f i t . I knew one o f an
thfir
necef-
honourable fami ly, to whom, at the requeft
uies'
o f a brother of his , a very honeft and brave gentlemans
I fpo ke once up on this fub jec l . H e confeffed to me,
ve ry fra n k ly , tha t he had been forced into this d ir t y
road by the feverjty and avarice of his fa th e r; and th at
now he was fo accuftomed to it , that he could not leave
jt o ff : and at this t im e be ing , w it h feveral others, at
a lady's levee, he was caught filching her jew els . I t p u t
me in m in d of a f to ry, w hic h I had heard o f another
gen tleman fo habituated and acco m plifhed in this f ine
profeffion in his y o u th fu l days, th at when he came to
his paternal
eftate,
and determined to abandon the prac
t ice , he co u ld no t pafs by a (hop where there was any
th in g that he wan ted, w i thou t
ftealing
i t , though he had
the difgrace o f fend ing the money afterwards to pay for
i t . A n d I m yf e lf have feen feveral fo ad dicted to this
c r ime ,
that they could not even forbear pi l fer ing things
from their companions, though with an intent to reftore
t he m. I am aGa fcon , yet there is no vice that I am lefs
acquainted w ith than th is. I
hate
i t fome thing
more
b y
difpofition
than I condemn it by difcourfe. I have no t
fo m uch as a defire for any t h in g tha t is another m an's.
T h is province of ours is, in t ru th , a l i t t le more in dif
grace than the other parts o f the French na tio n ; and yet
we
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j 4 M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .
ive have
feen,
in ou r t im e , feveral m e n , o f good famil ies}.
o f other provinc es, in the hands o f
j u f t ice ,
after being
convidted o f many fhocking robberies. I wifh the fa
thers are not, in forne meafure, to blame for this
vice
o f
the fons.
I f a man
fhould
te l l m e, as a no ble m an , o f v ery good
Bad excufe of un de r i landin g, once d id , that " he ho ard-
the fathers., who -(c ed up wealth for no other ufe and ad-
hoard thdr mo- « vantap-e but to make himfelf honoured
jiey
to
gain
the ,
°'
, , . .
.
.
. .
morerefpedl
and cou rted by
his
k i nd red ; and t ha t ,
from their chil- « age ha ving depr ived h im o f a l l other
"
a b i l i t y , i t was the
fole
remedy he had
*c lef t to keep up his authori ty in his family, and to pre-
" vent his fa l l in g into the contem pt and fcorn o f the
*' w or ld ( tho ug h in t r u th , accord ing to
A r i f t o t l e ,
not
" .only o ld age., b u t every in f irm ity is the pro m ote r of a-
" varice:)
th is is fay ing fo m e th in g , bu t i t is
phyfic
for
ei a difeafe of w h ic h we oug h t to a void the fource.'"
Very
miferable
is tha t fath er, w h o has
r.o
other h old
The means by of his childrens affecTtion ( i f this deferve
which a father tke name 0f affecl:ion) but the need in
Jhould procure , . , , n j r
1 /
rr r t t
therefpeftof w hic h they i tan d or his ai i if tanc e. H e
his children.
muft
render himfel f worthy of
refpedt
b y
his vir tue and
w i f d o m ,
and o f love by his bo un ty and
engaging behaviour. E ve n the ve ry allies o f a r i c h
material
have the ir va lue , and we are
accuflomed
to
have a refpecl: and reverence for the bones and reliques
o f perfons o f t rue w o rth . T h e old age of a m an w ho
has palled his days in honour, muft always be venerable,
and pa tt icular ly to his ch i ldre n, whofe m inds he m u ft
have formed to their duty by reafon, not by the necef-
fity and the need they have o f h i m , nor by roughnefs and
force.
—et errat longe med quidemfenlentid,
Qui imperium credat effe gravhis aut Jlabttus
V i quod fit, quam Mud quod amicitid adjungitur * .
And he extremely differs f r om my f tn fe,
W h o th inks the povv'r obtain 'd by vio lence
* Terrent, Adelph. acl i. fc, i .
vtr.
39.
c
.in
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O f Parents Affeftlon to their Children, 7£
Can ever prove more folid and fecure,
Than that which fr iendfhip's fofter means procure.
I condemn all violence in the education of tender minds
th a t are to be trained up to honou r and l i - violence in the
be rty. Th ere is I know not wha t ferv i l i ty education of
in r ipour and conftra int , and am of opi- - children con-
" .
,
1 1 1 r demned.
mon
that what cannot be done by reaton,
prudence, and addrefs, is never to be effected by force.
I
myfelf
was b ro ugh t up after this
manner;
and they
tell me, that, in my firft f tage of l i fe, I never was whip
ped bu t twic e, and that b ut ge ntly . I intended to have
prasftifed the fame me thod w i th m y ch i ldren, who a l l
died at nurfe, except Le on ora, m y only daug hter, w ho
is fix years o ld , and upw ards : fhe never has had any
worfe correction fo r her childifli fau lts, and for the re
gulat ion of her
conduct
(by the ea'fy concurrence of her
m other 's indulgence) than wo rds, and thofe very ge ntle.
A n d , though my def i re fhould herein be
f ru f t rated,
there are other caufes to be blamed, without reproach
in g m y di fc ip l ine , w hic h I kn ow to be ju f t and natural .
I fhou ld have been more ferious, in this
refpedt,
towards
the ma les, as bo rn to lefs
fub ject ion,
and a ftate of
greater l iberty, and
fhould
have aimed to have enlarged
their hearts w it h fincerity and franknefs . I never ob -
ferved that whipping had any other effect than to ren
der thofe -who fuffered it m ore dafta rdly , or more ha r
dened
in wickednefs.
Do we wifh to be beloved by our ch ildren ? D o we de-
fire to deprive th em o f a ll occafion to w ifh The tnie
wa„
-
fo r
o u r
death
?
( t h o u g h
no
occaf ion
o f fo for
parents
to
h o r r i d a w i f h can be e i ther juf t o r ex -
S,3'1.1
tl .e,',ove of
r 1 1 tvt J7 r i • 7 7 • their children.
cu i ab l e , Jyulium Jcelus rationem babet, 1. e.
No cr ime * is found ed upon reafon) let us giv e th em
a ll the reafonable accom modations o f l ife tha t are in
our pow er. I n order to this we fh ou ld not m arry fo
yo un g tha t our age may ha ppe n, in t i m e , as i t we re, to
be confounded with t he i r s ; for this inconvenience
plunges us into many diff icult ies . I addrefs this p a rt i
cular ly to our gentry, who have l i t t le or nothing to do,
f Ex Crat. Scipionis Africani apud Tit, Liv. lib,
xxviii.
cap, 28.
and
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* j 6 M o n t a i g n e ' s
E s s a y s ,
and l i v e , as they ca l l i t , o nly up on th eir efta tes ; for, as
to others w ho have th eir l ive l iho od to ge t , the num ber
and fociety o f th eir chi ld ren is an advantage to the ir
m a
nagem ent o f affairs, they bein g fo m any new tools and
inftruments
wherewi th to grow
r ich .
I was ma rr ied at th ir ty -th re e years o f age, and
c o m -
The
moft m end
Ariftotle's
o p in ion , w ho , i t is fa id, ap-
properage proved o f th i r ty - f iv e . P lato , wh o was a-
for marriage.
gainf l ;
marr iage before th i r ty , had reafoft
to r idicule thofe who enter into that f tate after f i f ty- f ive,
and he
condemns
their i f fue as unworthy of a l iment and
l i f e .
Th ales gave truer l im i ts to i t , w h o , being
preiied
by his mother to m arry whilft he was your>c}
{/.a
" It
" was no t yet t im e * ; " and being urge d again to i t ,
w he n he was advanced in years, re pl ie d , " I t was too late
" i n l i f e . " W e muft no t imp l i c i t l y refign ourfelves to
every im po r tun i ty . T h e ancient Gauls tho ug ht i t a m of t
reproachfu l th ing f for a man to have fociety w i t h a w o
m an before the age o f twe nty , and efpecially r e co m m e n d
ed i t to the men wh o defigned themfelves fo r war, to keep
the i r v i rg in i ty t i l l w el l grown in years, forafmu ch as c o u
rage is abated and diver ted by copulat ion with woman,
Ma hor congiunto a giovinetta fpofat
£ lie
o
homai
de
figli,
era
invil ilo
N e gli affetti d i
padre,
e d i marito
£ .
But now he has a fpoufe that 's young and fair , -»
H i s courage is abated, and his care I
H i s w i fe and chi ldren a l l be tw ix t th em
fhare.
J
MuleafTes,
k in g o f T u n is , wh o was
reftored
t o h is d o m i
nions b y the em peror Charles V . reproached the m em or y
o f h is fa ther M ah om et, for kee ping fo m uc h comp any
w i th the wom en, c a l l ing h im " loofe, effem inate, and a
" ge tte r o f ch i ld re n. " T h e Greek hiftory obferves of
Iccus
§ the T aren t ine , C hry f fo , A f t y l l u s ,
D i o p o m -
• Diogenes Laert. in the Life of Thales, lib. i. fe£t. 26.
' -J- What Montaigne afcribes hereto the Gauls, Ciefarfays exprefsly of
the Germans,
de Bello
Gallico, lib . vi. i%ui
diutiffime impuberes pertnan-
Jerunt,
maximam
inter
fuos jerunt
laudem,
&c.
\ II Taffo Gierufalem liberata , Canto x . Stanza 39.
§
In a ll the editions of Montaigne that I
conld
ever get
a
fight of, not
exceptiug the translation by M r.
Cotton,
it is Jecus indeed of
lccus.
pus
'»
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O f Parents Afftttion to their Children. ' j j
pus ,
and others, th at, for the fake of keep ing their b o
dies in due ftrength for fervice at the O ly m p ic gam es,
wre f t l i ng , and the lik e exercifes, they denied themfelves
a ll com m erce w it h Venus as lo n g as that fervice
lafb-
ed * . Th ere is a certain coun try in th e Spanifh W e l t
Ind ies , where the men are not allowed to m arry t i l l they
are turned o f f o rt y , and yet the gir ls are pe rm itted to do
i t at ten . I t is no t t im e for a gentleman o f thirty-five
years o ld to give place to his fon w ho is twen ty , he be -
ing
him fe lf in a capacity to ferve in w arl ike ex pe dit ions,
or
at
his prince's c ou rt, and ha ving fo m uc h
need of
al l
his accoutrem ents, that tho ug h he ou gh t certainly to
par t wi th a fhare to his fon, yet it mould not be fo great
as to leave himfelf un furnifh ed : and fuch a one m ay
juft ly m ake ufe o f the fay ing comm on in the m ouths o f
fa thers :
" I have no m in d to put off my cloaths before
"
I go to b e d ."
B ut a father wh o is bowed d own w ith old age and i n
f irmities, and dep rived o f the com m on fo- , c
-1 .
L •
,: , • t i i • , r i -A father that is
ciety or m an kind by his weakneis and Superannuated
want of heal th, in jures both himfel f and
?ush"° Sive UP
i
•
r -i i i j - _
r
his eftate
to his
ms
fa m i ly, by bro od ing, to no purpofe,
qWM.
over a great heap o f treafure. H e has lived lo ng e-
nough , i f he be wife, to have a defire to ftrip, I do no t
mean, to his
f k i n ,
but to his
f h i r t ,
and a wa rm
n igh t
g o w n ,
and take to his bed-cham ber, furren de ring a ll
other grandeur, of which he has no further ufe, to thofe
to w h om it ou gh t to belong by the law of nature. I t is
but reafon that he fhould leave the ufe of it to the m , fee
in g nature has deprived h im o f the enjoym ent o f i t ;
othervvife there is , undoubtedly, ill-nature and envy in
the cafe. T h e greateft adtion that ever was performed
b y the emperor Charles V , was w he n, in im ita t io n o f
fome of the ancients o f h is qu a lity , he confeffed, that
reafon plainly commands us to ftrip
ofFour
cloaths when
they grow too heavy and cum berfom e, and to l ie do wn
when our
le^s
fa i l us : for when he fou nd h im fel f
def i
cient o f the fp ir i t and ab i l i ty for co nd uc ting
affairs,
w i th
*
Pbtode
Legibus,
lib-,
viii. p.
6-47.
the
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5 ^ 8 M o n t a i g n e ' ? E s s a y s :
the g lo ry w h ic h he had there in ac qu ired , he refignecT-
his revenues, grand eur, and powe r to his fo n .
Solve
fenefcentem
mature
fanus equum,
ne
Peccet ad
extremum
ridendus, et ilia ducat
*<;
The o ld worn courfer in good t ime
d i fmi fs ,
Le f t fa l l i ng in the race fpeftators hi fs.
T h is fau l t o f a man's not kn ow ing h im fe l f in t im e ,
and of being infenfible of the feeblenefs and extreme al
terat ion w hic h age natural ly br ings w ith i t , and w h i c h ,
in my opin ion, equal ly affects bo th the fou l and bo d y,
(and the f ou l , perhaps, as m uc h m ore again than th e
body) has funk the reputat ion o f moffc of the great men
in the w or ld. I have kn o w n , in m y t im e, and been i n
t im ate ly acquainted w ith
fome
perfonages in great po wer,
w h o , i t was eafy to d i fcern, were ftrangelv lapfed from
the ab il i ties w h ic h I was fure they were once endued
w it h b y the re pu tat ion they had acqu ired in the ir beft
days : an d, for the fake of their h on our, I have w ifh e d
them
at hom e at their eafe, di fcharge d of the ir p u b l ic
and m i l i ta ry em ploym ents, w hic h were gro w n too heavy
for the ir m oulde rs. I was for m er ly very fam il iar in the
houfe o f a gentlem an who was a w ido w er, and very
o l d , yet he arty, wh o had feveral daughters m arr iage ab le,
and a fon too of r ipe years. Such a fa m ily br ou gh t u p
on h im many v i f i ts , and a great expence, w h ic h he d id
not much l ike, not on ly in regard to f rugal i ty , but much
lefs becaufe, by reafon o f his age, he had take n up a
courfe of l i f e far different fr o m ours. I laid to h i m ,
one da y, a l i t t le free ly, as I ufed to do , tha t i t w o u ld be
com e h im better to give place to us , to let his fon have
his pr incipal houfe, ( that being the only one he had that
was convenient and well farniihed) and to retire to an
eftate he had ha rd b y , where nobody w o u ld tro ub le his
repofe, becaufe he could not
otherwife
avo id our im po r
t u n i t y , considering the condi t ion of h is chi ldren. H e
to o k m y advice afterwards, and fou nd benefi t by i t . I
do not mean, tha t a m an fliould m ake over w hat he has to
* Horat. lib, i, ep,
i .
ver.
8, 9,
his
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Of Patents JjfeStion to their Children. f y
f tis ch ildren in fuc h a manner as to difable h im fr o m re
t rac t ing . I
myfelf,
w ho am ju f t at the age for ad in g th e
fame pa rt, w ou ld let them have the enjoyment o f m y"
houfe and fubftance, b ut w it h a power o f revoc ation, i f
they gave me occafion for
i t :
I w ould leave the m the
ufe thereof, becaufethey w ou ld be no longer proper fo r
me ; and , as to the au tho ri ty over the w h ole , I w ou ld re-
ferve to myfel f juf t what fhare of i t I tho ug ht f i t , ha v
in g ever been o f op inio n , that i t muft be a great fat if-
fad:ion
to an aged fathe r, for h im fe lf to p u t his
children
into
the way of managing his affairs,
and to
have power,
d ur ing h is l i fe , to controul their behaviour, fupplying
them
w i th in f t rudion and advice f rom his own fund of
experience, and for h im fel f to d ir e d his fucceflbrs irt
the w ay of p refe rvin g the ancient hono ur and order o f
his fa m il y , and by that means be fure of not
bein°-
d i f -
app ointed in the hopes he may conceive o f their fu tu re
c o n d u d ; to this end I wo uld not avoid the ir com pan y,
bu t wou ld have'a ftrid eye over them , and pa rtake, as
far as m y age w ou ld pe rm it, o f their
feafts
and jo l l i t y .
I f I did not l ive amongft th em , (w hic h I could not do
w ith o u t fp oi l in g their m irt h by the morofenefs of m y
age,
and the com plaint of m y ai lm ents, and w itho ut
pu t t i ng a conftraint upon the rules and forms of l iving
I
fhould
then have
eftablifhed)
I would at
leaft
live near
to th e m , in fome part of m y houfe, not the belt for
fhew,
but the moft comm odious. I w ould not be l ik e
a dean of St . H i l a ry o f P o id ie rs , w ho m I faw, fome
years ago , abandoned to fuch a folifary ret irement, by
reafon o f his m elancho ly, th a t, when I entered h is
cham ber, he had never ftirred out of i t in twenty two
years,
and yet all his motions were free and eafy,
favlng
a rheu m that had fa llen upon his lungs. H e w o u ld
hard ly fuffer anybod y to come and fee h im once a w eek ,
but a lways kept himfel f fliut up in his chamber, alone,
except
th i t
he had
fornething
bro ug h t to h im once a day
to eat, by a fervant, who did bu t juft come in and go ou t
again. His em ployme nt was w alk ing up and down the
r o o m ,
and reading a bo ok , ( fo r he had a (m atter ing o f
learning) be ing obftinately bent to die in-thi-s
ret i reme nt,
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2 6 M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .
as he did
fbon
af ter . I w ou ld endeavour, b y eng aging
converfat ion, to breed a l ively and unfeigne d fr iendship '
and good-will in m y ch i ld ren towards m e, w h ic h , i n
well-difpofed mindsj is not hard to d o ; for, i f they are
mad brutes, of which this age produces' thoufand's, we
muft
then abhor
andfhun
t hem.
I hate the cuftom o f for b id d ing chi ldren to ca l l the i r
Children ought father h?the name of fatiier> and en jo jn -
iiot to be forbid in g th em to ufe an oth er, as m ore reve ren -
to call them by
t \ a \ .
a3 j f natUre had not fufficiently p r o
ber,
v ide d for the ef ta b l i f l im en : o f our au tho
r i t y . W e invoke the A lm ig h ty G od by the ftyie o f Fa
the r , and yet fcorn that our ch i ldren fhould cal l us fo ;
This is an error * w hic h I have reform ed in m y fa m i ly .
It is alfo fo l ly and injuftice to depr ive chi ldren, when
Children that Srown UP> o f , fam i l ia r i ty w i th the ir fa -
are grown up thers, and to th in k to keep the m in awe
ought to be ad- anc[ obedience by their fathers alTuminp;
lrntted to a
fa-
n •,
Jr ...
°
miliarity with an auitere and lupercihous countenance
their fathers. tow ard s th e m . F o r i t is a mere farce
t h i s , w h ic h , fo far f rom anfwering the end, renders the
fathers difagreeable to their ch i ldr en , an d , w ha t is worfe,
r id ic ulo us . T h e y have yo uth and vig ou r o f the ir fide,-
confequen'tly the countenance and favour of the wor ld,
and only lau gh , w i th contem pt , a t the haughty,- ty ra n
n ica l , and fcarecrow looks of a m an wi th o u t b loo d ei ther
i n his heart or his veins : th o ug h I co uld m ak e myfelf
feared, yet I had much rather be loved.
T h e re are fo m any var ious defects in o ld age, fo m u ch
Inftance
of
an
d i fa b i l i ty , and i t is fo l iable to co nte m pt,
old man who th at the belt purcha fe fu ch a m an can
aiming to be
m ake is the love and kindne fs o f his
formidable, be- £ .
came contemp- fa m il y , co m m and and ter ror b e in g n o
tlble-
longe r his weapons. I have k n o w n a
certain m an , w h o , h av ing been very infolen t in his
* The good King Henry IV. reformed it alfo in his family, for Pere-
fix
fays,
he would not have his children call him
Monfieur,
or Sir, an
appellation which feems to make the father and the children ftrangers,
and which is a mark of
fubjeftion
and
fiavery
; but that they fhould
call him Papa or Father, an appellation of love and tendernefs. Hiftory
of Henry the Great, p. 503,
y o u t h ,
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O f Parents Affection to the ir Children. 8 r
yo u th , when he came to be o ld , th ou gh he was in as goo d
he alth as co uld be, yet w ou ld lay about h i m , bite his
teeth ,
fvvear, ftorm, and
bluftcr
more than any bully in.
Franc e, a prey to his ow n jealo ufy and vigilance ; and
a l l
owino;
to the com bination of his fa m ily , wh o have the
command of the belt {hare of his barn, cel lar, and
m o -
ney-cheft, though he wil l fooner part with his eyes than
the keys in his purfe : w hile he hugs h im fe lf wi th the
fru g a l i ty and niggardl inefs o f his table, in al l the de
tached parts o f his houfe there is n oth ing bu t r i o t i n g ,
play, and
profufion
of expence, and cra ck ing of joke s
at his fruitlefs cho ler and ca utio n. Eve ry one is a cen -
tinel againft h i m , and i f , by accident, any wretch tha t
ierves him takes his part, they inftantly make him l iable
to his fu fp ic io n , this be ing a b ait tha t o ld age is apt e-
n o u g h ,
o f i t fel f , to fnap at. H o w oft has this gen tle
m an boafted to me in what great awe he ke pt his fa m il y ,
and how exact an obedience and reverence
they paid
h im
H o w clearly d id this man fee into his ow n affairs
llle Jolus
nefcit
omnia * .
Yet he alone is ignorant of all*
I do not know any man that can mufter more parts, both
natural and acq uired, proper to m aintain fuch a d o m i
n ion ,
than he, yet he has no more com m and of the m than
a c h ild : therefore I have f ingled h im ou t, as the mod
exem plary inftance o f al l tha t I kn ow o f fuc h a temp er.
It
were a
fubjedt fufficient
for a
queftion
in the fchools,
" W h e th e r he is better thus than other-wife ? " I n his
prefence a ll fubmit to him, and give fo much way to his
van ity , tha t nobody ever refi lls h im : he is as much be
l ieved,
feared, and
refpected
as his heart can
def ire:
Does
he give a difmiffion to a fervant ? he packs up his bun
d le , and is gone , bu t it is no farther than ou t o f his
prefence : the pace o f o ld age is fo flo w , and the fenfes
then fo confufed, that the discarded per fon wi l l live and
officiate , as be fore , in the fame houfe, a year togeth er,
wi thout be ing
perce ived;
and , when it is a proper fea-
* Terence
Adelpli. a£t
iv. fc, i . ver 9.
V o l . I I . G fon ,
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8? M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .
for i , letrcrs are pretended to come from a great way
off^
very p i t i f u l , fup p l ian t , and fu l l o f p romi ies o f am end
m en t, by vi r tu e of w h ic h he is again received int o fa
vo ur . Does MonSieur m ake any b ar ga in, or fend away
anv difpatch that does not pleafe
?
it is
fuppref fed,
and
reafons enough invented af terwards, to excufethe fa i lure
of the execut ion, or of the
anfwer.
As no firange le t
ters are brought to him in the
firft
place, he never fees.
any but thole that are thought f i t to be communicated ;
i f, by accident, they
come
f ir f t to his
hand ,
as he is
ufed
to tru ft a certain perfon to read th em to h i m , he
reads,
extempore, what he pleafes, and every now an d
then makes Such a one afk his pardon in the fame
lettef
"'herein he abufes h i m . In f ine , he fees n o th in g bur
by
fome fiction -prepared
and precon certed, and
themofr.
Satisfactory tha-t can be invented, for fear of roufing his
ch ag rin and cho ler. I have feen enough o f lo n g and
conftant
fcenes
of
ccconomy
of different
f o rms ,
but
al l to
the fame effect.
W o m e n a/re always apt to crofs their hufbands i n c l i -
r>\A ~ s» n a t i o n s * . Thev lay h o l d , w i t h bo th
hand s,
Old men
oe-
•> J ' '
ceived by their o n a l l occasions t o q u a r re l w i t h t h e m , a n d
V V 1 V C E the firft excuSe ferves for a plenary ju s t i f i
cat ion.
I knew one w h o made no
confeience
to rob her
huSband by wh olefalc, th a t , as fhe to ld her
confefibr,
Ihe m ig h t have the more to g ive in cha r i ty . N o m a
nagement feems to the m of Sufficient dignity r i f proceed
in g f rom the husband's
conceff ion.
T h e y muft ulurp it,.
either by craft or iniblence, and always injuriously, in or
der to give it a grace ami au thority : as in the cafe
L a m ,
Speaking of, when it is again St a poo r o ld m a n , and in-
favou r of the ch i ldr en , then they ma ke a handle of th is
plea, and render it fubfervient to thek paffion w i t h g l o
r y ;
and,,
as in a co m m on Servitude,
eafrly
cabal
rgainft
his do m inion and gov ernm ent. I f they be males-grown
u p and flourishing, the y alfo Suddenly Suborn, either by
* What I here
fay is not to
approve, but only to
explain
Montaigne'sopinion
;
for, perhaps,
1
have feen
as
many hufbands violently thwart
ing their
wives,
as wives that
are
fond of croifuig their lwlbands.
forced
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O f Parents AffeBion to their Ch ildren. 83
force or fav ou r, the fteward, the rent-gathe rer, and
all the reft.
Thole
men who have neither wife nor
c h i l d ,
fa l l not
fo eafily in to this m is fo rtu ne , b u t , when others by their
they do, they fuffer more cru e lly and u n - domeftics.
deferv ing ly. O ld Cato
fa id ,
in h is t im e ,
" So
many fer-
" van ts, fo many enem ies." Confider
t hen ,
whether,
according to the difference betwixt the purity of the age
he l ived in , and the co rrupt ion o f the prefent, he d id no t
mean to advertife us, tha t w ife ,
fon ,
and ferva nt are
(o
many enemies to us. I t is o f good fervice to decrepid
old age, that i t furnifhes us wi th infenfibility and igno
rance,
and a fac i l i ty o f being deceived. F or, did we
fee and repine at it, what would become of us, efpecially
in fuch an age as th is , when the jud ge s, wh o are to de
cide our controverfies, are generally pa rtial to the y o u th ,
and interefted in the caufes
?
I n cafe th a t I ftiould no t
difcover this fraud, I cannot, at leaft, fai l to difcern that
I am liable to be chea ted, and can a man ever exto l a
fr iend too m uc h in com pa nion w ith thefe c iv i l ties ?
T h e very image o f it , w h ich I fee fo pure in beafts, how
do I adore it I t others cheat m e, at leaft I do no t de
ceive myfelf in thinkinglam able to guard againft them,
or in cudgel l ing my brains
how
to avoid
their
fhares.
I
protect myfelf from fuch treachery in ray own bo fom,
not by a reft lefs and tu rb u len t
cur io f i tv ,
bu t rather by
m ir th and refo lut ion . W h e n I hear ta lk of any one's
cond i t ion , I do not give my fe l f a thought about h im ,
bat I
prefently
look into myfelf to fee how it is with me :
whatever touches another, concerns me : the accident
tha t has b efallen h im is a w arn ing to m e, and
roufes
m y atten tion on tha t fide : every day and every ho ur
we fay things o f another, w h ich we m ig h t more pro
perly fay oi ourfelves, could we but call our obferva-
tions ho m e, as w ell as extend them ab roa d: and feveral
authors have, in this man ner, prejudiced the ir ow n
caufe,
by running precipi tately againft that which they
attack, and
d.irting
thole
very fhafts againft their ene
mies,
tha t m ig h t, w ith greater advantage, be caft back
upon themfelves.
G 2 Th e
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84 M o n t a i g n e ' s Ess
A y ? .
Tbe late marflial de Monluc hav ing loft h is Ion , wli(>
Fathers ought to ^ied *n tne i^and o f M ad eira , and was, iti
exercife a
farm- t r u t h , a bra've ho pe ful yo un g ge ntle m an ,
liarity with their difcovered to m e , amongft his other
children when . . . D .
they arecapaWe cacries ot regret t ing h i m , what a ior row
ot
lt-
i t was to h i m , tha t he ha d never been
fami l ia r w i th h im ;
and
th at , by the hu m ou r o f p aterna l
gravity and gr imac e,he had lof t the advantage ot f o u n d
in g and tho rou gh ly k no w ing h is fon , and
alfo
o f de
claring t o h im the ex t raordinary love he had for h i m -
and the worthy opinion he had of Ms v i r tue . " W h e r e -
"
as, faid he, the poor y o u th never faw me w it h any
"• other countenance towards h im b u t w h at was fterii
" and d i fd a in fu l , and has left th is w o rld w it h a be l ief
" tha t I neither knew how to love nor efteem h im ac-
"
co rdin g to his m er i t . Fo r w h om d id 1 referve the
"• difcoveryof
that l ingular
affection
w i t h wh i ch I
loved
<c hii'n f ro m m y fou l ? O ug h t not he h im fe l f to have
" had a ll the pleafure o f
i t ,
and a l l th e ob l igat io n ? I
" coilitrained and even tortured myfelf to wear the f i l ly
" m a lk , and by tha t means loft the pleafure o f his con -
" ver fa t ion,
and his incl ina t ion into the bargain ', w h ic h
*i
co uld not bu t be very cold towards m e,
as
I ha d
a l -
*' ways t reated him ro u gh ly, and more l ik e a ty ra n t than
" a tender fath er . " I th in k this co m pla int o f his was
w e l l founded and r a t i o n a l : for, as I kn ow b y too certain
experience, there is no confolation fo
fweet,
in the
lofs
of our fr iends, as the confeiouihefs o f hav ing acfted to
them without referve, and of having had a
perfect.
and
in t i re communica t ion w i th them.
O
my f r iend
* , am
I
the better for having been fenfible o f th is , or a m I the
w o r k ? I am ver i ly mu ch the better for i t . T h is
lamerf-
ta t io n for the lofs is bo th a co m fort and an ho no ur to
m e : is it not a pious and pleafing office o f m y l i fe to be
always celebrating my fr iends obfequies ? Can there be
any poffef i ion fo valuable as this pr iva t io n ? I open my
• This apoftrophe is
addrefTed,
by our author, to his friend
LaBoe-
flus, as it plainly appears by the difcourfe upon his death, written and
publilhed by Montaigne himfelf, and which you will find at the end of
this edition of the liflays.
m i n d
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O f Parents Afftclion to their Children. 8$
mind to m y fam i ly as m uch as I can, and very w i l l i n g
ly let the m know how they and every one elfe ftand in
m y op inion and incl in at io n. I am eager to br in g ou t
and expofe
myfelf
to the m , being u nw i l l in g they
mould
,be miftaken in me in any thing. Amongft other par
t icu lar cuftoms o f our ancient G au ls, one was, as Csefar
fays, that the fons never came into the prefence o f their
fathers, nor d ur ft be feen abroad in their com pany t i l l
the y began to bear arms ; thereby im p o rt in g , that then
alio was the t im e when the fathers ad m itted them to
th eir fam i l iar i ty and acquaintance*.
I have alfo kno wn another k in d o f indifcretion in
fome
fathers of m y t im e , wh o not con -
~,
,
,,
„
. . - ' . '
The
hnrclheart-
tent with d ep r iv ing the ir ch i ldren,
aur-
ednefsaf fathers
in g the ir ow n lon g l ives, of the
(bare w ip deprive
o o j ^ their ctiilciren oi
they ought naturally to have in their
the produce of
fortunes, when they come to d ie , transfer their eftates,
.1 • • .1 r ii even after their
to their wives the lame power over a ll death.
the ir goods and ch attels, and l ibe rty to
.difpofe thereof as they pleafe, A n d 1 knew a certain
nob leman,
one of the chief off icers of our crown, that,
by r ight o f
fucceff ion,
had an
expectancy
of about
fi f t y tho ufan d crowns revenue, who died neceffitous,
and m uch in de bt, at above fifty years o f age,
at the fame tim e that his mo the r, wh o was a dec repid
o ld woman, ft i l l c ontinue d in poffeffion o f his who le
eftate
by order of his father, who had l ived to near four-
fcore,
I do no t th in k this at al l reafonable.
I am therefore o f op inio n, that i t is o f very l i t t le
advantage to
a
m an who is in good cir-
.
. .
. t> °
, A great jointure
cumltances
to court a w om an who the ruin of fa-
fhall charge his eftate w ith a great j o i n -
miiies.
tu re , there be ing no foreig n debt th at is m ore ruinous to
fam il ies. M y anceftors, in general, fou nd the ir account
by this ca utio n, an d fo have I. B ut the y who diffuade
us f ro m m arry in g r ich w om en, le ft they fhould not
prove fo tradtable and re fpe f t f u l , are w ron g in ad vif ing a
• DeBelloGallico, lib. t i .
G $ man
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grj M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .
man to mifs a real advantage fo r fuch a cont ingency.
Un reafonab le wom en have no rega rd to one considera
t ion more than
another:
they are fondeft of their own
opinions when they are
mol l
in the wrong.
Injustice
is
as te m p t in g to the m as the hon our o f v i r tuou s actions
is to good
w o m e n :
and the r iche r they be , the m ore
complaifant the y arc, as the greatefl beauties take the
molt p leafure and pr ide in being
chalte.
It is butreafon to leave the administration of eftates
widows muft be t0 the m othe rs, t i l l the ch i ldre n are o f age
left
in
a
capacity by law , to manage t h e m ; b u t the fath er
to fupport their has b rought them up very i l l inde ed, i f
condition. , , D r L , J , ,
he has not reaion to hop e,
tha1-,
when
they come to years of m a tu r i ty , they w i l l have m ore
wifdom and capacity than h is w ife , confidering the
weaknefs of the fex : yet in t r u th , i t w ou ld be m uc h
more unnatural to make the mothers dependant on the;
d ifcre t ion o f the ir ch i ldren : they ou gh t to have a
p len
t i f u l provifion wh erewi th to m ainta in themfelves ac
co rd ing to the con di t ion o f their fam i l ies, and their
t ime o f l i f e , foralmuch as poverty is much more un
suitable and intolerable to them than to the males ; and
the bu rthe n ou gh t therefore to be laid rather upo n the
chi ldren than the mother.
I n general, the m oft jud icio us dis tr ibut io n o f our ef-
The
moftpru- tateS '
WnCn We COme t0
d ^ e >
lS > m m)r °P"1_
dent
diflribu- n i on ,
to leave the m to be difpo fed of acc ord-
tionof eftates ing to the cuftom of the cou ntry. T h e laws
before death. . => . . _ , . . ; . ,
have more nicely considered this point than
we have, and it were better to let them be deficient in
their choice, than that we mould ra lhly run the hazard o f
m ifc a rry in g in ours. Th e eitates are not pro pe rly our o w n ,
Since,
by a c iv i l pre fcr ip t ion , and excluf ive o f our
con
cu rrence, th ey are decreed to certain fu cc effo rs: an d ,
a l tho ug h we have fome l iber ty beyond tha t , yet I th in k
we ought not , wi thout great and
manifeft
caufe, to
take
away that f rom any pne w hic h he has acquired by fo r
t une ,
and to which common
juSlice
gave h im a t i t le ;
i t be ing an unreafonable abufe of this l ibe rty to ma ke
i t
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O f Parents Affettion to their Children. 87
it fub fervien t to our ow n fr ivolo us and private fancies,
I t has been m y good fo rtun e, that no opp ortunit ies
have fal len in m y way to tem pt me , and to dive rt m y
affect ion fro m the
common
and legal ins t i tut ion , I
know fome perfons whofe friend sh ip it is impoffible to
fecure by a long feries o f good offices. One word i l l ta
ken obliterates the merit often years. H a p p y is the man
who is prepared to foothe their go od-w il l at this laft paf-
fage.
T h e ac tion tha t was laft pe rformed carries i t , the
operation depend ing not up on the beft and the moft
f re
qu en t offices, b u t upon tho le tha t are m oft recent :
thefe are people that play with their laft wil ls and tefta-
ments,
as w it h apples and rods, to gratify or cha ft ife
every action of thole who pretend to an intereft in their
regard. I t is a matter o f too great length and conie-
quence to be thus bro ug ht upon the carpet at every
t u rn , and what wife men are fixed in once tor a l l , hav
in g a regard , above all thin gs , to reafon and the pu blic
obfervance. W e are, in
fhorr,
too tond of thefe mafcu-
line fubf t i tu t ions, and ridiculoufty th in k to make our
names thereby laft to etern ity. W e alio lay too great
ftrefs on the vain
conjectures
of what
fhall
happen here
after, from the remarks we make on the understandings
o f ch i ld ren . Perhaps I m ig h t have had inju ft ice done
me in being turned out of
niv
rank for having been the
dulleft b lockhe ad, and the longed: and mof t u nw i l l ing
in ge tt ing m y leffon, not on ly o f al l my brothers, b u t
of al l the boys in my native province, whether it was a
leffon for the exercife of the understanding, or of the
bod)r.
I t is a fo l ly to make extraordinary elections by
pla cin g any cred it in thefe div ina tions, wherein we ara
fo
often deceived. I f this rule o f prim og en iture was to
be viola ted , and the deStinies to be corrected in the
choice they have made of our he irs, i t m ig h t be done
more plauf ibly upon the obfervat ion of fome remarkable
and enormous de form ity o f the bod y, a fau lt that is con
stant, and never to be amended,and what we (the French)
who are great adm irers of beaut)', th in k a prejudice or.
no Small importance.
G 4 Th e
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88 M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .
T h e pleafant dia log ue , b et w ixt Plato the legi f lator
Plato's opinion an<^ ^is fe l low-ci t izens, wi l l do honour to
that the diipcfi- th is pa ffage* . " W h a t , fa id t hey , when
tion
of
ettates « ^ y founcj
the ir end approaching;, may
fliould be regu- J , r r r r r . °J J
lated
by the
(e we
not
dilpoie
or our own to w ho m we
laws- " pleafe ? G oo d G o d , how cruel is th is
" T h a t i t {ha l l not be lawrful for us to give w ha t we
" pleafe, m ore or lefs, to thofe abo ut us, ac co rding as
' ' they have ferved us in f icknefs, in old age, and in our
"
affairs
?
T o wh ic h the legif lator makes anfwer in this
<£ man ner, Y e , m y friends, w ho are no w , w i th o ut quef-
" t i on , very foon to die, i t is hard for y o u , either to k no w
" yourfelves, or what is yo urs , acc ording to the D e lp h ic
"
in fer ip t ion.
I , who make the laws, am o f op in ion , tha t
"
yo u neither are yourfelves your o w n ,
nor
is that yours
" o f w h ich yo u are poflefled : both your goods and you
"
belon g to yo ur fam il ies, as w el l the futu re as the pa ft ;
<e bu t yet bo th your fa m i ly and your goods do m u c h
ec more appertain to the p ub lic : wh erefo re, for fear left
"
any flatterer in your o ld age, and in your ficknefs, o r
" any paffion of your ow n, fho uld unfeafonably folicit
*•' \*ou to make an unjufl w i l l , I w i l l guard you againft
" i t : bu t , having refpedt bo th to the un iver fa l intereft o f
"
the ci ty , and that o f your fa m i ly in pa r t icular , I w i l l
" cilabliih
laws, and m ake i t appear, fr o m rea fon, tha t
" pa rt icular benefit ou gh t to give place to the c om m on
<c benefit: go then ch ea rfully where hu m an nece ffity calls
v'' you : i t is m y pro vin ce , wh o have no m ore refpec t to
" one th in g than another, and w h o , as m uc h as in m e
"
l ies, am m in d fu l o f the pu bl ic concern, to take care
iC
o f what
fubftance
you leave behind."
To return to my
f u b j e d t ;
I am fu l ly o f op in ion , that
•Tis dangerous ^"uc^ women are ver)' rare ly b or n, to w ho m
to leave it in the pre rogative over the m e n , excep t th a t
the power of
the which
is m aterna l and na tu ra l, is in any f or t
widows to (hare . . . . r . . 7 J
the fucceflion of due,un lels it be for the punilhment of thofe
thefathers a- w h o , by
fome
amorous paff io n, have
v o l u n -
di°nf 1CirC ' ' tarlly
fu bm i t ted themfelves to them ; b u t
this does no t at a ll conce rn the o ld ladies o f
* DeLegibus, lib.
xi,
p. 96,9, 970. Edit, Wcchel.
Ficini.
w h o m
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Of Parents AffeBlon to their Children. 89
w h om we are now fpeaking . T h is confideration it is
w h ich made us f rame , and fo w i l l i n g ly
fubmit
to that
law, never vet feen by any one, which excludes women
f rom fucceeding to the crown o f Fra nc e; and there is
ha rdlv a lord fhip in the w o rld where i t is not pleaded,
as w ell as here, by the prob ab il i ty o f the reafon w h ic h
gives i t au th o r i ty ; tho ug h for tune has given i t mo re
credit in fome places than in others. I t is dangerous to
leave the difpofal o f our inheritance to the ir jud gm en t ,
accord ing to the preference they give to the ch ild re n ,
which is, every now and then, unjuft and capr ic ious:
for the fame irregu lar appetite, and depraved
rafte,
w hic h they have d u r in g the t ime o f their pregnancy,
thev always retain in their m in d . "We co m m on ly fee
them
fond
of the weakeft and m oft r ick ety ch i ldre n, or
of tho fe tha t are ft i l l hanging at their breafts: for, not
hav ing
fufficient ftrength
o f reafon to
chufe
and em
brace that which deferves it, they are the more apt to
luffer themfelves to be
fwayed-
by the mere impremons
of na ture ; l ik e thofe animals th at know their yo un g
no longer than while they give them fuck.
As to w ha t rem ains, experience p lainly fhews, tha t th is
natural affedtion, to wh ic h we afcribe fo
m u c h au th ori ty , has a very flender roo t.
J ^
Z t ™ Z
t o r a very fmall pro fit, we every day force tural affeftion of
ch i ldren fr o m the arms of their mo thers, ™°'iers t0 their
r . ' children.
and ma ke the m take charge or ours in
the ir room . W e
oblige
them to turn over their infants
to fome p i t i f u l nur fe, to wh ich we di fdain to co m m it our
o w n ,
or to fome fhe-g oa t; not only forb idd ing them to
give the m fu ck , be they in ever fo m u ch danger, b u t
even to take any manner o f care of th e m , tha t their at
tendance may be w ho lly em ployed upon ou rs: and we
fee,
in moft of them, an adulterate affection foon k i n d
led by c u fi o m , an affedtion that is more vehem ent than
the na tu ra l, and greater care taken for pre ferv ing the
nurfe-children
than the ir ow n.
As for wh at I was fay ing of goats, i t is co m m on , a ll
abou t where I l i v e , to fee the co un try -^ omen, when they
have no brcaft-milk of their own for their ch i ld re n, to
cal l
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go M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s :
ca l l the goats to the ir aff i f lance : and I have tw o lac-
The affeaion of <l"eySj at th is inf ta nt , w ho never fuc ke d
goats to children womans m i l k m ore than a week after they
which they give
wcre
b o rn . T h ef e goats are
perfectly
fuck to.
j / -
1 i i • r j
t augh t tocome and iuck le the in ran t s ,and ,
knowing the i r vo ices when they cry, they run to them:
i f any other infan t be pu t to th e m , they w i l l n ot let i t
fu c k , nor w i l l the infa nt fu c k any other go at. I faw
one, the other day, f rom whom they had taken the goat
that
ufed
to
nourifh
i t , by reafon the father had on ly
borrowed i t o f a ne igh bo ur ; bu t the ch i ld w o uld not
touch any other they could br ing, and undoubtedly died
o f hu ng er. T h e na tura l affection o f beafts is as eafi ly
altered an d vi t ia te d as ours. I believe there are m ore
miflakes than one, in what Herodotus wr i tes of a ce rtain
place in L ib y a , where he fays the w om en are in co m
m o n ,
bu t th a t, wh en a ch i ld is able to go alone, the
firft fteps o f na tural inclin at ion lead h im to his real fa
the r, fo that he finds h im out in a cro ud .
N o w , i f we confiderthe occafion of lov ing our chi ldre n,
Men as fond of mere ly
becaufe
we begot the m , for w h ich
the pj-odua>ons reafon we call th em our fecond
felves,
or the
mind,
as . r ,
, . . , - . / T -
of
the iflue
of the re
leems
to be another
kind ot
mue
their loins. proceed ing fr o m us, w h ich is not lefs
w o rth y o f our affect ion. For that w h ic h is ingendered
of the foul, th e iifue of our underftandincc, couraee.
and ab il i t ies, is produced by a nobler pa rt o f us than
the co rpo rea l, and is more our ow n ; w e are bo th the
father and m oth er togethe r i n this generation ; and if
the prod uct has any th in g good in i t , i t
cofts
us much
mo re ,
and brings us more
honour:
for the value
o f our other ch i ldre n is m uc h mo re their ow n than
ours, the fhare that we have in it being very l i t t l e ; bu t
of this iiTue a l l the beau ty, grace, and va lue is our
own, ;
confequently i t rcfembles us, and repreients us more to
the l i fe than the i ffuc of the b od y. P lato adds, tha t
th is o f fspr ing of the fou l is im m o rta l , and bo th im m o r
talizes and deifies i ts parents, as L y c u rg u s , S olo n, and
Minos .
* Hefiod, lib, iv. p,
310.
N o w ,
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O f Parents AffeRion to their Children. 91
N o w , hiftories abounding w i th examples o f the com
m on aifedtion o f parents to the ir c h ild ren , Witnefs tjie ro
I d id not th in k it foreig n to m y purpofe mance of
Helio-
to fingle out one of this other
k i n d .
H e -
£?re> bilhoP of
Jiodore, the good bifhop o f T r i c c a * , ra
ther choie to lofe the digni ty, prof i t , and devot ion of fo
venerable a prelacy
f
than to lofe the daughter o f his
bra in ,
a lady th a t, to this day, makes a genteel ap
pearance, b u t, perhaps too n icely and wa nton ly dreffed,
and o f too amorous a ca ll for the
iffue
of a c lergyman
and a pr ied.
There was at R om e one L ab ienu s, a perfonage o f great
mer i t and author i ty , and, amongft other The writings of
quali t ies, excel lent in al l kinds of li te ra - Labienus.
tu re , who was, as I take it, the fon of that great Labie-
pus,
the ch ief of
Casfar's
captains in the wars of Gaul,
and wh o,
afterwards fiding
w i th
Pompey
theG reat , fo va
liantly maintained his caufe, t i l l Csefar defeated h im in
Spain.
T h is L abienu s, of wh om I am fpea king , was en
vie d by many for his v a lo u r; and i t is very pro ba ble,
tha t the courtiers and m inions o f the emperors o f his
t ime were
difpleaied
w i th h im for his f reedo m , and tha t
Ipirit o f patriotifm which he ftil l retained againft t y r an
ny , and w ith w h ic h , i t may be
fuppofed,
he had t indtu red
his books and w r i t ings. H is adverfaries prefented a c o m
plaint to the magiftracy of R om e againft feveral of th e
wo rks w hic h he had
pub l i fhed,
and caufed the m to be
condemned to the
f l ames;
fo tha t he was made the
firfl;
example of that fort of
pun i ihment ,
wh ich feveral others
at RomeJ afterwards fuffered, by the burning not only of
the ir w ri t in gs , b u t of the ftudies wherein they were co m -
pofed.
There had no t been means and m atter § eno ugh
• Tricca, a town of Upper
Theffaly,
in Greek
T^xr.n.
It is called Tr i-
cea in Cotton's
translation,
by the name being mifpelt in all the editions
of
Montaigne before
this.
+ Than to have his romance
condemned,
which was intitled the Ethi
opian Hiftory. Nicephorus, lib. xii. c. 34.
I
M.
Annseus Senec.
Controv. lib.
v.
from
the beginning.
This fort
of punifhment
has been very much approved by the
Chriftiansj
and,
even at this day, books are burnt, by the common executioner it Rome,
prance, England, &c. •§ Idem, ibid,
of
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T. T
; iV.I O N T A I G N
E 's
E S S A V
S.
of cruel ty , d id not we therewi th confound th ings which
nature has exem pted f r o m al l feeling and
pa in ,
as the
repu tat ion and the inventions o f our un de rf tand ing, and
i f we d id not
infli<ft
corpora l pun i fhm ent on the d i fc ip-
ine and mo num ents o f the
mufes.
N o w * Lab ienus
could not bear this lofs, nor furvive the of fspr ing of his
br a in tha t was fo dear to h i m , b u t caufed himfelf to be
conveyed to and
fhut
up al ive in the funeral monument
o f his anceftors, where he made provifion to k i l l and b u ry
himfe l f a l l a t
once :
it is not eafy to produce an inftance
o f more vehem ent paternal
affedtion
than th is. Ca ffius
Severus,amanof great eloquence, and his fam il iar fr ie n d ,
feeing Labienus's books c om m itted to the f lam es, cr ied
o u t, th at , by the fame fentence, they m ig h t as w el l co n-
demnhim to be bu rnt
a l fo ,
becaufe he carried and re
tained all the contents thereof in his memory -|~.
T h e l ik e accident happened to C rem ut ius C ordu s, w h o
And the
bcoks wasaccufed
o f
ha v in g ,
in
h is
books ,
c c m -
of Cremutius mended Brutus and Caff ius. T h a t bafe,
Cordus. fe rv ile , and co rrup t fena te, w o rth y o f a
worfe mafter than T ib e r iu s, condemned his w r i t ings to
the flames. H e was glad to die w i th th e m , and k i l le d
h imfe l f by fa l l i ng | .
Honeft Lu ca n be ing condemned to die bv that
mif-
lucan's
fond-
creant
N e r o ,
when
he
was in the agonies o f
nefs for his death, moftof that bloodbeing already run
poetry. out 0f the veins of his arms which he had
caufed his furgeon to ope n, and a chilnefs having fe ized
the extremit ies of his body, which began to approach to
the vital parts, the
laft
th in g he had in his m em ory was
fome verfes ou t o f his bo ok o f the ba tt le o f Ph arfa l ia,
wh ich he repeated,and they were thelaffc words he
fpoke §.
,V/hat was this bu t a tender and paternal leave w h ic h he
took of his
o f f -f p r ing ,
reprefenting the farewels and .clofe
embraces
w h ich we give to o ur ch i ldren when we are
d y i n g , and an
effecl:
o f that natura l inc l inat ion w h ich
calls to our rem em brance, in this ex tre m ity , thole thing s
w h ich we held m o lt dear in our
life-time ?
* M.
Annaeus Senec. Controv. lib.
v. from the
beginning.
t Idem, ibid. J Tacit.
Anna . Mb, iv.
•> T.icir. Aanal.
lib. xv, at
the conclufion.
Can
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0 / Parents AffeBion to their Children, 93
Can we fuppofe, that Ep icuru s, w h o , when racked
a l -
moft to de ath , as he fays, w ith extreme WjietI)ei; EPicu-
pains o f the ch ol ic, com forted
himfelf,'
rus would not
how ever, th at he had left
fuch
f ine doc-
}'?ve
preferred
' , . , , , , , Ins writings to
tr ine to m a nk in d , w ou ld have entertained the children de-
fo mu ch
fatisfaftion
in a numb er of
ch i l - tended
from his
dren never fo well born and
b red,
had he
had any, as he d id in the production of his ineftimable
wr i tings? A nd that i f i t
liad
been pu t to his choice to have
lef t an i l l - fav ou red untowa rd ch i ld beh ind h im , or a
f i l ly r idiculo us b o o k , he w ou ld not have rather chofe, as
any othe r man of his ab il it ies w ou ld have done, to have
incurred the f ir ft m isfortune rather than the laft. I t w o u ld ,
perhaps, have been im pie ty in St. A u gu ft in e, for ex
ample , after it h ad been propofed to h im , on the one
Hand,
to bury his wr i t ings, f rom which our re l ig ion has
received fo great benefit, or to bury his children, in cafe
he had any, i f he had not rather chofe to have buried
his chi ldren.
For rny ow n p art, I know not whether I fhould not
much rather have
bep-ot
one perfectly
„ f ( , „. „ .
,- . , <? . . ,' r •' Of the affection
form ed by my convene with the mules, which Mon-
than by th at with my wi fe . T o th is , fuch 'a'S,ne had for
as it is, wh at I g ive , I g ive
abfolutely and
i r revocably, as men do to the fruit of their bodies. That
l i t t le good w h ich I have done for it , is no more at my
own d ifpo fal. I t may kn ow man y things that I no l ong
er kn o w , and ho ld of me that wh ich I have not retain
e d ; an d , i f I f lood in need, I muft borrow from thence,
as m uc h as a ftranger. I f I am wifer than my b oo k, i t
is r iche r than m e. Th ere are few men add icted to
poetry, who would not have been better pleafed to be
the fathers o f the iE n e id , than of the fincft yo uth in
R o m e ;
and w ho w ou ld not have borne the
lofs
of the
latter more c alm ly than that o f the for m er: for, accord
in g to A ri f to t le , the poet efpecial ly, of al l w o rkm en , is
the
fondeft
of his own performances,
I t is fcarce to be be lieved , tha t Epam inond as, wh o
bnafted, tha t he had le ft to pofterity two daugh ters,
that would, one dav, do honour to their father, v i z .
the
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54 M o n t a i g n - ^ s E s s a y s .
the two noble
victories
w h ic h he had
gained
over
fh£
The
fondnefs
of
Lacedemonians)
w ou ld have given his
Epaminondas free confent to exchange them for the
for his two fa- mof l . f l^ning beauties of a ll G re ece ; no r
mous
victories.
. &
,
r . n
,
that Alexander and Lae'ar ever waned to
be depr ived of the grandeur of their g lor ious exploi ts in
w a r, for the advantage of ha vin g children and he irs,
h o w
perfect
and
accomplished
foever. N a v , I m ake a
And of Phidias Sreat quef t ion, whether Phidias, or any
for his fineft other em ine nt
Statuary,
would have been
ftatues.
-r0 foll icitous
for the
prdervation
and
con
t inua nce o f his na tural c h i ld re n , as of an exce l lent fta-
t u e ,
w h ic h he had
f in i fhed ,
according to ar t , w i th long
labo ur and f tu d y . A n d as to thofe vic ious and fur iou s
paffions o f lov e, tha t have fometimes f lame d in the
breafts o f fathers to the ir daugh ters, or o f m othe rs to
their fons, the l ike is al io found in this other fort of pa
rentage; wi tnefs the
ftory
o f Py gm a l i on , who hav ing
made the ftatue o f a wom an o f l ingu lar beauty, fell fo
paffionately in love w ith this wo rkm an fh ip of his, that
the god s, for the fake o f in d u lg in g his ra f f ion , were
fain to put l i fe into i t .
Tentatwn mollefcit
ebur,
-pofitoque rigore
Subfidit digit is * ,
Hard though i t was, beg inn ing to re len t ,
T h e iv 'r y breaft beneath his f ingers benr.
C H A P . I X .
O f th e A r m o u r o f th e P a v t h ' m n s .
T is a vicious and a ve ry effem inate cu fbm of the
gentry of our t ime, not to take arms but in a cafe of
The ill cuftom of extreme neceff i ty, and to lay them down
not being armed aga in upon ever fo li t tl e appearance th a t
till the enemy is t^e danger is ove r. F ro m hence arife
at the
gates.
.p. , r
m any di lord ers ; fo r , every one c ry in g
out and ru n n in g to his arms j u f t wh en he Should take
*
Ovid. Metam.
lib. x, fab. viii.
ver, 41 ,
42.
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