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1
The Malcotte WormsTrilogy
BOOK I
The MalcotteWorms
Daniel D. Watkins
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The Malcotte Worms
Book I
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DanielD.Watkins________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Malcotte Worms Trilogy
Book I
The Malcotte Worms
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for
Viola and Isaac
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First, look what an idle rout our noblemen keep and nourish in theirhouses, which do nothing else but carry dishes to the table and eatthem when they have down; and after, giving themselves to hunting,hawking, dicing, carding and all other idle pastimes and vain asthough they were born to nothing else at all.
Thomas StarkeyDialogue between Pole and Lupset(ca. 1529-32)
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Chapter I
Mr Jaffey took me out to the back gardens and, even as he
showed me around the dilapidated outbuildings and broken
little yards, the flowerbeds seemed to transubstantiate
themselves from shattered rubble into neat, well kempt rows;
broken walls and cracked pavings repaired themselves at a
glance.
And now the place is beginning to look more lived in
again; look at how people will want to come and rent out the
little cottages, said Mr Jaffey.
And, as he spoke, a washerwoman in headscarf and a
white apron bustled out of the doorway of a tiny terraced house
at the end of a crumpled alley. Mr Jaffey smiled and then
turned me towards the wall that separated the reclaimed Yards
from the back gardens beyond. He did not speak, as he led me
through the door in the wall, and he presented to me a scene of
three or four Indian labourers toiling in a far corner of the
Walled Garden. They were wearing long gowns and sported
the usual thick black beards and were intently hacking out a
ditch for what, I presumed, would later be a herbaceous border.
Mr Jaffey glanced at me, as if for my approval but,
before I could nod, a sudden commotion broke out amongst the
navvies. Intrigued, I stepped towards them to see what was
amiss. They ignored me, so intent were they on something that
lay at the bottom of the trench. One menial, who had removed
his tunic and undershirt, swung wildly I should say in a panic
at something in the floor of the trench. I could only see his
upper torso and head, since he was down in the ditch. His
perspiration made the mud on his shoulders and back run in
little stripes as he swung his pick in a frenzy of frustration.
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In my curiosity to see what was causing such alarm, I
took a step closer again. Being better positioned, at the side of
the trench, on a mound of freshly dug earth, I could just about
see what looked like a length of red pipe having the
circumference of a large mans thigh, I should guess.
Suddenly, the navvy with the pick looked up wildly.
I didn't get it! I haven't got it! he cried.
The others quickly ran round to a position behind the
digger; they held up various sorts of strange implements. I,
myself, was a little put out by all this and I glanced at Mr
Jaffey who was now standing beside me. He frowned and
gently touched my arm as if to suggest we should move on; but
my eye was caught by a movement down in the trench: indeed,
the red pipe was moving rather quickly too like the side of a
giant earthworm.
I really think we ought to go now, I heard Mr Jaffey
say. I noted a tone of mild agitation in his voice; but I wanted
to see what was down there; my curiosity grew with the
workers fear.
Now all men were swinging their tools down into the
pit and there then suddenly ensued a great uproar: the red
worms side now seemed to rise up from its disturbed bed of
soil. Arms and picks swung down with great scything strokes.
My goodness! What a sight then met my eyes! For out of that
earth rose up the great red worm, its head already horribly
hacked and hewn about by the men who still beat and chopped
at the neck. The top part of the head had been completely torn
away, and I could discern the lower mandibles, tongue and
much coarse, pink flesh and other, somewhat animated, internal
parts. Yet, the beast still reared menacingly while the hirelings
appearing to me to be more confident now cut and dug with
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their gardening tools. The worm began to sink down as if into
its grave.
I then stole a peep at Mr Jaffey who, as I had been, was
standing transfixed by what had just passed before our eyes:
My goodness, Mr Jaffey! I exclaimed. Then I
sighed, as if further words could not better communicate my
discomposure. Mr Jaffey turned to me, but with half his regard
still upon the hole and the broken body of the worm:
I really think we should return to the Yards now, he
said.
With a kind smile, I showed that I was inclined to
agree.
As we removed ourselves from the little mound of
earth, I asked Mr Jaffey if he could not enlighten me as to the
nature of this worm. I added that it seemed to me not
dissimilar to illustrations I had seen in the Library of the great
anacondas that are said to frequent the lakes and rivers of
South America and other dark places. Such was his apparent
keenness to be getting on, Mr Jaffey did not care to stop or
pause to answer, as we now made our way from the men to the
garden wall. Already, he was within two or three feet of the
door that led back into the Yards; I fancied, even, that he might
have made his exit before I could catch up with him. Yet, just
as I had assumed that an episode of some danger had passed
and that I too should be making my retreat through the wall, all
of a sudden, with no prior warning, I was struck with some
terrible sense of fear and foreboding. As I turned hastily round
to look back at the herbaceous border, I was filled with horror
for, slithering at a ferocious and violent speed, was yet another
worm or anaconda, more hideous and larger than the first: it
was black and the men had had no time to work upon it as they
had done with its evil brother. Most terrifyingly of all was that
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it seemed to be racing quite purposefully and deliberately in
my direction. Its eyes were savage and its great jaws gaped
like the very mouth of Hell itself. Without much ado, I took to
my heels and dashed through the door closing and bolting it
behind me with a neat, deft movement of my hand.
My goodness, Mr Jaffey! I cried. Another terrible
worm was coming down the garden path!
The gate is bolted? he asked, seemingly more
composed than he had been.
I nodded and moved away from the door.
Good, he said, moving on towards the neatened
hovels and tidied flowerbeds and paving. Then let us
proceed.
I followed Mr Jaffey, yet I remained perplexed by what
had just passed and I even looked nervously back over my
shoulder, lest the hideous monster had found a way over the
wall or perhaps had pushed, somehow, through the bolted door.
Mr Jaffey! I exclaimed all of a sudden. Mr Jaffey, I
feel rather perplexed about what has just happened.
Mr Jaffey stopped and turned to me. I think I perceived
a faint frown upon his brow:
I shall ensure that none of the tenants gets to hear
about this incident, he said.
Indeed, Mr Jaffey, I replied. Indeed, I should hope
that not the slightest suspicion as to the danger beyond the wall
be disclosed to anyone. At that moment, a doubtful thought
crossed my mind:
And yet, I began, though, needless-to-say, Mr
Jaffey sought to read my thoughts and, in an instant, he raised
his hand.
Do not concern yourself, for I assure you that no
word of this incident shall become known.
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With these words, he turned and commenced his walk
back towards the house adding:
However, I fear very much that we shall need to
advertise for a number of new gardeners in this weeks
Gazette.
Yes, indeed, Mr Jaffey, I suppose that is likely but .
Mr Jaffey interrupted once again.
Not likely, sir. Not at all, likely. The probability is
not in any doubt.
As we walked past the croquet lawn with its neatly
trimmed box hedge and topiary yews, I spoke more firmly.
No, Mr Jaffey. My concern, actually, was more over
the worms themselves; I wished to say, back there, that,
though I do not profess, in any way, to be an expert on
horticultural or botanical matters, I yet do know that such
monsters, as we have just witnessed rise up out of the
herbaceous borders, are not the typical or common fauna to be
found in an English gentlemans garden.
I see, said Mr Jaffey. But he chose to say no more
than that.
I fancied, as we ambled back along the Orangery path,
that perhaps Mr Jaffey was feeling somewhat disgruntled on
account of the recent events: he had meant to impress me with
his new yards and gardens but, what had started as a pleasantly
positive inspection had turned into something of a disaster: a
sort of nightmare, I should say. With this realisation in mind, I
chose to speak gently to Mr Jaffey in the hope that I might
ameliorate him:
Indeed, Mr Jaffey, I said. Though the worms were a
little disconcerting, I must say, I should not wish you to feel
that I have not thoroughly enjoyed and valued our little
inspection this afternoon. It is most pleasing, what I have seen,
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and I am certain that Lady Malcotte will be most satisfied to
hear that there are, indeed, already tenants in the Yards.
I paused to check the effect of my words upon Mr
Jaffeys mien and was glad to note that he looked, all of a
sudden, more relaxed and he now removed his hands from his
coat pockets and clasped them more confidently behind his
back as he walked:
Lady Malcotte. Yes. And the tenants are promising, as
you say, he muttered.
I did not wish you to overly concern yourself about the
worms, Mr Jaffey.
I stopped and so did he.
Though, I continued, I have to say they have
intrigued me a great deal during our walk back. Perhaps it
might be possible to trap a specimen worm. Do you not think
so, Mr Jaffey?
Mr Jaffey turned slowly to face me. He raised his hand
and stroked his beard thoughtfully:
Aspecimen, sir?
Yes, Mr Jaffey. The gardeners had made short shrift of
the first one after all; Im sure that a large hunting party could
capture even a live specimen quite easily. We could, then,
identify the species; it would cause quite a stir in Town, do you
not think? And, I should quite like to submit a paper to the
Academy; this is a scientific matter, after all.
Mr Jaffey nodded, though not in any manner from
which I could easily discern his thoughts upon the matter. I
chose, therefore, to continue in the prudent expectation that
further words of mine might bend his opinion in that very
direction my own thoughts were now turning.
Mr Jaffey, I continued in measured solemnity. You
are already aware that I am neither a fool nor an unthinking
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man but, rather, a gentleman of science, philosophy and reason
albeit, I should readily admit, still young in years. Indeed, Mr
Jaffey, I should consider myself to be possessed of sufficient
wisdom and experience, already, to be able to value more
highly the pursuit of knowledge and understanding than would
a gentleman of say twice or thrice my number of years.
Indeed, sir, replied Mr Jaffey.
So you see, I should very much like to capture one of
the wormsalive, Mr Jaffey.
At this point, I strode on and led the way back to the
house along the lavender path that led to the French doors to
the Library. Mr Jaffey kept close on my shoulder as we
walked. From the silence he maintained until we eventually
entered the house, I could tell he was lost in thought. I had to
admit that his newly acquired, more serious air left me with
little doubt that my proposal was, indeed, most profound if not
rather grand; so much did I feel this, that, as I led the way into
the Library, I turned to Mr Jaffey and, in an excited tone and
with animated expression I cried:
And is this not, Mr Jaffey, an opportunity for a great
adventure and not a little sport?
This outburst of spontaneous emotion surprised me and
I chose, then, to frown thoughtfully upon a sudden before
looking away.
Mr Jaffey closed the French doors behind us and
stepped before a glass-fronted cabinet containing my poor dear
fathers collection of South American carnivorous butterflies.
Indeed, sir: an adventure.
As I sat myself down upon the Trafalgar chair at my
little writing desk, Mr Jaffey assumed, what would best be
described as, a square posture not less than eighteen inches in
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front of the fire screen. Looking down at his brogues, he
spoke:
An adventure, as you should wish to call it, is, of
course, an excellent idea. He looked up. However, we must
not forget
I chose, at this very moment, to interject:
to organise that number of my friends and
acquaintances best suited to join with us in undertaking our
challenge.
Very often, Mr Jaffey would interrupt my sentences in
order to complete them with his own words which, quite
usually, it has to be said, would have been exactly those I
should have chosen myself. It gave me great pleasure,
therefore, on occasion, to play this little trick upon Mr Jaffey in
my turn and, in doing so, not only to indicate that I was fully
aware of Mr Jaffey's little idiosyncracy, but that I also
possessed the wit to present him with an imitation. I should
add that never was it my intention to present an impression of
parodist; let us say, quite simply, that here was a little game
that two civilised and intelligent gentlemen might wish to play
with one another from time to time.
Mr Jaffey smiled:
No, sir. I wished to remind you of an equally
important matter, namely: that concerning your tenants.
My tenants, Mr Jaffey? I hardly consider the tenants
to be of a suitable
disposition?
Disposition, precisely, Mr Jaffey, or class worthy of
being able to undertake such a quest as that of which I have
proposed.
Indeed, sir, replied Mr Jaffey. And I would, of
course, be entirely in agreement with you. However, the matter
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of which I had wished to remind you was that we really ought
not, at this point in time, to give the tenants any cause for
alarm.
I was immediately reminded of the fact that Mr Jaffey
possessed a greater degree of prudence than I and yet, also, I
felt, just at that moment, a mild annoyance on account of his
overriding concerns with matters more prosaic and mundane
than with which I should ever care to be trifled. Consequently,
I must confess that, my reply was somewhat piquant and very
much to the point:
I appreciate, Mr Jaffey, your concern that the tenants
should not be rendered discomposed by the fears the worms
might cause. But do you not think, also, that the capture of
these threatening monsters might, rather, establish an
impression upon them that their landlords are most very
concerned that the perilous beasts should no-longer present
them with any danger, or that discomforture one feels at the
prospect of imminent danger, to life or limb?
Mr Jaffey looked at me with raised eyebrows and I did,
then, feel that we were entering into what might be called a
disputation. I must admit that Mr Jaffey and I, though very
usually in agreement upon most matters, did differ, a great
deal, in our temperaments: I have inherited my poor dear
fathers spirit of adventure and a certain gusto, whereas it is not
beyond my ability to see that Mr Jaffey, being a member of a
somewhat inferior class, possesses strong beliefs in the
importance of less noble concerns or, rather, matters
concerning the minutiae and detail of the mechanics of the
world; details that, were I not a man of science, philosophy and
reason, should bore me to tears. To put it succinctly: though a
true English gentleman ought to value highly science,
philosophy and reason, he should not let them dull that poetry
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in his soul or that spirit of endeavour which is the true mark of
nobility. Indeed, I do allow myself, on occasion, to read the
works of Lord Byron but have never regarded Mr Keats as
being more than rather inferior and vulgar and, as for that
Shelley character, the less said, the better except to say that
his untimely death seems to provide some verification of a
divine existence.
Mr Jaffey stepped forward, a look of great solemnity
upon his brow, and his eyes fixed as if on some distant object:
May I apologise profusely, in advance, if what I am
about to say should appear to you to be, in any way, a criticism
of your poor dear father, but the importance of the Yard
tenancies to yourself, Lady Malcotte and, indeed, the whole of
the Malcotte Estates, is far greater than Lord Malcotte had
cared to imagine. I should not be so vulgar as to suggest that
there might well be a connection between your tenants and the
material benefits that are the right and privilege so enjoyed by
an English gentleman such as yourself. Mr Jaffey coughed
into his fist before continuing. However, let us admit, at least,
that the return of the tenants in most recent times is very much
to your benefit and that they should remain dutiful lessees is
much to be desired and rather essential to maintain.
At this point, I very much wished to interject, but Mr
Jaffey closed his eyes and raised his hand with such a resolute
gesture that I could see that he had every determination of
continuing without interruption.
And yet, I appreciate, no, admire your keenness that a
quest to hunt down this infernal beast be undertaken: not only
is the cause worthy of a noble gentleman, such as yourself, but
I can also see that there might well be practical and beneficial
consequences to such an adventure, as you wish to call the
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endeavour, for would not a quest indeed rid the estates of the
very cause of our tenants potential alarm?
And, Mr Jaffey, I expostulated, but my attempt to
add my own views upon the issue failed again; Mr Jaffey
raised his hand and shook his head.
Please, sir, allow me to finish. Here is my
concluding remark upon the matter: the most sensible way to
proceed, therefore, with your proposed capturing of the beast,
or beasts, remaining in the Walled Garden, is to do so under the
cloak of utter secrecy.
I had desired, of course, to remind Mr Jaffey of my
earlier remark upon the whole issue of the worms, being that it
was my contention that an overt campaign against the monsters
would result in the tenants appreciation that their betters were
at pains to ensure their security and that this would have the
further consequence of rendering the general tenancy forever in
a state of gratitude. Would this not have achieved the same end
as that of Mr Jaffey, namely: ensuring that the number of our
tenancies remained at a favourable level? As it was, I chose to
keep my thoughts to myself; Mr Jaffey was, after all, in one of
his more obstinate moods. In an effort, perhaps, to transport
Mr Jaffey to a more agreeable, amiable if not malleable frame
of mind, I decided, at this moment, to invite Mr Jaffey to
engage further with those mechanical details that I knew so
enraptured him:
Utter secrecy, indeed. Mr Jaffey, I wonder if I might,
at this juncture, request to know precisely how many tenants
are presently under discussion.
Further, it was my belief that should the number of
tenants be of an insignificant quantity, then our disputation
over the hunting of the worms might be very much over a
trifling matter and that, consequently, the issue, of whether or
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not the hunt should be covertly or overtly undertaken, was
neither here nor there.
The precise figure, sir, replied Mr Jaffey, is five
hundred, three and twenty.
Five hundred, three and twenty? I repeated. My
goodness, Mr Jaffey, it is a wonder to me that such a number,
as that, should find requisite accommodation in our Yards. Is
this number of tenants living in such incommodiously
proportioned space possible?
Mr Jaffey looked carefully at me, before answering:
Five hundred, three and twenty contracts for lease are
currently on the ledgers, sir.
And what, precisely, does that mean, Mr Jaffey? I
responded.
Well, sir, it means precisely what it means... I dare
say, continued Mr Jaffey, that the number of individual
persons dwelling in the Yards must be in the region of between
eight and ten times that number.
Mr Jaffey, at this moment withdrew his silver watch
and glanced at the time.
Eight and ten times? I replied.
Mr Jaffey looked up:
Indeed, sir. The number is a modest approximation.
I see, I said.
Mr Jaffey, I believe, saw an expression of some
bewilderment in my visage and so chose to add:
The mortality rate of infants amongst the lower orders
is, as you must appreciate, excessive and thus, it would seem,
necessitates the high number of progeny; the natural balance of
life and death within any species must dictate it thus.
Indeed, I was greatly confounded for the number of
persons thus computed seemed far too large and thus weighted,
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it would seem, very much in favour of a more covert modus
operandi regarding the capture of the worms. Nevertheless, I
felt determined that I should, eventually, have my way but
chose, for the present time, to let the issue rest there. Having
said that, already in my imagination, I had a fine scene set out
upon the South Lawns where upon stood many flags fluttering
in the bustling breeze; the sun was bright and the clouds raced
across a crisp, blue sky and below were many brightly coloured
pavilions as might be proudly arrayed upon the field of some
great tournament in times of yore.
If you do not mind, sir, said Mr Jaffey, I might
suggest that, since we have agreed about the constraints upon
our action, as should be dictated to us by our true appreciation
of the context within which such a hunt, as you desire, might
take place, we consider, now, more fully, the possible nature of
the beasts; it is not unreasonable to suppose that the full natural
historical details of these worms, and therefore their true
identity, might be found in one or more volumes from your
poor dear father's collection in this very Library. I might add
that the possibility seems to me to be even greater when I
reflect upon the fact that your poor dear father was a gentleman
scientist who had a considerable interest in the natural history
of strange creatures from foreign continents and was a
voracious collector of specimens of species so rare as to be
now totally extinct.
So lost was I in my own imaginings, at this moment,
that I failed to hear the greater part of Mr Jaffeys comments
and it was necessary for him to repeat what he had just said.
The nature of the beasts? I replied, before I could
fully gather up the reins of my thoughts and fancies. Ah yes,
indeed, Mr Jaffey. And may I add that a truly scientific
appreciation as to the worms nature, habits, peculiarities and
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predispositions is most to be desired, if we are to be successful
in our quest; and only science might provide us with the means
with which to avoid great dangers.
Mr Jaffey nodded in reply to my words and strode
forward towards a collection of large and illustrated volumes
entitled: The Zoology of Primitive Lands. Before selecting a
volume, Mr Jaffey paused and turned towards me:
I recollect, sir, that it was your initial observation,
when we were just now returning from the Yards, that the
worms resembled the great anacondas and, though the first
monster was distinctly red in colouration, it does also seem to
me, upon reflection, that it did bear some passing similarities to
such hideous creatures. It might, therefore, be not
unreasonable to look upon illustrations and to read accounts of
these particular varieties of beast first.
Without waiting for my reply, which would have been
to agree with him, Mr Jaffey returned to the large volumes, of
which there were twelve, and withdrew one from their midst.
With some effort, he lifted the great tome up onto the reading
stand, which stood beside the butterfly case, and he invited me
to join him in the perusal of its vast pages which I knew to be
illustrated with fine and richly coloured lithographic plates.
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Chapter II
It is my belief that all great adventures should have
their beginnings and endings in books, and so I watched Mr
Jaffeys turning of the pages with great excitement and
reverence for here, indeed, could rest the beginning of our great
tasks ahead and I ought not to allow myself to forget, also, that
I should wish to be able to conclude everything, once
successfully completed, in a detailed and scientific report to
the Academy; for would its members not, then, reward me for
my findings with their adulation and would they not also enfold
me into their venerable and highly respected ranks?
Mr Jaffey spoke, it seemed to me, in a whisper, as he
lifted another heavy page:
Here we are, he said, Snakes and Serpents, he
muttered as much to himself as to me and, indeed, upon the
page, which was otherwise blank, were the very words uttered
by Mr Jaffey.
I do remember, sir, he said, that your poor dear
father was most fond of these volumes, and I do recall that it
was this very volume that attracted your poor dear father above
all the others, when he was, indeed, not many more years in
advance or yourself now.
I must say that I was, at that moment, greatly moved by
what Mr Jaffey had just said, for might it not be the case that
this very page had not been looked upon since that very time to
which Mr Jaffey referred? I looked down upon the printed
page in a state of awe and wonder, for did not these very words
present themselves as a bridge from myself now to my poor
dear father as he was then, all those years ago? So enraptured
was I that Mr Jaffeys hands appeared to me to be those of
some holy priest, as he turned the leaf.
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And here, sir, are the illustrations we have been hoping
to find. They have been drawn and coloured by the great
French adventurer: Roland de Ponteulant and are, therefore,
perhaps, a little fanciful, yet, they will serve our present
purpose well enough. Look how he gives each creature an
expression; enchantantas the French would say.
Mr Jaffey now pointed with his finger at one particular
snake that did, indeed, seem to me to be smiling back at us.
Another appeared to stare out from the page right into my own
eyes with a most knowing look and, not without some
disconcertedness, I attempted to glance away.
So many illustrations, Mr Jaffey, I muttered, a little
breathlessly. I did not like to look down upon those two pages
of illustrations by that fanciful Frenchman.
Is there not another page, Mr Jaffey? I mumbled. I
do not think these serpents here resemble, in the least, those
monsters beyond our Yards.
And then, as if magically transfixed by the evil on those
pages, the worms began to writhe and intertwine as if I were
looking down upon some great pit of vipers rather than upon
the fanciful cartoons of some French adventurer.
Is there not another page, Mr Jaffey? I heard myself
say. But still the page did not turn and I suppose Mr Jaffey was
inspecting each illustration more carefully than I found myself
at all able to do.
With some considerable effort of will and with a faint
sensation of nausea, I did eventually manage to take my eyes
off the pages and look away and, whilst Mr Jaffey poured over
the plates, I found myself looking, instead, into the glass case
and intently upon the last bird-eating butterfly to have been
captured in a village on some lost Bolivian plain. Whilst
tracing the perimeter of its large wings with my eyes, I found
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myself regaining composure, and it was not long before I felt
able to speak to Mr Jaffey who had still not turned the page of
the great book.
It is my contention, Mr Jaffey, I said, that not one of
the illustrations resembles the worms we have witnessed this
afternoon. I do feel you should now turn to the next page
where the text may provide us with more helpful and more
scientific details than are exhibited in those, may I say, rather
fantastical images by some crazed French adventurer. I must
confess to my uttering these words with a certain tone of pique
which I found hard to disguise.
Mr Jaffey did not reply, at first, but then I sensed him
looking carefully at me just before he spoke:
Indeed, sir, I think your judgement to be most
probably sound, for I have perused each illustration most
carefully and find there to be little resemblance, anywhere
here, to the worm I saw in the Walled Garden. May I request
to know, sir, if you are feeling quite well; its just that your
complexion is most awfully pale. I do wonder if you are quite
well.
I had noticed, Mr Jaffey, I replied, that, as we
returned from the Yards through the gardens along the
Orangery path, though this afternoon was somewhat overcast
and did present a most dismal, grey, aspect, the air was, rather
warm, particularly for a day in early November, needless-to-
say, and I should describe the atmosphere to be humid, if not
oppressive and, I am certain, it is on this account that I do now
feel rather wan; I am not the least surprised that I should appear
pale to you.
I was convinced, myself, that the closeness of the
weather was very much the cause of my present state of
discomforture.
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I wonder, Mr Jaffey, I continued, if it might not be
an unreasonable suggestion, especially considering my present
discomposure, that we take a little tea.
Mr Jaffey nodded with some alacrity and, without so
much as a page turn, began to make his way across the Library
to the bell-pull by the far door.
Might I say, sir, I do think that to be a most sensible
suggestion, for is it not the very hour when a gentleman should
take tea and, furthermore, have we not endured a most
extraordinary experience this afternoon? I must confess that I
feel somewhat awkward that I did not make the suggestion
myself.
I smiled as best I could and took myself away from the
butterfly case to go and sit down back at my little writing desk.
Once seated, I felt a little more able to speak further; I waited
for Mr Jaffey to return from the door, however, before I spoke:
May I, Mr Jaffey, make a further suggestion to the
effect that you turn the page and read to me the details on the
next leaf? It may well be that we will glean from the text some
greater enlightenment than we have managed to find in those
French illustrations which, I must confess, do seem to me to be
more closely related to fiction than scientific fact.
Mr Jaffey, who had now nearly returned to the book
stand, nodded and spoke with some enthusiasm:
Indeed, sir. It is of little wonder that you have found
the images on these pages to be somewhat lacking in that
rigour and accuracy of detail, that an English gentleman should
expect to find, within the leaves of a book presenting upon its
cover and spine an impression of being scientific, given that
they are the scribblings of some romantic Frenchman.
However, I should add, at this juncture, sir, words that will be,
no doubt, of some comfort to you, for it is my belief that the
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accompanying text, to those French images, is by none other
than the famous Scottish naturalist, Dr Hamish Crump.
Well then, I replied from my Trafalgar chair, Let us
hear, without delay, what the gentleman has to say and,
perhaps, he will throw a better light upon the identity of our
worms than we have managed to find in the preceding two
pages of illustrations.
Very well, sir, said Mr Jaffey, and, without further
ado, he turned the page and, I must admit that I felt, at that
instant, a sensation that can only be described as a lightening of
the heart.
Mr Jaffey began to recite from Dr Crumps text but had
proceeded no further than the title, date of composition and
authors academic credentials, when the door to the Library
opened and a maid entered with the tea things upon a tray and,
as soon as Mr Jaffey stopped, removed his pince-nez and when
I, myself, looked up from my chair, she immediately inquired
of us both as to where she should place down her burden. Mr
Jaffey frowned with some annoyance at having been
interrupted from his reading and, with no more than a flick of
his hand, he pointed to the nest of Italian marquetry tables that
stood at the tail end of the tiger rug not a few feet from where I
was sitting. Mr Jaffey replaced his pince-nez and looked down
upon the words of Dr Crump, as the maid brought the tea
things over and placed them on the table. From the corner of
my eye, I saw that she bobbed a brief curtsy before removing
herself from my sight and she thence turned and made her exit.
As soon as the door had closed, I spoke:
Well, Mr Jaffey, might I suggest that you continue
reading, while I pour the tea, and perhaps you might report
what you find from the words of this Scottish expert.
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Mr Jaffey glanced up and, with little more than a nod,
he returned his eyes to the page before him and read on in
silence. Whilst he continued to read, I got up from my chair
and made my way across the rug to the tea tray. Mr Jaffey
continued and did appear to be most caught up with whatever it
was that was being revealed to him, and I raised the teapot and
began to pour. After pouring the tea, I added a little milk to
each of our cups and then, feeling there was little more I could
do, except wait for Mr Jaffey to finish his article, I returned
across the tiger rug and sat myself back down.
After a period of just a few more minutes, Mr Jaffey
looked up and removed his pince-nez:
Well, sir, I have now completed my reading of Dr
Crumps accompanying text to the illustrations on the
preceding two pages and can conclude that it would seem most
likely that the beasts we witnessed this afternoon in the Walled
Garden were, indeed, not anything remotely connected to
anacondas or any other tropical or domestic worm yet know by
those in the civilised world.
After making his pronouncement, he sighed and
stepped away from his little podium and approached the tea
things.
I felt, in an instant, a confusion of two emotions,
namely: elation at our being on the threshold of a possible new
and great discovery; and yet also: puzzlement and wonder over
how it was that such, as yet, unknown beasts should have made
their habitation in a corner of the Malcotte Estate.
Well, Mr Jaffey, I said, after a brief moment of
introspection, how peculiar that we should find such strange
worms here, on the Malcotte Estate.
Mr Jaffey picked up the two tea cups and came over to
me with them and I took one from him gladly and he returned
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across the tiger rug to seat himself down upon a chaise longue,
stirring his tea with a little silver spoon.
It is, indeed, sir, replied Mr Jaffey, before raising the
cup to his lips. I can only wonder, he continued, after
dabbing his whiskers lightly with his silk handkerchief, over
how it has come to pass that such diabolical creatures, as we
have seen this afternoon, came to be there and I can only
conclude that it is a possibility, a possibility and nothing more,
that your poor dear father returned with them from one of his
expeditions.
I have to confess that Mr Jaffey expressed an opinion
that might have been stolen from my own mind, for it was in
this direction that my own thoughts had been traveling,
namely: that the worms might once have been specimens
brought back from an expedition to some far flung and dark
land.
Mr Jaffey, I said, you are most surely correct to have
reached this conclusion which seems most reasonable to me;
though I might suggest that the worms must, in some way, have
escaped.
Mr Jaffey nodded in agreement:
I should imagine this to be possible.
And further, I continued, I do think it most odd that
we did not get to know anything about the worms until now,
for it was not in my poor dear fathers nature to keep his work
ever a secret; in fact, Mr Jaffey, he was always most
enthusiastic in making known all and precise details of his
scientific expeditions. Does it not seem strange, Mr Jaffey?
Mr Jaffey lowered his cup:
It does, indeed, sir. Might I also make the comment, at
this moment, that it had been our intention, had it not, to
discover the identity and, thereby, the habits and general nature
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of the worms. It would seem that, in this endeavour, we have
not met with success and, consequently, it is true to say, that
our foe, for truly we must conceive of this beast as an enemy,
presents us with considerable potential danger. For this reason,
sir, I do wonder if it might be prudent to undertake some form
of scientific study so that we might be better prepared as
regards your proposed capturing of one or more of the beasts.
After all, the red worm was a most ferocious animal and you
were pursued by another, before making your escape through
the garden door. How many creatures inhabit the Walled
Garden is, also, as yet, not known to us. Indeed, a great myriad
of doubts and saucy fancies can easily spring to mind, and
many terrible dangers must be considered possibilities at this
time.
Mr Jaffeys salient words plunged me into deep
thoughts. Certainly, Mr Jaffey expressed an opinion of great
common sense for it would be foolhardy, at the very least, to
engage with such dangerous and venomous adversaries, when
not furnished with some knowledge and understanding
appertaining to their nature, habits and numbers. And yet,
again, I felt Mr Jaffeys wise comments to be but a great
weight that must hold me down and, for this reason, my
thoughts tended towards some expression of contrariness rather
than concurrence of opinion:
I do wonder, Mr Jaffey, I said after some minutes of
silence, over the fact that we find ourselves confronted with a
strange paradox or dilemma, for our best course of action, as
you rightly suggest, would appear to be to study the nature and
number of the beasts before engaging upon our hunt, and yet,
in order to achieve this initial objective, it would seem that we
should first have to capture a live specimen.
Mr Jaffey raised his eyebrows, but I continued:
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Which course of immediate action should be
undertaken? Well, may I suggest that it would be necessary,
first, to capture one of these worms, for how could we study
the nature of the beasts without beasts to study?
Mr Jaffey nodded in a manner which suggested to me
that he appreciated the nature of the paradox but not my
conclusions as to its resolution, for his nodding turned to a
shaking of the head before he replied:
We do, indeed, sir, appear to find ourselves confronted
with a dilemma: might I suggest that we can observe an animal
quite scientifically without the necessity of its entrapment and,
furthermore, an animal observed within its habitual and natural
environment would be more likely to reveal its true nature,
than one observed in captivity.
Something, beyond my immediate understanding,
possessed me at this moment and I felt compelled to rise from
my chair so that I found myself standing upon the tiger rug
before Mr Jaffey. I spoke out thus:
I must, Mr Jaffey, speak my mind clearly upon this
whole matter.
Mr Jaffey lowered his cup and saucer and looked up
with faint surprise. I continued:
Though I do consider myself to be a student of
science, philosophy and reason, I have, I am quite certain of
this, inherited my poor dear fathers practical sensibilities and,
Mr Jaffey, I must confess to a certain detestation of inactivity,
deleteriousness, prevarication and procrastination, and I
It would seem that another, equally potent passion then
possessed me for I found myself, upon a sudden, to be quite
lost for words and I stood there, upon the rug, gaping like a
landed trout. In my confusion, embarrassment and shame, I
could not bring myself to look at Mr Jaffey at all and preferred,
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instead, to cast my eyes downwards and so, consequently,
found myself staring into the dull glass eyes of the tiger, upon
whose back I now stood.
I do apologise, Mr Jaffey, for my sudden and peculiar
outburst. I cannot think what passions then possessed me and
must confess to allowing certain, strange, emotions to take, for
a brief moment, control over my faculty of reason. Very
sheepishly, I looked up at Mr Jaffey. A very foolish outburst,
Mr Jaffey, I mumbled.
However, Mr Jaffey, I then observed, smiled kindly and
spoke with some gentleness:
Sir, I knew your poor dear father for many years and
I recall, fondly I should say, that, when he was your age I say
this now with all due respect he was inclined, upon occasion,
to lose his composure, especially when he was in possession of
the one or two downy feathers of that youthful impetuosity as
are exhibited in your own present disposition. But, I am
inclined to add, that he was quick in learning to appreciate the
importance of good sense and dispassionate reason. Your poor
dear father was, indeed, possessed of an adventurous and
curious spirit but was, nevertheless, not a fool.
How that final word cut me!
Afool, Mr Jaffey?
Mr Jaffey raised his hand and closed his eyes as if to
indicate to me that I had taken hold of the wrong end of the
stick, as the saying goes.
Please, sir, do not misconstrue my meaning which is
simply to agree with you that you are, indeed, in possession of
a good number of your poor dear fathers traits, not least of
which was his propensity to indulge in impetuosity, upon
occasion, when in his younger days and, furthermore, I
reiterate, that he was no fool and, by implication, sir, I should
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hope that it was clear that I meant you to understand that you,
too, are no fool.
I see, I replied thoughtfully.
Mr Jaffey leaned forward and replaced his cup and
saucer upon the tea tray in front of him. Then he leaned back
upon the chaise longue and placed together the ends of his
fingers and closed his eyes:
Indeed, sir, he said, you are no more of a fool than I
am a prevaricator. He then opened his eyes and leaned
slightly forward. I have always considered myself to have
been a devotee, a champion, ofpraxis.
I did, at this moment, wish to interject, in order to
defend myself against those earlier words of mine which had,
clearly, touched upon one or two of Mr Jaffeys nerves.
However, I was prevented from doing so by Mr Jaffey who
raised his hand and spoke on:
I hope you would not mind, sir, if I were to make a
most practical suggestion.
I sat back, a little, in my Trafalgar chair.
Not in the least, Mr Jaffey, I replied.
I chose, then, to say no more, though the opportunity to
correct any earlier implied criticism of Mr Jaffey, by myself,
had just arisen.
Good, sir. Well, my practical suggestion is this: that
we should, without great delay, summon all those good
personages and acquaintances of yours whom we consider to
possess the knowledge, wit or expertise favourable in helping
us towards a solution of our present problem, namely
concerning what best to do with the worms. Such personages
should, I might suggest, include individuals well versed in the
arts or sciences of trapping and hunting game as well as
individuals possessed of theoretical understanding and
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knowledge related to such strange beasts with which we have
now found ourselves encumbered.
Mr Jaffey sat back as if to indicate that he had said as
much as he wished to say. I felt, at that moment obliged to
furnish him with a reply:
Mr Jaffey, I said, I consider your suggestion to be a
most sensible proposal and, may I add, it does provide us with
a practical way forward which, if I may say so, is neither
impetuous nor dilatory. May I further add, Mr Jaffey, that it is
also my humble opinion, regarding this whole matter, that the
dangers and mysteries of these vile beasts are considerable and
very possibly of too great an extent to be faced by the two of us
alone.
Mr Jaffey, at this point, rose slowly to his feet.
Very well, sir. Then we are agreed and I should
suggest that we set about compiling a list of guests for a great
dinner to be held upon a date not too distant from now and that
such a list should be drawn up by ourselves very soon indeed.
I too rose to my feet, for I felt this moment to be an
occasion of great solemnity and due reverence and that it was
inappropriate for me to remain seated.
My dear Mr Jaffey, I said, I could not agree more
and, as I am here at my writing desk, does it not seem mete that
we should set to and complete our list of guests post haste?
Indeed, it may be possible to send out invitations this very
evening.
Mr Jaffey rose on his toes and his brogues creaked. He
placed his hands in his trouser pockets before lowering himself
back down upon his heels and replied:
Ah, now, sir, he said, it would, first, be necessary
for me to inform Lady Malcotte of our plan of action. He
looked up and suddenly at me. I do envisage, after all, the
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necessity and desirability of a most grand if not lavish dinner.
Furthermore, sir, might I suggest that it would be wiser for us
to both sleep upon the whole matter, for we have experienced
and discussed a good many things this afternoon and I,
personally, have always found it best to give important
decisions, in life, a little time to mature; a nights sleep is
usually sufficient. Might I suggest, sir, that we meet at
breakfast tomorrow to discuss the details of our list of guests
then?
I had to admit that Mr Jaffey conveyed to me some
perfect good sense and, moreover, I was feeling quite fatigued,
in spite of my excitement. Therefore, Mr Jaffeys words were
enough to convince me that I should agree to his proposals.
Mr Jaffey, I replied, I do feel a great sense of
elation at the way two civilised gentlemen, such as ourselves,
find it possible to arrive at an amicable conclusion, and thus
settle their differences, by means of reason and intelligent
discourse; and I marvel, on such occasions as these, over how
it is that we have progressed to this high and noble state of
modus vivendi.
Mr Jaffey nodded sagely and added:
Indeed, sir. Were we members of a more primitive and
savage nation, as one might find on the continent of Africa or
in other undeveloped nations, I should dare say that we might
both now be lying upon the floor quite dead from injuries
inflicted one upon the other and, would we not now, have made
a fine brace of companions for this tiger upon whose back we
now stand.
With these words, Mr Jaffey smiled and I laughed
warmly:
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DearMr Jaffey, as we are in such a congenial mood
and have made our important decisions, might I invite you to
join me in a bottle or two of fine Madeira or Porto wine?
Mr Jaffey nodded most appreciatively before he took a
step away and began to walk in the direction of the door.
May I request, he said, a brief audience with Lady
Malcotte first before I join you, for I feel you have made a
most amicable suggestion and should very much enjoy a
bumper or two with your good self, sir.
Excellent, Mr Jaffey, I replied gaily. Let us meet in
the Billiard Room in half an hour or so.
Very well, sir. I ask you, now, to excuse me for a short
moment.
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Chapter III
I had dispatched a bottle of very good Porto wine on
my own before Mr Jaffey had eventually joined me in the
Billiard Room the previous evening and, after profuse
apologies for his late arrival, we thence had continued,
together, to enjoy another three or four bottles of the most
excellent vintages before retiring to bed at about two oclock.
Our little celebration, as I should like to consider our evening
to have been, now left me feeling a little under the weather and,
consequently, when I joined Mr Jaffey in the Breakfast Room,
my nerves felt a little exposed.
I had just greeted Mr Jaffey who, in return, offered me a
salutary nod from behind the Gazette, when there erupted, as it
were, a most discordant din from without; a great wailing and
shouting, shrill and most jarring upon the ears and the nerves,
caused me to close my eyes and Mr Jaffey to lower his paper.
After a short period, during which the uproar continued and
seemed, even, to be increasing in volume, I opened my eyes
and looked at Mr Jaffey, who had risen from his chair and was
staring at the door.
Good heavens, Mr Jaffey! I exclaimed. What an
infernal cacophony! What on Earth could be the matter?
Mr Jaffey looked at me and puffed with some
annoyance:
Indeed, sir: a most inharmonious pandemonium! He
then put his head to one side as if to listen more intently.
It would seem to me, sir, he continued, to be the
wailing and ululation of some women who, I should estimate,
must be not a great distance down the Jade Gallery . If you
will excuse me, sir, perhaps I should go to investigate for such
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a din may well disturb Lady Malcotte and must be quelled as
soon as possible.
I was strongly inclined to agree and was more than
thankful that Mr Jaffey had volunteered to take it upon himself
to confront the cause or causes of what could only be called an
aubade from Hell.
I am, Mr Jaffey, most enthusiastic in my support of
your proposal and I do believe the noise to be either increasing
in volume or else its source to be increasingly close. Do please
investigate, Mr Jaffey, without delay.
And I then held my poor head for sheer pain and was
glad to see Mr Jaffey remove himself from the Breakfast Room
without delay.
No Sooner had Mr Jaffey left the room, when the
riotous yelling and shrieking subsided and I could only then
just hear Mr Jaffeys voice speaking sternly above the
convulsive sobbing of several women.
I was little interested to listen very much further and, in
any case, was unable to discern anything, save the occasional
word or phrase from Mr Jaffey, so turned myself slowly round
and approached the sideboard. Due to my state of fatigue and
nervous discomposition, I felt it almost incumbent upon me
that I should refortify myself by means of a large and hearty
breakfast.
I had read a book, some while ago now, which
described the gastronomic traditions of the Chinese people and
was, I remembered, written by an Italian missionary, whose
name I have now forgotten. But one thing I recalled well was
how these peoples, stricken often by the most ferocious and
wide-reaching famines, would convince themselves of the
efficacy of consuming plants or animals, that must be
construed to be totally inedible in the civilised world, by
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attaching curative and medicinal associations to them. I
remembered, for example, having read that the most foulsome
snakes would be flayed alive and thence their pink flesh
greedily gnawed quite readily by the natives of one northern
province because they believed the venomous flesh to be a sure
remedy against the bitter cold. Half inspired by my
recollections of these culinary accounts, I decided that it would
be best for me, now, to fill my plate with the pigs kidneys,
some black pudding and a little calfs liver. It was my
reasoning that I should consume those parts of animals that
might best supply me with energy, as I was feeling almost faint
from the exertions of the preceding late evenings celebrations
with Mr Jaffey. What foods could better provide a gentleman
with such requisite energy than those meats containing copious
quantities of congealed blood? Needless-to-say, though I felt a
little queasy, to put it mildly, I piled my plate generously and
thence carefully stepped back towards the breakfast table.
Barely had I sat myself down and raised my fork, when the
door opened and in walked Mr Jaffey who, I had to confess,
looked considerably paler than I felt.
Ah, Mr Jaffey, I declared. I trust all is now well.
Do please breakfast with me and, given that you appear
somewhat pallid, may I warmly suggest you join me in helping
yourself to those kidneys, black puddings and livers, for I am
convinced they will help restore a little colour to your cheeks.
With these words, I pierced the side of one of the
kidneys and conveyed it, by means of my fork, to my lips.
Mr Jaffey glanced quickly back at the door as if he were
a man pursued, raised his hands and shook his head.
Sir, I hope I do not now appear to you to be
discourteous but, for the immediate moment, may I decline
your kind suggestion that I should, at this juncture, join you at
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the breakfast table, for I wish to report, rather, that there seem
to be four Tunisian women outside in the Jade Gallery.
I frowned with some confusion and lowered my fork
and knife.
Tunisian women? I repeated. And it was they who,
just now, were making that confounded
din, sir. Yes, indeed. It was they, interrupted Mr
Jaffey somewhat, I noticed, breathlessly. He stepped towards
the breakfast table and pulled at his beard with the tips of his
fingers. It was they, sir.
At this point, I placed down upon the table, my knife
and fork and clasped together my hands for, I have to confess, I
felt a great wave of nausea pass through me and the blood drain
from my head. Mr Jaffey, who stood on the opposite side of
the table appeared to me to fade into a darkness, and the grey
morning light from outside seemed to blacken as at the
beginning of some great storm.
They? I whispered. A barely perceptible Mr Jaffey
responded with a nod:
Indeed, sir. It would seem, he continued, that the
husbands of these women did not return home last night.
I see, I replied; though, in actual fact, I was only able
to connect the Indian gardeners, I had seen the previous
afternoon, with these Tunisian women, after an effort of
considerable will. As it was, it remained an enigma to me why
these women should now be in the house making such a roar so
early in the morning as ten oclock.
Would these women outside the door be the wives of
the Indian gardeners we saw yesterday afternoon? I asked.
Mr Jaffey shook his head:
Indeed no, sir, he replied. These women are now
no-longer the wives but the widows of the gardeners I deemed
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to have perished in the Walled Garden and who were,
themselves, from Tunisia.
I began to feel less faint, on a sudden, and opened my
eyes, having closed them to listen more effectively to Mr
Jaffeys most recent words. Indeed, I felt tolerably well
enough to reply:
I see. Yet, Mr Jaffey, I am still at a loss to know why it
is that they have chosen to invade our peace and privacy and to
call upon us uninvited in this most ill-mannered fashion.
I believe Mr Jaffey was about to reply, for his mouth
began to articulate some utterance, but he was suddenly
interrupted by the door which began to open. Mr Jaffey closed
his mouth and looked round and I waited in some state of
consternation to see who or what would appear.
At first, they were obscured from my view because Mr
Jaffey stood directly in my line of sight (though I could see the
door open and close over the top of Mr Jaffeys head). I was
most grateful that Mr Jaffey then stepped to one side, for I was
feeling far too weak to call upon him so to do myself and, in
addition to my nausea, I was now afflicted with a most
disagreeable sensation affecting my vision, for the whole room
before me began to pitch and sway as if I had been transported
magically into the cabin of some East Indiaman rolling on the
waves of some godforsaken sea. I raised my napkin to my lips
feigning a polite removal of a crumb or a little blood from my
last mouthful of pigs kidneys; but, in fact, I felt a most violent
convulsion in my throat and, to my considerable alarm, fancied
I might require rather more than a napkin. It was as if my mind
was too preoccupied with these concerns to appreciate the full
impact of what was now within my sight, for I did not, at first,
fully comprehend what was before me. I found myself, indeed,
looking to Mr Jaffey to explain, and, I am glad to say, he was
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very quick to recognise a situation that did require some
elucidation:
Ah yes, sir, these are, indeed, the individuals who were
causing such a disturbance not five minutes ago.
Mr Jaffey paused then as if expecting some response
from me. I managed to nod once, slowly and carefully. I
should add that, standing at the door beside Mr Jaffey were
four individuals sporting long, dark robes and who were so
heavily veiled that not one inch of their appearances was in the
least apparent, and, even in my poor frame of mind, I was able
to deduce that these individuals were so attired on account of
their being Mohammedans, for I had seen, some time ago,
illustrations in a book about these peoples. I must confess, the
illustrations I had seen as a child had left me in a state of great
confusion and trauma and now, when confronted with live
specimens of these veiled creatures, I must say that their
appearance was surely the cause of my present state of
discomfort or, at least, a major contributory factor. They
reminded me of items of some old furniture draped in dust
sheets I had once seen in the attics when a boy. Now they
swam before me: strangely silent.
What, Mr Jaffey, would seem to be the cause of their
complaint? They do seem, now, rather subdued, I am glad to
say, I said. Perhaps they are now placated in some way, and
I am quite content that, Mr Jaffey, in which case they should be
permitted to leave without further delay or further ado.
Mr Jaffey glanced at me and clasped his hands together
as if to suggest that no quick or easy solution to their being
able to depart was at hand:
These individuals, sir, are, indeed, the widows of the
labourers we visited yesterday afternoon. I believe
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Our husbands! They are dead in the garden!
Interjected one of the individuals who now stepped forward
and, I fancied, considered herself to be the spokesman for the
group. Needless-to-say, Mr Jaffey and I were quite taken
aback by this interruption. I was most disconcerted that this
widow seemed now to be addressing me, personally. I looked
at Mr Jaffey.
Mr Jaffey, I was pleased to see, stepped towards the
woman and thence proceeded to explain:
Indeed, sir, I believe that the widows are now most
concerned that their husbands, or, I should say, the dead bodies
of their former husbands, be buried as soon as possible. It is, I
believe, a custom with these peoples to bury their dead almost
without any delay at all.
I see, I replied, before looking down at my plate of
barely consumed breakfast. Mr Jaffey, I continued, I shall
now leave the room rather quickly and do request that you
resolve all immediate concerns regarding these visitors. I
suggest, also, that you and I should reconvene here in an hour.
Without another word uttered between us, I rose as
deftly as I could and, clasping my napkin to my lips removed
myself from the Breakfast Room with some rapidity.
It was midday before I felt well enough to seek out Mr
Jaffey. My head had cleared a little and my general
constitution did seem to be recovering tolerably well. Indeed,
after a light rest, I felt, upon a sudden, quite rapaciously
hungry, and it was with a somewhat mixed sense of purpose
that I left my bed chamber to find Mr Jaffey.
Given that I had previously suggested that we should
reconvene in the Breakfast Room and that there, also, I should
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be able to revitalise myself with nourishment, I made my way
down stairs as quickly as I could.
It was on my way along the Jade Gallery, towards the
Breakfast Room, that I was met by a most disconsoling sight; I
could barely believe my eyes and, indeed, forced myself to
blink two or three times lest I should be hallucinating, for
there, at the far end of the eastern side of the Jade Gallery, were
the four veiled widows: I had turned the corner quite
unsuspectingly, and there they were: not half-way down and
between myself and my objective. It goes without saying that I
was compelled to stop dead in my tracks and, for what seemed
to me to be a considerable duration of time, I felt quite unable
to take one step forth or in retreat. And, in this time, my mind
was filled with conflated thoughts and passions. Most
particularly, I felt an extreme annoyance but this, in turn,
seemed vaguely to be directed at three objects, namely: Mr
Jaffey, for clearly having failed to dispense with the problem;
myself, for feeling a strange sense of powerlessness in my own
house; and the Mohammedan women, for existing in that
manner of being.
Interestingly, my period of silent, still contemplations
seemed to have rendered me as good as invisible to the veiled
widows for they did little more than shuffle about a few yards
from the Breakfast Room door and, were it possible for them to
actually see out through their thick veils, I should have seemed
to them nothing more than a statue or item of furniture.
Whatever, they addressed me not nor did they spy me and so,
very gently, I stepped backwards to whence I had come and
was soon round the corner on the south side of the Jade Gallery
and though it may have been possible to see me through the
windows, I felt confident enough, now, to walk furtively away
without their perceiving my movements. Yet, though out of
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immediate danger, I was now struck with doubts as to what I
should do.
Certainly, my way into the Breakfast Room along the
Jade Gallery was barred by those wretched harridans. That I
should continue to make the Breakfast Room my objective
seemed in little doubt because, I reasoned, Mr Jaffey must be
therein ensconced as we had agreed earlier to meet there, albeit
an hour before the present time. Though there was some
possibility that he may have already vacated the room, I further
reasoned that this must remain an unlikelihood, not least
because the veiled widows remained themselves outside the
door and were as much an obstacle for Mr Jaffey as they were
for me. A most unpleasant growling in my stomach and a
lightness and slight dizziness in my head reminded me, also,
that it was quite imperative that I should discover a way of
entering the Breakfast Room without much more
procrastination.
It occurred to me then, that though the internal door at
the end of the Jade Gallery was blocked, there was no real
reason at all why I should not, alternatively, enter by way of the
external French doors that looked out over the South Lawns. I
needed, simply, to pass through the Library and thence straight
out onto the Orangery path and then work my way along the
South faade towards the West wing. I would have little
trouble, then, in gaining the attention of Mr Jaffey who would
then let me in. Indeed, here also would be the means of our
escape.
Much satisfied with my plan, I dallied no longer and
repaired myself as quickly as I might in the direction of the
Library.
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Once I had reached the Library, I entered with all
stealth and made my way past the bookcases and glanced a
little shyly to my left as I passed the butterfly cases and the
book stand. Without much trouble, I opened the French doors
out of the Library and closed them carefully behind me as I
stepped out. I was greeted, immediately, by a cold, dank
morning where the high, grey clouds of two hours ago
appeared to have descended to an altitude not a few feet above
my head. When I looked up, the upper windows of the South
elevation were lost in a thick, wet cloak of mist and the South
Lawns, too, were obscured from view by the shrouds of the
November gloom. The cold, dampness of the air upon my face
rendered me feeling a little refreshed and I dithered no more
but hurried earnestly along the front of the house towards the
West wing.
After a few minutes, I could see the doors and windows
of the Breakfast Room right before me and, with a palpable
sense of elation, I stepped quickly up to the French doors and
peered in. I removed my hand from my trouser pocket and
tested the door but was most disappointed to find that it was
locked, for I had hoped to have been able to enter unhindered
and not a little triumphantly as if to the succour of the besieged
Mr Jaffey. As it was, the door rattled but did not yield to let me
in. Returning my right hand to my pocket, I leant forward and
peered in, half expecting to see Mr Jaffey making his way
towards the door in order to let me in. A sudden fear that he
might not have remained waiting for me, in spite of all my
reasoning, crossed my mind. I peered again and strained to see
the figure of Mr Jaffey in the gloom. It was quite requisite for
me to press my face very close to the glazing on account of the
fact that my own face was reflected back at me if I did not
press my nose almost directly upon the glass and yet, at the
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same time, so damp and chill was the morning that my breath,
close up, condensed in a great cloud over the pane and I was
obliged to wipe the window almost continuously.
I was, indeed, thus employed in my attempts to see into
the Breakfast Room, when the door opened and there stood Mr
Jaffey looking down upon the damp crown of my head. I rose
up immediately and with a sensation of immense relief:
Mr Jaffey! You are here after all. How pleased I am
that you are still here, I exclaimed.
Mr Jaffey took a little step back in order to let me enter.
He glanced over his shoulder and then at me and raised a finger
to his lips as if to suggest I should speak in nothing more than a
whisper and, indeed, as if to set me an example, he whispered
to me himself:
Good morning, sir. May I remark upon the fact that a
little rest seems to have helped you recover your good health.
Thank you, Mr Jaffey, I replied, as I walked in and
unfastened two buttons on my tweed jacket. I heard Mr Jaffey
close the door and felt my face glow a little with the
contrasting warmth of the room.
A little rest was all that I required, I added. Though
I must say, Mr Jaffey, that I feel quite faint from hunger. I do
hope the breakfast has not become too cold to be rendered
unpalatable.
Mr Jaffey came round and now stood before me: his
head was bent a little forward and his shoulders were slightly
hunched, I perceived, and he spoke thus:
Sir, I do wonder if we ought to repair to the Library.
There are, he continued, glancing quickly over his shoulder in
the direction of the door, a number of pressing matters that
need some discussion.
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Mr Jaffey's glance reminded me immediately of the
veiled widows and, for a moment, my mind was taken off
thoughts of sustenance.
Ah yes, Mr Jaffey, I whispered, though, it would
seem, too loudly, for Mr Jaffey looked at me with sudden wide-
eyed alarm and raised a forefinger to his lips.
Ah yes, I repeated in corrected lower tones. Mr
Jaffey, I do wonder how it has come about this morning, that I
have found myself rather besieged; and it is quite
disconcerting, is it not, that those veiled Algerian widows lurk,
still, in the Jade Gallery. I do hope you might explain what
happened in the period of time between my earlier departure
and present return.
Mr Jaffey nodded and stepped beside me as I walked
over to the sideboard. It would seem that my legs had decided
to act quite against Mr Jaffeys suggestion that we should retire
to the Library, for they took me forward towards the silverware
as if they had minds or stomachs of their own. I heard Mr
Jaffey sigh with a hint of vexation:
Sir, I must convey to you that the present situation
appertaining to our uninvited visitors is of a most delicate and
precarious nature, he hissed as I lifted a little liver onto my
plate.
Delicate and precarious, Mr Jaffey? I asked. I felt a
flicker of annoyance, I have to confess, which may well have
been fed by my hunger: but was it quite acceptable that an
English gentleman should be so ridiculously besieged as this in
his own home? I remembered my earlier feeling of irritation
that Mr Jaffey had not removed the Algerian widows and at
that moment I looked at him with a frown:
What matter concerning these wretched women could
be so important as to stand between a gentleman and his
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breakfast and what quality of demand could there be from these
widows such that two gentlemen must be forced to whisper and
scurry about like criminals?
My voice began to rise, I lowered my plate and put it
down on the sideboard with a gesture of mild frustration.
Mr Jaffey, I ask you: What quality of demand dictates
to us to behave so timorously and in my own home?
Mr Jaffey patted the air with his hands as if to indicate
that I should lower the volume of my voice:
I will inform you directly of the quality of their
demands, or rather the nature of our predicament and must, sir,
suggest that you lower your voice. Let me explain as quickly
as I can the precise nature of our difficulties.
Mr Jaffey thence turned and walked over to the French
doors and I felt obliged to follow and to leave my plate of
victuals on the sideboard. The two of us huddled close to the
glazing and Mr Jaffey spoke thus:
I do quite appreciate, sir, how offensive you must find
this situation to be but, please, now listen carefully, for the
Mohammedan widows present us with something of a
perplexing quandary which must be handled most dexterously
if we are not to find ourselves in an excessively difficult
situation.
Mr Jaffey crouched closer to me and ran his fingers
through the curls of his whiskers.
The problem is a complex one, sir. You see, the
widows, in their distress regarding the unburied bodies of their
dead husbands in the Walled Garden, could very easily
become, as it were, a force counter to our efforts to keep the
worms secret from the tenants. What could be more effective
in raising anything but a state of total panic than the grief of
these women whose husbands were eaten by the worms?
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Mr Jaffey paused and I responded:
Mr Jaffey, I see now, perfectly, that these wretched
widows would very well cause the tenants to have great alarm
which we have, hitherto, decided must be avoided at all costs.
Mr Jaffey nodded eagerly:
Yes, and what is more, sir, is that the deceased
gardeners were accommodated in tied cottages and, now that
they are, on account of their being dead and possibly consumed
by the worms, unable to work on the Malcotte Estate, the tied
leases should now be regarded as revoked.
And what, precisely, does that mean, Mr Jaffey?
Mr Jaffey tugged restlessly at his beard:
It means, sir, precisely what it means. Though, by way
of a corollary, I might add that, even as we speak, the
Mohammedan widows have no legal right to reside in the
Yards and, in fact, must be regarded as having been trespassers
the very minute their husbands ceased to be fit for service on
the Estate on becoming dead, sir.
I rose from our little huddle and sighed:
Certainly they are trespassers and, Mr Jaffey, I see that
we are presented with something of a quandary as you say. Am
I to presume that their continued presence in the house is
connected in some way or other to your concerns that, were
they to be allowed, as it were, to mingle with the other tenants,
there could well be some great panic? And, Mr Jaffey, am I to
presume further that
Mr Jaffey interjected:
This was precisely why I chose not to demand that
the widows should leave immediately and why, indeed, they
are still here just the other side of the door.
I see, I said; yet, in all honesty, I felt a certain
uncertainty regarding Mr Jaffeys prudence. Again, I was
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stricken by that difference in our natures upon which I have
hitherto remarked and, pressed on by my own, bolder nature, I
felt that it was imperative that I should provide objections,
perforce of reason, to Mr Jaffeys judgement that the widows
should be kept in the house:
Mr Jaffey, I said, addressing him on my return to the
sideboard (needless-to-say, Mr Jaffey kept himself close to
me), I do apologise in advance if I now seem to you to be a
little critical of your decision to the effect that these Albanian
widows should be kept here, but I have two objections to make:
The first, Mr Jaffey, is that these veiled widows must have
known for some time that their husbands were deceased and
have they not already been mingling with the other tenants in
their state of vociferous distress? I can only conclude that
rumours of a calamity of some sort already abound in the
Yards. Given that this is so, I should add, that keeping them
incarcerated here is tantamount to locking the stable doors after
the horse has bolted. Further more, Mr Jaffey, keeping them
locked away like this will result in the conspicuousness of their
absence in the Yards which can only add to the tittle-tattle and
fearful gossip so enjoyed by the lower orders. The second
thought I have is less of an objection but more of a
consideration and is that, conversely to my first objection,
might it not be conjectured that it should take little effort, on
our part, to convince the tenants that the four women are either
liars or mad, for, after all, are they not Mohammedans and
from a part of the world infamous for hysteria and chaos?
Indeed, Mr Jaffey, I should contend that little credence will
have been given by the other tenants to anything that they
might already have said. In conclusion, Mr Jaffey, which ever
way you look at the quandary, our keeping them here is
unreasonable.
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Indeed, sir. The problem caused by the veiled widows
will cease to be by the end of the afternoon.
Oh, I said. And how might that be? I asked,
pushing my fork into a large piece of liver and raising it to my
mouth.
Mr Jaffey opened his eyes and leaned forward with the
air, I should say, of an arch conspirator about to divulge some
devilish complot. He glanced at the door and then me:
I shall explain, sir. But, please, I must let you, at last,
enjoy your breakfast and do apologise profusely if I have been,
in any way, responsible for delaying you.
I sighed and found myself smiling back at Mr Jaffey
and began to feel quite guilty and foolish that I should have
been annoyed with him, though, to be fair to myself, such
childish emotions might partly be blamed on my ravenous
hunger. I shook my head, as if to indicate that Mr Jaffey had
no reason at all to feel he should apologise and, without a word
more, I popped the calf's liver into my mouth and found,
immediately, that it was stone cold and had become as tough as
old boot leather.
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Chapter IV
No amount of reflection upon the possible medicinal
benefits of my breakfast, inspired by recollections of my
readings about the famished Chinese peoples, seemed to have
been sufficient to induce in me a feeling at all favourably
disposed to what I now found between my teeth and, thus,
consequently, my first mouthful of calfs liver was my last.
As Mr Jaffey proceeded to divulge his plan of campaign
regarding the veiled widows, I attempted to listen as best I
could in spite of the fact that my tongue and gorge appeared to
be locked in a battle over the contents of my mouth. After
several difficult minutes, I was relieved to find that my tongue
had emerged the victor though, I should add, only after my
teeth had allied themselves to the cause of downing that
somewhat tough opponent, and my oesophagus, albeit only
after one or two counter attacks, was finally forced into
submission. Very quickly, I had regained my composure and,
after tapping my lips with my napkin, I was able to speak:
I do apologise, Mr Jaffey, but I would have to request
that you go over one or two points, as I have been a little
preoccupied with a small piece of liver that had become lodged
between two back teeth and, in truth, I should have to admit
that I heard not a single word you just said. Indeed, Mr
Jaffey, I continued, pushing my plate of cold breakfast away,
I should be grateful if you might find it possible to begin
again and assure you, this time, that you shall have my whole
and undivided attention.
Mr Jaffey opened his eyes and closed his lips in mid
sentence and, it appeared to me, just then, gave himself a little
shake, rather like a dog whose back has just been tickled by a
flea.
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I see, replied Mr Jaffey, glancing at the plate of cold
breakfast, now approximately equidistant between us, and
leaning forward:
Perhaps sir, he continued, it were best that I did not
repeat verbatim what I have been saying, as we have already
found ourselves tangentially occupied enough this morning
and, moreover, I am increasingly aware of the fact that we have
not yet addressed our main purpose for the day being our
planned guest list for the lavish dinner. Mr Jaffey sighed. So
I shall summarise, briefly, how we shall resolve the affair of the
Mohammedan widows.
I do agree, Mr Jaffey, that it is most requisite that we
push on with matters and you are quite correct to remind me
that our main concern lies with our invitations for the grand
dinner. Needless-to-say, Mr Jaffey, I am all ears.
Mr Jaffey nodded and then pushed back his chair and
stood up and thence removed his silver pocket watch:
It is now one quarter of an hour past one oclock and I
have arranged that we should meet the Mohammedan widows
at precisely three oclock outside the Walled Garden door. As I
have already intimated, whilst your attention was elsewhere
engaged, we shall invite these widows to take that opportunity
of burying the corpses, or parts of their deceased husbands and
shall provide them with the access they have so adamantly
demanded. Really, sir, as you can see, I propose to do little
more or little less than meet their demands.
Mr Jaffey replaced his pocket watch and moved away
from the side of the table.
I have always contended, sir, he continued, that the
best solutions are the simplest and most direct, for the more
complicated ones tend to produce difficulties of their own and
in their turn. Consequently, I should ask: what could be
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simpler, when responding to a request, than that the request be
granted and without unnecessary delay?
I too rose from my place at the table and desired to
applaud what seemed to me perfect good sense and practicality
on Mr Jaffeys part, but Mr Jaffey spoke on and pronounced a
suggestion that had been a thought in the back of my own mind
and, had I been given the opportunity, I should have later
uttered myself:
Might I suggest, sir, that, as we have a couple of hours
to spare, we repair to the Blue dining room for a spot of
luncheon. This would seem particularly requisite, given that
breakfast today was something of a failure and, I must confess
to feeling quite half-starved myself.
Now there, Mr Jaffey, you speak even more good
sense and should we
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