mentoring letter 38
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MENTORING LETTER 38
To understand why
I don't go to
church, the newly
release book, "the
New Idolatry"hould answer your
questions!
To watch a brief
video trailer about
the book, click its
cover below!
www.pamsheppard.com
Resisting the DevilPart 3
RESISTANCE BY REFUSAL
Consider Jonah and his disobedience and
sudden flight from God to a ship filled with men
about to be shipwrecked because of Jonah's
folly. So to find out why they suddenly entered
into a severe storm, the men on board cast lots
and the lot fell to Jonah. Once Jonah was
revealed, he confessed. You would have thought
that the men would have immediately picked up
Jonah and thrown him off of the ship. Instead,
they tried to row faster. Yet when all human
effort failed, they reluctantly threw Jonah
overboard and peace immediately prevailed for
them.
Why didn't Jonah just jump overboard himself?
Perhaps it was not physically possible and he
needed someone to lift him up and cast him into
the sea. My suspicion is that as it is in mostcases, the people who are bringing storms into
our lives are "all about self," especially when
their needs are being met by us.
However what I have learned by experience, is
that once the cause of an attack has been
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contact me!
contact@pamsheppard.com
uncovered or revealed to me, my next step is to
refuse. Sometimes you have to refuse a
condition or persuasion that is within your
personality or in other words, a refusal may have
to be made to your flesh.
For example, if you are a person that must be
liked or approved of by others, you will have to
refuse your flesh in this regard. If you can
answer an emphatic "yes," to the following
statements as conditions of your own flesh,
refusal will eventually be in order, if you are
going to effectively resist the devil:
I try to avoid being alone
I let other people decide what to do. I get upset when people don't include me
in their activities; I am stressed if I don't include other
people in my plans; I am easily led; I hate any form of confrontation; I can't stand being left out of things; I am emotionally dependent upon people.
So one way to crucify your flesh is by refusing to
act out its nature.
Besides refusing your former nature without
Christ, there are times when you also have to
refuse your former perception or understanding
as it relates to spiritual and religious matters. In
fact, refusal is one of the ways that we cast down
our imaginations, and every thought that is
contrary to our obedience to the inner leadings
of the Holy Ghost.
For example, if you have assumed that God
would not allow the enemy to deceive you under
any circumstances, to resist the devil that is
assigned to you, you will have to refuse every
thought connected to this false assumption. I
personally know from experience that I can be
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deceived by the enemy because I have been,
several times in fact.
Here is a personal example. It has been revealed
to me that in 1996, I founded a church basedupon the nature of my flesh and the leading of
the religious demon assigned to me. Certainly, I
believed that I was led by God at the time.
However, with the discernment and the
enlightenment that I have received over time, I
can look back now with such understanding.
What was confusing and complicated in 1996 is
obvious and simple today.
Once my eyes were fully opened in 2008, I had to
exercise refusal by closing the church doors.
Certainly I had to face opposition to closing it. In
fact, for a year, services continued in a members
home, until her eyes were also opened and the
doors of the church were permanently shut,
never to open again.
As soon as I took the first step of refusal as I
resisted the devil, the next revelation followed.
Since the enemy was the secret force that led me
to start this church in the first place, it logically
and spiritually follows that each and every
person who played a significant role in its
operations was sent by the enemy also. In 13
years, several people were involved. Out of all of
them, I have contact with two persons from the
former church.
Recently, I had a inner sense in my spirit that I
was to "back up" in these two relationships.
Since our contact is infrequent, it was notdifficult to do. Actually, I have withdrawn in
ways that are really not discernible to people
who are busy in the world, living their lives as the
world does. So as sleeping dogs lie, people have
naturally faded out of my life, without knowing
my concerns and reservations. Well, after six
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for Diana sent me a second friendship invitation
on facebook. Obviously, the demon KNEW that
she would do so and he was setting the stage for
me to accept it. Why this particular person?
Because she had been my most promising
church member. There are issues between us
that are un-resolved. From past experience, I
know that a reactivated friendship with Diana
would not only be distracting and draining,
but clearly, she is a receptive vessel for their
use.
The demons desired and then led Diana to
contact me, and after 6 years of silence. Worth
mentioning, since I remain fond of her, the
enemy hoped that if I thought that her life wasabout to end, I would accept her facebook
request and disobey the revelation that is in my
spirit which is "don't look back. Everyone,
including Diana, was sent to you by the devil in
the past. Don't give place to the enemy again."
So what did I do? Obviously, ignoring the first
request did not work. So I had to refuse it. I sent
Diana a private facebook message, explaining
the situation in a direct yet tactful way, so thatshe graciously responded without feeling
personally rejected.
I am not refusing Diana or any of the other former
members. I am resisting the devil that is
assigned to me. There is a difference. Once you
overcome a fear of personal and social rejection,
the tool of refusal will cause the devil to flee from
you.
PAM'S BOOK CORNER:
An Excerpt from "Come Out of Her, God's
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People"
Yet deliverance from church is no easy feat
because Church attendance can evolve into an
addiction. Once you get hooked, you need to be
detoxed. As substance abusers go into a 28-day
detox to get clean, church addicts need to stay out ofchurch for at least 28-30 days. As creatures of habit, I
have found that any addiction can be physically broken
in that time period. Even so, once the 28 day fast is
completed, the addiction in the soul is yet another story.
The mind, the heart and the emotions must be
renewed and for that, a drug addict will go into either a
90 day out patient facility or a 6 months residential
program.
So too with the church addict. From 90 days to
6 months, perhaps a year, the church addicts mind
must be re-trained. False doctrines and practices thatthe churchgoer has believed in for decades must be
challenged so that the soul can be renewed. As God
Himself has compared false worship to prostitution or
whoredom , I am not out of line in making a similar
comparison. A church addiction can be compared to
good sex with someone you know does not really love
you. Simply put, you get hooked to the thrill and the
feeling. Those of us who have never been there and
done that wonder what the thrill is for a
masochist. Masochism from a psychiatric perspective is
defined as a condition in which sexual gratification
depends on suffering, physical pain and humiliation
gained from despair, deprivation, and degradation. Theperpetrator can be others or it can be self inflicted.
Unfortunately, masochists are known to find pleasure inself denial and emotional pain.
I can relate on a spiritual level because sexual
masochism is like self imposed martyrdom. For
example, it is not a part of my normal personality to
tolerate a lack of regard or disrespect from anyone, yet
I passively allowed myself to be frequently humiliated
over a 25 year span by ignorant church bishops, elders
and members who would have been of no
consequence to me in the world. It is actually in
my carnal nature to chew up the meat and spit out thebones of folk like this. But in the church, I allowed these
abusers to ascend themselves over me with their
spiritual feet in my back, tacitly enduring their verbal
abuse and complete disregard of my personhood, overand over again.
Why? Because I ignorantly assumed that I was
suffering for Christ. Notwithstanding, like a spiritual
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masochists, a sensual, carnal thrill was obtainable
through believing that I was more righteous than they
because I was faithfully doing Gods will. What a shock
to find out after more than two decades, that God
never sent me there for ANY reason. He simply used
what the enemy meant for evil for my personal and
spiritual good, so that I could be used by Him to helpothers help themselves! Nevertheless, as one who
was addicted, I never wanted to leave that Whore onmy own so God made HER PUT ME OUT!!!!
Ignorant of my own emotional condition, Ifoolishly submitted myself to the spiritual abuse thatthose I pastored inflicted upon me. Whatever theyneeded, I was there for them. I spent quality time withmost of them---shopping, vacations and other outings,cooking for them, you name it. I was at the jails,hospitals, homes. I was a devoted pastor, nevercontrolling or demanding with anyone. I even came
from behind the pulpit and taught them as Jesus did.Yet none of my efforts bore any fruit in them for JesusChrist. The irony is that the devil used those I pastoredin three different churches to try to cause me to changemy definition of the word "pastor". Religious devilsused church members to try to beat me down withdiscouragement by causing them to treat me with alack of appreciation, regard and respect. In other words,I was not loved. For some time, I thought it wasbecause I am "not a man." I have seen men reveredwho were known to be homosexuals, abusers of allkinds. But my gender was not the cause. The onlydistinction between me and them was that I was not
raised in church and I came to know Jesus Christoutside of church walls.
As I reflect, I do not recall that I everreally pastored those who were truly saved. Evenwhen I started my own church in 1996, I was remainedabused by people who actually chose to follow me.Yet, as I remember each one of them, I see no fruit forJesus Christ. In spite of the fact that I preached apowerful message, the word fell on ground that "wasnot good." Why? There is a simple answer, takenstraight from the Lords own lips. When folk are servingtwo masters, they end up hating one and loving theother. Therefore their hatred of me was not
personal. It was scriptural and it was prophetic. Thesheep I served were serving two masters. Since Ibelong to Christ, I was despised. Therefore, it isunderstandable to me now, that it was not God whocalled me to ministry while I was in the Denomination. Icould be wrong but I dont believe that God would callanyone of His to serve Him within such a filthy, corruptsystem.
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Once I embraced this truth, I realized that mysituation can be compared to the first predicament ofHis servant Moses. While he was in Egypt, Moses triedto help his own people but he failed. It was not until hewas forced out of Egypt into the wilderness, that Godprepared him for ministry. In like manner today, I
believe that to be used by God effectively, one has toactually leave the organized church.
Not a few hours after I accepted this revelation,my "first' sheep telephoned me. George is a man whowas a member of the first church that I pastoredin 1989. To make a long story short, it was revealed inthe spirit that George was sent to me to serve as "aconstant thorn in my side." I was set free fromGeorge about 4 years ago when I asked him to leavemy church. A faithful tither and church attender, he wasliterally "tearing down the church" with his relapses intodrugs and sexual sin. In fact, no loose woman or drugaddict was safe in my church because of him. I
couldn't completely avoid all contact withGeorge because one of his relatives is also a memberof my family through marriage.
So with this phone call, since I now have anear to hear, I actually heard a religious devil speakthrough George to me. George purred: "you were sucha dedicated pastor, preaching to people who neverappreciated you and who did you so wrong. Just knowthat I appreciate you and I have much fruit in my life forChrist because of your ministry." I could have spit anduttered "Get thee behind me, Satan." Instead, I simplyreplied, "thanks for the kind words, but I see no real fruit
borne in anyone because of my ministry to them.
It was all a lie. The only reason George is NOTon drugs right now is because he barely survived tworecent strokes, his diabetes is off the chain, but most ofall, his drinkin and druggin partner died two years ago---his brother, Bobby. Today George is really afraid touse drugs because he is not yet ready to die!!! Sexualsin has stopped because his libido is gone, eventhough his pride will not allow him to admitit. George still lives in a motel for the homeless, ahovel that is indescribable---an active member of aholiness, Pentecostal church. We had not engaged in aspiritual conversation in well over a year. Yet, somehow, George chose to call me with this compliment onthe very day that I embraced the fact that "God didn'tcall me to pastor in the organized church." What do Imake of this? Well, THE DEVIL DOESN'T STOPTALKING TO US AS LONG AS HE CAN FIND ACHANNEL TO BRING FORTH HIS MESSAGE.
Yet, don't get me wrong. I suspect that I amcertainly chosen by God as a handmaiden unto theLord Jesus Christ. Besides writing and counseling, I just
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don't yet know exactly what I am called to doyet. Moses waited 40 years. I've only waited 33 years. Ianticipate that I'll be knowing "soon enough!" When Ido, I'll be ready!!!!
Sheppard's Counseling and Publishing Center, PO Box 356, East Greenbush NY 12061
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